Words mean nothing its actions that matter most. Anyone can say i love you but its the way they treat you is what matters.
Dont walk alway without talking to him first.
Just becouse he hasnt said it doesn’t mean he doesn’t. Please dont listen to everyone who is saying walk away becouse what if you do walk and he does love you? You need to talk to him then make you decision. Men are shit with emotions, maybe he thinks that you know that he loves you and he just doesn’t have to say it becouse you already know.
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I didnt tell my husband I loved him until we got married 
first time he told me he loved me I said thanks and went to bed 
I now say I love you but most of the time I say LOTTLE
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I’ve been with my husband for 13 years, married for 5 years, and 2 kids. I’ve heard the words “I love you” maybe once or twice. He doesn’t say it but he shows it every day in small ways. If he shows with his actions how much he cares, why does it matter if he says it?
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And you are still there??? He has no value towards you and you are better than that.
Words and actions need to align. But there’s zero context here. Some men have a difficulty showing and expressing their emotions. But just because he doesn’t say it doesn’t mean he doesn’t say it in other ways. Picking up the dog shit, paying the bill, breakfast in bed, etc I wouldn’t get hung up on words, if he’s been displaying his effects on for you.
Pay attention, maybe he says it in other ways like cooking for you, getting you flowers or gifts, running a Bath or helping around the house. Or you could just ask him??
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Maybe he says it n different ways
My parents were married for 35 years and I never heard them say I love you to each other. My Dad was just not that type of guy lol. He showed love by providing!
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Maybe he just doesn’t feel the need to SAY it. If you need to hear it, try talking to him. People can’t read minds.
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If that’s something that you need and I assume you wouldn’t be asking if it weren’t, then I’d first try having a conversation letting him know how you’re feeling and if he can’t give you what you need then it’s time to walk away.
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So be the first to say it
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Why is this a question?
Have you talked to him about it? Have you asked him if he loves you?
Yes… after a conversation about commitment
Depends. Do you feel like you should? My bestfriend has been with her partner for 5 years and it hasn’t been until recently that he has said it. But he showed it. I asked her how can you be with someone who doesnt say I love you. She said “hes been through alot and doesnt know what love is right now but he shows me and I feel loved and that’s more important then 3 little words.” They are now engaged and trying for a baby. I’ve never seen someone love a woman more then loves her.
tf you stay for 4 years?!
Showing it is more important then saying it
Possibly too nervous to say it in the first place and now feels to awkward to say it because of how much time has passed?
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I couldn’t deal with that personally.
How does he treat you? The fact your questioning it means maybe he hasn’t shown he loves you let alone says it?
Look at the relationship and see what he does that says “I love you” and talk to him about it. He might not even realise.
If he is being an twt waffle asshle… You’re better off leaving. 
Shouldn’t be an issue to say I love you, especially after 4 years. Something very wrong with that.
Do you feel like he loves you? Does he show he loves you? If yes then don’t be silly over 1 sentence…
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Im curious as to what he says when you say it to him?
Does he just do a 
?? 
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True action speak louder than words x
Actions speak louder than words!
Sami Doran this is you in a relationship
One time I heard a story about a couple that was together for 75 years and he never told her he loves lose her. She said that was okay he didn’t need to because he showed her everyday that he does. She never needed to hear it bc she saw it and felt it based off of his actions. Love is only a word.
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Grew up with a German family that didn’t express affection, but married two men that completely abused me and said I love you all the time. I trust actions, not words.
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I mean I’m sure you’ve said it to him after these 4 years so it’s an issue if it hasn’t been said back. It’s almost like a natural response to say back when someone tells you “I love you”, organically you hear “I love you too.” Me personally I need to hear it and see it. People are saying words don’t mean anything, but words can manifest and do have power. It just depends on how you feel about it. If you have an issue with it speak on it, after 4 years no conversation should be off the table.
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Some men just aren’t good with expressing themselves in that way and most likely it has nt to do with you. I understand needing to hear the words, but if he is showing that he loves you then I wouldn’t worry bout it. Actions speak a whole hell of a lot then words. Talk to him about it.
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It just might not be his love language. Ask yourself if he shows you? Aside from a word do you feel loved by his actions? Some men can say the words all day long… but their actions show a whole other picture…now my husband says I love you, For a while I often felt it was said in more of a sarcastic way… it wasn’t. He had a different home life growing up then I did, He had a different way of saying this to my step sons (his older two) and even the way he says it to our toddler. But, a day doesn’t go by where I don’t feel his love or see it in his actions.
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I would probably walk away. Idk that’s kind of weird to me. Does he treat right? Does he act like he loves u? He just doesn’t say it.
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I was with my now husband for 3 years and engaged to him before he said those words to me…we still don’t say it often but, there’s really no need…I know that he loves me because he shows it in so many ways every minute of every day…it is nice to hear sometimes though
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Not a reason to walk away. Some guys just don’t say it. My dad didn’t really say I love you for the first 18 yrs of my life bc it was understood. Some men had harsh childhoods and weren’t used to I love you every five minutes 🤷
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My partner doesn’t say I love you. But he makes me breakfast in bed, coffee in bed, shares lunches, offers to pick up his step kids ect.
My ex use to say I love you all the time and he cheated as well.
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I was with a guy for 2 years once and even tho I said it, he never did. He new how I felt and yet he “wasn’t ready”
And I’m glad I left him because I wasn’t INlove with the guy, and within 6 months of being single I met the love of my life whom I’ve been married to know for 6 years.
You deserve better like me. Leave the guy.
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Love is patient and kind
It is NOT jealous or envious, it does not hold grudges or keep score
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Honestly girl, my dad’s only told me he loved me once- in fifth grade. And I knew and lived with him most my life. I’m 37. It is what it is.
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Im the other end. Ive been with my boyfriend over a year and Ive never said it. I work really hard to provide for my girls and stay focused on what I need to do, and ive done so much in just a year. he’s not the only one i wont speak it to my mom or almost any family either. Im less focused on the words more focused on my actions. i comfort him in every other way but he is bothered by it.
Those are just words. How does he treat you? Does he show you he loves you? Is he kind, respectful, compassionate? Words mean absolutely nothing without the actions to back them up. If he shows you love that’s what matters.
So iv recently learned this. Maybe he does love/care about you, but he clearly isn’t giving you what you need in the relationship. He isn’t loving you the way you need to be loved. Doesn’t mean it’s either person fault if it doesn’t work out, it just might not be the right chemistry
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You need to ask yourself if YOU are okay with it. Personally I never would have made it that long with someone who’s never told me they love me. I personally need that affirmation in a relationship. It’s all about what makes you happy and what you need out of your relationship.
I’m busy so I can’t give a super long response, but personally I would either ask him to go therapy because I feel like it’s not normal to have been with someone THAT long and still not feel comfortable saying I love you. He may some mental health issues when it comes to giving affection and it’s not fair to you that that you say it so much for long and he has yet to even say it. If he’s not interested in working with you on that, please leave unless you’re genuinely OK with that (which I doubt you are otherwise you wouldn’t be asking about it). There are couples who get married in that about of time and he may just not be the one which is why it doesn’t feel right to him yet. You deserve to know you’re loved romantically.
He has been with you for 4 years and if he has been faithful and treated you right then he has shown he loves you and actions speak louder than words! My ex of 5 yrs told me he loved me all the time and still cheated on me. Words don’t mean much, it’s how they act and how they treat you that matters!
Actions speak louder than words. Some people have a really hard time saying those words, even to family. Does he show that he loves you? Does he do anything to make you feel loved and be happy?
Have you spoken to him about it?
Does he show his love other ways? Do you feel loved? I think it’s more important that you feel he loves you saying it is not everything. That being said maybe talk to him about it maybe asking him if theirs something stopping it also telling him if it’s what you want that you would like him
To say it to you sometimes like when he’s ready and wahts to tell you no pressure.
Me extremely abussive ex said “I love you” all the time but his actions really proved otherwise. If he’s SHOWING you that he loves you that is so much better. If you need to hear the words then I would have a talk with his expressing your needs.
I have been with my bf 3 years getting married in 2 weeks… he doesn’t say it as often as I do… And when I say it he says me to we are 2 different races and say it different ways this bothered me so I addressed it and he was like baby I love you… you know this… and if ever I don’t show you … just communicate because I never want you to feel like your not loved… But he didn’t grow up in a family saying I love you often so he doesn’t…
My stepdaughter that I have raised since 7 is 25 now and has never told me or her dad that she loves us. We know she does, it’s just not something she says.
It really depends. My ex and I never said I love you (I wanted to) but he wasnt comfortable with it after having been hurt so many times before by those he “loved”. He always did and still does show me by his actions and had been our foundation to our friend ship. We ended things for a whole different reason. But it truly just depends on factors that play into your relationship and how he makes you feel
My boyfriend very rarely tell me he loves me but always shows he loves me. He’s a actions speak louder than words type person. If he shows you then I wouldnt worry to much
This is a loaded question. Does he show he loves you, like is his love language action vs verbal? Does he seem uncaring like its just 2 friends living together? My fiance probably says it 100 times a day and wants that in return his love language is verbal expression of love mine is time and touch. There are 5 different love languages so his may just be different from yours
I have been with my boyfriend for 3years and he never told me he loved me until I was moving out…now I hear it multiple times a day
Sam never told Molly he loved her either in Ghost…but obviously. I hope you can see that he does.
Actions speak so much louder than words…
Trauma might be behind the vocabulary. Never know.
If you do feel 2nd place, please speak up though. You deserve to be validated and He deserves to know what’s bothering you.
The obvious answer is he doesn’t, just because some one is with you doesn’t mean they do. Same even if they do say it. I’d say look at how he actually treats you, not the lies to tell yourself or others. If he is a great guy to you. I’d just enjoy it. Though if you say it & he never does… But again, I’d rather not have some one say it if they don’t feel it. And you’d be surprised how many partners are just placeholders till better or the right one comes long.
I think I only ever heard my pap say I love you once, and that was only bc I said it first. Some guys just don’t say it, but have other ways to show their love. It’s obviously bothering you though, so I would at least say something to see how he feels.
I wouldn’t even go there as they say . . The words you speak are how the heart feels . . Been there done that not worth it
Have you talked to him? Some people aren’t raised on saying it, but they show it. Do you need validation? If you he doesn’t show it or say it by now, then leave because obviously he doesn’t love you. But if he shows you, actions speak much louder then words. Just because they say it doesn’t always mean they do neither.
Ha! Been with my man for almost 10yrs and he dont say it… But he does other things to show his love…
Yes if he doesn’t love you after four years, he never will. Go find one who will love you with the same energy you do them and shows it and says it
Is that the one reason? If so, no. He may not know how to express himself. Remember, everyone wasn’t raised the same way you were.
If he shows it instead then you’re fine. I had a guy tell me he loved me for 3 years and when I asked him about future plans for us, he said after the first year together he couldn’t see himself ever marrying me or having kids together.
Have you talked to him about it? Maybe he has some personal issues or past trauma that prevents him from saying the actual words but as others suggested actions speak louder than words. 4 years is a long time and if he’s been good to you I wouldn’t throw it all away over this.
Don’t walk honey RUN! Run as fast as your little legs can RUN.
Actions speak louder than words do and sometimes people find it hard to say it back because they never grew up with that around them. We just see it and know it from the heart. Maybe ask why and find your answers before bouncing out. Hope this helps you out
I would say talk to him first. Also think about if he does things to show he loves you…?If that does not go over well, I would do what you feel in your heart.
I personally feel both actions & words expressed simultaneously are important. I don’t know how a relationship lasted 4 years without being shown or told “I love you”. I’m sorry. Words & actions have together hold a lot of power. Personally, if it were me I wouldn’t stay, but then that’s just me. To each their own path.
Maybe he’s not ready for that commitment!!If it ain’t broke don’t fix it!!! Take your time life isn’t a race!!!
Ask him about it, talk and see if he doesn’t have past trauma over I love you.
Not being mean, but he don’t. I left someone that didn’t tell me after a year. If someone loves you, they tell you. Have you said it or asked him?
I can’t With these questions. Are these actually real
People asking these? If so our world is in more trouble than I thought.
Does he know you 2 are dating?
I mean…does he show you??
Does he show you though?
Does he show it at least? It’s worse when the say it and don’t show it🥴
It depends how he shows u how much he loves u actions are louder then words
MY ex used to say I blue heart u baby… wtf who says that shit…
Depends on whether you love for yourself is affected by it.
Lol kind of sounds like he’s not your boyfriend already…
If he doesn’t love you now, I don’t think he ever could. I couldn’t imagine going that long without hearing I love you. 4 years is a long time. Idc how hard someone has showing emotions, saying I love you is simple. And after 4 years yup absolutely expected. If I wasn’t loved long before that I would leave.
You may be the side chick when…
Think so. What you waiting for old age.
“I love you” is just words. Actions speak louder. For instance, my ex told me every day for 5 years that he loved me but literally every day, he proved otherwise by cheating and also by getting nude pictures from dozens of girls and also by throwing items at me including his hands. Words literally don’t mean anything.
Some men are very verbal about it and some aren’t. If he does things to show you he does, then maybe that is his way of saying it but to never say it, not even once is kinda hurtful towards you and your relationship. Just straight up ask him if he does. If you need more in a relationship express that to him.
He must like being friends only. Maybe he has had problems before.
I’d rather a man not ever tell me they love me then to be lying about it 
Have you told him? If so, I’d ask him…why haven’t you…good luck!
If you have to ask, you already know the answer.
Does he SHOW you he does because growing up I dont recall my dad saying it much but boy did he ALWAYS show it❤
You’ve wasted all this time?? Find a real man
Thats a really long time to not be able to tell you he loves you
Whaaaaaat??? Girl you should have left after 1 year!!!
I’d rather see it than hear it
Does he show you? Words are empty without action anyway.
Are you even in a relationship? 
Why haven’t you walked away?
Uhm why would you waste four years on someone who doesn’t love you is a better question
You need to ask him about it
The word love is used so much that it really doesnt mean shit anymore
Is this a serious question?