Mine didnt… it sucked at the time and it was a nasty devorce but now that im older I understand. Just please make sure to try to talk to them mine didnt and I stressed out and blamed myself and fails 9th grade I had to go to summer school to pass it and also theropy
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If you aren’t happy don’t stay. Plain and simple
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Kids can’t be happy with unhappy parents.
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Please please please listen to me. It is far better to come from a broken home rather than live in one! Do not, DO NOT subject any of those kids to your toxic environment!
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Absolutely. Children need stability. Learn to be happy and the children will follow your example
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If you mean staying together for the kids. No don’t do that it will just hurt your kids in the long run.
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If it’s a control or a abuse issue no. If they stay together for the sake of the kids and aren’t happy no. But they can make it easy as possible.
Your kids are not married to your partner, you are. Kids will adjust. Always take their feelings into consideration but don’t base your decision off of them
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If your not happy then chances are none of your kids are either. You’ve been unhappy by the sounds of it for a long time, what makes you think that can change now? Personally if I was still in love with someone I would try again, if I wasn’t then I’d call it quits, making sure that the children come first in the divorce no matter what
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Absolutely!! Why tf wouldn’t you?..
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Kids are deeply affected by divorce. The choice is tough! For me, I had to ask myself if I wanted my boys to grow up and have marriages like the one their father and I had. I loved their das very, very much - but our marriage was toxic, and we weren’t happy or setting a good example of how marriage should be.
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I’d consider the kids’ we’ll-being, but not their opinion, per se.
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Your kids aren’t happy because you’re not happy.
No. A marriage only has two parties. You aren’t happy. Your kids need to see you happy more than they need to see their parents together.
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YES. I’m divorced but it took me a very long time to decide that because of my children. They will be affected if you choose to divorce. I’m just being completely honest. But, they will also be okay. Especially if the two of you can work with things out peacefully and respectfully. 
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Um no because most kids will want to see their parents together regardless.
Try everything first
Get counseling
Do The Love Dare
Most definitely!! Kids are the ones who suffer the most.
I know you didn’t answer Patricia xx
They deserve an open and honest discussion. Include their change in life…
Hope you have better reasons to han I don’t actually want too
No but you should definitely get them some counselling. Its good for them to let their feelings out
No. Because the. we are teaching our kids to settle just because “we have kids”
If you are not happy, your kids know it and can feel it and most likely aren’t at their happiest either
Trying everything to work it out first.
Nope. Kids deserve 2 happy and healthy parents and sometimes that means they are no longer together
All that’s gonna happen … is that the kids are gonna see the resentment towards your husband coz he convinced u to stay when u don’t want to.
those children arent stupid and will be able to tell if the two of you arent happy, it will set the example to them that unhappy and toxic relationships are acceptable and thats what a marriage should look like, i doubt you would want any of your children in that environment x
My 3 kids were relieved and happy when I divorced their dad…they were miserable in that home before… As long as it’s amicable for your kids, go for it and be happy yourself… Good luck x
I’ve given my sons father one last shot because of our 6 year old. It’s been a year and things are better than our first round but I still hold doubt. I so badly don’t want to hurt our son. He is special needs and I want him to be as happy as possible. I bought my own home and we left and our son became so confused and violent. It’s so hard 
for all of us as hurt happens regardless. I pray things stay as they have since our reconciliation
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It shouldn’t have anything to do with their opinions. If you’re not happy you have to do what you need to do to be happy. It will work out better in the long run instead of being unhappy and miserable.
Don’t stay together for them but as a kid who’s watched her parents go through multiple divorces (dad)…please walk them through what’s happening, offer therapy & support! It rips a hole in you sometimes without proper guidance or understanding of what’s happening and why. In my case it all happened so fast without real communication.
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Do not stay for the sake of the kids. My parents did that & I wished for years they would divorce. When it finally happened I told my mom that I was happy because I had wanted it for nearly a decade at that point. She thought I was happy they stayed together. To this day I wish they had divorced & done therapy/ parenting through divorce classes.
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Divorce is an adult decision.
But they should be given opportunity and resources to help them navigate their emotions. I.e. counseling, safe open discussions. Etc.
Also using the children as pawns to hurt the other parent is disgusting
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don’t stay together for the kids. My parents did that. It was awful. I used to wish they’d divorce.
I refused to do that so I got a divorce. We made sure my kids were a priority in the divorce and I made sure I was absolutely positive for my kids sake but their feelings of wanting us together was not considered
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Their feeling matter after you do what is best for you, meaning making the decision to stay or leave.
That is YOUR decision. Then you handle the kids feelings from there. Good luck.
If staying is hurting your kids absolutely. They should not have a choice if you stay if you are unhappy, but knowing that they also feel this way is definitely a factor.
Absolutely not. Their feelings are valid, but that does not mean that their feelings should determine your choice in this decision.
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Yes in the way that I’d rather my children be raised in a healthy, loving environment instead of teaching them the wrong things by staying. No, if you mean staying because the kids want you to.
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I hope and pretty much know if I were faced with this, that I would definitely take my kids’ feelings serious and do what needed to be done to help them through the transition as much as possible. But they’re still children. I’m not sure I’d ask an opinion from them, being children, on such an adult issue. They may feel if you speak to them, they need to favor you. If dad approaches it, they may attach there. You never know. But it feels off too me to ask kids about adult matters. It can be manipulative and damaging. So, in my opinion, I would for sure ask my children’s feelings and deal with that with them, and I’d possibly not take opinions from anyone. But that’s just me.
Good luck and I’m sorry your marriage is in the shitter.
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Honestly no. Maybe as far as visitations and living arrangements if they are old enough to decide that rationally, but as far as either staying together or not? No. It’s honestly not their choice. If you stay they are just going to see how miserable you are and you are just teaching them that they should stay in relationships for whatever reason, just because. It’s not fair to you, him, or your children.
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my dad told me that if i stayed for the kid it would only hurt in the long run. she would grow up to resent us. so I made him leave. she was 2. she is now 7 and we are both remarried and super happy. she doesn’t remember us being together she asks alot of questions and I just tell her we just couldn’t get along. as far as the divorce goes with custody she happy with it.
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Never ignore their feelings. Not in divorce. Your children will marry or not marry based on their experiences. It also affects how they see partners in their own relationships.
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In all honesty their feelings will be hurt but they will heal what is best for them is and being in an unhappy home is unhealthy and not good for you or the children. They will be happier in the long run. They may not see it now but they will. Specially when both parents are happier people. Make sure to explain to the kids in appropriate manner as it will be hard them but keep in mind the whole family will be in a better place when the environment is a happier place.
Yes, I would take their feelings into consideration. If your marriage is making the entire household unhappy, getting a divorce seems like the best option.
I am curious? Is it her older kids that are unhappy. The other kids are very young to have an opinion about this
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Seriously you don’t want your children living with the weight of Adults life decisions. Yes , they deserve communication but not responsibility for YOUR Life decisions? Put on your big girl panties and make your own decision.
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To an extent I suppose. But you won’t have happy kids if they’re constantly stuck in the turmoil of parents who don’t love each other and don’t want to be together… Best thing to do is make sure you yourself are happy.
Currently going through a divorce and we only have A seven-year-old together and she don’t know any different because we still keep our parenting the same and we’ve also been living in separate houses for close to two years now so she is content and fine with it we never even told her we were getting divorced at all hope all goes well
Don’t stay together just for the kids but certainly don’t put their feelings aside either because their feelings do matter and this does impact them. Kids shouldn’t be making adult decisions tho and whatever you and your husband feel is best for you both and the kids is the direction you should take. Watching you be unhappy does not benefit the children or your relationship.
I grew up watching and observing my mom’s whole vibration change the moment my father drove up the driveway 
Separate and if your husband is serious,
he will show you in the time apart he’s serious about real change.
Kids are sophisticated even from a young age and know when mommy isn’t well even if they don’t vocalize it.
However never speak ill of their father even if dad does. Everything has a way of coming out in the wash when they’re older.
Strong possibility you’re going to be the bad guy in all of this. However let it roll off your shoulders and keep your vision on the light at the end of the tunnel.
Being “unhappy” is a really piss poor reason to get a divorce. I really am hoping you’ve done intense counseling together and exhausted every resource before coming to that decision.
Don’t ever put your kids into the position to choose their parents to stay or leave a marriage.
Yes they important to it’s always it’s about the kids but when they speak up or let you know then talk be mad
There’s been many times I was unhappy but i did some soul searching and counseling. I would definitely try again and again till you’ve exhausted all options.
How many times is it now , yes it is hard , and harder on some then others ," think back is it harder on you to try again you have a reason to do.this if you can , your health ,sex life , just your sound and self .
If your not happy no one will be happy. Sometimes the best decision is to end things. It definitely was for me. My kids are a lot more happier now especially as well.
No, even if they were happy with you guys married, you guys are unhappy married. It’ll take some getting used to for everyone, but in the end do what’s best for you.
Is it because he’s abusive in anyway ? Or they just don’t like him ?
Personally I believe you give a marriage % - unhappy or not. Love is a CHOICE… you leave for abuse (emotional, physical, mental or financial) or infidelity.
If you both can give it your all and try, why not give it a shot? What do you have to lose ?
My parents divorce absolutely destroyed me. It was the start of my mental problems. It’s was never explained to me. Didn’t get it. Just wanted my Daddy as I was always a Daddys girl. Couldn’t cope with it. Hot severe depression and anxiety/panic. Had issues with boys. It should have been talked about and we should have been in counseling. We should have understood what it was. I am grown now and am ok. Got a great step dad. But one thing is for sure no matter what I will not get a divorce.
I would because its their family too, and their lives are the most uprooted by divorce. Try family therapy with the kids instead of couples counseling.
I’d say try counseling. Try every avenue before calling it quits. Divorces are hard on kids. But vows were taken hopefully seriously. Try marriage counseling. I think there’s way too many people not taking wedding vows seriously.
If you’re unhappy and so are your kids, leave. Don’t stick around for a piece of paper.
I say if your unhappy leave don’t teach them to suffer for other people
The kids feelings should be considered
No, I wouldn’t because what’s good for you is good for them in the long run
Go to counseling as a family
No, because that’s too much responsibility to place on them. They need to be parented, not play referee.
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That’s like asking if you should wipe your a** after you poop 
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Of course how they feel matters. But they should never be the deciding factor. Kids deserve happy parents. Being in an unhappy marriage is setting them, and you up… for a miserable life
Personally, unless there is abuse, I do not believe in divorce when you have children. It’s your responsibility to provide a solid foundation and both parents in the home. It’s not fair that children should be split because you personally feel some type of way. Being a parent means you put the children first.
I always told a man before he met my child that if my child does not like him after a few visits, we’re done. I always always always make sure my babygirl is happy before anything. So yes, take those feelings into consideration but also show them that it’s not okay to be unhappy in a marriage or relationship. 
Getting remarried yes, divorced, no.
The kids feelings are important but seeing you happy is what needs to be more important. Having a talk with the children about what’s going on and why is happening is more important
As a parent I think I would give it every shot I could. I wouldn’t stay because of the kids but i’d give it one last try at the very least.
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Don’t put the weight of divorce on their shoulders. They will adjust to it.
If you’re not happy you should go forward with the divorce, kids are going to be upset but they will see that their momma is happy in the long run.
Kids are better FROM a broken home, than LIVING in one…
Um yep like it or not it’s their lives
As long as there was no abuse and the marriage was making a toxic environment for the children…then I would stay. I would endure the less than perfect situation that I chose for the sake of my children who had no choice.
Your happiness and mental health is worth leaving. When you feel better, you can be a better Mom and you can take care of your kids better. Divorce is not a bad thing. Your ending a relationship. Your not ending being parents together. He is still going to have the opportunity to be a father. And you are still going to have the opportunity to be a mother. And just work hard to be good co-parents. Find what makes you happy!!!
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yes & no, They have the right to know but they don’t have the right to make their parents stay together because they what them both there. Bit they do need to know they are loved & this wasn’t their fault, Plus both parents should always be there for them
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You don’t “try again” for your kids when the marriage is very much over. My mother stayed with someone well after she should have left and the affects of that stick with me and my brother today. I don’t recommend that at all. It’s healthier for them to see happy healthy parents, even if it is apart
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You consider the kids feelings by creating a healthy environment even if that is you choosing divorce in order to create this you consider the kids feelings and needs by proper co parenting if you are thinking of giving it another shot I would not do so without family and marriage counseling so that you are proactively trying to change what is making you unhappy instead of falling back into the same old things that make you miserable good luck hope all goes well
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I stayed for far too many years thinking it was best for the kids…when we finally divorced my sons (12 and 9 at the time) both said they wished I had left sooner because they hated seeing me miserable. It affected their relationship with their dad, the didn’t like seeing the way their dad manipulated me and verbally abused me (there was physical abuse as well but I dont believe they saw that). My boys are now 19 and 16 and barely have a relationship with their father, even after counseling they have said watching how he was with me all those years affected them and they dont want to be around someone that treats people like that.
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My mom asked me at 7 years old if I would be okay if my parents got a divorce. Of course, I begged her not to and she listened. I grew up resenting my father and seeing him as the problem. They stayed together in a toxic relationship until the day he died. I was 17 when he passed suddenly from pancreatic cancer. As an adult I can see now that everything wasn’t one sided, but as a kid I was robbed of a relationship with him and couldn’t see it until it was too late. As a parent, you have to save yourself in order to save your kids- like the airplane oxygen mask saying. Help your children deal with the process of divorce, but never let them be the deciding factor (directly or indirectly.) That’s a lot of weight for tiny shoulders.
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I’d get divorced regardless because unhappy parents tends to lead to unhappy kids/unhappy life. Parents should NEVER just stay together for the kids. If there is no love there for each other anymore, its needs to be over.
I can’t believe the amount of people that think this woman should stay in an unhappy relationship just because of children yes forget your own mental health and happiness incase you upset your children NO bloody don’t cos their mental health will still suffer in seeing you miserable and suffering for them, you may even start resenting your own children as your only staying for them I say maybe try a trial separation, have him move out and speak to each other openly about why you feel the way you do, one or both of your feelings could change during the separation it could just be that you’ve both been too comfortable n stuck in a rut yet once the change is made you will both maybe see each other differently in a renewed light
Get divorced! It will end up happening any way so save yourself and above all save your children from that pain now! I stayed for the kids and it ended u p hurting me & my children:cry:
What problems are there will still be there and even worse! Stop the pain! 
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Your kids shouldn’t have all the information regarding why you’re divorcing. I would take their thoughts and opinions into account, allow them to express them and receive validation. But I would remember they don’t have all the facts, or they Shouldn’t at least.
Your kids could also resent you for getting a divorce.
Well coming from someone whose parents got divorced. I would have told them if they asked me to have done it way earlier. I think u should tell them the reasons you want to het divorced not in detail though just the basis. Kids understand more than we think
I wanted my parents to divorce growing up would have been better
Two happy homes is better than 1 miserable home.
Please seek marriage counseling! I was there. Ten years in thinking I had tried too long to make things work and be happy myself. We never went to counseling and we got divorced. I regret that every day. Not just for myself but for my family. He wanted counseling I didn’t. So for the rest of my life I have to live with the fact that I did not exhaust every opportunity to keep what I had worked for all those years intact. It may have still not worked out but at least I’d have the peace of knowing I gave it everything I could. As for the kids, let me just put it this way, if I could take back that day we had to tell him, I stay married to my ex the rest of my life. That tore a hole in my soul that will never fully heal. Just make sure have done everything. Best of luck to you whatever you decide to do. Ps I’m generally happy now but not without regret.