If he wants to take the job and move away from you, who’s to say he’s going to be faithful?
My godparents shared a duplex. He was a germ-phobic and had young girlfriends, she was more standard-issue, but accepting, as long as the bleach and girls stayed on his side.
Thousands, if not a million, people live away from their spouses long term. It’s okay, if you need to do it.
How will that be beneficial if you’re paying two mortgages? Unless you’re living rent free somewhere
People do this for work ALLL the time. It’s nothing unusual
I couldn’t do that I’m a jealous person and I would miss the sex
Honestly I think it depends on the couple and if you feel you guys can make it work, then go for it. 
My husband is a truck driver so sort of 
Get divorced. Save yourself the heartache.
Truck drivers do it too.
I wish my ex would have lived away during the week!
First of all… 
The marriage isn’t going well and leaving your job to follow a man is suicide.
I think couples should do what’s best for them and their marriage regardless of society norms. If living apart works for you, go for it.
I know my husband and I had to live apart for a few months while I worked in one state and he lived in another. It was tough Bc I missed him but I made trips back and forth until finally we were able to be back together again in a new state. It worked for us.
My husband worked out of town for the first 2-3 yrs of our relationship/marriage. Definitely not ideal but I also understand you have to go where the money is. So weekend visits back and forth is what we did!
1 Like
Well my ex and I did for 4 years. In 2012 he was deployed for a year. He came home and the military posted him 2hrs away. He moved there and I stayed home as our youngest was finishing high school. My ex would come home on weekends. Sometime during those 3 years he started having an affair. He moved back home and kept cheating for 2 more years. In 2018 he left me for her. Blindsided me.
You will stay married longer that way😄
I so absolutely nothing wrong with it at all! Especially after 20 years. I have been with my husband 26 or 27 years. I am so over the snoring, the mess, the always up in my space. I actually would love this idea. Trust me when I say I don’t want another man, I just want my own bed, my own space and not to have to always talk to someone!
My boyfriends father and step mother don’t even sleep in the same room and they’ve only been married 6 years. I know a couple that’s been married for many more years who don’t live with one another because she is a slob and he loves her but refuses to live and clean up after her disgusting habits.
It’s something some couples just do to keep their marriage
I don’t think it’s a “should/should not” queation. I think it depends on the couple. There’s nothing inherently, morally wrong with it.
We now live in a do what’s best for you world because in the end nobody cares about you marriage is a committed uniting sometimes things in life can pull us apart an cause separation if there are already issues an he is determined to move let him go take the time to figure out what you both are seeking in life a geographical change won’t make or break a relationship if true love is involved
I think it totally depends on your marriage and how happy you both are.
I wonder if that would help your relationship. My husband travels for work and we stay home but go visit.
But he travels all over so it’s not like we could move with him.
If he had a job that he had to move wouldn’t take it because he knows I’m not ever moving.
Yeah that never really endeds well acutely I’ve never heard of it working out 
It can work. But you both have to be willing to travel back and forth.
If you don’t take the time to shower each other with love while apart, then this will be the path to divorce.
The key here is your marriage isn’t well so it will not end well being apart.
If your marriage was strong to begin with then it would be doable.
I believe in modern society this is called ‘the military’. Google it.
1 Like
If thats what they chose their choice why judge. Be happy
Sounds like the beginning ofa divorce
I mean… SHOULD they? No. It’s definitely abnormal and probably not good for a relationship. Can they? Sure. My in-laws have been doing it for years. My FIL works out of state and just comes home to visit sometimes, but majority of the time he is not even in the same state. It’s been that way for at least 10 years now. They are still together though
How can you miss him if he’s always there ?
It can work . Lots of couples do this for work , no biggie, you have a 20 year foundation trust what you’ve built.
Well my partner and I basically have lived apart for 5 years of our 10 year relationship. We live in TN but he works in Chicago, he’s home Friday through Sunday 3 times a month and honestly our relationship has never been better. We’re both pretty anti social people who love our personal space so it really works well for us. None of my friends understand how it works so well but arguments are rare probably because we aren’t in each other faces and have time to decide when we have a disagreement whether that disagreement is the hill we’re willing to die on solely because we aren’t in each other’s faces constantly and we have time to process the other person’s side before we see each other.
I don’t know that this would work for a lot of couples but it works well for us.
I think every couple is so unique the answer has to be between them. Advice from others just adds to the confusion.
It can work. People do this. Many jobs require it. However why is there problems in your relationship? Do you have trust issues and worry about cheating ect? Unhealthy relationships aren’t good. Distance I don’t think is the answer for them. People who do it for jobs tend to do it because the money. Not because they need to get away from their spouse.
Not in my world … however only you know the answer to that
My mother in law remarried and stays in NC while her daughter goes to college and he lives in GA…they’ve been together 10 years and are able to travel when they want to see each other and are 100% faithful…as a single mom, I find this to be a fantastic set up! Do what’s best for your family and yourself.
My parents don’t live together. They are still married and very happy with the arrangement. They do live on the same piece of property just different houses. My aunt and uncle very seldom lived together. He traveled for his job and would buy a house wherever it was he was working and when she decided to finally join him they sold the house she was residing in.
My mom and stepdad have been married for 20 years and they lived separately 7 hours apart because of a job for several years. She stayed to be close to grandchildren. It can work. Even if it is a bit strange.
My uncle had to be relocated to a different state in order to keep his job and my aunt stayed behind. She will be moving down with him and they seem to be doing pretty well.
Married couples should do what works for their partnership. Whatever that is shouldn’t be up for other people’s opinions and judgment.
It’s YOUR relationship. YOUR finances. YOUR family.
Unless you have a will and/or other legal docs stipulating differently your husband/wife is your next of kin. They inherit your assets and have a say over your shared children (if any). Their financial decisions affect you.
Make it work how it needs to for your situation. Otherwise divorce and work out something else. Marriage is not a piece of paper. It’s a legally binding agreement.
3 Likes
Always go with your husband. I can elaborate but not. Just ALWAYS go with your husband. 65 years of experience always doing the wrong thing.
Due to financial circumstances my husband and I live in separate houses with our respective moms and we only see each other over weekends, don’t like it but we make it work. What helps is we love and trust each other and stay in contact
Do what works for you two . who knows he may go and you could decide to follow later or he may come back,
It can work military families do it long haul truckers do it just stay true and committed to each other with modern technology no reason you can’t communicate daily Good luck on your journey
2 Likes
I say it doesn’t matter what everyone else does. Do what’s right for your family. If hes going and your not theres No harm in trying. Why end it to find out it could of worked. Good luck
My mom and step dad do this. My step dad travels back and forward for medical reasons and work and will stay in Texas more often than he will stay in Utah with my mom. He’s from Texas and my moms from Utah. It was challenging for them at first because he’s not good at communicating but the distance has made him open up more and they have learned a lot more about each other apart than they would have if he stayed in Utah
If its what is best for yall , dont worry about anything else. There are lots of people that have to work away for long periods and come home to see their family. Look at the military families. If you trust he will still be faithful to the family, go for it. Are you ready for this being alone? Because I will say this much ? I did it for 6 years. I saw him once a month for 2 days, in the summer more often. It’s hard. It will make you independent. It will change you and your marriage. But it can work married now 41 years.
1 Like
My father in law and his partner have been together for 20 + years and they have only been living together past 2 -3 years. They have a wonderful relationship it can be done xo
2 Likes
Whatever works for you, sometimes people need a break to see what life without each other is like, or sometimes they find someone else, and realize they were unhappy. It’s a crap shoot.
1 Like
Absolutely not! You will drift apart. I have been married 30 years, been together 31. My husband and I enjoy being together,doing things! Certainly don’t want to live apart. But each his own.
1 Like
If you are already having problems in the marriage it may actually help your marriage. It will make you both miss each other. It may show you both if you really love each other…plus when you meet up or see each other it will be like the beginning again.
It happens a lot more then you would think . I know a couple couples that this works really well for ! Good luck ! Set rules and boundaries you can both be happy with and you will both be happy !
Works for my mum & step dad. And I know a few couples where this is completely normal and works for them. You won’t know until u try x
I’ve done it for over 20 years. Education and industrial facilities didn’t show up on my doorstep.
It depends on the couple and the strength of the marriage!
Let me some thinking on this one. You have any children together? How long will he be away at a time? One more question, what’s his age.
People in the military have been doing that since the time of rock clubs. It can work but those that work practice"don’t ask, don’t tell."
I mean there is absolutely nothing wrong with married couples living apart. As long as you guys have a healthy relationship for the most part and you guys are in love and you trust one another, I honestly see no problem with it. In my opinion I, personally, some distance and taking a break not breaking up but just being a part is very healthy for a relationship and it will make it much stronger. Just as long as you guys support each other stay in contact often and don’t give each other any reason to be suspicious of anything going wrong, I think that it may be very healthy for your relationship/marriage
Why not?
If it works for you and you are happy, do what works for the both of you.
Ultimately what does marriage mean to you/ to him? What about love languages???
My dad and stepmom live in separate states than each other. I think that’s weird but i guess it works for them…lol
Do what works for you and long as you have the trust and you both are willing to make it work
NO having problems now just wait stepping stone to divorce in my opinion husbands and wives should support each other period
It depends…do you trust him around HOOCHIE MAMA’S? There is one in every town.
1 Like
Different strokes for different folks. Do what you think is BEST for your relationship.
Do whatever works best for you
He has already moved on
I once knew of a married couple that lived in side by side townhomes. They loved each other dearly and the marriage was on 20 yrs at the time. The kid slept at whoever’s house he felt like at the time LOL.
NO it’s very tempting out there.
If it works for the 2 of you then go for it. Time apart might do your marriage some good.
Different strokes for different folks, Fuck others opinions, as long as you’re ok w it!!
1 Like
No different then a over the road truck driver. Do what makes you both happy
Yes. And he just used it as an opportunity to cheat and not work on anything.
If the job is worth it and it’s only for a while then that’s okay. Mine used to travel for work and he’d be gone for weeks on end
Whatever works for you. It’s your relationship
Sounds like a blessing
1 Like
Yeah, I guess if you want a divorce
I personally don’t see anything wrong with living apart. Make sure you have rules and boundaries on both sides. It’s not like you’re not together so neither party should act single but if respectful boundaries can be held without problem then it could easily work
1 Like
Thats depend on your relationship. For i wouldnt separate too long. Never know your spouse might do something behind ypur back…so. My suggest if u have job and other state have same job you work with. Why not transfer job? It would be alot easier for you and your spouse.
I think living apart for a short term (1-3 years) can be done if the relationship is on a solid foundation. If things are not going so well I would say it might not be a good idea. I would advise to seek counseling by a friend that loves you both equally, your spiritual leader, or a skilled counselor.
20 years is a long time and marriage is worth fighting for. Don’t let it go by either of you being stubborn. You owe it to yourselves to fight for this relationship and to find happiness again.
2 Likes
As a military spouse, the first half of my marriage we spent it apart. Then he medically retired and worked pipeline. It’s possible. It’s all about what sacrifices you’re willing to make. But I’d never say be apart because you just don’t wanna move. The military chose where we lived for a decade and I made the absolute most of each duty station. It’s all about mentality.
It depends on your relationship. My fiance’s aunt and uncle live in separate houses (their kid “lives” with the mom) and it works for them. I couldnt do it, it wouldnt feel like the relationship was very serious unless I was living with the other person. I have a co-worker who is getting married in a few months and they have never ever lived together and they are buying a house together! So to me both is strange, lol
I don’t think it can work in the long run. I don’t see why you cannot go with him besides you just don’t want to? You may love the life there; I think you should move with them if you’re able to.
As long as all parties involved are safe, sane, consenting there is no right or wrong way to be in a relationship.
3 Likes
My dad and stepmom live apart for part of every month. He works in California and comes home every two weeks for two weeks
I’ve been in a relationship with my man for 6 years and couldn’t imagine living together. It works so well for us because I have our son at all times and he’s alot of work so having to support another human being besides myself and my son sounds like too much work with my already crappy mental health. That being said he does visit frequently and only lives 20 minutes away and is there for anything I need him for but takes care of his mom’s house most of the time. It works great for us because of my frame of mind that I’m better off without him living with me. If you think it will work try it. The worst that can happen is you decide you don’t like it and move back in together. Only you will know what really works for you but it is possible
Yes, I agree with whatever works for you’re marriage and perhaps distance make the heart grow fonder might apply.
But it doesn’t even sound like a happy, healthy marriage to start with. For someone to take a job and live somewhere else for an undetermined time could be prepping you for a divorce down the line. Not sure if finances will be effected but definitely worth the conversation unless the job is offsetting the cost. But there is emotional collateral too, doesn’t sound like the husband is very vested in that. Not sure if there are minor children involved too, that’s another aspect to consider. At the end of the day I think family and marital counseling is in order.
1 Like
No way!! Two different families could start. Either go with him or stay
Yes if you have a chainsaw snorer!!!
1 Like
Personally, I couldn’t do it
If it works for you and your marriage, yes. I personally couldn’t do it im way too jealous
What ever works for you and your husband
1 Like
In my opinion, whatever works for your marriage works for you. This is a personal choice for both of you.
6 Likes
It’s up to you two, not everyone else
2 Likes
Since you have stated that “things are not going so well”, it doesn’t appear that your marriage is strong enough to survive living apart. My opinion. Things just don’t get better if you are not together, making it work.
2 Likes
My boss lives in Southern California and her husband lives in Northern California. They visit each other every month by taking turns. They seem to make it work.
As a military spouse sometimes you don’t have an option. I have a potential to get an amazing job where we live now and my husband will have to move overseas for three years. We have a strong enough marriage that we’ve decided that will work for us and we will try to see each other as often as possible. The first two years before we were married we lived apart and saw each other every 2 to 4 months yes it’s hard but it’s not impossible
What are the rules to living apart since you will be basically single.it sounds bad but it’s only a piece of paper that hold you together. write down the pros and cons of why letting him go with out you is better than you going with him and take it from there.i wish you the best outcome for your situation.
You have to do what works for the two of you, screw what anybody thinks.
NO with a capital N. That’s not marriage, it’s a business arrangement. Don’t fall in to today’s “whatever feels good” rules.
Me? Married 50 years and to live a part for awhile is my dream.