Military families do it a lot… as long as you have Skype and contact with the kids and each other… it could make the heart grow fonder…
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It helped my husband and I when we were having problems.
Whatever works best for you guys. It shouldnt be a question for anyone else. Communication is key
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I’ve known a lot of families that do this and it works for them. Those that don’t will see it as crazy or knock the idea but that’s just because they couldn’t imagine anything outside what they know. Talk to him about it and discuss what you two think is best and how you want to go about things. It’s definitely manageable.
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My aunt and her husband dont live together. Never have.(this a second and new marriage)
I mean if that situation works for you.
My hubby worked away for a while, after 8 months of face time and seeing him once a month, we moved to be with him.
You have bigger problems than moving to solve first it sounds like … people do live apart. Actors & such. Some have that kind of relationship.
My daughter principal is from another state, about 5 hours away. He lives close to the school in an apartment Monday-Thursday then after school on Friday goes back home to his wife. I guess it just depends on your relationship and your feelings. Some can make it work 
Military families have lived apart. Lots of couples do it for job reasons.
Im sorry i dont support this if u wanna be with him u better go or end because it wont be long and one of you or both will be seeing someone on the side .
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Whatever works best for you. There’s no handbook on how things should go.
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My husband has worked out of state for 11 years. He works for 2 weeks and then home for 1 week. Its been fine for us and the kids do good.
my one neighbor actually does and hes a truck driver . but they did for specfic reasons they are different cities not far from each other she visits him when can
My husband and I are currently apart more often than together bc of his work. He is usually gone 1-3 months at a time before he comes home fore a week or 2. It seems to work for us right now. It’s definitely difficult though and you NEED to have excellent communication and trust with each other. It definitely poses new challenges to you as a couple that most others won’t understand. It’s difficult, but doable if you both work hard.
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A lot of our family members have done this (mostly for work reasons), and it worked out just fine… Me and my hubby though would probably never do it, but I don’t think it is wrong if you do 
My husband and I didn’t live together for 2 years due to many things, none of which was that we wanted to be apart. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
Soooo my coworker (60) just went through this… her husband got a job offer that was supposed to be temporary. He moved & she stayed. Things were fine…
The biggest thing is going to be communication.
This was where they had there downfall. He did not communicate his problems to her & ended up seeking out another woman to fill voids she wasn’t filling because she wasn’t there (& was unaware). So now they are currently getting a divorce.
This is only one person’s story & by no means means this will happen to you all. Just things to be aware of & to try to work towards preventing if possible. Good luck! 
Me for 11 years n i loved it!!
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No not a happy marriage or commitments to marriage together
I know some couples that live apart. Not cause of work but because it works better for them. They are married but have there own houses and spend time at each other’s house on the weekends. They do dinners and events together. Mind you these couples have been married many years and kids are grown. But they work well like that.
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I know a lady who her and her husband lives in different states and their happier that way. I support it in my opinion s those are the best relationships.
My best friend and her husband don’t live together between the two of them they have a bunch of teenagers and it’s just too stressful so they hang out on the weekends
My in laws did this quite a few times and they’ve been together for 30 years so I believe it’s possible 
My husband and I spend half a year a part roughly.
He has a cottage for the next 4 months and I am going to be moving 1.5 hours farther from him with the kids over the summer
You make it work
So actually when I first got married my husband and I were living separately. I was stuck in a lease in my house and for work he had to be an hour and a half away so it wasn’t reasonable for him to move in with me. We live together now but honestly I feel like it kinda made our relationship stronger and made us value our time together even more
It sounds like a pretty good idea actually. Military couples aren’t living together all the time and even if that’s not an entirely voluntary situation, I’ve met more military couples with stronger relationships than most. Plus you’ll value the time you do get together more, which is never a bad thing for a relationship. You always hear about people needing a break from their spouse every so often, taking vacations, and then coming back and things being much less stressful. I can only imagine that in a short term “living apart” situation, this may have the same effect.
I lived without my partner on and off for months at a time due to his traveling career. It helped absolutely nothing. I felt like I didn’t even have a partner 
Im sorry your going through this decision. I wish i had better advise. Theres alot involved. But do what it takes, unless your time together is bad feelings and pointing fingers. I was very surprised, at the happy i found in freedom. I just got lucky. Its not for everyone.you guys just built that beautiful home. I think that shows alot of commitment. But momma always said, if you give them enough rope they will hang themselves, so be careful. You will figure it out.
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Well my friends sister was having trouble in her marriage, but wasnt sure she should kick him out. So they (she) decided he should have his own room, and they get along pretty well. I once told an x i eoukd date him but not live w him. Its ok do whatever it takes. Just be happy. Dont worry what some might say. It saved her marriage, plus he quit drinking. And they all lived Hap, Well you know
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Married Couple may stay apart for various reasons like military, jobs in different states, visa issues, etc…but it depends on the two people involved…some long distance couple can do it with weekly/ monthly visits and they are ok ( communications and dedication needs to be very strong)…some just can’t handle the distance and end up getting permanently separated…it’s different for every couple… do whatever that would work out for you and keep you both happy…
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It’s common for military. I, personally, don’t mind it. We did for almost a year last year. Depends on the marriage really! And also depends how well y’all trust each other… that’s the kicker!
My advice though… don’t do when when there are a lot of well known problems!
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I work with a guy that doesn’t live with his wife. He rents an apartment here and she has her own house an hour away where she works. He goes home on the weekends. It seems to work for them.
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I say whatever works for YOU and your marriage, I think the importance is to understand expectations and such. My parents now married almost 30 year for about 10ish years did kind of that until they retired last year - my dad lived at their house full time where he had a job and my mom work and stayed with a friend Monday-Thursday then would drive home almost every weekend. It worked for them, it was kind of strange to me BUT as I have gotten older and am now married myself…I understand why you should just do what works for you guys.
If your marriage isn’t going well & ‘he wants to take this job & move away from us,’ I’d be on high alert. I understand the military families have to be apart, but that’s different & not a choice in most cases. My opinion is that he wants to split, but you don’t, but he’s leaving anyway. If he’s worth saving your marriage, I would go with him. If he says ‘no, I don’t want you to go,’ there’s your answer. If things aren’t going well, temptation can happen easily when you’re apart too long. I’m sorry this sounds harsh, but you can’t work on your relationship apart. And before anyone asks, we’ve been married 43 years, since we were very young. Marriage is never perfect, but we still love each other & have set a good example for our 2 grown daughters. Our family has always come first. That was always our goal. Consider your decisions carefully before you decide. You asked for advice, this is mine. Good luck to you both.
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It could work. I know ppl who just needed their own space. You never know until you try. You just have to be on top of things and communication is key!
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My landlord and his wife live a part for most of the year. She lives on Arizona and he lives on Ohio. Mainly bc of the weather changes they both disagree with the other state. He goes there during winter months to be with his wife and kids though. Then comes back to Ohio in April then leaves on October
I did this for a few years. We were only together on weekends and honestly I loved it and was sad when it was over. Funny thing was many women felt sorry for me except for women who were in similar situations who also loved it. I wasn’t ok with it beforehand but it was a blessing in disguise
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Oil field workers do it all the time. I have a friend who’s other half is gone for months at a time… he just took a job, out of state, with a 16 month contract and my Uncle used to work overseas and some of his contracts would be for years at a time, he would come home for 2 or 3 wks every 6 months tho. There are ways to make it work but you have to put in the effort to do so… both of you.
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Yep, my husband lives in another state Monday thru Friday, for over a year now (before that he traveled all over almost weekly) It’s hard and not for everyone. We don’t have children at home, if we did this would not work for me long term.
It was this or no job, so we are MAKING IT WORK!
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I have a friend that feels that living apart is essential and it’s working for her. I’ve begun to consider it myself too. However, I also know a lot of people that have been together for decades. You have to decide what’s best for you and why it’s best for the two of you, whatever it is.
I know ppl who live like that it doesnt always have to be for something bad. I plan to live like this but it same town. So yes it could work if both people want it bad enough. Goodluck
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Sounds like an ideal situation to me 
I mean it would depend on circumstances and why the marriage wasn’t going well, how trusting the relationship is and why you don’t want to go vs why he does. Also a well laid out plan on visits
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They say that absence can make the heart grow fonder. And people in military families live apart. But when you willingly choose a job over family or willingly choose to stay behind because you don’t want to move you are choosing other things over the person you made oaths to specifically not do that. That is a slippery slope you want nothing to do with. It is the first of many steps that will lead you away from each other and away from your marriage. Sure it might seem to work at first. Until temptation happens. The bonds of marriage and loyalty have already been loosened. Its another simple step away.
Do you you feel you need to, However you should resolve your issues now. Stay together, get divorced. If divorce is not what you want than someone needs to compromise or both of you do. That compromise However shouldn’t be distance. Best of luck. I’m praying for you.
Don’t look to others to make decisions on what’s best for you. Every situation is unique… you don’t have to justify anything. I say do it if it makes you happy or it works
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There’s no one way to a relationship that is healthy and strong for all. Try what you can, savor when it works and revisit when it doesn’t. Pray and have faith in him and yourself. Even broken bones grow back stronger, my dear.
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I would drop everything and go with my hubby. I couldn’t imagine him missing his daughter grow up and I would just miss him to much. Just my case.
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Whatever works for your marriage, every relationship is different. If you and him are ok with this, then do it up. If not, then you need to speak up now
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My great uncle and his wife live like that. He lived out on the ranch and she lived in town and worked at the co-op. They were married for over 40 years and had no issues children and everything
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Depends, sounds to me like it’s a marriage of convenience. It’s easier to stay together then say it’s over. If it’s that easy to want to live apart what do you really have?
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You do what works for you both.
If you are both happy with the situation then that’s ok, but if one of you finds that difficult then you need to find a answer that will keep you both happy.
My parents did this. Dad traveled for work and mom stayed home and raised us. He would come home 1 to 2x a month for a weekend. They’re both retired now and live together full time. They’ve been happily married for 45 years. It can work. You just have to want it to.
One of my kids teachers lived separate from her husband long term. They had also been married for many years. He took a job in Kansas and she stayed in Texas. She would go stay in KS on summer breaks and holidays and he would take his vacations throughout the school year to come stay here. It worked for them. Do what works for you and what will make you happy!
I know so many truly happy couples that have lived apart for years. They cherish the time they have and don’t take each other for granted
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My best friend and her husband live in different states and it works for them!
Try it out and see if it works for you both. My Aunt did this and was happy about it. It worked for them. But they were solid in their relationship. Spouses of military have to do this when the soldier is on deployment. As long as you both are agreeable to this arrangement, I think it can work. But it sounds like you two needs some therapy to talk through some of the issues that you have going on. Good luck
I found when I was in a long-term relationship it worked best to live apart. However I am not an easy person to live with as I very much enjoy my alone time… I think it’s totally an individual thing.
My dad and step mom don’t live together they haven’t lived in the same house in over 15 years they each own their own house and live their own lives and a few x a week hang out spend the night and things like that as well as sometimes if my dad isn’t working for a week they will stay at one of their houses for the week it’s honestly been the best thing for their marriage
My aunt and uncle live separately. They have had 2 houses for as long as I can remember. She is an engineer and he is inland game and fishery. They have seperate houses in NC but spend time with each other on weekends and such. They currently have 3 places. Their main house that they share. Her apartment near her work and his condo where he works. When they are together they are at the main house but sometimes they will slip to each others places if they got off work a few days early. They have been making this work for them for 20+ years.
My husband was in the military when we were first married and we spent plenty of time apart due to military obligations but that made our communication skills grow.
I personally wouldn’t. But I’m not a military spouse or anything like that that requires being separated. I’d be more concerned about his want to take the job, knowing he’ll be away from his family. A job is a job. But I wouldn’t want to ~choose~ to be away from my family; I’d really just hope my spouse would come along. If not, I would decline the job offer. 
My husband got offered a job making twice what his current job paid, but it was 700 miles away. My family is here, my son is buried here, so we decided that he would take the job. His employer is very good about him coming home every two weeks (at their expense…it’s what he asked for when he took the job). We’ve been doing this for almost 8 years. We appreciate.our time together SO much more now It’s not for everyone, but it works for us.
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In my opinion, there’s no point in being married if we don’t share our home and life together. That’s one of the reasons I married him in the first place, because I want to be with him. Couples have to do what works for them. Every relationship is different but I would not be okay with this scenario.
My husband travels a lot on business. As much as I love him, it really nice to have your own space periodically.
To each is their own. Whatever works for you 
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Idk the way I see it it’s gonna create distance between you guys and when there’s distance, they usually find comfort in someone else. Just saying, married or not men tend to think with the wrong head at times.
I hope whatever you decide ultimately works out for the best.
Honestly, I’ve seen a few relationships in my life like this and they were the better ones ironically😅 my grandma had gotten a condo and my grandfather lived in their house still. They couldn’t stand living with each other any more. Still spent every weekend together, every family function or daily tasks together. She eventually moved back in whenever he got sick and took care of him. I have an uncle who took long job postings in the oil field where he’d been away for sometimes years. Still happily married, and it’s crazy that the rest of the family is divorced🥴
Is it a better opportunity for him? I guess, I would also look at it from a his perspective as well. Do you work? Would is be easier for a transfer? I know some people get very comfortable with their living situation and don’t want to leave out of fear because of something new. I guess we don’t know the unknown if we don’t try.
I don’t see anything wrong with it. As long as the trust is there and mutual, and both sides remain committed - enjoy your quiet(ish) time!
We aren’t married, but my spouse and I have been together over 5 years. 3 of those were long-distance (Dallas/Chicago). He now lives with me but often takes trips back home.
We both love our alone time, so it’s what works for us based on our needs!
I took a job that has me living 3 hrs away from my husband, we see each other every weekend, it’s wonderful, we have been married 26 years and each weekend is like a special day
years ago a man from Kentucky was working in Indiana a man said how it working living apart he said oh momma sell a little and I buy a little got to have a laugh this is serious but need to go where the money at!!!
My husband and I have been married almost 3 years and have never lived together. He lives an hour and a half away because thats where his job is and the commute is too far, so he isnt oyt of state, but it was worked great for us so far. We see each other once a week, sometimes twice, and still miss each other in between. There are some challenges, especially if you are the clingy type (i am very independent and fine with this setup) but overall keeps things interesting,and us out of each others hair. Every week we have date night. I have my free time and so does he. It cant be done without a lot of trust, but it works well for us!
You should not have your own places unless you want to increase the likelihood of him finding another woman to take your place in his life.
Some married couples live apart so to speak. I was a truckers wife for 16 years. And in the latter part of our marriage he was gone a month and a half at a time and things started getting Rocky for me. And after so long I couldn’t handle it anymore. Now we are divorced but doing the co parenting thing and both are happier!!
You need to do what works best for your situation, but the doubt in your message makes me feel that it’s not what you want emotionally and that’s what is most important. I’ve been with my husband since we were 18 (31 years) and I never want to live a day away from him. I need him in my daily life and he feels the same. I think your situation would work short term and then one of you at least would feel you made a mistake. Best wishes on whatever you decide.
My husband will be moving 3 hours from me in a month. The whole year of 2018 he lived in a different state from me. He’s military. I came back home so I could finish school and have my family nearby. A year later he was finally able to get stationed in our city, but it was definitely a gamble on our part not knowing if he’d ever be able to get here. Now he’s moving again and I’m staying behind to have our baby with my midwife and because he may likely be moving again in a year. I don’t want the kids to have to switch schools again. I would not even consider it, though, if my marriage was on the rocks. I’m 100% trustworthy of my husband and vice versa. There are no issues between us other than the typical marital quibbles. Lol
It can and often works- many careers take spouses far from each other… my parents who have been married 40 years this year did it for three years…
My husband and I live in different States, he lives in CA making good money, I live in AZ until my son graduates high school next year, My son is by my ex husband, we will be married 13 years in August,.
Me and my husband lived apart for two years. I had the boys with me. We visited with each other when it was possible.
I think other people’s opinions don’t really matter here. It is your private life. If it works for you, and both partners are happy in that arrangement, then great. If there are underlying problems in the relationship, or concerns that this will end the relationship, then discuss the deeper concerns and decide whether to continue together. No one, especially from a vague book posting is going to know all the nuances that go into this for your relationship.
My sister and her husband live in same city in different houses. Works for them. Married over 10 years.
Honestly it doesn’t really matter what other people do or think. It’s your marriage and you’re the one who has to make the decision. Ultimately it will either work itself out or it won’t. But what may work for some may not be what works for you.
2 of my uncle’s live in California most of the year while the their families live in the other side of the continent
Sometimes it makes everything work better. Some couples and people just work better like that
I would not live apart from husband and he is wonderful.it opens the door for temptation. Each of their own
My own personal opinion is that this makes it way too easy to eventually just call it quits, because you said things are rocky as it is.
Why not!? Do what works for you and yours and don’t feel confined to do what is traditionally the norm.
Ok many people have this issue for other reasons then a just for a job… examples… military, prison, parent being sick, and of course jobs. Now to me, my questions are… 1. Do you guys have a plan for visiting each other?. 2. Would you be willing to move in the next 1-5 years if things improve? .3. what are the factors now that are making things "not so good* and be honest with yourself, would.moving with him help or make those worse? … you need to look with in your self, life, and relationship to see if this is a temporary bump with “things not so good” or something way bigger where your staying to get her so you don’t have to say it didn’t work
My husband worked in Idaho and I worked in SLC Utah one weekend I would go there and the next weekend he would come home.
If you’re not living together on purpose…you ARE separated.
If things are going well then living apart may be a good idea. But if things are not going well I would not do it. That is how marriages drown to affairs.
It’s more common than you think. It interests me. I very much love my own space and it doesn’t suit me to be with my partner everyday. Space can also do wonders for a relationship.
My grandma didn’t live with her last husband very much. And when they all (grandma, grandpa, great grandma) moved to Montana they slept in separate rooms. It was her longest marriage, out of 5 I think.
I’m concerned because you say it is already not going well. This seems like it would further strain the relationship. Have you explored why you don’t want to move with him?
It’s for the married couple to decide. Only you two know the answer. That’s tough!
I personally would not want that at all, I would never agree to that. After time, then what… what if he loves the job and the area and you still do not want to move? Is the goal to see how the job pans out and you’ll move at a later date - if not, and the job isn’t supposed to be temporary, I just don’t see how that would work and still be married. 
But it sounds like he’s willing to walk away from you and the family. That’s concerning.
Will it strengthen your relationship? It it a positive thing on all levels for both of you and the family involved?
Yes, live separately or at least keep your own spot.
no, that’s called stretching out the divorce
I know a married couple. One lives in Arkansas. One lives in Washington state. They make it work. I guess anything is possible.
I’ve had friends successfully do this. Hubby and I did this briefly. Would have been longer of we had successful downsized our home. The kids wanted to stay in the town we were living in but couldn’t afford the home we had and an apartment for hubby somewhere else. Eventually we bought a home at hubby new location and the company sold our house for us.
If we could have found a decent home for the girls and I we would have stayed.