QUESTION:
"My boyfriend and I moved into the house that he owns after his ex-wife and their kids moved out and to Louisiana....she left pictures of him and her and their kids on the wall....left all kinds of other small things too.....he hasn't taken them down, and even a good friend of his told him he should because its unfair to me to see that every day when I and my kids live here too.....what should I do...."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
"I would create a framed picture collage wall and make sure everyone (yours, mine and ours) is represented."
"Don't do anything. Those kids are his and hers and the most important thing is that the kids are happy and they see happy pics of their family. Now that you are part if that family, put up pictures of you and him and your kids as well. If you can't love and respect all aspects of his kids life, including their mother, then you shouldn't be with him. If the kids go there and see pics of their mother cut out or memories of past times with their parents gone off the walls they will grow to resent you. A family works together if everyone involved can be respectful and understanding that it's for them not you."
"Put yours up too. You can’t erase his past and shouldn’t want to. Those are his kids and someone he was married to. He’s married to you now, be secure in that."
"I agree with everyone. Pics of kids leave up and add some of you guys. Pics with her either move to kids room or put away for the kids. Don't be drastic and throw them out. And redecorate! I would feel more comfortable in a home I picked out stuff for rather than what she picked out and left."
"Those pictures are what he has left of his kids. He wants to see them everyday. Don’t try to take away his past. He’s not with her, he’s with you."
"My kids have the photos of me and their dad hanging in their room. My husband has never had a problem with it, that's their dad no matter what happened between the two of us."
"I would take the pictures of the ex and put them in the kid's rooms (that's their mom). I would replace the one's in the common area of all of you."
"Honestly, I say leave them. Or at least some of them. His kids are going through a transition and it is healthy for them to see family photos. Even if he’s not with his ex any more, they are still their parents."
"Absolutely not. They are still his family, may they be together or not. All you need to do is add more pictures with you all included. It’s petty."
"I've been with my partner nearly 10 years we have 5 kids he still has pictures & albums of his ex & their kids cards letters etc from them he also still has her name tattooed on his chest & its not an issue to me I understand he had a life before me & that no matter what she will always be 1 of his greatest loves & they have just as much of a history & life together in the past as we have now."
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