Should My Boyfriend Remove the Photos of His Ex-Wife And Kids From His House?

Relationships
1

2560×1707 328 KB

QUESTION:

"My boyfriend and I moved into the house that he owns after his ex-wife and their kids moved out and to Louisiana....she left pictures of him and her and their kids on the wall....left all kinds of other small things too.....he hasn't taken them down, and even a good friend of his told him he should because its unfair to me to see that every day when I and my kids live here too.....what should I do...."

RELATED QUESTION: Britney Spears’ Conservator Shuts Down Jamie Spears’ Claim That She’s Caused Singer’s ‘Difficulties and Suffering’

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

2560×1440 215 KB

"I would create a framed picture collage wall and make sure everyone (yours, mine and ours) is represented."

"Don't do anything. Those kids are his and hers and the most important thing is that the kids are happy and they see happy pics of their family. Now that you are part if that family, put up pictures of you and him and your kids as well. If you can't love and respect all aspects of his kids life, including their mother, then you shouldn't be with him. If the kids go there and see pics of their mother cut out or memories of past times with their parents gone off the walls they will grow to resent you. A family works together if everyone involved can be respectful and understanding that it's for them not you."

"Put yours up too. You can’t erase his past and shouldn’t want to. Those are his kids and someone he was married to. He’s married to you now, be secure in that."

"I agree with everyone. Pics of kids leave up and add some of you guys. Pics with her either move to kids room or put away for the kids. Don't be drastic and throw them out. And redecorate! I would feel more comfortable in a home I picked out stuff for rather than what she picked out and left."

"Those pictures are what he has left of his kids. He wants to see them everyday. Don’t try to take away his past. He’s not with her, he’s with you."

"My kids have the photos of me and their dad hanging in their room. My husband has never had a problem with it, that's their dad no matter what happened between the two of us."

"I would take the pictures of the ex and put them in the kid's rooms (that's their mom). I would replace the one's in the common area of all of you."

"Honestly, I say leave them. Or at least some of them. His kids are going through a transition and it is healthy for them to see family photos. Even if he’s not with his ex any more, they are still their parents."

"Absolutely not. They are still his family, may they be together or not. All you need to do is add more pictures with you all included. It’s petty."

"I've been with my partner nearly 10 years we have 5 kids he still has pictures & albums of his ex & their kids cards letters etc from them he also still has her name tattooed on his chest & its not an issue to me I understand he had a life before me & that no matter what she will always be 1 of his greatest loves & they have just as much of a history & life together in the past as we have now."

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!

READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

2

I think it’s acceptable to have pics of his kids throughout the house, along with yours. And pictures of his kids with their bio parents in rooms they’ll be sleeping in. Obviously, something that should of been discussed before you moved in. Because if he hasn’t taken down pictures of her yet, he hasn’t moved on or let go.

3

Well…I will go off in a different direction here. I dated a man who was married for 30 years. I found out that it was WAY more than pictures. It was a way for him to hang on to something that was gone. I spent five years trying to be the bigger person and even went to counseling to understand that they had decades together and I should understand that and be supportive. Fast forward to finding emails open on MY computer to her telling her that he wanted his family back. End of story. Buyer beware.

4

I say talk to him about it see how he feels. You aren’t married yet and you already feel insecure are you sure you are actually ready for a relationship with a man who has a family. He spent years with her, had children with her not all the years were bad. Before talking to others or broadcasting it on social media talk to him be a grown up

5

I have been married for 7 years and helped raise 2 stepsons. I invited the mom to the youngest son’s 13th bday party. I hung pictures of my husband family on one side of the wall and hung my family on the other side, a door divides them. I have the ex wife, my mom n law, husband and kids on his side. My side has my parents, kids and gkids. I wanted my step sons to still be able to see their mom in pics. She’s not been in their life much since they were about 5 & 7. I am an adult and want the family to be happy. The ex left my husband after 24 years and he really loved her alot. She was a part of his life and kids life. My ex tried to kill me and I still care about him only because he is my children’s father and gkids grandpa but I don’t let him near me. I don’t see a problem with the ex being in a picture. He may still have feelings For her but that’s understandable. Whose bed does he sleep in yours or the ex’s? To many people are mean, jealous and hate each other after divorces. For the sake of children you should try to be civil and get along. The world would be a much better place. Try to work together to raise the children. It sucks for children to have 2 families instead of one. Seeing hate is not good. Leave the pictures!

6

Grow up. Those are his KIDS and their mother.