Should my child be around when my dog crosses the rainbow bridge?

So young bit they do understand what death is even if they never seen it before

This is a personal decision. It all depends if you shy your child from death…. But, if it eases your mind you should definitely speak with your child.

This is a tough one in one way no they shouldn’t because their innocence is so short they shouldn’t have to feel this type of pain but then there’s the other part which is empathy and as sad as it is sometimes you need a child to see this I raised four kids I truly believe with the fourth one I allowed him to see my emotions and animals that we’re going to be put down even though he wasn’t present and I think that he is more empathetic than any of them

Maybe only to say goodbye but have him wait outside when it’s happening. It’s a very difficult and emotional situation to put a child in, even for adults.

My son is 5 and when his dog was poisoned he sat on the porch with her comforting her as she took her last breaths, just petting her and telling her how good of a puppy she was. It broke my heart but he knows that she got sick and wasn’t gonna make it.

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Js my nephew is 9 an his dog just got hit by a car or truck just monday. Some kids are different though

Of course…
Death is part of living

I wouldn’t want my children anywhere else. They love my dogs as much as we do and they should get the chance to say goodbye too.

Absolutely provide the opportunity for the child to be present and the opportunity to safely remove themselves from the euthanasia if the process becomes overwhelming.
Do some pre procedure foot work by explaining the reason for the euthanasia. Stick to objective observable facts. Please do not use the phrase “putting them to sleep” or anything that relates to sleep. Kids are concrete and being put to “sleep” to never wake up can be terrifying. In addition the phrase is simply a lie, be honest about death. Let the child grieve as the child grieves. Some kids sob some kids simply shrug it off and be prepared to listen and answer questions about the existential stuff that kids bring up. I believe a ritual that is congruent with the family belief system is important as well as a paw print, and/or lock of fur and even the cremation remains is helpful in providing the sense that a permanent change has occurred and provides closure.
Pets certainly auger their way into the soul of the family and become an important part of the family support system, losing the pet is often very difficult.
Our kids have been present with all our pets euthanasias and we let them lead the post process ritual as they can.
Our kids are children of a Veterinarian and mental heath therapist.
Kids grief is painful and yet honest and authentic and magical.

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I don’t really have advice. That’s a tough one but I am so sorry you are losing your fur baby.

Absolutely. This is a family pet. What way would your fur baby rather go, than with all his family?

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Ask him if he wants to

My daughter has unfortunately been around death so much (she’s 12 now) but I agree it’s apart of life just explain what’s happening. They will probably be upset but again just explain that it happens

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So… we had my old dog pass away here at home before we got him to the vet. After his passing we discussed death, pet illness and aging pets with our then 5 year old. It was a sad discussion but they understood it.
A few months later, because of severe illness we also had to put down my cat last year and my kid was with me when we put her down. I think it makes it easier on them and I find it’s made it so they can process grief and it helped them understand why I was sad for a while.
Also, book references are great. There a book called “The Invisible String”, we bought that and read it a few times, it helped us both.

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I guess it depends on how well your child takes things…

When I was younger, I was in the room when 2 of my dogs died of old age. One was when I was 3 and she chose to lay down next to me as I was sitting in the kitchen (I was too young to understand what happened until my parents said something) and the other passed as my mom and I were cleaning him up in the kitchen. He was a stray we found the night the other passed away when I was 3. He was also sick and had severe mobility issues towards the end. I just remember my parents tried getting the humane society’s help to put him down, but they didn’t for some odd reason (I don’t know why. What went on is what went on, unfortunately).

Did it hurt when it happened? Yeah, but at the same time I’m happy that I was there so they weren’t alone even they crossed over.

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Talk to her about it.

My child was 5 the first time we lost a dog. She asked questions but she handled it well

I believe it’s a good time to talk about the circle of life

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Give him the option.

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Let him say goodbye and be with the family pet if he wants to. It’s a part of life.

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Yes if he doesn’t get to say good bye he will resent you when he’s older

YES! Absolutely. Death can be a scary thing for a young child and we often make it worse by trying to explain it. Let him experience it. It’s part of life and it will help prepare him for when he suffers a human loss.

My daughter was 5 when my husband and I had to make the choice to help our family dog cross the rainbow bridge. We explained to her what was going to happen and how and we let her decide if she wanted to there during the procedure or not. She didn’t want to go to the vet, but we were able to bring our Princess home to bury her and our daughter wanted to there when we did that. Just talk to the child and explain what is going to happen and let them decide. And if they are in the room when the time comes let them know it’s ok to be upset and cry and let them know if they need to step out of the room that’s ok too. Just be up front about everything and answer their questions.

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I was 23 years old when. I lost my bestfriend.

It wasn’t good.
She couldn’t get up. She was so weak. I was crying my mom was crying. She told me to go to work and she would take care of her.

Kept everything normal. She came to the farm after to tell me she was buried in the back yard.

It was the right thing to do. Keep things as normal as you can. It’s traumatic enough. Don’t make them witness that. They will never get it out of their heads.

Depends on age of child and majority

I have never had my kids with me when putting down a dog or cat. I don’t want them to remember that. But we do live on a farm and they have seen death of an animal and understand it. But thats just me. I know when my sons dog passes it will be too traumatic for him to handle.

My 8 and 6 year old were there when we took our 9 year old girl down. They grew up together and wanted to be there. They handled it very well and I’m glad I allowed it.

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Ask your child what he wants.

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Yes. Please involve your child if they want to be.

I would…He may be upset he didn’t get to say bye I know he’ll be upset either way its a very heartbreaking experience but I would personally…

Then death of a pet is good “practice” for when a grandparent or other loved one passes.

Yes. If they wish to be. Death is a part of life. My children have been present for many of our animals passings. Its helps them understand and learn to grieve. My children now have an understanding of death. And are not afraid to show their feelings when someone dies.

Absolutely they should be, and please know euthanasia is a peaceful process, ask the vet to explain the process to them so they understand what is about to happen, let your little one grieve with you. I dont think death is something we should shelter from our kids obviously we need to explain it to them in a way they understand but it is a part of life and i think learning that from a young age helps them come to terms with things as they get older as they can process those emotions, i had my 3.5 year old with us when we put our cat to sleep and allowed her to ask questions and say goodbye and we sat with him for a while after he was gone, im not a religious person but i like to believe in some sort of after life and told her our kitty had gone live with our loved ones in heaven and he will be warm and safe and loved with them she had a bit of a cry with us and was sad but understood he was sick and we had to let him go

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Yes. I didn’t get to be there with my doggy and it broke my heart. My mom kept me away while it happened and it broke my heart.

Ask your kid. Talk to them about what’s going on and ask them if they want to be there or if they’d rather just say goodbye beforehand and stay home and that you support and are there for them no matter what they decide to do

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should my child be around when my dog crosses the rainbow bridge? - Mamas Uncut

Give him the opportunity to say goodbye. He does need to understand that he will not see the dog again. He may or may not want to be there but should say his farewells so he knows it’s final. Will be tough for everyone. The dog is family. Loved by all. Best wishes :heart:

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I’m taking the cowards way out. I’m not going to say what’s best for your family. For us, our vet gives the dog a calming shot, we say our goodbyes. Then he puts the dog to forever sleep. My sister has them come to her house to put her dog to sleep. Whatever course you choose it’s painful. Thou I believe there are dogs in heaven the separation is hard. Sorry for your situation.

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My daughter was in 4th grade when our dog was suddenly diagnosed with aggressive bone cancer. I had a long talk with her about it, and she asked to be with him when it happened. It was a sudden decline, so I stopped and got her out of school early to go with me. She held him the whole time and was able to process letting go in her own way.

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Sure. When my kitty passed away my siblings were there and watched him be hit. I think kids at a young age may not understand but that’s okay and it’s a part of life

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Yes it would be the only right way.make sure you explain to him all doggies goes to heaven, and will live on with the Lord ,and all other doggie friends .children should be taught this ,to understand there is life after death.Sorry for you furbie best loyal doggie God Bless.

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It is a sad responsibility. I think it depends on your 8 yr old and his/her maturity and sensitivity. We had a cat who died suddenly while my son was at a school event. We put her in a nice box and texted his coach to let him know we were coming. Our son had a chance to pet her and process the situation instead of coming home to a missing cat. He didn’t go with us when we had to put the dog down, but we gave him the chance to say goodbye and he chose to stay home. As hard as it was, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss being there and petting her, talking gently to her as she left us. I can’t tell you what to do with your child. It really depends on the child. And you are the best judge of what your child can and cannot handle.

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Yes! This is a precious moment in which you can teach your child compassion and the beauty of dying surrounded by loved ones. I once saw a movie where a young boy was left orphaned and was sent by bus to live with relatives. On the trip he was lamenting that his father didn’t teach him how to deal with death, “Heck we didn’t even have a pet”. We learn from our experiences how to cope. Showing your child how to lovingly say goodbye to a pet will model how he can navigate the inevitable loss of loved ones in the future.

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It’s everyone’s choice what they do but my mother in laws dog didn’t go very peacefully and was a very traumatic experience to watch .

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Yes! My parents and grandparents let us be around when I was little. It helped me understand the circle of life. The kids need the chance to say goodbye! They need to experience grief and have the support of you to guide them through it!

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My husband is a priest. We wanted our children to see that death is a part of life and not to be feared. From the time they were little, they went to funerals of people in our parish. You need to remove the fear from what is a natural process. So yes, let your child be involved and say a good goodbye.

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My daughter always insisted…it makes her feel better seeing the pain go from her fur baby

8 is a tender age and all kids are different. At that age I think it would have personally been really traumatic for me, I was a very sensitive kid and seeing any dead animal made me completely inconsolable. I think it would be okay to explain what will happen and ask the child if they would like to be there. You know your kid best though.

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My young granddaughter was with our dog at the end. She watched as we made this life long friend of hers comfortable, showing her the love we had all these years. It helped my granddaughter in the grieving process.

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I know that when my family had our dog put down when I was around 15, they did it without me. She would get bad and we would think it was her time, then she would get better so we, of course delayed it. I think that happened so many times that my parents did it when I was at school when they saw she was really bad. I was so upset, but now as an adult I can understand that her needs should have been put before my own selfish desire to be with her.

I would say that it really depends on what your child knows of death and passing on. If they are aware of it and can see that she is struggling with her health, then sure. If not then that is something different. There is no true right or wrong about this, you would just have to judge how emotionally capable your child is to handle this type of situation.

You can’t be wrong in your decision.

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It depends on the child. when we had to put our baby to sleep we took him home for the weekend and explained to our kids what was going to happen and why. We pampered him and let the kids tell him goodbye. We took him to the vet clinic to be put to sleep without the kids. I wanted them to remember the good times and not the that day.

Its everyone’s personal choice. I think I would have the dog put to sleep and then tell her the dog went to Heaven.

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Yes, my parents did not let me be present when they put our dog down. Not being present was worse than losing the dog.

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We have our fur babies put down in our home with all family members and friends who loved them present. The room is filled with a mix of love and loss. Our children have a wonderful outlook on death. Its just a natural part of life. They get to say goodbye and we all tell stories of our time with our fur babies. The vet who provides this service also takes our babies out on a stetcher and since we have them cremated, they are returned to us in a urn. I had one fur baby put down decades ago when you had to take them to a vet. The bright light and strange surrounds had my baby so scared and they wouldn’t let me stay with him. It will haunt me forever.

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I was in Florida when the first cat I was old enough to really make a connection with, had to be put down. He either had a seizure or a stroke, while going down the stairs. I was about 8-10. I wish I could have said goodbye to him, and it really tore me up. Especially when I came home, and found out my ginea pig had died the same day, because my brother forgot to turn the AC on, and died of heatstroke. They didn’t tell me about that, until I got home. Both of those losses, without saying goodbye, really had an effect on me. I have been there for two animals, as they were put down, and I believe it made the grieving process easier, being there for them.

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Yes. When my moma dog passed her babies wouldn’t eat for the 3 days she was at the vets . When I brought her home I let her babies see her a sniff her so they would know she passed an they started eating an all was good. They were 2 yr, old

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I went to the vets with my dad when some of our cats had to be put down, even though it was obviously extremely sad, now I’m older I’m actually really glad I did it. It gave me a chance to say goodbye properly and feel the purr one last time

it depends on your child’s temperament and anxieties or other conditions (if any). My 16 year old lost her mind when we had to put our dog down after he started having terrible seizures at 14 years old. She is very emotional and has bad anxiety. Just make the choice that you think is best for your family and your child’s temperament. If you decide to have them there, explain the process first so they know what to expect.

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Absolutely. Your son and your dog have formed a bond that cannot be broken and your son should have the chance to say goodbye to his best friend and show his love to the dog right up to the very end.

When it’s time and you have made the appointment, try to have an adult conversation about what’s happening, why, and why euthanasia is the route you’re taking. Then you just leave it up to them and support whatever decision they make. My opinion is that the family should be with their pet when they are being put down, it’s considerate for the animals. Family being their last comfort is what any pet deserves.

our family dog passed away this past December. My daughter was 11, I asked her if she wanted to come with us to put our dog down. I explained what will happen and how it will happen. She decided to go. She got to give Lovings to our dog and pet her while she passed. :heart:

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Let him say goodbye without him knowing it’s the last time he will be seeing the dog…my dogs death still comes back as painful childhood memory for me…period…

We gave my 11 year old great grandson the choice with my dog that he was very close to and he chose to say good bye at home and not go with us. I say explain to her about the Rainbow Bridge and give her a choice. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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When we had to put our 5 day old kitty down the vet let us all have time with him. My 13 yr old was so devistated. I had never heard him cry the way he did that day.

I think so depending on how you think your child would handle it. But it is important to let them know that death is apart of life and let them cry and feel feelings associated with death. My dog passed away earlier this year right after my girls 3rd birthday. Unfortunately she was hit by a car and my girl saw it happen. My daughter came to understand that our dog had to go to heaven and gave her hugs and kisses until she passed on. She still gets sad about it sometimes and I just tell her that death is apart of life and how happy our dog is up in heaven.

Yes I believe it will help your child with the grieving process and to be able to understand it I would be truthful

Of course your child should be there. To be able to say goodbye and for comforting. Children need to learn how to grieve.

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I believe it is better for that age child to be present. Death is part of life. Your child needs to grieve. It helped my daughter to be present.

I feel that kids should be present so they can say goodbye too. It’s part of life that they need to experience in order to learn the process and the grieving. If you want a well adjusted child I would let them be there.

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Yes! Excellent teaching time for grief, understanding, and acceptance. Good family opportunity to share sad things, but realizing its all about love.

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Most definitely. They shared in the dogs life, they need to say goodbye, know it’s not something scary. Feel the love, sadness and grief, learn how to move through those feelings. Good luck.

I think that death is extremely emotional for mothers fathers sisters brothers pet owners anyone. I agree with the lady who said that she let her children watch the vet give the dog a calming shot and then during that calm period while the dog is still alive let them hold him and rub him and pet him and kiss him and say goodbye right there and whenever they’re going to do the shot to put them to sleep for good, they should be not in the room because with all the crying and all the tears and all the sadness I think that it may be very traumatic on a small child and it also could make them fearful of death. So I believe no, they should not be there for the final injection only just for the sedation injection and Say Goodbye then.

Absolutely he is old enough .He also has to say his good byes to his little furry buddy.

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Having been a pet owner all my life, I allowed my children the option and let them make the decision. Nobody has taken me up on it yet. They are now 21 and 18. I have been there for all of my pets whenever it was possible.
It’s a personal choice for you and your children, you know them best.
It is tough to have them just disappear and children not understand where they went and that is why I was always very honest with my kids. Good luck.

I’m going through a hard time now.my dog is 14yrs old and has been in alot of pain.i can’t afford for the vet to come to my home to help my dog go to heaven.nor the money to take him to be put to sleep eighter.im worried that he is just holding on because of me…

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Our children 7-10 have always been around when our fur babies pass , we explain that it stops the pain they are in and they all understand that , so depend on your child’s age and how much you talk about it , sorry for all of this , we know how hard it is

For me… the answer is no. They will understand that the pet has passed. And will be sad enough. But what is the pt for them to observe it being done? Sad things in life happen soon enough… let them be little and a bit ignorant of the process… for now. Too me… it’s just too much too soon. Just my personal belief… I’m not saying others can’t have their opinion as well. So no bullying please​:blush::paw_prints:

Have always had the vet come to the house when we say goodbye . Less traumatic for your fur baby and you.

Good time to teach about dealth, and your beliefs… by his age…. My 4 year old granddaughter’s fish died, months later her lizard, we explained what a happy place Heaven, is…… she knows they are ok!

Yes if the child is of age to understand. My 8 year old daughter was not there for loss of dog at grandmas who she was extremely attached the processing of that loss was horrific 6 mo later our dog passed … she came with and was able to process the loss much healthier

Yes they need to say goodbye just like like we do, maybe even more then us adults. They are such receptive little people they mày even help you get through it. Kids are so logical.

I was about the same age when our Wolfie had to be put to sleep. If I had been denied the chance to say my last goodbyes I would never have got over it.
Be honest, be truthful, I’m glad my dad was straight with me, I have always appreciated his honesty.

Explain and ask them. My daughters were 20 and 14 and we let them make the choice. They said good bye and opted out. We respected that.

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Depends on the age but your children definitely need to be involved in some way if you can’t let them be there at that point. Closure is important in all ages And if they were involved in the life of and love fur- babies then it is all part of it.

The loss of a pet is often a child’s first time dealing with death/grief. I think it would be beneficial.

Tenderly recall memories, look at pictures, explain the situation and procedures. Then let the child decide. Be available to talk about it after. Give lots of love and support.

Depends on how the child will react during the process. It wouldn’t be good for any animal to be stressed in their last moments.

My son was and he was a) incredible b) insisted on being there. Ask the child. They will know.

Yes… he will grieve regardless and he needs to say goodbye and understand all dogs go to heaven and how much better off he will be once he gets there

Yes, dealing with the passing of a pet is an important lesson of life. 8 is a perfect age for a child to learn about death and the rituals your family holds when handling the passing of a loved one.

Think its a good age to learn about death and to understand your beloved pet is going to a better place. Just make sure their is understanding about why it’s happening

Was your dog part of the family? Did your child love the dog? Use this as a means of teaching respect and about goodbye. Include the child.

while its very sad the actual “putting to sleep” part is quiet and gentle…i dont think it would traumatise the children, but you need to really explain what is happening i guess

Umm this is tough.
By the time each of my kids were 8 they knew what death meant. Sadly.
If your sweet one does not, you will need to sit and have this talk. If they do. Allow them to decide. If its a no mom I dont want to. Leave it. Just let them know that pup is leaving and wont be here.
Understand this may be harder on you.
Address the fact in their Time we can go and Adopt a new friend. Not yours.
Rainbow Bridge is not something Im ok with. But you do you there.
This whole thing will be how your child feels. But have the talk about pup is not doing well and what is happening.
Its all about your faith as well.
My thing is. Mommy when I die do I go to Rainbow Ridge too? Thats my umm best not hit that one.

I think he’s 8. Old enough to talk to and explain, leaving the final decision , his wishes. If he wants to be present when his precious pet goes to the other side, he should have that choice. If he doesn’t think he wants to ,he will tell you that also.

Yes my son’s dog went missing 2 years ago and my 2 grandkids wants me to stop at every black dog they see so please give him closure on his baby

I wished I could have said good bye and given one last hug before she died. Instead Mom took her to the Vet during the school day and she was put down - she was very sick.

I resented my mom for not letting me be there when I was young. It depends entirely on the kid

I want to say yes your kiddo should be there. Especially if this dog has been part of his life for years. It will mean alot and help with the confusion on why the dog isn’t coming home.

It depends on the child. I think kids need to be exposed to an end of life scenario to better prepare for the loss of a loved one later.