The father should be providing any necessities while the child is visiting him. Mom shouldn’t have to provide food! Any clothing the child goes with should be coming back home with the child.
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I would stop visits and get someone with more authority involved, my son had impetigo as an infant and now his face is scarred and breaks out of he even gets a runny nose, and the lice can spread to your home so easily if your not careful… I hope things work out for you 
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KEEP THEM AWAY. If he can’t or won’t get things they need then he shouldn’t be seeing them. And if you want them to see him definitely DEFINITELY get a supervisor to watch
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The only thing I send with my child is clothing. His dad provides everything else for him
As far as the environment I would try to talk to him one on one with his partner there . Let him know of the concerns and if they are not taken care tell him that other people( dhs, lawyers) will be getting involved to see what the next step should be
My sons dad never returns clothes and i have to take photos of what ive sent and have to go through the bag before he comes home. I made him get a booster or car seat for when he was younger. My son refuses to bring things there because his dad tries to keep it for his step kids
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Yes he should have things set up for children but electronics are expensive and if its a game console phones tablet ect its ridiculous to not share back and forth as for lice it can come from anywhere friends school buses anywhere buggers are hard to get rid of and doesn’t indicate either house hold is the (dirty) one if you cant work out a lice problem its with communication skills not parenting skills and no you cant put kids in the middle cant make them choose or love you more by bashing other parental skills so let your children see the father because this will have deeper repercussion if you keep them away for such petty nonsense
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They shouldn’t be going anywhere with a lice problem. My opinion.
Grandma does, so should any parent.
I’d have a welfare check before sending the kids to makensure they will be going to a clean healthy place there is nothing wrong with it …
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My sons father has to provide for all his needs when he has him for visits. From the car seat, to diapers, food and etc. not to mention also paying child support for while I have my son.
He should have EVERYTHING they would need just like you do
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Yes! They’re his kids too. What if the mother had the same mind set. No food or car seats. She would be getting charges. But it’s okay for the “father” to not support them? That’s BS. He was man enough to make them he needs to be man enough to support them as well. As for the lice, if he won’t take care of it then yes do a welfare check. You’ve brought it to his attention and he decides to not do anything about it. So bring in someone who will. Sorry you’re going through this. That sucks. Hope you can get it sorted out. Keep that head up momma!
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I dont think electronics are a need so he would not have to provide that. Everything else yes for sure.
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Yes !!! He should provide all the things needed !
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I mean… as a mom who gets $20 weekly in child support and has 100% custody of both my boys all of the time… it’s hard for me to say just be thankful he’s in their lives (as long as it’s not a dangerous situation)
Car seats and electronics like a tablet is understandable but he should have food and clothes.
He should have everything they need while over there
He should have everything. He needs to provide for when his kids visit him.
It depends on the situation … how often do the kids see the father … my step kids only come during the summer (whole 2 months ) because we live in another state. So of course we don’t have clothes for them they bring clothes, their toys, electronics, etc. When they’re here we sometimes buy them shoes or clothes and they take them back with them. Now if they were coming every weekend we might have a change of clothes here and their own set of toys…
Now the lice situation is a NO GO… sorry but my children would never be going back to him.
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I have two very amazing step sons. Aside from asking BM to pack about a week of their favorite outfits we don’t really ask or care what is packed. We ask for a week because it will get them by until we can get to the store to get them new clothes. If we tried to get their clothes stocked beforehand they’d either not fit right or they wouldn’t like what we picked 
. Plus they grow so fast something we picked last month likely wouldn’t fit them this month lol! They also pack their Xbox and PS4, they have gaming consoles here too but they have their favorite games downloaded to their individual consoles, so both BM and us allow them to travel with them (it was sorta nerve wracking at first because BOTH sides were concerned the boys wouldn’t treat them right and that would be an expensive fix) aside from clothes and their consoles though anything else packed is whatever the kids WANT to pack to make their holidays/summers more enjoyable. We provide any and all other material items they’d need to have a happy healthy time with their second household.
Honestly I’d call someone if after each visit they came home with lice. Once is understandable, kids get lice but 3 times with no attempts to help is neglectful! How old is your child? Can they tell you if the house is perpetually dirty or not? If so then for sure call. No child, no matter if they’re bio, step, foster, adopted, or even just being babysat, should have to live in unsanitary conditions! Not saying the house should be completely spotless but at least not bug ridden! That is like the bare minimum standard… 
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What type of bugs he have ?
I sent clothes , food , toys with my kids , I think only thing important is they have their own car seats .
If your concerned don’t send them. If he doesn’t have what he needs to provide them for the visit don’t send them.
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Don’t send ur kids there. Keep them until he wants to fight for them and actually make a change to get them back
I send my son with clothes and electronics and some of his favorite things he wants to take and I think there’s nothing wrong with that since his dad only has him four days a month
But under no circumstances would I supply a car seat or food, sorry not sorry
And the lice thing would be a no go for me as well, there’s no reason to go over there and get it to bring it back to my house and other kids
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It seems like you’re working against Dad instead of with him. It is both of your responsibility to provide for and protect your children. It seems like you’re trying to be difficult. Asking for supervised visits? Why??? Don’t do anything that will interfere with the relationship between your children and their Father. If he is lacking - help. If he needs something for the kids that you ALREADY HAVE- why wouldn’t you share? Isn’t it better to have what the kids are used to and safe in anyway, especially when it comes to their car seats? Why do you want to work against him and your children and be difficult? How would you feel? Work together!! Kids need both Parents. You’re looking for trouble- that’s clear here.
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Omg reading these comments … y’all work against your children. Some petty bettys here. I don’t believe about lice etc because she said a few times. She either exaggerates or lies. Who would send them back a few times after that? No one. She’s becoming an alienator. It’s sick and it’s sad and many people here are supporting it.
Mine was ordered $50 a month years ago and hasn’t Even paid that I get nothing for any of them
Another bitter mother looking for an irrational reason to alienate a father from his children
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I’d contact CPS and tell them your concerns and do welfare checks. They aren’t caring for the kids and obviously don’t have what they need to take care of them. Do they have their own room and beds?
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It’s been some years but my ex lost custody until he could provide the kids appropriate privacy. They slept on a fold out couch at his home which is fine, but he would have parties and ppl over playing poker while the kids were supposed to be trying to sleep. Your ex has to provide an appropriate environment and their basic needs. Food, clean clothes, a clean home, health care, recreational time ect.
You shouldn’t be providing anything. Raising children is 50/50. Even if he pays CS. It still doesn’t matter. & if you’re ex’s place is that bad. No food, no necessities to provide &/or take care of his children properly. Then yes call for Welfare checks. Visitation might have to be adjusted thru the Courts. Til he show the Judge &/or you, that he can adequately provide & take care of the children that he knowingly brought into this world
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Yes he should.my son and his ex have joint custody of their kids both have everything the kids need, when they pick up drop off kids they don’t pack anything .
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He should have his own, there’s no need for bags of stuff to go back and forth. Just makes for unnecessary drama about who’s keeping what and who spent what
If you need a good resource on how to manage coparenting, check this book out:
Yes. Call someone. This is unacceptable
if your kids are not in a safe situation when they go over to their dad’s place then they should not be visiting.
Your kids should have everything they need when they visit their dad.
Sure, it would be great if he pulled his weight… alas, the kids are not pawns or bargaining chips. Until you get full custody, always make sure to make them the #1 priority.
I’d change child visitation to none until he cleans up the place. Report him and keep the kids away for now
No need of kids of kids coming home with lice. But yes dad should provide clothes and food.
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Have people gotten this bad?! Your question is completely ridiculous!! He’s their father! Of course he should have everything the need when they visit 
Or should we continue to make excuses? Unbelievable!
Car seats, food and clothes he should definitely have. The electronics welllll… The parents should split the cost and the kids can take them back and forth.
As far as the bugs I personally wouldn’t send my kid (s) there at all until the problem is fixed.
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Even tho yes, of course he should provide everything they need aswell, he is the"re father, but I am the type that would still provide everything they needed anyway’s.
because that’s just the kind of mum I am 
I am happier knowing my son has anything at all that he he needs & not where it came from
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quit letting them go…lice bugs and impentigo…I wouldn’t even let my kids go there for a min…father or not! If he can’t provide for their safety (carseat) or have food to fill their tummies…why would u keep sending them there? Sounds like neglect on both parents.🤦🤷
Contact DCFS (depth of children and family services,) and describe your situation. They can do a child welfare check when he has the kids. Depending on DCFS findings, contact an attorney BEFORE you discontinue visits. Also - yes: father should provide for himself all that is needed when he has his children. But cooperate with him where you can, if only for the sake of kids health and safety.
I would say Yes!!! With me hanging on if diapers are needed.
Yes preferably he should have his own stuf 4 them but the bigger issue is that he wants 2 spend time with his kids. Most men don’t have child care down pat like us women do. If the kids enjoy their time with him try 2 bear with him. 2 many kids don’t get 2 spend time with their dads.
The only part I can focus on is lice and impetigo… I wouldn’t let my kids go anywhere. But you need to test it also don’t just let them be infested because they won’t treat it 
He needs his own stuff
He should have everything he’s kids need when they are over.
As for the head lice if it’s more than twice than I would be asking him why. I get kids get head lice completely normal but, they should not come back every time with head lice. I would call a welfare check to make sure their place is safe for the kids and then, I would go from there.
Never keep kids from their father address the problems but impetago school sores nits lice are a community problem not just his kids need their father
If it is that bad go to court for visitation restrictions
He’s supposed to have everything. It’s not your job to make sure that the father is prepared. 
That’s not being petty. That’s being real. If HE is ill prepared I wouldn’t be sending my child anywhere.
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Lice must be taken care of in both homes.
Do you get child support???
The judge told our family that since we were sending over $1,000 in child support for 2 kids, their mother was to provide clothing, necessities, etc with the money we sent. She was supposed to also provide the same amount of “money” for their needs each month as us.
She refused everything she was ordered to do, and has still never had a consequence.
She sent the boys in clothes that were 2 sizes too small, shoes with holes so their toes popped out during snow, and she did not allow them to bring winter coats, toys, phones or anything “she purchased.” (Not that we know what money bought what…).
This went on for over SIX MONTHS.
It was completely neglectful. We documented everything had photo proof of her doing this every visit, multiple days a week…
We went back to court SO many times…finally when the oldest was FOURTEEN the judge lowered child support since she refused to cooperate. Now we can afford to provide whatever they need.
This is in MARYLAND.
Just Do whats best for the kids!!! Get along so they can learn from a good example.
It’s unfortunate and depressing when children have to recover from trauma of childhood due to their parents 
Get over yourself. Help him out. Some ppl would kill to have their child other parent in their life. And your mad because you provide a car seat. Lol. Petty much. Furthermore… You can’t prove where lice comes from. Unfortunately you can get it anywhere. Lol … You took a video to “prove” you don’t have lice… How’s that working for you? Because you and your home have been exposed if your kids have it. You sound bitter. Grow up.
He NEEDS his own car seat, and items like shampoo, toothbrushes ect. Clothes are an issue because if he has his own, you will not get back the nice things you send and they may come home in junk. He needs his own toys and electronics, let them be bored and drive him crazy. The bug issue is a health problem, family services should be informed (do you have court ordered visits) if not I would stop visits til he can prove all is safe. ( I was foster parent for 10 years and dealt with these issues) (I am friend of Julie)
Welfare check for sure. Call DCF and make a report.
A father should have everything for his children that a mother should have but if he does not have it it should not be a big issue for you to give it to him since it’s not for him it’s for your child so don’t think that you’re helping the ex-husband or child’s father out you’re helping out your child you shouldn’t complain about that but the head lice that needs to be corrected
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Unfortunately lice is not something that CPS will investigate. Lice are actually attracted to clean shiny hair. Lice are not because of dirty conditions. Given that lice are so easily transferred from person to person. If your children are playing with other kids they could be getting it from them. Just check their heads when they get home and always keep treatments on hand. If they have it treat the moment they walk in the door. As for all other issues the father should be responsible for most everything else. As a single parent of 3 when I send my kids to their fathers I make sure to send what they need. It’s not a big deal and at least I know that they have everything they need. Our goal as parents is to make sure they are well and happy. If that means packing all their stuff and making sure they have it so they can be taken care of so be it. The problem now a days with coparents is it is a power struggle. It doesn’t have to be. Love your babies, send what you children may need, never talk bad about the other parent in front of them, support the relationship and communication with the other parent. Unless the child is being abused or full on neglected then do what you gotta do for your babies. CPS isnt there for minor things that are part of life (like lice) cause if they were the schools would have to call everytime a kid had it. Don’t be so quick to judge the other parent you don’t know what they have going on in their life. Just provide and take care of your babies regardless what the other parent has.
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If court orders are in place which hopefully they are , you may need to go back and a least try mediation and sort it out since just asking him to do to do these simple things isn’t enough for any sort of change to happen . This way it’s all recorded and child protection will be contacted … Good luck it’s a blood hard thing to be going through I feel for you and your children .
No, when my children went to their mums I provided everything they needed for the time they were away.
Clean respectful sensible clothes, snacks and money.
Never reiceiced a penny from her either in maintenance.
Imo how you send your children is a reflection of how you are bringing them up. Even if the mum/dad are dead beat parents my children I provided what they needed.
One Xmas she wanted them, gave her the house for a week, a car, went food shopping, even the presents under the tree sorted. Yes kids knew who they where from but it was their Xmas.
And also, calling cps about lice… They won’t really go do anything about that🤷 that isn’t saying they’re dirty people… Lice do not like dirt… They like clean. And don’t call on your ex. That, can actually traumatize your children. Or at the very least, even just scare them a little. And start an entirely different war between the two of you. It could also, very well not be coming from just their house. And a child that they are constantly playing with. At either your house, or theirs. Yes, it should definitely be addressed thou. And, you both, should co parent together. And stop finding everything to hold against the other. And love your children, more then you hate your ex.
Depends on how much child support he gives you
Needs to yes but dont always happen… My kid’s dad dont get them very often (No court order and i only send them up if i have no other option bc most of the time its his mom taking care of kids not him he’s normally off doing whatever he wants) but when he does get them i send meds like ibuprofen and bynadryl if needed and i have to send carseats bc they dont have extra but food they have and clothes they have for my oldest and a little for my youngest
Don’t you dare send those children back until he can make it a clean environment.