I’m not sure if I can give correct advice for this…my husband and I are open and poly so in my case…I would say go for it because it is possible to love more than one person should feelings develop it just takes a lot of patience, communication and consent between all parties. But if you aren’t ready for something to potentially happen or feelings to develop from this, I would be very careful in doing so.
It ruins relationships… talk to other couples first. Maybe join a group first and observe
If it ain’t broke don’t try to fix it!!
I’ve seen this ruin relationships many times. Don’t do it
I never understood these kind of relationships but I guess these days it’s whatever floats your boats.
I could never share my husband because I love him and i wouldn’t want him seeing me with someone else and I wouldn’t want to be eith anyone else and if he truly loved me he wouldn’t ask me to do such a thing. Besides that’s committing adultery. But it’s your life your choice but I know a couple who were my friends years ago who did that . She did it to please him to make her husband happy and after a while of it she come close to having a mental breakdown.
It’s all fun and games till someone gets jealous. That someone will be you. I suggest 2 men and you. See how fast he shuts that down!
Hire an escort. They’re safe, clean and it’s literally their job. You most likely won’t know her either.
There is quite a lot of judgement on people’s sexuality and how they explore it. My biggest advice is what another mentioned- make clear, defined boundaries and only move forward if you both want to do so. If you have it in your budget, even make an appointment with a sex therapist/therapist and just explore motivations for this idea. Sex is fluid, with a lot of ways it can be expressed. Having a professional guide you through that with your husband can be extremely powerful!
I see so much hate in these comments! It’s so sad. Having a threesome or bring polyamourous is completely normal for someone who isn’t so “vanilla”. The best advice I could give you is to make sure that you consider all the possibilities and that, even with the negative possible outcomes, it is something you both are comfortable with experimenting with. Make sure to set solid rules. This is a fantasy of mine too. Another one I’d like is to be tied up and made to watch my hubby with another woman and then eventually I get untied and get to join in. However, I’ve been hurt so bad in past relationships that I can’t get over the fear of hubby leaving me for her. This being said, we decided not to try it because it would complicate our relationship too much.
So you said you guys are happy couples, bringing third person in your family will ruin your relationships. What if your husband fell in love with that female you are going to bring into your family.
I’m not with it. I’m not sharing knowingly… What happens when he wants more what happens he start bringing random chicks home…can you handle it… I mean he getting double the pleasure . .
Ask him to invite another man in to your circle for you and see his reaction…
Fetlife, tinder post looking for unicorn, things like that
“Female” girl it’s COVID outside. Hell no.
Not really a threesome if he’s just watching flick her bean
Just don’t complain when your relationship ends.
Are u mad… In this day and age!!
Marriage must be abt ur marriage vows… Period full stop!!!
Are you bi sexual? Seems that may be the case
Cons are it is always a posdibility you or him will fall in love, pros I don’t see any but if you do go for it
Okay, I think the only red flag here is that the husband is expected to only watch. Unless that is his specific kink (which is rare) it won’t end well. Have open and honest communication- is he going to be satisfied by only watching or should you both get to play? Having a threesome is only toxic without clear and open communication. I have a lot of swinger friends in amazing relationships. The key is they talk about every single thing. If this is really something you’re both interested in, I’d talk to him more. Also, be aware that unicorns are fairly hard to find. Especially ones that are into female on female while being watched by a man. Good luck and have fun!
Try looking up swingers for couples parties on line …
Some have theme or costumes different things for whatever you’re looking for… Plus everyone has to be tested so they know there isnt people coming with any diseases…
They are like open bars…being your own…
You can talk , play pool and most have a DJ…
That way you both can meet other couples and see what may work for you…
I enjoyed going with a couple friend of mine . At the time I did not understand why any couple would be alright with that… I ask a lot of questions and they all answered pretty much the same… I was single … I did not participate in the extra activities… but I did have so much fun with the people that sat around the open area and learned a lot about different ways people live…
If you both agree …I say go for it…
Everyone I meet were married for 25 years and longer
Not no…but HELL NO! That is sacred between husband and wife!! Do not entertain or bing anyone into that relationship and bond!!!
I find unicorn hunting to be groce.
That’s sick, ur married and obviously not happy. Leave and go be a female hoe. Admin block me if u wish as I’ve heard everything now
You’ll regret it! You’ll bring in so many doubts and insecurities you never knew you even had. Don’t share your man with anyone other than God, your children and your family. Protect what is supposed to be sacred or the price will be deeper than your pockets could ever stretch.
I did it several times with my boyfriend and another female I regret it. Don’t break what’s not broken.
I’ve always wanted to do a three some but my boyfriend isn’t the type to want that. I’d say do you girl. If I could have someone watch me with me with another girl I’d do it.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should my husband and I experiment with our relationships?
OK, speaking from experience, my ex BF of 6 years wanted an open relationship thus leading me to being with a woman for the first time…I’m an open lesbian now. Realized I wasn’t ever truly satisfied sexually or emotionally with a man … Being with a woman is COMPLETELY different. Biologically women aren’t designed to have sex and not get attached in some sort of way, so expect to gain feelings for the woman you find. Also, take into consideration the feelings of said woman. You’re basically saying you want to find someone and use them as a toy. People aren’t sex toys and shouldn’t be treated as such so major ground rules and expectations need to be laid out before anything happens. Also, it will be hard to find a woman, at least a lesbian because Unicorn hunting is a turn off for a lot of people. If I were you I’d try FetLife. Its strictly sexual and its people looking for similar kinks…also…I guarantee you’re going to want to do it more than once… As far as the threesome goes…I don’t advise it. Leaves a lot of room for jealousy and insecurities. Also higher risk of STDs and possible pregnancy. Not to mention watching your partner with another person isn’t something you can ever really prepare for. Seems fun and exciting in the moment.but mental torture after. Zero stars. Would not recommend.
I know someone who did this and they ended up divorcing and having a bitter custody battle for years after go to counselling instead
adult friend finder that’s where hubby and I look when we want to experiment just make sure you both are comfortable with it and secure enough in your relation ship and know the rules before playing
I know someone who did this and the husband ended up leaving the wife for the other girl🤦🏻♀️
I’ve heard it always ends bad my friend said that she felt like he paid her other friend all the attention that she felt very left out and it destroyed there marriage. Tell him ur fancy is having 2 guys at once and see how he acts then he can’t fulfill yours don’t allow him to have his wishes either. One of you aren’t being pleased or this conversation wouldn’t came up period. Let me say this once she’s there he says baby let me touch her and then he touches her n a way he’s never touched you what’s going to happen ur ass is gonna be heart broken I know I would be. Think about this b4 y’all throw 11 yrs out the door.
I honestly think your mistake was asking here, I mean I understand for advice purposes but you’re gonna get the ones who are judgy af, the ones who did it and got left, the ones who did it and went lesbian, the ones who did it and loved it… you’re going to get a million answers. I was the third added in, to happily married friends, who to this day are beyond happily married. Her and I went to the gym to lift together and talked about boundaries so we were alllll on the same page. But I’m just coming from a place of a very good experience. Do what you and your husband believe to be right for you and your marriage! It’s no one else’s but your own, you truly have no idea how it will go but doesn’t mean it’s always going to go bad!!
Good luck! (& have fun!)
It will absolutely change everything! Been there, done that!
It’s your choice but I would ask myself what’s next after that gets boring because I don’t think your husband is just going to watch but it’s like everything in life you have choices and when we make the wrong choice we pay the consequences
I feel like people are being really unsupportive for their own reasons but you said you have a good marriage, relationship and the intimacy between you , which is important! I think if you guys go to bars together maybe?? Or try to find (I don’t know if this is a thing) but clubs or groups where people do meetups at restaurants or bars (again) and are open to joining that kind of situation! It’s hard bc you guys want to keep it on the low but there are ways to mingle together in public places!
Your opening up a situation you probably will regret. Believe me when I say this…no man is just going to watch. He will eventually say well since you did it I should be able to join in. Can you sit there and watch him have sex with another woman actually enjoying it while you watch? Your feelings might be all into the excitement now but it will most definitely play a factor in your marriage later. Unless your both prepared for an open relationship or cheating afterwards don’t do it. How would he feel if you wanted a 3 some with 2 guys? Keep it fun with toys and kinky adventures with each other instead of risking your marriage. If your both as happy as you say you are then this shouldn’t have even been a subject of interest to begin with.
If this is what you both believe you want to do…do it! But remember once it’s done…it’s done! You cant take back or unsee what you watched him do and enjoy doing with another woman. And he cant take back the fact that he did it and may have liked it at the time! And vice versa with you…maybe you’ll enjoy being with a woman who knows…but if you dont and your husband does and wants to continue how will you handle that? Sure you may have an agreement that if one says no then it won’t happen again,but will you trust him after that…knowing he’s fantasizing about it again? After all you’ve opened that door. Why not another man? Would that hurt his ego? Why not you have another man? Perhaps because he couldn’t handle seeing another man pleasure his WIFE! Be careful…there are some things you never fully come back from…the old “you can’t unring a bell”…did your wedding vows say anything about “forsaking” all others"…there is something to be said for faithfulness and honor. It may be fun the first time or many times but one day you will look back and realized even if you’re still together that you actually lost something along the way.
I find this odd to say the least yet not. What’s odd is the conflicting words. Great marriage but your bored and want more excitement… Humm…
It’s not odd because this is now common behaviour for couples and I gareentee you it’s to please typically the male more so. If not well ask for a man to join in and see how that goes for you .
There lays the issue. If I read, hey we got so much love to give we want to share it, anyone have some pointers on these things anyone try this? Well yes, I happened to have advice: many relationships have tried this and its all fun and games till someone loses a husband or wife. That’s what you’re putting on the table for yourself. Go ahead you spin the wheel you take your chances. It’s goes nowhere but down from that point on.
They usually don’t work.
It won’t fix anything if there’s any issues in the marriage in your mind bug or small. It doesn’t fix it. Honestly for the type of person I am I could never. Not even that but I mean y’all have only had eachother that y’all know of for 11 years. Yes it may go well one time and he watches but it only takes one time for the new to come in when y’all are complacent with eachother already(not in a bad way) for it to turn into a new habit of his or yours if you’re not careful and one disagrees. There’s so many things that can go wrong orrr y’all may like it? Idk. I couldn’t share my guy, or have him watch but only because I get in my head about crap I didn’t think I would until I’m actually in that situation. Idk I’d feel it all out and give it more thought before you open that can of worms.
I want to tell you from experience, idc how strong your relationship is. Don’t do it. It will only bite you in the rear later. I could say set boundaries , but I promise you those boundaries will be tested and broken. If you cherish your marriage, and the sacredness of it , leave it a fantasy. Role play. Watch porn. Talk about it. But don’t do it! Just my advice.
Just opening up a can of worms if u ask me
If it’s both of your fantasies why not? I have jealousy issues so def not my cup of tea but hey, if it’s what u both want try it out! There’s actually “swinger” facebook groups for this exact thing.
Be prepared it may damage your marriage for a start. You say you have a great marriage etc all well and good for now but once you introduce that 3rd one just be prepared it could do more damage then good. Personally i couldn’t do it. Im sure there are good outcomes too but… its all risky business
As mentioned in a prior comment, your act can not be undone. It may be enjoyable in the moment but what are you going to do if it effects your marriage to the point of no return? I have seen situations where the new women becomes the main interest of the husband. The wife was left out in the cold. Another situation the women ended up together and the husband suffered. The destruction of your relationship and marriage is a high probability just to satisfy a fantasy.
My husband and I have had A lot of threesomes, with a few different women, all were women who were close friends.
Honestly going out and searching for someone to join in can seem kinda weird, ya kinda just gotta let things happen if they happen. It’s good if you and him have communicated your feelings if it were to ever arise.
It definitely takes a strong bond, and open mindedness.
My husband and I have been married for 10 years, together 15 years and had our first threesome 1 year after being together.
I’m low key crossing my fingers things go well and we meet someone cool at the music festival we are going to next weekend lbvs.(not our first 3some, but it is our first festival lmao)
if it is gonna happen you will know, and if you get the chance and your feeling the vibes then send it!
From personal experience I went with someone I met and got to know. Set boundaries for sure ! Make sure you and him talk over expectations and boundaries before inviting someone in. I had a pretty good experience the few times we have done it. Don’t let the negative comments change your mind. Fulfill your fantasies .
I heard there’s a tinder-like app for swingers: 3Fun
But that’s all I know. Hopefully everything works out like you plan❤️
Don’t open Pandora’s box. Idk what that means but I’ve heard people say it about situations like this
If you play while he watches that’s not a threesome.
Go for it so your husband leaves u for her I’ve heard it happens all the time lmaooo
I know it sounds like a good time, but this will ruin a good marriage. Eventually , that lust for another man or woman over takes you and you are not settling for just a 3some anymore. One of you will walk out on your marriage.
You have to be prepared for things to go further than what you’ve stated, you have to think how you may get jealous, insecure and how you can’t undo this, you have to be absolutely sure that you’re both on same page and be prepared for any consequence that may happen really- if you’re definitely sure hire a professional escort and explain what you want from her and set boundaries
You just might enup getting a divorce cause it may
Mighty start up something you really don’t want that is a fanticy most men have but I would never vomit to at all
Never usually works after, or turns into something else, let it be a fantasy or if you need something in the relationship maybe your not happy with each other
Set rules before you do this, as in what it and isn’t allowed sexually.
I think that if you guys have enough communication in your sex/regular life to do this then do it.
We have a good marriage but we’re bored? Doesn’t sound like your marriage is strong enough to handle a threesome and I imagine a new plaything for him is going to be leaving you cold and lonely and out the door. I just hope there’s no children in the mix when shit hits the fan. Good luck.
Go online maybe? Not sure how you’d go about tbh, but you do you chick, everybody’s different.
If you do it there has to be rules and boundaries that you both need to agree on
Get some toys.dont ruin your marriage
You play with fire then expect to get burned.Fantancy and reality isn’t the same.
I had a married friend that did this he left his wife for the other women … not a good idea
Oh and forget about the judgemental people…
Going to a club is going to be your best bet.
Sick and disgusting. If you don’t want anyone to know and you put it on social media.
Join Fab Swingers or maybe go to a swingers club. You’d be suprised how busy the clubs are.
You tha side chick just how long is tha question
Ok that’s just weird having your husband literally having his eyes on another woman. Most probably cheat on you in the long run lol with that person
“Just so I can play with her while he watches.” You really think that’s how it’ll go? If a man gets a threesome he doin both unless he doesn’t have a pair. That’s just common sense…
She didn’t ask if you guys supported it or believed in it . It depends if you’re looking into making your marriage a triad or not. Unicorn hunting is very frowned upon, and that’s what it sounds like you’re doing… you wanted someone who you know a little. Sexual and STD history is important
Don’t invite anyone to your marital bed it only brings trouble trust
Why do people ask others for advice on their relationship on social media
I wouldn’t but every relationship is different
Wtf am I reading here?
It’s a fantasy for a reason
This is NOT a great idea
Too many stds out in the world to just be nilly willy
The life is on predictable some time’s in life the people you call your friend may end up being the one that wants you down, i was happily married with my husband, but at a point he changed he no longer gives me attention, and he no longer want to go on vacation with the family again, and he also stop carrying for the kids again, and also stop coming home for the week, i was so bothered, i never knew that my best friend was having an affair him, one day i was going truly post on a relationship post on facebook the i came across someone saying how she was helped by a spell Doctor to save her marriage then i decided to contact him for help, when i contacted him, he told that my friend is the one that is try to brake my home, but i did not believe and he told me what to do, that when i do it i am go to see them myself and i did it, behold court them together and my husband left me and move in with her, and i told Dr George, he ask me not to worry that he was going to help me… He cast a spell for me and my husband came back to me and now we are living happily together again, celebration this Christmas together,. i will for forever be grateful to you Dr George… Some people may say why are you saying her, i am saying it because i know that they are many people out there that are having same problem like this… you can contact him on +79263835163 or Dr George solution center
It will change everything!
No! Absolutely not. It will make things worse.
Your relationship won’t be great after and no man is just gonna watch
Yes, I’m sure nothing will go wrong. Have at it
Very much personal choice but thats a big no for me. Pretty sure there’s other ways to spice up your sex life if you’re bored
Girl you do u ,if you want a 3some then do it. We only have one life live it up.
Unicorn hunters are disgusting.
So many uptight, closed minded women in this group probably only have vanilla sex twice a year
Go right ahead and experiment but dont complain when your marriage is destroyed because of it. Everything you do has consequences and most times it result in broken marriages,so have fun…
I think it’s a great idea!! Have lots of fun!!
Try the swinger want ads!
So many prudes on this thread, so many that have no experienced a threesome where the man just watched while the females played!
Depends how strong your relationship is really? Lots of couples have this lifestyle and are still committed to each other. So it all depends on the strength of your relationship
I’ve just watched an been tied to a chair for extra excitement then my girl came over when she wanted with me while the other girl played with her or u never know u may want the other girl to play with ur man while u play with her… u never know unless u try it an if things go south stop doing it an have talks about why it went down
If you do, make sure you set clear boundaries before hand. Most guys arent gonna wanna just watch. I suggest a swingers club to get to know others who have been where you are and see 1st hand the pros and cons. No one is made to feel pressured at most clubs to participate in the activities.
My best friend did that with her ex then he started sleeping with the girl behind her back. But another 1 of my friends did it with her husband and they still together. I guess it depends on the man and how faithful he is
What could POSSIBLY go wrong?? LOL.
Jeez these comments. Do whatever y’all want to do!
Set boundaries & rules.
Maybe go to a swingers party.
I would never do that…I think that will mess with your relationship…I think u would regret it…
I say if it’s what you want do it. I’ve been the unicorn and no way would I break up a relationship. We all had fun just be sure to communicate and set boundaries
Hop on fetlife or tinder but be careful. You’re unicorn hunting and not every female wants to be just a play toy I’d honestly probably just pay for an escort. Safe, they don’t know you, and they’re okay with just a one night stand of fun
In Vegas, they have swinger houses. Maybe go there and try it.