Should my husband help with weaning our toddler?

I’m trying to wean my toddler off of breastfeeding as they have started biting. I’m a stay-at-home mom and my husband wakes up at 6 am for work. We co sleep with our toddler in our bed. My husband and I got into and argument this morning because our child woke up last night and was wide awake so I gave our child a sippy cup of water and put on a show (at a 3 volume level, barely able to hear anything even) to distract from wanting to breastfeed. This woke my husband up and he’s mad that I turned on the t.v and don’t understand that he has to get sleep for work. He think that if our child wakes up I should take him into the living room until hes ready to come back to bed so I don’t wake my husband with my process of distracting our child from breastfeeding. He thinks that because I’m a stay at home mom, and can “choose to sleep whenever I want.” I should be understanding and ensure that I don’t disturb his sleep. I understand that a full time job is hard and you need sleep to have a good work day and I’m thankful to be a stay at home mom but I also wish he understood that I also don’t get that sleep back when I’m awake with our child at night, nap times only last 1 hour and its easier for me to stay awake during that time then to close my eyes for 5 second only to wake back up even more exhausted with a fully rested toddler running around ready to play. Plus we all know the best time to get anything done is during nap time…I’ve read that while weaning its helpful for Dad to sleep with the baby so they can’t smell the milk and have a fit about wanting to breastfeed but instead understand that dad can’t provide milk, receive comfort and go back to sleep. I haven’t talked to him about this yet because he already gets so upset when he doesn’t get a full 8 hours, and I feel like it’s my job as a mom to deal with breastfeeding and take care of our child during the day when dads at work and at night when dads are sleeping. He helps out a ton with everything I ask after work and weekends and is super supportive, but I just don’t know if he’ll react well to missing out on sleep… My question is should Dad help out with weaning our toddler even if that means he might be having a rough night’s sleep when he has work in the morning? OR Should Me and our toddler just sleep in the living room (I’m not going back and forth from bedroom to living room every time toddler wakes up) until he’s done weaning to unsure Dad gets his sleep before work? I just feel guilty and like it’s my job as a stay-at-home mom to take care of all of this stuff since I don’t have to go to a job outside of the house…

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I do not see an issue with what you did. You also need sleep. Just because you stay home, doesn’t mean it isn’t equally as important. Of course he should help you out.

8 hours are already too many for a grown man to sleep
Weaning is not forever
Tell him to help
Women get so afraid of offending men that we just keep suffering
Being a stay at home Mum does not mean you do nothing all day
Tell him what you need

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IMO no he shouldn’t help with the weaning the toddler off. Let him sleep. stop offering the breast honestly give him something else and tell him no more boobie or whatever u wanna call it and be stern abt it.

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Why turn on a show when everyone wants to sleep?

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He’s going to work, I get that.
But his ass should be on the couch or spare room

Have you considered putting the child in their own bed. Dads going to miss a lot more sleep over the years in this current situation :woman_shrugging:

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He works all day outside of the home, he needs his sleep. If it were me I would honestly be alittle pissy too. You could have laid on the couch with the tv on so your husband could sleep. It’s about being considerate of your spouse

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If you feel like you need help… ask for help. Baby is not only yours. :heartpulse:

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Tell him to go sleep on the couch🤷

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you should let him sleep

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I would take baby out. I dont think its cool to have the TV going in the morning. Mine works in a high risk job and I’m so worried he could have an accident there or just driving early in the morning from lack of sleep.

In saying that I get that dads have it easy in the sense they don’t have to worry about breast feeding.

A new strategy is needed for sure.

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Imo you both helped make child and you need help weaning too. If its always just you then your child will continue wanting breast. What did dad do when toddler was a newborn and woke every 2 hours? You cant help a crying baby waking everyone in the house up…im about to give birth to our second son and dad and i both work. Ill be going back after 6 weeks and we will both still lose sleep along with our 3 yo. Its a part of being a parent to lose sleep…

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If you said he wasn’t helpful in any regard then I would say yes - he needs to help. But you literally said he is wonderful in every other possible regard, and helps you when you ask after work and on weekends. I say handle it yourself, and ask him to watch the kid so you can go to bed early or nap on the weekends to help make up for the sleep.

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Just bc he works doesn’t mean he’s not a parent also.

If you want him to be a part of your parenting then he needs to take the good with the bad. And weaning is a bad! So lay it on him and lighten your load. Being a stay at home mom is 5x harder than most jobs bc its 24 hours a day not 8 hour shifts. :woozy_face:

I would set up somewhere comfy to sleep with my baby if he didn’t wanna help.

Not everybody gets to sleep a full 8 hours. If your child is up in the middle of the night regardless if he’s in your bed or his bed, you’re going to have to get up to attend to him. You’re gunna lose sleep when you have kids. Is he in freaking rainbow and unicorn land? :roll_eyes:

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I did not breast feed so take that into consideration for my post. BUT at the same time my daughter was very and I mean very attached to her bottle. But when weening. I didn’t ask my husband to get up and help ever. Not because he wasn’t capable. He was. But his job is dangerous. And if he is tired then that could mean he gets hurt. Where as I sit at a desk 40 hours a week. If I’m tired it just sucks. But regardless of that if our daughter woke up the best way was just to sternly say no more whatever you call it and ignore her. She also sleeps with us. She’d cry and whine and reach for my night stand. But after a few nights she understood like whoa mom means business. I’d never turn on TV or anything just keep it quiet and she would eventually lay back down and go to sleep. If you turn in tv especially to cartoons or something she likes she will continue to wake up for that and not understand it’s sleep time. Now she doesn’t wake up at all in the night. And even though she’s not out of our bed she atleast sleeps through the night. It’s rough saying no. It is horrible and makes you feel guilty. But in the end eventually they will understand.

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Just bc ur not making money at a job doesnt mean u are home doing nothing …please a child is a job doesnt matter how old they r … I give so much more credit and thanks to teachers now that ive been stuck had to leave my actual job to do homeschooling my 5 year old for months now. An at home mom is a fulltime job and anyone who doesnt agree hasn’t done it
So his sleep is no more important than urs. And if 1 parent is up struggling at night then the other one should be helping or expect to be woken up … And what about cups does he use cups for juice or water ? Try putting milk asap even put a little chocolate or strawberry something they will probably like and when they want the boobie try to distract him with a toy or something he likes 💁 idk I never did that so I am just thinking of what i would try :heart:

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Let him sleep. Take your kid to the front room if you want the tv on. That’s just rude turing on the tv when someone is trying to sleep. You said he is amazing and helps with everything else so let him be and wean the child yourself. Maybe try sleeping in the child’s room with him until he is weaned so dad can sleep

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Let him sleep. But you and baby either stay or go wherever baby is more comfortable. Which is probably in bed so I’d tell hubby that if he wants his uninterrupted sleep, then it has to be on the couch for a week or two until the baby adjust.

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I know how hard being a stay at home mom is. I do it as well. But my husband busts his ass to provide us the luxury of me being able to stay home. Just my thoughts. That baby needs to be in his own room in his own bed. The husband needs to be able to sleep. Tho being a SAHM does not mean you do nothing all day. Just the opposite. It does mean you can squeeze in some down time. Where as he can not. Get the toddler on a routine. Bed time by 8 in his own bed. And naps before 2 in his own bed, and just stop offering the breast. Period. If he’s a walking talking toddler he should be sleeping through the night.

It’s a balance. I don’t work outside my home. So my job is the home. That doesn’t mean my husband doesn’t help when it comes to our children. Find a schedule that helps you both out.
P.S. 8 hours is a lot of sleep unless he’s doing hard labor. Then he needs it. Your time will come mama. It won’t always be this hard.

He needs to get up at night to help during weaning. Women need more sleep than men. Medically proven fact.

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The actual F.

People saying let him sleep? What about her sleep?
I’m sorry but we as moms DO NOT GET TO SLEEP WHEN KIDS ARE UP. and generally we clean when the small humans are down.
stay at home mom IS A FULL TIME JOB and then some.

Sweet Jesus what is wrong with you people. Parenting is sacrifice, and why do women do all the sacrificing. God this makes me mad.

And if he wants you to sacrifice your sleep at night, then he needs to let you go to sleep for a while when he gets home from work.

He can pick his poison. You need sleep so does he. And it’s all about compromise and sacrifice.

I’m so over this mentality of men “needing thier sleep”, and women’s needs coming very last. Such BS.

We as parent need to raise our boys better

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IMO your toddler shouldn’t be sleeping with you or still being breast fed (probably gonna get back lash for that but I don’t care.) Once your kid is able to eat solid foods, they should no longer be breast feeding. I understand that it’s a comfort thing but there’s a time when your toddler needs to start growing up to become a child and that’s going to be difficult if they still want your boob at 5 years old. Co sleeping is also dangerous, what if you roll over onto your kid? So proud to say that my 2 year old has never slept in my bed and loves his own bed and his own space. It develops independence. Please let your husband sleep. Stop letting your toddler sleep with you. If it’s really an issue, dry yourself up and boom. No more breast milk. Your husband can’t physically or biologically produce breast milk so why should he help you wean the child off? You chose to continue breast feeding your toddler so it’s your job to wean.

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He should definitely help but also… Turning the tv on at 3 am when he has to be up at 6 am wasn’t particularly considerate and isn’t the best habit to teach your tot anyways.

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First of all put that kid in his own bed. Secondly your husband has to get up for work in the morning to support you staying home with your child and you then the tv on in the bedroom where he is sleeping?! Girl I’d have lost my shit if I were him! Being a stay at home mom is hard work and getting up with your child is part of it.

Sleep whenever you want HAHA your husband needs a slap :roll_eyes: but in saying that, I agree with him. I have a 2yr old and a 1yr old and if either of them wake during the night and won’t settle back to sleep I will get up with them and go in the lounge so he can still sleep. No point having two sleep deprived parents :unamused:

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Ummm…that sure doesnt sound ‘super supportive’. You BOTH need sleep to have ‘good days’. Y’all should be taking turns on nights with the baby. That child is both of yours, not JUST your responsibility. I bet your job is way harder than his any day of the week. Men who think like this irritate my soul. Hes selfish af

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Why not let baby wean on their own? They are capable of doing that on their own. But also, if you need help ask for it. No need to get all stressed about not having help when you’re not asking for it. Hes a parent too he should have expected to lose sleep when baby was born.

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If he has to work you should take his feelings into consideration only one parent needs to be awake with the child and I know I would take my kid out of the room of my husband had to go to work in the am so he wasn’t tired for work. Also maybe set up an arrangement to where on weekends he gets up with the kid one day so you can sleep in some days

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Men :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:
I read a great suggestion while trying to wean my toddler (without my spouses help) they suggested taking away one feeding at a a time. I started with middle of the night because in the article the mama told the tot that when the Sun goes down the nah Naha go to bed and they need their sleep so there’s no nahnahs till the Sun comes up! I thought this was a gentle way to start. It worked for that mom n it also worked for me! Then we just sorta went from there removing night time before bed n then nap time was a breeze… this was backwards from what I thought I’d try but truly my son just got it.
Best of luck to you!!!
N weeks after we had weaned completely my s.o. asked how it was going… :woman_facepalming:
You got this girl!! Moms rule the world!!! :heart:

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If your kid is a toddler,then this should be a simple fix. Sippy only from now on in their own bed in own room…Your husband needs his sleep if he is going to work early next day. The kid,if a toddler,will get over breastfeeding just like kids get over having a sippy instead of a bottle and it is better for you and your husband if the kid sleeps in their own bed in own room from now on so you both get plenty of sleep and have a room to yourselves to spend quality time in…And when your kid gets up…dont turn the tv on. Just keeps them up. Change diaper, give sippy, and let them self soothe back to sleep. Maybe get a star projector with soothing music to help,but no tv. My daughter got a hippo star projector that does music, sounds,and things and love it. Knocks her right back out watching the stars on the ceiling with nature sounds and music.

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I would have him do Friday and Saturday nights and you sleep on tbe couch so he can handle it . Then you take the other nights so he can sleep. I would hope he would happily be on board with this . He then could sleep on or take a nap on sat and Sunday if necessary.

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I think there has to be a better resolution than turning the tv on at 3am…how could you expect to get a toddler back to sleep at that point? Also you and your husband clearly need to sit down and actually communicate with each other about the best way to handle this going forward…I’m sure there is a solution that will work for both of you such as you dealing with it during the week and him dealing with it on the weekends or whenever he is off.

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That best answer IMO is you already know… you just want validation.

It may be time to teach your toddler to sleep a bit more independently

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I had the same issue with my husband & we both decided for our sanity that we would let our daughter wean on her own with a bit of help of me not wearing shirts that showed skin or she was able to pull down. It saved us both some sleep & avoided future arguments.
Baby’s will wean when they’re ready mama.

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Nope he’s an equal parent regardless of jobs. My boyfriend tried to pull this shit with me and it’s not okay. Stay at home mothers have a full time job we can’t just sleep whenever. I’m a full time student and I got a part time job just so he couldn’t say that shit to me anymore.

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Here is what I suggest. Pack a small bag and go to your moms house over the weekend. Leave babe with dad. Let him see how much you get to sleep during the day and a win-win, baby is having to wean because no breastfeeding is available. Bet dad calls you begging for forgiveness.

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Maybe it’s time that toddler sleeps in his own bed, maybe even in his own room that way you and your husband both get your sleep and son learns to self soothe and learns to fall back to sleep by himself, without external stimuli (you or the television) doing that for him. He needs to learn that eventually.

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I think you need to sort it out… when my kids were young and co sleeping, partner was working early starts late finish, I was home with the kids…at one point I had 3 under 3… he needs his sleep, maybe get extra help from him on weekends… but if he helps out with other stuff during the week…let the man sleep

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We can sleep whenever we want? Now that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. In the last 3 months I’ve been able to sleep once (yesterday) when my baby was sleeping and it literally lasted 1 hour. He should help 100%. You didn’t climb on top of yourself and get yourself pregnant. We don’t Co sleep so I don’t know how that all works but my husband works and still gets up and takes care of baby. We switch off on feeds at night and the person who isn’t feeding the other gets up until that feeding then after that the person who feeds gets up if needed. Yes it sucks having two sleep deprived parents but until they sleep through the night thats how it is…well for most. But hubby should help. We can’t be on all night and all day. We aren’t super moms

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Unpopular Opinion :woman_shrugging:t3: dads right it’s much easier to be tired at home then tired at work. You yourself said he helps out a ton when he gets home and on weeks.

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Do not turn on a TV for distraction… it will become a routine for the toddler and harder to break than weaning… and as far as the sleep thing… mom’s don’t get as much sleep as dad. Sorry. I’ve had 3 kids. My first one is the only one I had help with. My other 2 I’ve stayed up countless hours since I stayed home and dad would work… maybe if you wanna wean from breastfeeding maybe multitask it and get him in his own bed. Just My 2 cents…

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I didn’t know as a parent we got to choose when we are and aren’t a parent. When I had to stop breastfeeding my husband was up making bottles, cuddling all the things that are needed for a good transition. My husband even wakes up and helps with puke or when she’s feeling unwell. Their at work so they can’t help but when they are home they clock in as a parent. No if ands or buts. Plain and simple. He should be helping and understanding. Tell him to take time off and be a stay at home dad and then he’ll understand that we don’t get to sleep just whenever. You don’t get to choose when your a parent.

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Try to eliminate co sleeping as well as weening off. Kill 2 birds with one stone. Own bed, own routine. In the long run you both will get the sleep you need as well as your kido

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When our baby was little I did all the nights during the week and husband would do the weekend two nights to give me a break and help out, I was working part time so it’s what ever works, but then our kids never co slept and I would never turn the tv on when my husband is asleep, and he is the same he wouldn’t turn the tv on if I was asleep

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These new and improved straight out the box women crack me up!

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I personally wouldn’t want to disturb my husbands sleep. You said it yourself he helps out all the time and is great. He needs his sleep for his job. Your job is to take care of your children. Maybe since you are wheaning your child and you know your gonna be tired you should sleep when baby sleeps and have your husband help in other areas.

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I think your setting up for failure turning the tv on in the middle of the night,

If your weaning maybe you could consider getting a single bed or double bed in the toddlers room, and either start settling them in their own bed and even if that means lying in their bed till they fall asleep and hoping in your own bed or if you are settling in your bed if they wake then take them to their bed and dont turn the tv on, start establishing some new solid rules and following through.

Secondly I don’t think it’s fair to keep 2 people up instead of 1. How about on his days off he goes into the toddlers room and settles toddler to sleep and gets up to him and re-settles him over night.

Remember your not just a mother, your a partner too, give and take and make room to have one on one time with your partner too

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When my son was younger and I stayed home I would always get up with him. My husband works hard and needs his rest to safely function at work. That being said, your child is best in their own room especially with weaning. Maybe ask your hubby to check on your little instead of you if they wake up at night to avoid the want to breastfeed but I wouldn’t force him to lose tons of sleep over it. Stop with the tv at night as it is stimulating and will become a bad habit. Good luck

We made the baby together so we go down together… it’s nvr a mom or a dad job, we are a team.

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That’s ridiculous that any father would think their job parenting ends at bedtime. He’s being incredibly selfish. As someone who has been on both sides as a full time stay at home parent and also as a full time EMS provider working 12- 24 hour shifts, being home is definitely the more stressful of the two. I am far more exhausted after a day home with the kids than I am after any shift at work and on top of that , breastfeeding itself is a full time job. Dad needs to realize you need sleep too and the only fair way is to alternate who gets up with your little one, especially during the weaning process. He’s acting more like a spoiled child than a parent or partner IMO. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Ive had 5 kids, no husband home to help n tv is the last thing u wanna do… Get the baby into a routine. Less naps during the day. For everyones sanity. My youngest never napped during the day from 9 months on ( her doing, not mine)… She sleeps 10 hrs straight.

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Turning on TV is only going to cause another issue/thing for you to have to wean your toddler off/break them of (in the middle of the night), device will become a problem soon enough. Haha
A sippy cup with water is a great alternative/distraction in itself. Also transitioning to the sippy cup, and their own bed at the same time will save you a bit of grief later. Toddler may even sleep better, once past the adjustment period.
Yes, it may take some time, but if you remain consistent you’ll get the results you want.

PS- is toddler breastfeeding because of hunger? Or for comfort? Once you determine that you can better come up with how to handle things.

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Nope, if I’m up, you’re up, we’re all up. It’s called parenting, it doesn’t last forever, deal with it.

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As someone who’s breastfed for 4 years your kid will wean when they’re ready the dads are basically useless for that. Slowly do it tho some kids are different than othefs

When my baby is sick out of daycare and I take off work the next day to stay home w/ him, Dad will take couch to get better sleep knowing I would be up & down w/ our son…eventually putting him in bed with me. Vice Versa when he has to stay home with him. (Comfy couch is key)
Side note, being considerate of your spouse IMO is not being upset that the other parent gets up to do what they need to do for YALLS baby, especially during a transition. Acknowledgement and appreciation is what should be shown, both ways. And it should be what is most convenient for the person getting up with the baby…I’m not going to sleep with my son on the couch in pencil position w/ a cranked out neck when I can have the entire bed to maneuver…while my man can still get a solid nights sleep on the couch.
She’s not banging pots and pans at 3am, she’s trying to soothe their kid. He should be thankful she’s taking that on w/ out waking him up to ask for anything. It’s stressful and exhausting which causes everyone to be annoyed at one another but in the grand scheme you should realize you’re a team. Both should contribute and pull weight to make it work…whether it be Mom takes on a little more but Dad rotates in to help when she needs a break. You do what you need to do as a parent, and you do what you need to do to get through work as a tired parent. :tipping_hand_woman:t3:

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Put that kid in his own room. And you can sleep in the same room until he goes back to sleep.

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I wouldn’t put on the t.v. and it sounds like you need to start teaching the toddler to sleep in his own bed. That way both of you get sleep

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Tv is a must in our home. But its always particular thinga such as vampirina or she listens to soothing music. I find at a low volume a snugglly blanlie and favorite stuffie would help tremendously if your weaning from breast they have Excellent sippy cups that feel breast like

Also before you come for me my daughters daddy just passed away amd thia is what works for her

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I’m a single working mom and I get up and go to work rather I had 8 hours of sleep or 3

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From someone who has only just managed to get my son to sleep in his own room (he’s 9) and he still wakes me up every night between 12-2 to go and sleep in his room it is a nightmare! Yeah I know they don’t do it forever they grow up etc etc but I would defo do his room up and get him sleeping in there. He won’t be able to smell the milk then. Also when my boy was little my partner use to get up on they days he didn’t have work, (which were always the days I worked so we didn’t need a babysitter) but if he had to get up and go in the morning I’d do it. Most nights I would natural wake up with him through to be honest. Maybe suggest to your husband, if he works Monday to Friday, that he does Friday eve and Saturday eve? After all, as he said to you he can always nap when the baby does xx

You are literally covering every issue with another issue. Get the child in this own bed and in his own room, no tv. Husband needs sleep and the child needs to learn to wean the right way, the first time.

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I think you need to sit down and discuss this with your partner, as I had the same conversation with mine and it wasn’t until I went back to work after maternity that he understood how hard it was in the everyday life of parenting! He would always say its easy staying at home but then when I returned to work and I came home to the house looking like a bomb had gone off and my partner exhausted :rofl: he actually said he had the most respect for everything I do.

Men seem to think that its easy just being a mom but in reality its the hardest thing, and what they fail to realise is them going to work is their break away from the house/children, being a stay at home mom you dont get a break, as you said best time to get things done is when baby sleeps so you don’t get to relax and put your feet up!

As for night time I wouldn’t necessarily put the TV on however maybe invest in a light show if you haven’t already got one.

My son is 2 now and since he was 7 months he has gone to bed at 7pm and sleeps through if on occasion he wake I just go in and put his light show on and find his baba (blanket) that’s hidden somewhere in his bed and he soon goes back off! But you shouldn’t be the only one to do this as parenting should be 50/50 and there is no cut off time for dads!

I didnt breast feed but I get your frustration with the weaning process and maybe dad should offer sippy cup too so baby knows food/drink doesn’t just come from mommy.
Good luck momma :blue_heart:

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You both chose to have a baby it’s his responsibility to help in the night too tell him to book a week off of work and try doing what you do he will soon change his mind

Personaly i never dreamed of waking hubby up i always just got up with baby till settled him was hard work .but then im talking 50yrs ago today is so much different. I always thought hubby breadwinner and he needed to sleep he worked hard .yes so did i but when i had chance of kip i did with my baby

Just because you don’t work outside of them home, doesn’t mean you don’t work a full-time, LITERALLY full-time… 24 a day and 7 a week… being a mother (stay at home also) is the hardest job I’ve ever had… I’m 35 with a 4 and 2 year old. It’s literally the best thing in the world and honestly I wouldn’t trade it for anything (with the exception of getting more breaks… but she’s getting ready to start pre-k and him daycare like 1 1/2 days a week)
With that being said, I am exhausted all the time. I can’t remember the last time I got a full nights sleep. They go in cycles & take turns, if one is sleeping good the other will go through a waking up phase and most of the time since my baby is such a good sleeper (generally) the my 4 yr old little girly just decided to not sleep at night, like at all. But wants to nap really good a few times during the day, NOPE! I try to keep her up to wear her down but I’m already so tired from the night before, and the night before that and the night before that for the last almost 5 years. My husband is always offering to help at night but since he works so much & gets up early for work, I always try to do it myself and even go into the living room to not disturb him & let him rest… again, totally my choice… he’s super easy going and has not ever made me feel like I’m bothering him at night or like there’s any hassle if/when something comes up. I mean WE have 2 kids, both of us and there will be a time anytime, one day, someday when they are both awake at night, or both up sick ( :mask: unfortunately) and etc and we will BOTH have to be pitching in. I honestly don’t know what I would do without that faith in knowing he will help anytime all I have to do is ask. Sometimes not even that, he just steps up bc he can see I need him or bc I’m feeling overwhelmed… I know you already have this established anxiety about him & not getting all of his sleep… but have you just asked him to maybe take turns or even pitch in like 2-3 nights a week. I mean you can make it fun and do like rock, paper or scissors for who is going to change this diaper lol oh wait maybe that only happens at my house. Anyways, my thoughts are that you shouldn’t have this much hesitation or resistance about your partner, the father of your children helping you out a little with their own children …Bottom line you not have full-time demanding and stressful jobs, with a boss or bosses to answer to (little mini versions at home) I know how men come sometimes thinks and honestly it’s mostly bc they just don’t get it. Our job can we just as hard & stressful as theirs away from home, but I bet ours is better even with sticky hands and running noses, messes in the living room, spills on the floor, writing on the walls, sassy mouth, little attitudes and determination… this too shall pass. Just take a minute
,take a deep breath, and talk to him. If it still doesn’t get ether than at least you will know how to address it further . Prayers Momma!!!

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Sounds like dad either needs to help or he’s the one who needs to sleep in the living room

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OMG. Sounds like your man is a hell of a lot better than mine was. He’s working so you can stay home and have electricity, water, sewer, food, clothes, etc…AND he helps you parent. While I realize I am from a different generation…LET HIM GET HIS SLEEP.

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I agree with him. You are home all day so it is easier for you to catch up on rest. I’m a stay at home mom to 3 boys and I make sure guy gets his rest as he has to get up really early. So yea you should take you kid to another room until thru are ready to lay down

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Don’t feel guilty. But you gotta do what you gotta do. I would say talking to him and asking for help with baby sleeping with him wont get far if he already doesn’t like loosing his sleep but you can try and if he doesn’t help then just sleep in the living room it’s hard but it won’t last long💓

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I’m not a stay at home mom, but I have 5 children. I have to side with dad on this one. The tv being turned on at night is just another habit that you’re going to need to break, so just dont start it. During the night, remind the child it’s not play time or time to eat/drink. Give a sip of water in a cup (not sippy cup) and return the child back to bed. If the child is not sleeping through the night and disturbing other people’s in the house sleep, he needs to start sleeping in another room. If you’re choosing to allow the child to stay up and watch tv, then you absolutely should be doing it yourself. If my husband were to get up with one of the children and allow them to watch tv in the room knowing I had to be up for work by a certain time I’d be beyond pissed. Same goes for my husband.

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No, toddler needs to learn to go back to sleep in their own bed. So solution is that dad sleeps on the sofa and you and toddler in bed. But don’t get in the habit of turning the TV on. Toddler will get used to it and expect tv when ever they wake it. My other half slept on the sofa when he worked and my kids were young.

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I gave hubby all the kids around that weaning age if they fell asleep with me the want a boob and cry non stop till they got it. but with dad they just fall asleep. Hubs wakes up for work at 5 he goes and cuddles n their room at 8 45 they fall asleep and he comes to bed.
Maybe try going to bed early. What ever you do dont turn on any lights tv toys eventually they do fall back asleep if you pretend to sleep

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I’m a stay at home mom and my husband works. We have four kids, the youngest is still nursing but when the older ones needed to be night weaned my husband was the one that did it. It was easier and faster for him to do it since the toddler knew they weren’t getting any boob from dad :woman_shrugging:t3:
When it was time to wean we set up a bed for the kid in their own room and at bedtime my husband would put them in bed with a bottle or sippy cup and if they woke up at night he’d go check on them. It took less than a week for them to get used to not nursing at night and then after that I was back to being the person waking up with them.

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When I was a stay at home mom, I let my husband at the time sleep and I took care of the babies…especially at night. He needs sleep so he can be safe at work to make money for the family.

Turning in the tv makes him think it’s okay to wake up. The light wakes him up. It might be time for him to start sleeping in his own bed and room.

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Dad is right. You will be up with toddler regardless. No reason to wake him up in the process when he has to get up for work. Doesn’t matter if the volume is low. The light is still bothersome. You are trading in one habit for another by using tv in the middle of the night in place of nursing. Keep the atmosphere as quiet dark and calm as possible during sleeping hours. This will benefit everyone in the long run. Toddler will eventually learn that nights are for sleeping, not eating or watching tv.

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You should take care of the weaning and let your husband sleep. You are home all day and can take a nap when your child sleeps, your husband can not sleep at work. Plus going to work sleep deprived could become a safety issue for him. Taking your child to another room is the right thing to do. I am a mother of 2 children. You should not disturb your husband when weaning your child at night. The weaning process will eventually end, just hang in there.

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There is a lot going on here. Firstly it’s not just one parents responsibility to loose sleep! Your also.setting yourself up for more stress and hurdles to overcome. Toddler should be in their own bed. By turning on the tv and giving him a cup in the middle of the night you are also starting off on the wrong foot of weaning. Any change is hard for a little but you have to make a plan and stick with it for them to adapt well.

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Does the toddler have his own bed? If so that’s where he should be sleeping even if you sleep with him. I agree with dad. It’s disrespectful to turn a tv on when someone is sleeping. Take the child to a different room.

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I absolutely went to another room when I was weaning my son off the breast. Yes I was exhausted during the day. But my husband needed his rest in order to function. Because trust me when I say I napped with my toddler. I don’t care how long of a nap I needed it! But on his off days we took turns. It took about 2 weeks.

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I would say the first thing was the co-sleeping that needs to stop. If the child wasn’t right there next to your boob it would make it easier

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When you work hard all day to provide for your family you definitely need to have a good sleep without interruption. Take your child to another room. Personally I slept in another room with my daughter until she was ready to sleep by herself without waking up at night. I regretted co sleeping with her because she was restless at night. The person earning the bread in the family should get a good night’s sleep.

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I agree with him. He needs that sleep to preform his duties at work for his boss(es). You home during the day should be getting your little on a schedule. Whether or not you choose to, you DO have the whole day to catch up on sleep. As the docs say, sleep when your baby sleeps. Turning on the TV at night for your toddler isn’t really a good habit to start anyway. You wanna set your little up on a healthy routine and start moving towards future goals like scheduled naps, teeth time, bedtime, snack time, lunch time, sleeping in their own bed, ect. There is nothing for him to help with when you are weaning from your breast. You gotta do what you gotta do, if you feel like sleeping in the livingroom is best then so be it. I suggest mabe a rocking chair to soothe your little back to bed without distractions, or even a little stroll through the house with a little bounce. May be tough, but thats weaning and that’s toddlers. Just gotta find what works. You can also talk with your littles doc for advice cause by 6m they say littles should be sleeping through the night. Mine doesn’t :thinking: but we’re workin on it lol :laughing: she JUST turned 6m and is breast fed. Definitely let him sleep though!

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I’m with you on this one. You both created your baby so it is his job as well to help out regardless of whether he has a “full time” job or not!!! Just because you’re a stay at home mum doesn’t mean you have to majority of everything it should be 50/50. So tell your partner he either starts helping out or go somewhere else to sleep🤷‍♀️

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I always worked too so my husband and I shared getting up if one of our children were sick, we never slept with the children they always had their own cot in their own rooms from about 6 months old. If I was a stay at home mum I would then not have expected my husband to get up if he was working and I wasn’t

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Honestly I choose to sleep in the living room even though we both work. I am the one who doesn’t want the baby to sleep in his crib and since my husband’s job is way more physical than mine I choose to sleep out there so he doesnt be woken up. Hes never came out and said to sleep in the living room but I chose too. Yes there are nights we sleep with him in the room but most the time I sleep on the couch and the baby sleeps in his pack and play. Everyone is different though. Talk with him and see what he says but don’t get too upset if he doesn’t want to miss his sleep.

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Toddler needs own bed to be honest or its gonna make this hell of a lot worse … both my boys were breastfed n once started weaning thay went into there own cot /bedroom when thay were 3/6months old it only took thwm 1 night and them slept thru 7pm -7am no feeds in the night and went straight to formula with no issues

It won’t hurt him to miss a few nights of sleep for the greater good. It probably won’t take much for your toddler to break the routine. We only had 2 rough nights with mine.

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Yes daddy should help with the weaning but I’d be annoyed if the TV got turned on in my bedroom in the middle of the night. I’m a childminder so stay at home but not just with my children, I’m always always one to get up with them in the night but mainly because once my husband is asleep that’s it, nothing will wake him but I wake easily so it’s pointless me trying to wake him I’m already awake so just go, it’s hard some nights but that’s what comes with having children and you just gotta push through it, my husband always says he wants to help more in the night but he just doesn’t wake up which isn’t his fault x

My partner sleeps in a separate to get sleep. And my toddler sleeps with me than we all get sleep. And I work full time too and I get sleep ins ok weekends

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I agree with dad on this one. When toddler wakes in the night putting the tv on just wakes them up even more and they think it’s ok to be up in the night :woman_shrugging:t4: I have never co-slept with any of my three children and they are all brilliant sleepers but when they did wake when they were younger I would change their bums etc in their own rooms and put them straight back down again, even taking them downstairs they think it’s ok to get up in the night then. I think they should 100% be in their own bed. You would all get much better sleep then

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I have a nine month old and I’ve never ever had issue ever this is granted she was born early so we had much different rules and stuff from the doctor and weren’t really allowed to sleep much in the beginning with this being said my other half works full time ,sometimes even over time and he’s never ever given be grief for accidentally waking him up during a work week or Waking him to ask for help :woman_shrugging:t2: he was also a single dad before we got together so he may have a different understanding :woman_shrugging:t2: could just be me

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I agree with your husband also if your child didn’t sleep in your bed you would not need be concerned about him smelling your milk

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It will be tough but getting your child accustomed to their own cot will make a big difference. Find something that distracts them enough to relax, like a colour changing night light, vibration toy etc (whatever works for them), using the tv does the opposite and gives bub the impression that its “awake time”.
If this transition is causing bub to fuss a lot, start in the loungeroom where it won’t disturb your husband. He really does need to sleep. Put the cot next to the couch so you can sleep within view of each other. Offer some water but keep bub in the cot, they’ll get sick of it after a while and stop expecting to drink anything in the night. When it gets easier, then you can consider a more permanent place for the cot.
There will be a lot of trial and error finding the best way to soothe, but once you have it figured out you will be glad you did it.
I know where you are coming from, my girl takes an hour nap, sometimes shorter. And I choose the housework over rest and self care. It’s a choice. If this is making you tired, perhaps you could rest more during the day and have hubby help with house stuff when he’s awake. It’s not ideal being nocturnal, lol, but it won’t last forever. It’s a transition.

I’m with dad on this one. And honestly there isn’t really any reason you need to turn the tv on in the middle of the night. And also, you can nap with your child during the day, he’s right. You just choose not to. Meanwhile he can’t, because he’ll be at work.

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first of all your toddler should not be in bed with you!

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So much stupid in one post. :roll_eyes:

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