Every co-parenting relationship is different. Do what works for the both of you. Maybe doing it without discussing it made it disruptive. And he didn’t know how to respond without being visibly upset. Try talking to him about options that will accommodate the both of you.
He needs to be in his own bedroom. When he wakes go in there and distract him with something else. Co sleeping is a bad idea
Or move to Hawaii, let hubby stay where he is and get a good night’s sleep. Win win! He sounds like a bit of an arse to me!
I’m a grandmother and just don’t understand why a child sleeps with their parents. They should be in their own bed!
Here’s a thought. Put the kid in his OWN bed. Never should have been co sleeping in the first place. Now you both are paying for it
Im a mom of 3. It feels like these days of tiredness will never end. They will though. I put the crib in our room when mine were born. Kids were only allowed in our bed during a hurricane or storm. I would put my milk in bottles because I worked too. Eventually I was blessed with being able to be a stay at home mom. At that time I never expected my husband to wake up for night time feedings. I know you feel over whelmed but this time will soon be over. Do you really want him to think about maybe sleeping in another room because he really needs his rest? I would respect his wishes and take the child in another room so not to wake him. You say toddler. How old is your kid. After 6 months he should sleep thru the night. Sooner or later your going to have to break this habit and give your child his own room. Make it a fun thing were they help you pick out their new big boy bed and sheets.
Put child in it’s own room and dont replace breastfeeding with another bad habit of turning on the tv in the middle if the night. Child will have some rough nights but no dad doesnt need to step in and coddle child. Let the child learn to soothe itself and go back to sleep. Offer drink but dont make it an awake and play time. Yes there will be some bad nights but it should get better
If a man ever said something like that to me I’d kick him to the curb and take half his money. He works?! He needs his sleep?! Oookaay… My dad worked 7 12s 2 hour drives away and never once would have said something like this to my mother. The standard for men is too low, they just look at their baby and get applauded for it Girl, take half and never look back, then you can sleep when you want all day w/ your toddler
That baby should have been in his own bed from the start, unless you’re using him as a form of birth control!
If he is a toddler I expect he’s around 1 or 2. He should be in his own bed first of all and he should have been weened by now. This seems to be a problem you made for yourselves.
If your husband is loving and supportive in other ways, I might respect his need for sleep. There are other ways to get a child back to sleep than turn on the TV in a sleeping room. I don’t say that coslepping is never ok, but it seems to be causing a problem here.
FFS. Man up already. I know few if any adults who actually get 8 hours of sleep. If that tiny amount of noise distracts from his precious sleep let him sleep on the couch
If your husband is the one bringing in the money to pay the bills so that you can be a stay at home mom, let him sleep. You have a toddler, not a newborn.
The dad is probably more upset that there is a child in the bed and yes, it makes him mad and can’t verbalize it to you that he is done because clearly the poor guy hasn’t had sex in years… get the kid out of the bed!
Kids should not be sleeping in their parents bed, will be extremely difficult winging them off!
Child needs own bed. & well the Mom always took care of the rest…,hubby dont need to lose sleep & try to make a living…
He provides you the ability to stay home by working if you want to stay home sleep in livingroom
just my ideal but i would put something bitter on the breast before you feed him he’ll be weaned fast if you stay with it
Honestly, I wouldn’t turn on the tv… perhaps singing a lullaby or quietly rocking and humming to ur toddler? And remember just because you don’t work a public job you are still ‘working’ 24/7!!! A stay at home Mom is ALWAYS working!!! Your husband needs to help anytime he can as long as he is home!!! If he needs to he can nap on weekends! My husband worked and sometimes he would stop on side of road somewhere and ‘nap’ few minutes because as soon as he walked in the door at home he was there to help me with raising our 2 children!! You may have to try a few alternatives before u work out what is best for your toddler but this will soon pass… patience and rest!! Remember the days are long but the years are short!!!
You should have had the common courtesy to remove your child and yourself from the bedroom. Furthermore you are a stay at home mom therefore the soul responsibilities of raising your kids rest on your shoulders.
Dad needs his sleep, he is a working man. Be thankful for that. You sure don’t want him having an accident because he didn’t get enough sleep. He makes a good point. I did just what he is asking you to do. It’s not a big deal. You can catch a nap during the day. This won’t last forever.
Yes. He created the child with you and should have to deal with some of the hard stuff also.
I nursed my babies until they were roughly two years old. There was one time that a child bit. I yelled NO, and that was the end of that session (and no sippy cup or anything). I do happen to have a loud, carrying voice, and that NO wasn’t planned, but it happened. I think the next time he indicated nursing, I asked him if he would bite (children can understand more words than they can actually use themselves ) and he said he wouldn’t. If he had, that really would have been the end–weaning would have officially occurred. We didn’t sleep with our babies after maybe 3 weeks or so. Now that your toddler is old enough, your child is definitely ready for the own room “You’re a big boy now! This is your new place to sleep” There may be some sobbing and screaming at first–go in after about 15 minutes, cuddle and praise him/her–but do not take the child back to your bed (there may be again some loud noises, so repeat after about 15 minutes…) It is too hard for your husband to get enough sleep for work, and your child is now a big boy or girl. GREAT that you are a stay-at-home mom–you can snag some sleep while your child is napping. Don’t worry about the clean house–the emphasis is on mom, and you do need your sleep. Later, when the children are at school, you may choose to go back to at least part time work, and I am here to say, when you retire, you will have plenty of time to have a clean house (I often clean while visiting on the phone with friends and family). Blessings and peace to you and yours!
If your child is a toddler, he should NOT be sleeping in your bed! That might be part of the problem of trying to wean him from breastfeeding. He needs distance from you and your scent that is associated with breastfeeding.
She is very blessed to be in that kind of a relationship, the husband is the breadwinner of the house, so yes sleep is very important, their kiddo should be in their own bed. As far as the TV goes, I find that very disturbing to even have one in the bedroom, I hate it when my husband turns it on in the middle of the night cause he can’t sleep. I have a hard time sleeping as it is, I don’t need it worse.
Thank you Ann Preece I agree it’s not rocket science. Sounds like the mom wants an excuse not to do that blaming the working dad. It’s a simple solution. May be difficult for child at first, but it to will pass. Takes about two weeks and listening to a little crying but better for all concerned.
You need to get your act together. DAD is working to put food on the table for you and baby. Go to the living room and let him get his rest. This won’t last forever with breast feeding. You are not helping him get his rest since he is the bread winner.
Totally no TV. It stimulates the brain so it prevents your toddler from getting back to sleep. Warm milk has sleep inducing qualities. A small amount if oatmeal or piece of cheese may also help. Dim lights and soft music or singing a lullaby. Reading a book, but no playtime. If you continue a family bed routine your husband needs to realize he needs to help at times as well. Toddlers can be manipulative as they realize they can pull strings to get attention. It may be time to transition him to a big kid toddler bed in his own room, if you and your husband aren’t getting the sleep you both need. You may need a 3rd party if a family meeting doesn’t bring changes so everyone’s needs are met. Sometimes a professional in early childhood or good pediatrician can explain from a perspective that doesn’t involve emotional issues that go along with parenting. An outside take can be if help and may be better received.
Do not co sleep. Dad should help at night.
Imo your husband should help with the weaning if you both agreed in the beginning that breastfeeding and co sleeping was what would be done. I value my sleep immensely and am willing to give it up for the betterment of my child. It sounds like you love your child and don’t want to upset him and that may be part of your problem weaning him. A toddler is old enough to begin to understand they can’t have something just because they want it. If he has teeth he may be ready for soft foods like oatmeal that would sustain him longer and decrease any need for feeding at night. That may help both you and your husband get more rest.
You need to get the child in his own bed. Should never have been put in your bed. You did that for your benefit in the beginning and now you have a bigger problem.
Get him in own room and no t.v. He needs to learn that night time is for sleeping. Weaning will follow, naturally and during daytime the Mom can deal with it. But Dad should be happy to help out. He helped make the child he should want to help raise the child. It’s what a dad does
Your child needs to be in his or her own room. The longer you prolong this the harder it will be. If he or she cries, so be it. Start now please.
My babies slept in their own room but I brought them in our sometimes. We tried to let them cry it out but we could not sleep. My husband had to work a dangerous lineman job so I took care of the baby.
I get it… but you seem to have also drawn an immovable line when you said 'i’m not going back and forth from bedroom to living room…" Are you both ‘sacrificing’ during this hard stage?
Your toddler should be in his own bed in his own room. Big mistake putting him in your bed and, a toddler should not be waking up in the middle of the night to breast feed. Lots of luck if you have another one.
A toddler should be in its own room. Also he’s working to provide for you and said child , he needs his sleep. So put the toddler in his/her own room and start weaning it. Like you said , you can nap in the afternoon your husband can’t. So if you have to get up in the night you will just have to be doing it for awhile, And you sound ridiculous by saying you aren’t going back and forth from living room to bedroom , all the more reason to get this child into his own room. So looks like you have 2 big jobs on your hands at the moment
I agree with the husband. The child should not be sleeping in parents bed for one. Two, if you want to turn a tv on go in the living room, why wake up your husband. No reason for both of you to be awake. Go into the child’s room and sleep in there until hes weened.
Put the child in his own bed-he should have been there already.
Transition the child into his own room. Co sleeping is sooo scary. Ask your husband to help out more on weekends, but the man needs his sleep to go to work. As a SAHM, I could function on less sleep just taking care of a child and house. The man needs to be alert to drive and fully function at a job. Expecting him to help wean is too much. Use a sippy cup at night if needed. Plus using a tbsp of cereal before bed in a cup or bottle if you go that route helps them sleep longer. But don’t put them down with that, as they could choke. I never asked my husband to get up with our child when he worked.
How long has the weaning been going on and get your child in his own bed and you back in yours if your husband is that supportive of you should you not be the same with him and how old is this child
I think your first mistake was putting your child in your shared bed. This will be hard to break, and it should be up to both of you to break it.
Put that kid in his own bed. Let dad sleep, go to the kids room and check on him, then put him back to bed. That kid will be still be getting you up in the night when he’s 5. Stop it now, or you will be divorced and sleeping with your kid.
Why don’t children sleep in their own beds? If that were the case then you could both get some sleep.
Ill tell you, i know how you feel, except my fiance will sleep through anything so he wouldnt mind if i put the tv on. Your husband i think is being kind of rude about things, because its his child to, i agree when hes off the next day he needs to get his butt up n help you cause you need sleep to. Like your working everyday on the house and child etc. He should understand that, like you understand that he has work in the morning. Since my child was born 2 years ago i was the one up with him everynight while my fiance slept, and eventually it got so bad with me being so tired all the time and wore out that my anxiety and depression spiked to an all time high and i MADE him start helping me more during the day and nightime. honestly untill you wean him id just sleep somewhere else with him in the meantime, or put him in his own room because it seems like its gonna be a huge issue for him to help you at night. Just remember tho you got this, and it wont last forever Soon enough they will be weaned and everything will be fine again. Just gotta get through the rough stuff!!! But dont drag yourself through the mud and stay there when your husband made the kid to. He has responsibility as well and he needs to deal with it. What if you was working outside the house? You need sleep to!
Time to wrean child to his her own bed/room. I guess Im old school. I have always gone in another room with my child if my husband has to work the next day. I thought of it as respect. On nights when he dont have to work the next day he gets the rocker and a bottle.
That child should be in his own room, in his own bed. That is the worst mistake you made letting him sleep in your bed. He should trade places with you, then he will realize that you need help.
Get the kid out of your bed. You can teach him to sleep in his own room then he won’t want the milk asking your husband to work full time then sleep with the child at night to wean him off you is a little much. I’m a single mother my kids DO NOT sleep in my bed n if they do wake up in the middle of the night I taught them to quietly stay in there room and can watch there tv quietly until I wake up or they go back to sleep because I work full time.
When we had our first child my mom impressed upon us to not allow our children sleep with us in our bed. She had six children and knew what she was talking about. We followed her advice and didn’t have this problem. Now I work and when they woke up weather to feed or from a nightmare I would go to their bedroom to Comfort them. My wife’s job is harder as she never gets a break. If for some reason like the next day at work I was going to have to work a double or something else she would get up and deal with the kids. It is a balancing act because you also don’t want to get killed in an accident driving to or at work because you are tired. Work together and it will work out. Just get your child out of your bed.
I always woke up our kiddos about 10:00 and gave them bottles in a quiet room. They took it, burped, and went back to sleep and usually slept at least 6 hours, even when very young.
My babies had their own rooms never in parents bedroom to sleep.
Try the weaning process when your husband has a few days off.
From a nanny baby should not be sleeping in your bed ever.
Co sleeping is ridiculous. Not good for baby or parents. How can you keep true intimacy in a marriage with a child in the middle of you? Quickies in the bathroom or wherever will never keep a marriage strong. Put the child in his own bed & maybe he’ll sleep thru when he can’t smell you. Turning on the TV in the middle of the night is just rude. I’m with hubby on this one.
I suggest your little one could now sleep in his own room and you might all get a decent nights sleep. It might take your baby a few days to get used to this.
Yes, he should help on EVERYTHING. Your job as a stay at home mom is just as important and exhausting as his is at the office.
1). The longer you let baby sleep in your bed, the harder is to get them to sleep in their bed !! How old is baby? My kids were 10 lbs at birth, had to go on baby cereal at 6 weeks (son weighed in at 16 lbs I still nursed but he needed the cereal.) Your toddler is waking up because they are hungry, if over a year old should be eating finger food, stop the nursing, NO MORE!! Give a bottle w/ baby cereal mixed in, just enough cereal to not plug the nipple, or put them in a high chair & feed with spoon, just make it soupy, then gradually make it a little thicker,since texture is different will take a few day to adjust.Keep the baby in their own bed, you think changing the feeding is hard wait till kid is 3/4 years old wants to sleep with you! Not kidding, I’ve seen in restaurants where one kid in high chair another walking around about 4 - 5 years old still nursing on mom while dad tried to feed the younger one!!
To begin with. Child doesn’t need to be in your bed or even bedroom at this point. Give child a bottle or sippy cup and snack before you put him to bed. He should sleep longer if his belly is full. You say hubby helps you a lot so give him enough respect and let him sleep. You probably get breaks thru the day to rest. I did and had 3 kids.
Your husband has to get sleep in order to work, go to another room until your baby is weaned and sleeping in their bed
I do not believe that dad and milk thing. Put the child in his own room and eventually , all will sleep better. Have milk frozen and refrigerate those for the day. When dad gets home from work he can feed the child and you can cook supper. He needs bonding time with the child.
Dad needs his sleep,child should have his own room, I breast fed 6 kids all now grown,I would never disturb my husband’s sleep when I knew he had to get up for work,had extra sleep area set up in liveing room for baby would nurse them,late night play time lol they would finaly fall asleep and I would sleep on the couch so we would not wake up daddy
I’m 100% in agreement with Ann .
Yes you both made this baby however you said it your self your a stay at home mom .!! There for when the baby naps you nap the house work is something you can work around . At the same time your husband should at some point in the evening take ur child to him self therefore giving you time for your self as well … it’s call working together .
Good. Luck
Is this toddler already “woke” enough to be telling you he or she doesn’t want to be whatever sex they were born as, or are you pro-actively sowing seeds of confusion? Or maybe the confusion is between whether you have one child or many, as in using “they” for the toddler(s)?
You have already spoiled your child. Being a toddler should not be on the breast or bottle. Take him to his own bed give him a cup of milk, stay with him until he falls asleep. If he wakes give him cup of milk. May be a rough week or 2 but you have to get that child into his own bed and off the breast. You may have to take pills to dry up your milk.
Baby’s don’t belong in your bed number one when there infants you could lay on top of them look up how many children die this way child belongs in its own room mother can set it up with rocking chair to nurse in and be relaxed when she is doing this you are all talking about the father it’s his child to well she’s the only one who can nurse child and if she wants to stop how is he going to help maybe getting up and giving a bottle but she gave child sippie cup to drink from that means child is toddler not infant then turn on tv is this for her or baby don’t thing too many kiddy shows on early AM you people are arguing about who works yes they both do but his job puts food, pays rent,and all the necessities that’s his job hers is to take care of household including child that’s it folks like it or not
It’s a joint responsibility, 2 patents. You pick 3 nights and he picks 3 nights. It’s ok to split up rooms when it’s your night so not to disturb the other one.
You are a lost cause! Just because you are breastfeeding doesn’t mean the child has to sleep with you! Put him in his own room before it’s too late!
I would try to wean before moving him to his own bed but its definitely time for that id say. I get wanting your baby near you at night when breastfeeding but its also not a healthy habit past that in my personal opinion and experiences. I have a 9 year old that still tries to get in bed with me at times because I coslept until he was nearly 6! And I have a 7 year old that loves sleeping in his own room always but I put him in his own by age 3. It helps if you give your little a picture of you and him or your whole family to look at if he wakes up and feels sad. Also a nice teddy or something that has your guys scent on it maybe your perfume on the front and his cologne on the back. Hope you get the support you need much love.
Whether it’s one parent or two parents, babies/toddlers need to be in their own beds through the night. Hard to do sometimes, but it’s best for them, and for mom and dad.
You and your husband should not let your child sleep with you
Maybe it’s time the toddler has his own room.
A toddler, I think should have his
own sleeping place. Why are you
putting this on fb?? It doesn’t belong
here!!! What do you think we did,
when our kids were toddlers ?? This
needs to be worked out between
Mom n Dad.
Get kiddo a room of his own and I broke mine with a paper sack with rice. Every time he wanted teet I shook the bag and it took about 2weeks and he didn’t want it anymore. If kiddo wants it he will come to you it may not be the teet he wants he gets you to put him in your bed so he gets his way. Mine kid was almost 3 when I broke him
Your husband is right, the child should be sleeping in his own bed, proper sleep determines how you do your job,
We had four babies in five and a half years. My husband, a farmer, never got up to feed them at night. I don’t remember him ever changing a diaper. Those things were not his job.
Yes he should help out. Being a stay at home mom is a 24 hour job. No pay. He should be thankful doesn’t have to pay child care.
Stop bringing the child into your bed. Give your husband the sleep he needs and do what is best for the child which is put him in his own bed in his own room. If you really love your husband and your child, this is what you should do. And DON’T TURN THE TV ON! Children need to learn to sleep without the TV turned on during the night. It’s very unhealthy to sleep with it turned on because it can interfere with the necessary rem sleep. Don’t be selfish, do the right thing.
Both of you need sleep, both of you are working full-time. Yeah, you should try and let him sleep sometimes since he does have to get up and leave to go to work. But, he also needs to help you with HIS kid. Both participated in the act to create the child, both need to participate in the raising of the child. If he can’t have a civil discussion with you and understand that, he’s probably not the one.
The baby should be sleeping in his own bed, not with the two of you!
You should goo to another room to take care of your child! It is hard to go back to sleep after being woken up!
My husband was able to sleep, I didn’t let anything disturb his rest. Plus when I was able to do my job as a mom… I did it. The house was mine the kids mine. He simply made money. BIGGEST MISTAKE! He has no bond, no memories, no clue. And could careless. He feels that he did his part. Kids don’t even care if he’s around or not. So if he wants to bond. A little missed sleep might be ok. Kids grow up to fast, he’s missing it even in them sleepy hours. If he’s a pilot or working some insane job surgery or something ya he kinda needs his rest every drip drop. If it effects his job proformance you need to think of a new way. Because other wise you will be away from your child working and paying to have someone else raise your child. He may loose his job. Fact is if he don’t when he goes to work he can say “ oh man my baby kept me away” people will understand. Best wishes.
This child needs his own room that way he may also sleep better and not be around your breast and he thinks it time to eat if he in his own room give water in a bottle just a bit to get rid his thirst and he may go to sleep what I found out do not take out the bed crib if u do they think wake up time if get up cries just lay back down tell night time sleep I did with mine in a day in a half she was broke she slept threw night I check her diaper and told mom here time to sleep
I remember when my parents put me in my own bed beside my older brother’s bed.he was such a dink about it. he would threaten to punch me if I didn’t keep quiet, ahh but he did that too much and my mother was listening and they put him in the bedroom downstairs thank god lol.
A “toddler” should not be in bed with you or even need to nurse during the night. Period.
Child should have his/her own bed. Child will sleep better(after being weaned from sleeping with you). The marriage bed is for husband and wife, if not, problems will arise later.
now is the time to also get the child used to being in his/her own bed in his/her own room, when the toddler wakes up, Mom should take to the other room, give a cup or bottle & let child fall asleep in the room, then by the time it is weaned, it is used to waking up in his/her own big boy/girl bed/room
That child should definitely be in his own room and bed
Yes he may work9-5 for 5-6 days . So do you as a stay home mom. From cleaning to child care. And even to educate the child.
Yes you can choose during the day to sleep. But he goes off to work and does not deal with house duties. And chasing a child all day!
So when he home. It a share efforts to raise the child properly! Along with shared responsibility!
The biggest thing that parents have to remember after having a child is that mom and dad time, in their bed, by themselves is important for a marriage. The second thing is realizing from day one that the child is born, they need structure. Which means the same routine everyday. Set up a routine from the time they get up until the time they go to bed. Not every kid is the same but if you follow the routine for each kid you will find it is not only easier for you and your husband but for the child. I raised 2 very independent kids, both are grown and well into their 20’s and I started the routine from day one and both my kids slept through the night by 6 week ( not to say every baby will do that), but if you watch and listen they let you know when they are ready for bed, or still hungry so they need a little bit more milk at night to sleep. Also if your toddler starts asking for more to drink during the night start letting them know that once they are in bed there is no more getting up to drink. Doing that is only going to cause more problems when you are trying to potty train them. Not criticizing, just saying what worked for me. I was not a believer of kids sleeping in my bed, I always thought we all slept better when we had our own space. Just a habit I never started. Never too late to start a routine. Hope it works out for you.
The child should have his own room and bed.
Lol bad idea to let him watch tv when he wakes you will definitely get him of the milk but he will now wake for tv he will always want and expect it
I say let dad sleep weekdays and let him take over on the weekends xx
Child should sleep in his own bed
Every one needs different sleep time. How would dad feel if toe fell asleep in the daytime and your son got into something and got hurt.
First, why is this child not in his own room and bed. Second, you said dad is good at helping when he gets home. Third, your are not happy when he complains about you guys waking him up, he is the one that is going out everyday to make money. You are being very selfish. Forth, you want him to help ween from your boob. It’s your boob. You need to have that child in another room and you take care on him. You can suggest to your husband that you would like a day out once a week. Maybe on a Saturday. He could possibly watch him or maybe your mom. But you need to think about all of this. You are the one at home. There is a thing called a playpen to put him in while you do your house work. You can take a nap while he is taking his nap.
The kid is a toddler you said toddler means that kid is at least 2 too old to be breastfed by 1 year
Well, the co-sleeping is the first issue IMO. This child is going to have boundary issues unless some parenting starts happening real quick.
When my wife was staying home in the beginning, I worked 60-80 hours a week. So is one child a full time job? Or 2 full time jobs? The bottom line is both parents need to be understanding, but if she doesn’t want to be homeless, she needs to take the kid out of the room so he can sleep lol.
I agree with him .if you don’t work outside the home. You can get a nap during the day. Go in another room. Have some compassion for your husband who works for your living.
Get the child out of your bed! The bed is you and your husband sanctuary. A child does not replace your husband’s need for you and be glad of that!
The child should be sleeping by it self in its own room and own bed.