When my daughter was a baby I would get up with her during the week since he had to be up at 4am for work. On the weekends he would get up so that incould sleep.
My boyfriend was a gamer so usually spent his nights in another room but if he was sleeping and the baby woke up I would do whatever since I’m the one caring for the baby he didn’t mind if it woke him. I slept with her til she was over 2 yes co sleeping is the best and so much bonding!
Put your child in own room with TV solves problem
Tell me you hate stay at home moms, without saying you do. This thread is awful. This woman is asking for help, and her husband doesn’t think he has to be a dad during the week because he works. Ya’ll are ridiculous.
Weaning is hard, and your best bet is to cut out one feeding during the day. Nighttime can be very hard and you just have to try other methods to distract them. Husband should be helping with that whether or not he works. Him providing a roof and paying bills doesn’t give him the right to not be a parent and all these “women” saying otherwise are brainwashed. It’s 2021. Stay at home moms carry more of the mental and emotional load for the house, and honestly, that needs to change.
The dad needs his sleep for work to provide let him sleep. You said he helps in every other way so you take care of the baby at night and let him sleep. Take the baby in the other room.
He provides money and prob benefits for your family. If he gets to tired makes errors and looses his job what then? How about get your son into his own bed in his own room? Then if you have a TV on low it bothers no one.
My man worked on roofs so his sleep was very important. So I believe it depends. Do you have another bedroom for the child? I feel like it would be hard with the toddler in the bed with you regardless if your husband is there or not. I weaned both mine by nursing only at bedtime/night time and cups during the day. The middle of the night ones stopped eventually as did the bedtime. Some moms use bandaids to cover their nipples and say it’s a boo-boo.
Hello Parents, when I was weaning my youngest son off the breast my Sweet Mama said for me to keep a small distance because he related that I was the one whom breast feed him. My husband got up and gave him a sippy cup and it only took a couple of nights. And we where all good. Good luck all babies are different.
He should definitely help. But you are super failing by giving a cup and tv in the middle of the night. You’re building a new routine which is going to literally backfire on you. Keep him in a dark quiet room, rock him, sing to him. Put him in his own room for this and get him used to his own bed. My kids never co slept so I didn’t have to “train them” to like their own bed but when I weaned my 2 year old my husband took over the rocking singing and bouncing…Rubbed his back to sleep etc. and that became his norm for a little bit while my milk dried up. I was a stay at home mom and he worked. I got up for the midnight rocking and cuddling and he got him to sleep. That became my sons new routine and he slept through the night shortly after. Teamwork makes the dream work in my opinion. Your husband is being selfish in my opinion BUT you are creating a monster by doing sippy and TV in the middle of the night. Your son will never sleep through the night If you give him something else to “crave” at nighttime
Why not transition the child to their own bed/ room?
The Milk Meg has some great resources on night weaning. I cosleep and breastfed my daughter till after she was 2 and night weaned her while still cosleeping. So it is possible, it just takes time. I do think you will just create another habit that will be hard to break with turning the TV on at night till they fall back asleep. They will associate waking with TV and want it every time they wake up. I wish you luck
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you are not JUST a SAHM… first Nd he should be more understanding he allowed the toddler to co sleep and if dad doesn’t want to be woken then tell him to sleep on the couch…lol… but really sleep elsewhere till you wean or till you transition the child’s to his own bed
He should not have to wake up in the middle of the night when he has work in the morning. He can do that on days off and then let her rest, but he shouldn’t have to he tired when babies don’t easily go back to sleep.
People acting as if he’s trying not to be a dad are just brain damaged. He has to go to work, and maybe he has a dangerous job that needs him to be more alert. She’s at home. Weaning is hard, obviously, but dad taking him is not going to make it easier. She just needs to put her foot down and teach baby that there will be no more breast.
Sounds like its time to room train. Tv in thier room. Start getting them into their own room. If he needs to work then so be it. Don’t cause distraction
It’s a tough job but somebody’s got to do it! You are a stay at home mom so you should have the duties at least at night so he gets his sleep. When he’s home from work is when he should pitch in
Turning a tv on in the middle of the night can actually make it harder to train a baby or toddler to sleep through the night because the light can wake their brains up. I would try teaching him to sleep in his own room and through the night that way your husband doesn’t get woke up and you can get a better night of sleep yourself.
I personally don’t understand co-sleeping. Toddlers sleep like maniacs & nobody sleeps well if they’re getting beat up all night. Lol
You should probably transition him out of your room. And keep in mind, the lights from a TV or phone can actually mess with the brain & keep them up longer. You are starting a new routine that will only give another habit to break later. My kids didn’t get a tv until they were 10 & then it had cable at bedtime bc I unplugged it. Sometimes we think it’s a great idea bc it helps but then we have to wean that too.
I realize he works but he’s still a dad. That doesn’t change bc he wants sleep. We all want more sleep but kids are a priority.
You can try to ensure Lil man has something filling before bed so he wakes less.
But I really would get him his own room. This way everybody sleeps. You can always use a nightlight to read to him or rock him if he wakes.
Never turn on the TV when they wake up! Are you kidding me? If it is fun they will continue to wake up in the middle of the night forever…
Your husband should definitely help. It is just a transition period. Yes, he will be tired next morning but it is not forever…
Toddlers understand, talk to your child about how now that he is getting older and becoming a big kid he doesn’t need mom’s milk and he can sleep all night. Be patient and gentle but do not make it fun in the middle of the night! Read some books and look up some info online to help you out with ideas on how to do this successfully and in a kind way to your beautiful child… Also if you are going through a transition you should do it the whole way and get your kid to sleep on his own bed/ bedroom
When I started weaning my almost 2 year old from breastfeeding I also transitioned her to her on bed and room it was so much easier
If your husband affords you to be a stay at home mom, and it does seem as tho you have a toddler, which means naps, I would definately try to cater to the working persons needs. As a mother of 3 I get that you don’t get that sleep back but you do get rest during the day, and if you have to, take a nap with the child. You are very fortunate not to have to work and I do think you are forgetting to be grateful of that. I don’t understand your lack of gratitude here.
I always took my kids to the living room to avoid waking dad we didn’t co sleep tho
I stayed home his sleep was more important than mine
Sounds like the 1st thing needs to be put the child in their own bedroom
OMFG! My kids dad use to work 12+hr shifts and still helped out with our babies through the night!
So yes dad should helped wean baby, they are harder to settle if they can smell milk and that’s what they are use to!! Could you transition onto a bottle instead of cold turkey no milk?
It’s up to you. Be done and be firm about it.
If your husband has some sissy office job then wake him up but if he does a job with hard manual work such as construction or heavy engineering then let him sleep.
Hes right even if its not loud it will still be bright, get your toddler in his own bed
Change the routine baby in his own room soft music playing low
Fan on dim night light
If I was you I would move but into his own cot +/- room and no TV in middle of night. Bottle of formula perhaps if hungry depending on age and perhaps out lullabies over a speaker. No TV or lights to wake them further.
Best way is to just nip it in the bud, yes it’s going to be hard but it will be worth it in the end!
Why get the kid on a schedule of waking up at night? Give them a drink and put them back to sleep.
You’re gonna get your son used to getting up at night to watch tv and think it’s ok. Put baby in his own bed so he isn’t smelling milk and give a bottle when he wakes up
Out of curtousy yes I’d take my toddlers to the living room but we dont co sleep either. But we both work so we take turns. If he is working and you’re the stay at home momma he does need his sleep too but on his days off he can get up with yalls kid
Yes. Daddy should be help with everything.
Mine is sahp and I work and if he did this while I was sleeping I’d probably kill him! If they get up at night and I have work in the morning he takes them down stairs. Make your living room cozy! We got a queen size bean bag in place of the couch so if anyone is stuck down there with the kids they’re comfortable. lol
I’m a SAHM, and my husband always helps in the night.
No he shouldn’t have to help wean the child, let him get his sleep and respect his sleep by leaving the room when the child is awake!
First things first. No tv. That’ll just wake him up more not help him go back to sleep. Also, it’s time he goes to his own room anyway… so maybe now that you’re weaning it’s the best time to do that. If he does wake up, you can go in there and change his diaper, tell him goodnight and go back to your room. (Side note; if he’s just awake don’t go in there unless he’s really crying for you) Don’t give in to feeding a toddler throughout the night. They don’t NEED it…
Our last little one had reflux. I sat out in the lounge room for hours with her. Hubby had to get up at 4am at the time to go to work. I wanted him to get to work and home again in one piece, I let him sleep. If he can’t do what he needs to do my family has no money. Not a hard choice for me.
Should just give the toddler water and put them back to bed. You’re setting up a bad habit.
Theses comments do not pass the vibe test
Some of y’all don’t have a healthy support system from y’alls husbands/boyfriends.
If my daughter woke up because she was hungry or thirsty then couldn’t fall right back to sleep, guess what… She would be brought into our bed and the TV goes on. Her dad never got mad. He would kiss her on the forehead and he’d go on the couch.
Oohhh… And he works Monday-saturday. Gets up at 6am.
Sorry lots of people are telling you to suck it up and dad needs to sleep. You need to sleep too and I imagine you haven’t been doing much of that since the pregnancy. You should push him out of the bed for saying something stupid like you get to sleep whenever you want. Obviously he has no clue what goes into your life. (I’m joking, I don’t actually suggest violence)
Yes, turning on the TV is a problem because it will become an expectation and then you’ll have to break that habit. But dad can absolutely sacrifice a few nights of sleep and walk around tired for a bit. You’ve been sacrificing sleep from the beginning. Its his turn and it’s an extremely short amount of time. Dad should take the toddler to the living room or his own bed to ensure that the child understands there is no milk, takes the comfort and goes back to sleep. This will take a little while but certainly not the amount of time you have been waking at all hours to feed him. Parenting is a team sport and you’ve been doing all the heavy lifting. Taking care of a child and home all day is work. You work too and you don’t get to clock out at the end of the day. If he can’t get that through his head and help with this one thing, leave for a weekend and leave him fully in charge, no instructions. Establish that understanding of what you actually do all day and how absurd it is for him to think you get to nap.
I have two kids. I work full time. Or every couple weeks in working full time(12 year old has cancer, so when he’s doing treatment I’m off for a couple weeks) I get up at 230/3 for work. There’s nights, I’m still waking up with my oldest all throughout the night, when I have to get up for work. Cause my oldest isn’t feeling good. Or in pain. Even when my husband’s staying up with him, so I can get sleep… I’ll still want up at least once. Because I hear him lol. But, turning the TV on at night, is a habit you’re creating for your child and another one you’ll have to break. Being a parent, you lose sleep. You don’t get a full 8 hours any more. Unless you’re lucky🤷
It sounds like he’s never had to stay up with baby, or do night feedings. I don’t think that a lot of women know that there are men that will wake up with their baby at night, and then go to work in the morning WITHOUT acting like they did mom a favor. It’s his child too. You need temporary help with something you’ve been doing, I’m guessing, at least a year. You can literally go crazy with stress and lack of sleep. I always feel like you see how much someone cares when they watch you struggle, instead of asking how they could help. Kids are all about sacrifice. You BOTH have a full time job. You should be able to tell your partner you need a little more for this specific time, and not be met with criticism or negativity. Breast feeding is hard and weaning is harder. Be proud of yourself for doing everything you’ve done.
I agree with your husband sorry, but he does get up at 6am to work. I’m a stay at home mom to an when my daughter would wake up at night I would take her to the living room. so she didn’t wake him up.
I personally feel it’s kind of wrong. In order for you to do his job, he needs you to do the one you agreed too. Maybe set up another room in the house so you and the child can sit in there when the child wakes up. I don’t feel you are in the right here at all kind of selfish to be honest
Sorry, I agree with your husband. Weaning or not, if my kids would wake up at night from newborn up and not want o be fed or they fussed a lot after, we always went into the living room so as not to wake him. It’s respect.
It don’t matter if he works or not he made that child he needs to help you with that child. He should not hold being a stay at home mom over your head because you can work just the same as him and he will still find a way to make you take care of the kids alone as long as he thinks he’s financially supporting you. Don’t let him hold financial stability over your head with parenting. It takes two to tango working or not
I kind of agree with your husband on this one, because as a stay at home mom you can move at your own pace whether you nap or not you’re not on a clock and he is. Your baby/toddler should be in his own room in his own bed and he should be weaned from breastfeeding. If you’re a first time mom, I understand your struggle, but your husband needs his sleep and you turning on the television whether loud or silent there is the light from the television that may bother him. You should talk to him and you should talk to your pediatrician, don’t feel bad because you’re a stay at home mom, but do talk to your husband about this.
Sleep in another room if you must co sleep with the baby.
Parent of 30yrs, My advice is Get the child in thier own bed.
Reading these posts make me feel lucky, my husband will wake up make bottles or whatever for our baby even though he works the next day and I stay home with our children . He understands
You both created the child you both should be a team and work together on this
I never co-slept and definitely never would’ve turnt on tv especially in same room especially at that timeof night. I know it’s hard but the LO needs to be in own bed… maybe at that point you take child into their room and put on soft light and read till he or she falls asleep… good luck!
With everyone saying this should be 50/50 and the dad should help I agree but I also feel that if he should help with the toddler and everything else that she is asking him to do when he is off then mom should get a job. They should both be taking care of house and child. That’s truly 50/50.
My question is…how old is toddler? After a certain age they should sleep during the night. If toddler is old enough, maybe offer a snack before bed. If he is waking up to eat, maybe he is truly hungry. A small snack and water should keep him full and help him stay asleep through the night. Good luck!
You need y’all’s child in the other room. You are a stay at home parent. You also need to respect your husband. He works full-time. He provides for you all. Get over it and quit being so nit picky.
I have to agree with dad on this and talk to him about it
This became an issue for my husband and me with both of our kids. I sympathize with your husband. And agree about the television. For one thing, it won’t teach your child that night is for sleeping. For another, it IS disrespectful. That being said, HE is the child’s parent as well. My daughter decided quite early on that 4 a.m. was time to get up and play. I was up every few hours nursing her. So when she wanted to be up and play, I handed her off to my husband. He was wise enough to understand that he needed to take his turn. So he would sit up with her, then get ready for work when she nodded off again. I have pictures of him having fallen asleep on the sofa with her standing between his knees, head on his thigh, sound asleep.
Your husband is right about the television. But not about the idea that he shouldn’t be expected to help out during nighttime hours. Parenthood is a partnership. That doesn’t change just because the sun goes down.
If he’s doing long shifts Monday -Friday then he should get sleep but maybe if he’s off weekend can ask for more help. I’m a single mam to two girls sometimes it is hard when have no sleeps if you want to wean off Breast try and express till little one ok with other milk etc. I don’t sleep in day when my little one naps someone times she’s asleep 10 mins some times never someone times an hour but i sort the house out while she sleeps. I would talk to him even have a little bit of water in night and even a little light in a Different room or his own room
I was a stay at home mom also and I breastfed our oldest & youngest. She’s 41 years old not and the other is 38. I was 21 years old and I wean her off at 1 year old because she bit my nipped. My husband was in the boot camp, so he was not there to help. Before he went in the military, if she woke up, I would get up out of bed and go in another room, so he could get some sleep. Pick your battles. He has a full time job. He does need his sleep. I love being a stay at home mom, so it was not a problem in our household. You are blessed to be able to stay home with your baby. Enjoy this time, it will be over soon. Get your baby a pacify that may help. How can he help you wean the baby? I did not, nor did I want his help for that. You both have a job to do. Your job is to work in the home, his job is to work outside the home. My husband did help with the baby when he got home. We had a routine and it worked for us. 41 + years later still together and happy and kids are in their own homes. We have 3 daughters. I breastfed 2 of them successful. Give yourself and him a break
First mistake is that baby sleeping in your bed. You literally have no time alone w your husband day or night. Second, every new way you use to distract from breast is another habit that will need to be broke. Get that baby in their own bed and sips of water only. You will pay dearly for several nights beaking this child’s habits but its the only way to get this done. He will scream cry and beg and you will need to be strong and dad will need to help you get through this but you need to do it. Or your kid will be nursing and sleeping with you when he’s 6. You both gotta be the parent in this situation.
I would go to the living room with mine. But if it happen often I would definitely tell the child they would not be getting up for snacks and tv. That’s a bad habit and so hard to break
I had these same issues. But I was a stay at home Mom too. I wouldn’t ask my husband to get up in the middle of the night to care of a child, but I would make the most of it when he got home. It’s a lot harder to stay awake at work, then to stay awake at home. Forget the house cleaning. Take a nap when baby does. Do the house work when hubby comes home. I would never let a child sleep with me every night. They need their space as much as we do.
I can sympathize with him being I work a ft job also. I didn’t co sleep with my son accept for on occasion so I’m not fully able to understand your situation. I would take him out of the room and have him lay out in another room. It’s hard to work ft hours and be woke up. I for one have a hard time falling back to sleep after being woke up. I would just take him out if he wakes up so your hubby can rest
Leave him for the weekend with the kid. He’ll understand you don’t get to sleep whenever you want and you’ll come back to a weaned baby.
You are both parents. Working or not, he doesn’t get to have attitude about your child waking up and needing things in the night.
It would be far better to both be involved in the weaning process with dad taking over, it would be over within a week, but NO tv or play at night, Dad needs to be left with kids and jobs to do to see how hard it is to be on duty 24/7 you certainly are unlikely to nap during the day Mums do spend their lives listening out for the children, Dad can nap when he gets his lunch break if he is that tired, most men do anyway and you only need 10 mins to refresh, if you have the room its probably time to get the child in its own room as its another difficult habit to break and then you will just be distressing the child and leaving him with feelings of abandonment
OMG this is do inconsiderate. Feed the kid
Worse tired just by putting the kid to BED with
If hes biting u it worse if your husband should make a error at work and gets his papers audios.
During the day can rest he can’t.
OMG u have a keeper take care of him.
Which means (baby bed?)
Or bath. At.night with a bottle of cereal good night
TV HOW CRUEL
If you stay home, I would not disturb his sleep. Stay at home Mom is around the clock. That’s the catch. Get him to help in the evening before bed to get stuff done. Take a nap every once in a while or everyday if you want. Even leaving the room disturbs sleep, but I definitely would at least do that.
When my daughter wakes up I just take her to the living room. And well just talk w ur husband that u also need a break, communication is the key.
I’m not sure on the parent stuff but I had to wean a very stubborn toddler and I got that nasty nail biting stuff and put it on me and she tried to once and never again after that.
Its a hard one, and I guess it depends on your set up and options within your home. My personal situation was a bit unusual due to covid, we had to move in with a relative due to their fulltime care needs which meant sleeping in the same room as our 2 children with bunk beds and a double pushed together. I bfed my son till he was just over 2 and we coslept, by which point I was back working part time and my partner full time so my partner and I worked together when needed and took turns. Personally, you both need sleep to function during the day whatever your doing so hubby is going to have to be understanding over the next few weeks (or however long it takes). Figure out a routine that works for you all and whatever your home set up allows (toddler bed, seperate room, bedtime snack before bed, no TV etc)… you both made the baby so you’re a team that should be working together and supporting eachother! Perhaps pick a time when dads off for a few days if possible and try and crack the sleep routine then.
Shame on your husband, you work full time but don’t get paid for it…
Did you every try pumping so your husband can feed baby with a bottle? He chose to have kids too right? That is the process in the months of infancy…this is the 21 century its called partnership!! Good luck sweetie
Well I certainly wouldn’t want my husband up half the night then driving to work and having an accident because he fell asleep behind the wheel.
Uhh, no. He’s a daddy, he layed down and made that baby just like you did. Your are supposed to be EQUAL. It doesn’t matter if he “works a real job.” That is his child too and he needs to help. It is far from “easier” for you to catch up on rest, coming from a stay at home mom of 3. Does he cook, clean, do laundry, try to educate your children, and juggle still trying to make time for himself? If not, then he has no right to complain. When I was weaning my youngest son, his daddy helped and it was a lot easier. Point is, it’s his child too. He should at least not complain about the ways you have to distract the baby while trying to wean if he’s not gonna do his part and help.
But don’t these guys see u have a full time job to being at home and with the toddler 24/7 give me a break this is 2020
A loving dad would sleep on the couch, no questions asked. I have had my baby daddy attack me because of our baby waking him up in his sleep. I’m sorry you have to even ask this. Yes he should be helping.
Goto work, it’s easier. U get a breather away from the kids and house 24/7. Plus u now get to say” I worked all day, Im resting. Like um—— sah dont even get their 15 minute break or 1/2 hr lunch to do as we choose. Haha good luck momma
He helped to fill the pram he should help with every other aspect.
Never turn the tv on in the middle of the night. Worst bad habit to start.
If you have a partner than that partner should help out its that simple.
Co sleeping with child is not teaching him or her to learn his her room is for bed time not mommy daddy room
Dad can wear a sleep mask and earplugs or sleep on the couch.
My hubby works a rotating shift. Sometimes days and sometimes over nights. Always 12hours. When hes days he gets up at 4. And he bas never complained about any of our 3 kids coming in to bed with us and our youngest will legit try to push him out lol. He doesnt really wake up tho man can sleep thru anything. The odd time he does wake up he helps out
Another reason I am glad I never breastfed. Let him sleep during the week with the understanding he is on daddy duty on weekend mornings so you can sleep in and have time to yourself.
He. Is. A. Father. Too. That child is both or your responsibility. Having young kids can be exhausting, that is what a lot of parenting is. He is not excused from taking care of his child because he works.
I’m going to try to say this as nice as possible. Your husband is correct. If he is working then you should be the one who gets up with the child. You should have went and laid on the couch with hi. And watched tv. The whole weaning by making your husband tend to him, is absolutely crazy. Your husband works.
Single mum here, I breastfed my little one until she was 2.5.
My little one still to this day, gets into bed with me throughout the night, that I don’t mind but you turning on the tv is just exchanging one bad habit for another…
First off you need to remove the child from the bed
Second if in his own room he can self comfort and learn to go back to sleep
U go to their room ready a book rub back
Then you need to sleep in the living room. You are a selfish women, show more respect to your husband.
Most of these comments make me really sad. The fact that a majority of these moms feel it’s solely moms job is heartbreaking and keeping us women locked in a time where child rearing is only a mother’s responsibility.
I can’t believe so many women agree with the so. I’m pro whatever works for your household but dads should help with their children period. He should at least be open to helping. I was a single mom until my son was 6 and can tell you for myself I’d rather be tired at work. Everyone deserves sleep and if he cared about it that much he wouldn’t have agreed to co sleep.
Is this really a question? Of course you should go into the living room with your child in the middle of the night or wee morning hours rather than disturb the sleep of the man who gives you the LUXARY of staying home to raise your child. Being a stay at home mom is by no means easy but there is more opportunity to get rest with you being in the home than he has in the office.
Why is the toddler not in his own room? In his own crib? If you transition him into his own bed, weaning will be easier and dad will get to sleep so he can bring the $$$ in allowing his 2 greatest assets, you and his child to be at home!!!
While I am not on board with the “well you’re a stay at home mom so you can sleep whenever”, I do say I do it better myself lol. Could I, personally, wake my husband up and tell him to kick rocks about not getting 8 hrs of sleep? Absolutely. But then I’d get woken up to ask where the sippy cups are, woken up again to ask what to put in the supply cup, again to ask if they should put sink water or fridge water in it, again to ask where the remote is, and again to ask what channel to turn on… it’s just easier to do it ya damn self. As for turning the TV on in the bedroom, I gotta agree. If you were sleeping and your spouse did something that woke you up in the middle of the night that they could have done in the other room, I’d be pretty irritated BUT I’m also a VERY light sleeper and once I’m awake, there’s no going back.
Lastly, for a toddler, you should already be working on self soothing rather than distraction for in the middle of the night. At toddler age, he should be sleeping through the night more comfortably.
Melissa Sprout you are totally correct
Diamond Scott totally agree with you
Fuck this asswipe parenting is a partnership he can deal with the slight inconvenience to help his own child smh
I know nothing about weaning a baby off the breast, but I do know co-sleeping with 2 parents and a toddler sucks ass. Best decision I ever made was putting my child in her own bed.
I agree with letting you both take some nights- you need sleep too! Sleep deprivation is equivalent to being drunk, and you wouldn’t want a drunk person watching your kid. Tv at night will stimulate your toddler and make them less likely to sleep, so perhaps a board book or other quiet toy. Talk to your spouse ( always) about how you feel and hear how they feel. A 9-5 is no reason to not help with your own kids