He could call him Biodad(:
Let your son decide.
Good for you for leaving this guy. Sounds like a narcissist, everything is about him. I would never force a child to call someone else anything. You have not done anything wrong. I would say no to the bio father.
Tell your ex to get fucking bent and if he wants a court date to make himself look like a fool so he can blame you for it later then he should make one. Stop playing nice. Your son is getting older and he is picking up on his biological fatherās bull probably more than he lets on. Donāt let him strong arm his way into making your child uncomfortable just because heās an insecure narcissist.
Do not force your son to call him dad. If heās not comfortable doing it then he doesnāt have to.
Iād leave the choice with the child and let it be
Keep all communication txt messages . keep up with dates and times he comes. Let your son decide Who he calls dad. Good luck.
My oldest is 14 and hasnāt called her father ādadā since she was 5ā¦.she actually doesnāt call him anything not even his name. He was always only a dad of convenience and then didnāt speak to her for 7 years. When he finally called her he asked why she didnāt say dad when she spoke to him and when she said idk he told her fine you call me then said his first and middle name. She told him how bout I call you nothing and hung up. Itās been like that for 2 years now and Iām not interfering. If a parent isnāt being a parent and someone else fully takes that responsibility it becomes the childās choice.
Your son is old enough to call him whatever he sees fit, shouldnāt be forced to call someone something he doesnāt want too. Keep communication via text and if he takes u to court so be it, your son will get a guardian to oversee his wishes in court
A child should never be forced to call anyone anything.
If he wants to take you to court let him do it. Just make sure it doesnāt drag your son along with it.
The issue is that he thinks just because he is the biological father; that his kid should call him dad.
I donāt see any problem š¤· in your son having two dadās if he wants it that way. I think the problem is that he is frustrated that his son doesnāt pay him attention and decides to call his stepfather that angers him.
Thereās nothing else you can do, besides ignoring him. He didnāt put the work in the early years of life with his son, he canāt have demands now about what is right or wrong. If he didnāt act right in the first place and spend time with his son regularly.
My daughter started calling my fiance Dad, he has been in her life since she was 3, so for the last 4 years. She also knows the difference between step father and biological father. Her biological father just showed back up and she calls him by his first name. Kids know who takes care of them, and if you didnāt push for him to call your husband Dad I see no issue.
Iād call the bio dad by his first name.
Just because someone created a child doesnāt make them a dad or a mum.
Just like a dad or a mum doesnāt have to be the person who created you.
Definitely let the child decide what they are comfortable with.
If he does take you to court make sure you tell the judge everything that has happened and talk to your husband about the possibility of your son making/write a statement and then talk to your son about it then you could present it to the judge.
So I can see from bio dad side it must be hurtful, If my kids were calling another woman mum Iād be hurt to be honest. Donāt see why he canāt have 2 dads though if thatās the childās wishes
And no youāre not in the wrong.
My daughter calls her real dad and step dad DAD. Remember the child must be comfortable in the end. My ex wasnāt happy that she called her step dad DAD until she spoke to the real dad when she was 10. She told her dad I know u my really daddy but uncle Derek also my daddy because he looks after me and I stay by him and mommy and he loves me as if Iām his own. That was my daughterās own words to her real dad. I. Iām extremely greatful that he understood were she was co. I g from and since then we havenāt had any issues
He should call his bio dad "Sperm donor "
Let your son do what he wants to.
No youāre not wrong because itās your sons choice. And thatās his bio dads issue that he has to live with. You canāt expect your child to call you dad if youāre not present. Once kids get old enough they figure out the truth.
Hell no. Donāt make your son do anything heās not comfortable with. My son will be 13 tomorrow and if his ādadsā side of the family wants to visit with him, I donāt make him go if he doesnāt want to. We as parents HAVE to listen to our children. What makes them comfortable and what does not. Your son is old enough to express what he does and doesnāt want. Just listen to him, mama.
Make sure you document everything that is happening with visits, when/if he shows up and all that. Let him take you to courtā¦. Iām sure he is just saying that to get you to do what he wants but I would still document everything just in case. If he wants to be a part of his childās life he should do what he has to whether it is easy or not and making it easier for him is not your responsibility. As far as the calling him dad thingā¦. Your child should do what is comfortable for him, NOT what is comfortable for ādadā. If he wanted to be called dad then he should have been/be one.
If your son is comfortable with his stepfather enough to choose to call him dad then let him! Forcing him to call someone dad even if they are biologically his dad when he doesnāt want to is not okay. Bio Dad is just gonna have to deal with it. Good luck mama and keep doing what your doing !
Itās your sons choice . To bad for the loser baby dad. I feel you been there
I think previously mentionedā¦ A child should never be forced to call anyone anythingā¦ they decide best for themselves.
Nope. My son calls my fiance (his step dad) dad. When he saw his bio dad he would,call him by his name since he had been out of his life for years to where my son didnāt know who he even was.
Itās your sons choice what to call him, xx
My kids are 11 and 5 they donāt call their bio dadās dad. My 11 year old was 3 the last time he saw his bio dad and my 5 year old never met hers. But when their come up in conversation we call them by their first name.
Court will end well in your favor. Hes a
Its the kids choice. Hes old enough to make it now. As long as you are not bad mouthing or encouraging this then its up to your son. No matter the situation never bad mouth or even agree that the other parent is bad in front of kids. They will see the truth on their own
This is the same with my kids their bio dad has been in and out for their whole child hood and I finally stopped letting that happen for the past two years well now heās begging to be in their lives after going to jail AGAIN and I was just sick of letting it happen it was draining on the kids emotionally so now Iāve left it partly up to the kids if they want to reconnect or not. Of course Iād never say to him that they donāt wanna see him and out them in anyway Iād always make it on me saying I donāt want him to see them when really itās what they want. Iāll be the bad guy any day if it makes them feel loved more. I hope this helps a little! remember just because he made them doesnāt mean they have to stay in contact with with a parent thatās toxic to them.
And if heās going the court route save save save every message write down when he actually shows up and how long he actually visits for all that it will help you tremendously in court
You should not force him to call anyone Dad bio or not
Take Him To Court Document What Was Said In A Notebook Dates And Times Keep A Record Of His Outbursts The Courts Will Fix These Problems These Are Not You Problems And Tbh Your Doing A Great Job I Went Thru Similar Situations And The Courts Will See Who The Problem Is Exās Are Never Easy To Deal With Have It Court Ordered Visits And Keep Record Of Everything It Does Help In Your Favor I Cut Those Ppl Out Of Our Lives And It Only Gets Better Stay Strong It Will Work Out In Your Favor
If the child wants to call your husband dad than itās his choice and right. He is the man filling the ādadā role. Just get all your records together and organized in case he tries court.
Let your son decide who he wants to call dad, it ultimately his choice.
I told my ex straight up that he lost the title Dad when he dropped out of their lives. My youngest only knows my husband as her dad and while hurt that another man has āhisā title, my ex knew Iād fight him tooth and nail to give my baby her peace. So, he accepts it. Tell your ex to stuff his feelings and deal with the fallout he created.
Why does everyone focus on titles? If he doesnāt want to call him dad then he shouldnāt have to call him dad. Itās stupid that grown ass adult will throw a tantrum because of a title that they havenāt earned. Start documenting everything, EVERYTHING. Keep a folder. Print out text messages, jot down times and plans and dates. Mark a calendar for the times he visits the lengths, etc. Be your sonās voice and tell him the truth āOur son has only known you for a short time. You donāt spend one on one time with him and you are expecting something to happen that he isnāt comfortable with yet. If you want him to EVER call you dad then you need to take a step back and look at things from his point of view and then move forward from there. Take it one step at a time and one day at time.ā Then get yourself a lawyer and make sure you are doing things legally.
Just worry about what your son wants. What makes him feel happy safe and secure and encourage that! Nothing else! Like you are already understanding, children start to figure out their parents are. The only persons feelings your responsible for is your sons. Support him in whoever he feels he needs to call dad and let whatever adult isnāt happy about it pout like a child. After all it isnāt about them. Itās about your child, his mental and emotional health and it sounds to me that youāve done a great job! Breathe and let the loser take you to court. He doesnāt stand a chance
Of course not. Thatās utterly ridiculous. āDadā isnāt a frivolous term that you earn by being a sperm donor. āDadā is the Man who is THERE. The one who is supportive, loving, etcā¦ I feel so badly for your son. āDadā is a title that is earned.
Let him take you to court
I doubt heāll follow through but if he does, the situation is gonna look bad on him.
As far as the Dad situation- thereās a difference in a āfatherā and a Dad. My nieces and nephew are in a similar situation- my ex brother-in-law chose drugs and that lifestyle over his kids and marriage. His kids donāt want anything to do with him, his youngest honestly doesnāt even know him. They call him by his name and their momās fiancĆ© is Dad/Daddy, but heās more of a father to those kids in the last 3 years than their āfatherā was their whole lives, and my nephew is the oldest - just turned 10, my youngest niece is almost 4 and their Dad/Daddy is the only one she has any memories of.
Heck my own exhusband (yea neither my ex SIL or I are still married in that family) barely seeās his own kids. Hadnāt seen his oldest in a year (or tried to) til June and now itās been two months again cause he just doesnāt make the effort even though he has her mom and grandmaās numbers, and my 3 year old still knows him as ādaddyā when he does call, but will also straight tell you āI donāt have a daddy, he ran awayā
And has started calling my boyfriend of the last 9 months Dad/Daddy half the time, or his name - but he takes up time with her like a dad would so we just roll with it
Dad is earned, not given in my opinion
If your kids wonāt call you dad you failed somewhere along the line and itās 100% your responsibility to fix your relationship with your kid and EARN back that title.
And you certainly donāt get to be anything other than eternally grateful that someone else stepped into the role you failed in.
I would take him to court I would let him take you to court sounds like an ass wipe and if he wants to visit his son he can find a way to make it work with two new cars itās your sons choice the car your new husband dad and that could be brought up in court till I know for a fact itās your sons choice and Iām not sure how to go about calling his actual bad thatļæ¼
DAD is a relationship and has meaning, not just a name you call someone. Your son has the option to choose that relationship, it canāt be forced on him and neither can calling someone Dad who he doesnāt feel that way about. Sounds like BioDad is having some internal struggles with being absent for so long and is projecting them onto you and your son. He should just be grateful your son is giving him the opportunity to attempt amends. Make it known to your son that it is HIS choice.
āMy version of āDadā is the person who is always in your life during your good and bad times, to help you, guide and listen to you and give you all the support and financial support that you needā. This is what his step Dad is doing and deserves to be called āDadā. This boys real Dad is only interested in his son as he is getting older. Looks like a trouble maker. Once your son turns 18 he can make his own decisions then. The other question here is, is his real Dad supporting him financially? I donāt think he will have much of a say in Court if he isnāt. Another thing is when your sons real Dad comes to visit he should come on his own and leave the extended family at home.
Tell him to stick it where the sun doesnāt shine. Itās up to your son. He can call whoever he feels is dad, dad if he wants to cal his bio dad dad thatās fine but itās perfectly fine for him to call the man that has been his father figure most of his life dad too.
Being blood related doesnāt entitled the name ādadā being a father to a kid gets you that title. Not your fault he hasnāt earned it
I think he should call his bio dad dad because that is reality. Inasmuch as it is a pain and not to your liking and I agree ge sounds like a jerk. Your son will know the truth on his own. I went through exactly the same thing with my daughter who is now an adult and she tells me she is glad I let her see him even if he only showed up once in awhile sometimes a whole year would pass, it gave her the opptunity to see hi.for who he was without blaming me
Your son should have the choice whome he calls dad,. He is not an infant now and has his own opinion of treatments between natural dad and step dad. And if stepdad is his preference, then, so be it! Bio dad doesnāt deserve to be bio dad, end of!
My daughter is 9, her bio dad has not been in the picture since she was 4 months old, she knows of him and calls him by his first name when we talk about him. Her stepfather who has been in her life only 2.5years is whom she calls Dad (her choice, she asked upon our marriage and he said yes) at this age I believe they are old enough to decide for themselves what they want to call the custodial and non custodial parentā¦
Your ex sounds like a narcissist who wants it all to be about him and has no interest in his sons interests.
Whichā¦is to call your husband dad. He isnāt 3yo, heās 10 and knows whatās going on. He absolutely does not have to call your ex dad, or anything other than his name honestly if thatās what he wants. Heās a person. He can make decisions and if you went to court, the judge would likely agree. Document EVERYTHING.
See an attorney. Not up to you to make him visit. Is child support involved? Your son should call step dad, Dad, if he wants to. His bio Dad, cant set the all the rulesā¦ see an attorney get full custody
His bio-father should have already lost custody for āabandonmentā if he really waited 7 years before even attempting a relationship.
He might be ur birth father, but he isnāt a dad. A dad helps raise their child(ren) and loves them, and nurtures them.
your son is old enough to know for him self. no one should be given a name they canāt stand behind. Being a DAD is a very important job. Maybe that needs to be explained to his bio-father.
Child is old enough to make decision. His choice never force them. If heās only a part time dad let the child call him what he wants. Looks like your son has made his decision. It takes more than being a bio dad. A dad is there all the time. Makes time for child makes child feel safe which is actually what your husband is doing
You have zero to worry about. It is on him to see his son, it is on him to be a good father. He can whine and cry and make you look bad all he wants but for the the last seven years he has done less than the bare minimum and no court will say otherwise. The ādadā name is up to your son, who he wants to call dad is who he should call dad and if bio-dad doesnāt like it, too bad. He shouldāve made an effort all those years.
Please sit down with your son and gently ask him what he would prefer. I donātsee why both men canāt be dad. You need to also practice with your son different senerios about how to explain things to his dad. Another thought, perhaps the two dads could meet and discuss. Or perhaps both dads and son could meet. But first and foremost, sit with you son and discuss and practice the options. Have practice conversations with him. This is your sonās life (and although you may not care for it, his bio father has certain rights).
He should call his bio father POPS and his stepfather DAD. The reason being his bio father POPS in and out of his life, and the stepfather earns the title DAD every day.
Regarding them visiting your house or complaining that youāre walking to a parkāyou chose to move and it would not be fair for them to drive a few hours away, drive back to their house then drop your son off the same day. Be thankful he doesnāt want to pick him up and keep him for weekends because of the distance involved. Just because āhe has two new carsā. is no excuse. Donāt be a hater because he can afford two lease payments.
Go to court and mediate this the right way. Never discuss this mess in front of your son or bash his bio father in front of him. Not a good look.
Good luck. Divorce/Baby Daddy Drama is very difficult on the child. Be easy for the sake of your son. Best of lluck to you.
Dad is title for a man who is there for the child. There when heās sick and there when heās happy. He is involved in his life. Not for a man who biological has him. And does nothing for him. Sounds like itās all on his terms. Doesnāt even sound like he wants to spend much time with him. He could make the effort on his side more. Good luck. Let him call the stepfather Dad. If that is what he wants.
No do not force son to call bio father dad. That should be his choice and no one elses.
Let your child decide what he wants to call him. My son called both dad and everyone was fine with that arrangement and our son is the one that won in that
If your child wants to call your husband Dad let him ā¦the child seems to know the difference between a Dad and a father.
Youāve made things too easy for him (probably for the sake of your sonā¦bravoā¦that makes you a good mommaā¦) Let the man take you to court, that way he will be forced to keep to a set schedule for visitationā¦keep in mind that visitation is not for Dadā¦it is for your sonā¦your son is the one who needs to have accomodations made for himā¦not for either of his parentsā¦ Psā¦ You didnāt mention any child support or palamonyā¦make sure if you havenāt dealt with that, that you doā¦ If you want, see a lawyer, and get some advice on how to proceedā¦ Thatās what I did when I was threatened with courtā¦and my lawyer beat him to it and took him to court
Note: No hurt is intended. I know how you feel. I have been through all of this. Good luck! I am praying for your family.
I think you need to see a lawyer and your son call call your husband dad or his father dad or both thatās should be up to your son
Seek the right help there is a lot out there counseling or a Mentor etc boys are hard so seek it quickly .
Continuedā¦alter being divorces for many years, I can share with you that the more you can work things out the better it will be. Please try! Discuss with son first, then spouse, then ex. For everyoneās sake try to work things out. Put anger aside. Your son will grow up and you need to set the example for him, and teach him how to work things out.
Call him father because any man can father a child but not all can be a dad.
After 2 kids (teenagers) came with my Mrs when we met 1st thing I pretty much said is u have your dad no need whatsoever 2 call me dad,you have yours,and well if they thought of me a little bit like 1,that was good enough for meā¦it doesnāt have 2 be said out loud,I donāt need the title of been called dadā¦11 years on we have a great relationship but whatever way I look at that,Iām only a step dadā¦im sure they respect me and Iāll take that,Iām not hanging my life on a title when Iām not their biological dadā¦
I think at ten years old your son should have the right to make this decision himself. Have an honest conversation with him and let him decide. Try not to let your opinion sway him
100000% the childās choice
If he thought of him as a dad he would address him as one
As proved by the fact that heās bonded with your husband and wants to call him dad instead
Custodial parent holds the aces. I had a lot of visitation issues and court rarely went my way.
Also, he that does the job gets the title.
Donating sperm does not make you a āDadā.
Up to the son as long as there is no pressure either way
Let the boy choose for himself and if things get too bad tell him itās ok to call him bio dad
Let the child decide what he wants to call him and back him in his decision
You can tell Biodad to f*** right off with that nonsense.
No, I call mine a sperm donor.
In our family, respect comes 1st. dad is called dad and mum are called mum whtr itās d bio dad or mum or stepā¦ Manners comes 1st.
Parents have their differences but kids should not get involved and loose respect. You can call parents by their name.
Itās not wrong. This guy sounds unreasonable.
How does your son feel about him? At ten HE should make the call for HIS comfort level any man can father a child but a real man raises him ā¦your ex is a
Spoiled man child
The son should have his choice !!! The bio dad sounds like a real d@&k
Your sons call on this one. But stand beside him and let him know that he will be ok. No pressure. Your ex needs to grow up and realize that his son has his own feelings and donāt have to call him dad if he donāt want to.
I call my stepdad Dad all the time and my father never once batted an eye. He understood my stepdad was the one in the home making me lunch and taking me back and forth to school. Your ex needs to grow up.
Do not force your son to call this man Dad. It will not help anything but the assholes ego. Dad is a title you earn.
Get rid of loser heās the bloody problem he sounds like ASOL
Molly Duffy this Darren?
No obligation to call bio dad.
Thatās right Brittany McNew