My son was on video chat with his “father” and called his step-dad “dad” and his father went off on him & me. Said I shouldn’t allow him to call his step-dad “dad” but I didn’t make that choice for him. My son knows who’s who. His father constantly threatens me and gets upset when I ask for help. My son said he was molested at his father’s house and yet his father blames me and said I lied. He never believes or listens to what my son says unless it’s something he feels he can use against me. I don’t lie to my son about his father. He asks and I tell him. My son has even asked me to not take him back to his father’s house because he heard him threaten to hurt me. My son was only 4. It’s a mess.
Your son is old enough to call eather man what he wants.
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First you need a lawyer, this difficult person is too much for you to deal with, with issues like this you have too have God in your life, God will fight your battles for you, if you trust in him! Don’t forget too pray with your son about his Dad! Be Blessed
Your son should call his dad dad and his sperm donor whatever he feels is right…
This is causing you a lot of stress and try not to let that stress be absorbed by your child. Children can be like a sponge in what they hear and sense is going on. The best thing the courts are to base their decision on is what is in the best interest of the child. I’d document everything BUT I wouldn’t do anything that prevents him from seeing bio dad. A mediator to ha e a few agreed written boundaries to your sons benefit in place and continue the visits. Boundaries such as how much time and activities does bio dad spend with just him when he has him or is it always gf and her kids? Than what part of the visit is his time with dad building a relationship? He complained of no relationship but what’s being done on his end specifically. This relationship with bio dad may be rocky now but may change one your son is an adult and no child should be refused access to a parent unless it’s unsafe for the child. He knows who his dad is. You two help him in navigating this positively until he is 12 and the decision is his. He’ll be a grown adult on dad and remember the actions of both parents. Be the best parent for him.
It should be up to your son how he wants to address his father
Two sides to every story. Wouldn’t be human if it wasn’t biased.
Get legal advice and keep your son in the most stable situation possible.
I’d let the son make the decision and I would make sure he knows he doesn’t have to call him dad
Have the stepfather adopt the kid and toss the bio dad in the trash were he belongs. If you can afford it of course.
Call him father, but not dad. Father is the one who spread the seed/sperm donor, Dad is the one who raised u.
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It should be your son’s choice rather he calls him dad or not to.
Your son is 10, it’s up to him and no one else. If he doesn’t want to then that’s it 
Your son is old enough to decide himself who he wants to call dad etc
I went through something very similar with my daughter. He married a woman that had a daughter already so that child grew up with him and called him dad. When he would get his daughter a weekend every 3 to 4 months it would be him his wife and her daughter and my daughter. She never was able to spend dad daughter time so she really didn’t get to know him one-on-one. When she was 10 he was killed in a motorcycle accident. I mean how do you tell your child that her dad is gone. I never bad-mouthed him. I let her make her own decisions. I would tell her don’t be mad at me even his wife would tell him get your daughter. He chose not to be part of her life. He paid bare minimum child support. When he passed he was 28 years old. He was worth more in Social Security than he was alive and what he paid. I’m sure he pays the price now missing out on everything with her. She’s 28 now I mean she still has a hole that no man could ever fill even her own father didn’t. But the situation is what made her who she is today and I never would have made it without her. So she is a young strong woman as well she’s been through enough. Your son shouldn’t be made to call his biological dad when he wasn’t around or didn’t do right by him. That should be his choice. I hope things work out and maybe there will be some closeness with your son and his dad. He should be able to call whatever man that impacted his life the most dad if he chose to I’m surprised he doesn’t call his biological by his first name. That would piss him off I’m sure. good luck. Been there done that. Hope it all works out for everyone’s benefit. Of the court knew of his lack of everything they would rule in your favor as a constant in your sons life.
Your son is 10. Can’t he decide what he prefers calling his bio-Dad? Some kids distinguish between two father figures by calling one Daddy-Tom.
No you are not wrong… its your sons call…if he isn’t comfortable calling him Dad then he doesn’t have too…and let him take you to court he is the one who is gonna look like a deadbeat…you do whats best for your son he is the only one who matters anyway
I wouldn’t worry about him calling the bio “dad” he is dad. Your son will end up calling him what he wants. As for the step dad, well that has to be up to your son. Your son will call him what he wants. Sound like bio dad is use to getting his way and his feathers are ruffled. I agree with some of the comments above let bio dad prove to court how good of a “dad” he is. Live your life and be happy. Try not to put your son in middle the court will see.
First, keep your son out of as much of the adult bickering as possible. Even if he comes to you about the basic issue, don’t start telling him all the crazy back & forth with it. Keep him out of the fray. He’s got enough to deal with & should be coming to you or your husband, not the other way around.
Second, if your son has always called your husband Dad, they have a good relationship & there’s no real reason for change, don’t change it. Tell you ex that “Dad” is taken, but there are plenty of other appropriate names left: Pop, Pops, Daddio, Papa, Father, Big Man, My Man, Daddy Bill, Daddy B, Daddy Thompson, Daddy T, Papa B(ill) or T(hompson), Papa One, Daddy One, get creative.
Third, if he doesn’t go for something like that, tell him you guess he’ll have take you to court after all. My guess would be there’s a 99.99% chance that no judge (let alone the one in the court that issued the Custody Order) is going to make a 10-yo stop calling the man he has lived with & considered his Dad for as long as he can remember something other than Dad — especially when there are lots of other “special names” that can be used for the Biological Father/Dad (maybe even BF or BD).
In fact, would be flabbergasted if such a case would ever get to court; the court would probably throw it out or insist on mediation. If, for some unforeseeable reason, it would go to trial, ask for a jury trial. Surely, you’re not going to find a majority of any group (a jury) that would find in this guy’s favor — not even from a jury of all men, especially not from a jury of all fathers. Fathers want what’s best for their children. So do courts. Given the few facts you outlined, this would not be best for your child. Your ex might realize that he needs to think that way, too — if a jury of his peers told him so!
… & if who gets to be called “Dad” is the only issue, whoever prevails (you!) will be awarded attorneys fees & court costs (probably including ad litem fees) & the fool that brings the case will have to pay for everything.
It should be left up to your child no one should make that choice for your child. He calls his step dad dad. He can call his bio dad dad too, but that is his decision no one else’s. Let him make the choice
Let the son call his dad what he wants and stop the crazy control. If they come they come make it pleasant for your son.
It’s not your ex choice what your son chooses to call anyone he is old enough to choose and he is almost at an age where he can say no I don’t want to see you
The choice is not yours or your ex’s it is your son’s choice, it’s what is comfortable for him
Your son should make the decision…he knows what’s going on.
He’s 10. It should be left up to him what he wants to call him.
no. your sons shouldn’t be forced to call him dad. the man may have had a hand in the kid’s creation- but he’s no dad. and if he doesn’t want to see his son so that they can spend time alone- then he doesn’t want to see him at all. stop the visitations. things will only get worse if you don’t.
I’m pretty sure your son has already answered your question and your ex will just have to accept it
So… you and your husband taught your ex son to call your new husband dad. Interesting. Considering the ex’s son was only 3 when you married. Why teach the child that?
Dad is a title that was earned, dedicated and respected. At 10 years old have enough confidence in yourself that you did not raise an idiot. The sperm donor is feeling guilty and sounds like a bully since the day you met him. Go to court! Call his bluff! Your young man will make the call.
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Your son is 10, he decides
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Don’t give into his whims. Take him to court.
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Nah the right to be called dad is revoked when you decide you don’t want to bring your children up 
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Let me start by laughing really hard at the audacity of absentee sperm donors 
Yes please, let him go to court and see just how that’s going to go for him, lol
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Personally I think it should be up to your son who he wants and don’t want to call Dad🤷🏼♀️
He can call his stepdad DAD. If he wants also if the stepson feel safe go ahead call DAD .
The title of Dad is earned!
Bio dad IS his dad… Children can have 2 dads…
Having sex with someone doesn’t make you a dad!
Sorry, but a being a SPERM DONOR does not you a DAD, he’s 10, he gets to choose if he wants to call Sperm Donor , “Dad”.
Nope a sperm donor doesn’t make a father
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It’s up to your son what he what’s to call him
That’s just something you can’t control. I’m sorry for your troubles 
Sounds like alienation to me
Who has time for this nonsense. Grow up. Get a spine. Geez!!
Its your child’s decision
I say that is up to the kid.
The man who has been there for him is his father!! Just cause a man can donate sperm doesn’t make them father’s… You let your son decide because he will see right through his bio parent and choose the right one… You let your son decide because it’s his choice in the end. I would go to court and get every custody arrangement on file and clear as a bell… It’s your only option… Once you stand up and fight back the bio Parent will back down. I promise you this… Even my psycho ex signed over his rights just so he would have to be hassled with child support. The moment I fought back through the law he didn’t want to fight me… When they don’t give a crap about their kids in the first place, trust me they won’t fight hard at all…
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He is still his father. He should be calling him dad. My children call their stepmom mom. She has been in their lives for 20 years. I hope you have everything documented so I’m case he does take you to court you can prove that he isn’t a a very active father.
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Let him figure it out by himself
I wonder what he calls him? 
No he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to
I’m not sure about the dad part. My mom called her dad and two stepdads , dad. It was understandable. Her dad wasn’t that active in their lives but still their dad. But step dads stepped up and were also dad to her. The fact that the gf and kids come shouldn’t be an issue. If the other kids are his, they might be excited to see their brother
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That’s up to your kid. Plain and simple.
He takes you to court, make sure you have paperwork lined up, for child support. He can’t have much of a case for anything, if you’re the primary care giver?
Do not force. But must try to explain. Must deal with reality.
That was a whole long story with a bunch of irrelevant information. You seem resentful and vindictive.
Let your son, with bio dad, decide who he’ll call what.
And do your best not to talk sh!t about bio dad in front of your kid because you told allllllll the business to the internet so we know you talk bad about him in front of the kid. Be truthful to your son, but frame it in a way that doesn’t make you seem resentful. That’s his father. You picked him. Now give your kid two adults that can parent him in a mentally healthy way. Or three. Or four, if dad remarries! Just give your kid YOUR best and don’t be petty.
sounds like your ex needs to grow up and realize that his son doesn’t and shouldn’t revolve around him. If he wants the position of dad he needs to earn it. Just because he helped minimally in the creation of the child doesn’t automatically give him the rights. Let him take you to court get a lawyer and force him to realize that he made the mistakes not you. Don’t let any man bully you or your son into something that neither of you are comfortable with.
No. It is his choice…
he should callhim B dad!
Sadly your son already knows who the real dad is. You don’t have to be blood.
Your son is old enough for the court to ask him if he wants to see his bio dad. So that means your son has his right to call him what ever he wants. Lol just don’t be shocked if he calls him dead beat.
Dad is an EARNED Name. Not a given. Anyone can make a baby and be a father, But you need to EARN THE DAD TITLE. I refuse to call my sperm donor “dad”.
Dad is the one who has been there. I found my bio dad at 10 and I do call him dad, but that was my choice. It’s the child choice.
Absolutely not. That is ridiculous. It should be up to your son
You can’t argue with stupid, so don’t get stressed let him go to court it’ll be just another empty threat, your son is at an age where his opinion would be listened too anyway, this man is dictating your life and actions from afar. It’s not your responsibility to arrange visits or activities, leave it up to him fully you’ll find he will soon back off. Dad is the person putting in the daily work and love.
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I’m not certain how your ex husband could dictate what he calls his stepfather in your own home… Can call him dad or popcorn that’s none of this man’s business… I’ve read here and learned a lot that you need to have documentation of the insanity… Petition the court for supervised visits with his father alone just he and his father… It doesn’t sound like this man is willing to make that effort and the court would see that too… If the goal is that he develop a private relationship with his biological father and it seems you’ve really made an effort to do that then the best way to do that is to get him to spend time with this man alone somehow… Your son is old enough to understand he is the biological father and so he could call him father. Keep this documentation of the childish demands…a mature well-adjusted adult would be grateful that your son has a male who cares about him and is willing to help raise him day in day out versus 5 times a year visits beginning at 7 years old… Both he and your son could attend counseling together one-on-one alone that could help heal everything and the court can order that and that he pay for it… Real adult mature father decisions … Time invested in therapy with your son to fix the wrongs of the past…and devotion of his time and money to make that happen…or Tasmanian devil hissy-fits… the judge can see clearly the difference.
Forced ??
Absoulty Never.
Let your son call the man that raised him dad. If he feels pressured, tell him to call bio, whatever he wants. My daughter calls her bio father. Lol
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I would tell your son to call him dad just to keep some peace. However, I would explain to your son why he should do so and that he can still call the man he sees as his support dad too. He had every right to feel as he does about the father he knows and is right in doing so. But his bio father is still just that, so just call him dad (or father) for that reason. Just what I would do, but you need to work out best for you and your son.
It’s whatever your son is comfortable with
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Fuck no not even a court can make your son call him Dad
Ur sons choice. No1 elses x
You can’t argue with stupid. Let him take you to court, I doubt he will even see it through. Keep all messages, but only reply if it’s about him seeing your son. As for him demanding he stops calling your husband dad. That isn’t his decision, he can demand all he likes. A judge won’t be amused by that demand especially as he only seen him 15 times in 3 years
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Your ex is a manipulative jackass and u need to stop making his visits your problem. Your son is 10, definitely old enough to understand and decide for himself who he wants to call dad and if he wants to visit the sperm donor. Tell the ex you’ll see him in court!
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Bit rich of bio dad to suddenly after almost a decade of being a deadbeat dad now wants the child to call him dad just coz he sees the child a handful of times each year.
Pfft screw that.
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He is a narcissist. He has a Dad who’s been raising him. He doesn’t have any say in that. Anyone can give sperm. Is he paying child support ? I would get with a child custody lawyer quickly.
Cut him out. He’s a narcissist and it won’t get better. When your son gets older he will try to turn him against you.
I’ll leave this up to you. What if you don’t make him aware that that is his dad, and then one day, he finds out. You will be the one he hates. Leave it up to him what he calls him, just make him aware. Your son WILL figure everything else out
I wouldn’t force any child to call someone anything they didn’t feel comfortable saying
So bio Dad is threatening court, tell him to go ahead. Call his bluff, he won’t move forward. And you kiddo can call him or his step dad whatever he wants, the court is on your side. Trust me, I’ve been through it and the courts told bio Dad, he’s the problem
Let the child call each of you what he wants. My .02
If he doesn’t consider him his dad, he shouldn’t be forced to call him that.
If he wants to call 2 people dad, that’s fine too.
Let the child decide.
Why is bio dad acting like you have power over what his son does or doesn’t call him? You can’t make him call him dad, that’s his choice completely.
And let that mother fucker take you to court and waste his money, they are going to tell him the same thing you are saying where HE needs to make the effort to come and pick up his kid, not the other way around, sit back and laugh the whole time
First up, what does your son want re his bio father?
If he’s stressed too then I suggest you cut this man out of your lives. He is no longer welcome to be involved.
He can try all he wants re courts, but his position is very untenable, given his slim involvement in his son’s life.
Don’t put up with this in any form, and let your husband, your son’s living father also set boundaries with this idiot person.
That’s what I’d do, write him saying his behaviour is a joke, how dare he demand anything. That he’s causing your family too much stress and he’s to leave you all be until he wakes up to himself.
Block him on social media and don’t read any letters he sends. ( though keep them. If he’s being abusive in them, then later they may be used as evidence if you ever need it. )
Let your son call whoever he wants “dad”. Don’t force anything on him. He will make up his own mind. Get a notebook, one that is bound. Make sure no pages end up missing. As long as the binding is intact, with no pages torn out. It is admissible in court. Write down all the visits snd be sure to include dat and time the “dad” arrived. Include any activities, conversation time spent with your son. And time he leaves. DO NOT TELL HIM WHAT YOU ARE DOING. If he does take you to court. That notebook can be entered as evidence. He, your Rx is not a father, he is a Sperm Donor. A father takes care of his child and that child is the most important thing in his life
First of all this is a private family issue and should be kept as such. You could go to a counselor, but I feel you are just trying to get people to agree with you.
Your son knows who his actual dad is and it’s not the one that got you pregnant. Bio can piss up a tree
He should Call them both dad if he chooses but the real dad is dad and should be called dad.
Fuck him let him go to court. Piece of shit where was he when he was supposed to be there. Ask for full custody and no visiting rights,fuck him.
Congrats on getting away from a selfish, childish ass!
No, it should be the young man’s choice.
Let him choose whom he calls dad …
No your son gets to decide. If his bio ‘dad’ doesn’t like it then he can just go again 
The real dad is a loser just let you son call whoever he wants dad and don’t worry
He would be told to do one. What a melt. You need intervention. And insist on one on one time not extended family time until your son feels comfortable. Then start adding in others slowly. It’s up to your son who he calls dad whether bio or non bio. As long as you start to document everything all that you go through to facilitate his visits then yiu have evidence of the fact he is a douche.
Fuck him and get a lawyer
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His bio dad ain’t a dad. He’s a fucking puke. I get when parents don’t get along, but when kids are involved, it’s pretty fucked up you don’t want to see your own son. It’s selfish and bitch made status. And who is forcing him to call him dad?
Not sure why you would spew this out with on Facebook
You moved away. Shouldn’t you also share the expense of your son visiting his father?
Your son decides. It’s his life and his bio can eat a bag of d***s. 
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