No let them see him but if they’re old then he could get away from them they cannot chase him and he could get hurt
Yes but not 50% maybe a day or two each week, maybe some day visits for a trip to the park etc.
Keep your child home just take for visits. To many things can happen. Dont put your self in this or your baby. Visit only.
Nope no way no how. I can see visits but nothing more than that. Too many things could go wrong and you don’t want regrets.
with no court order, the decision is yours. do what is right in your heart and mind.
No. Its ok to refuse. They are not legal guardians.
What does your son want and the children not what you want?
All you young parents sure don’t get the age thing but you will one day…age has nothing to do with capability, patience, knowledge, or responsibility
I am a great- grandmother & I can assure you I would not want the responsibility or work of caring for a 2 year old full time😊
It’s best to get a lawyer now… let them know what they want to do… Your gut feeling is telling you NO don’t do it. follow your feelings on this. Do not let his grandparents take him. with all this C-19 going on… it is best that you have your son at this time. The great grandparents are too old to care for an active little boy who is now beginning the stage of being 2 years old… "The terrible twos Stage " will be too much for them. Please keep your son with you. Please!
Get to family court and obtain custody of your children right away.
No ! You keep him and let them see him whenever they want ! That’s just my opinion.
Visitation yes, half the time no
Do what you feel is best for your son.
No they are to old to keep up with him
I am 78 and my husband soon will be 80…we have three greatgrandkids all under three years old, and we love love seeing them and have them visit. But there is no way we could take them for a week…maybe for the day, but that’s all. We are just not able physically to handle them. You didn’t state their age and physical abilities. That makes a big difference.
Honestly would wonder how often his grandparents are the ones to take care of your son instead of your son’s father.
No way!!! You are his mom.
It’s your child, you make the decision.
Glad to see you can co-parent without court orders. But in this case I would say your child belongs with you while dad is away. Talk to the great- grandparents about arrangements for visitation. Like one day per week or every other weekend.
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I would do what u feel comfortable with. If they wanna take him Maybe over night once a month or something just so they can see him, I dont see a problem with it but its up to whatever u want…
I feel like if they are older and have some medical conditions… it would be way too hard on them and their bodies chasing after your LO every other week for a full week. To me, I feel like that’d be unfair to them. I think if anything, you should let them still see him on a consistent basis though. With LOs dad going away for national guard, he needs a “constant”. If they ask to have him for a “sleepover”, I’d be okay with that. I just feel like it would be too hard on the great grandparents… besides, they are great grandparents. They should remain being great grandparents and not having to care for LO for a full week-every other week until mid April. It just would be unfair for great grandparents as well as it would turn into being unfair to LO when great grandparents are too tired, sore, exhausted, etc. to get down on LOs level and play. - maybe if they truly want to see him, do an every other weekend or do one night every other week where they keep him overnight or every other week for a few hours during the day but he always comes home In the evening.
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If it were me in the situation, I would keep him for the majority of the time, if they would like every other weekend (Saturday morning - Sunday afternoon) I wouldn’t have a problem with that as long as I trusted them to care for him. You could also add in a day during the week on the weekends he didn’t go visit.
He’s very young and can’t really tell you if there’s a problem… Very nice of you to offer to share your time with them but I don’t think a week at a time would be appropriate, at his age…
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Stay out of the courthouse. We all know he will be reduced to a 48 hour dad. It’s all a money pit. Keep doing what you’re doing and let the grandparents have the child if only a couple days so you can catch up on your things.
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I would let them visit with your son, but as you stated they aren’t a legal guardian. This means they can’t really do much if he has a medical emergency in their care or anything like that. If they have him half time that raises the chances of him getting hurt or needing medical care. You also stated they are old with medical issues themselves. This raises the likelihood of them having a medical emergency with him in their care. Besides that, they don’t have any legal right to your child. You aren’t obligated to let them have your child. I would not bar them from seeing your child though. Maybe arrange some weekend visits or something like that.
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Since you don’t have any court order you’re not obligated to let him or anyone else have your son. It’s 100% upto you how much time he spends with dad & family.
How do the grandparents feel about this? Personally I’d tell him no. They can set something up with you. I feel like this is his attempt of getting out of child support. I’d be going to court & applying for sole custody. Since he’s in the service & can be gone at any time for any amount of time you need sole responsibility of decisions. 50/50 custody is just not feasible.
Include the grandparents…they kids see it differently than you.
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I wouldn’t go half the time. Take him to see them but he goes home with you until dad is back, just stick to that no matter what anyone says. Don’t do 50/50 till dad is back
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Ummm no way… I would not be sharing custody with the grandparents. I would make a deal that your child can visit every other weekend to keep them in contact but that all they they would get out of me. You didn’t make a child with his parents and I can tell you a judge wouldn’t disagree
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Nope. Especially no during a pandemic. Freaking no brainer…
Wtf do yall just act like this is not going on still
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No … if they have been a apart of his life then he should still be able to see them but as far as 50/50 they are not his parents it should be at ur discretion when and for how long they get to see ur baby
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Without a court order the mother retains FULL custody of the child(ren), regardless of past arrangements, unless said mother has abandoned the child(ren). You have every right to refuse this request and come to an understanding with his relatives during his tour. Do not feel forced to do this because the grandparents have no legal authority to demand this.
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Your little is at a sensitive age, I think his dad is thinking keeping the routine will be easier than getting him to adjust to a new routine and then adjust back to the old routine when he returns.
If we’re being 100% honest, this actually has merit. Many many little kids develop behavior problems around major changes like this.
However, depending on thier medical issues and the severity it’s a truly valid concern, that they may not be able to handle a young child alone for a week straight.
Perhaps…
-enlist thier help as child care if/when you’re working and/or busy. or if that doesnt apply let your child spend the day at thier house on his dads weeks but come home to you at night.
So there a semblance of the routine but you could feel more comfortable.
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Why not?
It keeps him on his schedule which is most important. And then also allows his father’s family time to spend with their grandson. What’s the big deal if he’s already going to that same place on 50/50 schedule as it is?
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If it were me I’d be keeping my child and having them go there every other weekend. But I dont even like my kid babysat by other people so im weird like that.
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Why not ? If they are up for it. Be thankful…a lot of us have 0 extended family and the face they are wanting your son that often is amazing.
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Nope. Keep the child with you. You get one chance with children. Due to their health conditions and their age I dont think they’d be able to keep up with your little one and anything might happen. Let them visit but not have them care for the child independently xx
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I think maybe every other weekend is fine but not half the time.
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They are older with health issues, dad is not there…What happens if the child out runs them? What happens when they have complications and fail to properly care for child on that 1/2 time requested? No. I would tell them thanks for the offer and tell dad no because that is a risk that shouldn’t be taken. First off it puts stress on elderly, child at risk, and also it’s still a pandemic. If things got better, let him visit with you there a few hours maybe on the weekend but kiddo is too young to be with elderly with health problems by himself too long.
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I would allow it. They have a right to spend time as well. It will also help to keep kid on the schedule. Plus the kid probably loves the grandparents. When my ex deploys his new wife still gets my girls every other weekend. Because it’s what they are use to. They love her and their step sisters. I would never take that away.
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He’s too young to call for help if anything happened to the great grandparents maybe a weekend or something every once in a while but I wouldn’t do 50/50 it might be too much for the grandparents
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I would certainly make sure they had access to him and the bond was maintained. But half the time? No way. They aren’t the other parent. Our courts here in NY very often do a first right of refusal- if one parent can’t be present with the child for a certain period of time or longer - they must give the other parent the first opportunity at that time before asking a babysitter or extended family. I don’t think any court would continue your current arrangement.
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I’m not sure what I’d do if this was me. The child is less than 2 yrs old, so he’s not going to have an opinion one way or the other … he just wants to be loved and cared for. At that age, a child can be a handful. Babies and toddlers tend to go through sniffles and colds and their caregiver needs to really be in tune with any health issues that might come up. If the grandparents are older and have health issues of their own, it could be a challenge for them, but I think they would be willing to recognize their own ability (or inability) to care for the child.
Family is very important, but routine is also very important for children. If the child has been use to having the grandparents in his life, I don’t see why that should change … especially if daddy is going to be gone for an extended period of time. The less changes for the child, the better.
I’d say you need to contact the grandparents, and work out a suitable solution between the two of you.
Children shouldn’t have to suffer a loss while their parents are going through life adjustments. Sounds to me like daddy is trying to improve his life by enlisting in the military service … and possibly starting a newer, better career path that will allow him to better provide for his child. Even if you aren’t together as a couple, because he is your child’s father, you should want to encourage him to be a better father and provider for the child. It’s a win - win for you and your child.
Good luck.
Maybe the weekends or something but not that much time.
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What about compromising and doing every other weekend for the day. Or perhaps agreeing on a specific day each week they can take him for the day?
My husband and I aren’t separated, but we both work so my father in law watches our toddler part time on the days I work. I am currently expecting and will be going on maternity leave in April, so my toddler won’t be seeing his Grandpa as regularly as he was and I know they both absolutely adore each other and enjoy each other’s company so we are planning on days where it’ll just be “Hudson and Grandpa” days.
There’s nothing saying if you do this that it needs to stay this way if you are finding it’s not working for you guys, but I definitely think some form of compromise should be made. Family is important and it will also give you a small break as well which you might actually enjoy.
If you are worried about medical concerns I would just stick to him going for the day or a few hours and not overnight. Or if they are close with you and you guys are in good terns perhaps you could sleep over with him one day a week.
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No they don’t need him half of the time. Definitely allow them to see him occasionally when they ask but if his father isn’t around you should have him full time.
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Maybe not half of the time, but I think the grandparents should still be able to keep the child for some of the time. It’s important not only to your son but also for the grandparents to form a bond together.
I would either let them see him every other weekend or possibly just during the day times but not overnight since the grandparents have medical problems.
I would look into your state laws. Few states allow grandparents rights. However, you are his parent and don’t have to allow anything you don’t want. So unless they actually go as far as to sue your for partial custody, I’d just tell them you’re not stopping them from being in his life, but every other week is too much and all they gotta do is ask. Kids need stability. If he were going there as part of your agreement because his dad lived there and he’s no longer going to be there, you’re not obligated to continue the agreement that was initially for the dad, not them.
Every other week for the whole week is too much IMO. I would say every other weekend (or a couple days during the week if that works better for them.)
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Baby’s to young and to be honest you don’t have to legally. Id set up visitation with them though but no overnights. Baby’s to young to be doing overnights with anyone other than mom or dad. Maybe weekly visitation, they can take him and bring him back.
Grandparents do have legal rights to see their grandkids. But maybe you could work a schedule that could work for you? Don’t keep your baby from his family
You need to get a court order. My parenting plan states the children return to me while their dad is deployed. My husbands order states any adult he deems fit can have his girls.
For reasons of health and safety alone, I do not think that it’s a good idea that great grandparents taken care of him. These are older people and like others have said it’s not safe for your kiddo and, honestly, should not be forced on them. I would offer to let them have supervised visits until dad gets back.
No. Thats time away from his mom for no reason. Sure if they want to keep him for a night here and there thats okay but I would not be doing every other week, thats silly.
They should get him for his time but I wouldn’t force it. Someone needs to get the kids for his time and there is a grandparents law so I’d just offer and let it go from there
I dont know about 50/50 while he’s gone but at least a few days a couple times a month. No need to be all technical about legality if y’all aren’t that way. The kid is used to seeing them and disrupting that too much can be harder for him emotionally not to mention the emotional benefits to both child and grandparent of spending time together.
Being a great grandparent myself, I would love to see all my babies but to be responsible for one for any length of time is a no. I would say to take your child to vist for the day but no overnights or long term.
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Id say every other weekend they can have him. Maybe not a full week.
Sit them down tell them that since he’s so young you would like to keep him . But definitely try to set up a schedule. How far away are they. Could he have dinner once thru the week or maybe sit with them if you need a babysitter and maybe letting him go stay on Friday night’s every weekend. That way you get a break he gets to see his grandparents and you would still have Saturday and Sunday to do weekend things with your child. And make sure you encourage them to call and talk with him. They are going from seeing him a week at a time to whatever time you set up so try to compramise…
It this child’s great grand parents not grand parents
I don’t think half is what should happen. If you completely trust the grandparents, then maybe set up 1 or 2 set days/times a week. However, they are not the legal guardians. I think trying to compromise with set times/days is good, but 50/50? I would say no. However, it really depends on your full situation. It sounds like you don’t agree with it, but there should be a compromise on both sides. The dad should understand because he needs to put himself in your shoes. Would he do the same if you left and you wanted half the time spent at your parents? Most likely he would argue. If your son was older, maybe it’s better if he went over there more. But your son can’t even really talk and express his emotions. He should be with his mom if he can’t be with his dad half the time.
Absolutely not. If they would like him for a sleep over then by all means but not for a week at a time every other week.
You could be sabatoging yourself by refusing this. If he’s had your child half the time that means that your life is structured to accommodate this. If you need a sitter now that could be a bad thing. Unless you feel your son won’t be safe (you didn’t say how old the child was. Which does definatley make a difference ) I would try to keep it as normal as possible in this time of stress. And it is your choice although I have a feeling that I’m this case due to your adamant opinion of the situation. You may not be able to go back on it if you change your mind depending on how long dad is gone you may need them. I would try to maybe at least give yourself every second weekend off if they’ll help. Or maybe ask your child. They did raise the dad so unless the child is under five you should be ok. Hugs. There’s no easy answer.
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Ultimately your decision. I would let them keep your son but not 50/50. If they are good to him, let them help you. Maybe every other weekend and babysit in between, if needed. That way he can keep the relationship with them. It is your call but maybe 90/10 or 80/20 would work.
Ya that would be a hard No!
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I would say no to 50/50. They more than likely are elderly & it’s too much for them to handle a two year old. I would mention that to dad but tell him you will take him to visit at least once a month. You have to think of your child & his well being.
Grandparent here yes , if I want to and his dad wants it also
Uh, no. They arent his other parent. Tell him no way.
try not to disrupt his life/schedule . Allow them to help you. your son needs all the love he can get.
If that’s what they want I let my son’s grandparents take him every other weekend for over a year as long as they can handle it
You already know the answer to this. 
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I would not let him go but I would tell them that they can see him anytime. They would probably like that better since the dad won’t be there to take care of the child. Talk to the grandparents yourself and work things out. If your ex throws a fit then remind him that you don’t have to let him have the child 50% of the time and you’re just thinking of the child.
Don’t make it contentious. Take him there frequently, maybe for a sleepover once in a while. Toddlers are a lot of work and it’s unfair to put that burden on his parents for a week at a time. Speak to the parents directly and offer to work out frequent visits with them. Make sure you are nice and accommodating, even if you don’t want to be. They will submit once they see what a great job you are doing involving them in your son’s life.
Just let them take for a weekend maybe…Your the parent so u decide
Only you can say if you are in the wrong for handling it a certain way. All we can do is offer opinions on how we would handle it. The father probably is asking so the great grandparents have a piece of him while he is gone… Purely speculation though… Could always check in on a daily and reinsure them that you are always willing to take the child back if need be…
No , he is yr son and u need to keep him safe and u also for piece of mind ,
Have supervised visit with the grand parents
That way u will be at ease , god speed to u
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Just take your son from time to time so they can see him but no don’t leave him
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No I don‘t think it is cruel. Visiting for a few hours with you there but a a full week nope.
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I’d reach out to the grandparents and set something up that will work better for them. I’d tell him that too. That you want to make sure the time they spend is at their enjoyment and what they can handle. A toddler is a handful at that age.
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I think his age is vey young for 50% for one thing if they are older with medical problems it quite possible they will get tired. Remember the joy of a grandchild is being able to take them home. I say that being a grandmother who loves her two granddaughters so very much. I wonder though when your son is there who does the primary care of him. I suspect the grandmother/grandfather does most of it. but his father is there to lend a hand. Give them extra time but mostly you keep them…
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I think that’s a great idea your children will get to spend time with their grandparents!
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I wouldn’t do 50/50 with grandparents even with my kids now and they are older than your son (7&9). They are not parents or guardians and are not raising the boy (unless he is being left with them the majority of the time he is supposed to be with his dad…) Absolutely discuss a visitation schedule with he grandparents, but your son should be sleeping at home with you every night while his dad is away with the national guard.
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I’m a great grandparent and in good health but I would not be able to take care of a young child on any kind of extended basis. A few hours at a time would be ideal. He has to remember that his grandparents are not young anymore.
Work something out where they fan see your son once or twice a month, but they are too old to take care of him for an extended time. He’s entering toddler stage which, as all parents know, is a constant activity stage.
I am a great grandparent 81 yrs old. I love my great grandson but I don’t think I could keep him for long periods of time. Just not physically able. Why not let them have him for an afternoon once or twice a week
Absolutely not. Allowing them to visit with your son at times is more than fair. The only reason he “lives” with them part of the time is because that is where his father resides, not because they have any right for him to. They could go to court to try to establish grandparent rights, if that is even a thing in your state, but he would likely be back before the case ever saw a resolution. Don’t let them bully you.
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My grandparents watched my daughter when she was little when I was working. Only a few times overnight because I was in the hospital. Once I had my first son she couldn’t really handle both a new baby and a busy walking 1 year old.
As a mother it is your job to keep the child safe…if the great grand parents are older and you are worried…do not give your child to them for months…
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I agree that you need to talk with these great-grandparents obviously they love the child. Just make arrangements where you feel comfortable and you feel it still Fair obviously they helped him when he has the baby but honestly I think a whole week visitation with great-grandparents is a long time. You would probably have to grant them permission for certain things as if the baby had to go to the hospital or something
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Not at all. Your sole responsibility is to your son. Visits, sleepovers on occasions is great in my opinion. If his great grandparents have any respect for you and your son, they know he needs to be with a parent the majority of the time.
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I would let them see him occasionally when they request. My bet is they won’t request daily. Maybe a daytime of shopping or work for you then pick him up. It is a lot of work to care for a little one they don’t need a whole week. It seems it would be to much for them.
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Talk it out with the grandparents, They may only feel they are able to have him a few hrs a day for a visit. Don’t make it harder on everyone than it has to be. I’m sure they love him to pieces,too.
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I’m a great grandmother and love mine with all my heart and would thankful for two days at a time that is long enough for one that young to be away from mom sad that he has to be away from dad that long at that age they shouldn’t be with with either parent that long without seeing the other
I dont think a week at a time would be good for the great grandparents. Maybe an overnight on the weekend or even just a day. The baby wont forget them and vice versa. This doesnt have to be arranged in advance and youd be the one working with them so you should be the one to work it out.
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This may have been his idea without input from the Great grandparents. If they are in your local area, I suggest talking directly to them about setting up a schedule where they can take him for a couple hours rather than days on end.
I think that he’s too young to be there for a full week. I think over night a few nights maybe but talk to them and see how they feel about it. They may not want that responsibility I know mine don’t and I just joke about a visit like that.
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Great grandparents are too old to care for a young child. Let them visit while you are there with him. They could get in a medical emergency. .your son is too young to cope with that.
Grandparents love grandkids, they will be happy to see the kid,…by love, not like obligation or by order,… They already grow their own kids.
I would try to work something out with them. BUT I would take COVID into consideration, how often are they out and about or having other visitors the same for you and your child. Maybe an evening or weekend while he is gone? I would hope that they would be grateful for what ever visits that they would get.