Should my sons grandparents get him half of the time his dad is gone?

I say no. They can visit with him but they shouldn’t hsve him half of the time. He is too young. Since there is no custody order it is your decision. But I do think you need getting a court order.

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I think you are looking for validation on your thinking. A child that age is very active and I believe the great grandparents would realize this very soon. I believe you have the right answer for your child. You are not being cruel, you have given the solution for them to see baby and when they want to. Stick to you guns , you have to do what is right for the baby.

Set up something agreeable for everyone, a child cannot get too much love and a peaceful arrangement. That’s of course if the grandparents are a good and safe place for the child

I would never ever let anybody babysit my daughter, let alone take her for a week, NO WAY !!! Nobody should be taking care of our child besides me or my husband: not my mom, not my husband’s mom, not any relatives & definitely not babysitters. My daughter is 14 years old, has never been babysat by anybody, besides me or my husband.

Give him a compromise so that they can still see him but not as long. There is nothing wrong with more people to love your son and hopefully his dad will see you are working with him for what is best for your baby.

Whatever the court has ordered should apply. I don’t know how old the great grandparents are, but speaking from experience, it’s very physically difficult to care for and keep up with a child that age.

If this is a big issue take it to family court, agree that they can spend some time with him With you there as great grandparents with health issues cannot keep up to a young child and it spells disaster. It will be your soul responsibility to protect your child. Dont withhold the child from seeing them as they are important in their lives as he gets older but you are the person responsible for the safety of your son.

A full week every other week with a (almost) two year old is a lot to put on an elderly couple. Maybe try every other weekend. That way they feel included but not overwhelmed. And it gives you a much needed break!

I would suggest a every other weekend… that still gives them time with your son and will help with the transition when dad returns, but isn’t out right saying no either.

I’m 62 and I watch my grandkids a lot. As much as I would love to give my daughter a rest for a week, it’s a lot of work to take care of a two year old. I’m not as fast as I used to be. I have let my daughter know that it’s getting harder for me to take care of little ones. I watch them during the day for a few hours. I do occasionally take them for a weekend. But an entire week would be out of the question. For the safety of the kids.

Ummm noo lol
They are great grandparents. For 1. They are elderly and your son is a toddler. A toddler takes a LOT of looking after. That sounds like just asking for someone to get hurt.
2. Your son is a toddler. It would be confusing and upsetting for him to be away from both parents 50% the time.
3. Your Mom. Not just mom but his main caretaker. Even Dad has only been around 50% of the time for a few months. What you say goes. If you don’t feel comfortable then don’t let it happen.
I would absolutely involve them in your lives while dad is away. Day trips. Weekends But it should be VISITS.
That way they can maintain and strengthen their relationship. But its not their child it’s not their responsibility or right to have them 50% of the time.
And I would wonder how healthy of a relationship you have with them.
Family other than parents can go for partial custody even if the parent is fit if they prove a history of a deep relationship and it would be harmful for the child to be cut off.
Especially if Dad is in something like the National Guard and is gone a lot and unable to take child to see them.
Im not saying they are setting things up for a future custody case. But im saying its possible.

I would give them visitation, maybe an over night, but not any longer.

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Since they are older, a whole week with a baby would be too much for them. Did they agree to have him for a whole week? I would ask them and if you don’t feel comfortable, don’t do it. However, let him spend a reasonable amount of time of them. If he is well taken care of, it is good for him to see his father’s family.

Why does every parent want to make it hard on the child they are the ones that matter and if he has been spending half his time with he dad who lives with his parents why change that

Even if they go to court call me they won’t get grandparent rights because the child I think it’s a year would’ve had to have live with them. Plus they’re up there in age and has medical issues. You don’t have a court order so even you doing 50-50 you don’t have to

You need to talk to the grandparents personally I think it might be too much for a full week 24 - 7 good luck

It depends on where you live. Florida statute actually said that the parent in the military gets to decide where their child goes when it is their time to have them. You need to look at the laws of your state pertaining to custody.

I don’t think you should deny the child the opportunity to spend time with his grandparents… It is good for him

Maybe talk to them and set up a day or two a week to have him. I would try to keep his family involved even if the father is gone. Count your blessings that they want to be involved in his life.

I absolutely agree with Wendy Knight. Toddlers are a hand full esp for older grandparents.

Did know one read the message. It’s the child’s great grandparents. I’d say no however I would take the child over there to see them as much as possible.

Why not let the child bond and develop relationships with the Dad’s family, like you would your family? As a child of divorce, my mom kept me from my Dads family. I could see my dad, but couldn’t stay the night even, with aunts, uncles, and cousins. I barely know them, and it saddens me. My mom may have felt good about her decisions, but it was at my cost, of not knowing my dad’s side of the family, which in the end, is what I wanted. I too divorced, and never kept my son from his fathers family. He has well rounded relationships, with both sides of “his family”. Grow up, to the people who keep their kids, from the x’s family. I believe it makes you feel better, but not your kids.

No. You are the parents let them visit but they shouldn’t get parental type visitation.

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I have my 2 great grandkids 3 yrs & 4 months old almost every weekend. I can say with certainty that having them for a whole week every other week would be a huge undertaking. I took care of my great grandson 100% for the first 2 yrs as my granddaughter lived with me and a lot of issues which she has thankfully overcome. It is a lot of work.
Also I think it would be hard the going back and forth especially if he doesn’t have a close relationship with the grands. Maybe when he gets older but I think he is too young right now. Perhaps try a weekend here and there till he is older.

Keep the routine, the bond will be strong and you will fell better about it. He is already going to feel like his dad was ripped from him, don’t make him feel as if everyone was.

No. They can see him and have visits but not be alone solely while the dad is gone. If they are elderly with some issues, they could have an accident with him. Babies are quick, and elderly people aren’t quick. Also, you are the mother. You have sole custody. It is what you decide. You can pay out a plan to visit with them with your son, but definitely wouldn’t leave him alone with them.

I would suggest 2 days a week visit. Then they can bond with him love him and send him home. And you can both se up a weekly schedule to accomodate each others needs… work, drs ect…

grandparents yes, great grandparents would be too much for them to handle. maybe a drop in visit once a month.

Compromise, allow them to keep him on weekends or just one night a week. Maybe your son brings them happiness or in some sense a reason to get up and move around. If you are not far, check up on them. Kindly let them know, the discomfort you have with their health issues but you are willing to compromise with one night a week.

Stick to your guns! He is still a baby and needs to be with you, not elderly, infirm, great-grandparents. Sounds like the father isn’t too stable himself! Do what is best for your baby!

Maybe start with weekend sleepovers to make sure they can handle the child alone. They might be happy with just weekend

From what I read, I would say let them see the child when you feel comfortable with it. It doesn’t have to be 50% of the time. You might want to think about getting something in writing about custody. Only because things are not going to get any easier. This way there is no problems in your future.

Just another selfish mother trying to have all control amd keep dads family at arms reach…Be real careful cause he could take it to court and his family can receive his visitation while he is away…Your opinion of his situation is irrelevant you didn’t have a probelm sleeping with him to make the child so don’t judge him now…I bet your getting mad child support though aren’t you? His father family deserves to continue a relationship with the child period…Children are not paychecks or control pones for women to use against a father…I hope this father and his family take it to court amd they get his time while he is gone…Grow up…

Do you live close? How about daytime visits once or twice a week. They would see him enough to not feel left out and you would feel safer.

I think if I were you I would have a sit down with your ex and the grandparents. I would tell them how thankful you are that your child is so loved, but you are concerned that he may become to much for them to handle for such long periods of time.
Tell them you would NEVER keep him from them simply because he needs them just as much as they need him.
I would suggest sleep overs, but 1 night a week instead. Tell them that you want them to have lots of time with him, but you know how much a child can wear a person out, and certainly don’t want to take advantage of them while your ex is gone. Tell them you will be very flexible about giving extra time if they would like it, but 50/50 could be a lot on them and would like to be considerate of their age and health also. Then end your comment with,our son loves you so very much, he needs you long term, I don’t want this deployment to exhaust you and have it effect your health and risk him losing someone he cares so deeply for. Tell them how wonderful it is to know that you have help while your ex is gone, and that your sure that as long as you keep the lines of communication open you will all have time with your son that you can fully enjoy without it becoming overwhelming.

Ask them how they feel about it. Maybe a day or so each week. So many grandparents miss out on so much. Do what you think is best.

I’m 73, still working, but I couldn’t handle a child that young, for that length of time. It’s way to much energy, old people don’t have that.

No, I would let them visit with him but your obligation of 50/50 ends with the dad of the kid. Even if 50/50 was court ordered, no judge would even agree to that.

I don’t care how young you feel, once in your 50’s a toddler for more than a couple hours at a time is just too tiring!

I’m 61 and take care of six grandkids. But I’ve been around babies my whole life. The other grandma can’t handle three hours with the little ones she is 72 and and had not been around as many babies as me. Take the baby to visit but no I wouldn’t leave the baby anything can happen

That’s Abad situation I know I raised mine for six years since he was about six months know he’s eight his mom has him and his dad gets him but his dad has made a remark twice that he will come get him while he’s her so I call his mom to get his dad straight if you disagree with his dad he gets a temper but they had their fun partying when he was a baby now I guess I’m the bad guy and another reason I think it’s sad I had a daughter pass in 09 she had a two yr old son he turns 14 the 19 I haven’t seen him in a few years his dad won’t let me I never got to see him over a month at a time

Ask the great grandparents how much time they would like.

No grandparents dont legally have any rights with grandchildren except 1 day a month. It is up to you if you want to share days. Michigan has no rights to grandparents law.

What about 1 day a week. That would give you a time you could go shopping, cleaning your house.

Sounds like he’s trying to get out of a possible child support increase…

I would visit the grands and see how they do with the child starting out… if they seem ok with him start with day visits,then sleep overs,only if you’re comfortable

Sounds kind of selfish to me, what if his paremts dont have much time left? Tomorrow isn’t promised

No, I think its understandable & how was the child getting back & forth? That is a lot of dropping off & picking up, seems better arrangements should be made regardless.

In michigan grandparents don’t have any rights. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it

That is your son. Give visitation to them but this 50/50 is nuts.

Check to see if your State has Grandparents rights. Indiana does!

Try it out for every other weekend and see how it goes.

Grandparents are grandparents. They don’t have to raise your kids!

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I think that you are the number one parent you should make that decision

If they want to see your son - they can come to you and visit. Even grand parents have NO Visitation Rights.

I honestly think you need time with your son. Do allow them to come an visit him at your house. BUT DEFF. DONT LET THEM HAVE HIM.50/50.

I think your plan is best let them see him at their request on his week

I would include the grand parents as much as they are able.

Oh definitely should see him regularly as long as they’re ready and willing! :heart:

He’ll yeah!!! I would. Family is family. As long as he’s good with them why not? :woman_shrugging:

I would still let him visit not whole weeks. Maybe a weekend over night here and there.

Yes he deserves it your son had every right

Yes, I would turn it down.

That is not part of the court ordered agreement.

Nope. Your obligation is to your child’s safety.

If they can take care of him yes let them.

I say sometimes grand parents take better care of the kids than parents. Just have communication and share your concerns… you can work this out! That child is so loved!!

Do what’s best for the baby mommy, that’s you

No visits but not 50/50

My son moved to California and my grandson is in Mississippi. My grand son’s mother told us we can only come get him if his dad is with us. My son lives across the country and won’t be home frequently. Needless to say the baby won’t get to know us well. He’ll also miss out on a lot of things that we do for our other grandson. I refuse to ship gifts to a child I can’t see. I think its inconsiderate of her but like they say grandparents have no rights.

No they can have him here and there.

One night over each weekend.

Your kid and his kid and your responsibilities

A couple weekends maybe not the whole time

No!
But please let them see your child

As a grandmother myself I would say speak with the great grandparents and tell them that you are willing to let them be with the baby whenever they request it, unless you had plans, and I think it will work out well. Open communication is key. They need to know you won’t take him away. All they want is to be a part of his life. Let them have that!

Mom comes first. Let them visit not have him fifty fifty. Why should you even ask. You are the Mother.

Talk to the grandparents

Wow. Lots of really bad advice and age discrimination here.
Love is never too old.
Fuck you all for being so cruel.

No do u feel u need too