Dump him NOW!!! He will never change only get worse. YOU d serve better.
I have no problem with it. If you’re secure in yourself and your relationship then it wouldn’t be a problem. It is not cheating.
4 Likes
Never expect someone to love and respect you more than you love and respect yourself. Start by treating yourself the way you want to be treated and do not settle for less from anybody. It all starts with you.
How would he feel if wanted to go to male strip club? Or all male “Thunder Down Under” show?
Get rid of him!!! I know these types of men too well!
I tell my girlfriend it’s ok, at least she has a job !
I have realized that it comes down to having unrealistic expectations of how someone was morally raised.
I disagree with my man going to a strip club while we are in a relationship. However, almost every guy watches porn, goes to strip clubs etc whether they are in a relationship or not.
Backstory:
A man I was with for over 4 years and I walked into a country bar. I went to the bathroom, came back out and he was gone. I starting walking around and realized that the country bar led into a strip club. I walked into the strip club and there he was, standing there front and center, watching a woman flick her clit, completely naked.
I lost my shit.
My drunk self then took off my shirt and started walking around the bar.
Let’s just say that I made way more money than the stripper that night. I then walked out of the bar with stacks of dollar bills, $20’s, & $5’s etc…
He followed me out.
When we got out to the car, he had the audacity to tell me “that made me so uncomfortable and I wish you wouldn’t do that”
I am a “get even” Bitch.
Not saying it’s right, but damn, these fools want a loyal, dedicated, hard working, honest woman, but have no problem watching or texting other women to satisfy their needs?
Haha NO
Just putting it out there, do you think you being so insecure about yourself is making him want to go because you’re not body positive about yourself? No guy wants a girl who is insecure. They want a girl who is confident in themselves. You need to start learning how to love your body, and yourself to raise up that self esteem, don’t wait for him to make you feel good. Also if strip clubs bother you that much why don’t you go with him and have a good time. Hell even get yourself a dance but not him. I guarantee you that he will enjoy watching you enjoy yourself.
4 Likes
He’s telling and showing you that you’re not compatible. Listen to him and move on.
5 Likes
Leave that shit girl
Girl grow up. You can’t tell me you don’t enjoy looking at other men. As long as he doesn’t have sex with anyone else and comes home to you what’s the issue? But then again, I trust my man and have even told him I’d take him and pay for a lap dance 
Go together and have a good time. At the end of the night he goes home with you
1 Like
It’s not your boyfriend’s job to fix your self confidence issues. Grow upppp. You shouldn’t even be in a relationship if you’re that unhappy with yourself.
6 Likes
Have you tried going with him? Yes every woman is different we all have our boundaries but it’s actually kinda fun. Most of these are doing this bc they have no other option. One of my best friends put herself through medical school working as a dancer. But definitely talk to him. Tell him how you feel. The key to any relationship is communication. Try to find the middle ground but be honest don’t hold it in.
2 Likes
If he wants to go and pay for over priced drinks and watch old men (our father’s age) oogle over women our age; by all means. I went one time when I was younger out of curiosity, never went back.
It’s not worth it for the cost alone. “Titties for a buck?”
I say let him go just to watch him come back.
1 Like
Ya dont go out for a hamburger when ya have a steak at Home. Screw Him!
5 Likes
There is no relationship without respect.
My husband and I go to clubs together. Actually I took him to his first one. But if he was ever uncomfortable with something or I was ever uncomfortable with something… we talk about it. We unpack that trigger. We don’t disregard what the other is saying and do what we want anyways.
He doesn’t want to have to worry about another person…?? Don’t go with him. Dump him!!!
7 Likes
Oh get rid of him. He’s a clown, ignorant, insensitive, and he also needs to learn to spell.
6 Likes
Ew. He sounds like a total douche.
5 Likes
I’d say he can have alllllll the nights without worrying about “another person.” You deserve someone that respects you.
3 Likes
Find some self confidence and love it goes a long way wether he’s at the clubs or not tbh.
Sounds like he doesnt want to be in a committed relationship and thats NoT love…if hes not into you and needs others to entertain him and make him happy then just walk away…leave …u will be hurt yes but he wont cause he doesnt care and wont start to anytime soon or stop going there…end of story…sorry but true
3 Likes
It depends on the boundaries in your relationship, I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable with my man going to a strip club, and I already addressed that to my boyfriend and we both came to an understanding on that, even though he did say he wouldn’t go to one anyway. In a relationship, you should always respect each other’s boundaries.
3 Likes
Go with him! It can be fun and pretty spicy for romance.
I’d go with but that’s just me
Go with him! I would i would have blast! My fiance wont take me because he knows id go nuts lol
Shrink ASAP 
and spell check
3 Likes
Every relationship is different. If you feel strongly about it and ask him not to do it, he should respect your feelings. It might be OK with other women in other relationships. Just because other women are OK with it, doesn’t mean you should feel bad because you think it is wrong.
Are you aware that God condemns this type of lifestyle?
1 Like
Id leave him! He needs to respect you. That’s gross af to me and a waste of money.
5 Likes
If that last part was his exact message, spelling and all, Run!! 
7 Likes
It depends on the boundaries set in the relationship, if you’re uncomfortable with it that’s all that matters ! If he can’t respect that, you need to find someone who can. Oh and his message to you would be MORE than enough. 
2 Likes
Go to a ladies strip club with your friends and forget about that dude…
4 Likes
If he or you both go to strip clubs I think you need to get ur priorities straight . There is so many more things u and him could be doing
Dump him. He’s trash.
I told my bf if he ever goes to a strip club to see females dance, I too will go to that same strip club so him and other men can watch me dance. He said it’s never going to happen. 
I was all for it. Maybe give him that idea, if he doesn’t care then throw the whole man away.
2 Likes
I took my man to a strip club and he couldn’t even get a hard on. I took him home that night and stripped for him and that changed the game for us. It’s not cheating, work on those self confidence issue
1 Like
If he can’t compromise and attempt to try to meet you as you are where you are with your insecurities and past and you cant let go of whatever it is he is doing, as hard as it is to do, you may and probably should move on. Body image and self esteem is huge for anyone and it’s not easy for someone to “just get over it” like some of these comments have said. So seek and wait for one who is compatible to you babygirl. Love yourself, let go of the bad eggs; they are EVERYWHERE. 
1 Like
Time for you to go to a male strip club. And when he gets upset (and he will) just tell him they do things for me that you don’t.
2 Likes
Throw the whole man away. That shit is cheating, and if he can’t respect you and your wishes he is fucking garbage. 
LOVE doesn’t make you feel more empty, it should make you feel more full. He doesn’t love you. Send him to the club and ghost him.
1 Like
I don’t feel the need to go . I prefer my wife’s tits and I can touch them without getting kicked out .
Girl listen! I didn’t even read the other comments for fear of arguing with whoever tells you that this is ok. It is absolutely not! It is the most disrespectful thing you can do to your partner! Saying it’s not cheating because it’s a strip club!? Lord please! That it called gaslighting, making you feel stupid for feeling upset about it, them saying it’s not cheating to make you feel crazy. No… no no… honey, you need to leave this man. I’m sorry, but his mindset is set… you deserve the world and more, and a man that makes you feel like the only frgn girl in the world… do not settle! Take it from me, do! Not! Settle! The fact he tells you that random women can please him in ways you can’t is a big freaking no! Absolutely not! Dump That excuse of a man! You deserve so much better and don’t let anyone change your mind!
1 Like
His attitude is disgusting. Seems like a pos to me.
How can you be in a relationship with someone who does this to you. He doesn’t care about your feelings at all. And really why does he need this in his life? A strip club? Only you know what you need to do. Either accept it or end the relationship. Those are your only 2 options.
Honey he is just not ready to settle down yet. Tell him you love him but he’s not able to give you what you need and deserve at this time. Maybe one day. But your not gonna hold your breath on it. Tell him you wish him the best but you think it would be best not to see each other anymore. Tell him it’ll be better for him and it will be better for you for sure. If you start this way. Carry it out. Be strong. Don’t back down or give in. If you stand your ground he will know you mean what you say. It may even turn him around, and if it doesn’t. I guarantee you, you will have his utmost respect. And you will have respect for yourself and your dignity for speaking out about the things that matter to you, about what you can and cannot accept with him.
Giant Red Flag. It makes you “feel insecure” and it is hurting you. He says - “No, you’re feelings aren’t valid” . I would think.that something as trivial as him getting his jollies would be a small enough item to pass for him. Guess not.
30 Likes
Girl, dump him like a bad habit. He isn’t going to change, and you deserve better. Keep your head held high.
32 Likes
If you don’t feel comfortable with him going he should respect that and not go.
21 Likes
I don’t think anyone should go to strip clubs as they just promote lust and sensuality.
Jesus said that if a man looks on a woman with lust he has committed adultery already in his heart.
Our sex crazed world is in a mess and be it strip clubs or pornography, both promote feelings and hormones which are sinful and I am sure lead to more sinful acts such as sexual assault, improper relationships, abuse and broken homes.
2 Likes
Very truly all of this is not good it will definitely lead to cheating prevention is better than cure
1 Like
The girls are actually more intrested in the females that go. They are more comfortable with female company. Every time ive gone with either a boyfriend or just my guy friends id get all the attention lmao not them. Its not a bad experience. Its crazy what some of those girls can do on a pole. Makes me jello hahaha.
2 Likes
I think it’s ok for you not to like it. I don’t think it’s ok for him to undermine your feelings about it. Some women are ok with it, some aren’t. A strip club isn’t going bowling or golfing with the guys. So his defense about needing to see something you don’t do is a red flag. If he’s in a relationship with you, this is a sign he isn’t respecting your feelings on this. The question should be, why is it a big deal to him? Trust your instincts.
1 Like
No matter how much it hurts get out of that relationship pronto. It will only start getting harder and harder. You are worth much more than that. Cut your losses now. Never let a man define who you are.
1 Like
My bf of 9 years now went to a strip club together on our second date lol. It was my idea. Had a great time… we haven’t been back and he didn’t really pay attention to the dancers. He definitely passed the test lol. I get the self esteem thing though. He needs to be mindful of your feelings. And his wallet. They don’t like him. They like his money. I’d basically make fun of my bf if he said that to me. “They can do things you can’t” like what an 8 ball? Lol
Take the time he is leaving to go to the clubs to work on yourself. What ever it takes, counseling, a life coach, a trainer… the money he spends at a club can be a lot. Take the same amt that he spends and do these things…a new hairstyle, new clothes, learn new makeup tricks, it’s up to you. Making him see that you are not going to sit around waiting on him to change will make him want to stay around you, to see what you are up to!!! LOL. Good luck
This isn’t really about what he should or should not do. Others can’t fix you, only you can. You need to work on your insecurities. Let’s change strip club to grocery store, if you were uncomfortable with that, should he stop…of course not. Is he going all the time or for some event like a bachelor party…if he goes all the time there might be some additional issues. But if he is going for an event, is it his duty to appease your issue, or is it your duty to curb your issues to allow him to enjoy an event with his ppl? Personally, I believe it’s my job to deal with my issues and your job to deal with yours, but only you can decide what you think.
If I told my husband that it made me feel bad, he would not go. It’s called love and respect. Next it be him hanging with other women and they are just friends etc Ditch him before you get more hurt. Don’t stay with him out of desperation.
If he’s telling you “they can do things you can’t”, and “wanting to go to enjoy myself without another person”……ummm I’d be done. There are PLENTY of other things he could do by himself other than going to a fricking strip club. 
Too many women don’t have enough self respect to walk away from a person like this. You need to find a way to love yourself enough that you deserve better. Trust me, there are more men out there who would treat you like you deserve to be treated. And they’d help you build up your self confidence. Not tear you down
He don’t love you if he sees that your hurt and doesn’t try to compromise in any way. Plain and simple. I know how u feel because thats exactly how I feel. You deserve that respect and he should be giving it to u with no problem. If he still feels the need to look at other women then he has growing up to do .
1 Like
Many years ago I told my husband he was free to go to strip club as long as he understood I would show up on stage while he was there and that it freed me to also go to male reviews…happy to say he’s never gone to a club and the best husband ever.
I am now 70 yes old I get it your feelings are hurt but you both need to grow up my husband and I went to strip clubs when we were younger. I have friends that are strippers. They do it to put themselves through school, to take care of their child because dad’s not in the picture they can make really good money and the last thing on their minds is your man so maybe u need to try going to a good strip club ( not a dive) and talk to some of the girls also if you watch them they are very talented and work very hard it might make your relationship better. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship but hey this is my opinion and it’s not for eveyone
So I’m confused…was it the current boyfriend that said…he needs one night a week to not worry about another person? If so, sorry to say but he is not ready for a relationship 
…nor is he relationship material… don’t waste your time.
I hve read some of there comments its seems they may be comfortable if they were in this situation, WHO CARES.
GIRL you hve morals,integrity and values and were brought up in a respectful home. Do not compromised those attributes for NOBODY.
This guy is disrespectful and doesnt share the same values with you.
If he still contnues to disrespect after you told him how u feel and doesnt change make space for someone who will care for how you fell and love you for who you are.
Good luck.
1 Like
You know you can go to male strip shows too. Once you start comparing sizes he’ll change his tune.
1 Like
It’s gonna be hard to accept something you really don’t believe in. Apparently his values aren’t the same as yours, in a relationship. Be careful what you accept, just to make it work. It won’t! There’ll be something else! Trust me! Musk his a__ to the curb. There someone else that will appreciate you, and not worry the Hell out of you!
It would be diff if he approached the situation diff but because he’s approaching it from a side of selfishness I think you should really consider if this is the relationship for you, its not like he’s doing this once in a while its a reaccuring problem and if he saw it hurt you one time and then changed it would be diff but he’s values his own feelings above your own and no one deserves that so I’d say have a serious conversation, also the comment he made when you confronted him was not OKAY at all coming from someone that is meant to be your partner in life and someone who loves you, you deserve the best and to be happy, hope you get it sorted goodluck sending hugs and courage your way you got this💪
Dont punish yourself. No reason to cling to
anyone who has no respect for you. If he is ok in all other ways And you choose to overlook it stay, if it’s not acceptable then leave. You won’t change him.
I actually read the whole thing and it got even worse she definitely needs to move on he just doesn’t care
First of all, just based on the grammar/spelling differences I see in your post vs his text, y’all not meant to be. Move on sis.
1 Like
Men are visual creatures ,
They like to look !
If it’s a deal breaker , then you decide that . Break up . You can’t put all that baggage on him tho it’s not fair .
I did that same thing with my husband that pissed me off and I could do those things those girls can do. But when you’re married you don’t do that shit every night it caused a lot of problems and if I caught him down there I was gonna leave or he was anyway I don’t appreciate my man look at another woman when I’m supposed to be the only one he’s looking at ! lusting of the heart same as cheating
oh my word. not right, i don’t think couples should go to those places, by there self. to me if you enjoy looking at other chicks half naked, then go get them, and leave me the hell alone.
Sweetie this man is NOT the right man for you, move on and don’t look back.
Why would he need a night out to himself without any worries 
He chose to be in an relationship with u and his mindset would have been like a changed person /adult by now… Nah sister get rid of him instead of waisting your precious tears 
I am 49 now and was a very late bloomer. Didn’t even really go on a date until I was 19. I became engaged at 21 to a hyper masculine guy. He went to strip clubs with his friends all of the time (he worked in the golf industry), looked at Playboy, Hustler etc and it bothered the HELL out of me because I didn’t love myself. Needless to say, with one too many strip clubs along with massive disrespect of ME (his Dad even told him he treated me like shit and I was going to leave), I broke up with him. BEST decision I ever made. I “grew” like crazy after that and learned slowly to love myself. You have to have independent thought in order to grow and learn confidence. Not some asshole who makes you feel like you’re not enough. Good luck. If you are anything like me, you will stay with him until he does something you absolutely CANNOT look away from. I pray that you will soon have an epiphany, one way or the other.
Get rid of him…he is not taking your feelings into consideration, but before you do make him go to a male strip club with you and you act like he did, maybe he will understand
Look, I’m older but I believe he needs to enjoy what he has and grow up. Strip clubs cause trouble in a relationship, maybe he needs to get lost. You worth more than a strip clubs, he’ll realize that AFTER he lost you.
It’s not about you. Him looking at strippers has nothing to do with you or your looks. He’s insecure and he’s a low quality male. I wouldn’t be jealous of those kind of females though. Imagine having to do that for work…I doubt any of them are happy to be there! They are just trying to make enough money so they can be more like you!
I just watched a show last night called “ 90 Day fiancé’ and a similar thing happened on that show where the husband newly married wanted to go to the strip club and bring his wife. She went and was shocked on what she saw . She immediately wanted to leave and she walked out but he was upset because because she didn’t stay and didn’t think it was exciting of course . They starting fighting and things are not right. I’m interested to see next Sunday night what will happen to their relationship. The guy is rather young and so is she but I think he won’t change one bit because he so adamant about going.
This will always be a worry for you and I think he will not change!
This just sounds like a couple that’s mismatched. Neither is right or wrong
My husband did this once. He went then admitted he didn’t enjoy it after all because he knew how I felt but loved him enough to accept his feelings and let him go. So he never went again.
I don’t know if they feel they lost all independence or what but for myself I knew he really loved me after that.
I’m 66 year old, don’t let your insecurities drive you crazy. My husband would tell me he is going to a strip club with his friends, then come home in a few hours. Most his friends would tell him, they are so surprised I’m not upset that he goes. If he tells you he is going, that means he is being upfront and isn’t hiding it, some men go and NO tell the wife. Let him go without feeling guilty cuz most likely, you’ll get the “benefits” when he gets home. Just saying.
No. Going to strip clubs is searching for something that they have at home if they are married.
My husband goes to strip joints I just laugh at them he’s 62 years old he ain’t going to hurt nobody
I’m not ok with it. If it bothers you and he doesn’t care then he isn’t worth having. If he has to look at other women to get off he ain’t for you.
I feel like you have a lot of healing to do and maybe a relationship isn’t right for you. You gotta love yourself first.
Something about a goose and a gander…
I would have never seen this if a friend hadn’t commented on it first, but I gotta throw my two cents in. I’m 49 years old and I’m in my third marriage. While my first two marriages were utter failures, I also got married the first time just a few weeks after I graduated high school (immature). My second marriage was just one that should have never happened in the first place (severe incompatibility coupled with depression and insecurities). This marriage however, wasn’t about finding someone that had the perfect body, perfect social status, or power ranking. I found someone that I had a real connection with. That being said, there’s not a damn thing in this world that I wouldn’t do for her! If you’ve got a man who won’t bend over backwards to give you whatever you need, then he’s just going through the motions until something else comes along. A devoted man doesn’t need his “Boys” approval for SHIT! He’ll tell them that his woman is more important than they are and if they don’t like it, tough shit! This guy is just looking for his next victim! Get out now and find a guy who will build you up instead of tearing you down!
1 Like
Well he didn’t even have to let you know, he could have just gone and you never would have known. Maybe he’s trying to loosen you up sexually?
Why are you even interested in a guy that patronizes strip clubs ?
Why don’t you go to a male strip club?
You should go see the male strippers.
Don’t deal. Be better than that to yourself.
You may want to find someone your more COMPATlBLE with now it ony gets harder the longer you put it off
He does not respect you at all😡
Dump him. People are ridiculous staying in a failed relationship. Find someone like you.
My wife and I have gone to clubs all over for over 35 yrs.
Find another boyfriend, one who is considerate.