Should you have your spouses passcode?

What are your opinions on passcodes on phones from your parter?? Does it matter if you are dating, engaged or married? Do you expect them to give you the code or not have one at all?? Does trust have anything to do with your decision?? I’m wondering what the overall take on this topic is. I have a code on my phone and so does my boyfriend. We dont share them with each other. Should it change once we get married? He has never asked for mine. I sometimes wonder if that is supposed to change once the relationship gets more serious.

54 Likes

I watched a friend who lost her husband unexpectedly do everything she could to access his photos on his phone. She can’t because without the password it’s not possible. So now my husband and I have a password book. Passwords for everything are in it for emergencies.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should you have your spouses passcode? - Mamas Uncut

It’s up to you and him.

1 Like

Ive never looked through anyones phone. I wouldnt give my code, nor ask for theirs

Yes nowadays you should be able to see anything that your partner is doing on their phone and they should be able to see anything that you’re doing on yours that’s how you build trust

2 Likes

Our passwords are the exact same. Nothing to hide.

1 Like

I have a code on my phone. Its not to keep my husband out, its if its lost or stolen. If he wants it, I feel that he would just ask for it.

3 Likes

Having it vs using it are 2 different things. We have each other’s but never go in each other’s phones unless asked. Everyone needs some type of privacy

10 Likes

If my spouse doesn’t trust me enough that he has to snoop through my shit, we have no business being together. I do not go through his phone and he does not go through mine. I am sure we could probably figure out each other’s code if we wanted to, but the point is we trust one another and there is no need to go through each other’s stuff.

That’s entirely up To you, what works For one relationship might not work for the next. My husband and I all have the same passwords for everything lol. I could
Honestly careless what’s on his phone. If trust is an issue than marriage shouldn’t be on the table.

2 Likes

I’d be suspicious tbh that he won’t give you his code ever
May have something to hide
Xx

3 Likes

We have each other’s

1 Like

You should have access to them and be able to look thru each other’s phones but not take advantage of it… Mr and my bf have been together for 14 years and we can look thru each other’s phones, cars. emails but doesn’t mean we do…

2 Likes

I know my husband’s passcode and he knows mine but neither of us snoop in each other’s phones. It’s more like we just know them out of convenience sometimes. Like my phone is upstairs and his is next to me and I want to text my son

1 Like

I have nothing to hide so absolutely yes! Have all the passwords. :grin:

3 Likes

We have each others codes. Its more so to keep our kids out but I honestly dont trust people these days

1 Like

I’ve never once thought about going through my husband’s phone… ever. The trust is there 100%.

1 Like

I mean, I think each situation is different. My ex husband use to use his phone to cheat on me all the time and also he physically cheated. My fiance doesn’t have a passcode on his phone. We’ve been together 7 years. I feel if he did, it would be difficult for me not to assume things, which also isn’t fair to bring past issues into a different relationship. But that would be something I’d have to work on. But regardless, there are delete buttons anyways :woman_shrugging:

1 Like

My husband and I share passwords , he can go onto any of my stuff at any time and vice versa. No reason to hide anything.

2 Likes

My partner doesnt have a code & i only have one incase i lost it.He knows it anyway & we both have nothing to hide.I would be suspicious if he doesnt want you to know it though

1 Like

Sydney Cockerham I 100% agree with you! That’s how we are. We have passcodes I do as well. We know eachothers pass codes but we give each other privacy and trust.

1 Like

me and my husband have the same passcode lol. we don’t snoop on each others phone. we often use each others to look things up, respond to texts, answer calls etc.

1 Like

If there’s trust, there’s no need to have the password. Don’t expect his password because you think you’re entitled to it.

1 Like

I have a pin on my phone but if my boyfriend knows it and knows he can go into my phone at any time
And fice versa
The codes are only there incase the kids get into the phones and of they get lost ect

2 Likes

No. Hebis entitled to privacy as am I. Stay out of yalls partners phone. It’s none of your business. Period.

2 Likes

I have one on my phone because my youngest liked to call 911. My oldest,y husband and my best friend knows mine

1 Like

We know each others passwords for everything. (Mostly because I’m the only one to remember them, they forget) lol. If something needs to be done with the others phone we just pick it up.

1 Like

If it’s a spouse then absolutely! If something happens, say worse case scenario, you need to be able to access it (thinking death not cheating) Just someone your dating? Nah.

1 Like

My boyfriend and I don’t have each other passwords for our phones.

1 Like

We share the same passwords for everything but he doesn’t even have one on his phone. I do but it’s to keep the kids out. He knows it though. We have been together for 17 yrs, married for 16 yrs.

2 Likes

Absolutely!!! Nothing to hide nothing to fear.

3 Likes

When I was married we both had passwords to protect our phones, but we both knew what each other’s were.

2 Likes

Personally we share ours. We don’t go through one another’s phones but we also have nothing to hide.

4 Likes

Nope. I don’t have hers and she doesn’t have mine, if I ever feel the need to search her phone I’ll just leave. :woman_shrugging:

4 Likes

We know eachothers, but never have felt a reason to use it.

1 Like

i dont see why u need it i never touch my hubbys phone i have no reason to

1 Like

We don’t have passcodes

It doesn’t matter to me. We do have codes on our phones. He has mine. I knew his but I can’t remember it ever so I’m forever asking him what it is. Lol. I/we have nothing to hide from each other.

1 Like

My boyfriends face can unlock my phone and mine can unlock his. We don’t go through each others phones, and if we did, neither of us would find anything. I mainly have a lock on my phone for privacy from others, not privacy from him.

2 Likes

Nope. Everyone is entitled to privacy no matter the relationship you have. As long as you fully trust your significant other, there should be no reason to ever go through their phone

2 Likes

You should always know your husbands passcode and he should know yours. This has nothing to do with cheating but instead if something happens (dies suddenly) you have access to his phone.

6 Likes

Well my husband and I do…plus we have all the passwords to everything including email accounts and FB in the same password keeping app…
We don’t snoop into each other’s stuff but he often asks me to go into his emails to take care of different things or print stuff out.
It wasn’t a conscious decision it just happened because we are a team and we don’t have anything to hide…

3 Likes

Me and my husband have passwords. We know each others, bit mostly for incase something was to happen worse case scenario

1 Like

It’s called privacy and EVERYONE is entitled to some! I do not share my passcode with my man, and he doesn’t share it with me. Because we don’t ask! Or expect it. If I need to use his phone or he needs to use mine we’re like hey let me see your phone and the phone owner unlocks it and hands it over.

1 Like

My Husband and I know eachothers. It has nothing to do with whether we trust eachother or not.
We just share everything :woman_shrugging: and alot of the times one of us will the grab the others phone and use it if ours is dead or charging. My husband takes mine alot when he goes to town with out me bc his will be at home dead or charging.

3 Likes

I know his and he knows mine. I don’t have anything to hide and he doesn’t even care to look at it

1 Like

We don’t have passcodes on our phones, but when we did it was easy for each of us to remember

1 Like

Mine does if you have nothing to hide you should know the passwords to anything. Passwords are there to keep strangers out.

2 Likes

We have passwords to keep the kids out of them. I think in a marriage it’s important to have that information. Should one of you pass, you woukd want to be able to access photos and whatnot

3 Likes

Every couple is different. If it works for you guys that’s all that matters. Also don’t fix something that isn’t broken. Just my opinion

2 Likes

I’m married, we both have them however it’s the same code :joy:

4 Likes

I can’t ever remember my hubby’s and he knows mine. I don’t care if he looks through my phone. The code is to keep my little ones from messing with our phones.

2 Likes

I know mine and my husband knows mine. Not because of trust issues, but more of a just in case. Sometimes he has me answer text messages for him if he’s driving

1 Like

We don’t have passcodes on our phones at all. We only have each other’s actual passwords for Facebook and stuff like that because we switch back and forth for business purposes when one or the other need to post something or talk to a client if we’re on the road. If it’s a trust thing for you, do that now and put everything on the table. If you’re going to get married, that does not grant “ownership” of a person, so, say you’re together 3-5 years before marriage (over even the 10 that some couples do), and it’s never been an issue, once you tie the knot then you say OK, passcodes now! …that would send some huge redflags

1 Like

We both have passwords on our phones but we know each other’s. To my knowledge we don’t check each other’s phones as we have trust but if I had a gut feeling or something felt of I’d check it and expect him not to complain if he had nothing to hide, same as he could check mine anytime he wants.

3 Likes

We have passcodes but also know each other’s/ have each other’s face for Face ID to unclock our phones. We never had the “what’s your passcode I don’t trust you” it was more like “can I use your phone real quick? What’s the passcode” we have nothing to hide from each other but if you feel you need his passcode to trust him that’s a different story.

1 Like

Idk his and don’t care to. If I have to look in his phone, I don’t need to be with him. If I ever ask to use his phone, he unlocks and hands it to me

2 Likes

We don’t even have codes…but what do yall do when disaster strikes for those who do?

1 Like

We have each others password and stuff. I feel it’s not as deep as people make it seem

2 Likes

Me and my husband have always just known them, I need to go into his phone sometimes and vice versa. Neither one of us gives 2 you know what’s…we didn’t sit down and have a convo about it we’ve just always known, and have access to the others whenever we want.

2 Likes

no codes on either of our phones

1 Like

My husband and I know each other’s phone passwords. We’ve never had a problem with giving each other that. Saying that we don’t just go through each other’s phones. We do it if one of us is busy and we need to grab something off the other person’s phone or if our daughter is wanting to play a game on one of our phones mainly his.

2 Likes

My fiance and I have been together 2 years and have always had access to each other’s phone but have never had to use it It’s not a trust issue as much as a comfort When we got our new phones about a month ago we both set up fingerprints and each other’s phones. It’s always been a non issue But then on the other hand I’ve been with people that do hide stuff And refuse to let you look I think ultimately it depends on what you’re comfortable with and how much you trust each other.

1 Like

We both know each other’s passcodes and use each other’s phones all the time. He has Pokémon go so I play it all the time. And his battery lasts way longer then mine so we listen to spooky stories before bed on his. He didn’t have a phone for a long time to I bought him one so we could talk on his breaks at work. We have zero trust issues and communication is perfect in our relationship. He also knows my ex is still madly in love with me but I share all those messages with him always. Before he has his phone he always used mine. I would never go through his messages or anything though I trust him I don’t need to see who’s he’s talking too he’s allowed to have friends and private conversations. I don’t care if he goes through mine if he wanted too I don’t think he has though.

1 Like

So, me and my husband have each other’s passcodes (actually, we have the same passcode :joy:) and though we can, we don’t go through each others phone. It’s so inconvenient to have to unlock my phone if I ever need him to text or call for me if I’m busy.

Let’s also not forget how many people go missing, that probably would have had a better start at being found had someone knew there passcodes/words. Both my best friends and husband know my passcodes and have my location for this reason. I also have a go missing binder with all this information.

What exactly are y’all trying to hide that prevents you from allowing your spouse to have your passcode? They can still have it and respect your boundary for snooping :neutral_face:

2 Likes

I don’t know my husband’s, 22 years marriage, he doesn’t know mine either

2 Likes

I know I’m not a mama, but I felt I should comment. If you feel you should be entitled to your partners passcode for their phone then you need to seriously look at your own trust issues. That goes both ways. I know sometimes the lack of trust is justified and if they have cheated or are thinking/talking about it with another person then they will get caught out somepoint. Any good strong relationships are built on trust and love.
If 2 people are in a relationship and one shows their insecurities by requiring unjustified access to their partners phone then that has a real impact on their partner who is quite probably totally innocent but now feels untrusted and that can cause more issues in itself.

1 Like

We have passwords on our phones and tablets but we both know each others. Doesn’t bother either one of us.

1 Like

You should know them well enough to be able to guess :joy:

2 Likes

I have codes on my phone cuz kids. But my husband knows all my passwords and if he forgets, they aren’t secret :hugs: only times I limit his use of my phone is right before his birthday or Christmas if I’ve ordered something and I don’t want him to see!

2 Likes

My husband and I have each other’s passcodes and have access to each other’s phones but it wasn’t like a trust thing, it happened more casually over time like if we were doing something together and one of us had a phone on us and the other didn’t, just casually being like “hey can I use your phone for a sec? Oh what’s your passcode to unlock it btw?” Like it was never really a conversation we had, but if it’s a conversation you feel you should have then you 100% should! I think it’s natural to have access to each other’s devices, and it doesn’t have to be about a trust thing or whatever, I think it just naturally happens when you start mixing your life up with someone else’s I guess.

3 Likes

I don’t even have a password on my phone

1 Like

My husband can’t remember his passwords to save his life, so I have all of them written down lol! No secrets here :heart_eyes:

1 Like

My husband and I both have passcodes on our phones because of the work we do. We both have access to each other’s phones whenever we want. We have trust in one another and hardly ever look at the others one phone.

2 Likes

I’m not married but been together six years or so. I have a passcode on my phone to keep my kids out of it but my SO knows the code. I’m super boring and have nothing to hide so :woman_shrugging: he has a passcode on his phone too and has told it to me numerous times but I have a crap memory so I don’t remember it. He tells it to me any time I need to use the phone for whatever reason (calls, sending a text for him, finding my phone lol) I don’t have a reason not to trust him at this point but if he were to start acting shady I’d probably write the code down.

1 Like

We know each other’s passcodes and we’re on each other’s FaceID.

1 Like

My husband doesn’t keep a passcode on his but I do on mine. He has mine for just in case. Nothing to do with trust really, just convenience.

My boyfriend and I have each other’s codes so we can use them if needed… But we really only lock our phones for screen sensitivity issues and for me bc it has a lot of personal info I don’t want people having access to

No. Don’t have to worry we are free to look at any time

My husband and I know each others passcodes.

Married for almost 17 years. My husband & I both have codes on our phones & have had them to keep the kids out of them since they were little. We know each others codes, always have… Only use them if we need to get something off the others phone like phone numbers or something like that. Not to go through them. The codes being on there were never about trust between us. Now if he all of a sudden changed it & wouldn’t share the new code there would be an issue…

We both have passcodes on our phones, but we often answer calls/texts for each other if that person is busy ect.

Shouldn’t be anything on there that your SO can’t see

We’ve never asked for each other’s passcodes :woman_shrugging:t3:

We have the same pass code and we use each other’s phones from time to time. I don’t go through his phone and he doesn’t go through mine. We aren’t married but we do live together as if we were. We trust each other and have no problems communicating with each other.

Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 2 years and we both have passcodes in our phones and we both know them so we could get into each others phones however we have never needed to

My husband and I know each others passcodes.

Should you share toothbrushes once you’re married too? People deserve some sense of privacy even when they’re married.

4 Likes

We’ve had each other’s passwords since the 2 month mark of dating :woman_shrugging:… fingerprints to each other’s phones since before our first anniversary… we’re engaged now, neither of us goes through the other phone we really only have access because my camera is better and if we need to look something up while he’s driving my phone is sometimes in my purse so I use his really quick

4 Likes

I know his, he knows mine. What do we need to hide anything for? That doesn’t mean we go snooping in each others phones, though. He does the updates and tech-y stuff for my phone because I am so not a tech person.

I have nothing to hide. And if he’s hiding something, I figure I dont need to search for it. It’ll come out eventually. But until he gives me a reason not to trust him, I trust him.

I find it weird they haven’t told you the code yet. You should not be going through it anyways but I still know all my husbands and I don’t have any so :woman_shrugging:t2:

We are 100% transparent. Same codes on our phones. Same passwords for email and all accounts.
When you have nothing to hide, you hide nothing.

3 Likes

As someone that just lost their uncle unexpectedly I cannot stress how important it is for spouses to have passwords and codes to each other accounts and devices. My poor aunt has had such a difficult time trying to navigate everything with having to guess or passwords, etc.

2 Likes

I only have a passcode on my phone because I am terrible at taking it with me and my 4yo and 2yo try and get on it. My older kids (13,10,8) and husband all have my passcode. But I don’t hide anything on my phone just don’t want the kids buying crap on amazon again :joy:

If you have nothing to hide than whats the big deal :woman_shrugging:

1 Like

I don’t EXECT my fiancée to do anything :woman_shrugging:t3:

If you trust each other there’s no reason to know.

We know each other’s but I’ve never once felt the need to use it

1 Like

Share them after marriage definitely! It has absolutely nothing to do with trust. I lost my husband in January and if I’d known more it would have been easier dealing with some things. We didn’t share all, not to hide anything or “I need privacy” just didn’t think of it.

13 year together and have always had each others pass codes. A friend of ours husband passed away and she didnt know the pass code to his ipad. They couldnt get it unlocked so their son lost any pictures or memories of his dad on that ipad. For that reason my parents also know my pass code.

1 Like

I have my husband’s and he has mine we don’t snoop through each other’s phone but we don’t hide anything from each other there’s times he may need my phone or I need his in case one is dead or forgot it at home