Should you know your SO's phone password?

Fan question? How does everyone feel about passwords on your so phone? I have been with my husband for 11 years, and we have had issues where I have found things in his phone, so he puts a password on his phone, so I can’t get in to it! And when I ask to see his phone he tells me no I don’t need to look at his phone? Anyone else go through this?

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He is likely hiding something. Not cool.

Im sorry, but if he has nothing to hide, then why is it an issue?!?!?!?!??

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I know my husband’s. I don’t even have a lock on my phone. It shouldn’t be a big deal unless there is something he is hiding from you. I’d say its a red flag.

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Yeah…thats a hell no. My husband and myself do not have passwords on our phones and we can go through each other’s phones if we ever wanted…we don’t because we have no need too, but if one of us needs to make a call, or look something up quick we use each other’s phones🤷‍♀️

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No trust equals no relationship. I’m no expert but it sounds like your husband is hiding something.

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We don’t have passwords on ours and we know each others social media passwords

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If that’s not a red flag then idk what is.

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Nope no issues with phones here my man uses my phone all the time I’ll take him to the store if mines almost dead. Should be no reason to hide stuff

if u cant trust him the relationship is over hes clearly screwing around if u found stuff already and now he put a password so you cant my ex of 8 years and 2 years both did that shit they both were screwing around

Been through it with my ex. He was cheating if you’ve found stuff before it’s most likely still happening.

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My husband and I remind me of a really old couple. We literally use the same passwords because we forget them too easily and it feels like a lifetime retrieving the password :joy: we’ve had the same passwords for over 8 years now. But if he’s that uncomfortable in my opinion seems a little sketchy

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We don’t have passwords on our phones

I never think about my husband’s phone… he’s 100% trustworthy.

I know my fiancé’s password but have absolutely no reason to go through his phone he has mine as well we trust each other

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I can see both sides to this. I had to have a password on my phone because we’d send messages (about private work). The password was because of little fingers getting ahold if my phone and deleting phone numbers and important messages. However, of the person that I was with wanted to see my phone, is unlock it and hand it to him. I never had a password just to keep someone off of my phone because of cheating or anything like that. If you have to hide it then you shouldn’t be doing it.

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I’m sorry but that is a big red flag. My partner has a password on his phone but I know it and I can go thru it anytime. I do not have a password but I have in the past and he has always know it and can go thru my phone whenever. If your partner isn’t letting you then he is most likely hiding something.

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sorry that’s a flag to me honestly. we know each other’s passwords… we don’t go in each other’s phones unless we need to use them, but we never have a reason to tell each other no. i’d say if he’s getting upset and won’t let you go on his phone ever that there’s probably something he’s hiding

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Sit down with him and discuss why you feel like you need to get into his phone and let him discuss why he feels like you don’t need to be in it. There may be something going on, or it may be that he wants to be trusted and doesn’t want his phone gone through. I had a passcode on my phone and my ex never knew it nor was he ever allowed to be in my phone. It has nothing to do with being unfaithful since I was 100% loyal. I simply didn’t want him in my phone, had conversations with family members I didn’t want him seeing, etc.

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I had the same problem at first with my SO 8 years ago when we started dating turns out he was messing around. I said bye he came back. Now we have open communication I have his password for his stuff he has mine for my stuff and for us it works It helped build trust back between us and he’s been faithful ever since… but thats just what works for us everyone is different

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He’s hiding something for sure!

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No passwords on phones . Both people should be able to go on or use if needed each others phone. Sorry but it sounds like he’s hiding something from you. It could be something like inappropriate conversations with a woman.

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We’ve got passwords on our phones but we call them kid locks lol. He knows mine and I know his.

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I would say you already know the answer if you’ve already had problems with the content on his phone before. Time to let him go.

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He’s hiding something

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Redflag for sure, been dealing with that sneaky shit for years

If u even have to ask to look at his phone there’s a problem period

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I’ll say it from the other point of view. I have a password on my phone. My husband does not know it. And if he asked for it, I would not give it to him. NOT because I have something to hide. But because if he can’t trust me, then we don’t need to be together.

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We don’t have a password on our phones.

We know each others passwords but we never feel the need to go through them. We mostly keep a lock because our 8mo son likes to play with them but we dont want him dialing anyone lol

Yikes. That wouldn’t fly with me. My husband and I have the same password on our phones so we can get into them at anytime if needed. Usually don’t but if there’s nothing to hide there’s no reason not to.

You should be able to trust your partner. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been established as a couple. The real questions are:

Why are you still with someone you know you can’t trust?

What internal conflict do you have with yourself that makes you feel that you deserve to continue this cycle of mistrust?

What couples therapy have you tried?

At what point do you tell him you’ve changed the locks and you have the only key?

I know my partners password but I never go in it or think to go in it. Honestly there’s deffiantly some trust issues that need to be discussed for you both. Goodluck :slight_smile:

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Fuck that. My husbands and mine are unlocked. We hide nothing

Hiding something! Any time we had a passcode on the other one knew what it was!

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If it wasn’t for my work email being on my phone, I wouldn’t have a lock on mine.

I only ever kept a password on my phone at work because I didn’t trust certain people. I have nothing to hide so I don’t use one. I have no other reason to have a password. He could look at anything on my phone and I’m pretty confident that my boyfriend would hand over his phone at any given time if I asked.
If there have been issues in the past with him being shady and he insists on keeping a password you dont know he’s 100% hiding something…

We’ve Always had each other’s password if he kept his from me I’d assume he was hiding something, it’s a trust thing simple things like a phone and hiding a password Would make me think he’s being untruthful and low key doing shit he shouldn’t be

I have a password on my phone my husband doesn’t care I put it on there because kids that’s why :joy: but if he wants to look what’s on my phone I give him the password but he doesn’t ask much because he trusts me

We know eachothers passwords and use eachothers phones randomly. Like if his is charging and he wants to look something up he’ll grab mine and use it, vice versa. No worries, nothing to hide.

His finger print is in my phone and mine is in his, I would say either he’s hiding something or may be embarrassed about something he has on it??

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Nah…in what universe would that ever be ok? The answer is NONE. Unpopular opinion…you don’t get privacy in a marriage. And people that want privacy like they doing some shady shit. Don’t accept that bullshit, he playing you and he open about it. He don’t give two fucks, and you just along for the ride.

That seems like a red flag to me.
My husband and I have basically the same password and the only reason for the password is to keep the kids out of the phones. We frequently answer each others phones (calls, texts, messages, etc.) Whoever has their hands free or is closer to the phone answers :woman_shrugging:

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We dont have passwords on our phones. Everything is linked. Facebook, email, contacts, everything. We have nothing to hide. The kids dont have passwords either.

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My husband and I both have passwords but we know each other’s codes. He’s hiding something

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I’ll be honest, I demanded his phone password when we were first dating (he had mine too) because we BOTH were acting shady. 6 years later, passwords don’t mean shit. It’s mainly so if someone gets our phones, they can’t go through our pictures :woman_shrugging:t2: if you can’t trust him, don’t be with him. It’s been 11 years babe, he’s not going to change. He’s definitely hiding something on his phone… unless you refuse to give him your password too? Idk, this is kind of one sided. But I think y’all should sit down and discuss everything and go from there.

I know my hubby’s and he knows mine. If he wants to know something all he really need do is ask me.

I dont go through my man’s phone but he does make sure I know the code in case I need it…it sounds like your husband has something to hide

I know his pw he knows mine too g mail and all but I never go through his phone. Trust goes a long way

Well Sweetheart I can GUARANTEE he’s not PROTECTING his grandmother’s family recipe’s!

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My husband and I both have passcodes on our phones but we know eachothers passwords to everything

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Hmm :thinking: sounds like he is hiding something if he has a issue with it.

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I know my husbands password but I don’t feel the need to go through his phone.

My husband and I both have passcodes on our phones. We both know each others, but we’ve never had reasons to not trust each other in the past. We have codes only for the fact if it’s stolen or lost we don’t want people to see everything and get info off of them. And so our daughter doesn’t get into god knows what lol

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We both have passwords so that our toddlers can’t access our phones lol. But we have each other’s passwords and our older kids do too in case of emergency. The issue for me in this one is that you’ve found stuff before. He should be being an open book to earn trust back in my opinion

I don’t know my boyfriend’s password and I don’t want it :woman_shrugging:

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I don’t know the password/code to my S/O phone. Been together for over 6 years. I don’t feel the need to know it either. If I asked in sure he’d tell be but I trust him. I feel like that’s the difference. There is obviously trust issues in your relationship. Maybe sit down and talk him how you feel and that you feel like he’s hiding something by not sharing his code. Might give you peace of mind to know it, even if you don’t check his phone.

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Well if you dont have trust that is where I would start…

I know my husband’s password and he knows mine. When we first got together, I had some major trust issues due to past relationships. I can’t even begin to tell you the last time I looked at his phone because I know I can trust him. He has never looked in mine but I would have no problem if he did, I have nothing to hide.

Neither of us have passwords. I think we use each others phones more than our own sometimes 🤷

My bf and I are open communication we look at each other phones, we can see each other bank account, literally no secrets

Cant trust him, don’t need him :woman_shrugging:t3:

I know my husband’s password and he just remembered mine in the last 3 months after me telling him everytime he asked for a year. :rofl:

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Me or my wife don’t have passcodes but don’t need to check each other’s phones but if she did I have nothing to hide
It feels wrong from both sides you don’t trust him and he either doesn’t trust you or he’s hiding stuff

The day I have to go thru my husband’s phone is the day it’s over. I won’t live that life again.

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I dont know my husband’s password, because if I gotta go through his phone and be a detective, then we shouldnt be together!

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I don’t have one on my phone and I know his. If someone texts me or calls me or him we answer each others phones. Been together for 10 and a half years and no need to hide anything…sounds like he definitely has something to hide…

I know my husband pw and he knows mine only reason we have pw is because of my niece and nephew playing with my phone

Both of us are welcome to go through each others phone should we feel the need for it, we have each others passcode.

Me and my boyfriend know each other’s passwords and we always use each other’s phone sometimes he uses my phone more than his and idc

I know my husbands and he knows mine. We also both have face id but we dont have each other’s faces in the others phone, we just know the passcode. Sometimes he tells me no but he hands it over anyway. I tell him he can go through mine anytime he wants and he says he has no need to. But neither one of us go through each others phones

We have passwords but I know his and his fingerprint is set in mine. When we first started dating we went to a music festival maybe 2 months into our relationship. I lost my phone there and he just gave me his until my new one came in because I have a toddler. (No he hadn’t met her yet). One of the many reasons he’s a keeper. :heart:

Thats ridiculous obviously he has things to hidd

Yes but not for trust reasons. Someone else should always have it just in case something happens and they need to access it.

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When I first started dating my now husband he gave me his password and still to this day if he changes it he lets me know. I never ask and never go on his phone unless he ask me to look up something for him. He also knows my password but doesn’t look on mine unless I ask. We trust each other and know passwords just in case something happens.

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I have gone through that, all problems about this issue aside, I’m single now and happier than I’ve been in eight years.

i know his. but we both have face id for both phones so he can get into mine even tho he can’t remember my password to save his life :joy:

I think you already know what’s going on. You’ve already found things before, so the trust issues are already there. Probably were prior to that seeing has you went through his phone. So instead of building trust with you, he puts a password on the phone and refuses to let you see it? That doesn’t sound right. You simply need to decided if you’re going to put your foot down or be silent. I wouldn’t stay in a relationship without trust, and if you’ve found “things” before it’s defiantly not there🤷🏼‍♀️

My husband and I don’t use passwords, have full access to anything and everything. Shit we even share a Facebook, mainly because we own a business, and I’m more social media present. If we wanted to go through the others phone we could.

i know mine his password on his phone and his computer and i do not check it unless have to. i answer his phone if rings and hes not near it. he knows it. and hes the one who gave to me .

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We only have passwords to keep our toddler from calling the cops. We know each others passwords for literally everything. That’s all red flags to me

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We know each others password but don’t go through. It’s weird to be told no. If there’s nothing to hide it shouldn’t be a big deal but I guess outright asking to get into their phone while yours is available is weird too.

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I have a password to keep nosey kids and my mother off my phone, my husband knows the password though. He doesn’t have a password on his since it’s usually either in his pocket, in his hand, or on a charger right beside him in bed.

We do know each others not for trust reasons. we don’t really ever go in each other’s phones …

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We each have full access to each other’s phone. Nothing to hide from each other. No reason to. Completely open with each other.

Btw don’t go looking for something that you already know is there it’ll only mess with your head. If you have been down the secrecy road before why would you want to go down it again? Most likely he’s still cheating and if you’re already aware of that then what will a password do it’s time for something bigger. Either accept his behavior, discuss it with him or let him have those women he’s communicating with.

My husband and I have the same passwords for both phones. Our kids know the password as well in case of emergency. In my opinion if there’s nothing to hide it shouldn’t matter if you knew his password. My husband and I both use each other’s phone often. If he freaked out for me being on his phone or asking to get on his phone I would question that. Once married you should trust one another yes but not allowing one another on each others phone is definitely a red flag. I would definitely question it.

With sooo many things, from phone to computer to not going through his wallet. And the flirting! I was married to him for 47 years and he recently passed away, but there was always something.

Ive been with my SO for 17 years and we both have passwords and we both know them. We dont hide anything from each other . I would never look in his phone though because if I felt I needed to then we would have a problem

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You’ve had trouble in the past with sneakiness? I feel like you already know the answer as to why he says you don’t need to access it… I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and during that time we’ve had passwords (cause toddlers) but knew each others codes and now are open and free to use the others phone pretty much whenever. No you shouldn’t have to go through it but as a wife you deserve the right to be able to (for whatever reason) without question or an attack such as “you don’t need to”. When my phone dies and he’s doing whatever, I’ve asked for his to keep me entertained and its almost immediately tossed over to me without the third degree or any shifty doings before hand that cause the question in doubt in the first place. As a wife, you deserve that same peace girl.

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He knows mine and I know his work phone our personal phones don’t have passwords no need for them

Not cool. Only time my husband isn’t allowed to look at my phone is around his birthday and Christmas as I have gift ideas saved there and surprise party plans. That’s a red flag

We both have complete access and don’t go through because we trust

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I know both my husband’s work phone and personal phone password. I don’t have a password on mine but if I did he would know it

We know each other’s passwords so we can use each other’s phones when we need to. We don’t look through them. I have never looked through his phone and he has never given me a reason to want to.

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I have my husbands password. I have never used it. Havent felt the need to. I trust him. He has mine. He could have put it on there because you keep snooping. What type of things have you found.

I know all my husband’s passwords and vice versa. There are many reasons for this. A. I manage the finances, so I need access to his accounts as well to pay for his credit cards or what not. B. He never checks his emails, so I do for any notices he may get. And finally C. We have nothing to hide. When don’t keep secrets, unless it’s a surprise for the other.

My husband and I know both our passwords but we never ever look through each others phones.

We don’t have passwords on our phones. :woman_shrugging:t3: We leave them out and available to eachother all the time but neither of us search through anything.

No, I have full access. And I’ll tell you why.
My husband and I have been together 6 years. He used to lock his phone and you know why? Because he had shit to hide. Infidelity and disrespect. But after he almost lost his life and realized that there wasn’t a woman in this world who loved him nor cared for him like his wife, he gave it over to God and ever since then (almost 2 years ago) not once has there been a lock on his phone that I don’t have the code to… (iPhones have to have a lock mandatorily) I have full access to anything I need. But here’s the deal, I no longer feel the NEED to check his phone because I trust him and his relationship with God to never disrespect our marriage again… not a single item of concern has arose since 2019… if you feel you need to go through it, you already know.

I have my boyfriends password and he has mine. If he’s refusing to let you see his phone and you don’t have his password then there is your answer. He’s hiding something. Either he can show you he’s trustworthy or he can be single that’s my opinion.