Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/support-for-my-sister/16311
So he was coming onto her and she decided it was a good idea to stay up alone with him and continue drinking 
sounds to me like she kinda likes it
No way would I stay with a man who let that go.
For her safety, of he is around, she needs to leave.
This makes no senseā¦ā¦
Why did she stay up alone with him if he came on to her before??
Jesus Mary and Joseph, sounds like the family reunion doesnāt include you anymore.
To put herself in a situation where she is alone and even worse consuming alchohol together with a history of this type of behaviour makes absolutely no sense . When a person clearly has no boundaries and acts like that once you donāt sit alone drinking with them cause she absolutely acted like she wanted his company. Is he the one in the wrong. Ofcourse. But some personal responsibility needs to be taken too. You donāt intentionally put yourself in this situation.
What tf you trying to say 
You are all getting drunk and doing stupid stuff Take responsibility for your actions how many times does this guy have to show his true colors she put herself in jeopardy again cause sheās drinking She want her man to stick up for her every one is confused. Because you were partying She made a bad decision twice because of booze and there will be more problems in the future Who are both of you kidding Oh yah your kidding YOU SELFS
I had to reread the first sentence 7 times and Iām still not sure if I understand correctly.
Your sisterās boyfriendās sisterās husband? Made 2 passes at your sister, correct?
The little I understood I can say without a doubt I donāt know ANY woman who would stay up drinking alone with a man who supposedly accosted her!! 
This gives me a headache to try to understand!!! But it sounds like there is a lot missing to this story
I mean first of all after the first time the sister in lawās husband wouldnāt be welcome in my house and I wouldnāt be going to his house especially when thereās alcohol involved. Heās obviously disgusting and has zero respect for anybodyās boundaries. I also donāt think the boyfriend needs to be fighting someone or whatever to protect their relationship, heās probably hurt and confused as well. This is a messy situation that can be avoided from here on out.
Iām sorry but this is soo confusing between changing to her, I , me etc itās all over the place so I really canāt give good advice because well Iām lost
Sheās wrong when she stayed up . Itās her fault .
Need a bottle of wine after reading this 
Brittany McFarland u r 100% right. Any man that puts there hands on a woman for there own sexual needs after been told No and stop. They should be put behind bars. Imagine if that was your daughter drinking with friends and one of the guys put there hands on her. It would be a whole different story. So for those who lost there good senses and say this was ok, you need to learn the difference between letting someone touch you and take advantage of the dirty sleeve balls from hell. So to this young lady give up your drinking and always watch your surroundings. There will be a third time.
Thats like getting robbed in a dark alley and a year and a half later you see the same robber go down that dark alley so you stick a bunch of money in all your pockets and follow him down the alley, trauma survivors dont do that
Sisters boyfriends sisters husband??? Just stop right there and ignore all of this 
And why does your sister need all this support and sh*t? A dude hit on her. Her boyfriends sisters husband. Who cares. Turn him down n keep it movin. I swear ppl just love attention and drama because your sister does not need love and support over this situation. This is corny.
Most everyone on this post is an asshole! If not victim blaming or taking shit about the way she speaks!! Even tho itās not perfect English itās very comprehensible to intelligent people! And to ask her why shed put herself in the same situation again never been fooled by someone you trust or a family member or close family friend!! Yāall are just insane! You should be able to have a drink with a person and not be expected to do anything with them regardless of any situation PERIOD!!!
Praying for your sister,
First of all, if he keeps doing these things tell his lady for one and for two cut all ties to anything having to do with being around him. The environment is toxic and doesnāt need to happen. DO NOT stay at the house where he is, Do not let him come to your place. Period.
My head hurts after reading thisš¤¦š½āāļø
WTF did I just try and read Lord I need a drink now
If from what Iām understanding her brother in law assaulted her and her partner isnāt doing anything about it?.. she needs to leave him and that family behind! Press charges and get rid of the partner who is doing nothing to put his brother in his place and defend his family. Theyāre all sick in my book.
Iām sorry but I almost had a seizure trying to read this it just doesnāt make sense and the English is terrible, spelling is terrible and the words are jumbled and not making sense lol
Why would she stay up and have drinks with this man after what happen the first time and a shared kiss, Iām confusedā¦ but no means no husband should of defended his wife.
This post is about sexual assault. The boyfriends sister is married and the man that is married to the sister sexually assaulted the girl while they were drunk takes awhile to read and understand
Easy, donāt be alone with him since she knows what will happen. Iām not saying sheās in the wrong but she did know what to expect when she chose to stay up alone with him, again. He is wrong and her man is wrong for not sticking up for her but she canāt leave him, she loves him and they get along with most everything else.
This has made my head hurt and eye balls crossed reading this I had to read it like 3 times just to make of wth it was saying ya best case scenario donāt be going back around dude apparently he is sick in the head 
Why would your sister keep drinking alone with him
Dam its really bad he could end up sexually assaulting her what should she do carry pepper spray
Iām sorry you typed that, because Iām not reading it
Never, ever be in a room alone with him. If he follows you, turn around and go where other people are. Heās dangerous and it sounds like the family knows how he is and just puts up with him. If you can get your man to understand, then he should support you. If not, are you willing to look over your shoulder all the time?
Very poorly written and it looks to me like she likes this guys attention.
Your sister knows how he gets when he drunk and she shouldnāt have stayed with him after he made passes at her. She is welcoming his behavior and he takes that as yes. She doesnāt make good decisions which leads to these problems repeatedly. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on her itās like she is asking for it . Sorry
Your sister needs some intervention and guidance here on what not to do. Like donāt stay alone with a man who previously made passes at you thatās a good start
Situations like this is why some men have their lives ruined and get put on the sex offender registry. No one in here was there and no one knows all the facts. She knowingly went back n had drinks w him alone after she felt so āassaultedā the first time around. He might be a total creep. But she might have liked the attention and thatās why she went back the second time. None of us actually know.
Sorry I got lost in the first sentence 
Sorry but after the first time your sister shouldnāt have stayed up drinking with him and sorry but I wouldnāt be surprised if she encouraged it abit by her actions and her boyfriend suspects it to.
Whoever wrote this letter sounds really stupid and sounds rehearsed just saying 
She should charge him and try to avoid him!
Um, so he sexually assaulted her the first time,so she decided to stay up drinking with himALONE and then he started sexually assaulting her again and she didnāt scream or go running for her husband? Just kept telling him to.stop? But didnāt remove herself from the situation?
Please make this make sense?
Aislinn Kaelyn Alysia no sheās not victim blaming. It literally said she decided to have drinks w him alone after everyone went to bed.
Lot of victim blaming in these comments. The only person in the wrong is the man sexually assaulting her.
Sorry to be blunt, but she literally put herself in the situation, knowing how he is. And she could have just walked away. So, he drunkenly hits on her and now she is traumatized? Iām a little confused.
Hey if you think any of this is her fault ask yourself if youāve ever been in a situation you wish you could get out of. If he was not a nasty mother fucker, this wouldnāt be a problem. Idgaf if Iām walking around completely naked in public, itās not my responsibility for what other people do. They make the decision to violate the law abs me. Iāve been in this situation and itās not easy to just do something. My god I hope non of you are violated by someone you trust or are put between telling the truth and having people react just like you did. You think If she did this another way half of you wouldnāt still be pissed for no reason. Shoulda woulda coulda so what, all Iām seeing is a shit load of people complaining this is written like crap and even more who donāt understand how families can be and saying what they could have done differently. Obviously she wouldnāt purposely put herself in a disgusting situation like that, would you? Use common sense, context clues, and a tiny bit of empathy.
Your sister should have said something the first time it happened if she was sooo uncomfortableā¦ then her staying up to drink with him aloneā¦ what did she think would happen? Someone that had to go to counseling and the doctor from it ā¦ then go drink alone with him? The story donāt even make senseā¦ and it seems like sheās feeling guiltyā¦ maybe more happened than she is leading people to believeā¦
Why would she stay up alone and drink with him ? Sounds like she was wanting it to happen
i had a stroke reading this but all i can get out of it is someone is getting hitting on by someone else. if she didnāt know what to do and if the people in the room dislike her, then she probably feels its her against the world. if she isnāt uncomfortable like she says then shes liking it
I need subtitles and a translator to even comprehended the aprehension of this unknown language I suspect most of us here have laid our eyes upon this post.
English is not my 1st language, but I broke my eyes and brain reading it
Donāt mean to be rude but, why did she stay up with him drinking? She knows what he did the last time so, she must except at least part of the blame. You donāt put yourself into that situation when you know already.
Is there a question here?
I mean I HATE the thought of āvictimā blaming but pretty sure there is a line where the victim is no longer a victim and is just looking for attention and drama
He has sexual harassed and assaulted her before yet she keeps staying up alone drinking with him?
First it was not dealt with. The bf is NOT a good man, providing and being a father is a RESPONSIBILITY not an AWARD. If he allowed this to happen and he didnāt defend her, heās wrong. Other dude is a walking pariah and needs to be swiftly dealt with. Even so far as going and filling assault charges. Bc he DID in fact, assault her. Twice.
You people are why women donāt go to the police. Just because she had drinks with him a year later doesnāt mean itās her fault he sexually harrassed/assaulted her. She should have him charged and if his wife still doesnāt believe her then she needs to cut ties with that part of her boyfriends family. Under no circumstances should she blame herself for somebody elseās behaviour. 
Is this even English? Iām so confused.
Iām an adult who is a survivor of child sexual abuse
(At the hands of my grandfather)
I applaud your sister for speaking up that took more courage then you could possibly know
I wish I had that courage when I was 15 - 17 yrs old
As I was to afraid no one would believe me and there would be reprocations if I did
To this day Iām to afraid to talk about it
Please Iām begging you have this man arrested and charged and in front of his family
So they can hear and see first hand what he has done
You need to be your sisters advocate
I donāt have to tell you to make sure she isnāt alone with him
As I know you would have that down pat
Is it possible for her to live with you instead of where he can get access to your sister
Set up a safety word that she can text you when he is making advances on her
Another reason he needs to be arrested and charged so that he canāt hurt any other minor children he may have contact with
Screw what family members believe
They will eventually thank you
Sending so much Love to your sister
From Australia
Yeah. She isnāt being honest in her dealings. She isnāt as innocent as she is trying to make herself out as.
Everyone went to bedā¦yet she stayed up with himā¦baiting himā¦someone not looking for drama doesnāt do thisā¦then go tell it all tell la gramā¦for some reasonā¦she seems to be out to hurt her sisterā¦or she would of gone to bed with the rest of the family instead of setting up with the drunkā¦
Wow on all counts, she knew he was a creep so she sits drinking with him AGAIN & your proud? This is messed up on to many levels and I seriously hope you were drunk writing this, hope ur sister gets counselling for putting herself in shitty situations 
best of luck to you all you need it 
Why was your sister drinking alone with this man?
The spelling and grammar in this book is horrible. Also, it has me confused. Because youāre missing words as well. Either way, the boyfriend sucks. He needs to be thrown out. The sister also sucks.
Report To police that is 2 sexual assaults and harrasment no one is gonna listen to her unless she reports it and he qont stop how.many others has he done it tomorrow worse or even potentially gonna do, he could end up fully raping her unless she sorts it out,
Hmmm if you can make head or tail of this pigeon English your good?But to me she no angel just looking for attention looks like alcohol the problem canāt take it donāt drink then start the blame gameā:beer:
lol
Reading all of these comments have SHOCKED me!!! You sound as bad as the twisted fuckers that say āshe asked for it because she was wearing a mini skirtā. No one asks to be sexually assaulted!!! She didnāt put herself in any situation, she was there in what she thought was a safe environment and a vile predator made a pass at HER. She didnāt do anything wrong in this and yes her boyfriend is pathetic for not standing up for her and calling him out of his disgusting behaviour!!!
What the hell did I just read. My brain hurts just from trying to understand what happened
I cant help myself to be able to even comprehend this english so i just cant help out with an advice . All i kept feeling reading each line was someone scratching a black board with their nails 
-it hurt 
What a mess 
my brain hurt trying to read that to be honest. Good luck!
I stopped at the first line
Can we please STOP putting ourselves in inappropriate situations though? You donāt stay up drinking with someone who has tried making a pass at you before Insanity! Keep yourself SAFE. What if he had overpowered & raped her?? Tell your sister to stay with her boyfriend next time instead of drinking with āhis sisterās husbandā She should tell her boyfriendās sister that if it happens to someone else & goes too far, she has been warned. The sister better counsel her husband.
Could we rewrite this in English please?
Your sisters boyfriend or husband made a pass at a different sister I donāt understand
Tell her to take self defense classes and then lay him out next time. Maybe a good old fashion black eye might get his attention
Stop going places this guy is going to be!
Really hard to read and follow. At one point sounds like the writer is the one that was assaulted. Why would she stay up ALONE, drinking with a man that has already assaulted her? Why didnāt she scream and wake everyone up?
I meanā¦ idkā¦ I was confused at firstā¦ butttā¦ after he did it before, she sat up drinking with him. I think she wants the attention tbh or maybe more and thatās the problem, her bf didnt stick up for her so thatās the real problem here.
Can you please edit your post so we can understand the question?
Right now itās impossible.
Why did your sister kiss her brother in law the first time? Did he force her or was she OK with it? Thatās giving mixed signals. Why did she sit alone drinking with him after everyone else went to bed knowing he was a creep when drunk? Why didnāt she yell loudly & run away or seek out her husband either time this happened? Why did she tell her sister & not her husband the first time? Does her husband feel she was āasking for itā and thus not worth stirring up the rest of the family?
Iād talk to the creepās wife and ask her if her husband likes to flirt (say it this way so she wonāt get defensive and stop listening right away). Maybe ask if she thinks heās ever cheated on her. But maybe his wife thinks ignorance is bliss, is somewhat dependent on him and is willing look the other way for the sake of keeping the peace. What was the creepās wife opinion of the sister who was assaulted like before and after the first incident? Does she view her as a flirt or slutty or drama queen & thus puts little stock in what she says? Or did they all get along great at one point?
Does this family tend to avoid conflict and confrontation in general? Do they tend to sweep things under the rug to keep the peace? Is image more important to them than truth? Do they think the woman who was accosted is a flirt or drama queen and so tend to roll their eyes at her accusations?
Why did the woman have to go to a doctor and counseling? Hasnāt she ever been hit on before? Assault and being touched when you donāt want it is never right, but it doesnāt sound like he got her clothes off or had sex with her & she got away before anything worse happened. Still can be traumatic, but what kind of doctor did she have to see?
Sooo is said sister telling you all this OR ARE you seeing it with your own eyes?
Cause first, you are very hard too understand and 2 she could of screamed and woke people up ! LISTEN I been molested 2 times in my life and once very close to it but I screamed as I was 5/6
So, none of this adds up except there was drinking involved and 1 thing led to anotherā¦too much in betweens going on and too much of a story told to you and not seen with your own eyes & ears
I am a firm believer in 2 things with this story
If something is happening scream and run dont walk and tell it
And never have someone else tell your side, it becomes unbelieveable! JUST SAYING !
not calling anyone lying but this story is a bit loco
Iām so confused with how this is written
Donāt go to events he will be at and donāt stay up to drink with him.
Your sister cant be too traumatized, she keeps getting drunk with him. Tell your sister she has a man. Thatās all
Ugh the poor grammar/spelling just stopped me in my tracksā¦could not read anymore. Please edit post so we understand the question(s) .
Thereās an app called āGrammarly.ā Itās free. Iām having a hard time understanding this That is all.
My 1st thought was why were you up alone with him if he did it before! And 2nd youāre in a house where other people are -yell!!!
I tried so hard to read this. But damn it became a headache.
Sorry. I read 8 words and quit.
Wait are you talking about your sister or yourself because at one point you said āIā? Then you said it was your sisters husband, then boyfriend Iām so confused.
Was everybody all drinking together and it ended with just them two at the end of the night? Or is it just them two decided to drink together alone at night? Either way, donāt drink together anymore. Nothing good comes out of it. Especially with a pervert. Boyfriend needs help and support too. Heās also traumatized from his girlfriend continuously behavior. Itās hard to trust the second time around with the same person doing the same thing. Iām sure boyfriend isnāt defending her because he wants ti know why it keeps happening.
Seems like sister wants to clean her name. But all she can do now is, own up to it and donāt let it happen again. People are not going to believe you and your story and thereās nothing you can do to make people believe you that you were assaulted, but you know your own story and you need to accept what happened, continue to get counseling like youāre doing and youāll be fine and be able to heal. If your boyfriend still wonāt defend you or protect you, you may want to reconsider life with him.
And please remember, donāt drink alone with a pervert.
Wow so many ignorant ladiesā¦ Obviously English isnāt this posters first languageā¦ why comment anything at all?? Just to look like an ass?
OP- Tell your sister not to be alone with this manā¦ Or tell your sister to tell her man to take care of it. Either way refuse to be around him at all
I think I had a stroke trying to read this.
I see so many comments being rude about the way its written. She could be from another country and English isnāt her language and she did the best she could.
Sorry it happened to her but why put yourself in the same situation. She knew how he was but still hung out with him to have drinks. Iām sure in his mind that was like an invitation. I know that no means no and alcohol shouldnāt change that but going forward be smart and donāt put yourself in that position to begin with when you know what happened in the past.
I donāt know exactly what he did, I only understand this guy made her uncomfortable TWICE before and she stayed up alone with him a THIRD time. I dunno, when men wonāt take no for an answer, I avoid them like the plague, in situations when I have to be around them, I do everything in my power to never ever be alone with them. Why on earth would she ever want to be up alone, drinking with him?
Having a very hard time reading any of this
I donāt wanna upset youā¦ā¦BUT this is on your sister. She knew what this guy was like and she chose to stay up alone with him. I would never have done that unless I like the attention.
She may be traumatized because it went further than she thought it would. But will never get me to believe that she didnāt know he would hit on her again.
Your sisters boyfriend? Your sisters husband? Or you? Because at one point you said āIā. And is this what sheās telling you because it seems like itās something youāve seen. But regardless, whoever it was, would do everything in their power to not be around this dude. And they definitely WOULDNT sit up after everyone goes to bed, to drink together, alone. Thatās what I got out of that. Iām so confused.
Make a police report n have him arrested
Iām so sorry this happened to your sister. If she was sexually assaulted, she needs to make a police report. She definitely needs therapy as this will haunt her. Perhaps couples therapy for her and her hubby to work through this. It shouldnāt matter if she was standing naked in front of a man! It doesnāt give them the right to grab her or hurt her. To all the people that said she did it to herself, shame on you. Why is it we always blame the victim? FFS why canāt men understand the word no and society back us?
Sorry, I canāt understand what your saying