Not mom related so I have been talking to this guy for 2 weeks. He works at my job just in a different department. He asked someone to ask me if I had a boyfriend. We’ve been talking ever since but he’s been saying he wants to have a baby very often and to get off of my birth control. saying he wants to have a family with me. He also says he wants to marry me sooner then laterBut the baby thing comes up very often. could he genuinely see how good of a mom I am and just really like me or is it a red flag?
Run …as fast as you can…
Alarm bells are going off, run, run, run
Sounds like love bombing for someone that’s a narcissist, and when he’s had his fun, making you look like the problem. He’ll leave you but knowing you have a baby together and when he’s bored, he’ll see if he can just toy with you again.
Sounds strange hard to know someone’s feelings or intentions in 2weeks but if you like this guy maybe have a serious conversation and just tell him you love that he is into you but it is way to soon for either one of you to be thinking about kids or marriage because you just started seeing each other and aren’t ready for those steps with him yet… he’s moving to fast can he slowdown some.
Red flag. The reddest flag there ever was!!!
No. No. No. No run. Run very fast. How many kids does he have with other mommy’s he has dated.
Tell him you want to take things slow. My now husband whom I met on a blind date told me after 2 weeks he loved me and I told him I couldn’t say it back it was a little too soon. 5 months later we were engaged, 4 months later married, 6 months later had our first child , 3 years later our second child and this year will be 23 years we have been married.
My advice to you is to avoid dating someone from your place of employment.
I think he’s moving way too fast. Only 2wks in and he is making demands.?.
Run. Run very fast. Before it gets started. Remember you still have to work with him.
Run, don’t walk! RUN!!!
Probably the biggest red flag ever to be be seen
It’s one thing to be very open you want kids so there is no miscommunication, I applaud that. But this, this is too much. You need to run sister.
Tell him you will revisit the subject in a year.
Red flag for sure nobody in their right mind would be saying things so soon
Get to know him
Date
Baby later
Is it Nick Cannon? Seriously though, no. Huge red flags!!!
Girl !!! Run as fast as you can
Some people sincerely know what and who they want, however just
tell him you want to learn each other before making permanent plans so soon
Red flags everywhere. RUN
He’s a definite red flag. If you’re naive enough not to see it, you should not be thinking about being a wife or parent!
I would RUN. big Red flag
Are you married to this nit wit? Well, don’t have a baby. It’s very hard to raise a baby.
Ummm… Red flag! No one has the right to tell you what’s to do with your body and your life!!! Two weeks in the only thing he should be worried about is where to take you for some amazing dates. Run, do not walk away from him!!!
Tell him to put a ring on it first then you will wait two years then decide, I bet you don’t hear from him again and if he’s still interested tell him if you two don’t work out he’s up for child maintenance till the said child is 18 I’m sure you won’t hear from him again
Ok. Run. A guy was like that with me years ago. Come to find out he told a mutual friend he wanted a little girl and would get custody as soon as she was born. He said he was attracted to little girls.
RED FLAG. Sounds a little like baby trapping to me.
Tell him 6 Months or 12 Months down the track you will or whatever you are comfortable with. If you don’t want to get off it then, don’t that’s your choice.
This doesn’t even sound real.
Red flag! I spent a couple years having a guy just chit chat with me and then progressed to dating him for an additional 2 years before I even really considered taking out BC I’m getting married next month to said guy to start our family. A guy who really likes you will not push you to do things you’d consider getting advice from strangers about…
Plot twist: both of y’all are red flags
Definitely a red flag. Find a new one!
Red flag
You need to tell him that you do t like him saying those things. That if he don’t stop it your gonna stop talking to him. Plus you work together never a good idea.
Thats very odd, your are just talking and he is already wanting to get married and have a baby. Big red flags here
First get to know him make sure he have no skeletons in the back exspecially other kids u gotta be very cautious cos tomorrow he will leave u like a hot potato don’t let him tell u what to do he does not own u get to know whom he is first
HUGE red flag when he’s to busy about talking about babies, when you tell him no and it’s not in your near future watch what his reaction is
Nope nope nope… The fact that you are even asking advice about this shows you are not in a place in your life to entertain his request…
That is odd. No one should tell you that, not even a boyfriend or husband. Birth control shouldn’t be relied on alone, anyway. Run
Look up love bombing. Red flag for sure.
Sounds very odd to me, a big red flag in my opinion, best is tell him you want to take things slow in order to get to know each other better, marriage and parenting is a big responsibility and that you just need a bit more time to make sure, if he has a problem with it then you know for sure that he is over hasty for a reason, it could be his family is on his case regarding these topics that they may mean well but it can make people make big decisions too hasty then you guys sit in a situation that nobody wanted. He just comes across very hasty to me and makes me ask “why?” Be careful
That’s a red BANNER!! RUN THE F AWAY!
Tell him you are recording every conversation you have with him.
(By the way, really DO record every conversation. They now have small recording devices that you can wear, and easily activate. Some devices have audio AND video capability). You’re very likely going to need that sooner or later with this guy. Without the recordings, it will be your word against his. Save any relevant emails, including hard copies.
(I’m assuming that his advances are not welcome with you. You have to let him know that- in a recorded conversation).
The fact that you need to ask is your sign that you shouldn’t be reproducing…
You’ve been talking to him for TWO FUCKING WEEKS
Like I literally require this to be satire right now WTF
Now you know you see them red flags
Sounds like he has a breeding fetish
If you even have to ask this your not fit to be a mother. What he is saying is not only a red flag but a violation of your HR department’s guidelines. This is borderline se*ual harassment. End it now
Honey of you only been seeing that boy for 2 weeks and he wants babies you need to run, and the fact that you are considering doing it shouldn’t be a wake up call. No man you met and
in two weeks is going to support your baby for a Life Time.
No, and stop talking to him, he’s a freak and will be no end of issues.
RED FLAG!!! Run while you still can!
RED FLAGS ALL.OVER THE PLACE. DO NOT GET TRAPPED INTO SOME SORT OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP BY GIVING IN. IF YOUR NOT READY THAN HE NEEDS TO RESPECT THAT. NOT TO MENTION ITS ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS. NO WAY! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF PERSON HE IS OR HOW HEBWOUKD TREAT YOU LET ALONE a child.
Come on lady. Use your head. You have only known him for two weeks. No. We don’t need to have these conversations. That’s what you tell him.
HUGE RED FLAG !!! He is trying to trap you. You guys are literal strangers
Run away. I had a middle eastern guy tell me that also.
What the f… Girl… I’m flabbergasted… you can’t be this naive
He clearly has a few screws lose
See how good of a mom you are? If you’re implying you already have kids and he’s telling you how he wants to have a family with you stay away. If you have kids already you have a family and instead of asking to be a part of it he’s talking about creating a different one. One that will exclude the kid/kids you may have. Secondly never date coworkers.
Umm… major red flag… stay far away, he sounds very creepy. You have only been talking for 2 weeks, you don’t know each other
Sounds like sexual harassment at the workplace
Contact a supervisor
why would you need to ask….? He sounds weird.
Funny daughrers father did that and he left at 2 months old and really messed me up during the pregnancy leaving and cheating emotionally abused. 8 years later almost 9 and haven’t seen him
2 weeks??? And you seriously gotta ask if that’s a red flag?!?!
Dont shit where you eat. Never date a coworker… especially someone whos this insistent on getting you “locked in” after 2 weeks.
RED FLAG!!! DUH!!! The fact that your still talking to him is also a red flag! Can you say I’m desperate without saying I’m desperate…
Red flag. Most definitely baby trapping. Men feep like if you have a baby by them, you’ll be more willing to stay with them and put up with their bullshit for the sake of the baby.
He’s a controlling narcissist!! He wants to get you stuck, so you don’t feel like you can leave!!! Run!!! Trust me!!!
Its a RED FLAG!! Lol
After two weeks, its wayy to soon to even know someones real intentions. Let alone ask you to get off birth control. I would stay away…
run run
Run, run as fast as you can!@
I am reminded what phrase I learned many years ago!!!
“ First comes love, next comes marriage, THEN comes the baby carriage!”
Maybe she should recite that to him!
Run! Run! as fast as you can away from him!
What he’s doing is called love bombing - flooding you with positivity to laso you in — and once there, with either one baby or two, a whole lot of ugly kicks in. True love develops over time and is tested again and again. It’s based on likes and dislikes of both people.
You’re probably super sweet, kind hearted, work hard and very caring. “Good mom” to people like I describe (and my hunch is he’s one of them but how do I really know- you have to) anyway it equates to oh this is someone I can eventually push around but “you’re a good mom” sucks you in. I hope you run like the wind!
How many “runs”….how many “red flags” do you need to see! Listen to the counsel of many before you realize “regret” is a word that fits the relationship and there is a little life involved. Life is hard enough. Keep looking
That’s a whole superman’s cape!!! Run!!!
It’s been 2 weeks… wait. There’s a reason he’s rushing it. You’re probably an amazing mom but is he a good human? It’s really easy to fake being awesome for a small amount of time but once he has you locked down will that change? This screams trap to me but I may just be projecting because of personal experiences.
Tell him you need to take it slow, and watch his behavior after you do. If he stays while you’re warming up to things and your relationship is growing, then it could be real. If he explodes or keeps pressuring you, he’s acting out of control not love.
Run to the nearest exit!!
Red flags there for me. RUN! Took 5 years before I married my husband and took me 5 more before I decided to have a child with him. 2 weeks way to soon for all that talk.
Does this sound right to you? If you don’t see the red flags then I pray for you
Definitely red flag run
Big red flag, run as fast as you can as far away as you can!!
Man these other women smh All saying Red flag well NOT FOR ME IT WASN’T . My first husband we was together for 3 years before we got married and it lasted a year then we divorced. With my now hubby we meet and i knew instantly he was ((The One)). We was talking about a family within a week about a month into it he proposed and we got married 3 months later. We have been together now for 17 years and got 4 beautiful kids and he is an amazing daddy. Spoiled me rotten when i was pregnant and helped me at nights with all 4 babies even our twins and even when he worked 60+ hours a week.
Doesn’t sound good! He you and he probably will leave you with the baggage! Don’t rush into affairs! Guys can be very pursuivsive! Godbless you!
My advice is… these are red flags. Absolutely do not go off your birth control. Tell him you’re not ready for that and suggest a waiting period. (Can continue to date if you actually enjoy his company- you’ll find out) His reaction will tell you what you need to know. A good man and person will wait- six months? No problem. If he starts whining or getting pushy, trying to manipulate your feelings and or gets angry with you- then the red flags are actually red flags. Abusive men can only wear a mask for so long - but a good man will always be a good man, even when he is rejected.
What is worse than a red flag?
Red flag! Moving to fast. If its not something you want and the moment he needs to respect that and wait until you are ready
Don’t do it without a commitment
If he’s serious , he can wait until you get your wish to be married. Sometimes guys have an imaginary biological clock.
It’s def a red-TF-Flag! I’m not you, but it screams so many negative things to me just by reading this. Run and don’t look back!
Just curious - How would he “see you’re a good mom”?
He’s creepy and you should definitely run. Even if he genuinely wants to have kids, telling you to get off birth control so you can have kids right away is a major red flag. You barely know each other.
Run as fast as you can. And should he pursue you, consider filing sexual harassment claim. All is not right with him!
Not being racist at all but is he here on a green card? Is he scared of being deported? I’ve known a few that will hurry to get married so they don’t have to leave
run like the wind as far and as fast as you can go this guy sounds controlling
Huge red flag. You don’t need to marry soon and have a baby soon
My first question is how old is he and how old are you because you both are sounding pretty immature right now a baby is a life long decision and it’s a very hard job to say the least and very demanding and marriage well its even harder at times and right neither of you sound like you are anywhere near ready for anything of this level being that you even needed to ask this question
Invest in a great pair of sneakers, then start running! You’d be destroyed by this dude’s insanity in record time!
Red flag. 2 weeks isn’t enough time to know someone to have lifelong connection. It’s a way to trap and control you. Run, this is not someone you’d want to get stuck with. Men who do that also tend to take off when their done leaving you a single mom.
red flag definitely hope you take the advise and run for the Hill
That is a control move. Scary
Big red flag! After two weeks, come on!!
I’d defend start putting up some standards with said guy. Let him know that ur in control of ur life. U said u think he sees u as a good mom. However he seems like he is controlling and toxic. I’d definitely block n tell him ur not interested
Please don’t tell us you’re entertaining this person at all. That is so toxic.
Tell him you don’t date people that you work with. Which you shouldn’t anyway. It’s messy.
Even make up fake stories about going out with someone over the weekend and let him hear about it through other people.
But please know this is huge red flags and screams narcissistic control.
Breeding kink and love bombing. Terrible combination