This isn't okay, right?

I've been with my guy for 8 years now.. today he told me he loves me but doesn't really like me... and I put him off sometimes.... thats not okay right? It really hurt my feelings... but I'm sure if you asked him.. it wouldn't take much to do that.. also this convo was unprovoked
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. This isn't okay, right?

I’m sorry,but that is not love… I was married for ten years to a man that would say things like that, It broke me. :broken_heart: I finally realized it and divorced.

I’ve loved someone without really liking them. People grow and change.

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I’ve totally said this! I’ve told my hubby that I love him but at times I don’t really like him. He’s changed… he’s bitter, his political views are extreme and paranoid. I can not relate at all. I spoke to my husband, he’s very unwilling to change. Maybe speak to your partner and see what specifically he means and see if you can resolve it.

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It’s more than okay. You should be allowed to share your feelings, even if the other person doesn’t like them and if you put him off sometimes, by him telling you, he’s creating a situation that you two can work together to overcome and strengthen your relationship. Lots of women complain all the time about things their husbands do that they don’t find attractive or that are off putting, but I wonder if those women ever share their thoughts with their husbands so they know how their partner feels to give them chance to make it right. Find out what it is that you do that’s off putting, you may not even realize you are doing it. I’ve been married for 20+ years. We still date each other, we are honest with each other. We treat our marriage like the honeymoon phase. Our goal is to make each year better than the last, not get stuck in a rut of complacent because we’ve been together for 20 years.

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We’re supposed to love AND like our SO? This is too much already :joy::joy:

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I love my husband. But I don’t always like him.

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What doesn’t he like ?
Is it an annoying little habit you got that drives him nuts or is he just being a pratt ?
If he doesn’t like you and you put him off…ask him why he stays around . Does he want to move on cause you’d like to make plans if he does

My ex was the same. But he was a narcissist and abuser… Broke me many times till I had enough courage to leave.

I love mines but don’t always like him. Like it’s pretty normal.

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my husband and i tell each other all time i love you but i dont like you all the time​:rofl::rofl:

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He can love you but your actions can cause him not to like you…it’s plausible

I think this is normal. You don’t have to like every aspect of someone’s personality to love them.

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I think this just means you have a back bone and stand up for what you believe in. I don’t always like my partner.

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I think the reason why he “doesn’t like you” is what sets the tone.
I love my man but do I always like him? He’ll no! Just like he doesn’t like me all the time
It’s normal if it’s respectful

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I mean… he told you he loves you. Your partner isnt always going to like you, I don’t always like mine and I do also put him off sometimes. He’s telling you how he feels and you’re worried about how you feel, lol.

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If my husband and I weren’t married we probably wouldn’t be friends lol. I love him but sometimes I do not like him. We are very different people. But I do love him :heart_eyes:.
Sorry he hurt your feelings but part of being in a healthy relationship is being able to be open and honest.

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I absolutely love my husband and there are times I tell him I really don’t like him or his attitude but I still love him. A person doesn’t always like someone’s actions or choices they make but that doesn’t mean you stop loving them. He at least feels your relationship is stable enough that he can express his feelings. It opens up opportunities for you to discuss what it is he doesn’t like.

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I mean… just because he loves you doesn’t mean he has to like you all the time. I love my husband but half the time, I don’t like him and he annoys the hell out of me. :woman_shrugging:t3::sweat_smile:

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I like my husband a little more when he’s at work and I don’t have to see him for eight hours then other days I miss his big teddy bear ass

I’ve been married for 43 years and I always tell me husband that I want to find an anniversary card that says “Your a a$$hole but I still love you”. He just laughs. We don’t always like each other but we love each other and are committed to a life together. You can’t tell me you always agree or don’t get upset with your parents, best friend, siblings or children.

Do you like people 100% of the time if you love them?

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Is it okay for him to think it? sure… but is it okay for him to say it for absolutely no reason completely unprovoked… no… don’t settle. If he doesn’t like you, you can find someone who does.

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Self reflection sucks, ask him to go in to more detail and see why he feels like that. What exactly do you do that he doesn’t like. When I tell my husband something that he does or said hurt my feelings and I want to talk about it he gets defensive first, but then once we get past him thinking I’m putting him down, we get to the root of the issue and talk it out.

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You do something that bugs him.

He’s just trying to get to you. Throw you off guard and make you vulnerable. Men tend to do this. Your fine just the way you are.

I would be hurt by that especially if there was no disagreement or conversation going on like that. If he means he doesn’t like you all the time but he loves you , sounds like he isn’t happy any more. If you want the relationship try to find out if he has always felt this way or when it started. Communication is important. Keep in mind men and women’s minds work very differently.

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This is sooo normal :joy: try spending less time together :woman_shrugging:

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yep i love my husband but i don’t like him at times

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Not sure what you think is not ok about it. He is being honest you can’t say being honest is not ok. He can love you but if there are things you do or say that he doesn’t like then that’s probably what he means. Why don’t you try talking to him and ask him what specifically does he not like so you can work on it.

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I wonder what the lead up was. I know OP says it was unprovoked, but maybe they did something that annoys the f out of her partner, and he just blurted it out.

No one likes anyone 100% of the time. My husband tells me sometimes that I irritate him. I know I do. I don’t do it on purpose, it just happens. Especially when you’ve been with someone for a long time. Same with my kids. They know. I love my husband and my kids ALL of the time… doesn’t mean that I always like them.

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That’s just how it is. I love my fiance to death but I definitely do not like him sometimes and yes some things he does or how he acts puts me off and I’m sure he feels the same as well :joy:

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Wow, i tell my husband that. I love him but i don’t like him most of the time. He annoys, and gets on my last nerve. :woman_facepalming::cold_face::scream:

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Do you like him all of the time? I mean 24/7 people tend to get on your nerves. You can’t like everything about him every minute of every day.

I always say to everyone I love, I always love you but only like you sometimes! Yall are 2 different people. Your not going to like everything he does just like he isn’t going to like everything you do.

My ex said this to me. We were at dinner and he said he loves me but doesn’t like me anymore and that we should go our own ways :frowning:

That is how people often feel about their irritating cousin, not their chosen significant other. I’d be done with him over this.

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Well he told you how he feels and you do want him to be honest don’t you. Ask him why and try to work on what’s turning him off.

My husband tells me he loves me all the time but doesn’t always like me and I tell him the same we just get on each other’s nerves. I don’t take it as hurtful

What was he trying to say? Ask him