So my boyfriend and I been together for five years we have our ups and downs he asked me to marry him, but we can’t afford a wedding so he wants to go to the courthouse and do it and he said after we get some money we will have a wedding. I do want to marry him, but what if we get married, and everything fades, and then we won’t have a real wedding I don’t know I’m a woman and I would like a wedding.
If you don’t think its gonna last before you’re married, don’t get married.
My husband and I got married in a courthouse and we’re still 100% crazy about each other. In my personal opinion the marriage is more important than the wedding
Then just wait till you have the money for a wedding.
You can’t afford the wedding of your dreams right now, you said so yourself. Soooooo?
Save up and wait for marriage
No wedding here, I’d not want to spend the money. Rather just go someplace special.
We had a nice wedding for 3k. It wasn’t perfect but it was perfect enough for us.
My husband and I did a very small ceremony. Like 10 people in a very nice setting (not courthouse) but not a big wedding either. It was perfect! You don’t have to have a big wedding to have a wedding
we couldn’t afford a wedding either but I loved him more then a wedding. I just wanted his last name so I was fine with going to the court house… but if you think it won’t last just dont marry him and if it’s all bc you won’t have a wedding video etc to look back on again dont marry him. Bc I’m sorry I didnt get a wedding but I look back at the day and smile bc that moment the world melted away and it was jus us…
We had a wedding, but 17 years later wish we had eloped! The relationship is the most important part.
Y’all can just wait until y’all have the money and in the mean time you would be his fiancé and if by the time you guys have the money for the wedding and it’s faded then don’t get married but don’t do it just because he wants do you have to be ready as well plus you could do the courthouse now and have a wedding later my sister in law did that
I’ve heard people regretting having big expensive weddings but I’ve NEVER heard anyone regret getting married in a courthouse. I didn’t have a “wedding” and have not regretted it one bit not having wasted money on people you will outgrow anyway!
That’s what Vegas is for. Write out what’s important and what isn’t. Dress, tux, cake, flowers, dinner, venue etc. Come up with a budget and get a package. My husband and I got married for $1000 in Vegas. Not a dream wedding but we had everything I thought was important.
My fiance and I have been together almost 5 yrs, we plan on going to the courthouse and getting married, but have a big party at a hotel where everyone can stay, party, and have fun and not need to leave. We would rather spend a little more on everyone enjoying themselves
How about wanting a marriage first? Wedding event later…
if you want a “real” wedding there are ways to do it really cheap. You can have the ceremony at a park and just do a cake reception. You can also buy your dress from Ebay or Facebook Marketplace. Look at thrift stores for decorations (a lot of times unused decorations get donated) and buy your cake from a Sam’s Club or Costco type place
I swear my wedding cost maybe $2-3 grand tops including my dress, his suit, gifts for our wedding party, church hall rental, photographer, decor,flower, and food
You can prepay for things like a dress and have it covered in advance, save a long the way.
Personally, I would be fine with a courthouse marriage. My goal is just to be with my man and start our lives together. If you really want a bigger more formal wedding, just make sure to let him know how important it is to you and start saving the towards it asap
We didn’t want a big wedding. We went to the courthouse and just had a taquiero come after to my mother in laws and make tacos. Literally the best decision ever. And we’ve been on four vacations since then. I wouldn’t change it for anything. Everyone’s different. But I really never felt the reason behind a giant wedding.
I had a courthouse marriage. We spent a total of about 500$ and that with having a small party after. We have been married almost 10 year. I do not regret having a big wedding.
Me and my husband got married in a historical mansion with our whole family there. It was beautiful it’s a good thing there’s pictures cause honestly all I remember is the stress the stress of wanting it to be perfect when at the end of the day all that mattered was we were married and in love. The years since then are what has made us a married couple the late nights with sick kids and standing by each other through the hard times. Weddings are nice but love makes a marriage.
I assume youre in this group because you are a mom… Which means the kids should come first… Not that I’m telling you what to do, but just look into the whole shebang for a wedding - super expensive -. What my husband and i did was go to a local “tree house” in a big city park… We got married there with just the most important people, and had a party after with everyone else… At my parents’ house. It worked. We and everyone else enjoyed it… Most importantly, we saved a ton of money that mostly went to diapers, baby food and other essentials! Just think about it…
Sounds like something straight from my past - wish I could go back and tell myself it ain’t worth it sis LET HIM GO cause divorce is expensive and the right guy was definitely worth the wait. Hope it works out for you whatever you decide.
They’re overrated we had a crazy fun “reception” 2 days before we got married n then just did a quick courthouse marriage
Go on a nice little cheap vacation and elope
Its understandable that you would want a wedding but trust me having money for your life together is much better. Just my opinion
Out door wedding followed by barbecue potluck good friends and good music can be done on a very tight budget and provide very good memories that will last till your rocking years
Weddings are overrated 🤷🏽 just do a courthouse wedding and then go on a nice honeymoon
seems like everyone is just scraping by with no extra money-you may never have enough money to have a big wedding-If I loved him and really wanted to marry him, would go to courthouse and get married-you can put the wedding money on something you really need
Tbh I feel the same way you do. I would personally never get married at the court house. I’ve known what I wanted for my wedding for a long time. I would personally not get married until I could afford a wedding. I know how I want that important day to be celebrated and that’s just not it.
My fiance and I have been engaged for 5 years now. We decided we’ll call each other husband and wife until we have the funds to do my dream wedding. It all comes down to you two and what you agree upon. Getting married and saving for a wedding later isn’t a big deal.
My sister and I both got married without a wedding we both thought the money could go for building out life with put spouses instead of one day
Having a wedding means your marriage won’t “fade”?
We plan to courthouse marry and do wedding on our 1 year anniversary nothing wrong with courthouse marriage
I grew up with the notion that the big wedding was for everyone else. The commitment and relationship is what’s more important. The amount of money spent means nothing as far as real was or not it last for a day. The feelings are the real part.
You’re doubting it already. Just dont do it
I have been married 7 years come this April, we had a court house wedding. In 3 years we will be having a big wedding, because we want to renew our vows every 10 years.
Save your money now, and do something special for your anniversary. Big weddings are overrated
First of all, going to the courthouse to get married IS HAVING A REAL WEDDING! What is your ideal of a “real wedding” that you are wishing for?
Second of all, I think you’re feeling some nerves and as long as you both truly love each other and want to spend your lives together being nervous is ok.
Theres nothing wrong with doing courthouse wedding then n actual one down the road, u can also save up n have something small…my hubby n i got married n it cost about 1000$
We got married at the courthouse and then the next day his mom had a reception for us at a nice Italian restaurant. I refuse to waste that kind of money on a wedding. We have been married 12 years this month.
My fiance and I are making it legal on paper tomorrow. Our venue only books 18 months out, so in a few months we’re going to put down the deposit for our weekend in 2022 and make monthly payments from then on out and pick up the odds and ends things a little at a time to make it more budget friendly. My spouse doesn’t care either way, but he wants to have a big wedding because he knows it’s what I want. But we both want to be married and can’t do that kind of wedding immediately, so we found a solution that works for us. Good luck!
Weddings are overrated. Just save your money and take vacations.
Sister you can have a wedding and not go into debt doing it. I got married this past October, our wedding cost 2000.00 TOTAL . There’s LOTS of DIY ideas that are super easy, creative and cheap! First is figure out your BUDGET, and stay in that budget! Early spring or Early Fall is a GREAT time to to an outdoor wedding, Do you or a Friend/Family member have a Large backyard? Pintrest has LOTS of ideas for creative wedding arches that are easy and look great! If you have an idea for a gown, consignment shops, Goodwill, even bartering apps are a great way of getting the dream dress for SUPER cheap, artificial flowers are just as pretty as fresh flowers and WAY cheaper! I got ALL my flowers and center pieces from the DOLLAR STORE! HEB and Kroger’s have really pretty cakes and are 100’s of dollars cheaper than a cake designer. We did BBQ and bought the meat weeks before when it was on sale for 99cents a lb… OR you could just do super simple finger foods, coffee, tea, punch. I can give you TONS of cheap yet pretty ideas PM ME,I’d LOVE to help!
You can get married at a courthouse, then have the reception in someone’s backyard later down the road. 🤷 If I ever get married, that would be the route I go since the ushy mushy ceremonies aren’t my cup of tea.
Plan for a 5 or 10 year renewal of vows! We just got married and though we did the big dream wedding we also kind of wanted a private vacation beach wedding so we’ve talked about having a renewal in few years! Court house is your papers, can always plan your dream wedding for later and really make it however you wish!
I should also say we did our dream wedding Before we were actually married and later went to courthouse for legal paperwork.
You can do a wedding on a tight budget we did a western wedding bbq pot luck tail gates a stereo keg of beer and a bon fire good friends and we have been married for 22 years and every had a blast you dont have to spend thousands of dollars to make memories it’s all in what you make it
Shouldn’t matter where or how you get married what matters is that your right in gods eyes
We got married. Had a wedding. Spent less then 3000 total. Did pot luck. Rented a hall. Set it up for ceremony then again for reception. Got my dress at a second hand store which was brand new!! Ordered a lot of stuff online and made some stuff for VERY cheap. Where theres a will there’s a way is all im saying
You do what YOU want to do. We all have different dreams. The reality is, most people who say they will have a ‘big wedding’ later…dont. So if thats what you want, come up with some kind of compromise.
You can have a real wedding on a budget, weddings don’t have to be big and expensive. I eloped was promised a real wedding, 10 years later we divorced he always had money for his toys but we never had money for a real wedding. My brother married in a park, we did a potluck reception with a boom box for music. She made her beautiful but simple dress. They paid a retired judge to do the ceremony, she made the invitations, I think it cost them about $150 for everything, except the license.
I got married at the courthouse, I refused to waste money on everyone else seeing us get married, we did a nice dinner afterward with our parents, etc and then had a cookout/reception about a month later where we cooked a half pig and everyone brought a dish, cost us minimally and we had a great time
We’ve been together 9yrs and engaged for 8. We are planning on next year going to the court house and having a little party/get together after. You don’t have to have an expensive wedding. But we have 3 kids and would rather save the money for them and to actually buy a house soon so we can stop renting
Set a future date & save some money for it. Figure out how much you would need to have a lovely and relatively inexpensive wedding (other people could help with food, flowers, etc.) And how long it will take to save it. Don’t be pressured to hurry things if you really want a wedding. What’s the hurry ?
I had the JP at the house with immediate family only…best thing ever
What if u have a real wedding and everything fades, u are out All that $
We went to the courthouse and had a big “reception” with all our friends and family and spent a few grand and it was amazing! I don’t regret it at all. I would’ve been upset if we spent all that money on one day.
Tell him that. Or maybe get married at the court house and then do a reception with family and friends.
I’ve been with my so for 10 years now and we’re just now getting married.i honestly feel like I can’t be bothered with it. We have a 5 yo and 6 mos old. We’re getting married in the backyard with just small family and then going out to eat after. Maybe in 10-15 years when I dont have los I’ll wanna stress myself out with planning a wedding
There is always vow renewals you sound spoiled.
Do the courthouse thing then have a big reception or what you can afford.
I got married at a courthouse and did a nice luncheon. Guess what? ZERO regrets. Save that money for an AMAZING honeymoon outside of the country!!
Do you want a WEDDING or a MARRIAGE? One is all about attention, the other is about true partnership. You can always renew down the line and throw a party, or you can do a super small, intimate and inexpensive wedding. I took the inexpensive option!
If your that materialistic then maybe he shouldn’t marry you …
I was cleaning our bathroom then suddenly my husband asked me if I wanted to get married, I said ,”ok”? Like when? He said this afternoon! I was like, how? I didn’t know he was talking to a judge already. We got married that day. We’re now 5 yrs, with 2 kids and we’re gonna have our dream wedding after saving up in August.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He’s asked me to marry him before without a ring… I said yes but we are waiting to save. What’s the rush? Save and get what you want out of your wedding.
Just stay engaged for a few years and save up? I totally understand, and its not all materialistic like alot are saying, I’d want both our families to come together, from all over the world to celebrate with us, it’s how the majority of people I know see their families, at reunions/funerals and weddings, just explain to him how you feel, and come to a compromise, maybe a small wedding of just immediate family, or even do it af the courthouse and have a family dinner afterwards?
Have a backyard wedding … Set a date after like taxes or something. . plan a backyard wedding with close friends and family … Find decorating ideas on pintrest … Then do like a big bbq or seafood bake for the reception …
My husband and I got married in a park with close family and friends and then went to dinner. We said we would do a ceremony the next year but decided we were happy with our little “wedding” and would rather save the money since we have 2 kids now and one on the way.
A lot of venues do “elopement packages” you can have a certain amount of guests usually, some offer things like cake, officiant, etc. included in that package. So you could do a small wedding for usually a fraction on the price. You can still do the dress and someone walking you down the aisle so you have the “wedding” feel without breaking the bank and then do something more elaborate later on.
I have always wanted to have a wedding but couldn’t afford it. We went to the court house and got married by the judge and we have been married for going to be 22 years this July. We were only together 9 months before we tied the knot. It hasn’t always been easy but you have to work for what you want . Still to this day still haven’t had my wedding. I wish y’all luck
Just wait until you have the money if you want to have a wedding. Your relationship should not change based upon a marriage certificate.
If i had to do it over again… i would have gone this route. Dpent more on reception.
Been engaged for 6 and a half years. I’d be fine with a courthouse marriage but there are days when I want a big wedding and then there are days where I don’t even care if we get married. We know neither of us are going anywhere.
There’s probably a reason you’re hesitating.
We did the courthouse and did a social party after and had a nice dinner with everyone. I really enjoyed it, it was fun. <3
I personally didn’t want the whole big shabang. We did the courthouse & I am glad we did it when we did. It was not about the party or show for others. It was a personal decision and between the two of us. That’s just what I wanted anyway. It’d be nice to do something special with the kids maybe ten or so years down the line.
My dad and stepmom had a very beautiful wedding and didn’t even spend more than a couple Grand. Including the wedding gown and food. You just have to know where to look for good deals.
My husband and I just went to a JP, then had a huge party later that afternoon. It was a blast! But unlike most girls, I never wanted a big wedding lol.
I did have a lovely wedding. But looking back, had we gone to the courthouse, we could’ve done so much more with that 10k. Is it possible to have a smallish wedding in a parent or friends backyard? That could help offset a big portion of the cost. Or maybe the courthouse wedding with a lovely reception for your first anniversary? Good luck.
I planned my entire wedding in a week and a half. Spent between $1,000-$1,200. Got married in a church down from my house, the guy who married us was a friend of my dads and my step moms and did it for free. The deposit on the church was $200 but we got it back because we cleaned it up after. My mom, grandma, great grandma, my step mom and my grandma on my dads side all cooked, and brought food for the reception. My step mom paid for our flowers which was $100. My great uncle did all the decorations for free. We paid $50 for our wedding cake, and the grooms and brides cake were free because my great aunt made them. All the money was put towards my dress, my husband clothes and all the little extras we had. We got married fast because he was leaving for the marine corps a few month later. We plan to do something big for our 5 year anniversary. My point is you can have a wedding just don’t do all the extra extra stuff. We literally invited our main families that have been there, and a few friends. Nothing faded for us, almost on year 3 and have a beautiful baby. We still plan to do something big but in a few years when we can afford it. In all honesty we wanted to do a courthouse wedding and then just a reception type thing the weekend after. But my parents refused and said we needed an actual wedding. But you do what you want! Some people wait a year after being engaged that way they can put money up for their wedding, and some people just go to the court house and get married the next day. It’s all up to you
Your wedding will be a real wedding, do not spend thousands for people you hardly ever see your parents friends and family a dress you only wear once. You do not need a big church celebration to say this is my best friend and I love her.
Get married to the man who asked you because he loves you and wants to spend forever with you, not spend a small fortune on a party for one day with people he does not love like you, it’s a waste of time money effort unless religion comes into it. Get married just do it. Good luck have a wonderful day may your marriage last forever you’ll never regret you married the man, bless you both. Xx
Dont worry weather its on a court house or not its the matter of weather u want to marry the love of your life
My husband an I where together 6 years and decided to get married we waited till he returned from summer AT with the guard and had Chaplin marry us in the armory after everyone went home. Had a wedding later on when we could afford it. Nothing wrong with it. It’s about you and your partner not anyone else.
I’m getting married April 2. Just preacher and immediate family. Make it small
I did mine at the court house. We’ll be married 17 years this June. Nothing wrong with it sweetie
I’d rather save money and have a nice honeymoon and do a small and simple wedding … but that’s just me. Why spend hundreds and thousands on a dress you’ll wear once, food and drink that will probably be wasted … etc
I got married at the courthouse and it was perfect. Marriage is not about the wedding it’s about the love you have for each other and the work you put into that love every day.
Everyone is going to have an opinion. I personally if I ever get married will not have a wedding. It seems like a waste of money to me.
There’s nothing wrong with a court house wedding. What concerns me is that you’re already doubting your relationship. You need to think more about whether you actually want to marry him or just like the idea of being married.
My husband & I had been together for 4yrs. We married at a courthouse & will be celebrating 8yrs this October. As much as I would have loved to have had a wedding, I’m just glad to be with him
There is no right or wrong. This is the next step in your life and if the decision is mutual, then you go with what you both chose.
Love is how you both treat each other everyday of the week, not how you chose to get married and how much you spend doing so.
Congratulations on your engagement.
My husband and I got married inside of a courtroom. a few years later after my babies were born we did a vow renewal inside of a church from an old preacher / principal I had at Panama City Christian. He didn’t even want no money but my dad put the money inside of his pocket anyways. sometimes having a wedding like that is not really important as the rest of your lives together. I didn’t do a big wedding because half my family is in the military spread out all over the United States my husband’s family don’t get along so there wasn’t nobody really there to invite I dumped an ex-boyfriend of mine to get married to my husband because this ex-boyfriend lived at my mom and dad’s house paying them rent and was lying about working while I was at school so I dumped him and got married to my husband. So a bunch of my friends got mad at me and of course they wouldn’t have attended no wedding at that point anyways. I still had nobody at my vow renewal but my parents my husband’s mom at the time a couple of his nephews and a couple of our friends and that was it. We did the reception at our house we bake our own cake and everything and done everything our own way. It was really fun actually because my children were there my immediate family like my parents was there his mom was there a few of my really true close girlfriends was there. And we had a blast with or without 200 guests. and besides it cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to have a real wedding anyways. And it takes months to plan them. It takes several $100 for a wedding dress you’re going to wear once and then put up in a closet for maybe one day your daughter to wear it. I’ve been to weddings that were really nice again and I know what it takes to have a wedding like that.my best advice is to your courthouse wedding and after that spend the rest of your life with the one you love. It’s not the wedding that makes your marriage it’s you and your husband that makes your marriage. Shoot I got married in a pair of blue jeans and a long-sleeve shirt that was really pretty. it’s just one day of my life it’s not like it’s going to make my marriage or break It lol
Ive done both. Big wedding and courthouse.
The courthouse has more meaning to me.
Do you have kids? Have a college fund set up?
Do you own a home? Got the money saved for a downpayment?
Do you have a decent, reliable car?
If no, theres more important things than a big wedding.
If you’re hell bent, have a vow renewal on your 10th anniversary.
He wants to marry you! Tie that shit down if you love him!
My husband and I were supposed to just go to the courthouse and get married. When we went to get our wedding license there was a card for an ordained minister. We called him and he met us under the Arch, we’re in St Louis, that was where my husband took me for our first date. So we had a tiny wedding at our spot. Look into it! I can’t remember the cost, but do remember my dad tipped him. That way it has at least some sort of meaning to you and FYI I’ve been planning a bigger wedding for 6 years now. More kids were thrown into the picture and just simply more life! I’ve finally come to the conclusion that my tiny one was just enough.
We got married in my living room shrug
There are a lot of couples that get married at the court house. They do dress up, in their wedding attire. Afterwards, maybe have a party at your house to celebrate your union.
I was told samething and it never happened
I mean if you’re just worried about the monetary value of a wedding then maybe you shouldn’t get married. Weddings are just an unnecessary money sink. Going to be married 3 years this summer and we went to a courthouse. Don’t regret it at all and honestly just happy I’m married to my best friend
Explain that to him, do you mean real wedding as in big or just a wedding, you can have a real wedding on a small budget
I’m also a woman and I didn’t care less if I had a wedding or not. Not all women care.