I think this situation is different because the older girls dad passed away. It’s not a step child situation. I would definitely just send ideas for the older girls. In the future you can explain to your other daughter that her daddy is still alive and she spends time with him and his family. I wouldn’t expect anything for the baby.
They said “the girls” right? So just tell them what “the girls” would like. Don’t let your negative side influence “their” intention.
I would only include the older two since they are their family not the babies. But if they would ask about the baby then that would be a different story
My ex husband, always included my son, from my new marriage, he even had a birthday party for him! Also, my new husbands mother, always bought for all the kids, that included my two kids from my previous marriage. I never asked anyone of them to buy for all, they just did! I would just tell them what the older two girls want, and let them bring it up, if they want to buy for the baby too! My personnel opinion, is kids are kids, the children are related, so people should buy for all the kids!
Don’t give a list for all 3 girls. If you do and they only planned to buy for the 2, you don’t want them to feel obligated to buy for the baby. If they ask, great. If they don’t, you shouldn’t feel offended. I agree 100% with a previous post, this should be a special moment for your girls that lost their dad. This time of year people get lost in gifts and forget what the season is about.
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Just include their grandkids. If they ask about your daughter then tell them.
Well, it’s a good thing the baby is a baby so it won’t know it’s not included. That way you’ll have time to figure out how to tell the kid not to be upset when the child is not included.
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The baby won’t know at this stage but it’s a good opportunity to start thinking about how to navigate the needs of a family that has different relationships. It probably won’t be for a few years so you have some time. As a child of divorce and with remarried parent and new half sibling and as a therapist, my advise would be to normalize the potential conflict this could cause and use it as a chance to teach kids to manage challenging situations.
That’s a tricky situation in my relationship my guys mom included my kids in gift buying. She treated my kids as her biological grandkids.
Funny thing is my own mom never bought my kids sh*t.
Go figure, now myself I would just worry about the biological kids then when your done telling them, if they want to include the baby.
They will bring it up as “Well what about so and so” if they dont mention anything then go to the store and buy a gift for the baby.
My oldest grandsons family has nothing to do with him not even his father which is good because the family is whacked but my daughter is with a new man and they have a baby but even before the baby his family has counted him as their family he calls the new man dad and he has a papa and a metal and I’m grandma the other biological side doesnt exist he has a family now
My oldest has a different father than my younger two. I have never asked his dad’s family to include me or my youngers in their gift-giving. I do ask my son every year if he would like to pick a gift for his siblings at his dad’s house though.
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The easiest way to find out is to send them what the little one wants/needs and if they don’t get the child something then you know their stance. I can see both sides to this debate but my family would get the child something because its a child that is close.
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My husband had a child before he met me and we’ve had a son together. My parents live a fair distance away so tend to send vouchers or cash for vhristmas/birthdays but they always give my stepson the same even though he’s not biologically linked to them… I think to be on the safe side, assume they won’t include the youngest as they have no obligation to but if they do then that’s a really lovely gesture. X
The baby is half sibling two the girls I feel it wouldn’t be right for your late husband’s family to not include the youngest in my opinion I would feel uneasy if they we’re to give two children presents then leave the youngest wondering why when they get older so if I was you I’d talk to them and if they do not wish to get your youngest a gift then they should not be allowed to give the other two gifts all kids should be treated with love no matter who conceived them 
I would personally give them a list for my older two, and since the baby is only 3 months old, maybe just add a “oh and whatever you feel like for baby”. Don’t make it awkward
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I would say for this year, to say something like, the girls would like you to choose gifts for them, as they enjoy what you give them. and see if they get something fir baby. That should let you know what their thoughts are. It’s very tricky I know Christmas Blessings
If it were me I would send a gift for all of them but good advise from , Deana and Kendra
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I would simply tell them what just those 2 want and see if they intern say “and the baby” and if they don’t then you have your answer. Unfortunately you can’t expect them to include your newborn because it’s simply not their family its awesome if they did as some families do
Idk. You don’t want to seem like your pushing for them to buy your baby stuff cause it’s really not there responsibility. But at the same time I wouldn’t leave anyone out. My boyfriend his mom always includeds my son even though it’s not her “grandkid”
itemized list child # 1dolly in pink #2 dolly in purple #3 dolly in yellow…christmas is for children and you have 3!!!
They are not responsible for any gifts let alone gifts for children they are not at all related to. Not to mention, baby baby is three months old. I wouldn’t get anything but may be a stuffy for a three month old so I don’t see why anybody would be offended in the first place.
i don’t wanna be that girl but i dont think they should be obligated to do that. yeah it’s awesome if they do include your baby but they don’t really have any ties to your baby besides the kids being related and i would just be glad they’re still involved. the baby wouldn’t know what’s going on yet but if it’s important to you let them know how you feel
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I have a step granddaughter I love as much as the others. Include them in little things in the baby’s life as a starter. Send them pictures as with their grandchildren. They may not want to overstep boundaries in fear of offending you or baby’s Dad.