Does anyone know how to successfully parent a child who has ADHD? My 7-year-old has the attention span of an infant; she never stops or slows down even for a second. She does not listen to anything. She is a free-spirited little girl, definitely just like mommy as a child. My husband is old fashioned; he doesn’t believe in medicating a child for being too hyper. In a lot of ways, I completely agree, but we’ve tried absolutely everything. She doesn’t respond to spanking, talking it out, time-out, or getting things taken away. The thing is, I’m not completely sure it’s ADHD or just plain disrespectful. At school, she is the best kid ever. Straight A’s and never had any bad conduct marks. Home, she is an angry little brat who never does what she’s told and likes to challenge mom at every turn. My sister can get her to eat at her house; I can’t even get her to do that. I don’t know what else I can do. Redirecting worked for a little while, but she caught on and stopped responding to that as well. They had a fall break this week, and damned near drove me insane. Being a mom is my number one priority. Nothing else means very much to me. If I never accomplish anything else in this world, I’ll be just fine with that, as all I ever wanted was to be a mom. But lately, I just want to leave my own house to get away from the fighting between her and her nine year old sister, the constant tantrums, and complete and utter disrespect. We’ve been having a huge issue with her touching people in places she shouldn’t. She’s been grounded numerous times before for this, but she just won’t stop. Before you suggest someone has done this to her, I’m the only one ever alone with her, and we’ve had the talk many times, so I know this isn’t it. I guess I’m just looking for some advice or suggestions I haven’t tried that might help. She says if we turn our basement into detention like school, she will listen. She obviously knows what she’s doing. How do I teach her to care?
well first step is getting a proper diagnosis rather than just assuming she has ADHD there are a lot of other conditions which also make ADHD.
go to the doctor but I agree with your husband don’t put her on medication
Have u tried maybe going to a doctor for advice they maybe able to advise you on this am from the uk and usually if parents think that their children have adhd there is a pathway to follow x
You could always do what every other failing parent does and throw them onto a crap ton of useless and dangerous drugs
Doesn’t sound like adhd to me. Sounds like she doesn’t respect you.
Get an official diagnoses from a doctor in case it’s not adhd
She clearly doesnt have ADHD if she is good at school and listens to ur sister. It is definitely something else… I would try consuling. Does she listen to ur husband? If sounds like shes mad at something in the house.
Sounds more like oppositional defiant behaviour disorder
I would think that if she truly does have adhd, her behavior would definitely follow her to school. Someone with adhd can’t just turn it off. I agree with what someone else has said about it not being adhd, but that she doesn’t respect you.
I would definitely go get her evaluated, there’s many things that present as ADHD but aren’t. Bipolar for example. They have very similar symptoms.
Not sure on ADHD she is not having issues at school. What worked for one of my children ( I have 6). Was sports and on off days yard work. He is now 18, and since he was 16 will clean and rearrange his room or any part of the house on his own. You have to make a stand somewhere. Since she is younger I would start with a sport. Then add in additional chores if continues to be disrespectful. But you have to stay consistent or it will not work.
My daughter is the same way and she is just a little diva brat
My sons dad was so against medication. We tried everything else n eventually I finally put my foot down n got him on medication. It was life changing for all of us. Once he saw the change in my son he was all on board.
What people need to understand is it’s such a struggle for the child to constantly being in trouble and constantly struggling. It’s exhausting for them (and you). Medication made everything less of a war for him. From his morning routine to being a better soccer player. My only regret is not doing it sooner.
If it were adhd she would not be able to listen or do work at school…at least my daughter can’t, she cant focus long enough to do school work.
It sort of sounds like disrespect at home…or maybe some sort of oppositional defiant disorder…not sure. If you think something like that may be happening then she needs to be assessed properly.
In the mean time just do your best. If I take video games and tv from my child as punishment shr will straighten up…but then in trouble again. They are kids.
Girl, good luck. I wish I could be one of those moms that have all the answers. I have 3 adhd kiddos and let me tell you it’s like having 15. And we dont do pharmaceuticals. CBD oil helps. Cutting sugar helps. But mostly just lace up and go. Dont forget to make some you time. I know that sounds crazy but you need to calm yourself before you can help calm anyone else. Best of luck!!
Just because she isn’t having issues at school doesn’t mean it’s not ADHD. I have an eight year old daughter who was diagnosed in January with ADHD and ODD. She is absolutely terrible at home but is a saint in school. Just like you. We spank. Take things away. Do time out. Everything. Nothing seems to work here either. I was all about putting her on medication but the doc didn’t want to do. She is non stop. Doesn’t relax. Nothing. The minute she walks in the door from school. I’m counting down the minutes until bed time because I too go crazy.
My son is the same…great at school and a terror at home. I just cherish the good times…and hope he’ll grow out of it. I’m happy hes good for other people…I guess home is his safe place to let it all out😫
Counseling, counseling, counseling! I’d say you’re probably right, it’s not ADHD if she’s fine in school and with others. She’s still young, so she’s not at an age where behavior correction isn’t possible. Do you allow her to get away with things others might not? I’m not asking this as a way to place blame, as that was a lot of my issue with my oldest boy. lol. An absolutely joy he was, around others. At home, I often wanted to staple his mouth shut and his body to the wall. I’m what I call a ‘lazy parent’. Empty threats, when he was little and giving in when he’d complain long enough, etc. I realized it was a huge issue when he was around 5/6. Counseling helped, but I won’t lie… it has been rough. He’s 16 now and soooo much better!!! Hang in there and I strongly encourage you get her into counseling. Mental health is truly as important as physical health. <3
My child has severe anxiety and was misdiagnosed for years with ADHD. Once you truly know what it is is when you start being able to truly resolve and help. My son also has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). My son absolutely hates being alone, so sitting in his room by himself was one of his ultimate punishments. Loosing the things she loves most would eventually be effective. Let her be hungry if she doesn’t eat, without giving in if she flat out refuses to eat (I’d make sure you are trying to early though, maybe adjust dinner to a later time).
Try therapy my son was the same and I took him to art therapy and it’s helped so much like he’s a different child
My 9 yr old son is adhd and the way it sounds she could just be add which isn’t as bad but for you to correct her you have to get at eye level with her and let her explain to you why she is in trouble. Don’t give her any red food dye it only triggers it. Don’t give her peanut butter give her nutella instead. For the attention span make sure she’s not getting bored. Only let her do something for a few minutes and redirect her to something else. My son gets bored of playing his iPad after 10mins. I also don’t give my child medication either. I actually give my child coffee or something with caffeine in it. That’s another way to see if she is actually adhd/add. Caffeine will do an opposite effect on a child that is. If she’s not she will be wide open.
My son has ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and that’s where the not listening comes from… its torture some days, and I cry myself to sleep multiple times thinking I’m failing as a mother…and my son shuts down like I do when he’s upset he wont say what’s wrong… so I tell him to go in his room and calm down no TV just sit and think and tell me when you’re ready to talk and when he’s ready he actually does talk to me and tell me what’s bothering him! He’s also done this to me when he sees me upset lol. It’s the simplest thing, that I never thought would work but it’s worth a try! But definitely see a behavioral therapist! And get proper diagnosis! Good luck
In my experience, unless her grades are suffering and you’re getting calls from the school almost every day… then she doesn’t really need medication. It seems like you need to be more harsher on punishment at home. When she’s disrespectful at home you need to really lay down the law and be consistent. She’s still young. You can make her do the things you want her to. Take her things, throw them away… show her you aren’t putting up with it anymore.
Have an evaluation done by a therapist that specializes in children. She may have some other behavior issues going on and a therapist could give you ideas as to how to deal with her to change her behaviors. Tell them up front that you are not wanting to medicate her but are looking for other forms of treatment. I can say this tho, As someone who was diagnosed with ADD as an adult and has been medicated, it’s a night and day difference on how your brain functions while on medicine. And medication worked for me. With my middle child a strict schedule was very important, we kept time charts, behavior charts and chore charts so everything was where she could look and see what she needed to do and how she had behaved. On those charts we also had rewards listed at bottom so she could see her goals. As for the touching others inappropriately idk what to tell you. And just because your the only adult around her alone, doesn’t mean another child at school or elsewhere hasn’t touched her or told her about that kind of behavior.
If this is only happening at home, then it’s not ADHD. Try her suggestion, give her detention. But, if she knows what detention to s at school, maybe she’s getting bad marks you don’t know about. Good luck. By the way, take her outside to play for about two hours to wear her out.
The child has adhd.
Don’t listen to all these Facebook doctor’s making the situation worse than what it is.
Mama, listen…
Get, ya baby to a doctor. Get her tested. And then get her on some meds to help her… Put her in therapy.
She don’t wanna act the way she’s acting. It’s impulsive. Millions of children and adults have the same problem. If she had a broken arm you’d give her meds. If she had heart trouble you’d give her meds.
Her brain is having trouble. Give her meds to help regulate it.
I have 2 that are ADHD we do lots of crafts and gymnastics at home anything of free range and letting her run and be spaztastic is great
Has she actually been diagnosed with ADHD? If she hasn’t, start there. Behavioral therapy is an alternative to medicating. If she has ADHD, most kids thrive on structure. At school they have everything scheduled down to the minute every day. She knows what comes next at all times. This is likely why she’s thriving at school. When she’s home, not so much. She doesn’t know what to expect, when at home. Sit down and create a family schedule/routine and stick to it. If she’s anything like my ADHD child, she will not like any deviation from the schedule/routine. ETA: My son’s behavioral Dr said to reward good behavior and not to focus on her bad behavior. Pick your battles with bad behavior. Immediate punishment for behaviors you deem really bad, like touching people in places she shouldn’t. Let go of the smaller issues. Keep punishment short as her attention span is short. Pick one punishment and stick with it so she knows you mean business. Reward good behavior. Dr recommended ink stamps on hands.
I don’t recommend medication I tried and it was horrible my daughter fell deep into depression at 8 years old
She goes to school so no you are not the only one alone with her. There may be a child at school that touched her. I don’t think she would be touching other people inappropriately if she hadn’t been touched by another person. It’s one thing to touch yourself it’s another to touch someone else and to even have the idea in her head that she could. I’m not saying she’s been hurt or harmed bit you know how kids can be. Maybe touching each other and running away or something like that. The touching may not have anything to do with her attitude or it may. But since you can’t figure it out it couldn’t hurt to ask a doctor his opinion on the situation. Maybe she wasn’t touched and is curious if everyone has the same thing she has… Who knows
My son is a straight A student in advanced classes he is NOT medicated ADHA child he seen specialist to diagnose him bc ped. Did I ow how he could be so great at school and just not home life so we did 4 hour testing at a specialist office he has issues at home with his siblings we keep him busy now with yard work sports riding his bike or scooter he is limited on screen time and things have gotten better I decided not to medicate bc he does so well in school he is my 3rd out of 5 it’s not always easy but it can be done and as a parent to will find what works best for you and your family good luck
She may have some type of disorder. But as far as being an angel at school and other houses compared to at home…well honey, that’s just kids in general. Most kids are like that. Have you ever thought that maybe your kid is just exceptionally high energy and maybe too damn smart for her own good? And top that off with her feeling comfortable in disrespecting you, that’s a ticking time bomb. I like the comment above. Try sports and physical chores and activities. Wear. Her. Ass. Out. Every single day. Its a lot and it’s hard but it seems necessary. My 9yo was like this to an extent. Maybe she just needs an outlet. I think therapy and doctors are a bit extreme as of right now. After all, she is only 7. And some of that behavior is simply that, being 7.
You should have her tested it is heartbreaking to try and discipline a child for something she has no control over I have a 7 yr old same thing all A honor roll good at school very hyper and disobedient at home had him tested sure enough he has ADHD
I would take her to a behavioral therapist. Not someone that’s gonna throw her on meds but someone that’ll help both you and her. They could give you better advice on how to handle her actions and give her advice on how to behave better.
If your concerned about her possibly have ADHD go get her tested! Why are u asking FB for help when u dont even know for sure she ADHD? ur assuming, you could be trying to fix something that isnt even there. Or could possibly be something totally different. Talk to her ped thats where u should start 1st.
I had one that was even disruptive in school I’ve raised about 4 ADHD /ADD children both with and without medication one of our therapists told us to give about 2 ounces of Mountain Dew or coffee every day that work wonders because it works opposite for children I am now raising an ADHD grandchild and we do the same but it is important to keep them busy with crafts helping you do housework helping you do shopping and playing outside I am courage her imagination play not elect Tronic toys small tasks busy hands do wonders at achieving your goal I use a visual chore chart / calender and video game YouTube 1/2 hour max is a reward
Has it been diagnosed as ADHD?
I’m a Pediatric OT it sounds like there’s some attachment challenges and sensory issues (specifically vestibular if she can’t sit still). Has she had ear infections? I’d recommend an OT specialising in sensory integration. And just remember a behaviour occurs for an underlying reason so if you can address and treat the issue the behaviours will go away. Hope that helps.
My son has ADHD. Hes on straterra and has been for 2 years now. He is 8. He has the mood swings and everything you mentioned. He fights constantly with his brothers and never listens to me but does extremely well in school. Grounding helps…but i found the most helpful thing for his moods at home is threatening to call his dad(im a single mom). He doesnt however touch people in the no-no spot.
She could be oppositional defiant disorder and not ADHD. Alot of the systems can overlap. I’d have a therapist do an evaluation and start there
My mom raised me i had severe adhd as a kid. She says to keep her in timeout longer. Im the daughter like yours. Get a structured schedule for her and stick to it. As far as punishement take a chair in the corner away from everything. When she is missbehaving set her in it as long as needs be. Keep her there till she stops fighting you. It will take a bit to win the battles but you will get there. My mom said i was just like your daughter. Keep up the repetition bc eventually it will sink in.
Watch her diet. Research the Feingold diet it helped us a lot. Lots of breaks and activity. Also look into martial arts and music lessons
Try cbd oil a lot safer then medince and al natural
She touching people in places she shouldn’t what???
ADHD is what I was diagnosed with when I was little , I don’t recommend medication. I was so out of it I don’t remember almost all of elementary and middle school. It turned me into an introvert with little to no friends. Your child will grow out of it
This sounds more like ODD. But, the fact shes only doing this with you, sounds more like she just doesn’t respect you at all…
FOLLOWING, this is my step daughter to a T. She also is 7 years old, however she has went as far as hurting to the point of almost killing my (at the time 4 month old on 3 different occasions) shes gets in moods where she is down right nasty to other kids at school and at home. She will smile or laugh at you while your trying to disipline her, we have taken her in to a behavior therapist… not much change.
Put yourself in her shoes. She is struggling inside. She knows that she is supposed to do “better” but she doesn’t know how. Get her to a good psychiatrist. Have her evaluated and make a course of treatment for her.
As a mom of a 14 year old boy with ADHD take her to get tested to see if that is all that is going on my sons has ben tested and come to find out he also is autistic the dr said it is more common then people think that children with ADHD also are autistic or have some outher things going on but most drs just say it ADHD so they can give u something and get u on your way and yes out side activities will help her so much and therapy will help a lot and maby some diet changes it has help my son so much
You should be talking to her physician and a child psychologist. If she isn’t having issues acedemically, that says a lot. Unfortunately, the way you’re handling this isn’t helping.
I also have 4 outher kids and what help with the fight between them was giving him his space and stuff he can do buy himself he still struggles to keep his hands to himself sometimes but he is getting better with time and therapy
Sounds like my 7 year old!! We are actually just a few weeks in with play therapy for oppositional defiant disorder! You should look into a little bit! We are already worlds away from the hopelessness we felt!
My grand daughter was like this. Her parents also Didnt believe in meds. I would give her a 3 times limit. If she didnt comply after the 3rd time whatever we were doing was done. I gave her short 5 minute time outs which I had 2 put her on my lap cuz she wouldn’t stay on the chair but being consistent really turned her behavior around. We didnt have big drama filled fights like she had with her parents. After a few months she listened really well.
Watch her sugar intake. If it’s not ADHD, she just may be a hyper kid… I was. Also, they start testing the boundaries around this age. My six year old does it daily. I have an autistic daughter and an autistic/ADHD stepson at home and there is a 10 year age difference. Both of them being “socially awkward” had been curious about other children’s private parts (the 16 year old when he was a little kid) and have had to be talked to about it numerous times. Don’t freak out too much if she’s curious. It’s completely expected when they do not understand. We had a booklet made of pictures that talked about what places on other peoples bodies were inappropriate to touch or inappropriate for other people to touch her. Maybe try that. I would start with a child psychologist to do an evaluation. As far as punishment goes, I chose methods that would challenge my kids to try and mange their need to constantly stimulate… such as writing sentences, standing in the corner or sitting on the “thinking chair”.
And i just found out this year about him being autistic i was told when he was 6 he had ADHD but i went thru all the things u r but ever sence we got him in there i have seen so much improvement in him in a short time so i hope this helps if u want to talk more feel free to message me
Have her evaluated by a behavioral pediatrician or a behaviorist. And follow what they are telling you to do consistently. Both you and your husband have to be in the same page with parenting . Consistency is key. Children with special needs are always worse for their primary caregivers. Bc you are Their safe place. They hold it together when at school or other’s homes. And it’s exhausting. So when she is home with you she’s able to release. I’m a social worker and a mom of a 16 y/o on the autistic spectrum. Have her evaluated, Figure out what is going on, and get a plan in place. Things will get better. ((Hugs))
Fast forward 8 years and you wrote out my struggles with my 15 yr old. Yes 15 yr old.
I have him enrolled with a behavioral specialist that meets at home once a week and at his school twice a week.
I have him in with a therapist bi- weekly.
I am ALWAYS on the negative train with constant reminders about bothering his siblings or animals.
He can’t go past someone without annoying them 
Unless I give him meds he’s extremely hard to be around.
I will take any advice as well!
ok shes asking for the basement to be made into a detention… maybe she needs a place to destress something that doesnt have a bunch of stimulation… just relaxing calm and quiet place… does she recieve good attention from you like do you get down and play with her without yelling on a daily bases???
God im so glad its not just me.🤦
Why try to parent a child for a diagnosis they don’t have yet?
Get her tested and go from there
Her doctor should have resources for you
This post has helped alot
I stopped reading after “at school she has no bad marks”
ADHD can’t be turned off and that will be the first thing the doctor checks if you were to medicate.
Edited to add: that might have come out harsh in text. I didn’t mean to sound cold. My son has ADHD and just meant that he acts the same way at school as he does at home or with anyone watching him. He’s acted the same since he was a baby and medication does not change his personality or make him a zombie.
I suggest you look into how to deal with an ODD child and even how to deal with an ADHD child. There are tips and tricks that will help with ANY child at home that don’t require medicine.
One thing being to let the child feel like they are in control by giving options rather than a demand.
Another thing is to ask the teachers how they are dealing with the behavior since they seem to have it in control at school.
The man that created the drug for adhd said it was all a crock, you have a rambunctious child, get her into many activities
Therapy something is going on
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Could this be edited to note that the behavioral issues are not simply at home. School is the only place she does really well, but anywhere else, she’s a completely different child.
School could keep her busy enough to keep her behavior at bay.
She could be holding it back and has outbursts at home bc its bottled up.
I’m still trying to figure out what works for my oldest
Consist discipline at home. Sounds like she lacks consistency in her discipline at home. Try that for one week. No counting to three, no giving in, no yelling.
Something in her life is bad.
ADHD can’t be controlled.
Coming from an adhd/autism parent.
Get her into therapy soon! Shes acting out for a reason.
Is dad in her life? Is dad maybe touching her? Dont jump down my throat it’s a honest question.
What parents tell me adhd is no excuse it means u have to be harder and do more learning. So i suggest you crack down more when she doesnt listen.
You have to get her ready for the big world.
When i say harder on her i dont mean abuse. I mean a dicipline that she understand and that she will not get rewarded. U need to stand firm and not allow her to get away with it.
I think u should try a therapist for both of u and maybe meds. I hear after 6 meds r great even though some dont believe in it. Sometimes it helps…
My son, who is now 12 was diagnosed with ADHD at age 10. He was evaluated by his teacher and his pediatrician. I fully trust his Doctor to make the best decision for him. He was put on medication, he sees a therapist, and ever since he’s been doing so much better. He now has the highest grades he’s ever had in school. I know school is not an issue with your child but having an evaluation couldn’t hurt. Sometimes going the medical route is best for you and your child’s well being. Talk to your husband about it and go from there. It was one of the best decisions I made for him, he agrees with me too, he can concentrate without his brain making him focus on a million other things. Hope that helps 
You mentioned you’re the only one ever alone with her but also mentioned her being at your sisters house and I’m going to assume you don’t go to school with her. Don’t rule anything out.
In my opinion adhd is bull!!.. Its just a child being a child… Some are more rambunctious than others… Its their personality their growing into
My sil removed red food dye from her kids diets. Some say it’s a myth but she says it’s made a buttload of a difference. I’ve also read articles about parents who didn’t want to use medication and instead gave their child a small amount of coffee with just a dash of sugar and milk. Apparently it works the same way as the stimulant Adderall. A cup of soda like Coca-Cola has also be reported to help.
It sounds to me like you need to focus on discipline instead of punishment. You have to be consistent and she obviously needs high interaction. Your job is to teach her how to understand and control her emotions. She must know what is expected of her, and this has to be done by never giving in.
I mean, there are people pleaser kids with ADHD who perform well in school and lose their shit afterwards, but she doesn’t sound like a people pleaser. She sounds like a manipulator. A VERY smart manipulator. Only thing I can suggest is maybe having a more rigid schedule at home. Lots of activities. Bored kids act out and make trouble because it’s super entertaining. Mine does! Leave her with no excess time or energy. Like you know how you have to take border collies out for a run every day or they will tear your house to shreds? It’s like that.
HAVING SAID THAT, get this child an offical diagnosis through a hospital now! And NOT through the school. For real. I think there is something else going on here. I’m not totally convinced it’s ADHD, certainly not by itself. And, hey, if she DOES get diagnosed ADHD and Dad refuses to take the stick out of his ass, then tell him he can take her every day that shes not in school, because that’s some real bullshit right there.
I say that as someone who is ADD with an ADHD child with a HUGE attitude. It’s not only unfair to you to have to deal with those behaviors, it’s cruel to make her endure that! Sitting in class, however brilliant she may be, is tortuous. And if she is ADHD, and she really is THAT motivated and THAT controlled in school (never seen it before, but maybe??), then she SHOULD be in a full blown rage when she gets home! My GOD! I can’t even imagine. It’s like forcing her to wear an itchy sweater for the rest of her life! Let the girl take the sweater off if she’s itchy! She’s certainly earned it by not scratching herself at school all this time! Meds are the best way to get that sweater off her little shoulders. Also, those activies and heavy exercise.
BUT, DIAGNOSIS FIRST!
Then a treatment plan with therapy and meds.
Then sweet sweet relief. 
Good luck.
In school there is a routine. I’d make a routine and stick to it.
I’d get my kid into therapy asap. There’s an underlying issue going on that needs to be uncovered.
It she can focus in school I dont think ADHD is the only problem… my son has ODD and ADHD. I at first didn’t want to medicate him either, but HE was miserable trying to calm his brain down. He couldnt focus to learn and it frustrated him. A week after short acting adderall he built is first lego set by himself, start to finish without being distracted. I sobbed like a baby. The following couple weeks started. His 1 to 1 in school was in complete awe. He could sit down and focus on school work for more than 10 minutes at a time, he was making it up to an hour. I wouldn’t call not taking medication “old fashioned” I would call it unknowledgeable. For some it is a great tool that helps them succeed when they may not otherwise. As for this situation, if she can focus at school but not at home she is clearly in need for a physical outlet after school to release energy. Sometimes I just take my son to a field and have him run laps.
I have ADHD, I was on meds from 3rd grade to sophomore yr in high school. my first year in middle school, my mom with let me not take my pill during the weekend and give me a small list to do. that way I had multiple things to do and and keep busy. And on days I ran out of of my pills, I had to drink coffee or a can of Coca-Cola to help me. It’ll get me hyper for a bit, then I’d get really tired. It took a lot to try to control my ADHD so I no longer have to take my pill anymore. At school, my friends knew when I had my pill and when I didnt. they once told me I was quiet when on the pill and a talkitve when I didnt take it. At nights, i have to be mentality and physically tired to fall asleep. even to this day, I have to find away to tired my mind out, even if I’m physically tired.
Try to get the little one tired mentally by having them read a book they like, or a thinking game.
I grew up non medicated with ADHD. It’s definitely not a one size fits all…
Maybe look into time-in’s (sit and do something constructive)
My ADHD wasn’t shut off while at work or school, I just had good coping techniques. Tapping, knee shaking, writing words while being spoken too, moving in general tends to help a LOT
Please get help…therapy or meds or both…I can tell u from experience that impulse control can cause heightened aggressive states that include innapropriate touching and has the potential to ruin lives…dysfuntion or damage in the prefrontal cortex causes coordination and integration problems…impulsive aggressive tendencies have the potential to cause the sufferer to cause sevete harm to self n others…i raised a 22 yr old male w severe adhd n he hurt my 9 yr old w adhd…only easy kid was my first born n he has no disorders…the 22 yr old is super intellegent n functions well in many areas…there was no reason for it…i was diagnosed w HF asbergers at 43 yrs old due to cancer n mri needs n my flippen reaction to it…not my claustraphobia specialist psychiatrist said…he had to argue w me…but yes…he was all too right…My kids r not horrible tho they act so…they r truly sufferers of severe adhd…sad thing is us HF adhd or asbergers patients have nothing paid for so u might have to pay for therapy…but it could save ur kids future…please trust me…cause like u…when u know u know…blessings to u n yours.
Try giving her a small cup of coffee in the morning. The medication that they give children for ADHD are stimulants. So is coffee. Not to much sugar in it. Helps some children. Stay away from red food coloring
I know what you’re going through I thought my son had ADHD however he was his diagnosed with Autism. Before he was diagnosed we put him on just an mood stabilizer it helps a lot. These kids need stability and on a schedule, also they hate being surprised. You got to tell them you do something. Do your best, get counseling it helps.
I would try a cup of coffee before meds
Tanya Lawhon Clement
I’m going to open with this: I was an ADHD child. now close to 30, have my own child, and still trying to cope with adult ADD. I’ve worked with a child who was ADHD, around the same age and what I suggest below worked better than youd ever imagine.
Have you tried talking to her in a calm, understanding tone? Ask her why shes so upset, why does she feel the need to act as she does? Get on her level, sit on the floor, have her make eye contact and keep it. Explain what she did wrong, how it can be fixed and have her repeat back to you just to further soak it in (that way, next time there is no excuse that they didnt know what to do or that it would get them in trouble)
Spankings are going to make her more defiant same as taking stuff away. Time outs with a clear view of the clock so they may see how much time is left. One small toy, a good idea would be a stress ball. Just something to wind them down.
See kids in general, especially those with ADHD are easily overstimulated and they are kids, they dont know that’s the problem. If its loud, tv going and the fan, dog barking, dishes clinking ect. All of it can be overwhelming to a child, pulling their already short attention span in every direction at once and it makes them irritable as hell just like we feel as adults after a long day of work and yelling children lol. Sometimes all they need is some quiet time alone.
Just…patience and consistency(!!!)
Remember that just because you’re mom and you’re in charge, dont lose the idea that your child has their own understandings, thoughts, and feelings on everything too. While you may see clearly why shes incorrect, she feels totally valid. Ask her why she feels that way (without being condescending or irritable) explain why it cant be that way.
As far as medication, hell to the no. I’m about to be 28 and I wish often that my mother had gotten me counseling instead of feeding me kiddie speed at the age of 6. Because now, my brain doesnt function correctly when I’m not taking a stimulant. After stimulants for over 2 decades, my brain will never be the same. So now I’m an adult, trying to finally learn to cope with my ADD even on the meds.
More talking and more loving but yet again idk if I have that part figured out yet either? Maybe more conversations.
Coming from someone who has adhd, medication really helps, and they will grow out of the medication and learn to control it, just not that young.
I think u should take her to a counlor. And talk to u doctor, they might be able to help, she needs testing , i know its hard on u. Thier are parents that meet to help the parents too. I dont think shes doing this on purpose. Sounds like shes got some issues. I hope this helps.
I have a brother with ADD and the therapist our mom took him to said structure and authority are very important. Be consistent and be firm. Don’t know if that helps.
Uhmm wait… you don’t know if it’s really ADHD? Go to the pros. That’s step 1.
Kids with ADHD do not take correction well…look up parenting classes for kids with ADHD. You have to keep em busy like they did in kindergarten. New activity every 30 minutes. Ignore bad behaviors, praise good. Give short direction…one or two steps. Outdoor activities help a lot. There will always be one thing they love to do. Coffee in the morning helps but the key is knowing how their mind works and how to overcome it. Good luck…
Some times meds are the only option my sons both where on Ritalin both are about 40 now and I can see they even now could use it
My theory is why suffer when there is medication to help.
I was diagnosed at age 6 with ADHD. I got on medication right away and was on it until I was 18. It’s still there, but it’s more easily manageable as an adult. Take your child to a doctor and address your concerns. Hopefully she can get the help she needs.
My 6 year old has many issues (adhd, anxiety, ASD) etc. We are seeing a Psychiatric NP who is amazing. We had him genetically tested (super easy, just a cheek swab) and the results were lengthy but so worth it)!! We learned so much about him!
Take her to a professional! Get her counseling and help! Also get her involved in an activity or 2 a week to keep her focused and her energy out!
Take her to a professional. Even if you Choose not to medicate her, they will give you countless support and resources, as well as a professional to back you up for your husband. I raised two of them (age 26 and 30 now). It was critical to have a professional on your side when problems occurred outside the home. They only get worse as the kids get older. Best wishes.
At 7 I stopped speaking to my daughter for 3 weeks. If she didn’t use her manners, clean her space , be helpful, use her inside voice, I would look right past her. She then had to find another way to gain attention. Her babysitter noticed. A difference in 2 days. My husband took 4 days. She 10 now. If she starts down that road I just get silent. ( only works on her/the husband and other kid not so much)
If you’re not sure if it is ADHD then go and have her tested. It maybe that, or something else. But don’t just not treat it. If she’s just being bratty keep up with the disciplining. Make sure family members or friends aren’t letting her get away with things she isn’t supposed to be doing something at home.
Sounds like conduct disorder to me. I would absolutely recommend having her evaluated by a child psych professional asap.
My oldest son has ADHD, he was diagnosed well before he even started school but I still took him to be evaluated and diagnosed by the dr. Long story semi short. He was put on medication in kindergarten only took it for roughly 1year he had some major reactions to the medication. So with drs help we removed him from it. Jumping forward to 5th grade school iep.teacher recommended we put him back on a low dose to help him function and concentrate. He is 16 years old now will be 17 in dec. He has the opportunity to be takin off the medication if he chooses to but he said it helps him to function and concentrate to do good in school. He doesn’t take the medication during the summer or when there is no school he gets to be a normal wild teenage boy … there was a day when I forgot to get his prescription filled and I left him have some coffee now yes most would say that would wire him up nope it did the opposite so maybe give coffee a shot. Hope it helps