I need advice. I am 29; my sister is 31. Ever since I can remember, I have been abused by my sister in all forms; guilt trips, control, molestation, verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. I finally told my mom when I was 16, and it seemed to cool down for a bit- at least the physical part did. We worked hard to build a good relationship, and I had developed trust in her. Fast forward to now. My mom died, the company my fiance and I worked for closed down and laid everyone off. My fiance and I made the decision to send our three children to stay with my sister, her husband, and their kids while we attain new jobs. (We donāt want them involved in the mess losing our jobs created). This weekend while I was at her house visiting after my auntās funeral, we got into a disagreement about a minor issue (my youngest kidsā sleep routine). Instead of talking it out, my sister attacked me in front of my children. She tackled me, sat on my chest, punching me, and then proceeded to choke me. I stayed calm because my kids were in hysterics at this point, and my sister eventually let me go. She called the police to have me removed from her home. When I told her she would go to jail for an assault she panicked, threatened, and forced me to lie to the police, using my kids as a threat against me. I waited until the next morning and left with my children. How do I move on? She broke every ounce of trust my kids and i I had in her and her husband. I vowed to never speak with her again, and that hurts because I know that means I wonāt have contact with my nieces. I donāt know how Iām supposed to handle this, so I guess Iām just hoping someone may have some helpful advice or words of motivation. Thanks for reading.
Been there (although ive NEVER felt comfortable enough to allow said sibling to be around my kids alone) best to cut her off now hon
I think you need to just move on full stop 
this woman is nuts you donāt need that crap in your life sorry but she sounds toxic
How do you send your kids to live with your sister that molested you when you were a kid???
You did the right thing of you and your kids leaving. I would seek professional help for all the rest.
remove her from your lives. No one deserves to be abused for any reason, especially by someonw that is familyā¦walk away and dont look back.
Are you kidding me? You sent you kids to go be messed with? Wtf?
You need to go file a police report because I want you to have it on file for those children future if that is how she acts then she is more than likely going to turn on them one day and you filing a report now might help the children down the road so you can show proof of abuse. This is very very tragic but focus on the children.
youāre better off without her
Call the police on her. Screw her threats. Get a restraining order and order of protection for your kids. Get the crazy bitch out of your life.
Runā¦ donāt look back. Keep your distance. Sheās toxic!!!
Your sister is in the wrong. As hard as it is you have to turn your back on her. When your nieces are of age they will contact you or you can contact them. Until your sister gets the help she needs, stay away from her and keep your kids away from her too. If your kids witness this behavior between you and your sister they will think itās normal and may begin to treat each other in the same manner. Be patient and trust that everything will turn out how itās supposed to.
Why would you even send your kids to her if she did all that to youā¦ your poor childrenā¦
Iām sorry what???
You sent your children to stay with her with all the things you said she did to you 
wtf!
Seriously if some had sexually molested me they would the last person on earth to be around my children everā¦
File a complaint let them know u lied under duress & stay the hell away from her but most of all learn how to fight period
U should of beat her ass and remember the type of person she is and that will help u move onā¦ donāt Kno y u would send your kids to her
You came love someone just as muchfrom far away
Personally I would have not sent my kids there for starters considering what your sister done to you in the past. I would not risk my kids going through the same shit.
You asked for that oneā¦ I understand you were looking out for your kids but its better to struggle with kids than risk them being in a horrible place with someone who will/can molest them or worse. Cut this person out of ypur life for good.
Set healthy boundaries NOW! Public places only!!! Dont even go into a public restroom. Wait or pee ur self. Dont talk to her on the phone. Only txt, so u can take it in and process it and then answer back if u choose. Never let ur guard down. When u have obtained health insurance, go talk to a counselor asap
Getting out and away is best. It can be difficult to mentally justify completely removing all of them from your life, but it is beyond necessary for you and your kids to get away from it. I had to choose the same path for me and my babies, it has been 12 years with no contact and has been the best decision iāve made. My babies know my life long best friends/ adopted sisters family as their family. Please feel free to message me anytime, i am always here for support amd to share a loving helping hand. Prayers for you and your babies saftey and growth. Love and support always sent to you and your family.
Get your kids away from her and you kick her out of your life!NO ONE deserves this abuse from anyone!stay far away!
I have one sister, we cannot be around each other sheās a jealous aggressive manipulative using liarā¦ sometimes it doesnāt matter who they are if their toxic itās better to walk away , doesnāt matter if their your mother sister brother father or grandmother toxic is toxic and she will never change. Doing that to you infront of your kids ? Stay away sheās trouble xx
Therapy.restraining order.
Trying not to judge but why in the world would you leave your children in the care of someone who abused and molested you? You have no reason to keep this person in your life. Leave her be behind and get some counseling if possible.
Omg first of all why would you want someone that did all those horrible things to you to even be around your children? Do what you got to do. You & your hubby go work oppisite shifts at McDonaldās of you have to. Anything but leave them with her.
Remove her from your life remove her from your childrenās life. She needs specialist treatment and your not qualified . Look after your children who may need to speak to a professional help to eradicate what they seen from their minds.
Sometimes you have to move on and not ever look back this is one of those.
Itās ok to cut shitty people out of your life! As for your nieces, you can call them.send birthday cards and even deposit $$ into their accounts (bank or ph )at gift giving time.
Let her go. She obviously doesnāt value you as a person. Nor does she value your presence. Good riddance.
Forget you have a sister, sheās not going to change
I canāt believe you trusted her to care for your children if she abused and molested YOU. WHY? Thats crazy!And WHY would you want a relationship with her!
You canāt fix other people. You can only control yourself. Itās a sad situation but waiting around for her to change is not a solution. I wouldāve let the police take her. Seriously. Itās not like she wouldāve gone to prison. Walk away from toxic people. Your kids are watching you.
For your personal growth and the safety of you and your children you need to stay away from her. Moving on will be hard but talking about it is a start. Honestly some professional help may be needed for you just so you have someone to talk to who has more experience with this. I hope you are able to move on and live a happy healthy life.
You have had a lifetime of sibling abuse. There is nothing wrong with you other than abundance of foolishly thinking your sister will change. She wonāt. You have to move on with your own nuclear family. Cut her out of your life
Is this a real situation? Kinda hard to believe.
Your mistake was allowing your children to be taken care of by someone who has molested, verbally abused, physically abused you, etc ā¦ I get you were in a horrible situation between losing your mom and your jobs but thatās still no reason to allow your children to be taken care of by a monster!
She sounds very dangerous and toxic. Sadly, you should probably cut her out of your life.
Grow a set! Get your kids and get thr hell away from her! WHY would you EVER let her be around your kids after what she did on you? Also, you dont just drop your kids off when times are tough! Wtf?? This is all kinds of crazy!
She is a psycho ā¦ what did you expect? You keep setting yourself up to be the victim. You donāt need to hide the fact that you are looking for a new job from your kids. Trials are part of life. Keep moving forward and find a job. Your kids need to see how a sane STRONG mother handles adversity and itās not by sending them away to a crazy relative ā¦ time to stop setting yourself up to be the victim and be strong example of how to handle tough times ā¦ as far as the crazy sister it could have been one of your kids she attacked instead of you
I canāt believe you would even let this woman take care of your childrenā¦ I canāt believe you would let your children around her at all. What do you mean āhow do I move onā ā¦ you get as far away as possible. How is it āhardā to decide to kick someone so awful out of your life?
I have a daughter like this . She attacked me and threw me down the stairs over me buying my granddaughter a xmas tree . I cant have a toxic pwrson in my life no matter who they are . I lost my granddaughter in this whole mess and i worry about her every day . But you do not allow anyone to abuse you
Why did you send your kids to live with a woman that sexually abused you and physically abused you? I can not wrap my mind around your choice. How could you think putting them in her care would be better than them living with you in a shelter? I am not trying to be rude, I am seriously curious as to how you came to the decision.
One you go back to the police and tell them why you had to lie that you were threatened and that you have everybody that saw what happened you donāt let it go
Wait let me get this straight your sister abused you in every fashion imaginable and you sent your precious children to be with her? WHAT in the ever loving hell is the matter with you? You dont think the abuse stops with you rightā¦out of all the people in the world you could send the most precious cargo with you send them with herā¦smh. I guess it doesnāt matter what any of us say because you will make the absolute worst decisions and stick with that. You have to be off your damn rocker to even consider a relationship with her and then to send the kids to stay with herā¦imagine the things she does to all the kids even her husbandā¦wow.
So sorry for what your going through, I know it must be so hard since sheās your sister, but people like that do not deserve to be in your life. I wish you the best with everything. .
You should have broken ties with your sister long time ago
Wtf? First you are grown, whip her ass or get a bat. Second, after she did all those things to you, you sent your children to live with her?! Third, you should have pressed charges and took your kids that night.
Wait so your sister molested you and you sent your 3 kids to live with her? I donāt care if this comes off as judgey- Youāre insane and a terrible mother!!! GET THOSE KIDS BACK 
She is toxic AND dangerous. You find a backbone and you walk away and you never look back. And, I would calling the police back and have her charged. What kind of example did you set for your children?
No contact + therapy. Abusers should never have any kind of access to their victims, especially their children. See your nieces through another family member until theyāre old enough to contact you themselves. They will likely need a surrogate mother considering what their mother is like
Let go, very toxic person, you donāt need those kind of people in your life. you will get through.
Police have her charged
I myself would have had her arrested and took my children . I myself could not and would not be bullied abused or treated in this manner let alone my children heck naw .
Can the admins of this page report this anonymous person to the police or something? Like this is a dangerous situation for the kids and I canāt believe this page posted this.
No matter what is happening with ur life right now,ur children will b better off with u
Your sister molested you and you send your children to stay with her. You need to wake the fuck up!
Cut off all ties and seek therapy.
Wtf lady? Why in the hell would let your children stay with your sister?
Iām trying my hardest to understand how you as a mother could send your children to stay with someone who molested you? I dont care if it stopped or if she changed her behavior towards you. Sheās a sex offender she just wasnāt caught yet. Sex offenders donāt change their behavior they just get sneakier and better at it. If she did those horrible things to you WHY would you send your kids there? Iād stay in a shelter before I took my children into that environment and you left them without your supervision. You are the one who needs some serious help maāam you are enabling her behavior. I dont mean to be rude but itās the truth. You need to make positive sure your kids werent touched and DONT ever subject your children to that again under any circumstance. You are lucky this is anonymous because Id be forced to report you to protect your kids.
Get away from her! Take your kids away from her and dont look back.
This post is very confusing. If she did all those things to you (especially molested you), why on earth would you think she was a good fit to leave your kids with? To have the same done to them?
LEFT YOUR KIDS WITH THE SISTER THAT ABUSED YOU? ?
I donāt care if the have the title
Mom, Dad, sister, brother- keep that person away from your kids
Block- delete and never ever look back
You damaged your kids enough already by letting them witness that
Your want for love can not rule over your brain
Girl get you some help cuz I donāt understand your thought process. If she molested you why do you think she wouldnāt do it to your kids?? And you left them with her unattended for an extended period of timeā¦ Seriously if sheās harmed your kids with your experience of her past abuse you would get your kids taken away and be charged with failure to protect. Do you want your children to suffer the same abuse you did just to save them from tough circumstances that youāre going through? Which do you think is more detrimental to their overall health??
Go as far as you can. Itās her loss not yours. God will find a way for you. GO!
Wow why would you allow your kids around here alone at all when she molested you!??? That was your first huge mistake of a decision!!??? 
Well you first of all need to stand up for yourself. Youāre a grown woman and you have a family now. Second you need to file a report with the police for assault especially since people were there and they witnessed it and get a restraining order against her. You tell the police that you were threatened to lie and that your children were involved. As for not seeing your nieces and the rest of your family sometimes you need to do that in order to heal. It stinks because it is family but because of the circumstances you need to cut ties. Lastly I would take your child children to the doctor to make sure they were not abused in anyway. If she keeps harassing you, then have her arrested. Make a report with of for assaultā¦
Family doesnāt have to be blood!! Go make ur world!! Time for you to show ur children ur strength!! How people are supposed to treat you!! If she ever comes near you kick her ass for once!!!
Lots of issues here you need to work on. Please consider counseling. There should be a community mental health clinic in your area that offers low-cost services
I feel sorry for your children
I hope to God she didnāt molest them while in her care
Get your act together and take care of your children.
Keep them and yourself the fuck away from your sister.
That simple
At this point all u can do is move on awa from her and I totally agree why would bu leave ur babies with her??? That just doesnāt make any sense at all None
WOW you shouldnāt even need advice on this one cut her out of your life periodā¦end of story
You sent your children to stay with someone who molested youā¦? It may be best if your children are placed elsewhere.
Sheās toxic, cut off all ties
Why would you send your kids to live with an abuser? It was bound to happen to them
It doesnāt matter if sheās your sister, you move on and leave her in the past. Just because someone is āfamilyā does t mean they automatically HAVE to be in your life.
If your sister was abusive to you and even molested you, why in the hell did you send your kids to go live with her? Sorry but if my sister abused my in any shape form or fashion she would not be allowed around my kids. So yāall lost your jobs, ok Iāll send my kids to a child molester instead and that will be ok. You must be some kind of special.
Abuse is abuse no matter whoās handing it out. I would not have left my kids with her to begin with. Why would you put your kids in jeaordy with am abusive bitch. She abused you your entire life and you leave your kids with her. Sorry dont mean to sound mean but damn. She woukd have to apologize to my kids first before i ever spoke to her again. I dont know but i think you are better off withpout her.
This is difficult you and your sister need professional help not being sarcastic or judgmental but there are some serious issues that need to be addressed
Val Val i would beat her assš moun blan telman sot
Never talk to her again. Get therapy, lots of it.
So sad that, your sister needs serious help
This makes me sick, yāall donāt need kids
Get your KIDS OUT OFF THERE ASAP!! And Take care of kids ! Regardless of your situation of being unemployable you should NEVER leave your kids in the care off some one els im sorry but that in it self is wrong, im sure thereās places that can help with food stamps ect, your family so you and your husband need to stick it out dont dump your KIDS to someone else when shit gets hard , there are single parents who dont have a job or are struggling to get one and yet their able to keep their children with them, family work is hard but you and your husband need to show your children that no matter what happens in life hard or good that there mum and dad love them. Children are not subjects or something that you have around " when its convedents for yous" so take your children back show them the love you have for them and they are both yous first priority 2. Go to the police and report it and press charges against her ( be ready cause she sounds like someone how would go to child services) also talk to the police about what she did to you cause it sounds like its been pushed under the carpet but hate to say it shes probably abused your kids /brain washed them too . If she refuses to give your kids back call the police and have them help you get your kids out of there ,
She molested you?!! You sent your kids there thatās your first mistake. I understand everyone falls under hard times but Iād NEVER send my kids to anyone who molested me, mentally abused me etc. thatās ridiculous! You shouldnāt be asking for advice. You need help if the answer isnāt obvious?
Iād never speak to her again simple
Keep on walking and never look backā¦!!
Why was your older sister allowed to abuse you in your growing up years??
I just healthy boundryed my sister. I canāt take no more so I chose me. I love her and wish her many blessings but from a far
So your sister molested you and you send your kids to stay? Bit fucked up that!!
Wait I canāt even keep reading u said she molested u and u sent your kids with her!! U a special kinda stupid I canāt even believe this is real wtf is wrong with u
I really hate seeing all this judgement in this post. People have no concept of mental health and the affects abuse has on individuals. Healthy individuals do not send their kids to an abusive person. Who does? People who have been abused and have never recovered. People who have been conditioned to abuse. Severely mentally ill people.
I am beyond positive that this woman beats herself up beyond imagination.
It sounds to me as if you are a severe codependent. I would say that it is possible that not only your sister was abusive but that one or both of your parents were as well. Additionally, I think he rage shows that she was probably a victim of molestation too. Her anger towards you, suggests in my opinion that she holds a lot of resentment towards you in addition to her dealing with her own issues. Codependency is a severe lack of self love and identity. People pleasers. Itās an actual addiction in which codependents do not feel worth anything unless they have the presence of someone else outside of themselves. Codependents hate themselves. It can be so severe that codependents attract and stay in abusive and toxic relationships. This explains a part of why you placed your children with her even after she has molested you. I feel bad for all involved. My suggestion? Cut all ties. The only person we can control is ourself. I would seek assistance only from people who are safe and community programs. Additionally, I would definitely seek counseling immediately. For yourself and for your children. You never know what she could have done to them. I know the pain you are going through. A lot of times people ignore and pardon toxic and a abusive relationships not only because we are deeply damaged and victims ourselves but those around us tell us we are paranoid and ācrazyā. I am sure as far as the abuse within your family that it was largely ignored and not addressed. You can not save her or fix her. You can only fix yourself and I would surely be making police reports and calling children services if she has her own children.
Sending love.
Why would u leave them with your sister who did all the horrible things u listed above? U thought she wouldnāt do it to them? Where was ur husband when she was trying to kick ur ass? So what if u told the police what she didā¦unless u did or are doing so.ething wrong how can it jeopardize ur children? Dudeā¦as far as ur relationship with ur sistersā¦run away from anywhere she is as fast as u freakin can
This can be attempted from many angles. I wish you didnāt lie to the police. Next time you should not.
I wouldnāt leave my kids with her.
Trying to get a job- did you try a temp agency?
Also- apply for welfare and possibly housing.
Itās sounds funny but when you get money might be time to get some martial arts classes. At least learn how to defend yourself and hold her.
Id rather live in a damn tent than ever send my kids to live with someone who physically and sexually abused me. Get some help. Break the cycle. Come on now!
First of all not only would my kids not be involved with her but I probably woulda stabbed her when she did all that I just canāt with some people I think this is fake for someone needing attention this just canāt be real I think this should be removed
You say she abused you when you were growing up and yet you leave your 3 children with her knowing she can be violent!!! Iām sorry Iād live in a cardboard box before allowing someone like that around my kids.
Yes after everything what happend you" HAVE TO KNOW WHAT TO DO āTHEREāS NO QUESTION ABOUT THATā.
Treat her like a virus, once its gone dont catch it again stay away from toxic ass ,I think I woulda poured syrup up her nose as she slept tho ,cas a bish cant rinse out a nose without drowning .shes a demon move on
Itās very hard to cut off someone that you love. Iām dealing with the very same. My sister is very emotionally and mentally abusive. Sheās made threats to physically harm me. It hurts bc it cuts me off from my niece and nephews, whom I love with my entire being, but at some point enough is enough. She most recently threatened to call my job and make up lies to get me fired. She did in fact. My boss told me that they received a phone call from a woman regarding me and my āexcessive drinking and drug useā!! 
I find that hilarious and so did all of my bosses. Thank goodness they love me at my job and saw her for the psychopath that she is. That was the last straw. She told my father, āTell Sara Iām ready to talk when sheās ready to apologize!ā As fucking if, dude!!! Sheās a nut. My life is so much calmer and more pleasant without her around. I still talk to her eldest son. Heās almost eighteen. I know itās hard, but removing them from your life is the best thing you could do.