Get the abuse on video secretly, if you can and send his ass back to prison where he belongs. Call any churches in your town or shelters to start looking into getting the help you need
Leave. Even if it means youād have nothing except the clothes on your back & your children.
Make a plan. If you live away from family contact them and see if someone could help you move. For your plan
- find someone to help you
- go to police station first tell them what is happening, more than likely they will tell you to go to womenās shelter or domestic abuse shelter
- go to wherever police tell you to go
- wait there for your family to come or see what they can do to help.
- new place to live and try getting a job to help w bills go to local social services and see what you qualify for.
- go to a lawyer tell them whatās happening see how they can help.
- DO NOT GO BACK. EVER.
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How is it possible for groups to allow anon posting like this? I feel bad for the poster, yes, but she needs help. Not words of encouragement from other people on facebook, she needs a police officer at the house immediately. She needs to protect those children. If someone saying this, is considered bashing, what kind of group am i in? Iāve been in abusive relationships before, i grew up watching my mom being abused as well. In situations where you know about abuse, and turn a blind eye, you are just as terrible as the person doing the abusing. Help this woman. Donāt post it on a blog for the world to see.
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Call 211, the United way will help you find the resources you need in your area. Dont tell him youāre thinking of leaving. Just be gone when he gets home one day. Keep your phone off or reset it if he has any way to track you (apps). Tell the police about EVERYTHING. If he did 3 years the chances are that hes on thin ice.
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There arenāt words of encouragement for this situation. You donāt need encouragement to keep on in this situation. You need to call the police or local domestic violence shelters, emergency nutrition and housing assistance, or social services and similar resources to get your children and yourself totally away from that environment.
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I agree with others to take your kids to a womans shelter. They have resources to help you. You have to believe you can do it by yourself, because you can. It might not be the best house you all end up inā¦but it will be one where you all can be happy.
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Since u have no.family there look into other states start fresh where you will get help with housing there are many programs in different states that help single moms on SSI. Look I to itā¦ or go into a financial aid office ask questions look for resources but gtfoā¦ before it gets worse
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Woah ā¦ why post here my girl ā¦ Your bags should have been packed when he was doing his bit .
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Restraining order for one. There are resources locally, look into all of them from foostamps to low income housing. You can do it hon. Thereās also energy assistance for the winter depending upon where you live. Never tell him youāre leaving, donāt give him a reason not to go to work and call around maybe a local church can help you get out. And it sounds like he is raping you if you donāt want to do those sexual acts. I was married and my ex made me do it too or else he would keep me up all night or turn off the heat in the house or turn off the power, there were more things he did if I protested. And look into legal aid for legal help. My state has 411 to call for services. I donāt know what your states number for assistance help would be. Take care and be careful. A womenās shelter will have the help you need and I think a little call to a church will help you get there if you donāt have transportation. Make plans while heās at work, never let on youāre doing it.
Leave go to a shelter
When he leave for work grab backpack of cloth for you and the kids go to the police station and tell them whatās going on ask them to help you get in a shelter or find some help they will get you the help you need do it asap before he kills you and the kids
Make a plan to leave hide money for a lawyer file for full custody of the children get proof of bruises when left the mean things he says video tape his interaction with the children back everything up to your Google or cloud account or send to a trusted friend but you need to leave. Itās not fair to those kids that they are being abused to because your still with him. You need to leave for those kids being abused growing up all they will remember is wondering why you didnāt leave for them
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That is abuse and you should not tolerate any form of abuse because through time it esculates. Also, according to CPS staying in the situation with the kids around it considered child abuseā¦for you and the kids you need to consider counseling or leaving.
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Why are you letting your kids be around this man? Especially if he has a gun. LEAVE! Find a womanās shelter and get the hell out. Heās a loser, your and your childrenās safety is more important. Also is he on parole? Isnāt owning a gun breaking parole? Have his ass arrested and get out
It is possible to be happy and take care of your kids on SSI. You need to leave go to a shelter you and your children deserve so much moreā¦
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Leave while heās at work. Use your ssi money to get a bus somewhere else, different city maybe? And donāt contact him. Go to the welfare office and ask for assistance. They can help. And just start from scratch. Please donāt teach your girls that, they will grow up and think that is normal
Make a plan, find someone to live with, get alimony or child support from him. FORCE him to pay. Thatās how you can afford to take care of your kids. Go to HUD. Apply for affordable housing, apply for food stamps, grants, etc. Find a womanās recovery group/home. They can help you get on your feet too. You have options, donāt put up with him and his shit. It sounds like yāall donāt love each other, so make a plan and stick to it.
Go to a shelter with the kids. Theyāll help you from there. Anything is better than this
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Run. Because he will hurt you. He will hurt your kids.
When heās at work pack your bags and leave! Your kids are going to be traumatized for the rest of their life if you donāt do something now.
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I think itās really important that you get yourself and your children out of this situation. Perhaps try applying for section 8 housing? In the meantime, maybe a womenās shelter? I would take death threats very seriously even if he says heās joking. Thatās just not a joke. Iām seriously concerned that things could escalate from here. I know I watch too much true crime tv, and I know itās so much easier said than done. Anyone can say find a womanās shelter but I get that itās not an easy thing to decide with 3 kids. It just sounds very serious, and I would take it very seriously.
Money or not you will figure it out leave his ass and never look back you can let your girls think itās ok to be treated this way. Us as woman always find a way I would live in a shelter before I would let some man degrade me! You got this girl
Fond a safehouse and LEAVE. They can help you get settled.
Itās not as simple as leaving and going to a shelter but you need to get away and quick. Leave when he is gone. Call the authorities. They can help with a domestic abuse place to help get you and the kids out of there safe. Sign up for HUD . Yes there is a waiting list in most places but you never know you may get in quick.
She needs to call the police on him and she needs to leave even if itās to go to a shelter for women and children itās wrong to leave your kids or yourself in that situation
Honey you already know what you need to do. With everything you said heās done & said he wants to find some one " better"- you need to get your kids and get out asap! Iām afraid if you stay heās liable to kill you & your kids. Please get out.
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Donāt have time to read all commentsā¦but take your name off of the lease/any utilities, pack only essentials and go to shelter. File for emergency protective order and emergency custody. Use resources from shelter to find a job/childcare. Once you get protective order file contempt of court every time he breaks it, even if he just texts and says āhey.ā
Just not sure this is on the level.
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Find an advocacy center in your area or close by, talk to them about your situation and theyāll help you find resources and figure out how to safely and successfully leave him with your girls
Come up with a safety plan. Get as much important paperwork and essential items into a back pack or in one spot so you can grab them in an instant and leave If you have to. Call your local womenās shelter. As others have said, they have resources, financial, housing, counseling for your family, they can send a cab to come get you and your girls. I know because I left an abusive situation with two baby boys and the clothes on my back. Itās not gonna be easy but you and your girls need to be out of that situation to start healing. Itās going to get progressively worse and if you want to stop the cycle from reaching your daughters you cannot let them witness their mother being abused and you cannot let this man abuse your babies. Be a mama bear and protect you and those babies!!! Have faith in your abilities, youāre a survivor and you and your children can thrive in a different life 
Abuse is abuse. Itās time to part ways with him. It WILL ESCALATE. If not for yourself, for your children.
Iāve decided to lay bare my experience, which I can only hope will help you gain the confidence to do what you know you want to do. It may be lengthy, so donāt feel obliged to read on.
Admin - please delete my comment if you feel it necessary.
I witnessed my mother struggle every single day with my abusive āfatherā.
For 18 years, she kept putting one foot in front of the other. We could tell she was trying to put on a brave face for us kids, and always tried to not let my sisters and I hear her cry whenever she thought no one was around.
My āfatherā, to put it simply, was a horrendous human being.
My mother was forced to be his slave, quite literally.
He did not lift a finger to do anything, as he believed that was my motherās job. To serve him.
One memory is if him laying on his bed he had set up in the lounge room, and he would bang his cup on the saucer when he had finished a drink, and no matter where my mother was, she had to be present within 60 seconds - else the cup would be thrown down the hallway and smash on the ground.
That banging is a sound I will NEVER forget and I still flinch to this day if I hear anything like it.
The memories from my childhood are of things Iād rather forget. But nothing compared to how my mother must have feltā¦
With time it got worse, My mother started to recieve beatings for all sorts of things.
I remember when my younger brothers were bornā¦ If they cried, she got hit. And it breaks my heart to say, that after he hit her, he would hit them - tiny defenseless babies, all while screaming at them to stop crying. 
He forced my eldest brother to leave home a few days after he turned 18, because my brother stood up for himself and us.
One older sister was beaten for wanting to go on a date.
Another for joining the army.
My cousin was hit (on her birthday) for being upset, and another for standing up for her. I was smacked 20+ times with a belt for cutting my brotherās fingernails a bit too short. I Locked myself in the bathroom for 4 hours crying because Iād accidentally put a hole in the trampoline mat.
My entire family, relatives included, were walking on eggshells around him.
To him, children were to be seen and not heard. No one could say a word towards him. We were always constantly on edge as to when the next beating would be, and who would cop the brunt of it. If one of us did something āwrongā, we would ALL be punished.
This went on for years, until one dayā¦ A day that will forever be etched in my memory.
12/03/2005
I had just started high-school, only a few weeks into the first term of year 8, when I received a message from my mum.
The message said, āYou and your sister be out the front of the school ready to leave in 15 minutes.ā
In this 15 minutes, the school had received a phone callā¦ And we were met by the police.
We had no idea what was going on, and werenāt told anything at all.
All I can remember, is being taken to see mum.
I will never forget seeing herā¦ completely unrecognisable.
Swollen, bloody & bruised. Unable to open her eyes or speak.
In the few hours between us leaving for school and being picked upā¦, she had gathered the courage to tell him she was leaving. After 18 years, she wouldnāt do it anymore.
He got enraged and threatened to kill her with a car jackā¦
And then tried to do it.
As we later found out, he cornered her in one of the sheds in the backyard, and hit her repeatedly, over and over, with the jackā¦ To the point where she was almost unconscious. She managed to kick him in the knee and somehow, got herself to the neighbours 3 houses down, begged them to call the police, collapsing in their front yard.
She had literally fought for her life, while we were at school.
A few weeks later, the police escorted her to collect what belongings we had from the house. Which wasnāt very much as he said it was all his.
We lived with our Nana for almost a year, while mum did her best to get back on her feet. It wasnāt much of life, as per say, for a couple of years, all she had saved was $30 here and there from cleaning my auntās house every week for 6 months priorā¦
But absolutely anything was better than being around that monster.
Now, almost 15 years laterā¦ she is happily married to a man whom we are proud to call Dad. She has a full time job as a Director of an Early Learning Centre and owns her own house.
My mum is the strongest person I know, and knowing what she went through for us kids, makes me appreciate life to the fullest.
As for himā¦ He has to live the rest of his life knowing that he has 13 children out there who want absolutely nothing to do with him. He thought he could control us for the rest of our days, that we would be nothing without him. But we genuinely, have it all.
We have love, and we still have our family.
Something he will never have, ever again.
And he can rot the rest of his days within the prison cell he now calls home, which even that is too good for him.
The moral behind me opening up about all this to completely random strangers on Facebook is;
No matter how defeated you feelā¦ no matter how scared you areā¦or how alone you feelā¦
There is always a point you will come to in which you will finally say, āI deserve better.ā
You are no oneās slaveā¦
You are not worthlessā¦
You are not aloneā¦
You DO deserve better.
Just please, stay safe, and think of every option - or donāt even think and just get outā¦ while youāre still alive to do so.
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It sounds like youāve already answered your questionā¦ You know that this relationship is no good for you or your children. Heās a grown man and heās not going to change he is who he is. Itās up to you to take a stand and choose not to live like that anymore. There are a lot of assistant programs for single parents as well as going through legal aid to go to court and have paperwork drafted up for parenting time and child support. What he is doing is called mental abuse and emotional abuse. So getting out the four long-term damage is done on your children and yourself is the key.
Why do any woman want to go
Through life with a loser like that
You and your kids are too good for this. There are numbers you can call for single mom assistance. Protect you and your kids. You are WORTH MORE than this. No one deserves to be treated like this. You reaching out for help on here is a huge first step. That shows that you are brave and you have what it takes. You are amazing and so are your kids.
GET OUT OF STATE! If you Was in the UK my door would be open. Pack light and get out.
A little bit of tmi but you need to put your kids first there is help out there your kids deserve the love of both parents if not then changes need to be made
Call up your local social services office or better yet go there in person. Tell them your situation and that you need all the resources and help available to you and your daughterās. Remember that although you are at a low point in your life, making the right moves now will turn that around.
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My sister was in a similar situation with her ex husband. It took 13 years for her to leave but she took what she could, got the kids and went to an abuse shelter. Sheās so much happier than she was. I know its hard to part with what youāre used to but its going to effect your girls! when they grow up theyāll choose the same type of men. Please think of their future and yours.
It sounds like you need to leave him. Youāll figure out a way to take care if your kids. But heās doing mental harm to you and them. He WILL NEVER change.
Baby girl sending you love and good vibes your way also 
you get out with your kids safe. I went through the same thing only it got violent. act normal if heās out for the day ring police let them know what you are doing and arrange for that same day to have your locks change. Then call social as they have all the powers of keeping him away and keeping you all safe. Good luck my love xx
If hes been to prison is he allowed to have guns? Get dirty! Report the abuse and have him arrested!
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This is a pack your bags situation, and I donāt jump on that bandwagon lightly.
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Call shelters, get you and your kids out. Document what you can of how he treats you. Take that to a lawyer and the police.
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Thereās help for people in your situation, go get the help now and take your girls and leave! You canāt take care of them at all if youāre dead, if heās threatened you with a gun he just might follow through one day then your girls are alone and living with stranger possibly spilt from each other. Get out now! Donāt risk it! You can do this without him!
Please leaveā¦ contact your local county for services available for shelters or just google and start callingā¦ you need to leave hun
I know itās scary and hard and you have 1000 things on your mind wnd the future is blurry, but right now you need to concentrate on today snd today is the day you throw your essentials in bags and get a ride, or take a bus or your vehicle if you have one. Once you are safe, report him and everything that has happened. File police reports. I am sending lots of love your way. Please donāt wait, please leave today
Donāt post on Facebook if you want honest opinions!
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Iāve been abused so I know itās not as easy of āleave nowā for the fear of them killing you or your babies. If you have any free time when he is at work, call hotlines for abuse, sexual assault and things as such. There are sometimes group homes for single moms that are abused. And mommaā¦ let me tell you, even if you have to, when you are able to leave, leave with your babies and the clothes on your back and theirs! It will be so hard to start over but itās possible! I love you and I donāt even know you. Your story seems almost identical to mine. Having to do things that I didnāt not want to, just to pretty much stay alive. I understand how you feel and I hope and pray you are able to get out to a safe place with your babies!
Take yourself and the kids and leave, donāt look backā¦ One of yas will end up dead otherwise, if not all of yas
I have room and food in the cabinet come on over, plenty of blankets, and have the power of prayers
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Go to a battered womens shelter if you have no where else to go!!
Throw the whole man away get the hell out of there
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Take the kids and leave itās not worth it.
Lady u need to leave for the sake of your kids there is help donāt wait till to late that is no life get out reach out to police or family shelters
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Why keep sleeping with someone who didnāt want them? 
Darling, I am here to tell you that it never gets any better. I was with somebody like that for 4 years we had split up before and he promised me the world and more just to get me to come back too him. Just leave. Iām finally out and it feels amazing.
I was in a similar situation with my ex. He held a loaded gun to my head for 30 minutes. Iām still messed up from what he put me through. 
If you ever want to chat with somebody that wonāt judge you please reach out to me. I can even give you my phone number. Here where I live there is a domestic violence shelter. Please try to find out if there is one near you because you need to get out NOW.
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I see so many posts on here where women are either mentally or physically abused and looking for advice. Its so common many do not even recognize its abuse. Itās disheartening and a reflection of the oppression so many women suffer here in the US. Praying for you and your girlsš
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Omg call the cops secretly once they get there run out with ur kids
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Go to a shelter u deserve better your family deserves better ik u can do more without him there is safe haven u can go to and alot of programs to help u let him be a shitty person alone and u definitely can get full custody
Leave but dont tell him youāre leaving,pack up when hes at work and dont tell him where youāre goingā¦ itās not gonna be easy coa youāve been manipulated for so long but remember,in order for kids to be happy,their mama has to be happyā¦
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Go to shelter. If not for you for sake of your kids. Mental and emotional abuse scars you for life
Call the dam cops get your shit get the hell out fight for custody youāll get it to a homeless shelter itās better than what your in now good luck praying for you and your family
You need to leave right now. You and your kids will end up dead. Think about the kids. He would do the same to them. No doubt he would sexually abuse them too. He fits the profile. Call police and get out, go to a shelter, do what you have to do to get out. If you donāt want to leave, at least give your kids the chance of doing better. Donāt take it away from them. Do not concern yourself with your sex life, it is not important. Leave now, you need the police at your house immediately. Right now. Give these children a chance for Gods sake.
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I know its scary and its gonna be hard but you have got to get your kids out of that situation hun. See if there are any programs in your area that help victims of domestic violence. He may not have put his hands on you but the abuse is there. Run like hell. Good luck mama.
You need tl try and get evidence of what he does before.you leave
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Girl I know itās hard as being an adult has many obstacles that you have to think of. A lot of people think itās easy to leave. Please ignore their ignorance. My advise is to find a DV agency. They can help you with shelter, counseling, navigating the family court system etc.
Donāt run like people are saying. Situations like this escalate once you leave. You are at highest risk as soon as you leave. I donāt know what country your in but you need to call whatever domestic violence help there is and get a plan that will keep you and your girls safe.
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Hey message me I can help you out in some ways with this, I was just in a relationship like this
Oh you poor thing, I think you know what you need to do you just need helpyou must b e terrified.Please get help and leave. Good luck !
Honey take your kids and go. Think about it. Do you want them growing up thinking this is normal? This is how a man should treat a woman you the only role model the have. .you deserve better. Blessings and prayers.
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LEAVE. there are so many resources to help abused or single moms! You nor your daughters deserve this! TIME TO DO RIGHT BY THEM BABIES. They donāt need to think this is normal treatment or āloveā. Nor do you.
Take your babies and get out of there. This may only be the start, he could possibly hurt you or even worse them! Do it for the safety of your children
You can file for housing and tell them your trying to escape domestic abuse relationship and theyāll move u to top of list to move in
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Iāve been in this situation get out now it will get worse he may kill you and possibly your kids to go to the police explain everything file a report and they can help you get in a shelter and different resources once your free you will get back on your feet and feel so much better yes it is a struggle but itās definitely way better then staying
Honey, please leaveā¦grab your babies and goā¦them babies are holding onto those memories of him so run, even on ssi I think u can get assistance sign up for section 8 housing in your areaā¦JUST PLEASE GOā¤
So why do you need Facebook to tell you that you clearly need to leave? Hit up a womenās shelter and donāt look back. Theyāll guide you from there.
Easiest solution, heās a felon, so can not own a gun, right (Iām just hoping that heās not restored his rights or anything because I think this would be the easiest path)? Call the police and have him thrown back in prison.
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Leave. Many people raise there kids on welfare. It wonāt be easy but definitely easier than being abuse.
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He is abusing you verbally, physically, emotionally and sexually as well as abusing your children. Call the police and leave. If you have a joint bank account I would take the money from that first. Go to a shelter if you have to or move to where you do have family but get away before he kills you.
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Get your kids away from him NOW. Your kids deserve way better. Hopefully you understand that. Verbal abuse is worse than physical and everyday you stay you are making it worse on all of you especially the kids because they didnāt ask to be there.
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Hun, you said it yourself when you said your done. You sound like you know youāre done. I would start looking into the low income or income based apartments in your area.
I know you said you canāt take care of your girls on what you get, but hereās the thing, you canš You will make it work love. Us mothers make it work even with what little bit we have, ya know?
Please donāt stay with someone like that. He is only going to get worse because what heās doing with the name calling and threatening isnāt going to be enough for him. Do it for your girls and for your own safety please.
I know you said you have no family you can stay with or get help from, but do you have any close friends that you could stay with. Guys like this like to make ya feel unloved, vulnerable and everything else you could imagine just to strip ya of what we really are, so that he has the power and full control.
How did you do it when he was in prison for 3 years? I know you have two more kids, but can you try to get back to what worked for you then and leave him?
Also reaching out to your housing office and seeing whatās available for you because it may be different everywhere and what you qualify because of your ssi may be more. You donāt want your girls growing up thinking thatās the way that your suppose to be treated.
Also I agree, you can find womenās shelters. I would start checking that out first. 
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He can and he will put his hands on you guys if you are there. Get out of there.
If you donāt leave now, you might not be able to in future. My mother is married to a man like yours and couldnāt get out. Once I turned 16, I just left. I couldnāt handle watching what was happening. Havenāt spoken to my parents In 5 years due to fact sheās still with him and knowing what heās doing to her. I have a son of my own now and I would never let him meet them.
Be safe, get your babies, and go! 
Strength and prayers to you mama.
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You call the police while heās at work and you pack your things and leave. The police will offer you the right resources.
Get out. Get your children out. You do not deserve it and should not have to tolerate it. Reach out to someone you trust or go to the nearest police station for help.
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You can get income based housing that will accommodate the SSI. File for for divore, custody, and childsupport, and apply for foodshare, and wic if any of the kids are under 5. You can do it. Definitely not worth staying and he wont āchangeā even if he says he will. Keep any messages from him, and try to keep all contact threw text. Try to get a restraining order if he makes anymore threats.
Move and get away from him. The abuse will only esculate. I had the abuse with my ex & left! I filed for divorce
Honey you need to take YOUR girls and free yourselves from that torment and trauma. I know its hard, thats your family and their daddy but one day when they are bigger they will look back and respect you so much more for it. Remember mama you are your babies home, family is those who love unconditionally your their family. You dont want them thinking that love is abuse, or to end up in a similar relationship. Teach them strength and self love and respect by rising up and raising the bar for your self worth and value. Your worth the world and no one deseres to be belittled and berated.
While heās at work pack up absolutely everything you can in one day and just book it to a shelter. If you call a police officer they will come help you and make sure if he comes home while youāre packing things up then youāre safe
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Please leave him before he hurts you or the kids. This will only get worse!
Think about how your 3 girls are going to grow up after having had such a poor and abusive relationship with their father. They will expect to be treated by their husbands just like he treats you. And the cycle will repeat itself. Please leave. He clearly resents you all and wants to be left alone. Do you really want to be with someone like that. And it sounds as if your life is actually in danger! You really shouldnt stay a minute longer.
Trust me itās only going to get worseā¦ It did in my situation and Iām now stuck in a safe house 24/7 afraid to leave because things got so badā¦ Leave while you can and tell him heās free to be by himself without his family and just pack everything and leave to a familyās house or call domestic violence shelters. The local police station should have the numbers to call for those shelters thatāll protect you and your kids
You can go and take your kids to a shelter. There are battered women shelters all over the place. They will not only help you get a place, they will point you into the right direction so you can get help with your kids.
Social services is a good place to start
This is domestic violence whether he is hitting you or not. Donāt say a word to him but contact a domestic violence shelter immediately and they will help you and your girls leave safely. I know itās scary but you can do this. A shelter will help you to get on your feet and find your own place. YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTERS DESERVE SO MUCH MORE. PLEASE LEAVE HIM ASAP, this will teach your daughters that it is not okay to be treated this way. Iām praying for yāall. YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU DO NOT NEED HIM!!!
Sweetheart you have to leave find a refuge your daughters are seeing and feeling this they could grow up thinking this is what love is and youāll have to watch them living this same life xx good luck xx
Wait until the next time you get your SSI checkā¦how do you get that? Plan months day you get it ,you leaving. Pack up all you can in the first few hours of him being gone to workā¦call police to come help you, explain to them what is going on. Do it quietly and carefully, go to a shelter (have that lined up first) go get you and your kids on wic if any or all are under 5ā¦get a protective order. LEAVE him before he takes you away from your children for good.