Trigger warning: How to deal with and let others know about a miscarriage?

After a miscarriage did you announce it to family? How did you get through it? How did your SO handle it? When did you know it was time to try again?

19 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Trigger warning: How to deal with and let others know about a miscarriage?

We did not announce it.
In the beginning I handled it terribly, so did he. But we started talking about it more and more. Also we decided to name our baby and that helped the healing process TREMENDOUSLY.
We started trying again about 4 weeks later. Got our rainbow baby 1 1/2months after miscarrying. I got pregnant almost immediately and that pregnancy helped us cope with our loss.
Overall, you never FULLY heal from your loss. But accepting and acknowledging what happened, definitely helps with the healing process.

I told all of our family members. My fiancé kinda dismissed the whole thing, but then again even throughout pregnancy the guys don’t feel what we feel. Our doctor told us to give it 3 periods before trying again. Had a miscarriage in March got pregnant in September. I’d let yourself heal and don’t down play how you’re feeling for anyone

2 Likes

I have had 3. 10 weeks 7 weeks and 18 weeks. I told my family as it was happening (mine were traumatic and needed emergency medical care). My husband was with me and supported me tremendously, I honestly believe it brought us closer. My obgyn/ pcm told me when to conceive, they told me I didn’t need to wait (until my 18 weeks, so I had time to physically recoup)

I just didn’t tell anyone only certain people know

2 Likes

You get through it one day at a time in, your own way. If you need help, talk to your OB/GYN. As for letting your family/friends know. Do it when you are ready

I told my sister and had her tell the rest of the family for me so I didn’t have to. And also had her ask them to give me space for awhile

Told our parents & let them tell everyone else. I had a D&C in November of 2016 and was pregnant again December 31st 2017 and had my son September 21, 2018 :blue_heart:

I had only told my immediate family the first time and I told them we had a miscarriage since we needed a sitter for our other 3 kids. I didn’t tell anyone that I was pregnant the 2nd time. I waited 6 months in between since I wasn’t sure if I can deal going through that again.

I told my parents i was pregnant … they were NOT happy about it, i miscarried at 6 weeks whilst out for dinner with family, so my mum and partner took me to the hospital, my mum was amazing, partner…he didn’t really show emotion about it - i got pregnant again a few months later, and i lost it again at 13 weeks, i gad to go to hospital and have a d&c as baby wasn’t developing properly…i had to go through that alone, so my mum and dad knew, mum again was amazing. At 18 i was told I’d never have children, it broke me! … at 20 i got pregnant with my rainbow baby, had her at 21, then another two 18 months apart from each other :see_no_evil:.
I still think about the two i lost, but the three I have now get me through the days.
I have never fully healed as such emotionally, just take each day as it comes. Talking really helps!x

We told both our families and friends. And we kept to ourselves for a good month. We spent a lot of time together and talked about it. We cried together, and went through all the emotions and questions. It never gets easy. Here I am years later after my second miscarriage and I haven’t been able to get pregnant again. We’re okay with that though. To us it’s if it happens then it happens. But y’all have to talk about it and I mean really talk, and express your feelings. It’s a long process, but if you stick together and be there for each other then you will get through it. Remember you both lost a baby.

I only told certain people as I wasn’t that far along (7wks) so only a handful knew I was pregnant because I was still a week away from my first appt when it happened. :sweat:
The first week was really hard for me, I took a week off of work that way my body physically went thru it, but mentally I still have moments where I’m like “what if” or like recently my thoughts have been “I’d be 9months pregnant right now with just a few weeks left till my due date”. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully healed emotionally/mentally tho.

4 Likes

I told family but I dealt with it by immediately getting pregnant again.

I announced our miscarriage on my given EDD. I told everyone “I am so happy for all my friends and family that are having healthy babies but today I grieve for me and for Bean.” I lost the baby on Memorial Day 2020. My given EDD was January 23, 2021. The next day was our 7the wedding anniversary. It was really hard to come to terms with. I got a lot of support from the post.

I get that some women on here have had to deal with this heartbreaking dilemma. But why is this a trigger warning? Wouldn’t you want to help another woman with your experience. I know I would. I have not had a miscarriage myself but have had family and friends deal with it. But have had other complications about endometriosis and would love to inform other women.

Mine was an induced miscarriage due to it being an ectopic pregnancy. So my friends and family were aware of what was happening. My ex husband carried on like it never happened and I never really got to deal with it. I spent some time with myself or my other 2 children and just cried all the time. Eventually it kind of just went away. Not the best way to deal with it. I wish I had got help. My ob told us to wait at least a month to start trying again. Took 6 months, but we got our rainbow baby. I note have a happy and healthy 4 year old.

My miscarriage was a surrogate pregnancy so it wasn’t my spouse’s. I was 16 weeks along and the loss was extremely difficult for me and the mom. We grieved together but also decided we wanted to try again as soon as the doctor cleared me. We made a concise announcement on social media which informed most of our family and friends with the least amount of face to face interaction. Others were informed when they asked. Our loss was the last week of February of that year and we started trying to conceive again in April. We were successful in the first cycle of trying and her daughter was born in December.

1 Like

I had four before I had a successful pregnancy. My best advice would be to let it all out! If you need to cry, cry. If you want to scream, do it. If you want to be alone, do it. If you want to talk about it, talk about it to anyone willing to listen! Our families knew we were pregnant so we told them when we miscarried. Ask your doctor about trying again. I had one tell me three months, one tell me 6 months, and another tell me I could start right away. But it also depends on how far along you were and what’s needed done.

I let everyone from the get go know I was pregnant bc I knew I’d want the support if anything had happened. I would’ve tried again right away had the baby’s dad not left. It left a hole in my heart for a long time and the first chance I had to get pregnant again I jumped on it even if it wasn’t the right time . I had my baby girl, my absolute little soul mate in 2018 and met the most wonderful man in 2019 that swept us both off our feet and gave us two more babies❤️ things got better than I could’ve ever imagined and I’m so glad I never gave up on my life

I didn’t want to be pregnant for the first 5 weeks but then I started getting happy about it and then by week 11 … I found I had miscarried… I was devastated and my husband cried… and blamed me… well the day I went in for a dnc the doctor came in and said there’s something I need to tell the both of you! Well needless to say we didn’t just lose one we lost two… we were both shattered… I went insane and my husband slowly started to resent me bc he wanted to blame me for the miscarriage well a few months later we got a surprise and now this little… is here but we are divorcing