Trigger warning: How to deal with and let others know about a miscarriage?

After a miscarriage did you announce it to family? How did you get through it? How did your SO handle it? When did you know it was time to try again?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Trigger warning: How to deal with and let others know about a miscarriage?

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Never announced any of mine.
Hubs took it better than I did.
We were never trying so can’t answer that last question, sorry

Feel free to message me so I can share my story with you :heartpulse:

I never announced it so I didn’t have to tell anyone else but my husband but I took it way harder than he did we tried again 2 months after the miscarriage and got our beautiful rainbow baby on the first shot!

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Never announced mine lost at 11 weeks he/she had no heart beat it was a very difficult time, my husband at the time was with me when we found out. He was heart broken. I think my mother let my brothers and sisters and grandmother know what happened. I had a healthy little girl 14 months later. Take as long as you need to grieve. I still think about that child now 9 years later but it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I’m sorry for your loss. :butterfly:

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I never really told people at first, my mom and now husband told most folk. Maybe have a close family member or friend break the news for you? Or you could use a social media post.
However, I am gonna be honest here. Be ready to hear a ton of bullsh*t comments trying (and failing) to make you feel better.
Also it makes everyone uncomfortable when you bring up your baby, but don’t let their reactions keep you from talking about that baby if you want to talk about it.

The only advice I can give is that there’s no wrong or right way to grieve. Whatever feels right in your heart, do it.


I told my close family the day it happened. We started trying again a week later and found out soon after we were pregnant again. Now my daughter is 8.

I only told my husband and his mom. Since I’m not supposed to be able to get pregnant, we didn’t know until I miscarried. It’s different for everyone

It was only after I announced mine that about 5 friends came forward and said they had gone through the same. I felt sad I never knew to help them. Also It felt better as I went to have 4 miscarriages before my little one was born. So I didn’t feel alone. It’s a very sensitive time for people and people don’t want pity or a feel of failure.

I had not yet told family i was pregnant. I called individuals asking for prayer, and told them i had miscarried. It did not go well woth mamu of them. I think i waited until the anniversary of my miscarriage to talk aboit it on social media. About a month after i went public, my rainbow baby was conceived.

I never had a miscarriage. But I did have a still birth my husband took it better then I did. We let all our close family there in the hospital as I delivers to say their hello and good byes. It hard trust me mama I know but I promise it will get easier. What got me through it was having my family by my side through it and talking about my sweet sleeping baby boy. We never really tried after but the good lord above gave me a sweet now two year old. I fount out a month and half after my son passing we were expecting again another boy!! I tell my son everyday he was sent to me by his brother in heaven. Talk mama it really does help let those feeling out!!

This is why there is the old wives tale where you don’t announce your pregnancy until the 4th month.
Not that you can’t miscarry after that, but most happen in first trimester and then you don’t have to go through telling everyone as it’s already hard enough.


I didn’t tell many at all. Only immediate family.

I had announced my pregnancy then had a miscarriage so I just did a fb post saying we were sad to announce we had a miscarriage

Dealing with it emotionally is different for everyone but just be sure to keep communicating with your spouse about it all and be there for each other

I had my miscarriage in Feb of 2019 and got pregnant again in July of 2019 then had by baby girl March 14 2020

Do what feels right to you. You have lost a child. Allow yourself to grieve however you need to. Share your hopes and dreams for the one you lost with those who love you. When you feel ready then try again.

I have had 3 miscarriages and was told I could have no more. 1yr later I was carrying my rainbow baby. He is now 41 yrs old and I still feel the loss of those 3 babies. We only told family and one close friend about it. It’s hard allow yourself to grieve as long as you want. My husband took it also he and I talked about those 3 alot. You need time my prayers are with you and yours

Announced to a few, most didn’t care or said things like, you don’t need another baby now or it wasn’t a real baby.

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I didn’t and eventually everyone got the picture I’m lucky and very choosy who I surround myself with so it was easier to handle

No advice, sorry 4 the loss. prayers 4 u and the family. I hope u get the strength and support u need in ur time of need

You do whatever feels right to you. We had a miscarriage for our first pregnancy and had already announced we were pregnant. On one hand, it was hard to tell people we had a miscarriage. However, on the other hand I received a lot of support from other women who had miscarriages as well. My husband was sad, but I was a wreck for a while. I recommend talking to your doctor about when to try again, but mine said that normally those who wait 6 months or more take longer to get pregnant. We tried again right away and got pregnant right away. Good luck, and I am sorry for your loss :heart:

When we had our miscarriage only family knew so we just told them when I was ready to. I felt so empty and guilty of losing him I was sad for a while I just took it day by day it is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone thru. My hubby handled it a lot better then I did but I knew it still hurt him too. We waited like 6 months mainly cause I was so scared of it happening again. But we got our rainbow baby boy.

Like so many things in life, there isn’t a one size fits all answer. I got my tubes cauterized after my third child.later divorced and then met my soul mate. I then found out I was pregnant. Implanted in my uterus. I was so excited, I told everyone. At 4months,I had to tell them I had a miscarriage. Some were very mean. " you shouldn’t have had your tubes tied" if you really wanted more. I got pregnant a second time. This one was a tubal pregnancy. Everything was removed. This was over 35yrs ago. I sometimes still mourn the loss.

We had told close family and friends we were pregnant as soon as we found out. Then the day of our first ultrasound we made it public and shared the news on social media. 7 hours later we miscarried in the middle of the night. My husband handled telling his family and my parents who shared the news with others for us. We immediately removed our announcement of the pregnancy from social media and never made an announcement that I miscarried. I chose not to because I didn’t want everyone telling me they were sorry or asking what happened. Instead we asked our immediate family to give us space. They handled everyone for us. We cried alot and stayed home. Took time off of work, ate alot of take out so I didn’t have to cook. He did better then me because he’s better with change and thinking logically I’m way more emotional. We waited a few months for my hormones and stuff to regulate and tried again. We have to do fertility stuff to get pregnant and after 3 failed attempts we decided we didn’t want to try but instead focus on us. I didnt return to work but he did. He was an over the road truck driver so I went on the road with him. It’s been 3 years and he is just now talking about trying again in the nearish future. You’ll never get over it but it does become easier to deal with :heart:

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It was a very dark time for me, my husband was sad about the miscarriage, but never showed me emotion.

I actually was miscarrying on a family trip to Disney…its suppose to be a happy place, not for me at all.

In my head it’s always been the…what was wrong with my child? Boy or Girl? Could they have been the next greatest whatever? Why me? Why us ?
This happened 2/08…and I remember every minute of it.

It took my body 8 months of preparing I guess you could say to finally get pregnant with our youngest son. It was not a happy time at all really, because I was due on my birthday the following July and that jumped me up into a very scary category. I would be 35, the chances of downs and other problems increased. We had to go through all this chromosome testing and ultrasounds. And since there is downs in my husband’s family it increased my odds.
To this day…I will never forget those moments…the doctor coming into our hospital room and reading the results and he being so upset at my doctor (ob) .


I chose to keep it to myself because it was a very painful and private issue for me. My husband told EVERYONE that would listen, ALL of the details. Very graphic details about what he saw, etc. I was mortified. Coworkers that I barely knew knew all about it. We worked together so we had the same crowd. We ended up not having another because I lost trust, but had that not been the issue I would say maybe a year later I’d felt better about the loss. Still not happy about how he did me dirty, but that’s not your situation.

I had two miscarriages before my son. The first I was very upset. And it took alot to get over. I’d be jealous seeing pregnant ladies and people pushing prams. The second I wasn’t as bad but my so was horrendous. I took 2 weeks off work and we spent most of it at home, enjoying takeaways, comforting each other and talking about how we felt. I was then waiting for my period to start taking my pill as I didn’t want to try again immediately, but I was already pregnant with my son. I still think about my miscarriages from time to time. Take your time, relax allow yourself to grieve.

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