This is a very sensitive subject. I recently had a stillbirth at 35 weeks a little over a month ago. All of these feelings not only for myself but for my current son, who is 6, and my husband is so overwhelming sometimes. I am looking at the positive, and I trust God has a plan for us, so I hold on to that and my faith, but is there anything other mothers did that have gone through this to heal. We are healing as a family, and I’m digging deep into scripture and sermons, and we will heal together but any advice I would take.
Awe I’m so sorry!! Hugs
Therapy would greatly help the grieving process especially with something so tragic like this.
So sorry for your loss. It seems that you are doing exactly what is right for you. Everyone will deal with it in their own way. Be patient with the process. It will take time. Maybe talk to other women that have been through it in a support group? My thoughts are with you. Hang in there mama
Find a support group. It helps to talk to someone that knows what you’re going through.
I’ve never gone through this so I don’t have any personal experience, however I’m sure therapy for the whole family would really help. Just wanted to say that as hard as it may be keep reading your Bible and relying on God. My friend who lost her baby just put up a thing that said how amazing it is that the first person the he sees when he opened his eyes was God. I thought what a comfort to know what. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers though.
Tell her to send me a friend request. I am going through the same thing. I have an album on my fb with sayings I have fount and it really is helping me cope. The 29th will be a mth that I lost my lil boy at 31.5 weeks. I would like to share these with her and hopefully we both can heal
I haven’t went through this but I have a friend who has. She lost a baby at 39 weeks. Prior to this happening she noticed the baby stop moving or moving less. They didn’t want to give her an ultrasound. Just assured her all was fine and when you get that far along you may not feel movement as much.
Anyway the baby passed and she pursued a career in nursing to help others, she stayed very busy.
Prayers for you
Listen to God has a rocking chair by the Greens Your baby is with God now I loss a baby when I was 18 and was never able to have any kids after that. God is with you and will heal your heart you will grieve but it is something that will always lay heavy on your heart. I was blessed and God sent me a new born when I was 42 he know one day when I was ready I would have another baby we adopted her and she has been a joy. I am praying for you and your family God bless you grieve as long as you need to.
So so sorry to read this. You will take care of the faith aspect within the family. However you may need both individually and as a family to get bereavement counselling. Also people deal with loss in different ways. Some have found ut helpful to make a little memorial garden, if space allows, if not, perhaps a flower bed, a window box, plant a shrub or tree that will flower/fruit at this time. Make a little shrine in your home, have all the family help with it. This is just a few ideas that have helped others. Is there an organisation for still birth attached to the hospiral or in your area. I pray ye will find comfort.
I’m so sorry that you are going through this and know exactly what you are going through. I delivered in March this year at 37 weeks a still birth. I kept the nursery up for as long as I needed to, because it made me feel like we were still waiting for him. We all grieve in different ways and that is just one of the things that helped me along with a great support system.
I have not experienced this myself, but I will say from the families I’ve known that have, one of the most important things you can do is respect each other’s individual grieving process, and understand that it will be different from yours and that’s ok. Everyone will need to handle this in their own way.
My mom carried my baby sister full term and she was stillborn . This was in the 70’s . I was almost six and my sister was eight . It was simply devastating! My mom wishes to this day they had gotten counseling back then . She’s 79 and still can’t talk about the baby . She keeps it bottled up inside . I know we all believe we will meet her in heaven one day . God is a very help in trouble . But , time has not necessarily healed the pain . Keep turning to Christ . That’s the best advice I can offer . But know , that hole in your heart will remain until Christ returns . Much love , care and prayers !
I went through this 6 years ago. Not a day goes by I don’t think about my baby boy. My daughter was 8 at the time. What worked for us was talking to each other and having a lot of family time. The pain is always their but you get stronger each day. Hugs to you and your family.
Remember he is with you and he has a plan
oh my I’m so very sorry no words can take that pain away
I too had a still born. I was 7 months pregnant and pushed down a flight of stairs. I was all alone in recovery but it helps to name the child and talk about tgem. Don’t hide your grief. Or their name.
Could you rest in peace if No one talk about you or mentioned your name .
Facebook has it where I cannot even share her memorial page on here.
Make a shadow box with her baby things in it or a memorial site … A find a grave memorial on line. Also… Make sure other siblings…now and future siblings know about her
When my daughter passed away 24 yrs ago I talked Abt her to anyone that would listen yes I cried alot the first few yrs but eventually I got to where I can talk Abt her and not cry. Please don’t let anyone tell you you should get over it you never get over it you just learn to accept it…I’m so sorry y’all had to go through this
I lost my twin girl’s January 2019. I was 5 week’s from my scheduled c-section. We had a home invasion and the intruder left me for dead. Two day’s later I was found. My twin’s died in the life flight. It was and still is the hardest thing my family and I have gone through. Counseling helped emensly for myself, my 10 yr old son and husband. It still hurts everyday. Without the Lord though, I don’t know how we could’ve coped. I am currently 21wks pregnant with another girl and feel guilty sometimes, because I couldn’t save my twin’s. I’m so sorry for yours and your family’s loss. God bless y’all.
April Courvoisier thought of you and maybe you can offer some hope/healing for this family
I have been through it twice. It changes you as a person. Grief comes in waves. You will always love your precious baby.
I am going thru something similar I lost my little girl almost 2 weeks ago I had a placenta abruption and she didn’t make it i was only 7 months and a week im looking to my faith to get me thru this as right now I’m still trying to get the funding to creamate her …I struggled to tell my kids also my daughters r 11 and 9 my oldest completely understands and is grieving hard i don’t think my youngest completely understands but I think we r all gonna go and talk to someone separately and then individually also
I’m so sorry for your loss. I have not experienced a stillborn. I had 2 miscarriages while trying for our 2nd which our other son wanted so badly. He was 8 by the time we had our rainbow baby. I suggest counseling for all of you. Counseling has saved me and helped our son to express his feelings to someone other than us. Sending you lots of hugs.
Sorry for your loss I know God is with you and I two years and years ago like 45 years ago went through the same thing mine wasn’t stillborn my only son lasted 2 1/2 minutes and I kept saying that there was something wrong but the doctor said I’m going to have a big baby well I did eight 12 at no more room left but I survived and I had one prior I just never was able to get my other boy back I had two more girls afterwards so you’re in my prayers
So sorry for your loss. I also had a stillborn little girl at 32 weeks, she was tangled in the umbilical cord. My mom and husband forced me to go to group counciling with others who had stillborn babies. Best thing ever. I felt free to say how I felt and they understood and didn’t judge. I know I will see my sweet baby Skylar again one day. She would be 23yrs today. Hope this helps you. Sending hugs and prayers.
I’m so sorry. I also delivered my only son stubborn at 20 weeks in 2008. It still is hard. This might sound weird but the hospital let me hold him and keep him in a basket with me until morning so I could take my time saying goodbye. I had him cremated along with the clothes the hospital put him in and the hospital blanket they wrapped him in. My mom bought a beautiful heart urn for him and had it engraved. And I had a wake for him that helped me have closure. I have a box with everything I bought him and I look at it now and then. And I talked and talked to friends and family about him. It helped me so much. Some older people had a hard time when me talking about it because they were from the bury the bad and never talk about it era. I just tried to not talk to them about it.
God had other plans for he or she they were meant to be angle I am a great grandmother I lost my grandson he was 2 moths old Mathew today he wood of been thirty As a mother you need to concentrate on what’s in front of you your 6yr old and husband try to keep praying there is so much people can say to take the pain away but it’s up to you God will give you the strength
I also lost my baby due to ectopic pregnancy. I just pray while giving myself the moment to grief. Moving on is a process…it was 11 years ago and my second son is already 8 years old. I became a single mom when he was 1 and life became better. Focus on what you have, and your baby angel will always look after you.
Trust God’s plan.
I’m so sorry for your loss. There are 5 stages of grief. You will all process and go through the stages in a different way at different times. It’s okay not to be okay. That would be my advice.
I had a miscarriage a 6 weeks so I cannot relate. Yes, this baby was real to me and I grieved, but I had not felt this baby kick yet. I am so sorry for your loss. Did you have things prepared for this baby yet? Maybe keeping an item to hold onto will help. Use one item to make an ornament for the Christmas tree if you celebrate Christmas. There are so many ways you can help with the healing process.
Almost 8 years ago I had a stillborn son after a 40 week perfect pregnancy.
I don’t remember much of the year after that, specially the first months I lived on auto pilot.
It took me years to get over the guilt I felt for hurting/ disappointing the people around me, who were also looking forward to his arrival. I know now this was never my fault. My advice is, take your time to grieve and let no one ever tell you that you should be over it. Coz you will never get over it, it just gonna hurt a little less each year. But still around his birthday I take time off, to be alone with my tears and I usually do something that I would have done with him for his day. Like going to the zoo or something. It’s a bit different if you have more family members already, but give each and every one of yourlsef time to grieve and please keep talking about the baby. It’s part of your family.
I wish you ( and everyone else in this situation) lots of strength, love and hope.
Day by day… I just had my daughter’s angelversary on the 21st. My deepest condolences. There is nothing that will take that pain away… But one day, when you feel like you’re able to breath again, live and love life for your angel… They are watching over us and want us to live a happy and loved life:heart:
My son passed when he was 13 months old. At first I had a feeling of being smothered by the grief. I felt disconnected from everybody. Someone advised to only focus on surviving the next minute, next hour and current day. I learned that there’s no way around the pain, you have to go through it. As the days I have survived started accumulating, I realised that life might go on. It’s been 15 years, and if I could go back to change that day, of course I would, but it’s not in my hands. My son’s legacy will always be evident in my growth and in the person I’ve become as a result of living through the experience. Forever greatful for the love and lessons.
I would recommend everyone talking to a professional. My husband and I went through it in 2018 and it tore us apart especially being our first child. Talking to someone helped us understand our feelings a little better but most importantly explained how each person will handle it differently and how to help each other. It’s been 2 years and we’ve had our rainbow baby since, but we still have really hard days.
I have no words of wisdom on the subject. I just wanted to stop and extend love to the woman who posted this and all the brave loving women sharing their stories and what helped their families.
We lost our first baby boy at 35 weeks as well in 2017. I personally am still pissed off cuz his autopsy came back inconclusive so we have no clue what happened. It will be constant thinking of them at first, then the emotions just come in random waves after a while and it will feel like it was just yesterday, I swear I see him sometimes. I have anxiety and probably depression cuz of it. My advice is talk about it as much as you can, we had another son almost exactly a year later, we talk about his brother to him all the time and we still say we have 2 kids not just 1 cuz he is our son and we have him be remembered everyday. Time has helped a little but i don’t think you can ever fully heal from losing a child like that cuz they are a piece of you. Grief has its own clock and everyone grieves differently.
When we lost our daughter (22+5 weeks) my hospital had PALS groups they offered. Basically just moms and dads who have been through the same. Kinda like AA meetings for grieving parents. They helped me so much. I stopped going to meetings eventually but still keep in touch with the mommas I met. Just having other people who understand and make your feelings feel validated helps so much, for me at least.
Love & hugs to you and your family.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
My son Maverick would have been turning 1 this October, he was born sleeping at 41 weeks. I have a 10yo, 8yo and a 5yo that we had to explain it to. It’s definitely hard, my youngest doesn’t understand and keeps asking when his brother will come home from heaven. I truly don’t think there’s ever a way to fully “heal” from this, you kind of just have to learn how to cope. Your sweet angel will always be apart of your life. I found ways of helping my family was to include our son in everything we possibly can, he’s still included in our family photos, in Mother’s Day/Father’s Day gifts, Christmas gifts, talks with our family, and we talk to our kids about him daily. At first it was extremely hard, it was like saying his name just brought so many tears and emotions but after a few months I realized that I am lucky that I still am able to include him, and now everytime we do something involving him I can’t help but smile. Including him had really helped me in getting through my days.
I’m sooo sorry for your loss. I lost a son by my late husband and i have thought about that since i’ll never have another by him. He would have been his only son. I found that talking about it with our daughters , staying in prayer , reading my bible , talking about how he probably would have been like his father and remembering the good times have helped. Take things one day at a time and talk to family or friends to keep you lifted up. May God bless you and grant you peace. pray
I went to therapy for grief counselling. I was supposed to have trauma counselling but was already pregnant again. Just remember it’s ok to not be okay. You’re going to have rough days and it’s okay to have those feelings. I have my rainbow baby and still cry for the one I’ve lost.
Grief is grief. Give yourself time. Life will never be quite the same as it was but that doesn’t mean life won’t be joyful again. The loss will always be with you but eventually you will have peace.
Never feel like you’re at fault. This misfortune could be natures way or Gods way to prevent a more serious problem later on. Talk to your family openly about it and seek professional help if needed.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’ve had three miscarriages, and the last one I held my tiny child in my hand. I don’t have any words that could possibly comfort you, the pain eases with time but you never forget. All I could do was survive one minute at a time until those minutes turned into hours and then days. I highly recommend speaking to a counselor to get tools to help you grieve, maybe even take medication to help you through. I’ve had a small memorial item made for each child I lost, and having those tokens really has helped me feel like they are honored and remembered. Im praying for you and your husband.
Hi i was told I would never have children i ended being pregnant and I went into early labour i then had a vision and was told I was with child and fell with my son isaac and then had a vision again and someone at church had a vision of me holding a girl i fell pregnant with a girl hannah i feel so blessed but with my first child I belive there was a reason I never had that child and its true God does have a plan for us all my God guide you and your family and keep up with the faith I am here if you want to chat xxx
Did you have some sort of memorial? If not, maybe something like that will allow you and your family to say your goodbyes. Im very sorry for your loss. Many prayers for you and your family. May you be blessed with your rainbow soon!
I am so sorry for your loss. I have no advice as I have never had that heartbreaking experience. I just wanted to pray for you & your family.
God bless you, praying for you and your family. This happened to my sister a few years ago. She had two sons around 6 and 7 years old at the time so I know how devastating this is for all of you. We started a tradition as a family the year it happened where we all get together and stay at a cabin near by. We all pitch in for the cost of the cabin, food etc… I know it helped my sister to be surrounded by everyone who loves them and we were all able to grieve together. It was easier for the kids to be around their cousins as a bit of a distraction too. As years passed it has become more of a celebration of her life and we look forward to it every year. We call it Tilly Day in honor of my niece that passed Matilda Evangeline Continue to lean on the Lord and let your son know it’s good to talk about her. Praying you find something that works for your family as well
I also helped to get a bear, I know it sounds kind of silly but we coordinated that bear into our pregnancy announcement and it made it easier to cope as well. He/she exsisted, remember that always.
I won’t pretend to know what u are going thru or offer anything words of wisdom. I just wanted to stop by and say how truly awful this is and that I know God will give u peace eventually I am so very sorry for ur loss
My last pregnancy was a second set of twins. Baby b passed at 19 weeks. I delivered both of them at 35.
Its rough. It not wrong to seek a therapist even on a temporary basis…even talking to your pastor/ see if there is a support group at your church.
He will be a year and a half in october and his first birthday was rough for me. (More then his birth.) On realizing he wont have his sister to grow up with…
This may sound a little crude but hun you just lost your baby you need to focus in yourself your family will heal in there own time as will you but right now you need to focus in your healing not there’s
I had a stillborn baby boy. Gabe would be 15 now. Counseling helped but still, that first year was so rough. Hugs to you.
Oh honey, I am so sorry for your loss. This one is tough, I know. I lost a much wanted baby at 5 months and many wanted to call it a miscarriage but it was not. My baby died in utero and I still had to deliver her. That was the hardest thing I have ever faced. Yes, I have a strong walk with God and I know He walked with me through this tough trial as He will for you. The one thing that helped me the most is when God showed me thT He knew the beginning from the end and saw what my childs life would be and that her choices would lead her through a very rough life and he chose to save her and us from that heartache. I will write more soon. If you would rather talk privately you can pm me and maybe we can physically talk. I will be praying for you.
Sorry for your loss. I’ve never lost a child so I can’t give any advice but you will be in my prayers.
The way u heal is self care
It might sound selfish…but it’s not
Do what u used to enjoy, nee hobby lots of self indulgence and get a kitten
Art therapy…literally just paint how u feel
Having a rainbow baby
Keep crying to our Lord he can heal…going through the pain and also crocheting to distract from pain helps
I’m very sorry for ur loss. I font know this loss personally. I did have a miscarriage. Is there warning signs prior to having stillborn. How does this happen. I feel part of healing is understanding the process.
Enjoy the lil moment when u can live in the moment.
We planted a small flower garden a sign made that says Alli"s flowers it’s a nice quiet place to sit and meditate
It took time for me, lots of time. It hurts so bad and I became lost for about 6months but I had a good support system and lemme tell ya that goes along way.
I had a stillborn daughter in 2015. The only way to heal it to take it one day at a time. Prayers for you
Being a Christian will bring you some peace. But you definitely have to feel it. Talk about it. Talk about the baby. About what milestones may be going on. My niece birthed a perfect 9 pound girl stillborn. The umbilical cord got compressed between her pelvic bone and the baby’s head. There was nothing anyone could have done. Unfortunately my niece has never really seemed to deal with. Her husband and other children did. We talk about her. Recognize her Birthday etc. I will pray for your family. The Lord is there even in the storm.
So sorry for your loss. My twin granddaughters were born last week. Our baby girl Honor was stillborn.
I’m so sorry you and your family are enduring this painful time. I too had a baby born still, she would be 9 this year, the pain of her not being here is still with us, it’s a pain that you will never get over just becomes a little more bearable every day that goes by. We joined a group called MEND (Mothers Enduring Neonatal Death) it’s been so helpful to talk to other moms that have gone through this unspeakable ordeal, we share photos talk about our feelings vent and seek guidance through our grief. Just take it moment by moment hour by hour day by day. Cry all you want and love on your sweet boy. Counseling is going to help get out a lot of the thoughts you can’t really formulate and help your and your family heal.
There is a book called, “Something Happened “ that y’all can read to your child to help explain. My prayers are with you and your family. If you’re interested in MEND send me a private message.
12 years ago, We had our daughter at 37 weeks and she unexpectedly passed away in our arms about 10 hours later. I know exactly how you feel right now. You will get through this and you will never forget this sweet baby. But the hole in your heart will slowly heal. It won’t ever go away completely, but you will be able to live again. Right now I know it feels like you’ll never get past it all. The first 12-18 months it’s normal to still be grieving. Talk about it, don’t shut off. Get a shower even when you don’t feel like it. Eat even when you don’t feel like it. Make yourself be around people and talk, talk, talk. I told our story countless times and each time it got easier. Now I can preach our testimony of healing from a pulpit, and 9/10 times keep it together. God will weave a beautiful story of healing if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other and lean into Him. Oh and people say stupid things… stuff that normally wouldn’t bother you, will… that’s ok. Let yourself go through the emotions. God will carry you through, even on the days when you feel so alone. Hugs sweet momma!!! I’ve been there and I promise it does get easier over time.
I would recommend grief counseling and time
I also had a still born my Dr. Was out of town the Dr. On call made me carry my child until I went into labor one week later my child was dead inside me for one whole week I totally lost it, and it never stops hurting
Sorry for your loss, prayers for you all &v the brokenness you’re feeling. May God cover you with his grace, bless you with peace.
Hi momma I want to send you love and virtual hugs. It will never go away completely, the ache that is but it will slowly get bearable. God doesn’t let our heart remember the dark more than the light. I believe all baby’s souls come with purpose that only our Savior can understand. I try to remember the moments I had carrying my baby and that I will forever be blessed with the gift of being their mommy. Try to focus on your son on the hard days. He needs that too. Lastly get out of the house everyday (this is important) and do something in your baby’s name. Take a picture, buy a strangers lunch, just sit and pray, count the stars…but do it in their name. They will live on in your heart. I will be praying for guidance and healing for your family. This will take time, and that’s ok
So sorry for your loss. Counseling for everyone, please. It will help!!
Be gentle with yourself and take all the time you need to heal. Sending condolences and lots of hugs
Time and sharing the happiness. Continue to Nurture children with you. God’s most precious gift.
Sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.
“Keep Your Faith In God”!!!
I’m so sorry for your loss.
There are some amazing support groups on facebook for stillbirths, infant loss, etc and they become like family. Prayers:pray:
I am so sorry for your loss.
Cortney Rae Kallevig maybe you can give this momma some advice?
I had my still born what will be 10 years ago on Aug 25 exactly 4 wks to my due date. It’s hard and always will be. Everybody heals differently in their own time. I went to scripture like you and prayed what felt like a thousand times a day about my turmoil and grief ( I still do ). There isn’t a time when when I’m counting heads and thinking I’m missing one. I consider myself lucky but I also believe God does this for all his children if we open our hearts and minds to him all the time and not just what we go through. Has I said what will be Aug 26th for ten years I woke up feeling a little different but not sure why. I noticed when I had my cup of coffee that my little one didn’t kick or move around like she always did. I thought about it some more and realized I had little movement the day before. I called my doctor office and of course I had to come in. I wasn’t worried or afraid I’ve always been that person that leaned and trust in God for everything. I hung up the phone called my mom and she came to get me. While I was waiting for her I had the strongest urge to open up my bible. I asked God for direction and it opened up to the 23rd Psalm. I didn’t understand why that chapter but I prayed over it and found peace. About an hour and a half later I found out my child was dead. I cried and begged and pleaded for them to take her out right then to save her. Of course they didn’t my doctor actually didn’t show up until 12 hours later to talk to me. They gave me something to calm down and help me to feel happy that is drug no one should ever get. After I had her through C section they brought her to me. Honestly it was like miracle I saw her has a perfect baby. Rosie cheeks, beautiful long dark eye lashes, her toes and fingers were perfect. She looked just like an angel. No one else saw what I did in reality she was black and blue, with blood coming out of her eyes and ears. I believe God allowed me to see her as he does. A beautiful angel to be at his kingdom. I remember the doctor asking me what i wanted to do with her body. I asked him what he meant he mentioned donating her body for science. I made him go into full detail what would happen to her and where her body would end up. I decided for myself that I didn’t want her cut into tiny pieces only to be discarded in a trash bag to end up in a dump one day. A few weeks later after her death I remembered I dream I had. In the dream I was at my mom house and the clouds and sky looked different. The news had the weather channel on all the time trying to explain a new phenomenon. The sky was like a black color and in between it there was red cracks all over the place. Next thing I knew it started raining fire down out of the sky. I remember people going crazy and running I had to my two kids with me but remembered I should have my baby too. My mom told me that baby died and that I had to run with my kids. I remember feeling turmoil and loss. I took my kids by the hand and ran down a ditch only to realize I had lost one while going down. I turned to go back through the fire for my child and all went black. My dream than switched to waking up and walking the earth with what looked like billions of people walking the same way. The ground was not green, the trees were a charcoal color everything resembled black and white. None of that seemed to matter people just kept until we reached a light light that had God on the throne surrounded by beauty that one can’t even explain. Even though billions of people were there it was like God literally sat in front of each person. It was truly glorious. God started talking and no sense time was there. Everybody stood still no coughs, no laughs, no talking, no sneezing, not even a muscle moved among the billions of adults and children there. God than called for his lambs to be on the right and the goats on his left. At this point children were trying to get away from their parents but the parents said no we belong here. Than God spoke in a loud voice like a boom, " Give your children to those on the right and your children shall live forever in peace in my kingdom with great love." People started crying and not wanting to let go. It was truly the worst sounds I heard in my life. The children than went in a flash to the right. Than a child was put in my arms and the child felt familiar, the child felt like I always knew her, and loved her all my life. I remember the biggest smile from God and a look of being a father.
I told that dream not bc I believe I will go to heaven but a promise that I know God gives all his children. If we walk in the right path and follow him than we will be reunited with all our loved ones that died far to young. I believe that is what helps to this day to make life a better choice instead of a roller coaster that goes down hill. Knowing that God promises my child to come back to my arms one glorious day has long has I walk by him and him only.
My heart goes out to you.
But God is the right path. Wishing you and your family comfort during this time
Morning everyone, we are raising awareness around the need for consist, affordable and accessible support for ALL woman in the first 40 days after pregnancy, birth, miscarriage, still birth and child loss. We know that these days are instrumental in ensuring wellness and cultivating positive mind, body and soul wellness for that woman, and her family and community. The relationships build and nurtured in the first 40 days shape the next 40 years. As part of this initiative we are inviting woman to join this summit and hear from others who recognise their amazing contribution at all stages of their lives. We see you, we value you, we support you. Please feel free to share🌹
Wait a while and go for a rainbow baby that’s what my daughter did
I had a still birth 2 weeks be my due date. I was young and it was hard. The bad thing was I couldn’t get pregnant again so that really stunk. I did everything possible to have a baby so here I am today with no children and it makes me sad. I am sorry for your loss!
I’m sorry for your loss
I experienced a stillbirth also. I was 22 weeks along. It was traumatic, to say the least. This happened 5 years ago but I can still hear my husband screaming and crying when we found out. Terrible stuff. Our daughter was only a year and half when this happened so that was a relief. She’s 6 now and I can’t imagine her hurting too. It was hard on us, obviously. Family wasn’t as supportive as we thought they’d be. Unnecessary and insensitive comments were made and my husband didn’t really want to talk about it. I felt alone and it was miserable. What was very helpful and gave us light during that dark time was meals. A dear friend organized Meals on Wheels for us and man! People (said friend’s church memebers and close friends) that never laid eyes on us came to pray with us and gave delicious meals, for over a month. Looking back, I think a lot of family didn’t really know how to approach us and felt uncomfortable. But I wanted to be in good company. I needed to laughter and distraction. We’d pray and feast and it was delightful. It kept things light and made everything feel easier.
I know everyone is different. I know everyone processes loss differently. Take it one day at a time. Don’t be ashamed to really feel what you’re feeling. Express yourself. Journal, talk to internet strangers about it on Baby Center or The Bump, go for long walks, cry, scream and shout. Whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better. Counseling/therapy may also be very helpful.
Lastly, remember: no storm lasts forever. You will get through this. It hurts now and it may hurt five years from now, too. But I promise it does get easier. Every year, on the anniversary of our daughter’s birth, we take out her memory box the hospital gave us and hold her urn. Last year was hard for me. This year, it brought me comfort and peace.
Prayers, love and light to you mama
I lost my daughter 9 years ago on her birthdays we would celebrate let of balloons light candles for her. You need to do what is right for your family eventually it will just take alot of time and as people have said one day at a time, and talk always talk bout your feelings with someone you feel most comfortable with. Very sorry for your loss and sending virtual hugs to you and your family.
I’m so sorry momma, I had a stillborn baby girl at 41 weeks 18 years ago and it was so hard to carry on, but I did for my 2 year old and somehow we all got through. I went on to have 4 more children. The pain eases a little over time but the hole in your heart will remain. We remember her and celebrate on her birthday as a family. Big hugs to you, take it a day at a time - your boy will help keep you going xxx
Join the pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and sufficient grace groups here on Facebook. Contact your local children’s hospital for support group info.
Truly sorry…my heart knows your sorrow. Get together as a family write a message on a ballon each and set it free.
God love you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss church, family, and group counseling. Please talk and listen with others in your position. God Bless you and give you peace
There are so many help programs. contact your church, your hospital Dealing with grief after the death of your baby
You ask God for strength ti heal your hearts and knowing your babys in heaven should bring you a little comfort God bless you and your family in Jesus’s name Amen:100:
Alissa Infanti thought maybe you would have some great insight on strength and faith in this scenario
So Sorry Hugs and Prayers for You and Family
Sorry for your lost. Praying and counseling
Sending & asking for healing prayers
I’m praying for you and your family
So sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss . I pray God gives you the strength to cope again I’m so sorry
Samantha Zyduck do you have some advise you could share
I had a still born at 30 weeks. my oldest who was 15 really felt the loss more. my son who was 4 at the time got his jaxson bear, this bear goes everywhere with us. he askes us if he can go to heaven and jaxson home, that is hard. but we remind him that he is an angel watching over us. that seems to help
I too had a still born at 30wks- the day before my sons 1st bday. Looking back there was/is nothing I can tell you to help it be easier. What I wish I would have done was allowed myself to grieve and not focus everything I had on my living son but took some time with a therapist for me. Hugs momma- I am here if you need an ear (hugs)
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve had losses and am now and birth and bereavement doula for other families facing the same heartbreak.
Everyone grieves differently and needs to be able to express it. There are books that would be great for your son to read and he may want to draw pictures or talk about his baby sibling. Communication is so important. Being heard and hearing from each other how you’re feeling, what you need, all those things are so important.
13 years ago I had my first baby girl full-term stillborn. My son was 3 at the time. A few weeks after I had her I got anonymous card in the mail very thoughtful words but what stuck with me is “say her name, there is healing in it” this has been true for me and now I can talk about Isabelle without crying (although I still do sometimes) and sometimes with joy remembering the brief time I had with her and how it brought me so much joy to carry her. She has 2 younger siblings now and we all celebrate her heavenly birthday every year. Keep leaning into God he will guide you
I can’t say you ever forget. Nothing makes the pain go away, you just learn to keep going. I’m 17 years on from the death of my baby boy. I still wish I was watching him grow with his siblings. Its the hardest thing to feel a piece of you is missing. But you still have to be a mum and take strength that God thought your child perfect enough to not have to endure the trials of this earth. You are a mother of a perfect soul who just needed a mortal body. As hard as it is to see you have been blessed immensely with such a privilege. Stay strong see the good.