*Trigger warning* I just found out today my baby has no heartbeat: Advice?

I found out today at ten weeks that there is no heartbeat, and the baby didn’t grow up since last week. I’m heartbroken. I cry I stop; I watch tv, do housework, I say I will be strong because I have a four-year-old and then I cry. It’s like I want to make the D&C asap so I could heal. We were planning to go next week to visit my sibling, and I still want to go, maybe it will help. Is it weird? Is it weird that I’m confused? No one knew about my pregnancy, and I don’t want to tell anyone about this. I don’t want to make my family sad. Talking with my mom will help, but she’s in another country, and sensitive, I hate to make her sad. My husband is crying more than me. I don’t know how I should feel.


It doesn’t matter if you have told anyone or how many weeks. You have lost your child and you need time to grieve that loss.


All of those feelings are normal and it’s okay to tell your family. They can be your support group.


It is very sad but if talking to someone would help, then talk to them. I understand not wanting to make your mom sad but moms are there to help you through the hard times. Call her.


I’m so sorry to hear. My thoughts are with you and your husband

Honestly anyway you need to feel is exactly how you should feel…of course you feel confused amidst all that 2020 has thrown at you as a human being you have lost a life an regardless if telling or not it is yours and your husband’s grief to work out and through not theirs but please take it from another mother who has grown children your mother will keep your secret she will help validate how you feel n gently urge your healing …being sàd is a part of life but feeling like you weren’t good enough to be considered helpful and comforting is heartbreaking the choice of course us still yours to make I wish you love light and recovery for you and your family and if the Dr says you can go by all means do visit family and let them love you .

They should have done that when they saw no heartbeat. That’s just wrong to put you thrue. I am so sorry. Praying for you. Happen to me three times. I understand your heart ache. So sorry

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You go to your siblings and tell them grieve your heart. :pray::hugs:

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U need to talk to someone

Feel your feelings honey and let your friends be there for you god be with you

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Talk to someone and let your feelings come out. But most importantly talk about your baby… take all the time to grieve. There are alot of miscarriage/grieving groups on Facebook and Instagram… it’s a long process. I’m sorry for your loss. If you need someone to talk I’m here .

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Get it done and over with asap so you can move on

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I’m very, very sorry for your loss. Handle it however makes you feel best.

It takes time. It will get easier but the pain will always be there. A few months after my miscarriage I was blessed with twins. Take your time and grieve let it out don’t hold it in.

Ok so I was told mine didn’t have a heartbeat and I was devastated. I couldn’t afford a D&C so I went to Planned Parenthood and when they got me back in a room, they found a heartbeat. Please get a second opinion, I’m glad I did.


You can give your body time to try to pass it naturally rather than having an invasive procedure. The wait is hard tho, I carried mine for 2 weeks after he (in my mind it was a boy) passed.

Man it’s awful going through this I was about the same gestation when I lost my baby too just a horrible feeling so many emotions happening at once !! I really prayer for her :heart::pray:

That happened to me. Its normal. It will get better. Its been 13 yrs for me and i rarely think about it. I had a DNC. Couldnt find a heart beat on a fetal monitor or an ultra sound

I just went through this at 10 weeks, we had booked a trip to my fiancées hometown prior to my miscarriage and it was a week before my sons birthday along with Mother’s Day :purple_heart: I opted to try the pills instead of D&C (mistake IMO) and tried to push through with my sons party I had planned (thinking back I shouldn’t have I was a mess) I was concerned about going out of town but was very glad I went it was so nice to be around family. I didn’t tell anyone about the pregnancy and still they didn’t know after the loss, but being around them helped me. I feel like I was confused for awhile with how i felt and if it was “right” i felt bad for feeling so emotional and honestly just sad. I found myself literally just shutting a door and breaking down, sometimes I was mad and thought it may have been me, and sometimes it hurt so deep that I felt like it was going to break me. It was a rollercoaster girl, but I came to the conclusion that there’s isn’t a “right” way to grieve and I handled it the way I needed to. Hugs to you and I’m so very sorry for your loss. :purple_heart:

Get it done so you can heal

I’m so sorry for your loss.


I have been there . It is normal to have emotions all over the place . I found it helpful to talk about it and I started a memory box with little trinkets . I light a candle on the day I found out about the loss.

I found a D&C was good for me because I didn’t want to be out somewhere when it happened .
Message me if you would like to talk .

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I’ve been through that. Everything you are feeling is normal. Grieving for your baby is normal. It’s ok to want to go visit your sibling and to go and enjoy your visit even if you have moments you cry and are very sad. I have had a d&c and I have also waited it out and let my body do what it needed to do. Just do what’s best for you mentally. hugs

I am sorry but you need to talk to someone to help you thru the grieving process and so does your husband.

I relate to your heartache and pain. I miscarried about 1.5 years ago and it was one of the worth days of my life. I haven’t healed from it, and I believe it is because I don’t talk about it.
My best advice is to call your mom, sibling, best friend, whoever you feel comfortable with talking to. It will help, even if it’s just a little bit.

Honey so sorry for your loss! There is no right or wrong way to feel! Do and feel whatever you need to to heal! Praying for you!

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I lost a baby at 12 weeks. Take the time to mourn. Have another sonogram, it helped me to move on. But give yourself a break. You lost a baby and a piece of you. You deserve this time to grieve. We made mistake of telling people but I have to say my family and friends got us through. My rainbow baby is a beautiful girl who I cannot imagine life without and be assured that life will move on and you will heal, this baby will always be a part of you but you WILL HEAL​:two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

Sending you BIG HUGS .

im so sorry for your loss.i lost a daughter to a miscarriage so i know how the loss feels

I had a missed miscarriage around the same time. I scheduled the D&C ASAP. I could have taken the pill or waited for nature to take it course but I got the D&C done as soon as we realized it wasn’t a viable pregnancy. I took a few months off and they we got pregnant on our first cycle trying. Nobody can tell you the right or wrong way to mourn your loss. It’s ok to be sad or its ok to not be. I accepted that it wasn’t meant to be and moved on fairly quickly but I gave myself time to mourn at the same time. Some women have many miscarriages and each one is a very hard thing for them. Neither is wrong or right.

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I’m so sorry for your loss. But reaching out and taking to your loved ones will help you get through this tragic time. I’m so sorry.

So sorry. May God give you strength to endure.

I’m so sorry! HUGS!! Please reach out to someone! If not family then maybe a counselor that can help you! Prayers for healing to you and your husband!

I’ve experienced that dear. It’s a hurt that goes down to the core. Find someone to talk to, or find someone to hold you and just let go, cry. Can even text me…

The first thing you have to do is take care of yourself. Don’t keep it bottled up, especially with those that love you! Yes they may be sad, but i think they would be much sadder to think you didn’t feel confident letting them be there for you!

My daughter found out at 6 months her baby had a heartbeat but the inner sac of fluid had burst so it had quit growing! Her husband was in the military and insurance would not pay for a DNC so she had to go to an abortion clinic because her life was at risk the longer she carried it!

Completely normal to not feel normal, lost, confused, sad, angry…everything. I would hope if my daughter were in this situation, she would call me. I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. Nobody knew I was pregnant until I miscarried. I had to tell the ladies I was working with because I worked throughout it. They were amazing support.
Hugs to everyone who has the experience of miscarriage

I’m so sorry for your loss… Prayers to you for strength and comfort

There is no specific way to feel, you are you and you feel the way you feel. Don’t worry about how it looks to anyone else. You can grieve your way. It’s one of the hardest things you can go through. Praying you will find peace and solace

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Feeling sad and heartbroken is absolutely okay. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But you’re strong and capable and you’ll get through this.
Take time to grieve, lean on your husband and let him lean on you. Be there for each other. Talk about how you’re feeling.
I’ll pray for you and your family :heart:

I lost a baby at 22 weeks. It is so difficult to go through losing a baby, no matter how far along you are. Grieve in the way you think is best! It’s okay to feel the way you feel. Sending y’all hugs. I’m so sorry for your loss. :heart:

Take it a day at a time love don’t do anything until you have done your grieving so sorry xx

I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this.

It’s normal to grieve! I had the same thing happen. I also wanted a Dnc asap but thre doctor wanted my body to do it naturally I had to wait weeks. It was the worst thing I’ve gone through. But it will get easier.

I cried every day for 6 months. Kept blaming myself. My boyfriend cried just as much as me. It doesn’t go away u just learn how to deal with it

Feel whatever it is you are feeling …it is ok to be confused…and have so many mixed emotions… i am so sorry for your loss…i lost my twins 20 years ago the same way…i was 13 weeks pregnant . I hope God comforts you and if you need anyone to talk to I will be a message away…

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Oh, this is so difficult! Weve been there. Do what you think will help you heal and make you feel better. It comes in waves.
I definateky was able to start to heal after the D and C as I was no longer carrying hin/her around. My thoughts are with you

Talk to a grief councillor -you need one❤️

Hun its natural to grieve the baby. Just know you will most likely have others . It wont tske the place of this one, but nature does this stuff for a reason

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Everything you are feeling is absolutely normal. I went thru this 2yrs ago at 8weeks and I can honestly say I still have moments. Take the time you need to slowly start to heal yourself, it does get easier but will never go away completely.

I refused d&c on may 30th. 8 weeks pregnant. On June 16th I had a positive pregnancy test after my HCG levels went all the way down with the 1st one. My son is 12 yrs old now.

It is good to grieve, but tell someone you’re close to about it, and your boss or co-workers if you’re working, so they can understand if grief hits you at an inopportune time. You need a support system, so telling people youre close to, will help.


Girl you feel sad and cry til you feel better so very sorry for your loss :heartpulse:

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Its devastating I am so sorry prayers. God has a plan is all I can say

They is no “should” here and you will probably feel it all at different times. That is grief. My heart hurts for you. And I wish you all the best.

Had a 4 month tubal pregnancy and did grieve

Same thing happened to my little sister but she was quite a bit further along… It very rough on her she couldn’t look at any kids for weeks without bawling … let yourself grieve, you don’t have to stay strong for anyone elses comfort.

Sweetheart i lost a baby in 2011 i didnt talk to anyone about it…not even my partner…i acted ‘normal’ like you did n it destroyed me…destroyed me to the point i turned to drugs to feel ‘normal’ again! So my advice is talk! Its ok to feel confused and to not want to burdon others with your sadness but for your own mental health u need to talk!

I’m so sorry, I actually know exactly how you feel, but I was at 13 weeks, his heart had stopped beating 3 weeks prior, had to have a d&c, that was my very 1st pregnancy. It’s scary, it’s heartbreaking, just breathe mama. Mine would be 13 years old this September. No matter how you grieve, is normal. Sending love.

Let yourself feel all the things you are feeling. Allow the sadness and pain to flow thru you. If you bottle it up you will never heal. Take time to mourn your baby. I made small crafts to honor my unborn child and put them in a safe place where I could see them. Noone knew I was pregnant when I had a miscarriage but talking about it with my mom helped alot. And you will find there are alot of women and couples who have similar experiences when you open up about it.

you are allowed to feel however and whatever you feel. Everyone person is different and reacts different. Im sorry for your loss, give yourself time to let the feelings and emotions out. take care of yourself and your 4 yr old and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come out; praying for strength for you and your family.

Trigger Warning With A Happier Ending.

I had my first miscarriage in 2017, my baby didn’t have a heart beat either. I wouldn’t stop bleeding for weeks. As soon as I was told that I would miscarry, I started doing everything I could to induce the miscarriage. I drank teas, wine, walked up and down stairs, went in and out of a fresh hot bath tub every hour or so helped with the cramping. Thank god I was wearing a pregnancy diaper, my womb/fetus came out unexpected when I was talking to my exfiances brother in the kitchen. I definitely would recommend wearing one until you pass it. The labor pains and emotional was worse than the actual passing of the womb, it happened very quickly.

3 years later I am 9 weeks pregnant and they found a heartbeat. This will be my rainbow baby and there is hope for you to have one too.

It will take about 2/3 months after your body to stop acting pregnant even when you’ve passed the womb. So all emotions are normal. Please be extra kind and patient to yourself. Just take it easy until your body heals.

I’m so sorry for your loss, you are not alone.

I lost 2 different babies at 9 weeks. Everything was healthy at first then at 9 weeks no heartbeat both times. You are allowed to feel how every you want. It was still a baby. Just be there for your husband and let him be there for you. You will get through it.

Miscarriage is heartbreaking- period! It’s a loss of life and its not nearly talked about enough! I would encourage you to speak with your mother bc she will understand your heartache and comfort you like noone else can ! Allow yourself to grieve ! I wouldn’t put off the D&C too long bc it can be harmful to you ( speaking from experience) ! Visiting your sister will probably be good for your soul also! Praying for you and your family during this difficult time!


Grieve however you need to grieve. I still grieve 10 years later for what could have been.

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Mental health is important. I’m so sorry this happened. There is no real answer as to how you “should” feel because everyone feels different. If you don’t want to speak to family, ask your doctor for some counseling support. Stay strong :heart:

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I know that feeling all too well…

After experiencing 3miscarriages in a span of 2years, I learned to self encourage and speak hope into my future!

Today I am blessed with 2precious little gifts from God and I am thankful to have experienced those miscarriages because I can type here sympathising with you and tell you thank God remains faithful even when we think He has failed us…

Choose to push through your current emotions. They can get overwhelming but you will heal and if it is your hearts desire, you and hubby will conceive again! A miscarriage is not the final answer!!! :gift_heart::gift_heart::gift_heart:

Be encouraged…

I think anything youre feeling right now is ok. Youre grieving. Ive never had a miscarriage but I sympathize. So sorry for your loss. Sending love your way.

U have to feel ur emotions and grieve b4 you can heal. Do what feels right for you. My thoughts are with you. I have 2 babies in heaven so I feel your pain. Be angry, be sad, just be… it never truly feels better, but it gets easier to cope. Im.sorry hun

Cry scream throw things do what you must to process your grief speaking from experience ( I lost 2 boys and 2 girls) TALK TO SOMEONE. You’ve got every right to feel however you’re feeling but talking those feelings out it’s the one of the most important steps to start healing… and include your husband if at all possible he doesn’t need to bottle his feelings either you’ll never get over it, but it does get better…:heart::heart::heart:

I’ve misscarried at 12 weeks and at 16 weeks. I’m sorry you feel this way. It’s a very hard thing to bear and overcome. Stay strong and hopefully the next will be different.

Your Mother would probably want to be there for you. You need to feel for this baby.cry when you need to. My baby died, so I know how you feel.!

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I’m truly sorry for your loss. I was 11 weeks when we had our first ultrasound. Baby measured 6 weeks. It was heartbreaking. I got the D & C within 3 days, it helped with the emotional healing process. I had ups and downs until we were able to try again. Good luck! All the emotions are real and normal!

It’s okay to talk about it. You would be surprised how common it is and you may find comfort in other people’s experiences. I did. I had no idea how many of my fitness had gone through it, until I opened up about mine. I was sad for a while, talking about it helped. Have your feelings :two_hearts: you’re entitled to them.

So sorry! It sucks pkain and simple :cry:

Been there…I made sure to get a follow up ultrasound the next week,then scheduled d&c when still no heartbeat or growth. Had d&c day before my first daughter’s first bday party.

God be with you sweetheart. I hope you are able to feel His comforting arms around you.

It’s yours, you feel however you feel. Don’t get hung up on how others think you should feel. I had 2 miscarriages and I wasn’t really too sad, because my honest belief is they weren’t meant to be. But that’s just me. I don’t really tell people that because some people think that sounds heartless. But we each handle it or own way. :heart:. Sorry for your loss.

You should feel exactly how you do, everyone is different. I have been through this and it is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. It was the day before we were gonna tell work, family, and friends… just at three months. I started bleeding and after rushing to hospital… next thing I knew I was kept for a D&C. It all happened so fast and unexpected, that I really was a whirlwind of emotions. We didn’t really tell anyone other than our parents, but I kind of wish i did. You can never have too much love and support. Most important is to take the time and do what you need to do to feel okay. It will get easier. :heart:

I am so sorry u and your husband has to go thru this big hugs i am always here for you anytime me and my husband had a very bad miscarriage 3 years ago May 6th I was pregnant with identical twin girls I was 7 in half months pregnant I still very hurt inside and out

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So sorry. Prayers for you both

You. May want to get the d&c before going out of town to prevent possibly needing surgery while you are there should you start bleeding. Grieve as much as you want, everybody reacts different.

Grief counseling can help you and your husband through this. It’s a uniquely devastating kind of loss, so a professional can benefit you when family may fall short of giving you what you need. Maybe just tell people you lost a baby and give you space to deal, but lean on a counselor and a few close friends for support.

You need to let yourself mourn. This is absolutely normal to feel everything that you are feeling. You have lost a child. It does not matter if anyone knew about it or not. Your baby is real and loved. Do not suppress yourself. Have a special ceremony with whomever you choose to have there to say goodbye. Hugs to you and your family.

I had a miscarriage right before my son turned 1. Be strong for your older child. It’s heart breaking but it wasn’t meant to be. Don’t blame yourself at all. It’s Gods way if saying something wasn’t right.

I’m so sorry for your loss. A lot of women’s health groups have free support groups for pregnancy loss, or you may be able to find a group online. It may help to go and speak with them, since they are experiencing it, as well. But this is a very real loss. You are allowed to feel it, and you should. You need to grieve.

Prayers for you both.

Take time to heal even if you need a night and day to yourself without your 4 Year Old so that you and your husband can grieve openly together.

The same thing happened to me back in 2007 i was going in to my 20 week appt to find out the gender of my baby and they found no heart beat and said there haven’t been no heart beat for 20 days i was a wreak so they set up an emergency dnc and 6 weeks after i was pregnant again with my 12 year old baby girl i have now so i know how your feeling i still think about it and get upset but if that didn’t happen i wouldn’t have the daughter i have know i look at it as God’s will but you have my condolences prayers for you i know the pain your in right now :broken_heart::pensive:

That happened to me too! I am sorry!

Hug your hubby and cry with him

Please tell a close friend or someone you trust. You need support too. There are no rules in how you should feel. You will have mixed emotions. But please tell someone.

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You are in shock your emotions are all over and it’s understandable. I’m so sorry.

I have been where you are now so long ago but have never forgotten you feel numb you blame yourself but it isn’t our faults little ones just wanted no what this stuff is all about then decide sorry mum not this time but don’t worry you will be fine get the d&c go see your sibling talk about cry if you need to it helps then when you feel you have healed maybe try again i did yes you get worried but don’t let it stop you from living

It’s sad that miscarriages are not recognized as deaths. We tend not to talk about it but when we do, we realize that many people have gone through this. You’re not alone! My condolences to you and your husband. Hugs!!!

Talking about it will help. Cry as much as you both need to. Grieve with your husband. Talk about it with him.

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There isnt anyway you should feel girl . Just let your feelings out snd flow through them. You’re allowed to be sad and upset and confused.

I had 2 miscarriages sorry. For ur loss

Feel however the moment leads you and reach out to someone if you need it even if they’re not your family. A baby passing away at any age is a great loss. Saying prayers for all of you.

Cry, watch sappy girl movies, eat whatever makes you happy, stay close with friends and family. You will feel better with time but you will NEVER forget :heart::heart: most of us have been there momma :heart: