Trigger Warning: Miscarriage. Do I have a right to be bitter?

Am I wrong for being bitter? I am having an active miscarriage. If I haven’t fully miscarried by Monday, I will have to have a D&C done due to being in premature labor for a week now. My mother in law is getting ALL of the sympathies. Everyone is telling her, “I’m praying for you & your son.” Like she’s the one still carrying her dead daughter. It makes me so upset that more people are concerned about her than the ones actually going through it. She hasn’t even asked how I am doing. Am I wrong for feeling this way?


You are NOT wrong at all! I’m so sorry.


She is probably grieving too and hurting for her son aswell. I doubt she doesnt care about you but she may not be handling it at all. Have a talk with her maybe

No you are not wrong for feeling this way! I am so sorry you’re going through this.


You have the right to feel what you feel. You have suffered a great loss.

Not Wrong at all. I know how you feel and it sucks. Seriously sucks. But I realized that I dont care about anyone like that and worried about myself

You are in the right 10000% fuck her?!?

No, your grief is valid. Speak up

I am so sorry to hear this. I agree with how you feel x

Youre NOT wrong at all. Im so sorry :sob:

What a bitch.
You’re the mother, you’re the one losing your child, not her.

I know I cant relate but Im sorry me and my ex had 2 and it horiable for both involived cant imagion your hart break

No, not at all! you’re the one who is suffering the most and i’m so sorry you are going through this! some people are just so unsympathetic with the pain of a mother who is losing her baby

Loss comes with so Many emotions and you are completely entitled to all of them. The MIL situation sounds incredibly frustrating. I hope you can confide in and lean on your husband during this time :heart:

Sorry about what’s happening and no your not wrong the feeling never goes away

Your grief and your feelings are valid and they matter. I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts like no words can describe. Praying for you :pray:

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Be bitter,be angry,be sad be whatever the hell gets your thru the day! Praying for peace & comfort for you!


Everyone is grieving. Odd that she hasnt reached out to you personally. Do you have that type of relationship or is she just communicating with her son?

No ma’am you are not. Focus on you and your body and health right now, not your MIL.
Sounds like she’s selfish and unsympathetic…not someone you need right now.
Prayers you’re ok, and prayers for physical and emotional healing.

You’re not wrong. Praying for YOU!!! You have a connection with that little one that no one else has. I miscarried at 13 weeks and it sucked! You’re not alone!

You’re not wrong but there will be time to address this with your husband and mother in law later. Take care of yourself and rest.
Prayers for you

As someone who had a miscarriage…your hormones are waaaay out of wack right now. It doesn’t matter if it is ‘right’ or not, it’s how you feel.

She hurting for her grandkid and kid. She’s more than likely hurting for you too. It’s a horrible situation the whole way around and there is no real right answer because what you might be thinking might not be the case, or what she is thinking might not be the case.

Take solace in you spouse and do what you gotta do for you. I am so sorry you are going through this :pray:


Your feelings are valid. So are hers. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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No youre not wrong at all. Im sorry this is happening to you

I hope ppl think of u and your emotional and physical pain and that they know u will take the longest to heal

Oh sweetie my heart breaks for you. It doesn’t matter even if you were getting all the attention, you have any right to feel anyway. So many hugs and prayers for you.

When I had mine, I had both sides here supporting me and my husband and taking care of us. Everyone sent us flowers and asked how my in-laws and parents were doing. You have every right to feel angry as I would too. Chin up, it will get better. Talk to your husband about how you are feeling.

Not wrong for feeling that way at all.

You are probably seeing more people reach out and say those things to your mil due to generational differences?
Like older people will reach out where as younger people might give you space

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First off. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. What you’re experiencing is not only painful but emotionally devastating. I hope your future pregnancies go smoothly and you are blessed with a healthy child.

Secondly, you are entitled to your emotions. Focus on yourself and just chime in “oh yeah thanks for asking btw but I’m feeling like ______ and _____.” Its weird your MIL is making it about herself because she could easily redirect that attention where it belongs. Next thing u know theyll be sending her edible arrangements for something that’s not happening to her.

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No girl you feel how you want to feel it’s your baby your body and any of this is your fault I know how you feel and you are allowed to feel this way if you need someone to talk you can pm me

You’re not wrong for feeling that way. So sorry you’re going through this :heart::heart:

Sorry you’re going through this! I’ve went through it twice myself. You aren’t wrong for feeling this way!

You all are grieving. Stop reading her fb page. Her friends are supporting her. Just like your friends are supporting you. None of it is bad.


I have lost a baby as well. My hormones and feelings were all over the place. I found a lot of people felt uncomfortable talking about it. They kind of tip toed around it to avoid hurting me more. Hang in there it’s so hard.

you’re not wrong. i’m so sorry this is happening to you. i can’t even imagine. i hope you somehow find the comfort and support you deserve during what’s probably the hardest thing you’ve ever gone through. my heart aches for you, dear.

Stop Now. Don’t take your fustrations out on your poor Mother Law. I Believe in prayers to. But if things don’t turn out the way you want, Its nobodys fault. There is a reason for everything. Some day we will have the answers. Don’t take it out on nobody. I miscarried to, But its nobodys fault. The baby was not ready to face this world yet. Stop feeling sorry for yourself… Be strong


You’re not wrong. I’ve had one early on but still…prayers for you hun

No one asked us how we were doing except my parents and his parents the rest didn’t give a crap when i had a miscarriage then expected me to be “over it” by a month and got told i was overreacting when i got upset about it. Your feelings are valid.

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Definitely not wrong I miscarried my baby girl a few years ago so I know how u feel I’m so sorry …the pain u are feeling will never go away but it will get easier with time

Wow!! I’m so sorry your not getting the support you deserve and need. I’m so sorry for your loss. :v::heart::pray:

No you’re not wrong.

I’m sorry for your loss.
You are not wrong.
Miscarriage brings all sorts of emotions. And all of them are relevant and valid. All of them are part of the process. There are support groups here on FB that are helpful during the mourning period.
Other people are just weird about miscarriage as well. Especially older generations. It’s a taboo subject to them and they dont seem to understand how to act with empathy.
I’d suggeat distancing yourself from anyone who makes you feel bad right now. If they are lacking empathy,you’re going to be more sensitive to it.
Wishing you speedy physical healing and peace to be restored to you <3

You can feel any way you want to hugs and love to you .

Allow yourself any feelings you are having. You need the compassion and comfort now. From experience it is so hard to have to go thru this. Prayers for you and your baby.

Your entitle to feel anyway you want …hugs to you.

I would feel bitter too. I’m so sorry you are going through this. :broken_heart:

You have every right to your feelings.

I had 2 miscarriages. I feel your pain:(

No honey, you’re not wrong. I’m still bitter over the way I was treated too. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Unless you have gone through this, no one seems to get that it isn’t wham and then it’s over. It can be days. You have at least one person here who knows how you feel.

I am so sorry :sob: I am currently having what they are calling a “threatened Miscarriage” I found out last Saturday I was pregnant… my husband and I were sooo, so excited and then a few hours later I started bleeding and had very mild pain, went to er confirmed pregnancy, diagnosed threatened moscarriage and have been to doc, then baby doc to have levels tested a few times. Tomorrow they call me to let me know my levels again and if they have doubled or not depends on what we will do next. Anyways idk, I just feel deeply for you right now. I am only about 5 weeks along and the fact you knew gender and were that far along. Momma. I am so very sorry. My father in law called me thursday as I got in my driveway from the doctor to try and start shit about some damn dog he was wanting us to take and take care of that we have both told him NO about. He didn’t ask how I was or how doctor went, I just hung up on his sorry tale.

Ur not in the wrong. I’m sorry for ur loss

I’m so sorry. Yes you can be bitter and angry but don’t let it stop your grief.

That’s awful!!! No you are not wrong I would feel the same way. Praying for you I can’t imagine going through that.

1- I’m so so sorry mama. This is so truly difficult. Absolutely take time to mourns and be heartbroken for your baby if you need to.

2- i would be mad. It’s not about her it’s about you and your baby.

Your not wrong at all. I have lost 6 and they should be making sure your ok as it was your child that you were carrying. Hope you have a good support system mine helped me out tremendously.

Your feelings are not wrong, they are the way you feel. Dont listen to anyone saying anything different.

Anger is an easier emotion to process than grief. I’m so sorry for your loss… all emotions will be raw for awhile.

You are not wrong. I am so sorry for your loss and the trauma you are experiencing. You deserve love and support. You deserve tenderness from your family. I am so sorry :pleading_face:

No you feel your feelings. It is the worst thing to happen to a woman. No one can explain the loss you are feeling. Its awful and you are not alone.

Anyone who says you’re wrong for feeling a certain way is the one in the wrong. You have every right to feel angry, sad, bitter, etc. Recognizing your feelings is important in the grieving process. As long as you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else with your actions, then you aren’t doing anything wrong


you have every right to feel this way

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When I miscarried at 11-12 weeks, my MIL honestly didn’t know what to say to me or how to talk to me. At first, she didn’t say a whole lot, but then about three days into our loss, she came by with a beautiful angel sun catcher. She hugged me and started to cry and said, I don’t know what to do for you right now…, nothing seems like enough. It was enough. All I wanted at the time was that someone or anyone acknowledged that we had been pregnant and that my child was lost. I was so sad, and so mad at the world. The thing is, I am not sure how your MIL is receiving more condolences than you right now, unless she is making it public and you’re choosing not to… all I can say, the fact that she is acknowledging the loss is a good thing. She might be like my MIL and need a few days to gather her words to talk to you. What do you say to someone losing a baby ? she may have already spoken to your husband and wished you well, but in person is better. I wish you strength and love right now. Xo.


Sending a world of love your way. If she is posting about it more then you shell get all the attention. It’s an awful situation and I am so very sorry your going threw this.
No your not in the wrong your hurting/grieving and all that support you need and you’ll be craving that. Seak the support from the people who love and respect you.
I really hope this goes as well as can be expected and things settle down wit your mil xx

I think it’s such a hard topic for people because they know nothing they say can or will make things better so they just dont say anything at all. I had a miscarriage in 2012 and nobody ever said anything to me about it, not even my significant other. Nobody talked about it. Just pretended it never happened. Although they think it’s better to keep quiet since they dont know what to say, I agree they are wrong. Anything is better than nothing. It’s better to feel any form of support especially in such a hard time.

Nope. Not wrong in any way. Be as mad, sad, bitter, angry as you need. Miscarriages are the worst. I’m sending you so much love and a million hugs.


I’m so sorry this is a very difficult time for YOU!!!
You have every right to be mad, upset, angry and hurt! This is about you and your loss, sending you many prayers

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Focus on yourself and don’t worry about her or anyone else

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That doesn’t even deserve a comment


I’m sorry, this sucks for you. I have been through it and was completely devastated. You have the right to be mad but don’t let her selfishness take over. Think of yourself and heal, you got this. Take care of yourself.

You’re not wrong at all for feeling that way. I am so sorry you’re going through this.

You’re not wrong, you have every right to feel what you feel. Losing a baby is a different kind of heartbreak. And some mother in laws just feel way too entitled, she may be losing a grandbaby too but she needs to be more considerate of your feelings.

So sorry for your loss… it’s all about you and the baby. Some ppl are selfish.

I am so very sorry that you have to go through this. Take good care of yourself and don’t worry about anyone but yourself right now.

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You’re going to be angry for awhile. Im so sorry moma. Losing a baby is the hardest thing, my mil was the one who caused our last mc. Feel your feelings, you’re going through so much right now. Im praying for you!

Feel how ever you feel like is warranted. No one can tell you how it feels to lose. Hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life is lose my children to miscarriage. :pray: for you

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I had 2 miscarriages I always worried how my husband felt

My heart goes out to you… I just had my second in November, and no one but my husband and I knew about it, so it was very hard not having a support system…
Life is short, don’t hide your feelings about this. Tell her how you feel, that you are hurt, upset, angry… tell your husband and have him talk to her as well about this. She sounds very narcissistic

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Don’t tell your mil everything that’s going on.

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your grief is valid and so is hers… are the comments being made by people she knows or her friends?! if it’s people who dont know you that may be why they aren’t specifying you too. it doesn’t mean they don’t also have sympathy for what you are going through, it just means they don’t know you well enough to feel comfortable expressing their sympathy to you.

as far as your MIL not communicating directly to you, she may not want to be bombarding you, especially if you guys aren’t/weren’t close. It was hard for people close to me to know the “right” things to say. Try to remember everyone is grieving too and no one is trying to cause you more pain.


Hugs. You are going thru the worst pain imaginable. I have been there. Ppl aren’t always thinking when they say things. I know it is infact you who is having the hardest time. You are literally in hell, yes literally, and you need as many hugs and sympathy as possible but it will never fully end the pain. I feel for you, you are not alone and my heart weeps for you

EVERYone grieves differently.


My daughter died when I was 6 months pregnant. You are hurting, she’s hurting, your husband is hurting. It’s a loss and even though it physically happened to you, everyone around you, is grieving. I’m so deeply sorry for your loss… Lean on one another right now… you ALL need each other :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’ve lost 2. It’s a terrible hurt beyond words. It would be all too easy to lash out right now in the midst of your grief. I know from my own experiences. Honor your baby. It’s ok to feel how you feel. Sending you lots of love and deepest sympathies.

Be bitter all you want. This is hard on you. However, don’t shut every one out ok? Husband is suffering as well.


So not wrong for being bitter. Im so sorry this is happening to you :sob::pensive::broken_heart: hang in there momma good vibes your way

Hell no your not wrong your feelings matter too!!

You have EVERY right to be bitter. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

No you are definitely NOT wrong. While she is grieving too. YOU are the mom who is losing a child. My only son was killed last month and even though my MIL lost a grandchild I am the mom who lost her child. PLEASE stand up for yourself if your spouse is not. And remember you have the right to feel whatever you are feeling. My prayers are with you.

So sorry for your loss, when i lost my baby girl, due to a tubel pregnany that had me and baby laying on death bed, praying and scared, my ex’s mom and family made me feel as if my feelings didnt matter, that i needed to take care of my ex’s feeling and his family, then they turned around and told people i had an abortion to get sympathy for them! I have so much pain in my heart and anger for that, that i have tried to get over, its hard, and i am not saying don’t care about their aching heart as well, specially your spouses, but take care of you and your mental state! :heart: best of luck mama, so sorry for your loss and that you having to go through this along with unnecessary drama

hey chicky the emotional hurt and pain you are feeling would be huge and I’m sorry that you and your families are going through this dont get caught up in the bitterness everyone is hurting maybe the people asking her is she ok might be her family friends etc when we hurt so bad and so deep we quite often look for a scapegoat so to speak to try and take away some of the pain we are feeling bless you and your little girl xx

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There is no right way to grieve. And your feelings are valid. You have the right to feel the way you do.

I am so SO sorry you’re going through this. I cant even imagine the pain you must be in. I am so SO SO sorry.

I didn’t tell anyone till after. There’s nothing that can be said to comfort you unfortunately. Tell your husband to ask them not to bring it up and you and him work thru this together

Sorry for your loss.

This is so wrong on so many levels your having a miscarriage and all you concern yourself with is who is getting the most attention sorry for your loss but I still don’t get it

Maybe you should see your doctor for anxiety and depression. I’ve been where you are. Praying for you mama

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No, not wrong… but not profitting from putting your mind there either… I am so sorry to hear you are going through this…

I know you are hurting. A miscarriage is a lot of loss , disappointment and pain. To have life in you and lose it is traumatizing. I do not know your mother in law but the attention she is getting probably from people who know her. And you want to scream “I am in pain” and want people to hold you.
It was so sad. I know how that feels. You are grieving. You feel alone like how can anyone understand??
It is ok to grieve. you probably have some anger about going through this. Take a breath and get a little distance from MIL this is a time for you and your husband to grieve. It is ok to have a boundaries right now and put a bit of distance there. I didn’t want peoples pity I wanted to cry.
One of the most healing things we (husband and I ) did was name the baby. Not even a determined sex at this point but followed our heart.
It helped to realize my eyes will see the child one day because we committed the babe to God by name. Cut yourself slack right now. You don’t have to be tolerant or worry about if your feelings are right towards others right now. You need to heal. I am so so sorry for your loss. Praying for you.

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Not wrong at all, that is horrible

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Nope! Not wrong at all.

I’m praying for you and I’m so sorry

Your MIL is attention seeking. That’s insensitive to you, the actual woman dealing with all of it.

I’m so sorry! YOU matter the most! Take extra care of yourself. Please, dont drive a car or anything. (My bff was in your situation. She ran a red light and got into a car accident. She was 7 months along. She knew her baby didn’t have a heart beat. she was devastated being in this position. )