My 13-year-old daughter confided in me that her half brother and stepbrother at her dad’s side has been molesting her. I went to the authorities right away — She’s already in counseling, and she’s already been to the nordic center and has an advocate. I just don’t know what to do or expect. I have not yet come to terms with everything. It’s been going on for eight years. I feel like I have failed as a mom to protect her and keep her safe I need some advice and help.
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You need therapy too, and be her support
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You haven’t failed her!! Failing her would be doing nothing about the situation once she confided in you. Keep your head up, mama. It’s going to be a difficult process, but I’m sure she knows that you are there for her now that you know what happened.
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Trust me . You need to go to counseling too. You need to understand her hurt her confusion her love a d her hate.
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Oh my gosh!!i am so sorry your both going through this!it is in no way your fault…
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I just want to say good for you for believing her and calling cops right away!! Get some counseling and that will help. Be easy on your self.
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What is going on with the 2 boys now? Does she still have to be around them?
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So sorry to hear you are a great mom hope she gets the help she can hope the people that did this gets jail time and prayers to you and your daughter
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First of all you are in no way a failure you did what any good mom would have done gone straight to the authorities you need to see a therapist as well and maybe some anxiety meds god bless your heart I’m so glad you believed her and that she felt comfortable coming to you she may had been threatened all along and just had enough I don’t really know but just hold her tight and tell her this isn’t her fault at all and she didn’t do anything wrong
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Kill them for molesting your girl
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Please know you didn’t fail her. The fact that she came to you, you believed her and got her help means you’re an amazing mom. I work with crisis situations with rape survivors. Please get counseling yourself too. Keep her in therapy and just be there for her because it’s going to be hard with her having to recount her story so much. Praying for comfort for you both 
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I’m so sorry you’re all going through this. You haven’t failed her! Keep supporting her, and please get some help for yourself also! Xo
I agree you need some therapy as well. There are also group meetings set in place for parents of children who have gone through these things.
I. Am. So. So. Sorry! First get yourself in therapy, find a way to forgive yourself, even though it IS NOT your fault. All you can do is be there for her.
You certainly didn’t fail. She was very brave to come forward an you did the right thing going to the authorities. Therapy an counseling will help you both. As for the SOB’S that are guilty they will get what’s coming to them… Karma will be paying them a visit in the future.
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• you bury the rapists. You freaking hang them out to dry. (Legally)
• move away. Let her start over.
• she’s the victim… no excuses from the weak side.
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Oh honey you did NOT fail her!! If anything honestly… her father should have known!! How come she couldn’t go to him about it? It’s not right. Sweetie it is not your fault do not blame yourself, you couldnt have known. I’m so sorry this has happened 
you and your daughter both need counseling. I would hope it helps. My prayers are with you. 
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You didnt fail as a mother. You did the right thing and you both should be in counseling. I’ve been molested and was raped by my own family member and neighbor at the age of 7. I didnt know what I was supposed to do. So I kept to myself and cried myself to sleep every night scared. I told my mom and first thing she did was confront him and his mom called me and my mom liars and all kinds of names. She kept apologizing for not seeing and knowing what happened but she didnt know because I didnt tell her as soon as it happened. I was scared. Your daughter was probably scared too but she got over that fear and opened up to you. Be there support her and comfort her. Shes gonna needed
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U r helping her and stand by her side and together u will both heal u from the guilt and her from those sick bastards
They always recommend the parents seek counseling as well. It will be a great way for you to release those unnecessary feelings and learn how you can help her at the same time.
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No advice or suggestions- but I am so sorry. Best wishes for you both moving forward.
You didn’t fail them however I fear the half brother and stepbrother were molested by someone else too …its a sad situation for all involved
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BE PROUD OF HER!!! be so damn proud of her for telling. Know this is NOT ur fault. My own.dad raped me n nobody believed me so i blockef it out n yrs later he tried again , and i almost killed him for attempting to touch me around my daughter , none of that woulda happened if my mom woulda believed me as a kid. You are a remarkable woman amd just by believing her n being by her side , your doing so much more than most parents now a days. You n your child are so strong!. And on a serious note , i nvr say this bcuz i have allot going on. But if you ever need to talk to a stranger with no fear of judgement. Message me. My heart aches for ur sweet ur girl and u!
You have not failed as a parent!! This is not your fault nor your daughters… it’s the sickos fault and I hope he is held responsible to the fullest! Prayers and love to you and your daughter
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You did not fail her. Doing nothing would be failing her. Tell her you love her. This does not effect her worth. That she can come to u anytime. Keep getting her professional help. And send that asshole to prison. He will do it to another girl!!
You being able to control yourself and not go in a killing spree is better than I could have done! Hope the therapy helps her and you should get it too
You didn’t fail…you didn’t know…let her know it’s not her fault…
You might need a little counseling as well. You can’t control what goes on in the other parents home. Thank God she came to you and confided in you. I’m sorry to hear it’s been going on for so long. You got this mama!! It sounds like your making all the right moves now that you know 
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Kill those dirtbags.
Never leave your baby with someone that has a male in the household, I don’t care if they’re family, happened to me, I learn a very important lesson, never leave your babies out of your sight.
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Omg since she was 5 poor thing…just hold her & hug her tight
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You didn’t fail, I was molested as a child and didn’t tell my mom until I was 15. My parents now look at me as if I’m damaged and it has torn us apart. Sometimes I wish I never told them. But I couldn’t take it any longer and had to tell someone. Just let her know you will always be there for her. She will have nightmares and those are the worst as in my case its flash backs. She may end up with anxiety, possibly PTSD. Just keep doing what your doing. The doctors can and will help as long as she is willing to talk
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Keep her in therapy. Probably for you too, it will take a very long time to heal from this. Always believe her! My mother and most if my family turned their backs on me and didnt believe me & kept re questioning me- then as they talked between them selves they tried to tell me my story changed when it never did. That hurt more than i can describe.
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From experience with this, it I’m honestly matters how you act and support her, I wish my mom didn’t tell the world with out my permission and actually be supportive I would have transitioned better into dealing instead of learning to push everyone away.
You are not a failure. I really think you might need some counseling to help you deal with this. Be there for her. Dont push the subject. If she wants to talk…just listen. Be there for her. Im sorry you are going through this.
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Leave the son of a bitch hope they all rot in hell
So sorry you both now have to endure this but glad she was able to tell you,as for those monsters i hope they pay dearly and i pray her im assuming father also deals with this and takes your daughters side. May justice be made for your daughter
how awful i went thru the same thing as an 8 year old my step brother my dads new wife’s son had made me had sex with him i had no idea what was going on an when i told someone about it everyone thought i was lying it was an awful feeling so i’m glad you believed your child an i’m truly so sorry for her she will be in my thoughts and prayers to hope she can find peace in her heart god bless you both
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As a mom whose daughter has gone through something similar (my mother’s husband). I can say it’s going to be a long hard road of he said she said… STAY strong your baby needs you more than you know… make sure she knows this is in NO WAY her fault, she did NOTHING wrong… please watch her for signs my daughter started self harming in order to deal with her pain… best thing to do is listen and let her know how proud you are that she came to you she is so brave…
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This happened to me as a kid. You didn’t fail.
For me it was just be there for her. Don’t bring it up unless she does, don’t let that be the focus and her feel like it’s what everyone is thinking about, because she won’t want to be known as That. Be there for her, make her laugh and smile and show her how many amazing things and people there are out there! So sorry this happened to her & you.
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I had the same thing happen with my kids at their dads house, just keep pushing forward and be the advocate for your child.
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I’ve been in your shoes my daughter told my mom it was her sperm donor he is now in Prison doing 94 yrs it’s was her and her brother and I felt the same way u do but u didn’t fail her just keep doing what your doing you got this if u need to talk feel free to message me
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I wouldn’t kill them cus I know my daughter needs me. But best believe I’m beating them with a fuckin baseball bat and I’ll gladly go to jail to be bonded right back out. Fucking dirtbags. You didn’t fail. You did exactly what any mother would do and went straight to the cops. I hope your daughter can heal from this poor girl 
I suggest you see someone too. Not only to help you deal with these feelings of guilt but to learn better how to be there for her.
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Try and keep her away from them and have you told her dad?
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I worked as a therapist for several years working with teen girls who had been abused. Get therapy for yourself. It will help you not to project your own emotions into her. It’s important that she is able to feel and express whatever she feels without feeling guilt for it, or feeling responsible for YOUR feelings.
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You did the right thing by acting on it as soon as you found out, it would be a good idea for you to see a counselor as well so you can sort out all you feel better and be able to help your daughter through this. She is going to need your support but the only one to blame her is her dad and his house.
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As someone who was molested at that age, I can tell you, it wasn’t your fault. Predators have a way of making you not come to family with the truth. I can also tell you, just be there for her. It’s something you never get over. Never. I’m almost 40. Don’t bring it up but offer to talk or listen if she needs to. You might want to let her school counselor know too. In case she needs a break at school. Anything can trigger those hurtful memories. My thoughts are with you.
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You have in no way failed how should you have known!?!?!?! If anything you’re a remarkable mother for immediately going to the authorities alot of people domt you’re strong mama be there for that beautiful child of yours because she needs you and somt let those scum bags near her stay strong you’re doing amazing
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As the Mom of a 13 year old daughter as well my heart is heavy for you. Healing prayers to you and your little girl. So very sorry. Your doing all the right things Mama.
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You did not fail her. You are doing everything right! I was molested as a child and didn’t tell anyone until I was 18 an the abuse had stopped years before. She is so brave for telling you. You need to make sure she knows that you are proud of her.
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You have not failed her as a mum as the abuse happened over 8 year period. Just believe her and support her. Give her huge hugs and support her listen to her and don’t beat yourself up about it but also continue with the counselling.
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You’re not a failure hunn at all! Msg me I’m going thru pretty much the same thing!!!
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You didnt fail momma. Your taking action. Show her you care and listen to her. Give her space when she needs it. Things happen in our lives that our parents couldn’t have but wished they could have stopped. This will pass and you will both be stronger at the end.
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I went thru this! The cops should have gotten the DA involved! Hope to hell hes held accountable!
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I was molested at nine. Remember to tell her it’s ok and be there for her don’t change the life you have change is really hard when it comes to having a normal life like nothing happened it helps bring them back to normal and always be there. It gets better some days will be harder then others but always keep her head up along with your own
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My step father molested me from the time I was 7 until they separated when I was 13. I told my mother what he had done dates, times exactly what he did and she slapped me across the face and called me a liar. Why didn’t I tell her before? He said she knew. Many times he kept me home from school so she must have seen the attendance. I felt so dirty. 2 months before she died she admitted she had known all along and as long as he left her alone and no one got hurt she just ignored it. But I did get hurt. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I am so glad you stood by your daughter. She needs you.
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You didn’t fail! Please stop thinking that. Thankfully she confided in you and you went to the police. I hope they are arrested and held accountable for their actions. This is horrible. Glad she has a counselor and I think it would help you if you had one also.
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As long as you stand by her side and protect her from this day forward no need to feel guilt. You are making all the correct decisions. I went thru the same with my oldest, I hate that I didn’t know for so looking, but with help and therapy my daughter has healed from that trauma. Don’t beat yourself up momma.
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She has already taken a step to heal for herself. That’s courage that so many don’t have. You are doing the right thing as long as you’re by her side through it.
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You have not failed. You did the absolute right thing as soon as you knew. Be there for her, keep her in therapy. Praying for you guys 
You done the right thing by going to the cops as soon as she told u… dont beat ur self up … they need to learn this is what happens when u touch some one who u shouldn’t be touching… u did a grate job an getting her help… now it’s just to let her heal…
Hugs I found out when my daughter was 6 her uncle my brother had been molesting her I was so mad at my self I was angry I didn’t know but she’ll be 20 this year and I’ve learned that there was nothing I could have done differently he went to jail and I got her counseling and she’s doing well.
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I was molested by my mothers bf when I was 14. Come to find out he was doing it to my 12 year old sister too. I’m currently 19 and I try not to let it bother me, but it’s hard some days. In that time, I really wanted my mom to talk me about things and reassure me that things would be okay. But I could never get that from her since she told me I was lying about it.
Make sure she’s okay, always talk to her and show her love. She’s going to need it. There’s going to be days where she feels like it’s going to be her fault that it happened, remind her that it wasn’t and that she’s a strong young lady, a survivor. 
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I was molested at about 6 years old…by one of my moms boyfriends…I always thought she knew as I was showing physical signs and she took care of it…I confronted her in my 20’s and she quickly said sorry and changed the subject…I never got over that hurt and decided to bring it up again in my 30’s…she told me how was she supposed to know…because I never said anything…the same man that beat her in front of me and did every bad thing under the sun…I have since cut ties with my mother…because that on top of other things were just too much…so glad you are there for your baby girl((hugs))
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You know now and your dealing with it. Prayers
First you are a good mother because your daughter came to you. She trusted you and you did not fail her. It will be hard at times but you have each other. Stay strong
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Breathe cry breathe cry and breathe some more! You acted appropriately we beat ourselves up to much. Your doing what needs to be done. Pat yourself on the back even if your crying while doing it. She trusted you to help so that shows signs that she knows you love her enough to do something. If you need a little therapy on your own please get some so you can be stronger for her. Reassure her none of this is her fault as it wasn’t yours either. Y’all can get thru this together.
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You believed her off the bat and that is being a super mom.
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the daughter needs to get away from those jackasses and the 2 pricks need to spend time in prison
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Make sure she realizes theres nothing wrong with her. She is the victim! You are doing awesome especially since your daughter has come to you in trust. such a special bond you two will come out of this tragic time. It’s going to be rough. Hold her through all of it. she will appreciate it forever.
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The best and biggest thing you can do for her is believe her. Never question what she is telling you about what happened and walk beside her in whatever way she needs during the healing process.
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Good luck to you honey. You did not fail. You listened to her.
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Maam if you did not know you cant help them what matters is what you are doing now
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You didn’t fail… believe me my momma felt the same way. I was molested for almost 10 years. It stopped at 17 and I didn’t tell anyone until I was 22. Just let her talk as much as needed. Let her cry. You’re doing the right thing having her talk to a professional.
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I’m so glad your daughter came to you and told you. It’s out in the open. Get sole custody of your daughter!!! Supervised visitation with her dad.
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You did not fail as a mother. You’re doing all the right things as a mother, especially considering that she felt comfortable, safe and loved enough by you to come and tell you about what was happening. That’s a huge step for both of you. Just make sure you are there for her. Listen to her, love her, make sure she’s safe. Counseling is a great thing for her and it will help tremendously.
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It not your fault it just sick people out there take care of your kid no
One else sorry for you guys. Praying for you
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She came to you which means she trusts you so you are doing something right. And you are doing all the right things to help her heal. Give her time to heal and remind her every day that she is beautiful and worthy of love.
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"Parents of abused children surviving the abuse one day at a time " go there ok? It’s a group for us !
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It’s not your fault. You were there for her when you found out and that’s what counts. You are doing all the right things.
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Your doing everything right. I’m a victim of molestation. She’s so lucky. Neither of my parents knew & both have since passed away. My mother’s I guess boyfriend molested me multiple times. No one knew and I never knew to tell anyone.
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Wow u didnt know. I hope those 2 get jail time
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You showed her she means everything to you , that my friend is everything, you got this! Good parenting!!
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God Bless your daughter… send these people to jail. Least you should do. You can protect her from now until forever!!!
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Glad she opened up and told you. My own dad did it to me and always afraid to say anything. I definitely regret not saying a thing because I could have prevented it happening to my stepsister. Luckily she was brave enough and confided in her coach. Who of course has to immediately report to authorities. He’s been in jail for about 10 years now, he was eligible for parole this year but it was denied. Continue to be there and talk to her, let her talk, let her cry. Don’t blame yourself and please don’t let her blame herself for it happening to her.
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You will also need counseling. This is something that affects not just your daughter. In order to help her you need to make sure you are ok. You did not fail. You both were taken advantage of. Be there for her if she needs to vent or cry. Again YOU DID NOT FAIL. AND THIS IS NOT YOURS OR YOUR DAUGHTERS FAULT. Get the help you both need. It will be a very bumpy road. She will feel guilty like if it is her fault. Even if you tell her other wise. She will blame herself and even wish she hadnt said anything.
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Get counseling too. She is your baby and you are grieving for her. Be there for her. You are an amazing mom. She came to you, you believed her, and did everything you could for her. Keep supporting her, and again, get counseling for yourself.
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I have no answers to your questions about what to expect. Just wanted to say that I am praying for you and your daughter.
Look into contacting BACA they can help your daughter feel safe while you are fighting for her. This is such a scary time for both you and your daughter and I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. BACA is a whole organization whose purpose is to help families through these times and their “rough and tough” appearance often helps kids feel safe testifying that otherwise might be too scared of their abuser to say anything in court.
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Woah … I’d lose it . .
I feel for you
You don’t know how cunning these molesters are. They probably warned her with, “I kill you or your parents if you tell”. The best you can do is find out as much about perpetrators and what the victims emotions may be. I would start with talking to counselors and help groups. Get as much literature as you can. It’s a tough long road for her. Don’t push, but when she talks listen. Ask her if she wants to be hugged. Don’t assume she wants to be touched. She may be irritable, sad, have sleepless nights. Expect an extreme shift in moods. She’ll need counseling with a female therapist.
Lastly, trust is a big issue. I’ve been trying to help the helpers to Stop asking the victim to trust you. They have been betrayed in the worst possible way. The only way she can learn trust is by showing not telling.
Don’t hesitate to reach out for help in dealing with becoming a helper. You may want to have a journal with you to right down feelings your and hers. Also, to keep track of questions and answers. I wish both of you the best.
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You haven’t failed her. You didn’t know and when she did finally tell you you took steps to protect her, get her justice and get her help. Get yourself some counselling as well. Speaking to a professional is the best way you can get the help you need to help her. Speaking from personal experience, I understand what you’re going through and how hard it is not to blame yourself. There are still times 3 years later where my daughter will be in the middle of an anxiety attack and I’ll blame myself for not knowing what he was doing to her and my poor baby now having to live with all of this trauma. Best of luck with everything
Be there for her emotionally you will need counseling as well. If you don’t have some custody get it with supervised visitation for dad. Speak to the police about getting the da involved. These two need to be in jail and on the registry.
Nothing you can do sweetie but keep going to counseling, all of you, be there for her if she ends up going through tough times and take care of yourself. It takes a long, long, long time before ANY of that guilt starts to dissipate but it will if you continue to work forward. I don’t believe it will ever completely go away and I have argued over this many, many times because I don’t think I should be forgiven but I do know that I am a better person and parent since I’ve let go of some of the guilt but my God it took YEARS. And it sounds like you handled it appropriately so at least your daughter knows you believe her and you’re on her side because to this day I still feel that’s THE MOST IMPORTANT THING in these situations! It would fuck her up a lot more to not have her mom on her side. There’s a good chance that you all could possibly have a lot more tough times ahead because this is a life long battle so just take care of each other as much as you can. It really never ends, it really, doesn’t get better or anything, but 1 day you don’t hurt so bad and 1 day you won’t remember it all as often. I know that’s not the most comforting thing to hear but it is true. Good luck to you all sweetie and I’ll Pray for you
Why in the hell are you even asking people on social media about this? Carry your ass to the damn police station and let them swear out a warrant for them.
All of the above and never let them near her again 
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I held in all the pain to make sure my husband and daughter were ok. I tried being the strong one. When I should’ve been taking care of myself too. I thank God my daughter told me what grandpa was doing or things could’ve been worse. Prayers for her and you.
The world is ugly. I am happy she confided in you.its a long journey ahead but you both will be fine.strongs and lots of love to both of you❤
You didn’t fail your daughter. Where the he’ll was her father in this time that these boys would have this opportunity?! Your daughter will need your support and guidance for it all. She needs to know you will be there for her no matter what. I would also find a way to make it where those boys cannot ever have access to her again! Even if that means she never goes to her dad’s ever again!
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