You are not a failure as a mother. You’re a wonderful mother because as soon as she told you, you got help and want justice. Just continue to support and love her❤
My friend found child pornography in her childs phone that was provided to her by the father and has withheld contact and is getting eaten alive in court and solictors. Appararently the child has to see father
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The first motherly instict that came to your mind was to protect your daughter for me thats the best thing you could have done and don’t blame yourself coz your reaction shows should you have had a chance to protect you would have so be strong for your daughter and let law deal with those monsters family or no family they devil’s advocates they don’t deserve to be in the socials bloody perverts
believe her, love her and support anything that could help her. she will love you for that
You better keep strong to support your daughter. I would guess you may have missed some signs that this was taking place ?
Sometimes there never signs !! Somethings girls don’t speak up trust me it doesn’t mean you fail as a mother but here and now is where she’s gonna need you even more be by her side let her no she’s no longer alone and work with her because she going to have issues growing up being able to cope and deal with it all check in with her don’t helicopter over her either don’t treat her different just be there when she needs you
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I have been through this and even through both girls have in detail to several different people, the counselors, the advocacy center, and the court ordered custody evaluator, they still made them go back to their dad. I was able to fight for 5 years and they didn’t have to see him. But they eventually had to go back even after all the fighting I did. But now they are older and he can’t get away with it again, and now it’s kinda surpervised being his parents are with them at all times, and he maybe sees them like 1-3 hours every other weekend
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Oh hun. You haven’t failed her. I know someone who has a son who molested her youngest daughter (his bio sister) you can’t predict these things and when we live in a world that tells you older brothers are there to protect their younger sisters we wouldn’t think anything of leaving our children to play together. You have done all of the right things. Failing would be finding out and doing nothing or refusing to believe her. Big hugs for you both.
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You didnt fail her. As a victim of rape myself, it took me almost 6 years to come forward and tell ANYONE. Your choices did not cause the ones who wronged her to do what they did. They chose to be what they are. You did the best you could and ultimately, the fact that she trusted you enough to finally tell you now: it takes so much time to build that courage and it’s often such a huge leap. Stay strong, momma 
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You are not to blame at all It happened where you couldn’t be in control. Keep up what you are doing hope you get justice
Keep her away from them ‘tell Dad if you need to I sure would’ and continue what you are doing. I don’t know how you would know, my sister was too (step Dad), she ran away from home. Be thankful she told you and is now getting help Mamma!!
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People r slick at hiding their true selves.dont blame yourself.b glad she came to u.tell her u r their for her when ever she needs u and start healing together.u may also need some counseling.u have not failed as a mother.u just trusted the wrong people.shame on them not u
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So sorry for what has gone on and I hope you all the luck in the world but this is far more than any of us on this page can help with professional counciling is what is needed for you both to understand and get to grips with good luck both of you x
You did not fail your daughter momma! Remember she beleived and trusted you enough to confide in you. Its going to be a very long hard journey ahead. My prayers are with you. Continue to support and love her and you guys will get through this and come out stronger. I’m so very sorry!
You didn’t fail her. Be her voice when she can’t speak. Show her you’re here. I promise you didn’t fail. Prayers for you and your daughter:heart:
I feel for you both! Have the step brothers had charges filed yet? What does your ex say? I hope like hell he believes her, just as you have done. Thats an important part of her healing I would assume.
I hope he’s standing shoulder to shoulder with you through this! She needs united parents that take action. You’ve done it and I really hope he believes her and does whatever it takes to help her.
I’m so very sorry she has gone through this. Prayers and hugs for you both. 
You’re not a failure. I felt the same when my child told me her bio dad did it to her, she was 4 at the time. Still do sometimes. Unfortunately, we can’t know everything, we can be everywhere, we can’t always be there. It’s not your fault. It’s not her fault. You did what was right as soon as she told you. Now all you can do is be there for her now. Some people will be against her. She’s going to need you more than ever! Good luck, mama! It’s a hard process. But you’ll both get through it!
Yes you did the right thing. My mom chose my step dad over me and it killed apart of me.
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RAINN.ORG. is a great place to start. I was like your daughter only it was my paternal grandfather and unfortunately there was no physical evidence so cops didn’t do shit. The best thing for her is for those boys to serve jail time and for her to know her mom believes her. My entire dads side chooses to be in denial and falsely believe that that evil piece of shit is innocent because they never seen any signs so I must be lying. Them not believing hurts just as bad as the acts themselves and to this day, even though its been years since it stopped, still makes me cry/hurt/disgusted. I didn’t come forward till I was old enough to realize what he was doing was actually wrong (high school) after over 10 years of being molested. I was homeschooled, had a speech problem, and innocent so I was an easy target. Your daughter was probably like me and didn’t know it was wrong, cause why would people that are family and supposed to love her hurt her? By the time she figured it out. She was probably di,sgusted with herself and was afraid of getting in trouble or worse, not being believed. Remind her that she didn’t do anything wrong, it wasn’t her fault, make her believe you believe her, sign her up for self defense classes, remove all pictures of the boys from the house and Facebook, and never repeat those boys names in her presence. She’d probably benefit from peer support groups too so she knows she’s not the only one and has people her own age that she can talk to. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck and hope those boys rot in jail.
Talk to a professional not Facebook
REAL TALK. I just put my kids’ father in prison for sexually assaulting my girls multiple times. Found out Dec 2017, and our hard work put him in prison 4 months later. If you need someone who can relate, if you need some advice, if you want to know what I look back on and now know, do not hesitate to PM me. My mission is to help others who have the worst luck of going through what we did, because in the end, we are GOOD.
You are clearly a good mother, simply because your daughter trusts and feels comfortable enough to tell you about this! Don’t doubt yourself mama! Take it a day at a time and work thru it. I have never experienced anything related to this, and hope I never do! Good luck with it all!
You did the write thing getting her the help and care just be there for her and tell her it’s not her fault
dont let her go to her dads, and if you have to get the court involved, do it.
You have every right to keep her from going there and she’s now of age to choose who to stay with and who not to see
You did not fail her. You did everything you should have done in that position. The fact you blame yourself shows you are a great mother. Just be there for her like you are doing❤️
I’m curious as to where her father stands. Is he on your daughter’s side or is he believing those animals?
You didn’t fail her at all. As a woman who was molested by her stepbrother as a child, thank you. Thank you for believing her. Thank you for fighting for her. And thank you for being the parent my father and stepmother weren’t. When I told my parents what was going on, I was called a lying slut, put on a 72 psych hold, and later kicked out by my parents. I was 13-14 at the time, though it had been happening since I was 11. I’m now 34 and still trying to heal. Just keep trusting and believing her, and be there for her. She’s lucky to have you
I want to warn u that survivors of sexual abuse lash out because they are hurting and they dont know what to with that hurt she may even say something to the effect of how u failed her or u werent there for her its just the hurt coming out anyway it can. I am a survivor of rape and I lashed out at everyone in my life for a LONG time. Im sure its hard u’d have to ask my dad but really you would have to b like a pin cushion and take it without takeing it personally they are trying to process and work through it in their head. I hated the world and everyone in it for a couple of years. To this day I still haven’t worked through it I’m still on the trying to pretend it didn’t happen phase and have been for about 7 yrs now
Prayers to your family, I re-had the safe touch talk with me kids again today
I am so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. Both my sister and I have both been molested by our father for years. I tried telling my mother she didn’t believe me. But when I went to school I told someone and they had cys involved but then my mother lied to them and said I was sexually excited whenever I see men. I was only in 3rd grade. And she told them I was on my period. But when I met my now husband I told his mom and dad about it. That was when my husband came back and tried to get me out of my house. Parents threatened him and things got violent from there. But short story short my aunt’s and uncles knew about this as well tried to help get me out of there and I was stuck there until the age of 31. But now I am loving my life and myself because I have moved away from him and I no longer have to worry about being hurt anymore. I still have my flashbacks but I am managing them. So please she needs you right now. I wish I had mother who had believed me
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When I was four one of my uncles started raping and molesting me. He was one of my babysitters so he was around a lot. I didn’t know how to tell my mom what was happening to me. I didn’t tell anyone in my family until I was about 20 years old. Once I outed him he wrote me a letter apologizing saying god forgave him so I need to forgive him too. And it had about $500 in it. I recorded myself burning the money and sent it to his wife on here. Fuck him I hate him so much. My favorite thing is that he married one of my cousins (other side of the family) that’s the same age as me. It’s not incest but it’s just wrong.
You had no control over this. Let your daughter know you’ll always be there for her. If she needs to talk or just cry.
I would let her father know what’s going on and that she isn’t going to his house until those boys are out. Press charges on them, do everything you can to get them in trouble. They deserve punishment for what they did to her.
She confided in you and you are doing everything in your power to help her. Let her know it wasn’t/isn’t her fault! Keep showing her you love and care for her. Cry, yell or hit something with her so she knows you will be there for the good and the ugly times.
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As someone who has been a victim of sexual violence I would say it’s important to learn the right and wrong things to say to her. Some of the things you think may be comforting to her might not be as comforting as you would think. My mom always said things to try to help me and even though she had good intentions, there was just a lot I didn’t want to hear and made me feel worse. Ask her counselor about it. Also, if she doesn’t want to talk about it be sure not to push on the subject. You’re such a good mom for believing her first and foremost and secondly, for calling the police. Don’t feel like a failure. Sometimes there’s things in life that are out of our control. There’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent it. That’s all on her dad to have had that going down in his home.
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This horrible situation is bigger than any of us. Please seek professional counseling for yourself. This is traumatizing for her and you.
You did not fail.You did something as soon as you knew and no she is getting help.
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U did not fail her her father did she was in his care I would be fighting my arse off in court and not allowing her to go I would also contact child safety and let them know what’s been going on
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I haven’t been in your shoes, but I was a victim advocate years ago. … But you should go to counseling yourself, get a lawyer for ur daughter. Get court orders to where she doesn’t have to go there. Get restraining order,
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Do not beat yourself up! This is not your fault. Do not stop until they pay for what they did. Getting away with molesting her is not an option.
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You can not blame yourself, as parents we’d love to be there 24/7 for our kids but that’s just not possible. You’ve done right so far in the steps you’ve taken, just keep her from there and go through court as far as continuing visitation with her father goes. Keep your head up and keep the strong support around her you both will get through this as long as you stay strong and positive
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Throw their ass’s in jail. Your job is to protect her. Period.
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No worries, things like this sadly happens without you knowing about it. What’s important is that you know about it now. Just be there for her if she needs to talk about anything. If she wants to talk about it, tell her to just talk and your all ears.
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Maybe join a support group, you need to also have support for yourself. She needs you to be strong. Thank God she spoke up at all!
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Counseling for yourself is a big suggestion. Always is for the mother in tough times of children.
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She is brave and felt safe to tell you .dont beat yourself up. She needs you to look forward with her.
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Sounds like incest. How old are they?
Remain calm. I can assume since you’ve contacted authorities she is no longer allowed contact. And if you havent been informed of that she shouldn’t be talking to anyone in that house until the brother is removed. Remain calm for her. You cant loose your shit and if you have keep composure. Show her resilience.
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This in no way excuses it but we have a experience with our nephew he was being abused and because the people who abused him never got in trouble he didn’t see that it was wrong and turned around and touched another kid at his school of course it was reported because he is already in a foster home but now he’s getting the services he needs as well as being taught what’s appropriate and what’s not. I don’t know how old the other child is in your case and that is a long time so maybe not similar to ours at all but I would explain to her that maybe it was done to them and they weren’t taught it was wrong. Again I don’t want to sound like I’m excusing it I just never looked at the other side of things having been abused by adults when I was a kid It never occurred to me situations like with our nephew. You have not failed her the only way you could fail her is by not listening by not believing and by not getting her help to cope with what’s happened. I understand the feeling it’s okay to feel that way but don’t stay there in those feelings. You’re doing great because you’ve already got her in therapy and an advocate. As a kid I wanted my mom so bad she left so when things happened to me I just wanted my mom to hold me hug me let me know I was loved that it wasn’t my fault there’s just sick people in the world. I hope this somehow helps you and I will send good thoughts for you and her both.
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Honestly you’re a great mother. You took action asap
My parents just swept it under the rug 
In my eyes you’re a hero and yes it’s going to take time to heal but just let her know that she’s strong and will get through it with you by her side
Sending you my love and good vibes 
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Ask her how she wants you to be there for her. If she wants to talk, get involved in a new activity or sport, keep a journal, plan weekly mom and daughter dates. Everyone heals a little different, it sounds like you’re headed in the right direction. You didn’t fail your baby, and you’re fighting for her like you should be. I’m so sorry for her, but I know it’s possible to grow past things like this and have a happy life. She’s lucky to have a loving mother. 
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Please don’t feel like you failed at anything. It can be hidden so well. My parents had no idea what was happening to me by our neighbor next door for 2 years.
Sounds like you are doing everything you can. And you are an amazing mom.
I can’t and don’t want to imagine how it feels to you, but know you are doing your best.
Just keep hugging her and reminding her that NOTHING was her fault. Even if there was any “good feeling” from anything that happened. Still wasn’t her fault and doesn’t make her bad.
So sorry
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You need to get into counseling as well.
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That you went to the authorities is a such a great thing and got her some counseling. Let the healing begin.
Who TF is molesting them?!
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you listened and took action. that is MORE than enough. others have failed in that aspect alone.
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You didnt fail her, you absolutely cannot blame yourself. My heart breaks for her but she needs to know how STRONG she is for coming out and telling you! That can be the hardest part sometimes and go you for taking her seriously and taking immediate action. She has a long road ahead but she WILL preserve! I reccomend being there in any and every way she needs you to and if she doesnt want to talk about it then dont make her, wait until she is ready to get some of it out. Its important that she doesnt burry those feelings though, deal with it and let her heal. Faith will go a long way. Good luck to you both, I will pray for healing for your sweet girl and you Mama! 
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This happened to me as child. I never told my parents though. Just be there for her. Continue to tell her it’s not her fault and they are messed up, something is not right in their head. Seek justice for her and hopefully she can move on.
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I have been in her shoes, but sadly had no counseling and I made some bad choices in my life, but I am in a good place now. Just be there and please get counseling for yourself as well.
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Follow her lead. I would try and push to put them away but depending on what it does to her this can be tricky. Keep her in counciling and just be there for her. Don’t over mother her and invade her space and always be there unless she ask. She will reach out when she is ready and let you know she needs you. Just make sure she knows your there. Some kids don’t ever want to talk about it others do. Her pain and fear may never go away but holding it and saying I feel like I failed you can make her not want to talk or mention in in coping ways even as she gets older. I say this from experience as a child of abuse.
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Don’t give up. Don’t do anything rash. Follow everything until it’s been put to rest. The same thing happened to me when I was 4yr-6yrs old. I’m 20 now and I still struggle understanding how people can be so sick. You are her biggest advocate!! You’re not to blame. So please try not to wear that burden. It’ll only destroy you. Getting your daughter justice and making sure her mental health is stable is top priority. It wouldn’t hurt to give counseling a go for yourself as well. Try to prepare yourselves the best you can for any outcome. I’m so terribly sorry your daughter is going through this. I wish you all the best of luck
You believed her and stood right up for her. That’s good mothering. They lied to her and twisted her mind to coerce her silence. You will walk with her to recovery. I cannot emphasize enough: You stood up for her!
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U have not failed her. Be her support show her shes loved and advocate advocate advocate for her!!!
Please don’t Medicare her fears as they WILL come back as she has adult relationships.
Therapy yes as much as SHE wants.
You need support too, again same advice plus get your besties 1+ and tell them so THEY can learn from the experience, and give you the love and support YOU need. 
There’s not really anything else you can do except be there for her and listen and do not judge her. I went through a situation when I was 11. I was afraid for years to tell my mom (because I was threatened) and she would make jokes when I didn’t show an interest in boys. None called, I didn’t have friends who were boys, etc. She would joke and ask if I was gay. Please don’t do that. I know my mom didn’t know and she didn’t understand how hurtful those comments were. Just be there and let her know you are there if she wants to talk. And really listen.
U did not fail as a mom my dad assaulted me for 3 years. My mom felt guilty… the trail prosses if it goes to court will be very hard on her just be there for her if she wants to be by herself to prosses let her if she needs a hug then give her that dont push for information and dont medicate her make sure she has a counselor she likes so she can heal not stuff it down and hurt later on in life
Definitely be their for her! Dont beat yourself up for it. It will be rough.
I’d be cutting all visits off, and going to court to get full custody. If they have been doing that for years! Then clearly they haven’t been watched properly for a long time. Until there has been a through investigation done, I wouldn’t let her over there and keep supervised visits if the father wishes to keep in contact with her. I was molested as a little girl, and didn’t tell my mom till my friend talked me into it at the age of 13. Best suggestion I can give you, is that she really needs her mom’s support right now. You defending her against her attackers, so she doesn’t have to face them ever again. Don’t give up on fighting. Make sure to go to court and change the visitation to supervised, and no over night stays. Hell I’d got for full custody, cause the abuse had been going on for 8 years! Not a single other adult in that household knew about it. That tells me they weren’t paying attention, or were to stuck up their own asses to watch their kids. This absolutely breaks my heart. As an adult now, I still have nightmares of my abuse. I could only wonder how she will handle it growing up.
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As someone who was molested by NUMEROUS family members, be there for her. No matter what! I am so sorry that happened to her. I know how she feels. You are all in my thoughts 
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You did not fail her you did something as soon as she told you & got her help! I’ve been in the same situation I went through it for 3 years from age 10-13 my stepdad did it to me & I was scared to death to tell anybody but when my mom finally knew she chose him over me & called me a lier 
so you absolutely DID NOT fail ur daughter u done everything right after she told you that I wished my mom would have done for me but didn’t 
now I’m struggling with PTSD!
You believed her that was step one! You took action! You reported it! She is getting the help she needs! Where did you fail her?? How did you fail her? Sounds to me like your a great mother! To many people dont believe girls when they speak up.
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You took the proper steps as soon as you knew. She will always love you for that. You need to take care of your self too. Maybe see a counselor or a support group so you can for give yourself and move forward with your daughter.
I have also been in her shoes and kinda sorta been in yours also the same happened to my niece by a grown man same as me when I was around her age 
Mom don’t blame yourself, kids go through so many life stages you can only know if u see it or they tell you! I know it’s hard for you both you just need to be there and make sure that when she wants to talk she has you to talk to! My mom was too busy trying to be a single mom and raise us that I was scared to talk to her just please make sure a counselor and advocate isn’t the only people she has to talk to! I could have saved myself from alot of stupidity, regret, and heartache if I had only felt like there was someone important to me that I could talk to
I have questions. My kids 4&11 know they can come to me with anything anytime. And they do and they’re both boys. I don’t understand why it took that child so long to tell her own mom. Maybe the mom is more dismissive than approachable at times.
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Do not issue a restraining order until the case is closed. But definitely do it.
I have no advice because I think you’ve done so much good for her already. You may want to consider counseling for yourself. It may be good so you can just talk. You may come to terms with the feelings you aren’t sure of yet.
Do they have cares? I would get her checked out asap
You did the right thing so far. I will say… go through with charges if possible. Prosecute to the fullest extent of the law. Don’t let it go. It will be hard for her, but if you do nothing to save her from the difficult process she will regret it later in life and it will eat away at her daily. I have been there and it creates even more anger that no one fought for me and my sisters to get justice. It’s unresolved and no matter how long it’s been, knowing that he’s still free and has access to his other children including one of MY sisters makes me sick and makes me feel so guilty. But I was a child myself. I was scared and I didn’t want to deal with court and police… And when my sisters saw that nothing happened to him when I told, that made them even more scared to tell. Because no one was gping to do anything about it… Our mother should have been there for us and made sure he was brought to justice. Yes it wpuld have been hard for us to relive and go through everything that comes with a legal case but it very well may have brought us a feeling of closure to see him pay for what he did and know that he wouldn’t be hurting anyone else.
So sorry this happened to you and your daughter! Remain calm, pray, and talk to someone if you can. But remain strong for her. She needs you. Reassure her she will no longer have to deal with them. You did the right thing mama! Keep that bond with her strong. Prayers❤️
You are not a mind reader. You now know, so take action, now, to protect her in the now and the future.
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You haven’t failed her. You believed her and are now doing everything in your power to make sure she gets the help she needs. I recommend that you also seek out counseling for yourself too. It will help you work out your feelings and is another source of support for you while you support your daughter. Praying for you both.
How old are the boys? Makes me wonder if they have been abused? You are not guilty. You did the right thing.
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I was raped by my moms bf for 10 years and my mom didnt believe me nor keep me away from him… you did good in contacting the police. Keep her away from him and get a rape kit done. I’m so sorry your going threw this.
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I think you have done well so far. I would also seek counseling for yourself and maybe even joint sessions for you and your daughter together. Dedicated try for full custody of her and try to keep a normal routine. Let her lead conversations about it if they happen and you let her have some of your strength. Part of the normal routine and actions will help keep the balance in her life and tou don’t want to swing to the side of gifts and presents and things for her because you feel bad. Maybe in some time you can do a mother daughter spa day where you get nails, massage or hair done together.
Sounds to me like you have taken the steps to ensure she is getting help. The best thing you can do for her now is take care of yourself. See a therapist to work through your emotions so you have room in your mind to continue to help and support her. Good luck momma, you will be in my prayers
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U should also be talking to a counselor at least. U need to know how to help her and urself.
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Love her, listen to her. It will be a very long healing process. But she’s so lucky to have a mother that listened and took action!
Definitely go after him to the fullest extent! Don’t let the bastard get away with it. It’ll be tough. Be strong for your daughter
Good going mom!! Soon as you knew /she told you. You took the right action and are standing by your daughter!!
Get yourself into counseling for support
Trigger right back!
Eight years and you didnt notice, or was too busy to notice, to involved with person’s to notice?!
There had to have been SOMETHING that your daughter was trying to get across to you…while it was happening.
Get yourself into counseling as well.
What the hell. Jesus. If that was my daughter, those boys would sure as shit not be walking around no more.
She felt like she could tell you. It may have taken 8 years, but she brought that pain to you and laid it at your feet expecting you to help her. That in and of itself proves you’re not a terrible mother. Don’t take the guilt on yourself, those feelings belong only to the predator and not you or your baby girl. Just remind her constantly that it wasn’t her fault, it has nothing to do with her, and she did the right thing by standing up for herself. Her value is not in her body but in the strength of her spirit to overcome what she’s been through. It’s very difficult when it’s someone you know and love, I would make sure she knows her love wasn’t wrong, theirs was. 13 is a very tender age in general, but she has a good start being able to lean on you through this. I would also have her evaluated for PTSD as many young people don’t recognize or understand the symptoms that come with it. Best of luck, keep up the good fight mama
First of all please dont feel like you are a failed mother. How are you suppose to know unless she gave hints or something.
You did not fail her because as soon as you found out you took action. That’s what matters.
Someone who was a child who was molested and raped, I told people what was happening when I was young and no one listened. The person I told, told someone else and they took action but when the authorities were called and went to the original person she denied it all. I thought I was doomed to an eternity of that hell until someone finally listened when I was 15!!!
Imagining something like this happening to your baby girl is heartbreaking and having it actually happen is even worse. Be there for her. Listen to her. Dont tell her how she should feel just let her feel her emotions. Be her rock and stay her rock. Also remind her that it’s not her fault it happened. Make life about her and show her everything wonderful in it. Keep being a wonderful momma. You both got this and she will heal eventually.
You have no failed, it is your time now to help her and be there for her. It sounds like you are already handling it as best as you can. You are there for her, believe her, support her and support her in coming forward and talking to a Councillor. This is will be with her forever and with you now too. Be strong, my heart breaks for both of you.
Get yourself a counselor as well
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Has dad been notified?
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I’ve been thru this PM me with anything
First of all it isn’t your fault.
Second get yourself some help!
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Don’t let her go over there
Get her into a group