My nephew falsely accused my husband of touching his private area in the bath tub Emmy husband does not bathe him I do he does not even bathe our children, he told someone that he touches him while I’m asleep, but my husband works third shift and isn’t there when he is asleep, and my nephew don’t spend the night I watch him Monday through Friday, and my husband goes to sleep before he even leaves to go home I keep him while his mom works. Dhr has been contacted, and they made myself and kids leave with no contact to my husband until case has been resolved, they are gonna ask my four-year-old questions about his dad am I not allowed in the room what legal advice for anyone that has gone through this can anyone give me for this type of situation! His mother doesn’t even believe that my husband has done such a thing. We think it is just attention-related, how have anyone else’s situations ended? My husband is such a laid back loving guy that has been through hell and just wanted peace, and now this has happened. Can anyone give advice to me as the wife and as the kid’s mother? Please help.
Sorry but if my nephew had told me that I’d be listening. People not listening to children is how cases like this get missed, even if it does turn out to be an attention thing imagine how guilty you would feel for not believing him and it turned out to be true🤷🏽♀️
Maybe you could get your husbands work schedule to show he isn’t even there at night? It may help a little
Well to be honest I would make My husband take a lie detector test… With accusations like that im sure they would give him one:\
If it isn’t your husband, it’s definitely someone who is abusing him. Children don’t just “make this stuff up”.
Let them do their investigation and comply. In order to find out, who the person responsible for this abuse is.
Also, nobody wants to admit their spouse is a child predator, but there are so many out there.
Do as instructed by dhr and seek out a lawyer just incase.
I would take him seriously even if you don’t believe it. What’s his motive to lie? Attention? I doubt it. Look at maybe other options of people it could be. But that’s suspicious that he would lie about that.
Believe children. Period.
Steve wilkos show?? 
Do what your told to do. If he is innocent it will come to light. Never take this lightly
No legal help but if hes proven to be clear i wouldnt watch ur nephew no more
I think first you need to really think about time he spends with your nephew. If things still don’t add up you need to ask why he would lie about that ? Something must be happening maybe by someone else but by someone and your nephew is trying to ask for help.
Work your case, listen to all involved, might need as lawyer
A child would not make something like this up?! I am happy to see they are following through, & getting to the bottom of this! If your husband is innocent, then that will show during this investigation. If not, he will get what he deserves.
How old is the nephew? Is there a chance someone else has had access to him…maybe in his home or with other relatives? And where has the child got the information/education… or how was the information/education about being touched inappropriately delivered to the child?
I would sit him down an ask him of he had ever been touched by someone else in the family he sounds like he has been abused in that way but just possibly pointing at your husband.
Maybe your nephew is being touched by someone else but too scared to tell on that person? Maybe he’s being told to say these things? Have your husband take a lie detector test to prove his innocence. Follow along with DHR and everything will work out. Prayers for all involved.
Get a lawyer. Don’t talk to dhs… they twist things up and lie about what you say. No lie detector test. They are not your friends. Lie detector tests can fail, my sister in law took one for a job and failed over a drug question and she doesn’t do drugs, I know for a fact. Lawyer up and if anyone asks you don’t know anything!
Really? Believe the child.
Believe the child first. Always.
Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. The state does have a legal right to interview your child without you being present. You shouldn’t be in the room when your child is interviewed, given the fact that you don’t believe the allegation. You need to do exactly what the state tells you to do, or you will be in danger of losing your own kids to foster care. I feel horrible for your nephew, if in fact his own mother doesn’t believe his disclosure of abuse. Sad.
How old is your nephew? Children don’t just make things like that up. He’s either hearing it somewhere or experiencing it somewhere. It might not be your husband, but likely someone in his life has touched him.
How old is the child? Maybe confused about who. Hire a lawyer.
wow when the husband is cleared i’d beat that kids ASS for making shut up lying and putting people thru shit like that that shit can’t an shouldn’t be tolerated at all!
If there’s no room for lies on your husbands behalf (schedule, times etc) then I’d be doing as I am told and getting a lawyer just to cover myself. You didn’t say how old your nephew is, and what motives he would have to lie about something so serious? I don’t believe a child (depending on age) can make up something so damaging without just cause.
Get an attorney who can properly answer your questions and ad use you and your husband. This is a very serious matter and the only way your husband’s rights will be protected is to have an attorney.
Listen to the boy . Have him examed . It will go along way for you to listen and do everything your told to do.
I have been thru this! However not family. Baby sitters bf. This boy absolutely needs to be taken seriously. One thing the detective told me was a child would not make something like this up. Exact words “ were going in for the arrest” not sure how old ur son is but she was 4 when this started happening. My best advice would be to follow the direction on dcf, DA and police and yes they all can absolutely interview without u there. They video record it anyway.
Firstly I’m really glad this is actually being dealt with … if it comes back that your husband is not the perpetrator there is a high possibility somebody else is kids say things etc but to add specifics considering he needs to be bathed he sounds pretty young that really didn’t just come from nothing 
how awful
Went thru this with a friend. Her son was accused of touching her grand daughter (his niece) he was 11 she was 4. Immediately hired an attorney that told us to get him under a polygraph ASAP. We were more concerned about getting them both help etc. He passed his polygraph, was interviewed by child protective services, the case was thrown out against him and she was ordered to receive counseling etc. it was a horrible horrible situation for the entire family. Get him a polygraph test immediately. You can call your local police station they may give you the company they use for hiring officers. I pray for your family.
Why is the kid gonna lie about that … where the hell would they get that type of story sometimes they get confused on who it is maybe… good luck /: I hope it isn’t true but I don’t see why a 4 ye old would lie
My oldests biological dad is sitting in jail awaiting conviction on 3 life sentences of what he did to her. Everyone believed him over her. Now they believe her.
Do not allow them to talk to your children until you have a lawyer
Kids dont make this up. Why doesnt your husband bathe his own children ? If the mom doesnt believe it, why is the law involved? How old is the child ? A lot of things are being left out. Best advice is to get an attorney and do exactly what cps.tells you to bc you will lose your own child if you dont
Sometimes children who are abused can project m. If your husband didn’t abuse him then it sounds as though someone did. I would definitely not take what he says lightly. Don’t put any of your doubts about your husband on this child. The truth will come out and these things take time. If your husband absolutely didn’t do it then he(you) also has nothing to worry about. My foster child was abused while in the care of a friend. She blamed her own father but the investigation concluded that it was a teenager boy who also lived in the home. Give your nephew as much support that’s humanly possible. Children have fear of getting in trouble or getting others in trouble and they need all the support they can get
DHS CPS have a habit of twisting things around
Kids do not lie about being molested for “attention”
My mom used to be a nurse and she had two brothers come in with their grandma. The older brother, 6, was saying that someone was “putting their private in bubbys but” and several other allegations of sexual abuse. The doctor examined the baby, 2, and determined that he hadn’t been abused. Then he examined the 6 year old and he was the one being abused. Children lie out of fear. If your husband is innocent, someone else is abusing your nephew.
Get copies of work schedules, keep track of what time your sister brings him over and picks him up. Good luck!
Get a lawyer ! I’m going through a battle right now
You can request to be present with your 4 year old . It’s the law
Why aren’t you believing your nephew? That would scare the shit out of me.
A lawyer can’t do anything and your not allowed in the room when yer child gets questioned as this may be a distraction and may put the child of telling the truth so they say, my 5 year was questioned not that long ago and I wasn’t happy I wasn’t allowed in the room, unfortunately hopefully he will come clean about it all and it be over with if not you have to let them do their job until they come away with an outcome to the case, I’m going through something similar to this atm so feel free to pm me, It’s horrible what’s going on but there nothing you can do unfortunately as it’s out of our hands and we just have to be there to support the kids
“attention related” even if it’s not your husband a kid doesn’t make this up. I’m assuming it’s a younger child that needs supervision still while being bathed. It’s startling that you’re accusing a child of saying it to get attention.
I have been through this the neighbor called and claimed to hear my girl being raped by her stepdad. Same thing happened no contact order. My daughter was questioned and everyone in the family turns out the neighbors daughter was a victim and my boyfriend was innocent this was not happening to my daughter. It took almost 3 weeks for it to be resolved. Its been 10 years now. I’m not sure in your case because I trust all children when they point out there aisalent. Prayers it turns out innocent and everyone’s happy again.
Legal wise you need an attorney.
Family wise you and your family need to realize that kids often accuse a ‘safe person’ when they are being molested because it allows them to tell what is going on to try and it get to stop. It usually means the real person who is abusing them threatened them or other family members if they didn’t stay quiet.
This child is likely being molested by another family member. You guys got to figure that out and keep this boy safe
Definitely get a lawyer asap. And do not allow them to talk to your child alone. You legally can be there if anyone talks to your child. There’s a good chance that child is only lying about who is doing it. So be careful on how it is addressed with him. Ask to have him evaluated for sexual abuse. Most hospitals have departments that handle it. Also record everything the worker says. Any conversation you have with them have proof of what was said. There are some workers that are shit and will twist everything to match what they want. So don’t let them be the only ones with leverage.
Things like this need to be taken serious. Even if your husband isn’t doing it. Do what they tell you at all costs. He might be confused who it is. He might have been coached. Maybe it’s someone else and he is too afraid to say and your husband was an easy target. Hope for this kids sake all will out and he will be safe if he isn’t making it up. Good luck
Kids just dont make these things up if its not ur husband its someone an he’s scared to tell who really did it. Something is goning on a child of a young age don’t know of these things unless its happing to them. Id want to know the truth an u should to love is blind an 9 times put of ten its someone u love an trust .always believe the child. An u should b asking ur children if its happing to them he is a child stand wit him or he’ll never feel like he can trust his family to help him or keep him safe.
Children dont just make stuff like this up. Especially really young children. It breaks my heart that his mother is saying it is attention related, but it also worries me. Does she maybe have suspicions of a boyfriend of hers or even the childs father? And she not want that to be pursued. Which sickens me to think of. The little boy needs to be everyone’s number 1 priority. Adults are big enough to take care of themselves. The child is not.
- LAWYER UP!!!
- Do what the baby snatchers at CPS tell you. They’re always looking to take kids to cover their asses.
- Do what the lawyer tells you.
- Get all the documentation you can - hubby’s work schedule, statements from his direct supervisor and the company, etc.
Had an issue where my son accused his step dad of molesting him. He brought it up wen he was gna have to come back home and he didn’t want to live where me and his sisters were living…me n husband were seperated due to him cheating and leaving…the times he said it happened made it very unlikely. But due to that I was placed on thr child abuse registry for leaving my son with unsuitable supervision and called it neglect…at the time he’s claiming we lived with my husbands aunt and uncle and thrre were a few others in thr house…my husband worked from 3pm to 3am and slept the rest if the time pretty much. He was never really alone with him to have opportunity to do what my son claimed. Even tho it was dropped by the law I still had to deal with the dfcs part and now listed as a child abuser. The investigator dropped it since my statement and the timing of wen my son come out with it made it unlikely my son never liked my husband and it became worse cuz of the way my husband did Me. My family disowned me claiming I chose a man over my son which was bullshit. If anything I had more reason to want to destroy my husband as most prolly would in that situation. But because of my statement telling how things were at the time my family turned their backs on me. My son who is 18 now has more to do with me even tho he knows I don’t believe him…
If it’s not true I wouldn’t worry let them do their investigation whatever they need shouldn’t have anything to worry about if all is like you say
I have know kids who do make it up just to watch the other person’s reaction he needs HELP BADDLY and if u get out of this I would never ever watch that child again or deal with the mother ever.
Get a lawyer first and foremost, document everything you can think of that can help your husband’s case. Work schedules, your nephews behavior around him, anything you can think of, believe your nephew though. It might not be your husband whose hurting him, but it could definitely be someone close to him who is, sometimes children often accuse a safe person because they’re scared and want the abuse to stop
Cooperate at all costs with the state, if you dont you could lose your children. If your husband is innocent it will come out that he’s innocent,
I was sexually abused by my grandfather and best friend and no one helped me and someone saw my grandfather grab my breast but I was told not to tell anyone,
You cant be in the room during the interview with your child because if there is abuse going on the child might be too afraid to say it in front of you, safety is all DHS cares about
I have a 3 year old girl and 2 month old boy with my hubby and he’s never given them a bath onve in their lives. Protect your family and find out what’s going on with your nephew. Polygraph sounds right
I think someone is touching him maybe got names mixed up either way cps needs to get involved and everyone needs to be checked
Someone is hurting that poor baby
Why would a child lie ab something like tht.? An if he’s still so lil to be given a bath than how would he even know ab something like tht if it didn’t happen.?
Patience is a virtue. This is going to be a hard couple weeks and I’m so sorry this happened at all, let alone over Christmas. I understand why you are upset. This threatens your entire family.
Some things to keep in mind. Both DHS and the police expect compliance. There is clearly something going on with this child. You need to express your willingness to do everything you can to help them figure this out. If they want to question the children, let them. Don’t coach the kids on what to say, just tell them that these people are here to help and they need to be completely honest. Any coaching, no matter how minor, will be detected by DHS. It is their job to figure this out.
Retain an attorney and take their advice. Just as importantly shut up when your representation is not there. Tell them that you want to help resolve this, let you call your lawyer and get them in so everyone can have a conversation.
If hes done nothing wrong… then dont worry…
You are not allowed in tge room because tge child doesnt always tell truth in front of parents… or parents can threaten child with a look…
First of all GET A LAWYER ASAP!! dhs is very sneaky … deny your kids talking to them without a lawyer or therapist present… most kids get scared sitting there talking to someone they do not know and they tend to take that fear of not wanting to talk to someone they don’t know as hiding something… Dhs is quick to tear a family apart with no remorse for the kids or anyone involved in it. You have to find a lawyer that doesn’t represent dhs (which is very few and expensive) you need to get proof of your husband’s work hours, proof the child is not alone with him any legitimate documentation you have is going to be helpful but at the same time they are going to believe the person filing the case and the child’s word vs his word and your gonna have to build a strong case against them. The last thing your husband needs is something like this on his record bc it can ruin his life… kids don’t understand the seriousness of this when they make these statements I would get with his mother to find out exactly who it is that’s done this to him bc he’s either been in this type of situation or seen it done by someone and just reflecting it onto himself
Get an attorney asap to protect you and your family. Secondly children services doesn’t have free reign over your family and home. Third is there a man in this child’s life at his mother’s home, where he sleeps?
This is brutally sad
I agree with ALOT of this. That poor baby was coached to lie but needed to tell about it. Hes hurting deeply and had to draw attention to what’s happening in some way. I know it’s hard. Please don’t blame the child after all of this, as hard as it sounds.
You need to step back and let DFS complete their investigation. No one believed my father was capable of such things and… well…
You should really talk with your children. At 4 years old that is not going to be his lie for attention. That’s serious.
Let them do their investigation. If he hasn’t done anything, you guys have nothing to worry about. Then cut every single person involved in these disgusting allegations off.
Maybe consider it to be true ? Explore all options seek legal advice as well as therapy for your child in case it isn’t just failed allegations
Find a private polygraph tester and have hubby take a polygraph. It’s usually between $300-$600. Even though they may not be 100% held up in court the results are STRONGLY considered especially before charges are made. In the mean time, follow all instructions you’ve been given because if things do go poorly you want to make sure your kids are safe, and not taken from you
So many questions, but there’s possibly abuse for another family member or close family friends. Always do as DSS ask but also seek an attorney for your husband. It’s very much possible the child is being coached to say it’s your husband or threatened to something bad will happen to him or his family if he doesn’t say it’s your husband
I hate this topic … especially when people who have never experienced this first hand have something to say…like shut the hell up !! The people we least expect can be perverts !! Can’t put nothing past anyone …
Someone could be feeding that info to your nephew to say…it happens. Also, you’re allowed to sit in the room while your kids are being asked questions. They want you to sit behind them…don’t leave the room. Positive vibes
Your family needs a lawyer. Your husband maybe innocent but I have a feeling this child is being hurt by someone close to him. Find out who’s giving him a bath at home or putting him to sleep at home or any where else. Good luck keep us posted if you can.
One thing i will tell you from experience, once they evaluate your nephew, get in touch with your police department and an investigator to review the evaluation. When my kids went with their dad for a little bit a similar situation happened and i got someone who was trained for this stuff because CPS IS NOT. Its all over the news how shady they are, all the way down to sex trafficking. They tried to take my kids away until the investigator from my local police department proved that the children were COACHED. Follow all steps they want you to take, but also protect your husband and your children as well as your nephew. Good luck. None of this is ever easy.
Also make sure investigator knows special names the child has for relatives. (For explain my stepson calls me momma too) Abuse is serious allegation and they need to know and believe everything being told
I feel for you, all will work out keep strong for you family and retain a lawyer asp
My sister did the same thing and my dad went to jail with only her word against his. Good luck!
I pray what the nephew is saying is false, but until you 100% know thats it’s false… It’s not very family like to just automatically asume your neohew is lying. At least have an open mind until you do know. Bc you’d feel awful to find out he did (as much as u don’t wanna believe it you’d be surprised sometimes) but and then your nephew woupd resent you for not being there and believing him.
Get a lawyer, or don’t, but do what is asked of you. If he’s innocent, fighting too hard against the process will look defensive and questionable. If he’s innocent and has nothing to hide, the investigation will prove so. It won’t be pleasant, but kids don’t typically know how to make those kinds of accusations unless they’ve been exposed to something they shouldn’t have been, so its likely someone needs to be found out to help this kid anyway.
Sorry but the one who raped me was a stand up guy and was a coach and was around kids 24/7. Family man with wife and kids of his own. You never know what people are capable of. Not to say kids don’t lie but Id believe a kid before any adult due to my circumstances.
prayers; stay neutral until the truth comes out. lie detector been done? Dr. Phil may be able to help.
Why in the world would a child that still needs to be bathed (so I’m assuming under the age of 6) lie about being molested?! Y’all think he’s doing it for attention?! Lying to the extent of saying he’s being touched in the bathtub and while you’re asleep?! Children lie, yes. Children do not lie in detail and in consistency with the same story…
Let there be a thorough investigation without you interrupting!
Child molesters do not come the “child molester” written across their forehead!
Why didn’t the little boy say you did it???
When a child is molested it is usually by a family member… one that no one would think is doing it… 
It takes literally 2 minutes for a child to be sexually abused. Your husband wouldn’t need much time. If he isn’t guilty, the investigation will prove that. Just pray/send good vibes into the universe/meditate/do something that helps to being you peace and focus on your child’s wellbeing.
My daughter was 5 and went through a forensic interview. Her dad was involved in two churches, was well known in town as a musician, was a stand up guy. I too had to leave him while they investigated. Two trials later and hes serving 23-47 years for what he did to her. He had 8 kids and was a good dad. No one believed her at the age of 5 until her day in court. I’m still going through emotions to this day. I ended up moving to another state with the kids to start life over since he was so well known. I’m just focusing on rebuilding life. Its been a tough road.
Ask a lawyet get a lawyer!
It’s always the ones you least expect, rarely kids lie about things like that especially at young ages something is going on possibility someone else very close to the child could be involved, but something is happening to the child, sad after events as such you no longer trust anyone around them!
you better listen to this child someone is doing something to him if not your husband someone else
A child never makes an accusation like that out of attention. He could be confused with who did it and your husbands name was brought up. Get your husband to take a lie detector test by law enforcement.
get a lawyer wether u think ur hisband is innocent or not ive thought my oldest daughters father was innocent and then he ended up doing it to other kids not just my niece its never a sure thing its eo scary cuz u want to believe the child but depending on their age u dont want to believe something that bad has really happened u will have conflicting views on it and it will mess u up to the point u become paranoid about anyone else u have around u or ur kids so my best advice is to get a lawyer and dcs is just as sneaky as everyone else dont just trust what they say get a lawyer for ur kids as well as ur husband so u know what rights u have
This pisses me off like no other. Someone is touching that child! It may not be your husband but someone is or he wouldn’t say that stuff. A child that young doesn’t come up with shit like that. Maybe listen to the poor child instead of automatically defending your husband. Automatically thinking he’s lying is pretty fucked up. This is why lots of people who are raped and molested don’t tell people. If you show him the slightest bit of doubt he won’t feel like he can tell you guys things.
Even the Devil was an angle! Don’t be so quick to think this child is lying.
I don’t trust ANYONE. somethings up may be different people but something is a miss here. How old is the nephew?
Someone could be touching him he’s just to scared to say who it really is get a lawyer good luck
How is your 4 yr old not allowed to have a legal guardian in room while being interogated?!?! That wouldnt fly with me.
Dont shut that poor kiddo down !!
Believe the child. Even if it turns out to be untrue, ALWAYS believe the child.
When it comes to a child, guilty till proven innocent.
It’s very possible that he has been touched inappropriately and he is miscommunicating who the perpetrator was or is. Cooperating is let. Often times parents and the like are not allowed in the room. This is to prevent the child being led to an answer rather than answering questions on their own words. It can totally screw an investigation. Be patient. During investigation they may discover it wasn’t your husband but a family friend, relative, or even the child being coached by someone.
I can’t believe these comments. Get a lawyer protect your family blah blah. What about this child?? If he needs bathed he is clearly young and vulnerable. Kids mix details and things up. Doesn’t mean they’re lying. ALWAYS ALWAYS believe the child over anyone. Stop trying to avoid the situation and face it head on. I feel for this child. No believes him. Everyone is siding with the person who he pointed to without a second thought as to why a child young enough to need assistance in the bath tub would be saying these things.
Your husband doesn’t need a lot of time. You can’t say you have eyes on him at all times. Two minutes. He could be in the bathroom and out. While the little one is napping he could be sneaking and doing something. There is always a way where there is a will for a pedophile. Your husband is there all day with that child and you don’t know what’s going on at all times with multiple children there. You may think he is sleeping but you just can’t say that he hasn’t done anything without any type of investigation being done. Period. Until women stop putting their husbands above children then this will continue to go unpunished. If they made your husband leave and they’re going to question the son then they clearly feel there is merit to the story.
As for your 4 year old. Request cps not interview but find someone within special victims unit at your police station conduct the interview at a child advocacy center. You don’t need to be in the room. That’s for the child’s benefit. Kids tend to keep things from their parents out of embarrassment or fear. These interviews are filmed and the child is asked in a way that they can answer without pressure. They engage them in play and sneak the questions in while playing with the kids.
A four year old can’t make something like that up. Someone is touching him somewhere and he might be confused as to who…
I doubt he is lying about being touched but he may be lying about who is doing the touching. That happens a lot. If he is too afraid to say who it actually it it may be someone closer to him then your husband. Poor kiddo. Prayers to all involved.
It’s sad to consider but let your husband go through the process of clearing his name. Also ask your children about being touched. Be unbiased. Stop focusing on protecting your husband he’s the adult here. Make sure the children are safe without a shadow of a doubt and then help your husband however you can. You sound very sure he’s innocent but you don’t actually know.