I lost my father to suicide when I was 23. In my mind I dealt with it by knowing he was sick (mentally) and had been my whole life. I didn’t have an easy upbringing because of this, but I’ve found comfort in the good memories that I have of him, and there are so many. You help yourself and your son get through this by having open lines of communication in an age appropriate manner. I would suggest counselling with a counsellor versed in working with children who can help you speak with him. And get individual counselling for yourself as well as there can be a lot of what ifs when it comes to suicide and you need to know how to work through that. My mom left my dad after 30 years in a difficult marriage with a troubled man. Guilt, grief and selfishness consumed her in a time I needed her most and it made things a lot harder. So overall, just be there for your child, let him be sad, help him to process and get the help you both need.
As someone who was that young child well done for asking for help. It’s taken me years to understand the complexity of what happened and how it’s shaped me as a person so getting help for the trauma is going to be your first step. Most of the time their response is coming from a place of learning where as adults it’s different so books can be helpful but for your son I’d say play based therapy to process it and a good trauma counsellor for you to have some tools as well. Lots of love to you x
Breaks my heart for you and your son. All I can say is take it one day at a time. Don’t blame yourself, stay close to your family. Love your son, and tell him it’s ok to cry. Praying for you and your son!
You both need counseling to help with your grief.
Dear Amanda I am so sorry for you and your children.My Heart And prayers go out to you.Do not blame your self for what Ken did.It is not your fault.You are A very good person and love your children.I know it’s hard .May God help you a and your children.through this.My Prayers And thaughts are with you.With 
love. Nanci
Awh I’m so sorry! My best thoughts to you and your baby 
I would make it a grieving process together. Support him and accept his way (as a kiddo of course) of supporting you.
Shed tears together, openly talk about it when they are comfortable etc.
I had to do this with my 13 and 4 year old. With the 13 year old I just gave him lots of extra love. He knew his dad had troubles. But with my 4 year old I had kid centered memorial service and invited supportive family and friends. We did a service, slide show and had cake and punch after. I also did a balloon release but you have to check the area you are in to see if that’s ok. I kept it as upbeat as possible. I had the attendees all write letters telling them stories and happy times shared and what he meant to them. Then I Put it in a book. I asked those coming to send or bring their favorite pic taken with him and clipped it to the letter. You might also include a pic drawn by the child of him with his dad. Art can really help them express their pain and sorrow. They need closure and they will likely get over it much faster than you. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my oldest daughter just 2 years before losing my ex. I still loved him a lot but his behaviors were endangering my children. 
I lost my dad end of last year to suicide and my 7 nearly 8 year old asked me how he died, I just told him “poppy had been sick for a long time and he couldn’t get better no matter how much he got help, sometimes people get sick and can’t get better” my son knows about mental health and how much it affects everyone differently, my son has seen me very depressed and knows sometime it gets better, my 3yr old just thinks poppy fell asleep and never woke up, but when he is older I will tell him about mental health and how his pop passed away!
I’m so very sorry for your loss, plz don’t shut out anyone and talk to ur dr about help for you both!
Mama, I’m so sorry you’re having to experience this yourself and watch your child go through it. I can’t imagine a 5 year old being able to comprehend suicide and what it entails, nor do I think those details should be shared with them. I think what you explained to your son is more than enough and the time will come when you will have to have that harder conversation. Be your son’s security during this time and most importantly, take care of yourself! Get yourself into some counseling or whatever suits your needs, but your son is going to need you more than ever now. Praying for you, mama!
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband in April my son is 9 and my daughter was 18 months at the time and it is hard. He was controlling and abusive I kicked him out last September and I still not sure how he died if it was drugs or suicide plus I have conflicting feeling towards him I cared for him I never wanted this to happen I just wanted him to get the help he needed. My son is having a hard time dealing with his father’s death I try to answer questions to the best of my knowledge
Baby boy is five he doesn’t need the details right now but I would recommend some thereby for both of you
Hello! My name is Janelle and mine completed 09/21/17 our child was 3. When my son asks me about his dad I tell him that his always with us, in our hearts and in our memories. I know you don’t wanna her this but the grief sticks around for a long while but over time you learn that this it your new life. I am so sorry for your loss and I am sending you and your family prayers 
The Brave Ladies Club this is a page for people like us. It has helped me tremendously. You are not alone, even tho it may feel like it right now.
My son was the same age when his father committed. My son cried a little bit when I told him, I’ll never forget telling him daddy went to see Jesus. For a few years he was alright and this last year he’s been emotional about it. It’ll be four years this September. Anyway, it’s gonna suck coping. You are gonna be so angry and sad sometimes because he missed out on so much. Graduating kindergarten, reading, writing, riding his bike. It’s gonna fucking suck. Your son might not show any emotion until later, but when he does I suggest therapy. They have the tools to make it easier. We also for his birthday every year throw a message in a bottle in the ocean for dad. It helps. I also suggest therapy for you as well. I’m sorry this had to happen, and you’re not alone.
They Counciling for both of you…
I lost my dad to suicide when I was 19. It’s hard. I still have no answers and I’m 65
I read about this book in another mom group I’m in. It’s a very kid appropriate approach to death and how to cope with the idea of if. I hope this helps 
I’m so sorry… U explained the best I could to a child. Leave it alone until he gets older and is able to understand. I’m so sorry… I wish I could hug u hun
Janelle Katherine Rahoi
I am so sorry and sending you so much love…
Prayers for you and your son
Prayers to you and your son
Sending healing prayers for you and your baby. I’m very sorry for your loss:pray:
Sending you lots of love and support
I am so so sorry for your and your son’s loss
I don’t know if your kiddo likes to read, but if he does maybe get a couple of these books to sit and read with him? My kiddo loves books and I know I’d never be able to explain death to him the way a story might be able to. My condolences to you, your son and all impacted. Hugs. 
(god gave us angels in specific looks like a cute little story for this topic)
I’m so so sorry mama. 
Death is a part of life. You just keep moving forward one step at a time one day at a time and be thankful that it’s not you that has died.
By keeping busy and by doing things with your child. My kids lost their dad when they were 7,6,5. You tell your child dad will always be watching you from heaven
My sons dad passed away when he was 2, he is turning 12 this week. I didn’t think it would bother him as much as it did because he was so young when he passed but it did. I eventually had to get him counseling because he was so angry and depressed all the time. Right now you just have to be strong for your son, let him see you hurt but also let him see you be happy about times shared with his dad. My son loves hearing stories about his dad. It will be 10 years this July that he has passed and I wouldn’t say time makes it better because it doesn’t, but it does get easier. There are days I still sit and cry for hours then there are days when I see reminders of him with me everywhere. My son looks for red birds/ cardinals because we have always been taught that they are loved ones coming down from heaven, even at almost 12 years old his face lights up when he sees one and he will always say, there’s my dad checking on me. Prayers for strength, peace, and comfort
Not sure how to help but so sorry and sending strong vibes to help you thru this tragedy. Maybe some counseling would help.
My exs best friend did this when his son was only around 5 also. There’s honestly nothing that we found that fills that void. Just be there for your baby. And let your baby be there for you too. Kids may be small but they are so much more intuitive than we give them credit for. I don’t know you, but I love you momma hang in there
There will be some good days, probably a lot of bad ones.
Send balloons to him in heaven with your message to him written on it. It helps a little bit
My deepest condolences. Only time will be your teacher
I’m so sorry for your loss. It will take time to heal and you’ll need to go through the grieving process together.
I’m so sorry , my prayers are with you and a big hug to you both
Just remind him how much his daddy loved you both and let him know that he’s with you in spirit and you will both see him again one day… After u have lived a long and happy life… I wish u both the best and I ask God to wrap his arms around you both and give you comfort…
I am so so sorry for both of your losses… counseling for both of you would be a good start. And to always remember him and talk about him and still celebrate him. Take it one day at a time. I could only imagine the waves of emotions you both will go through together but also let him know grieving a loved one has no time limit. Hope the best for you two.
Oh Amanda, I wish I was there to put my arms around you and Austin. I love you guys so much .
I have been through exactly the same situation last year with my son. You have a tough road ahead, there will be good and bad days for both of you but he will just need your love and support and maybe a little extra. It’s a huge role to now have to play mum and dad yourself especially with a little boy, but things will be okay. I found my boy was okay and didn’t really fully understand I don’t think until a few weeks went by and he realised there was no seeing dad anymore, that’s when it got a bit tough but all you can do is be there for him, let him deal with his dads death in his way, remind him of the good memories and give him a picture of his dad to keep with him… Does he have a school chaplain? If not maybe looks into a children’s counsellor, even a counsellor for yourself, they do wonders.
Stay Strong, you got this
I’m so sorry for your loss! Lots of love and prayers your way.
Take one day at a time. Look into a grievance counselor for the both of you. This is going to be a huge adjustment. Always allow your child to express the feelings he is feeling. It’s going to hurt your feelings when he brings up his daddy. But allowing him to express himself to you will
Create a good foundation for
Him to realize that it’s okay to miss his daddy and it’s okay to cry sometimes. But always encourage him to remember the good
Times!! When he is old enough, talk about suicide and suicide prevention. You will never know why his daddy felt that suicide was his only
Option but you can keep an open dialog for your son to talk about it and talk about his feelings.
Again, I’m so sorry for your loss! Don’t ever hesitate to ask for help or ask to talk to someone. There are all Kinda of resources out there. Prayers and love:heart:
I don’t even know what to say sweetheart, but I’m sending you and your son loving thoughts. Stay strong, reach out to friends and family. We’re all sending you both hugs
Been through this situation myself the best advice is take it min by min then hour by hour allow yourself to feel the pain talk about the good in him with your son remember too do this my daughter still finds it comforting she’s 12 now her dad past at 5 it hurts but it worth it let your son greave in his own way we are all different it will make you so strong in every way sorry for your lose xx
There are many different kinds of grieving therapy. I would definitely suggest that for you and your son. My steps daughter’s half sister committed suicide in 2019 and she has been going to art grieving therapy ever since. It has helped tremendously.
We tried shielding our children from the truth. However kids are cruel and started bullying my step daughter because their parents were telling their kids that she was going to hell. My step daughter is now 13.
Firstly, I am so so very sorry. My brother also committed suicide. I told my daughter that Uncle Kevin was sick and passed away and went to heaven. He is an angel now I said. I wouldn’t mention suicide AT ALL!!!
My son lost his father to suicide in May.
honey 
i’m so so sorry.
I wouldn’t tell your child now, just because he wouldn’t understand & it may traumatize him. I would just let him remember his dad the way he was, and never let him forget that he loved him so much.
Been thru it in our family my Uncle & cousin
Get counseling. Sorry for your loss.
I went through this back in 2017. At the time my kids were 5 and 2. You are right to feel the need to let your child know what happened. Right now is perfectly understandable to just say he his no longer with us. My oldest does know how it happened now.
Just remember, no matter what anyone tells you, you have the right to scream, be angry, cry. Doesn’t matter if y’all were together or not. He was still the father of your child. I’m praying for you momma. It’s hard but you got this!
I am dealing with this same thing. My son is 6 but he lost his father last July. We weren’t together for a few years now but it still hurt when he passed. It will get easier as time goes on but I can relate 100% with what you’re going through right now. Have an open ear for your son when he has questions or wants to talk about it. Try to keep him alive through memories. My son got some of his father’s belongings to have a piece of him here with him. It does get easier, I promise. Stay strong Mama. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Don’t have advice. But just wanted to say how truly sorry I am. Lean on anyone that you have around that is offering to help
Get him 2 a counsoler asap. Im so sorry this has happened
See a family therapists and spend time talking about all the fun happy memories . Sometimes even the sad ones
U did a good job. Youll be what he needs. Stay strong.
Prayers for you and your family…
I know exactly how you feel. My ex husband and I were divorced but still cared for one another. My son was 8 when I got the call his father died. I was in shock. I right away called the church and told the priest then called a neighbor to walk over with my son to the church. The priest told my son, "I would have never known how to. ". I give you a lot of credit. You also told your son the truth. Depression is a sickness. That was good thinking. It also took years for me to get over my ex. That was 42 years ago the world has changed a lot since than. My son became the man of the house he worried about me because I was all he had. I’m sure your son will do the same. Just make sure he knows that he’s #1. Good luck honey.
My daughter’s father passed away almost three years ago. She is now six. I’ve never kept it from her. We talk about him all the time. I tell her stories of him. We look at pictures. We go to the cemetery. We bring lunch to the cemetery. She likes to pick out decorations and decorate his stone. We talk to him. We cry. We laugh. We love. We have sad moments quite often. I have made sure that she knows it’s ok to be sad and to be emotional.
I don’t know that bringing him to a therapist would help. It might scare him and make him feel singled out All I told my daughter is that he fell asleep and didn’t wake up. And that’s fine for now. Don’t stress about him knowing the details. When he reaches the age that he starts asking questions, that’s when you can tell him, or that’s when I would tell him.
It’s though, momma! But you and your sons relationship will get you both through this. Sending you and your son both love!
I’m so sorry for your loss. I suggest connecting with Dani Bates or reading their story. She and her daughters have been healing from the aftermath for the past 2 years.
So very sorry for you and your sons loss maybe counseling. 
My Uncle did this and left 2 kids and his third one on the way. The best thing is to try and get to a therapist as soon as you can. Wishing you all the best
I just want to say I’m sorry for your loss. I think there are support groups for families of suicide victims which would help you even if you weren’t still together.
So sorry for your loss,
Sending prayers for you and your son
Be as honest as possible and make sure you always mention him because it might hurt but it also makes him feel a lot better . When you pretend nothing happened it only makes it worse for you both … so sorry for your loss I couldn’t imagine!
Prayers for. God’s help
I was a little older when my dad committed suicide 12 but one thing I can tell you is the truth needs to come from you don’t let your baby be heart broken all over again because you weren’t the one to tell him the truth like I was I still have a hard time with my relationship with my mom because ei felt so betrayed and lied to things are a little better now that I’m an adult but it was a long road rebuilding that relationship
I ll simply say, I ll pray for you that God will comfort you through this terrible time .
Get grief counselling it will really help and get grief counselling through the school or CAMHS for your son xx
You could get him a teddy bear made or buy a teddy bear and sew a piece of his dad’s clothing to it and tell him when he misses daddy to give the bear a hug or something similar to that!
All I can say is just take it one day at a time know that you didn’t do anything to make this happen that sometimes people have a chemical imbalance and they we’re born that way it’s not their fault either. Children are amazing they can take death better than we can. I’m sorry about your loss and I hope that pray that everything in your life works itself out. God bless you and I’ll give you my prayers my 20 year old son was just murdered so I understand how it feels to lose someone you love
Trust in God he will help you and your boy
Take him to a child therapist. He will need help to avoid a fear of loss etc
Prayers to u and your son…
I went through the same thing on May 21, 1999. My husband did the same thing, only he did it in front of me. Thank goodness our son was at my mother and father’s house at the time and wasn’t witness to it all. I had terrible nightmares for months after that, reliving and replayng it all over and over in my mind. Our son was a junior in high school when this happened, so he was pretty much an adult. I really don’t know how I kept it together, I just knew I had no choice, I had to be strong for our son’s sake. My husband had an alcohol and drug problem, which led to his decision to commit this suicide, I tried so hard to talk him into seeking help, therapy, rehab, whatever it took, I offered to go with him, but nothing worked. He was in and out of jail often for DUI charges. Suicide hurts the ones that are left behind the most, it’s devastating to the whole family. Only with lots of time and prayers did we get through.
I don’t have any advice to give. But just want to send some love your way:heart:
you and your son will be in my prayers tonight. You will both get through this:heart:
My stepfather committed suicide when I was in high school and my 2 youngest sisters were only about 5 and 6. My mom had me and my sister ride the school bus home so I knew something was up (I had afterschool practices everyday). Once we were home she got our 2 youngest sisters and told them that Daddy was in Heaven and he was happy. She didn’t tell them until they were old enough to ask what happened themselves (about 12 and 13). You know your son and how your family is with sad/stressful situations better than anyone who can give you advice so just follow your gut. It sounds like you’ve done pretty well so far and, from personal experience, I am sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss I’m sending prayers your way.
I think you did good explaining to your son that his dad isn’t around anymore, I don’t know if I would say anything about the suicide part until he’s much older though. As far as coping, I can’t relate to your situation but only time will make it feel better. I’m so sorry this happened to you 
Prayers to you and your family,call on God to give you strength and guide you, God bless you and your family.