Trying to give my son a better life

I got with a guy when my son was like 6months old my mom kicked my son and I out we moved in with bf and his family things happened we moved with his other family things got a little better. Our relationship was okay I guess. I loved him trying to make it work him cheating and other stuff. Accusing me of cheating lying being a hoe a b**** s*** every name under the sun. He keeps getting worse today we pull into store after I took him to job interview because he doesn’t drive. His aunt that doesn’t like me calls says he has to come over now. I had a whole list today because we were both off this morning. I ended up not getting anything done. So I got nothing done and he made me late for work. I texted his aunt to say I had shit to do today and that bf wouldn’t tell her the truth. Yet I’m the bitch and I’m wrong. He says he wants to be my sons dad because he’s not in picture but yet has nothing to do with my son. He only watches him while I work because he’s “required” to and he goes against everything I say. He lies about everything and let’s the kid do all sorts of shit he shouldn’t but yet one time he does something bad with me he never drops it.Boyfriend is a manipulative controlling narcissistic ass I know this. Why do I feel like it’s my fault I get treated like this… I’ve tried everything to make our relationship work I’m not sure what to do I have an opportunity to move somewhere with help of a friend out of state but I’m kinda scared for my son and I safety from some threats he’s made… I’m so lost and my sons only 3yrs old and special needs and I feel like he won’t understand and be mad at me for trying to give him a better life.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Trying to give my son a better life

You need to think of safety for your son. Wish you had family to help you. :pray::pray:

You need to leave for your son’s sake. It’s situations like these where you see innocent children being harmed or murdered. Like being called a h** or b**** wasn’t enough. LEAVE ASAP

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You feel that way because he gaslights you. He isn’t his dad, he just wants the title because the title comes with respect. He probably has his whole family convinced you’re a crappy mom and he’s a great hands on daddy to a kid that’s not his. He wants that pat on the back for stepping up as daddy. You know what you have to do. If he’s threatening you tell the police and get a protection order. Don’t let him know where you’re going. Watch which friends you trust. Your son is only 3 he won’t remember. Start a new life with your baby and be free and happy away from the abuse. He deserves a happy mommy not a miserable mommy who puts up with the bs some boyfriend comes up with. Run!

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You will be happy that you left when you did!

Leave mama take that baby and run like hell…

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Girl I only got through like half of this. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him.

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I would be mad at you for not trying to give him a better life

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You have a chance it a wonderful life. Take it! Go!!! Please go!!!

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That is not a better life for you and your son. You can have the best life being single also. You might be having low self esteem issues…please love yourself and move for the sake of your child’s sanity.

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Your son won’t remember any of this if you leave now. You’re not going to have a good life with that guy. Pack what you can in your car and take off the next time you get paid and don’t look back.

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Take your opportunity and move seriously. He’s not the child’s father so he has no legal rights whatsoever. And the minute you get on the road to move block his number then delete it and block him on everything from texts to social media etc. do not stay with this guy. Don’t do it for yourself but you and your child. Your child doesn’t deserve that toxic environment trust me.

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Get out while you still can.
If you think this will get better, it WON’T.

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Go. Now. Take your son and go.

Leave now. If you want to do right by your son leaving would be the best decision you can make.

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Leave that man right there at his auntie house, if your son has special needs most states will cover child care so he can receive therapy and services please contact your local dss office to find out what programs they have that can help you and also find out about housing some places have emergency housing

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Leave now. Your son will thank you for leaving and making a better life for him stop making excuses. You have already made up your mind just get your stuff and leave with the friend immediately.

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You need to get out now. That whole situation screams toxic. You and your son deserve so much better.

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It is your fault you are treated this was. Leave. Get you and your son away from this low life creature now. Have him put under a restraining order. Report it to the law enforcement that he threatens something to happen to your child.Get everything documented. Get to that other State with your friend. Don’t breathe a word if your plans to this nit wit. Please get out now before something happens that you will regret for the rest if your life.

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Jesus take the wheel. All these people cohabitating with family moms dads cousins aunts- if you are a couple in a relationship with a kid you belong in your own place with your own job, doing your own thing! There should never be “mom says this or dad or in laws or anything! Leave - get a job, get a place and make it work for YOU. Go to a shelter until these things fall in place . You are probably supporting this idiot too- which is why it will never work

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Leave. Let the Police know near your boyfriend that you are about to leave your partner. They will do a welfare check to make sure you are okay and also may help you pack your things while he is there/out. Tell family and friends that you are leaving him and that he has threatened you and your son that way they know to be on the look out if he calls them and also they know where you are staying.

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For your son and your sake take this opportunity to get out. This man is using your son to try and keep you where you are. If he love you both he would treat you with respect. Get out now while you can

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Get out now before you have a kid with him! I know he is the first thing you ran to after your baby Daddy but you have to get out. This is a toxic relationship. He is toxic. It will have long term affects on your son. I would move out of state and be near your friend! I did it Girl. I am a single Mom and with the help of my friends I got out and moved to another state with my daughter. I was in a toxic situation, I am a single Mom too. I know it’s hard but you should do it. It was the best decision I made. And it can be yours too and you will feel more independent. Go for it girl. Who knows you may find an even better guy who doesn’t keep you wondering. Me I am not looking and if a good guy happens in my future then cool. If not then at least I made good decisions for my daughter and I. I know you don’t know me but I believe in you. Better days are ahead. Just believe in yourself. You can accomplish anything you want and you don’t need a man! Good luck to you! But get out of that toxicity! Go be for you and your son and find yourself again! :hugs::heart::star_struck:

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Huni you just need too leave, he is toxi. If he cared or had any respect for you he wouldn’t be the way he is. It will be hard at first but you will adjust and it will become easier. Not only you but your baby deserves more!

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Best to leave don’t ever let this continue you and your son deserve better

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Leave he is toxic,
Protect your child,he is not going to follow you to another state :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

You sound like you kinda have your shit together. Pack you & your son up & go live with your friend that offered to help you. Once you do block EVERYONE thats associated with his “lame ass” DO NOT LET HIM KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. He is weighing you down & toxic. You Got this GF :muscle:

Girl…read this to yourself. What the heck?

OMG What do you care what other people think of your choices! Your son is 3, you need to make the best decisions for him, He’s 3! Please get it together, at least for him!

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This is not a good man you need to get out and work on just being with yourself. Your kids doesn’t need to live your bad relationship.

Definitely leave. Please before it’s too late. You and your baby deserve so much better than that pile of crap.

I wouldn’t even leave my son with him smh

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You have to do what is best for you and your child. That man only wants you there to keep using you. Get out soon as you can. Will be much better without him. He isn’t your kid’s dad and is using wanting to be as an excuse to keep you around and keep using you.

I hope this friend that you are running to isn’t another relationship. I ABSOLUTELY believe that you need to get your child and go. I just hope it’s a family member/ good friend that you’ve known a longtime.

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You need to move out sound like he not good fish . Please run do not look back .

Ummm….yeah, I stayed too long in certain relationships when I was younger, but only like 2-3 years until I found my bf today. Been together over 9 years now. He treats my daughter like his own and he has two bio’s, we have none together, as I’ve had my tubes tied. Anyway if he’s that way, probably best to get out, but I’d never leave my child alone with someone you’ve described. If he can be that way to you, how is he when he’s with your child, unsupervised??

You know what you need to do hunni, you just need us to say that you are strong enough to do, you’ve got this!!!

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You must be young both of you You have to grow up or this will go on and on and on. Do you want that leave when it’s safe to work at being alone with your child there must be places for special needs children for child care don’t date for a while you need to grow up a bit when you feel stable then date take it slow

Get out. Leave. Take the opportunity to make a clean start. Then work on urself. He is toxic and the emotional damage hs got u questioning and blaming urself. Leave. For the sake of ur child. That man isnt woth it.

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Girl read this outloud to yourself…he’s a narcissist. They are extremely hard to be in a relationship with. Love yourself and your son enough to get out of that relationship

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Your child is too young to understand so him being “mad at you” for leaving shouldn’t matter because you are doing what is best for him. Your boyfriend sounds like a complete piece of shit and you shouldn’t make excuses for him. He’s showing you through and through his true colors. What else are you waiting for? Leave him for the sake of your mental health, your happiness, and most especially, for your child. You both deserve better.

Better leave now your son is not going to remember him

You can’t be serious? Get the f out if not for yourself get out for your kid!

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Time to pack up and go especially if you can get outta state from him and if he’s making threats get a restraining order in the new county you will be in your son isn’t gonna be mad with you if you leave that’s helping him to have a better life and you one at the same time I say take that chance and haul your A$$ just as quick as you can you already have the help you need waiting don’t give him no more of your time or attention God will pull you through it just slowly start getting stuff you don’t wanna make it to noticeable that you are leaving unless he isn’t in the house don’t say anything to anyone that’s gonna relay messages back to him of what you are doing and once you get that opportunity take it head on and go to live your life the way you deserve instead of living like this i promise your boy is gonna be okay might take some time to adjust but I’m pretty sure he would much rather have a happy mom than one who has to walk on eggshells dang sure don’t let him be the father figure to your son that’s only gonna teach him that’s how you treat woman by the way he treats you and you don’t won’t your son to be anything like him kids are sponges and they take in every lil thing even stuff you wouldn’t think they knew about they know so why your son is still lil get him outta that unhealthy environment and him being special needs he doesn’t need that stuff around him good luck you got this​:pray::pray:

Best to go, you’re letting yourself and your son be victimized. Leave .

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Your 3yr old is not going to be angry for long for you moving out. But, there’s a chance of him being angry for longer if you stay.

Your esteem will be very low. But trust me, and the others messaging you, when we say… You’ll feel so much better once youve gone. It’ll take a while to settle in and sort everything out, but you will be better off. You’ll look back and wonder why you stayed so long.

Stay strong and get yourself and bubba to a safe place from toxic people. X

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If you’ve tried everything and it’s not working then you’ve kinda answered you own question. There’s nothing left to try, nothing left to do. There’s nothing there. Leave!! He doesn’t deserve you and is using you and taking the piss!! Pack up and just go

do what you think is best for you in your son that is stay or go but what ever you choose good luck god bless you whatever you choose

Leave. Stay single for awhile, work, get yourself together and work on you.

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He can’t even drive he sounds lazy how will he even live up to his threats? But get a protection order and leave sweetheart, he’s not worth it

Move out move away .get better for you and your son . Get away from that kind of misery . You need to stay single and find yourself and your own strengths for you and your son and you will have a healthy life . You deserve a man not a boy someday but for now just be you and your son . Make that move now even if it’s quick .

Run. Fast. Leave when he’s at work and block all contact. Or you’re just gonna waste years of your life and either get to depressed to leave or by the time you leave have wasted so much time and be filled with regret.

Stop jumping into relationships, be on your own with your son.

Find a women’s help house in your area.

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Is this cycle of abuse what you want to teach your son? Because that is what he will learn…pull up your big girl underwear and get you and your child out of this situation…and leave this guy in the dust…

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So leave…… your son knows no better. Your the adult and you make the decisions. Your doing it to better your life and your sons life. I’d move.

Also as for his threats - don’t tell him what your new address or even what state it’s going to be in or anything.

Your son is 3 and chances are he won’t even remember this guy you are with now. You need to leave now before your son does get old enough to remember what is going on. Take up the help you can get out of state and start fresh and new. You don’t have to tell your current boyfriend where your going ,just pack your stuff while he is at work and leave. If you are concerned your boyfriend will follow through with threats then get a restraining order, however he will have to find you before he can follow through with whatever has been said. Best of luck to you.

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Sweetie, you cannot be worried about your son being mad at you for trying to give him a better life. Think of it this way… You don’t move, he has a miserable life because of the way your boyfriend is, or you do move and your son has a better life, which is better? You have an opportunity to get out, and you need to do it, that’s just my opinion. Thanks with your boyfriend are not going to change trust me on that. Your boyfriend doesn’t drive he’s abusive to you, and it sounds like he’s very dependent on his family among other things, the best thing for you to do right now is to take the opportunity to get your son away from this guy. And I don’t want to sound mean but the truth is, your son will likely end up acting just like him if you stay, and I know you wouldn’t want that by the sounds of it.

Save up and move out. Apply for any form of help u can get and get your baby in day care that’s not a good environment

Your son over time won’t remember him. Move now and far. You deserve better

Why would you put your son in this situation. Sort yourself out !

Y’all really let these boys call your outta your name & you stay? :woman_facepalming:

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Get outta there. You’re sons only 3, he won’t remember him. If you stay your son will have a worse life.
My son hasn’t seen his father since he was 3 & doesn’t remember him at all. He’s 11 now & perfectly fine.

You need to get out of there, especially if something seriously does happen to you like if he comes very abusive, or your son, it to me kinda sounds scary. I couldn’t do that. I would have already left and make a better life style.

Plus you said you can move somewhere else, this is your chance.

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Get out NOW. You will never get anywhere with a narcissist.

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Get out lady if you stay with this man and as you’re son grows this is what you and your husband are teaching him that its ok for a man to treat a woman and that you as woman are ok that your mentally and emotionally abused how long before the physical abuse starts the physical abuse heals but the mentally and emotionally abuse has everlasting scares that will stick not only with you but also with your son if I were you I wouldn’t walk away shit I would be running away with my son right next to me good luck prayers that you do what is right for you and your child

What you waiting for??
Leave today with your son being the reason. He no longer needs to be exposed

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Pray. Pray. Pray. Then get up and make moves. Don’t continue to be used and abused. And remember this if nothing else, You should not be sorry to lose someone who is not grateful to have you in their life

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I got a guy… sounds like you won a prize. I suggest learning to love yourself more first before entering a relationship… your relationship troubles will not end until you do and your child will learn how to be in a relationship by the way yours is…you both deserve you loving yourself more. :pray:

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Everyone says leave but where tf is she supposed to go? She was kicked out by her mom. Maybe relatives that you could stay with for a while?

Girl get out , you’re just showing your child how to treat women the wrong way . Grow up think about your child and not yourself .

Get out of their while he’s at work, move!!! You and your son do not deserve this. Prayers and hugs.

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He’s young make the move now he won’t remember

Don’t fixate on the reasons that make you scared to leave!

Fixate on the reasons not to stay!

I’d be super careful
with that guy watching your special needs son! My heart is in fear for him. If he treats you badly, how do you think he treats your son when your not around?

There are SO many resources today for help! Utilize them! Your in a DV situation. It’s getting worse. Get out and head to a shelter. It’s temporary! Your son won’t even remember these times! Do it now! While he’s still so young!!

Don’t let this guys behaviors become your sons! And save you both!

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Get out and move on. If you have someone willing to help go with them. Your son is too young and won’t remember him. You need to do what’s best for you and your son. If he puts any threats or anything in a text save them because you may need them to press charges against him. Don’t tell him your leaving because odds are he will try to stop you or play the pitty game and make you feel sorry for him. That’s not what you need. You have a son to think about and he is your main priority. The sooner you get out the better. Esp if he shows any signs of being abusive. It’s not going to be easy but you can’t make excuses for him anymore. Put your son first.

Your son is only three he won’t think that far. You gotta do what’s best for you. Cause if you not right your son won’t be right.

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It’s not your fault you get treated like this. Jt IS your fault if you continue to stay for it. It will break your sons heart now, but in the long run he will be okay. Get out now.
My mom left my birth father when I was 3. I don’t remember him. At. All. Now is the time, mama.

Why are you even staying with this man sounds like an awful toxic relationship sorry but kids come first and he’s clearly not a good person time to leave

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If your son is special needs and living in that type of environment then you owe it to him to leave! Irregardless of his disability… That doesn’t sound like the kind of environment that’s healthy for a child. Start over and make a better life for you and your child.

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How is that even a better life?

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You know exactly what u have to do as you have clearly said it in your post… don’t settle and be treated like crap by anyone! get your son an leave his selfish ass

Go NOW!!! Your son is young enough at this point he won’t remember much. If you continue to stay it will only hurt your son more in the long run!! You and him deserve better. Take the help!! You have seen the writing on the wall. This situation will definitely not get any better, it will either stay the same (which is bad) or it will get much worse. This is your chance to take a stand for yourself and baby. GO ASAP!!!

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Agree , u know the relationship is bad yet u stay . Think of your child , do what’s best for you and your kid. [email protected]@ what others think .

Go honey, you need to.

Leave now. Sons 3 he’s getting over the change better than when older. And the situation sounds dangerous and full of so much toxicity.

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Yeah you need to leave now.

Grab your son and haul ass!

Get to a domestic violence shelter. They can help you in so many ways. Get on state assistance you can get free daycare. You can do it all by yourself :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: hugs

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If you don’t feel safe while trying to pack up and leave you can call the local police department to have someone come out and make sure nothing happens. :heart:

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Your son is the reason TO leave

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If he’s not the father then what has he got to do with you leaving
Do what is best for YOUR child.

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You already know why your being treated the way you are. You said he is a narccist and you have allowed him to have control. Since you are working leave him and find someone to babysit your son. The arrangement your in will end up with you emotionally down to the ground and possibly physically abused. In addition to you you are allowing your son to be emotionally abused just by being in that environment.

You need to get away from that boyfriend and get your son safe I don’t know how women can get with someone and only be with them for a couple months and then trust them with their kids, it’s a scary world we live in and sadly that’s how a lot of children get killed by manipulative narcissistic boyfriend of most women it’s a sad and terrible thing. If I was you I’d run

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Leave. You can get assistance with housing for being a single mom and assistance with daycare for being a single mom.

You definitely need to leave. If you have to take him to work then call in to your job and leave while he’s at work. Do whatever you have to in order to get you and your son out safely. Even if that means leaving everything other than what you can fit in a duffle bag behind. It’s all just things and things can be replaced. Prayers

Girl GTFO of that mess. Go out of state

Just leave now that u actually have an opportunity to do so… he won’t follow through on his threats…over there u won’t be alone…he says that to scare u n keep u there

You need to go and fast. He doesn’t drive. So send him away for the day and go! Just pack what is essential and go.

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