Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Visitations aren't going well
Go to court and tell judge everything n have your grandma testify on how the visits were. Get a lawyer if possible. Keep fighting for your child
you don’t “have to” approve her at all. Tell him no, it will remain the way it is. If he has a problem with that tell him to take you to court
Just say you don’t approve her then🤷♀️
First of all u are by no means wrong for wanting to meet her I mean all parents should be able to meet who there child or children are going to be around regardless . This is just my opinion . I’d meet him the guy n his mom before id decide . Just saying …
do not agree to any change until ur comfortable. ur child don’t kno this person . he would be assed out bc i wouldn’t change anything!
Don’t approve her. Duh
My child would not be going at all. Nope!! He can’t even demonstrate taking care of the child when he was over with your mother. Could you imagine a whole day?? Hell, no!!
That would be a big, resounding hell no. Go back to the courts, tell them everything, get grandma to go or somehow testify regarding how the visits were. Don’t just give in. I wouldnt approve of any sort of changes.
I would simply say no. You guys agreed upon your grandmother being the supervisor and it should stay that way.
You don’t have to approve any one you don’t know or trust if he keeps it up have a court appointed supervisor that he’ll have to pay hourly
Sounds like he’s trying to be shady and possibly take the kid. Don’t approve a new person. If he wants to fight then he can take you to court. Also have grandma ready to testify to what she had seen while supervising. Keep it strictly to the timeframes she was supervising so it doesn’t seem like she is bad mouthing him
Go to court, show any proof you can of him not changing pull ups, not taking to potty…all that is a form of neglect. Also let them know about the other man being unfit for his own kids let alone yours and that you and your child don’t know the woman therefore you don’t approve. If he can’t care for kiddo for the time he has now he doesn’t need kiddo more.
He either sees y’all’s child on YOUR terms and the COURTS terms or he doesn’t see him at all, period, end of discussion. As for his neglect while visiting with him, have the current supervisor (grandma) note down everything on paper with the date’s/times and what the instances were during that visit. It has to be documented. Then go back to court and let the judge know everything. Don’t agree to anyone supervising your son unless you know them or a judge puts visitation at a public center for visitation etc.
No! Trust your gut! If he doesn’t like your grandmother doing it he is more than welcome to go to the court ordered place that they have for stuff like this instead of being at the house or play ground or whatever
Call the cops and find out how the law works in your area and see if u need a lawyer to protect your child
This is heartbreaking. The truth is you don’t get the luxury of meeting all who come into his world from the dads side . I just hope the dad steps up when it’s his time to be with the boy. So sorry that happened.
Also as a mom we change n feed on a schedule, the dad doesn’t know the schedule and it’s not hidering his growing not eatting for 3 hrs , the dirty pull-up I hope doesn’t become regular. good luck.
Please take him back to court. Keep fighting.
You don’t approve her. That’s it
Do not approve! You are not overreacting! Make him take you to court.
Hell no! that’s a disaster waiting to happen for that baby…keep messages everything you have i would even have your grandma try and get a recording how he acts during visits…proof that the other guy doesnt have his kids ANY AND EVERYTHING you can get to back yourself up and hire a lawyer if you dont already have one I would absolutely not let them 3 be alone with your baby they sound like very irresponsible people and any thing could happen
To be fair, you will need his approval to have , your and his son around, that includes boyfriends…he shouldn’t need your approval. The approval of the court yes but not yours. You are tying to control who he has his son with
By his logic he could bring in Hanibal Lector, or Jeffery Epstein for supervisors and you should still sign off on it if he insists its ok, protect your child and make any personal changes be approved by the court
If he can’t take him to the bathroom then take it to court same with her don’t approve it.
Mumma knows best, trust your Gut
You are not over reacting, you are putting your child first. Good for you!!!
Do not approve. Hell fight him for full custody of you have to
You are not over reacting , make him take you back to court to have it approved by them
do not agree to this
Have the court appoint a third party, licensed supervisor agency and see how he likes that.
He really is that insane …
You will regret it if you don’t do your investigation and contact dss.
He won’t get approved if he lost his kids.
I’d ask for a court appointed supervisor.
I definitely wouldn’t approve. My kid wouldn’t be going with anyone he (kid) doesn’t know and trust.
You need a third party supervisor cause he actually g crazy and besides you don’t want your mother in danger from him
He sounds like a lunatic. I’m not approving anyone to supervise my child that I don’t know first hand. All his mess sounds shady. Don’t do it.
Document this document everything and go back to court have your grandma use a video camera or a phone or something or you set one up take him back to court
His People Sound Shady
Do not let this happen! Tell him no.
Do everything thru the court, he will not get his visitation changed for at least 6 months to a year.
Whoa, this dude sounds several cards short of a full deck. Spite and malice is not a good parenting style. Fight it any way you can.
Insane. Protect your child at all costs.
Get it back to court… my answer to that one would be nope but if she passed court and dbs checks, thorough assessments etc it may be a different matter. However, like others have suggested use a third party licensed supervising agency or, I don’t know if this is possible in your area, but children centres are often a good place for contact to happen.
He’s that insane. Never leave your son with someone like,that
Do not approve. I would suggest getting someone neither of you know like a court appointed supervisor.
Do not do it!!! He doesn’t get to control you or your child. He wants full control over it all and he doesn’t deserve that. You don’t know this person. He can’t even feed or change your child. It’s not about him it’s about what’s best for your child. Put it this way, if you have any doubt about any situation, it’s a no.
Yeeeaaahhh, he’s really that insane. I’d go with a third party. And how is he going to have that child all day long if he doesn’t let him potty? God forbid the baby has to poop and he has to go and wipe him. Visitation isn’t all fun and games. It’s about parenting that child for the amount of time you have them for…which includes bonding AND making sure their needs are met. Wow…insane.
Ur mom gut is telling u no so go with it! U are obviously the only adult mature enuf to make proper decisions when it comes to ur children as it sounds like they’ve all had theirs revoked… they didn’t loose the right to make decisions due to making good ones so do what u feel is best for ur child and tell dad and his ppl to go the hell on! Stand ur ground momma, yeah he may be dad but so far dads not gaf so u need to do the same and tell him to contact his attorney… u got this momma just keep ur head up and always make the decision thats best for ur littles, dads a grown ass man and will get over it in time and realize u done what was best for ur child not what was best for dad…
Back to court. The fact that he wants his random friend and his mother who hasn’t met the boy to be a supervisor seriously shows just how much he doesn’t care for the child’s best interests. Also if he refuses to feed or change, that means he’s ok with a stranger helping with pull ups and toilet time. Big fuck no, sorry for swearing but all this is unsettling. Poor boy needs to feel safe on these visits, not unsure of the people/surroundings
Do not approve!!! Before he can even have that switch, the case worker must do proper screening first. They must be able to pass. So do not approve and request for background and livescan in order to be approved
Don’t allow it. Get someone that will document everything. Not family, use an outside source. Not taking care of the child is ridiculous!
Don’t agree on the woman or man
And take it back to court
No way. Do not approve. He could take your son and leave!!!
Don’t approve her. No approve supervisor = no supervised visits. Tell him there is already an established approved supervisor and if he doesn’t like it then you can go back to court. Stand your ground if not for yourself then For your baby.
Oh hell no! Back to court or lawyer I’d go.
That would be a very CLEAR no for me! Supervised by only someone who can be trusted with child, like grandma!
Do not agree!!! Simple as… ur child’s safety and well being comes first… he has already proved he doesn’t think that… do not let him bully u
NOPE NOPE NOPE.
GO THRU THE COURTS. It’s either YOU, someone you & your child know comfortably, or the court appoints someone. Also keep photos & statements of how the child is or is not being cared for during visits.
Do not waiver, at all. Your child is going to have a very hard time with this emotionally & will need your strength even more than a normal 3 year old. Fight loud & clear for his emotional and physical well being.
Don’t approve… you do, in fact, need to know contact info… in case of emergency…
Sounds sketchy as hell… 3rd party would be best if supe had to be changed… they can and will document everything and since their 3rd party they have unbiased opinion and will be seen better in court
Nope continue doing what your doing! He needs to earn that right
Talk to your lawyer. About this
Sounds like you need to go back to court to have it in paper who these supervised visits are with
Don’t approve her end of story
I would NOT agree to supervision by anyone I don’t know! Unless DHR/CPS/ or whatever is in your area can assign one of their social workers!
Pfft definitely not, and part of parenting is feeding, changing diapers etc if he can’t do that then he isnt fit to properly take care of him.
Go back to court and have the court appoint a third party, like a child advocate or something.
Normally id say the best interests of the child are to see both parents…
In this case I say no. The best interests of the child are best served by cutting all ties with the father.
What kind of person refuses to feed and change a little one .
I wouldn’t approve and I absolutely wouldn’t feel bad about that decision if I were you. There’s a reason for supervised only visits. It seems as he is trying to gain control of a situation that he currently does not have control of. It’s a power move, seeing if he can bully you into doing what he wants. Also please keep a record of all incidents no matter how mundane they may seem. It’s doubtful he will actually take you to court but in the event that he actually does it’s best to have everything documented. Good luck
Request a third party professional. If he wants visitation he can pay for the professional. In addition when I used to do supervised visits if a parent was not feeding the child or changing the diaper or Pull-Ups then that is a huge red flag that I made sure to put in the visitation notes. That is symptomatic of neglect.
I’m sure the courts aren’t going to let someone you or your child doesn’t even know to supervise the visits. And he wants your son all day? He can’t even be bothered to feed him or help him in the restroom. Don’t back down otherwise while your kid is with his dad he’ll be hungry and probably with a dirty pull up all day.
So don’t approve her
Um taking care of the child’s needs is def building their bond…. It’s not all fun and games. I hope your lawyer can advocate for parenting classes too.
No don’t. Your definitely dealing with a narasist. Document everything! Dates times etc. Maybe you can get his visitation taken away.
How do you approve of someone if you don’t know them don’t agree to anything. Document and go back to court. Don’t even take on the headache of arguing with him. Let the court deal with him. You don’t need that extra stress I promise
You are never overreacting when it comes to your child. You are their protector. Do what you can to make sure they are safe and cared for at all times. To hell with that guy! Be a mama bear and make sure your baby is safe!
You are your child’s voice and you have to protect him no matter what
Fuck that, only use someone you trust, or tell him he can get a court appointed supervisor, or a professional supervisor, I get he wants to have his child without being watched, but he needs to prove himself first, it’s a privilege not a right, don’t let him guilt trip you, my ex tried the same, then threatened to burn my house down if I didn’t agree, it’s about the safety of your child, don’t put your child in harms way just to please your ex, because if you agreed to make him happy, and your child ended up getting hurt or killed, you’d never forgive yourself, parents don’t need supervision for no reason, remember that, he cant just walk back into your kids life nilly willy, he needs to commit and show he puts the child first, and not feeding or changing him at visits, proves he’s putting his own selfish needs first and not your child’s.
Just don’t approve. Reach out to the city/state and ask for them to give someone who does visitations professionally.
Do not approve them to supervise!!! Get a lawyer & take him to court. Changing diapers & feeding are parts of parenting. Its neglect not to. If you can prove that he’s neglecting your child hes not going to get more visits. When you go to court ask for supervised professional 3rd party visitation at his expense. If he does this while a court ordered supervisor is supervising hell loose his rights.
Lol feeding your child is the ultimate bond… from birth. Doing these things, changing, bathing, feeding, is bonding…
We have supervised visits.We do them(use to)at a center where they are closely watched.My ex husband,hasnt wanted to see my kids in over a month.I’d take him back to court and see if they can appoint a cps worker
Do NOT agree to anyone you so not know and feel safe with your child. You can ask for visitations to be supervised at/by Dept of Family Services. And as for him feeding and changing, that IS bonding time!!! How does he expect to have his child all day without feeding and taking his child to the bathroom!?! He’s supposed to be his child’s father not his playmate! He sounds like a real winner. I would do everything in my power to get visitations very very limited and definitely not at his home with someone that can’t be around their own children. Def tell the courts your child is not safe with him!
Ah you don’t approve reach out to someone and go through an organisation that he will have to pay for. Also bring up that he doesn’t feed or change him during the day so that it’s noted if you were ever to go back to court
They shouldn’t approve the supervisor change…he is insane…notify your worker between you too that the people he is asking to change aren’t able to be with their own children without supervision… most have to be approved by mom and dad …if he doesn’t want the grandmother then get a state legal person to supervise…they would see his unwilling to provide for the child( not feeding or encouraging potty use or changing pull up) and report that…or make him… neglecting the child’s needs is not taking time away to bond…that the stupidest comments iv heard…it’s just being lazy…go back to court…inform them the information on the people he is having as possible supervisors and request for a legal state supervisor…they would also have something to say about him refusing to tend to the child’s needs …changing his pull up and feeding him are necessary things that need to be done and are not taking time away from bonding…if a mother didn’t change or feed her child it’s neglect…and abuse in some eyes…so your child’s father refusing to do these is neglect…I’d mention that when you go back to court …that’s laziness at its finest…do not agree to anything…don’t make your son suffer…your his voice and your the one that needs to make sure he is taken care of( obviously dad sees needs being met as a problem which is scary) so be the voice your child needs…don’t allow your son to be in an abusive… neglectful situation…do something…NOW
Dont give in
Burden of proof is on him not you !!
You most definitely go with your gut on this! Do not send that child with someone who won’t even feed him while he is with him or to a place where another person who isn’t fit to watch his own child without supervision is.
Don’t approve her. In my state (NC) supervisors have to pass a background check and have a clean criminal record. I would also mention to the lawyer or meditation (NC requires meditation to change things) that he doesn’t feed, change or take to the potty.
Try to keep supervised visits especially with grandma if she is doing it especially if he is like he is .especially if this is first-time seeing otherwise I would fight for not to see grandma can see. I’ve kinda been in your shoes.
Keep supervised fight for it
Don’t approve. You don’t know her at all. Nope nope nope
Don’t approve her until he does those things. Then if you still aren’t comfortable, it’s a NO!
Oh if possible document pickup drop off to him time and if grandma takes care of.
Um that’s a no for me.
protect your kid and go back to court! if he can’t be a responsible adult he shouldn’t get a say in it at all. I honestly wouldn’t let that fly period.
Don’t trust him take to court let the judge decide
Uh, are you seriously asking this question??? You don’t approve. Protect your child.
So he just wants the brownie points of hey I spend time with my kid and only be there for the fun stuff. Not the reality of having a child (potty, messes, feeding, etc…) I wouldnt change a thing
Nope. I’m my state the court has to approve the supervisor for supervised visits and if one of the parents wants to be a dillhole about it then the court makes them pay for a third party court appointed supervisor
It does matter what you think and you have the right to choose whom is to supervise the visitations.
Watch the Judge agree with you.
Don’t stress Momma.