Don’t approve her. Do what it right for your child, not what your ex wants. He has no say in your decision making anymore. Airways go with your gut and do what you have to do to protect your baby. Also, I’d point out to the judge the neglect your ex is showing your son by refusing to take care of his basic needs during a visit.
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Well if it’s up to you to agree on it or not; then don’t agree to it until you meet her.
He’s. Really. That. Insane.
Tell the court/your lawyer your concerns. It should be someone you both trust and mutually agree upon. Not some loser friend who can’t see his own kids or his mom that you don’t know or never met. You have a say/voice in this, protect your child and don’t second guess yourself.
No fucking way girlie … stick to ur guns if ur Nan can do
It there’s no need to change it
Don’t do it! Go back to court and tel the judge he can’t even do basic care needs. Let the judge decide
Not no but HELLLLL NO:bangbang:
That shit AINT happening‼️
Let the court decide
Do not allow it. Idk what it’s like over there, but in my area, only a judge approved family member is allowed to supervise or visitation will be supervised via court appointed advocate. Follow your gut!!! Don’t agree.
Absolutely NOT! I wouldn’t approve it even if I did know her name. She knows your ex and would probably let him take off with him! That’s a big ole FAT NOPE!
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Unsure where you are but here, if someone isn’t allowed to have unsupervised visits with their own child they aren’t allowed to be around other children unsupervised.(A judge, lawyer, and CPS told me this regarding a foster care child we had) Which means they couldn’t be a supervisor for visitation as they can’t be unsupervised themselves. I would not agree upon that. Honestly, I’d request supervised visits at a care center. We have them here, they are dedicated to supervised visitation for parents. Either that, or have the courts assign a designated advocate.
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Go back to court and request visitation to be at a meditation center supervised by them and paid by him.
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Go to a judge. Have your mother document all the things he’s neglected to do for your son then print out all text messages stating what he has said and let the judge handle it.
Ofcourse you are not overreacting. Dont approve. You have to know who is with your Child & it has to be someone you trust!
You have the upper hand here. Sounds off and the answer would be no. The End
This sounds really shady to me. If it wasn’t, he wouldn’t be getting so upset about it. Don’t approve some woman you don’t even know. You know and trust the Grandmother and he can just get over it. If he truly wants to see his son, then he will accept it.
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Yes I agree … don’t approve . He is only doing it I would say as he is trying to get to you . He clearly is not being a caring father if he can’t change a pull up. Stand your ground …. If he does not like it tell him to take you to court . Just make sure you have everything documented. Send only emails and don’t say you can’t see your child but say you can under the current arrangements. There are also child lawyers that can be appointed by the courts working in the best interest of the kids
I would keep it the same person and have it documented where he’s not caring for the child during visits
So you’re not over-reacting and you should meet the person first HOWEVER my husband’s baby mama lied and he was stuck with supervised visits for a month she turned down EVERY SINGLE PERSON. Including me the judge ripped her a new ass so also be prepared of backlash as well…
Screw that. Don’t approve it. You don’t know her or his weird friend either and he’s being unreasonable. Stand your ground. Your child’s safety is potentially at risk.
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That’s a big fat NO!
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In my state we have the option to take our kids to dhs and have visitation supervised there by a social worker or have a social worker come to the home. Since he doesn’t want to take care of the child basic needs and has a problem with who is supervising the visit I would ask the court if the court if those are options that way the person supervising is an impartial person and they would have to document the visits which will be easier to prove if he’s actually neglecting the child during that time
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He’s insane. DO NOT APPROVE
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Ask for a court ordered social worker to supervise visits. That way it’s absolutely equal to either side, and constant reporting will be made. Not to mention it’ll be a hell of a witness.
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DO NOT APPROVE until you get to agree on a person you both Know!! If he is willing to TAKE CARE OF HIM potty and food wise, he doesn’t deserve anything anyways
This is why we have family court
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How does anyone/you approve someone or something You don’t know….
Your ex is insane. No court would require you to accept a supervisor whose own kids were removed from her home.
And his argument that changing pull ups reduces bonding time is absurd. That IS bonding time. It’s not all about play. I’d discuss the situation with your divorce lawyer. It sounds like he doesn’t want tp be a father, much less a responsible one. He likely wants all day visits to reduce child support payments.
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What is the point of a supervisor if you aren’t vetting them. You wouldn’t leave your kid with a random stranger and that is what it would be like to have someone you don’t know anything about as the supervisor they are in charge if anything happens to make sure nothing happens or it’s reported and taken care of asap of anything should happen. I let my supervisors know they absolutely could go to jail with him if anything happened so far we have had a court ordered and one other and he tried to marry the last one and I said that’s fine but if they married we needed a new supervisor bc it wasn’t going to work with them being able to get out of testifying against each other if something happened to my kids or his time that all involved would be held accountable by a supervisor idk what they had planned but they never married and he left her not long after and it’s been almost 2 years since he has seen the kids. You don’t have to agree to a absolute stranger that’s ridiculous for him to even contemplate as normal like asking someone off the street to watch your kid
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You are not insane! Do not approve it!
Do not approve. Simple! Good luck x
That would a haaaard no for me
Don’t let your child go. That shouldn’t even be a question. If you’re not allowed to ask questions then he’s not allowed to get the child over there… period
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You do need to know who’s supervising your son so make sure you speak to social workers first.xx good luck.x
Nope don’t approve it
Push for supervised visits at a visitation center. He will have to pay for it too!
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Like how could u be so lazy to not even want to feed your child or take him to the restroom I wouldn’t even let my child go, I don’t care what the court says.
Nope. If he can’t come to a reasonable compromise for visitation then I would tell him that he can have supervised visits at your county’s children’s center and be supervised by one of their workers.
Don’t approve anyone you do not want.
If i dont know the person i can not approve. Taking them to the bathroom and changing diapers and feeding is all bonding time.
Sounds pretty sketchy to me. Here in NC I believe the supervisor is agreed upon by social services. You don’t have to let him choose. It’s up to you
Tell him to kick rocks
Not feeding a child, taking them to the bathroom or changing a pull up/ diaper is NEGLECT and abuse. I hope it’s via text or email and I’d be showing them to the court who granted him visitation. And would NEVER allow the roomie or his mother to be a supervisor. He does NOT get to be in control he lost that right when he got arrested and abandoned his child. 
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I would take him to court again and describe his parenting skills to the judge. No child should be left with anyone who won’t take care of them. Also you have every right in the world to know the names and addresses of anyone who might be caring for your baby. What would stop them from just taking off with your baby. You wouldn’t have the first idea where to start looking. Tell the judge all of this, he needs to know where this guys mind is at.
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No you’re not overreacting you’re just trying to protect your child your child doesn’t even know him let alone the people that are supposed to be supervising their visit you don’t know what could end up going on those people are not gonna watch your son correctly
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They will not all that other guy to supervise
You need a good lawyer
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I always try to be devil’s advocate but in this case I’d definitely say NO WAY especially seen as one of the people he wasn’t isn’t even allowed access to his own kids without someone there and the other people’s is that person’s mum both of who don’t know the child and he refuses to allow you to even contact them, alarm bells ringing. Alos if he isnt willing to change his own kids pull ups of even fees him then how does he expect to be able to look after him all day.bpeewonllybid tell him that if he wants it changed he needs to go back to court as you dont agree with what he wants. Good luck x
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Nope.
How is taking care of your child not binding with them.?
Your ex is an as$hat.
I wouldn’t agree to some random person for supervision either.
Just sounds like someone he can get to agree with his lack of care for his own child 
No don’t approve it sketchy
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He won’t feed or change the little one omg hun run for the hills with your precious little one xxx
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Don’t approve anyone unless your ok with them, if you don’t know the people don’t do it
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U are not over reacting if u have proof that he wouldn’t take them to the bathroom or change them that’s good that’s proof these are red flags and I don’t think the court would like the fact that u don’t approve of the mother and the others guys situation the court I hope wild listen to u and not approve it it’s all red flags don’t let it happen
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Ignore that fool. He isn’t ready for what he is requesting
Tell him eat 
then, pretty simple!! if he carnt bother to feed or change a pull up why should he have it his way at the end of the day its not really about him it’s about the child, what exactly is your child getting from these visits? I don’t see the point in supervisored visits with someone who carnt even do the basics
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You need to take him to court or get whoever you had sign off on supervised visitations deal with it. Never allow a random person to be in control of your child’s well-being
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Go back to court with evidence that the child is not being taken care of!
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Feeding and changing can be a good bonding time if he goes about it in the right way. I would fight those supervised visitations. He should be supervised by someone the CPS chooses.
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Really don’t deny any man to be part of his child’s life , one day that little kid is going to grow up and be around the parent either being the mom or dad - you might to control their life now but what happens when they get older and don’t say they won’t go around the parent- what happens behind your back stays behind your back
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He can’t even take care of his basic needs while he is there. No way I would allow some random sketchy person to be the one to supervise the visitation.
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Erm no i wouldn’t be letting anyone but someone you know supervise and tell him if he doesn’t follow your parenting and your child’s routine he can kiss your arse! X
Nope… And if he gives you a hard time, say you will talk to the courts, saying he is giving you a hard time, so you would prefer him doing supervised visits in a children’s counseling center now… He will have to pay everytime he sees his child then. I’m sure he won’t bother you if you bring that up
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i’d never let anyone take over if u don’t know the person well!! Can’t take any chances!!
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How do you approve without meeting and getting to know her
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Nope no way. Not in the child’s best interest. I would ask to get someone court appointed then!! That way you have someone that can document everything and is a mandated reporter to the court.
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You are definitely not overreacting. I would notify the courts if continues acting like that. Try do communicate through text messages. They hold up in a court of law
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You need to take him to court and have a court appointed supervisor to watch them or have visitation done at a facility where he’s monitoredz
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Make him do supervised visitation at social services
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Go back to court and show that he isn’t doing any of those things (basically being a parent of the basics) on the regular. If he wants to change the person do it BUT ask for it to be done at a facility (that way it’s not biased of what is taking place and if/when he doesn’t do that basic stuff he can’t ask for unsupervised or more time.
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You’re not overreacting or being unreasonable. You can’t approve someone you have never met or know nothing about. You definitely shouldn’t be approving someone to supervise that can’t even be left alone with their own kids!
I would flat out call him out on his BS and tell him I’m standing firm on it. If he wants some random y’all might as well do it at the CPS center. 
You have an obligation to your child first and then to co parent with this fool, not bend and twist everything to what he demands.
If he refuses to change him or feed him I would never allow someone that has no contact with me to supervise that seems sketchy and not safe
Obviously refuse… cannot approve someone you never met. Just like you wouldn’t send child to an unknown daycare. No reason for you to care if he gets mad. Unless he tries to get physical than even more reason for him to need proper supervision
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Yeah he’s insane. Not overreacting. Don’t approve someone you don’t know or isn’t at the very least a court appointed supervisor. If he doesn’t want grandma there then petition the court for a court appointed one. No way would I ever agree to that BS.
I agree with everyone except Abby Dee. Please don’t take her advice!!!
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Keep all the messages of him saying changing or feeding that baby is “to much” they will not grand all day visits. And if he doesn’t want your mom to supervise the visits you can always ask for him to go through a visitation center where he will need to pay for the visits. 
I wouldn’t want someone I don’t know “supervising” anything unless they are state/judge appointed.
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Young one - you are in charge of your child’s environment
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Tell him you can’t approve someone without meeting them so you know they’ll actually follow the “supervised” bit. The guy he wants won’t be granted so I wouldn’t even worry about that because they aren’t going to allow someone who is supposed to be supervised themselves supervise someone else. If he can’t feed or take his child to the toilet then I don’t see how they’d grant all day visitation. The child has to eat and doesn’t need to regress on potty training because his “dad” is lazy and if a different supervisor is granted, I’d be worried about him possibly not eating all day. Dad is dumb if thinks feeding him or taking him to the toilet gets in the way of bonding. Doing ANYTHING with/for our kids creates a bond.
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First document everything have your mom video he’s not caring for the child so you have proof and go back to court the documentation will save you in the long run I promise
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Yeah with him acting like that, I’d say no. You can suggest an appointment supervised visits location from the courts with a court mediator. They report back to the judge
He sounds like he’ wants the ball to be in he’s court wanting to take all the shots 
ur in the right as a mother he’s wrong I would definitely fight him in that one and I would be calling the shots as ur he’s main career as a parent 
He’s definitely nuts.
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You need a say in the supervisor. Present facts not opinions to the court
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Wow. Just wow. Tell him no
I would be suspicious of him attempting a kidnapping. Talk to an attorney.
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Do not approve her.
You just said it needs to be agreed on.
Its not agreed on.
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Sorry but if he was a good father and cared about his kid he would be making sure the kid is fed, dressed and happy. I would definitely not go along with anything he says whatsoever. I would be going to the courts immediately and explaining all this
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Until you have proof DO NOT ALLOW some random person on ANY visits
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Keep the visitations as is and if he doesn’t like it tough shit. Hell no would I let my child go around people I don’t know.
Tell him no way and DON’T approve her!
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If you have to think about this, you have a problem!!! The answer is NO! Like someone else said, use a nanny cam or something to record him when he is there under supervision!!!
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Don’t meet anyone else
Don’t approve anyone else
Leave as is, this is your sons routine and familiarity as you u have it now and it’s to benefit your son …no one else
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No if it’s someone you don’t know don’t approve it simple
Your job is to protect your child he clearly isn’t
Also keep all txts or what’s apps or emails he sends you & also proof of him saying (his daily needs) as in feeding him changing him or taken him to the potty or toilet is taken away time spend with him
When it’s all to do with basic care of a child of that age
They won’t grant it
Maybe suggest he does a treble p parenting course first before contact improves?
That way he will know and learn of the importance of daily basic needs of a child
And to take them on board as a priority over playing with the child as obvcourse bonding and playing and learning is also important basic needs needs to be priority first
Good luck!.
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You can’t agree to someone supervising visitation if you don’t know that person… Personally I would not be agreeing to change the arrangement that is already in place
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Go with your gut feelings dont do it
If anything I would have his visitation re evaluated if he’s not feeding or tolieting the child. He sounds mentally ill. I would request that he get a psych evaluation
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Get in touch with your solicitor
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If he can’t even feed and change his own kid then who will be doing that if he has the child alone .
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Do not just “approve” of anyone! It is your decision and all of this is a bunch of red flags. I’m involved with the DHS and they have done background checks on everyone considered to do supervised visits with my ex for our kids. It does matter! And it is your business! Let him get mad, this is your son’s well being and safety.
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Put you foot down, exercise your rights period. Let them know about the potty time and feeds. Absolutely refuse his choices… Make sure the supervisor is someone thst you know personallu
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If he can’t take the child to the bathroom, then I wouldn’t work with him.
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If it has to be mutually agreed upon then he’ll need to find someone you’re comfortable with and that you trust with your children. Especially because while he has supervised visits he isn’t giving basic care; diaper changes, food, etc
This is his problem to solve or fix not yours. You care for your children without the requirement of a supervisor. If he wants to prove to the court he can have visitation then let him prove it. That’s what’s best for your kids, stop letting him ask you for what’s best for him.
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