Don’t have any more kids with him
Omg stay single petty
Is he your husband or your fiance? Is he the baby daddy? And if he started a movie without you and your feelings are hurt then you both should grow up.
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Tell him youre not his mother and if wants something sweet, he needs to go make it himself or ask his mamma since he can’t be big boy enough to watch his babies like he’s supposed to. You can’t take the time away from them to tend to his needs when he can’t take the time away from his phone to parent.
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You weren’t and aren’t wrong. It’s time for all mothers to realize YOU are the one doing the bulk of raising the kids no matter how “woke” these men are. Dad can teach them a myriad of abilities, but mom is the one that ends up teaching humanity, selflessness, the more gentler ways of navigating life. Come on, your mother, grandmother knows this. That’s just the way it is and will always be, that’s why there is marraige, so the child gets from BOTH sides. I know this doesn’t help a whole lot, but it is what it is.
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I think dads are like that. They love the kids and sometimes they play with them and sometimes they just be on the phone until one of them falls or cries 
. Moms are most attentive and spends 100% of their time and labor with the kids and we all wish the dads can do the same but that’s men! No matter how much you talk or bring it to their attention it will just be the same 
Should have said . I’ll keep an eye on MY babies . and for him to make his own drink. Of which he wouldn’t do asxit would b too much like hard work. As for a film. Take yourself to bed after babies In bed and watch a movie on your own. Play him at his own game.
When he comes in… you go out! You deserve some time to yourself and he deserves to know what being a sahm feels like. Don’t mean to sound rude, but I’d have put a stop to that crap after the first born… I’m assuming you planned these babies together? Yet you’re practically raising them alone… just saying… mine are 13 and 10 now and I still have the odd day/evening to myself as I work full time as does he… but I still do the cooking and cleaning so when I want time off from home I take it x
It’s good you spoke your mind. If he doesn’t like it, he knows his in the wrong.
I told my partner that he was focusing on his phone to much and not paying attention to the kids or myself. I explained I understand his had a long day working 2 jobs, but we still deserve his attention. (I did let it go for a couple weeks until a point it just kept happening), anyways, I said to him I don’t mind you playing your game or sitting on your phone without conversation once the boys are asleep and we are in bed but he deleted the game he was obsessed with and has not gone on it since.
Sometimes I think it comes to how you word it or approach it, but no it’s not wrong!!
Is mums still work our buts off even at home.
My partner has pulled the why don’t you work card on me and I said I would happily work and he stays home with the kids and does everything I do on a day to day basis!!! He said he takes what he said back and he appreciates what I do and it’s something he couldn’t do because he understands how difficult it is xxxx
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I don’t think you were wrong. Nothing more annoying than feeling like you do 100% and they don’t contribute even half that. Definitely gets annoying and has caused arguments in my relationship as well.
Let it go tell him. Iife is too short to hold grudges. If keeps sulking hes feeling guilty in case your right. Which you proberly are. Married 50 years.
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What’s wrong is him not helping with the kids. He’s a parent too, he can step up more. I don’t think you’re in the wrong at all, it’s not like you are posting it anywhere. Sounds to me like he’s just mad because he wants to do what he wants and is mad that you caught him not paying attention to the kids
My husband does it all the time except that he will watch them for a few minutes and then he back on the phone or the xbox i cant take a 10min bath without him coming in every min asking if im done i have tried talking to him and he says im crazy so i dobt even bother anymore
You could’ve just told him instead of recording him, that’s pretty much an invasion of someone’s privacy. If you’re really concern sit down and talk to him like any other couple would.
No you’re definitely not wrong because you were trying to show him what he wasn’t seeing and he could have easily watched you delete the video right after to make him more comfortable.
Videoing was a good way to get your point across but he doesn’t want to see he’s lacking on his being present and hands on with his kids.
Good luck with him!
Well now that you have his attention. Remind him that the children are his responsibility also. Men have a way off turning things around - don’t fall for it.
If he’s good for nothing, get rid of him! You need a partner, not someone who just makes more work for you.
It’s sad that there are women out here who think other women know the type of guy they are getting into a relationship with when it comes to children. The reality is you don’t!
You can be in a relationship/friendship with someone for 5 years and not know how they are going to treat their own children. So let’s squash that bashing on this woman.
Secondly, you were not wrong to record him. Men are visual creatures. Perhaps showing him what he is doing will open up his heart to emphasize with you when it comes to taking care of the children. He got upset because he knows he wasn’t doing shit, plain and simple. If he was doing something right he wouldn’t have gotten upset!
Third, I’m just speaking from experience. Don’t act like a single mother with a man that is just coasting in your relationship. I understand it may be hard to leave a relationship when the other parent is providing, but realistically a real man who takes care of his family also participates in taking of his family. He doesn’t just work. I got out of a 7 year marriage that was like what you’re experiencing and got into a relationship where yes my man provides, but he also cooks, cleans, and takes care of the children like a responsible parent does! And the best thing, I don’t have to ask. Us as women give men too much credit for barely doing nothing and it’s time it needs to stop. Aint no money or dick worth living a life full of misery!
I think He’s only annoyed because it’s actually proved to him he’s doing wrong xx
Go to parents and couples counseling. He needs to step up and be more involved. Perhaps he has some unresolved issues or some behaviours to unlearn so he can understand the need to be a hands on daddy.
I’m constantly having to remind my husband to pay attention to the kids especially after work. It pisses me off but, I’m not going to record him. He knows by now when the kids are playing and I give him a look to put the phone down and change the attitude and move on. As for the making a decert? Give him a jello cup and move on lmfao
Throw the whole man away talk with out action is manipulating, can’t hold himself accountable even with references being provided that’s a boy
Not wrong. If people get upset when you show them their bad behaviour that just proves they have something to fix
U knew the type of man he was before u started having babies. U could have handled this a lot better.
If he can’t take over the parenting job, then he can damn well get his own pudding. Useless!!
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Maybe he’s farkked after work . Shit ain’t easy do you ask how he’s day is. Typical over thinking.
No more arroz con leche for him forever unless he changes
No ma’am you were not.
Ofcourse he’s mad that you recorded him and you’re mad for him not helping with the kids when you are busy, you’re not a maid or a servant BUT you are acting like one, YOU are teaching him how to treat you, he doesn’t watch the kids, stop asking him to do it, he tells you to go make something cause he has a hankering, too bad, TREAT PEOPLE EXACTLY HOW THEY TREAT YOU AND THEY ARE EITHER GOING TO CHANGE OR GET MAD… Don’t allow yourself to be walked on!
Naa if he dont care he probably never will im same boat except lazy baby momma
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I am a stay at home mom also. When my husband gets home he is usually tired, frustrated, and doesn’t feel like doing anything. It happens. Give your husband a break your kids are small and if he treats them different then you that is okay, as long as he isn’t abusing them or neglecting them, each parent has their own way of being with their kids. You also need a break from the kids. Maybe 30 minutes, a hour, spa day, a day to be alone and rest.
He probably felt betrayed that you thought you had to record him being with his kids, just to criticize his parenting. Imagine if your mother or sister would record you with your kids and when you asked what are you doing; they said it’s because I didn’t like the way your are with the kids so I’m recording you so I can show you to be a better parent. Would that not hurt?
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Aww… Sounds like the two of you aren’t connecting. There are many ways of being a good parent and it’s ok not to be present sometimes. Parenting doesn’t come as naturally for some people. At that age there isn’t much you can do with them, let’s hope he’ll be more engaged when they’re a little older. While it’s good to help him reflect so that he can be his best, and neither behavior is an unforgivable sin, my guess is that he was angry that you were taking video of him because he felt that you were judging him? You’ve put an emphasis on what he does in comparison to what you do. Do you want a competition or a partnership? If you choose him, it should be because you can live in harmony with the way he functions. If you find yourself dissatisfied with the way he parents and the way he does this and that and the other thing then you’re going to end up judging him. Do you want to be his judge?.. or his partner? He obviously depends on you and I bet he wants you to feel like you can depend on him, but you appear to be dissatisfied with him in many areas. Your post lacks a tone of partnership with this man. If I, a complete stranger, can feel it- how do you suppose it feels for him? One, or more likely, both of you need to step up your game. But you can only control yourself. Be the best partner you can be to him for as long as you remain in the relationship - NO MATTER WHAT! The only other options are:
To be miserable together
or
To leave him.
He’s disengaging because he doesn’t feel like you’re his PARTNER.
All these people saying to give the father a break but why? He’s the father, mothers don’t gets breaks so why are we so lenient on the man. I am in the same situation where I say I am a married single mom because men seem to think that the woman is the only one who should take care of the child. How wrong is that! It’s all fun to make a baby but then when the child comes they are like nope not my job. We as women have let the man be less of a father figure and more of a breadwinner in the household and it has to stop. If I’m expected to raise my children alone then I shouldn’t feel bad to call him out on his laziness. Stand your ground and demand he be a better father or leave. Why stay in a miserable relationship? The kids will know who was there for them and who wasn’t.
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To answer your question you are NOT wrong in videoing him for the purpose of showing him later. I am a single parent of 2 children and have been for 10 years. You are a SAHM which means you do work all day too. Even though he works out of the home he needs to pay attention to the babies and not wait until they cry to interact with them. 2 of you made the babies sand both are responsible for them. It is selfish of him not to watch them and be on his phone. I understand your reasoning for videoing him since he does not seem to listen to you. This is a good way to show him his own actions. I do encourage you both talking with a counselor in regards to such issues and how you both feel. Right now he may feel you don’t trust him in caring for the babies and he would be right. His actions have made you feel this way. There are probably more issues you two need to discuss before things can get worse. Communication is the key. Good luck.
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I don’t feel you wrong either, but if this is going to work, yall should be on the same page. Yes parents have various ways of parenting, but it should be a partnership not a competition. Both should be on the same page when it comes to raising children. Partially why my ex and I aren’t together anymore. We both patented differently, and I wanted more for my children then for him to be a half time daddy. They deserved that much. I was a sahm and he worked, but even at times I needed some me time and I expected him to understand and be there to support me. He wasn’t. He’s gone and remarried, but my our relationship he has done much better with his children and with her children since. Hes actually in a partnership with her and the roles are reversed. Hes a sahd because of various reasons. But hes realized just how hard it is when I was a sahm. I agree with others that communication is key, but if he doesn’t listen, then maybe its time to try things with a different approach. It didn’t work for my ex, but it may for your partner. Children can play independently its a great way for them to learn, but even at young ages they can pick up on when they’re not wanted and imo just being present doesn’t make them feel wanted. Am I perfect mum, nah, we all screw up at times, but if we learn as we go, then that is what matters. Yall should be growing together as people and as parents and as a couple…doesn’t seem like any growth is being done. When it gets stagnant like this, it may be time to move on. Good luck! Parenting isn’t easy, but it is so rewarding.
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He sounds pretty selfish - are you sure you want to marry him? No offense intended.
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Me and my hubs go through this so your not alone . Women and men are just very much different
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I don’t think men were taught nor have the trained perception that women have experienced towards children , housekeeping etc. You can’t penalize him for what he does not perceive. Only an outside source that he respects will change the perception. See if you can find that person.
I don’t think you’re wrong for pointing it out. I do think secretly recording him is an invasion.
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They don’t chang! So don’t have more kids. Unless u want to continue doing all the work.
Believe me my children are 13 yrs apart and 8 yrs apart!
Shit he never changed thought he would !
My youngest is 11 yrs old. My husband still wants Quiet tine!
Wtfck well good luck dad ! He has ADHD ocd and anxiety 
Bahaha !!
Sorry they dont change u think age would make it happen !!
No matter how much u call them on it! 
It’s challenging !