I think he was right for leaving. Especially if he only gets to see his son on the weekends. He has every reason to leave. If you need a break maybe you should have left for the weekend.
Kids are part of the package. That last sentence “No time alone” is what every parent contends with. So, finding the place where you have time without sacrificing the parent/child relationship is the middle ground.
Honestly? I think you were wrong. Your kids live with you. He only gets that time with his. And if his wants to live with you and he wants him to? Make room. I sold my house to move in with my bf and his daughter. We built a room for my son. I treat his daughter as I treat my own. He treats my kids as his own. If you want to be with someone who has kid(s) that is what you do.
You were in the wrong. He gets his kid certain days and I’m sure he doesn’t want a break from his kid.
He was right to leave! You have KIDS there is NO break! Doesn’t matter if they’re his yours or the neighbors for that matter. To ask him to miss out on spending time with his child to spend time with you? Is that even a real question?
My boyfriend has 5 other kids. Theres no way I would ask him to not get his kids. Especially if he is only getting them 1 day a week. I think its selfish of you. As a mother how would you feel if your ex husband’s gf asked him.not to get.your kids? It does.sound like you’re asking.him to choose.between you and his son.
I have 4 kids with the same man. He never takes them or pays any child support anymore. Grandparents are dead or not involved. My oldest daughter takes the younger ones to her house for the weekend once in a while. Usually all mine all of the time.
Its fathers day weekend… wrong weekend to ask that.
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Never ask them to choose you or the kids. If they choose you, then you know the kind of parent they will make
Be glad you’re not married…let him go…hes not worth it…deliver, dont put his name on the birth certicate, get your tubes tied if you refuse to act ceelibate!!
I’m sure he misses his kid since he doesn’t live with him so I think he should get to see him. That’s part of being a parent.
If your man only takes his son on Saturdays, you dead wrong! You have 6 other days
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I think he’s just overwhelmed. You already have a family He already has a family and now you’re adding a newborn.
Maybe in that moment he was having a bad day.
Or maybe he felt like he needed a day off, and just didn’t know how to ask you.
You are correct and asking for a weekend off from all your children.
It’s healthy to have some downtime.
If you have previous spouses or grandparents that can help out, you should take a weekend to yourselves.
The kids aren’t going to suffer over one weekend
Wow you shouldn’t even have to ask this question what did you think would happen:woman_facepalming:t4: So when the baby come are you gonna ask him again not to get his son so y’all can focus on the new baby??? You need to put yourself in time out and think about what you asked this FATHER 
Christan Wooten this is what I was trying to get you to see…its not right to change your childs schedule because you have a significant other
The fact that you said his son asked to live there and your response was “I don’t have room for five kids” says everything anyone needs to know. Smh. Wtf is wrong with you? FOUR OF THEM ARE YOURS! He gets one day and you asked him to give up “Saturday’s” meaning you don’t want him to see his son at all?!? Yeah. You’re wrong asf.
Girl no… just no. Get a damn babysitter and go to spend a few hours alone but do not take a whole day away when he doesn’t even have him full time. He did right. You ma’am are selfish.
I haven’t had a day alone in over 5yrs… I would love a night to myself or have a date night… Find someone willing to watch him for a few hours without him having to sacrifice what little time he gets with his child.
Seems like there is way more to this story. If your real issue is spending alone time with him, don’t you get every other Sunday without your kids? Seems perfect to me for u that his son comes on Saturday since while he’s working that means you get time with him and his son every Saturday. Then y’all get the Sundays alone together??? Or is the issue keeping his son? Because that comes with the territory. If you chose him then you also choose his child and parenting is always involved when you get involved with someone who already has one. And?? Aren’t y’all about to have a baby?? But don’t forget you get every other Sunday all to yourself with him?? Well, until the baby comes at least. Or did I totally read that all wrong?
Wrong to ask. Plan a day during the week where you both can take off from work and enjoy. He is 100% correct on this one Momma.
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Sorry these women on here are being so vicious (if she sees this). We should be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down.
I totally understand what this woman meant and she didn’t mean any harm. I was a single mom with 3 kids, no help at all. Once a year my sister would have them over for a weekend. Yes, I said once a year. I enjoyed it though. It was very rare that I had time for myself. This lady is pregnant. With this covid and being pregnant, don’t you think this poor woman deserves a frigging break? This whole quarantine has messed with everyone’s emotional well-being, pregnant or not. Try not to be so harsh. Show some compassion. Good luck to her. I hope it all works out.
He needs to spend time with his son too whenever he can ! You have to makes plans for each other and find a babysitter for your kids too !
Yes it was wrong and selfish…Thats his child whom he sees only once a week come on now! Turn the tables and how would you feel and are you seriously complaining that you have to care for his son??? Ugh…I don’t even have words! Poor child and yes he has every right to be mad. I’m mad for him and feel for his poor son. I love all my children the same 2 biological and 2 step but I never consider them step! They are and we are family. Period. No special treatments. I can’t get over that you actually mentioned that you have to care for him…wow!!
I understand where you’re coming from but he only gets his son one day a week and do you know if he has any control over that day? Because I assume he doesn’t… you kinda decided to take on a fifth kid when you started dating/got pregnant with this man.
I think maybe telling him you are too worn out to help, if his kids gonna be over than he needs to solely care for him to give you a break. Your prego, kids, work, domestic stuff. Girl you need a break. Either he needs to Schedule some time off or take care of his child for the time being, you dont need all that stress.
I’d NEVER pick someone over time with my child and I’d never ask someone too either. How would you feel is another woman asked your kids father this same question.
He maybe an awesome father, but he’s no winner in the BF catagory. Being in a relationship takes work, he doesn’t seem to want to do that.
Have ya’ll thought about pregnancy hormones…while both my husband & I put our kids first…there were days where we just needed time alone like a date night…I don’t think she was wrong for asking for alone time…just that maybe she asked for it in the wrong way. Maybe she should have asked can we get a babysitter for a couple of hours instead…go to dinner or to a movie…then come home to still hang out with the son…whether she wanted to get a babysitter for all the kids or not…I didn’t see that she doesn’t accept his son or that she didn’t want him around…just that she wanted a day to themselves that is ok to want that…I didn’t see she asked him to chose…maybe she should have asked for the Sunday instead of the Saturday…I don’t think she doesn’t want his son around…& let’s look at the fact that she is carrying HIS child & he just walked out on her carrying HIS child…one day or a few hours is not a lot to ask for.
I say you’re wrong:woman_shrugging:t2: Very self centered decision to make. Why does he have to give up seeing his son for alone time with you? You also chose to have a child with him knowing you have three and he has one already and being aware that children take time. Some people have children and no option of sending them to the other parent as well. 
And it sounds like you’re complaining about providing basic care for the child when he is at your house as well?! 
I guess if he left you will have alone time if you let him see his child that you have together? 
I’m trying to understand how you can even think he is wrong for you asking him to choose you over his child… make it make sense.
Let him know how you are feeling. Maybe try every other weekend.i see both sides, and I am sorry for you all. It’s a very delicate situation. Just sit him down and talk. You will work it out. Hang in there.
You don’t have space for his son to live with you but you guys magically have space for your baby together? My 14SD lives with us 24/7 as her mom is in another country and we have zero family here. Has only slept at a friend’s house maybe once a year. My 8BD goes to grandma’s every weekend, but our 2 together also have no family thus are with us 24/7. It’s called being a parent 
First mistake is letting him move in and not marriage.You both have kids, so that is a given. Try to make arrangements with relatives to get the needed time together. I sure he already feels guilty that he only gets to see him once a week. Dare I say you know what you were getting into. If you truly love each other, get married, get a bigger place and utilize grandparents and other relatives to give you both a break now and then. Yes, I am a believer and I go by God’s standards. Think about it.
I think you’re wrong. Please take some time to think on that. And also y’all need to find time for a date night or date weekend to have that enrichment time.
I mean I get you need a break, but then why are you having more kids if you can’t handle what you’ve got already?
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Hold up…he wants his son there but he won’t be there. I feel you, you arent wrong, you didnt ask for every weekend, just the one
weekend.
I understand u want time together but u sound selfish since his son only gets to see his dad once every weekend.
There’s no harm in wanting a day alone. Hell i have those days to where i want time with just me n my husband. He sees my stepsons every other weekend . But then again shouldn’t be made to choose between u or the kids .
It was a real dramatic overreaction on his part, he didn’t want to sit and communicate the problem together. I don’t know how long you guys have been together but this needs to change or else it’s inevitably going to end. 7 months pregnant in summer is miserable I know both of my pregnancies were in the dead of summer. If you’re watching him the majority of the time it’s really not unreasonable.
Finally a dad who chooses right. Children ALWAYS come first!
Ok look at it from this point of view how would you feel if your ex’s girlfriend did that? You probably would be upset. Now imagine how he feels. I understand you may not have been trying to hurt him but you did. I have done the step mom thing and I loved every bit of it even when I was pregnant and having complications with my second child and had a toddler running around.
If he is off on Sunday you do have two days a month right now without kids. When my children were small, unless we had a babysitter we didn’t have any time alone. Any child he has is as important as your children and the child you are having together. Maybe think about it from the stand point. I am not being ugly or judge mental. I personally would not have asked.
Short and sweet and to the point: yes it was wrong. If you truly love him then you accept the fact he comes with a package so to speak. And if you don’t have room for 5 kids then find a bf without kids that be willing to accept ALL of yours. Good luck w that. If you can’t accept him don’t expect anyone to accept you. That was really selfish tho. He could’ve taken his son and maybe went to the park for couple hours so you could have a break. Otherwise it’s called parenting suck it up
Yes it was wrong. You have children and knew he had a child. If you can’t deal with all of what you have going on, you should not be bringing another child into it.
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Tbh I have 2 boys and my boyfriend has 0. He gets frustrated when we have no alone time but he understands that absolutely nothing matters over my kids. I pick them every day, over everything. I applaud him for doing the same.
You were wrong in my opinion. You said you both have off on Sundays, there is your day together with no kids. His son is lucky to have a dad that wants to get him.
Lady get your tubes tied. Raise the kids you got. No more boyfriends until the last one turns 18.
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You may as well move on if you can’t treat his son like you do yours. It will Not work out!
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I understand wanting your own time BUT I would have said “hey, can you trade days so we can get a day to ourselves to do something special?” One day doesn’t seem bad to trade that day for. Every single time, cutting his time with his son in half seems too much.
You can’t ask him to change the only day he sees his kids . Just because you want time alone fair play to him for doing what he did
This weekend, yeah I think it was wrong!! It’s Father’s Day weekend… I understand that you are tired, but this weekend is his.
Yes, you were wrong. However, you should discuss with him how he needs to do more of caring for his son while he’s here and in general. You should both be working equally to care for your children.
Did you explain you just wanted a day alone with him? Just one day with the due date around the corner? It is perfectly normal and a healthy investment to take periodic breaks for a date day with your spouse. This seems to have escalated greatly and tmvery quickly. Don’t know all that went into this, but id say to just try explaining you just wanted to take advantage of time your kids would already be gone and have a date day to yourselves with him.
And you’re having another kid!!! Why??? If you have no room for the ones you have now then where is this one going to go? Youre selfish in my opinion. Join the club on moms who wish they could get a break from their kids. I have mine 24/7. They stay the night st my moms house once every 2 months. Grow up…your boyfriend did the perfect action.
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I really am sorry but I think it was wrong. He only gets to see him that one time? Can’t ask a parent that. There is why there are babysitters? Go to dinner? Movie?
Yeah you’re wrong for that.
You expect him to accept your other kids but won’t treat his like your own. No ma’am.
I’m glad he chose his son…
Very selfish of u and sounds as if u shouldn’t be having another kid since u clearly can’t handle what u have and it’s kinda your job to care for him it’s a package deal he did the right thing no real man will choose a little girl that’s what u r acting this way over their flesh and blood that they gave life 2
I’m siding with your boyfriend. He doesn’t get any time with his kid and you wanted him to choose you over his child. Also, his son asked to live with you guys and you turned him down? As a parent you make it work… you don’t find an excuse…
Children always come first. His son deserves that day with his father.
The kids come first. You already have 3 kids and clearly can’t handle his 1 tgen how exactly are you going to handle another baby that won’t be leaving you on the weekends? You chose someone with a child and moved in together. You now have 4 kids and soon to be 5. You seem very selfish in that only you matter here.
Ya your wrong. Theres other ways to make alone time. He only gets his son on the weekends and you asked him not to pick him up or have him over. How would you of felt if you moved in with him and only had your kids on the weekend and he told you he didn’t want your kid there this weekend. If you say you would of been ok with that then you need to rethink being a mom or take some serious parenting classes
Ok i can understand needing a break but doing better planning for it. Dont ask for him to give up his time with his kid. Id be pissed if my ex asked me if he i would keep the kids for his girlfriend
All I can say is he is a good dad. He should always put his children first!
He parents his child one day a week, he is there for yours 7 days a week. I think you could have approached it better but you need to have the conversation about this. Why can’t you spend your Sunday together?
It is a package deal, but there should always be understanding and communication. Sadly, in the end - he didn’t choose his girlfriend over his child…he chose his first child over his soon to be child when he packed up and left. I’d say good riddance!
I mean I get what you were trying to do but nah sis you were wrong. You KNOW he has a week day off so what you could’ve taken that day off and asked your ex to get the kids that night so that y’all could spend some time together. Reading this it’s like you like you used to really like his kid but now you don’t want to deal with him and are sick of caring for him when he’s around. Like I said I get what you mean but you need to figure out another way for y’all to spend time together
I can’t believe you dont know how wrong you are. If I was that childs mother, I wouldn’t want him around you I’d be afraid that selfishness might rub off
you want him you get his kid - if you want a break from his kid then you should not be with him, his kid comes first
Wrong. His kid is a part of him and yours should not over ride his. Package deal. I understand the need for a break but that’s his child and it seems as if he only sees him once a week.
OMG you are so wrong for asking him that. I’m so glad he chose his son as most Father’s wouldn’t
You two can pick a day to take off when there are no kid obligations. To ask him to forfeit a day is not cool. But my questions is the son is only their on Saturday why isn’t he off that day
Wait not only did you ask him to not take his son but Father’s Day weekend of all times? I don’t blame him for being pissed
Wow! You’re a piece of work huh? He was totally right to leave! That’s his child and his child should always come first especially over you. How dare you ask him not to take his own child so you can have alone time with him. You knew he had a child when you met him right? That means you accept it or you don’t get that man. So many fathers don’t take their children. Seems like you had a good man. How would you feel if he said you shouldn’t take your children? And finally, you don’t have room for his child yet you decided to have another!!?? Wow. Just wow! I hope he leaves you and takes his child you’re pregnant with the second he can.
Completely wrong!!! Kids come first a d shame on you for being so selfish good for him for leaving!
He did the right thing. I think maybe your approach could have been fine tuned a bit. I get it , wanting to have one on one time together but this needs to be a conversation and something that is planned.
He should have left her sorry ass. The only day he gets his son and she asked him not to get him… but then complaints taking care of his son. Why she with someone that has kid/kids? I will always choose my kids over anything or anyone. Bc that’s what amazing parents do.
1 kid is really easy?? I hope that i read that in the wrong context… 1 child is as equally hard as more. I have 1 daughter, but i grew up with 3 brothers and i would say that my mother Irene Mackay had the same struggles as all us mum’s do.
He’s right! You’re absolutely in the wrong. Good for him for choosing his son over you!
It was wrong of you to ask him not to have his son. Period. However if he is working every single Saturday it’s not really fair to you to be watching his child all day on top of your own kids plus being pregnant and working a full time job. Either you accept the fact that his child will come every Saturday and deal with it or send him on his way. How would you feel if his future gf did this to the child you guys have together? Remember, your three kids aren’t his either and they are around all the time except weekends. You had no right to ask him to forgo his visit with his son. How world you feel if you only saw your kids once a week?
Yeah he was right…maybe you should have said…is there a possibility to look at visitation so that your son comes on Sundays when you are here instead of on Saturdays when you work. When you have children you can’t expect a day off a week together. And asking him to not see his son so you can have that is just wrong!!!
U were dead wrong! His child will and should always come first! Who asks someone who doesn’t have everyday access to their kid to give up a day with them! Girl u need to grow up before having kids!! When u have kids u no longer have weekends
If I was in this kind of situation, I would talk to him about if his son can come over on the weekends your kids are there and then have the weekends with no kids the same. But, that’s just my opinion. This way you can have time to prepare for the baby, and time together, and he can have time with his son and your kids together and you can actually feel like you are bringing your families together. But, as I said, this is my opinion. Take it or leave it. That’s my way of thinking of a compromise.
Sounds like you shouldve waited on pregnancy until after marriage. I understand wanting a night alone. With that being said, this shouldve been discussed before you decided to be together. Too many times people get together without discussing the intricacies of family dynamics. Also, if my husband’s child wished to come live with me I’d figure out a way to make it happen if all parties are in agreement. He is also one of the family now. It should be no big deal having one more child when you already have experience with multiple
Rather next time ask him for a date night that doesn’t fall on the day his son visits. I understand why he got upset.
I cannot help but think, of roles rlwere reversed and step dad was asking mom to give up one day of 4 per month with the child, dad would be the villian
Yes you are wrong! You already sound like you see his kid as a nuisance. He did the right thing, he probably felt that this wasn’t gonna be the first time you ask him NOT to get his kid. Yes, you deserve a break and alone time with your boyfriend but the way you went about it was all kinds of wrong. Especially asking the internet if you were wrong after you tell us how annoyed you are with his kid because you “care” for him the one day out of the week he is there without his dad. You just proved to him (and to us, the internet) that you already don’t care to be caring for his son. I’m sorry but he did the right thing choosing his kid over your selfish ass.
Why can’t they have alone time on Sunday when her ex has her kids since her current bf doesn’t have his son on Sundays .
Wow if you don’t have space for 5 kids then you shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. You are very wrong to ask him to not take his child
I would be livid if my partner asked me not to have my kids. I do think you are wrong. Maybe suggest them getting a hotel room or you go get one if you need alone time.
Girl i understand. You’re pregnant and you have kids to deal with. But he deals with your kids all the time…
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It’s Father’s Day weekend and he should spend it with his son
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I think doing those things for his son is part of being his girlfriend, mother and possibly a step mom to him-he obviously likes being there if he asked to live there… it’s okay to have a day alone together but he had a right to be upset because from your post it seems that he only sees his son on weekends and he wants that time.
His son is part of the package. U knew that when u met him so now ur about to have a baby together its a problem? U should be treating his kid like u would ur own.
I thought you said you don’t have room…so you have room for your kids and the new baby but not for his son from another woman…I think you are very selfish and maybe he should consider all that before he considers coming back!
So, you both need to sit down together and figure out how you will manage your lives together. Now you all are tied together for life. ( if I’m reading this correctly, the baby coming is your boyfriend’s)He was easy to dismiss you as his “ girlfriend” but you are about to be the mother of his child. You really need to figure out how you will resolve conflict. He can’t be a hot head and leave. I guess my question would be, are you all casual or serious? People need to stop acting as if parents don’t need breaks. You shouldn’t feel bad for needing one. Pregnancy affects people differently, people shouldn’t judge. Some people get very sick. They are even frequently hospitalized. Either way it takes a drastic toll on your body. Mental health is important.
The best advice, talk to your boyfriend and establish how things will be handled ongoing.
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Yes, you’re wrong. You were wrong and selfish when you called your own son “another mouth to feed” and claimed to be unable to support him for the summer. You sure could afford the fancy photoshoot glamour shots of yourself…and you’re more than wrong to ask a man to choose you over his son. Good for him. Shame on you…maybe you should seek birth control instead of more men. You gave up your kids to your ex…why are you having more??? And you may not like my opinion…but you posed the question.
You were wrong. If you genuinely care about a person, you would never ask him to not take his son, just so you can have a day with him. I get it, you may not see eachother a whole lot because of work, but in the end, his time with his son trumps all, especially considering he doesnt see him everyday like you see your kids. You have to put yourself in his shoes. If you only saw your kids as much as he sees his son, wouldn’t you get a little upset if he asked you to not take your kids just because he wanted alone time with you? That’s part of parenting. You find time in between… not put off other people or things for the time together. Honestly, i would of left too. That’s very selfish. Plus, as far as you complaining about having to take care of his kid? When you want to be commited to someone like that, his is yours, and yours is his. I would suggest you think about why your in that relationship. If his kid causes you this much grief, just by being his kid and being around… you are not the one for him.
If he’s at work all Saturday and you’re the one watching the kid, maybe see if he can switch it to Sunday so you have your Saturday and y’all can do something then. Pointless for the kid to come and he’s not there anyway
The problem is that you keep having kids. Because ones you start having kids you are a parent 24/7 one more think if you’re saying that you don’t have enough space the you live your kids with their dad and don’t have any more kids
He is a father first. How would you feel if your ex didn’t take your kids because the girl friend didn’t want them there that day. He’s right and you need to apologize
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He’s absolutely right. How would you feel roles reversed. It seems as if you’re having another child there should be room in your house for his child as well.