You obviously would have consulted him if you had the option to do so. You made a judgment call - the same one I would have made, fwiw. He’s being an ass. If you were selfish and only cared about yourself you’d have told the pregnant woman to go sleep behind a dumpster, but you opened your home to two people in need.
Not at all. Tell him what if the roles where reversed if something had happened to him and somehow you lost everything and pregnant. Would he not want someone to help you if you where in a bad place
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Mary Fleming Fitzcharles I agree
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I’m going to have to agree with many of the commenters here. He’s the problem. You made a calculated decision based on what you knew of her, and you were displaying basic human empathy. You did nothing wrong here.
Yes, the world is scary, but it doesn’t always have to be. A little kindness can go a long way, and I’m certain that poor woman will never forget your generosity.
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Hmm I thought people in the army weren’t allowed to do things like kick their pregnant wives out of the house. The homeless army wife should contact her husband’s superiors…he’s obligated to take care of her and their unborn child
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Sounds like he just wanted to fight . Maybe he’s just not happy in the relationship and was looking for a reason. I understand people are crazy. You do have to be careful but I would of did the same. Reevaluate your relationship.
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I don’t think you were wrong to help at all and since nothing happened he is definitely overreacting.
But from experience when I was pregnant an in the Army and I kicked my abusive soon to be ex husband out and he went to the JAG office on base they made me give him 1/3 of of my BAH or I would have been given an Article 15. The reason he only got 1/3 is because my daughter stayed with me. She should be able to get half or more depending on how many dependents he has, so if you’re still in contact with her tell her to do so ASAP they also made me give him 1 of my cars. Even though I paid for everything and his lazy arse wouldn’t get a job and if he did he spent it all on women, pot, and booze.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
People here are acting like you didn’t know her. I assume it’s like all other bases, the wives likely all know each other.
So was this someone you have no idea who it was? Was she on your base? Is his concern because this was in fact a stranger?
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Sounds like PDST. And your getting the brunt of it. Throw caution in the wind. Thank you for helping that soon to be mom.
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He’s using this as an excuse to say hurtful things to you he’s already felt before this situation came about is my guess. You couldn’t contact him, so it’s not like you could tell her I’m going to wait until my husband calls me to bring it up… She needed a place to stay right then. And, it’s more likely that someone you know and are close to you could be crazy and hurt you, so there’s that. You weren’t wrong. You are empathetic and wanted to help someone in need and if he can’t see anything more than that, he’s in the wrong. I mean, would haves and should haves don’t have merit anymore in this situation because you all seem to be safe and there are steps you can take to make sure you stay that way. My BIG advice is don’t allow her to receive mail there so it’s easy to ask her to leave should anything arise (because if she receives mail there it could establish residency and then you’ll have to serve her an eviction legally in a lot of states).
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Your husband is an arse
So what would have happened if the homeless woman husband had gotten mad and came to your house trying to break in? I understand that didn’t happen but what if. Now you have putting your family in danger trying to help out what seems to be a stranger.
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He sounds just like my husband, mine has never changed, get out sooner rather than later !
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He does make a point about her maybe of being a bad person …whom could of hurt u and the kids …thankfully she was a nice person but i def see where he coming from but he really dragging it
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Oh wow, sounds like he’s a real prize😬 yeah…That’s certainly not the kind of compassion or example I’d want set for little people in my life. Especially after he knows the story and still spews hatefulness Eeww.
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This story is sus af
There are plenty of options and resources available to her. Why didn’t she seek them?
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A: if she was married to a military man and 30 weeks pregnant…THERE’S NO WAY HE COULD KICK HER OUT!!! B: If your husband threw a fit, he has issues, and probably cheated…C:are you sure he was where he said he was…taking away their cell phones sounds a little suspicious…D: maybe it’s really his baby…this whole story sounds too coincidental…why was she not divorced…
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Personally, I am not bringing any person into my home that I do not know. I will not take any chances with my child. With that being said, you did a selfless thing. You helped someone who was completely down and out. That woman will always remember the kindness and love you showed her. Your husband does have a right to be upset about a stranger being in the home with you and his children. However, saying he wants nothing to do with you is too far, he shouldn’t treat you that way.
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Well a few things, if a man is kicking out his 30 week pregnant wife, that guy is a potential threat for you housing her. So I see where your husband’s concern is. How far hes taking it theres not enough context to know. But more importantly, for things like that next time, she has certain services as a dependent of a service member. You can contact the housing office or anyone in their chain of command and let them deal with the guy kicking his pregnant wife out. Hope it gets better 
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Sounds like an overreaction to me.
No not wrong at all and as for him there is no telling what he endured while in the field. He was probably shocked and just reacting not in a positive light to someone being in y’all’s home upon returning. He knows that he can’t take his phone with him 1. did you at least text or leave a vmail of allowing the young lady to stay until her mom comes. Also, this should have been brought to a superior by the young lady - it’s frowned upon (abusive partnership’s and throwing out civilian partners) trust AND she’s pregnant!
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He sounds like an asshole who needs to control everything. A good person would understand that you were simply helping someone out. Honestly…I’d leave him.
I agree with him. We can’t help everyone. There are resources. I wouldn’t bring a stranger into my home around my kids. She could have been crazy or her ex could have brought issues to your home.
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You are such a caring person, don’t let him take that away from you. I grew up in a military household. He is going to have to realize things don’t pause for him while he’s away. He needs to realize that when he’s gone and can’t talk to you, you are going to be making decisions for your family and that is something that’s been done since drafting (women votes on behalf of their husbands). Do I think that there’s a risk to taking in random people, yeah but she was pregnant and she wasn’t a risk. This is who you are and he needs to accept that he wasn’t there and you made the decision based on what you felt was best.
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While he has a point (that is, if you didn’t discuss it with him), he is taking it way overboard on wanting nothing to do with you and maybe this could be a sign to run from him as if he has outbursts like this, who knows how much worse it could be (as in, he could very well be a narcissist and you just don’t know it yet).
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Military wife’s stick together we ate support for each other when husband’s are deployed or in the field. You did the right thing if you knew for sure she was for sure a Military wife.
Sending you a hug
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I don’t know what it is to be a military wife but I can’t imagine it is easy. You had no way to contact your husband. I am assuming as there is no draft now that he has made a choice to pursue the military as his job. Seems you are understanding of this . He in turn needs to understand that in his absence you have to make decisions on your own. Respect for the circumstances that you each are in needs to be mutual. Remind him that you are supporting his choices and he needs to support yours otherwise part ways.
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Yes you were wrong! I would have taken the kids and left you. Safety of the family always comes first! And no one comes in a house unless both partners agree. I saw so much shit when I was married to the military, the spouses can be just as dangerous as the service members. What you did was reckless and dangerous and he has every right to be pissed.
Well… The letting the stranger in with your kids in your home was irresponsible in my opinion. But, That ain’t nothing to throw her out over… And props to you for helping that homeless woman…
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How would you react if while you were gone, your husband allowed a strange man to stay in your house with your children? I have to agree with your husband on this one. You took a huge risk and you’re lucky that nothing bad happened.
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I’m taking the side looking out for your children’s safety… DON’T BRING STRANGERS INTO YOUR HOME
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No you were helpful and it’s not your fault he can’t be reached you did a good good thing and him being in the military you’d think they’d teach them empathy but apparently not so sorry you’re married to someone like that hope it doesn’t bleed your way but you’re a good good human
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A military man who kicks out his 30 week pregnant wife sounds like a problem that they have together. She has resources through the base and the command. She is likely scared of him for a good reason.
We as military wives tend to stick together and help each other out.
Did your spouse over react? Maybe. We don’t know the full story and we don’t know his background.
I would ensure getting the wife the support she can receive through her husband’s command and through the base.
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I think ideally it would have been discussed but that wasnt an option. I understand his concern and being a little upset but you did a good thing helping this woman and he shouldnt be attacking you like he did.
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Kinda sounds like he was waiting for an excuse to blow his stack… I don’t think it’s about you taking her in at all, I think he just needed a reason to be pissed at you and to justify him not wanting anything to do with you. And I also think he knows the husband that kicked her out 
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I’m going too assume your husband probably knew the husband and was talking his side.
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Should have talk to him
I mean I see his concerns but I do feel he approached the situation in a very shitty aggressive manner that was not called for.
You were right , looks for this side that is just found a way to start an argument because he is hiding someone from you , just saying been in a similar spot and i’m praying you do what is right for YOU and only you and not change because of his immature BOY behavior
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Mmmm I’d be pretty pissed too. With the way this world is, you can’t trust most people.
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Write him a letter with your why.
He’s overreacting. Nothing bad happened. You were able to help someone in need and you learned a valuable lesson for the future…in case this scenario happens again. I’d be more worried about the red flags his reaction is raising. Seems like he may be more dangerous than the 30 weeks pregnant girl.
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No he is over reacting
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I’m iffy about this one…why was she kicked out? Also when you’re sharing a home with someone, their opinion is valid. But i do get you weren’t doing it out of malice…you were just trying to help
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He over reacted a little bit but it is dangerous to bring strangers into your home with your kids
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I think he has a point about the kids, but I also think you did the right thing about taking her in, that’s human kindness at it’s greatest and it’s fantastic that there’s people out there who still do that. And as for him tripping and not talking to you, that sounds overboard. Obviously your kids weren’t hurt or touched.
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Seriously guys she made a choice to help a military wife who is pregnant and abused if he has an issue with that than that’s on him! He was gone with no communication so she made a choice. I am sure that if any thing felt off she wouldn’t of did it! I live with a friend and over the winter this person moved two ppl into the house from the min I met this persons I knew that they were horrible ppl my instincts kicked in and told my friend that I don’t feel comfortable with them being here. Turns out I was right the girl was crazy and the dude was just as crazy if not more
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I mean ngl I’m kind of with your husband on this. I’m not an army wife, but I have seen several comment on other posts and explain that in the military you can not simply boot your spouse. There’s a whole process that has to be gone through before that can occur… So that alone seems very fishy to me. If it was just you, that’s different but the fact that there is children in the house is what made that very irresponsible.
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No strangers in the home with your kids!!! That’s my opinion. She was kicked out for a reason, she got herself into her situation.
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While I believe it was a risk to bring someone random at home and I would have been upset at the risk, I still wouldn’t blow up like that. That mama needed help and you helped her. You showed compassion and kindness in a world that can be dark and lonely.
I’m sorry but at least you know you did a good deed and you’re a good person not most people would do that at the end of the day you’ve got the facilities to help others and you’ve got a good heart there’s not a lot of people left who have a good heart but in the side of thinking that the woman was kicked out is that but there is places that could help her and the army should have helped her with the situation as well after supposed to help people were married into the army when you’re married into the army to someone who served the army has facilities to help any situation and they’re supposed to the army has all types of support lines for family members or someone who is married to someone who is serving just thought I would say that as I know about the army and the military forces. .
Ask him what if that woman would have been his Mom,sister, niece etc. That might not have been the first thing you should have done but you followed your heart. Thank you 
For y’all saying “she should have asked him” need to learn to READ. They had no way to contact. She even stated she would have asked but they had no contact so she couldn’t even ask. So she weighed the options and chose what she thinks was best.
The pregnant girl wasn’t homeless off the street. She was kicked out of her home off base. Same base this military wife is at. I’m sure OP vetted her story first before just allowing her around the kids.
OPs husband is acting childish because he didn’t get a say……. Because there was no contact.
He seems ignorant at the least and both men in this story seem entitled af.
OP, please contact the pregnant woman’s husbands sergeant and report him as he cannot legally kick her out. That is her home and his legal obligation to take care and provide for them. And tell your husband if he wants “nothing to do with you” after this then he can kick rocks with pregnant woman’s pos man. SMH.
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Something else is going on here with your husband, deeper issue or he’s looking for any excuse to make a problem where one doesn’t exist as an excuse to get out of the relationship. You did the right thing. If he had an ounce of compassion, he would be singing your praises for being a good human. His reaction honestly is abusive. Not okay in any way, shape or form. Sometimes we gotta call the shot, without our spouse in emergency type situations which this qualifies as. He’s wrong. I would have done the same thing as you, no hesitation. If my spouse reacted in that way, I would be appalled. On top of it, he’s also gaslighting you, and playing sick mind games, much the same way that narcissistic person does. Does he check off the boxes for narcissistic personality disorder? Or any other type of personality disorder? Does he have an anger problem? Like he needs to go get anger management therapy for. I would be digging deep for this type of answers. If there is a yes to any of it, then buckle up, it’s a very wild ride and not in a good way. Look into Tina Swithin resources. She’s on major social media platforms, she’s an author (her books in various formats are available on Amazon) she also has a website and a membership based forum that one can join. There are SO many red flags 
about this man. Please please educate yourself about what his behaviors mean so you can plan accordingly and protect yourself. Something major is off with him.
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Your Man is a controlling , narcissistic AH.
You did a good and kind thing.
Now you know what YOU married.
Get counceling…but plan for a future without him with his boot on your neck.
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I mean…did you know her? If not I would have been pretty upset.
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She did the right thing but she should have tried her best to communicate with her husband before hand. Also I would have tried to find a back up person from another Army wife with plans to encourage this abused pregnant Army to find safe shelter to prepare for the birth of her baby.
He over reacted and you under thought. Your both at fault. Should of helped her to a woman’s shelter…
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Something deeper is going on with him. What does he mean “u only take yourselves into consideration?” Ummmm, exactly how did u benefit by this situation? You literally were trying to do the right thing.
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Mil spouse here: He has a point you did not know this person at all and you did put your kids and yourself at risk. Survivor bias doesn’t make it ok bc nothing happened this time. Was it nice of you to want to help someone in need… yes but you have to take your families personal safety into account when helping others. Next time you could put her in a hotel for a day or two while she gets in contact with assistance. That doesn’t put your physical safety at risk. Youre so lucky things turned out ok. I like helping people too but I had to realize I had a family whose safety comes first.
As for your husband not talking to you he may be processing or unable to say anything to you bc he’s just that upset. He expects his partner to keep the rest of the family safe within reason. He literally could’ve come home to all of you injured or dead. I bet Now he’s second guessing if he can trust you to do that. It may be time to get into marriage counseling bc this is a big deal.
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In the future if a military spouse needs help for any reason especially abuse
militaryonesource.mil
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I certainly appreciate your caring heart and your willingness to help a person in their time of need. Especially, a pregnant military spouse that has made sacrifices by leaving her family, hometown and support groups to be with her soldier, marine or sailor.
Remember that on 9/11 many American flights were grounded outside the USA and strangers were welcomed into homes all over the world in the hours & days that followed. Sometimes, we just need to be kind.
Your husband needs to be more understanding.
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Sounds like there is more to the relationship. Usually when someone says “you never take anyone else into consideration”, there is a pattern of that. I personally would not have put a stranger in my home. I would have bought a motel for her. You both need to sit down and better communicate. He prob is also dealing with some ptsd stuff as well.
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Finding a person in need and helping them is kind. Bringing them into your home is dangerous I would have been mad too. You could have put your children at risk. What if the man came looking for her and you put your own kids in harms way. Helping her get a hotel would have been a more reasonable thing to do.
Sometime having a kind heart can put you in dangerous Situations without you even realizing.
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He took it way to far, huge red flags that he wants nothing to do with you. I do understand to a degree, but to end your relationship over helping someone is controlling. You need to decide if you really want to be in a narcissistic relationship once he calms down. A marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship.
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Yes you are wrong he is 100% right! You dont know that woman you dont know what shes capible of pregnant or not. I dont blame him for been mad at you. You could of at least talked to him before doing that! I get you wanna do something “good” but this is just crazy bringing a stranger in YALLS home! Id never let NOBODY i dont know move in with me homeless or not my life means more to me then that. How do you know shes not a killer or doing that to set you up?
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He is looking for a reason to fight. What you did was the right thing!
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I’m going to be the odd man out and say I agree with the husband. I do not like strangers in my house. He is away for Long periods, and has to rely of his wife that their kids are protected. If I can home and someone I didn’t know was in my house with my kids I’d be upset also. There were other options to help her, put her in a hotel, find a shelter to take her. But letting a complete stranger in my house around my kids is a no go.
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Both these men are assholes. Kicking a pregnant wife out and giving their wife a hard time about helping someone out is just awful
The man was right, should’ve taken her to a homeless shelter.
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You did a very kind thing.
Your husband does have a point. It was a decision that needed to be made between the two of you. Or at least send him a message so when he gets his phone back, he isn’t caught off guard when he comes home
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I mean I’d need more details but I’d be upset if I was him too probably. From what you’ve said it sounds like you barely know the person and just blindly believe anything theyve told you because it’s a sad/tragic story. 
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Something that should have been discussed IMO!
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What an asshole. And God bless you for looking out for a pregnant woman . I thought military families were supposed to look out for each other?
Nothing to do with you though? Based off the situation alone, that seems pretty extreme. But like others have said there has to be more to the story
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You did a kind thing and the right thing he was wrong he’s looking for a fight I’m so sorry 
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You should have gotten a organization to help you but your husband is overreacting. He might have PTSD
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She need to contact his division and let them know what he did. They will help her. Just because vehicle in his name don’t mean she can’t take. His baby and wife his responsibility. But on your case. He should not have handled it that way. I would wonder what he’s up to.
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Did you know her personally. How long was her stay, did she help out financially, too many variables to make a proper decision
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I’m sorry but I agree with your husband. That’s a big no for me.
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You did the right thing!
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I have to say your husband is right, I am pretty sure she could go somewhere on base to get help, their are always two sides to this story
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Um…there is more to this one time incident on his part . Sounds like an excuse to get out of it.
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I understand him being upset, but to be absolutely angry and no longer wants to talk?? Um no, that was very wrong on his part.
My husband would have been upset, but he would have eventually understood, and he wouldn’t have stopped talking to me about it. What you did was right and him saying you never think of anybody but yourself is a lie, because you did think the homeless pregnant woman.
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I mean, communication is everything.
Especially about bug things.
No. If it had been you who was homeless, wouldn’t you pray that someone would help you out??
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You were not wrong by any means! And you’re a selfless person to do what you did.
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As someone who does shit like that all the time. Nta. Your husband has a point regarding safety but overall that’s a gross overreaction on his part.
I definitely don’t let people into my home with my children but you do you
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I can probably understand where your husband is coming from in terms the safety of your children but the whole not being able to bring his cellphone and his reaction for you helping someone with good intentions in beyond my comprehension. I hate to say this but he lacks emotional intelligence. How your husband reacted reminded me of my ex. Anything I did he would look for an excuse to put the blame on me wether I thought I did the right thing or not. He sounds like a full blown narcissist. I’d check in with a couples counseling if you still what to continue with a guy like him. If it was me I would end the relationship right away. My peace matters more. As for the lady you did what you thought was best but I probably would have offer a hotel stay for a day or two since you do live with your children and I would have called a social worker for resources. I would probably also inform chief in command.
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I would imagine the army/base would find a means to help her. They are generally very good about that. I do agree that this should have been mentioned even if in a letter in the mail. He is generally
Concerned for his family and their safety. I think his reaction was a little intense unless there’s more occurrences or more to the story. Always communicate with partner esp when children are involved.
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Is sounds he had some issues we was looking for an exit
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its a hard place cuz yes u did right thing but yes its a bad thing and u just never know people
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I understand couples need to discuss shit, but the man had no communication with anyone,. Instead of being a hot head, sit down with your wife and discuss it.
If the hubby doesn’t feel right with this lady in the house then you help her get somewhere safe.
Some people need to get their heads out of their asses! We need more people in this world that care.
I hope none of you people ever get stuck on the streets and have no where to go.
If he wants a say… Then he has to be available. U did the human thing thank you
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He is overreacting but not knowing what services are available to the woman I probably would have done the same thing.
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No you was not wrong. I would be concerned with husbands response. Kind of seems he was shocked to see her. He may know her and she knew him. He may be afraid of what she told you.
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He sounds like a freaking 1diot 
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I understand his concern but what were you supposed to do?
I would have just referred her to resources. I could never bring a stranger into my home, especially with kids. My husband would be mad too
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