I understand him being upset but he was away and unavailable. I probably would have helped her too. I am sure you have to make a lot of decisions without him and you both have to make sacrifices. Thank you. Thanks for the sacrifices your entire family has to make for us. Over and over.
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Well you do need to consider other things before you invite strangers into your home. There are places and agencies to specifically assist with homelessness. Your spouse may have overreacted a bit but if my partner has done the same thing I know I would be very upset too.
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I would have done the same thing. Always be cautious. If you have a peace about it, then you should do it. And I would encourage her to report it to his commander.
No. You did a kindness to someone, from your heart. If he can’t see that as a good quality in you then he doesn’t deserve you. It sounds like he seized this as an excuse to dump you. It’s hard to believe that the military makes families go no contact for weeks. He’d probably been planning his exit for a while.
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I understand being upset I’m not big on strangers around kids, as your spouse he probably feels disrespected but he shouldn’t have blew up like that he could’ve talked calmly like an adult
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Wouldn’t the army had helped her?? Her baby’s daddy is also in the army. Idk if he can do this without severe repercussions. That was kind of you but could have ended very differently.
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He sounds like the crazy one….
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So basically you by force HAVE to make decisions on your own when he is gone? When he can’t be reached? If anything major happened with you or your children, you have to make all decisions and figure it out? Bc he is gone and unreachable? Except for what it really means is IF HE APPROVES, yet you and your children are still left alone to hold everything down? 
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Yes. He’s right. You were wrong.
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Sounds like he was waiting for an excuse.
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I get his point of view but I don’t think he’s right. You did what you thought was right and showed compassion to a fellow human being. The world needs more people like you.
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He’s wrong. He is dead wrong.
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I know you said no phones, but even when I was in the military and I’ve been out for 10 years now, everyone always took their phones. You have a heart, but I wouldn’t have done that, I don’t think you just think about you, but you never know what other peoples intentions are. I think he is right to be upset, you know people can be crazy. As for the army wife, she should contact the CoC and get it situated, the husband cannot just kicked her out while pregnant or at any time.
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This day and age you never know how someone is…I completely agree with him. She could of hurt you and your family or lied set you up and yall got hurt by someone eles. You don’t just bring someone in your own home especially with kids and if he is paying the bills and supporting yall he has a right to know beforehand before you invite a stranger in his home around his kids. Your in the worng and that’s that
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As a mom I get where he’s coming from but you as a woman and mother your self was looking out for a fellow mom and was only trying to help he shouldn’t get mad just tell u next time to talk to him first.my husband did the same thing and invited a marine friend to move in with us and he didn’t ask Me and it was the worst he would shave in the sink and not clean up after himself and I would have to do it I told him tell his friend I’m not his mom or maid if he was going to stay with us he needs to clean up after him self it took months to get rid of him.
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Girl !!! He is absolutely right, you do not take STRANGERS to your place specially if you have kids , I will freak out too if I return to my place to find out that my spouse has taken a completely stranger in.
I know your intentions were good but still . Next time you can help with trying to find resources for the person in need
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Why are women ever surprised by the outrageous behaviour of military personnel? 
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Why couldn’t the army office help this lady out?
Surely they have resources for marriage breakdown?
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Sounds to me like he is looking for a reason to dump you!
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He’s wrong and was looking for an excuse to blow up at you.
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He was unreachable, so for him to get mad about you not talking to him, how did he expect that??!?! She isn’t staying forever just until her mom comes. How can he say you only thought of yourself? You wouldn’t be In this situation if you were only thinking of yourself! He’s being a jerk! Plain and simple 
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No you were not wrong, you did a wonderful thing. He doesn’t like it because he didn’t get a say. He’ll get over it, he needs to grow up . 
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You were being a good human being. I’m proud of you as he should have been. Especially since she was a military wife
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This is a difficult situation.
When your spouse is TDY or down range, we as spouses need to make decisions on our own.
If there were a homeless pregnant woman in the local area and I knew my spouse valued all my decisions, then yes, I would take her in.
If my spouse was skeptical of my decisions , then I would do my best to find assistance for said pregnant woman.
This woman said that her husband said “she only thinks of herself”, then this must be something that has happened before. Not necessarily a pregnant person, but a situation similar where the wife has done something without her husband’s approval.
Then the husbands anger is uncalled for. An asserted apology should be accepted, along with communication that the wife won’t do anything without taking into consideration, her family.
End of argument.
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Your both right in points… he’s right that you should have asked… your right for trying to help someone in need… not fair for hin to be losing his shit tho
If that last part was true, you wouldn’t have helped someone like you did. I understand his concerns, but I also think you did a really kind thing and she will never forget it. If you didn’t have a way to contact him, how were you supposed to discuss it with him? They’re your kids too and you also get a say in what you do regarding them. I’m sure he will get over it with time and you will be fine.
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Sounds nuts i would hve done the same thing for anyone
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He is dramatically overreacting. I’d say either more is bothering him than this instance or the stress of his job is bleeding over into the rest of his life.
You did the right thing Mama. Thank you.
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He’s very wrong. He was not accessible and it is your home too. Does he not trust your judgment? He needs to reevaluate himself.
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He acts like you cheated on him, he’s being real harsh. Maybe he cheat while he was gone
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Im honestly shocked at how many of you think its okay to NOT communicate with your partners.
Yes you were trying to do the right thing out of the kindness of your heart but you should have spoken with your partner prior (whether he was available or not, should have waited) to bringing her in to yours and your familys home. You have children you need to especially worry about it and anything could of happen.
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You weren’t wrong but it seems like your husband was looking for a way out of the marriage and this was his excuse
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Wow that’s way out of line i understand that yes you could have out your family in risk but it was absolutely the right thing to do is you were able 
god knows men’s heart remind him of that we are not to turn our back on the poor 
we are no better for we all come from dirt and their we shall return …… he has something else fueling his fire did he has a personal relationship threw work with her husband maybe ?
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Did you know her? Or was she a complete stranger. Stranger? Then yes in the wrong. Esp since you have kids.
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I mean… you 100% should have discussed it with him since it’s also his and his children’s home. The last comment you made makes me wonder how often you do make decisions without him because this is a HUGE one! I think his reaction is valid. Especially if you do this type of decision making on your own regularly. For the sake of myself and my kids I would be concerned enough to leave honestly… she very well could have been a nutcase!
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It seems like a trend So now what are you homeless as well because it says “He wants nothing to do with you now” 
Are the men suffering from PTSD
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Sounds like he has “issues”. He needs counseling. There are family services available for thus pregnant woman. And for you, too. Look into them.
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He is worried about your safety when he is gone, BUT he has totally overreacted. He should be proud that you helped another wife.
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I understand why you did what you did but he is right. You can’t trust anyone these days. He was looking out for you and his children as he should. Always discuss things with your partner.
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I see it as a 2 sided coin yes U did the rite thing however if U didn’t no her or anything about her it may have not turned out well for U Nd ur family
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Your husband is cruel and is over reacting!
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If it’s a complete stranger, I agree. That is dangerous.
How long did she stay with you? Hours? Days? Weeks?
How long had she’d been staying with you by the time he found out? Why didn’t you let him know some lady was staying at your house? *Disregard this question since it’s already been answered : Had you had several conversations with him and just never mentioned her?
Do you have children?
Is she in an abusive relationship? Does he know her husband? Is he dangerous?
I think he could have a valid reason to be upset depending on more information on the situation.
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He was looking forna way out and using this as an excuse in my opinion. She didn’t sound like a complete stranger as you knew she was a homeless army wife and you’re an army wife, so I feel like you felt a connection. He can be worried for your safety which is understandable but threatening you is out of bounds. But I would need more info. Like was this person completely a stranger beforehand and have you made dangerous decisions without him often. I’m just hoping you did know this woman.
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What you did was very nice, but you did put yourself and your children in a somewhat unsafe situation, and that is why he is probably so upset, I would have personally done a background check before letting someone I didn’t know come to my house. Plus what if her husband came and started shit and went crazy there are so many worse case scenarios that could have happened thank god they didn’t happen, but you should really think before doing anything
He’s making a big deal on all the what’s if that didn’t happend. You did a good thing helping her out if you hadn’t who knows what would have happend to her . Your husband will never understand bc he’s not a women let him throw his fit your kids will grow up to be kind and help others when in desperate need you’re a good mama
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The wife that was kicked out, should have called her husband’s commanding officer report her husband. He would have to stay in the barricks while she could stay in their home until her mom could come get her. The military own their soldiers. The husband would also be required to go to marriage counseling. The military have high standards for their soldiers.
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That’s a hard one. I do agree it is dangerous but I believe he should have a little compassion as well. She was in your group and I should think you Do know her enough to know she’s not dangerous. The fact that HE wants nothing to do with you is what concerns me. Why would he end your relationship so easily and quickly. I think that would be the main question here. Maybe he was looking for an excuse to get out of y’all’s marriage. You both are in the wrong and I think you both need to sit down and talk like mature adults to work it out. Sounds like there’s more to his than you having a soft and caring heart.
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He needs to realize that your marriage is a partnership and when he’s away at work, especially with no communication link you’re going to be making decisions. I grew up in a Navy family and when my dad was out to sea my mom was 100% in charge. There was none of this “wait until your father gets home” she handled it all. A strong wife/husband and mother/dad takes on that role when married to a military service person. It’s not for the weak
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I would have done the same.
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yes should have talked to hubby
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No your not in the wrong your amazing for helping her and trusting your own judgement which seems like he has an issue himself trusting which isn’t ok. I’ve been homeless before and honestly would have helped so much of I had someone like you just randomly help me. Thank you for helping her and making sure she was ok and gave her shelter. I understand him worrying about you an your childrens safety that understanding bit he’s clearly over reacting and seems like he just looking for an excuse to leave which if that’s the case then bye you don’t need a selfish person like that we need more people like you in the world. 
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No phone. Maybe military. You need to make decisions when he’s gone
When he’s gone next time make a list of support people and army personnel
With husband/ partner make a list of to dos and exceptions.
I agree with you.
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I’m sure it has to do with the fact he’s probably friends with her husband
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Man, if my husband did not trust my judgment enough to make these kind of calls and decisions while he is away then we would have bigger issues than this.
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I don’t think your wrong at all. You should be applauded for your kindness and generosity. Wish more were like you. Bless your wonderful heart.
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Sorry, you’re wrong. You don’t move someone into your home no matter how temporary without discussing it with your spouse.
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I’d be furious you put a stranger in my kids home. But I’d I’d have found another way to help the woman. But not in my home.
You werent wrong, but you werent right… your husbands reaction isn’t wrong or right either…
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I don’t think you’re wrong at all but she should have called his commanding officer or first Sgt. If she had posted about being kicked out on one of the local military spouses pages it would have been really easy for her to get in touch with the Key Spouse who would have been able to help her with all that of she didn’t know who to contact. The military would have made him leave the house and her stay in it. That was horrible conduct on his part and hopefully he gets some type of LOR or an AR-15 of some sort from his command.
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40 years ago a fellow sailor asked my husband if his wife could she staywith us til housing was thru bad will never do again she stole a check wrote it for 250 the bank cashed it and she ran away with a drummer
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Legally the service member cannot kick her out of the home. She needs to contact his CoC and let them know what’s going on. If anything, they’ll move him into the barracks. BAH is to provide housing for spouses.
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I would have done it also but your husband sounds like a jerk.
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No your not. But I see where he’s coming from at the same time
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Also, doesn’t the military have programs to assist?
Idk what I would do in that situation
No you’re not wrong and don’t think of just yourself. Your husband is being unreasonable and you did what you felt was right. Your husband needs to cool tf down and realise what you did, was out of the kindness of your heart. Tbh it sounds like he is looking for a reason to treat you the way he is.
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I understand it could have been frightening to him to have a stranger in the home with his children, and he wasn’t aware. BUT you couldn’t contact him, you did a compassionate thing for a pregnant mum to be when her so called husband kicked her on the streets, and I’m sure you would have been hyper aware a stranger was in the home with your children. While I understand him being upset, his reaction, was a bit over the top and horrible towards you !! You’re not in the wrong !
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He’s probably battles with her hubs in some form. That said, he just said he doesn’t trust you. He doesn’t trust your judgement. That’s the problem.
I get her was in the field. It sucks out there. However, that’s behavior is a massive redflag & you 2 need to talk seriously bc if you don’t clear this up, I’m telling you from experience, more problems will arise.
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I think it’s part of the military life, to help one another. I’ve taken in homeless out of my ex husband’s platoon when we were together and he stood by me on the decision to help them. We have 5 kids together. That’s saying alot for someone who is not the kindest person.
Sounds like he has his own battles to deal with and taking it out on you.
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No you were helping someone in need
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No you weren’t wrong
If your husband wants to be considered in every decision made advise him he must regardless of any circumstances not only be contactable at all times but able to have lengthy discussions. If he says this is not possible then let him know he must respect the choices you make in his absence as you cant be dictated to by a person unavailable to give their opinion.
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You have to make decisions and cannot get ahold of him. Some decisions can’t wait. If he wants to be consulted he SHOULD give you a way to contact him! What if it were something else? Something more important or immediately needing a decision?
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You can’t trust anyone. She could’ve made up a story to get someone to “help” her then rob you or worse. I used to be someone who helped anyone. I’ve given the coat off my back before without a spare. I’ve learned through life you can’t be that generous. Many people will use & abuse you. I hope your generosity was truly needed & she’s thankful. But it can come back & bite you.
I don’t agree with your husband giving you the silent treatment as punishment. That’s emotional abuse. But I do agree with him that you shouldn’t have taken her in.
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I wouldn’t risk it you never know women also murder and kidnap kids. He has right be upset you did that flip it how would you like to come home and he’s got some random male in the house
Yes. As a military wife myself, there’s a lot wrong here. If he kicked her out at 30 weeks pregnant, her husband could have been NJP’d, the command would have made him stay in the barracks before they would have ever forced her to leave so yeah the fact that you brought a stranger in your home that you didn’t know off Facebook is kinda dumb. How many people lurk in the shadows on a Facebook and pray on the unsuspecting? You may have been trying to do the right thing, but your family in a pretty precarious situation. It’s easy to fake being married to a man in the military on a Facebook group post. I’m sure you shared some personal information in this other group and while yes; we should stick together, you also need to be a hell of a lot smarter than bringing a stranger into your home that you know nothing about that you met off Facebook around your kids without your husband being involved in that situation.
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I see his point of view but I also see yours and in all honesty I probably would have done the same thing. But you have to be careful with having people that served in your home because they do have a lot of trauma that people don’t know about and will never understand. Unless you actually serve and see the things that they have seen or been through the things they have been through been through you have to be careful. And if he is in that field he knows what happens and what goes on and hes worried about your safety and your children’s safety and I understand why he would be extremely worried.
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I can see his point.but you are an empath and you care! This one is a hard one.
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There’s more to this, if a fellow pregnant army wife was kicked out, all she had to do was make one phone call to her husband’s chain of command. The husband would have been couch surfing and she would have been able to stay in her home until her mom was able to pick her up.
If your husband doesn’t trust your judgement then y’all have some serious things to figure out if he’s active duty. All active duty wives must make decisions while their spouse is deployed or “unreachable”.
There should be a military wife support group in base to help you navigate these situations. Military life is different.
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She can contact the red cross on post ,and they can help with temporary housing. If she still needs a place to stay.
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First of all the armed forces wouldn’t allow enlisted personnel to treat their spouse like this…if he “threw” her out she has the right to go his commanding officer…if she is “homeless” take her to the base where he is stationed!
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Neither of you are wrong, you did a good thing and he has a right to be concerned, upset
If I’d had been him I would have bent you over my knee and paddled that ass then after I chewed on you a bit more I’d have bent you over my knee AGAIN… You do not ever bring a stranger off Facebook…or anywhere into your home when you have kids. Not only is it not your responsibility, you could have put your kids in jeopardy. She may really have been a good person🤷♀️ but what if she wasnt… Your husband has 1000% right to be pissed and think you made a poor decision. There is I’m sure 50 McDonald’s in the area she could have sat I side out of weather and waited for whomever… and if you was that worried you could have waited there with her. I would question your judgment too. This isn’t 1980 when we slept with doors open and let strangers come and go with a lick and a smile… this is times of child trafficking and murder put on social media for likes! I absolutely feel your empathy, I get the need to help others and do good!! But dang woman!!! Not in your home where you have children. I don’t spank my kids btw… but if I was your Mom I would yours! Now imagine me scolding you while wagging my finger at you, pacing back and forth…then busting out bawling pulling you in for a dramatic tear felt hug… you are a good soul NOW STOP IT! You need to reassure your husband you realize it wasn’t the best choice and you won’t do it again, and mean it. He’s mad because he LOVES you!!!
Well how long did she end up staying? Helping someone is one thing but letting them move in for extended period of time is something else. Like if it was only for a week or two okay but more than that is not cool.
You were not wrong at all but he is
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i understand why you did it. i wouldn’t have had her in my house, i would have put her up in a motel or helped her make arrangements.
the army doesn’t GAF about the way spouses are treated. i saw that first hand with my sister. ZERO respect.
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I can see where he is coming from because I was innthe navy, and let me tell yiu there were so many crazy people including spouses. But he felt betrayed his feelings are valid. Your feelings are also valid since you couldn’t contact him even if you wanted to. You could have helped her pay for a hotel though and I think that would have been less of a reaction? There’s a lot to unpack honestly. I see both points and I could really see it having gone slightly better executed
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I think his concern is legitimate because there are some crazy fucks out there and he didnt know her. But also think he blew it out of proportion. I’d be concerned with someone who lacked that much empathy.
Sometimes (many times…) God answers someone’s prayers through us. I know it’s a crazy world we live in but I would have done the same. It takes a village.
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You kinda did take him into consideration because he wasn’t home. And I probably would have let her stay too. How long until her moms comes tho? Idk about military but from wahy everyone be saying she shouldn’t have been able to be kicked out. So she should check into that
I 1000000000000% agree with him. My husband is deployed in iraq and I still tell him what we do and when we do and discuss things.
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What if she lied & the baby is his .
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I believe you (and everyone else) has intuition for a reason. I also believe you had great intentions with your selfless act of kindness. Many are right, you don’t know. But… you helped and for that, thank you. I’ve made great friends that I still haven’t physically met through FB. I’ve offered women experiencing DV a safe place in my home. We need more people like you for humanity’s sake.
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This is a hard situation. I probably would have taken her in for a day or two but would have been tops. I also would have had her contact his chain of command because she does have rights. Also if she’s listed as a dependent there are organizations that could have helped her too.
Sounds like you and your husband need to have a calm sit down discussion.
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No good deed goes u punished 
sorry you’re going through this 
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You are NOT wrong!!! You are a caring person who probably saved a life ( or two). He needs to chill… or go to therapy. Hopefully both. Time to sit down with him and talk… seriously
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I agree with him. Imagine if he did it without talking to you.
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I believe you did the right thing by helping her I would’ve done the same thing
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NO. In my eyes you did the right thing
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