I’ve been dating a guy for a year. He moved in with me at the beginning of our relationship and we split the bills. My 3 children live at home and we get his son 8 days out of the month, due to my boyfriend’s work schedule. This past Friday, we got into a big argument. He was working an hour away and that day he brought his son to work with him. On the way home, he stopped at McDonald’s to buy his son food. I was upset that he bought his son food and not my kids. He didn’t even offer to. I always include his son as one of my own children. I do not treat him any different than I do my kids. We got in an argument because this wasn’t the first time this happened and I’ve expressed my feelings to him about it already. I was mad, so I left to go to the bar to play darts. It was innocent. When I cooled down, I went home. We didn’t talk the next day. That night, I went to the casino with my girl friends and when I got home, he was packing his vehicle with his things. He wouldn’t have a conversation with me. He told me he would come back the next day to get more of his things. When he came back, he got everything out of the house, but said he’d be back the next day with a trailer to get the bigger stuff that was outside. He never came back (it’s been 3 days). He changed his status on fb to single, but he never changed his profile or background picture of us. I love him and miss him terribly. I’ve reached out to him a few times, with no reply. My question is, was I wrong for expecting him to buy my kids food when he bought his son’s? Also, should I move on? I don’t know what to do.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Was I wrong to expect my boyfriend to buy my kids food too?
He’s already packed up … let him go.
Let him go let him goooooo
Why would you want him if he won’t even do right by your kids??
Okay you tried reaching out now wait for a response if he doesn’t respond. Mayne next thing pick battles a little better. He was an hour away from whatever picked his kid uo and got him food on the way home. If that upset go buy your kids food
I wouldn’t of been mad because he only sees his son 8 days outta the month. Each child should be allowed individual and special times with their parent. But if he’s gonna leave after one argument then let him go
Ehhh this is tricky, normally I’d say yes, but since he was an hour away with only his son, I can see why he didn’t necessarily stop and grab them food. If he came home and ate it in front of them, yes I’d be mad, but if he and his son stopped and had dinner together, then I don’t see an issue since they were so far away. If your son was with them and he didn’t buy him food, then he’d be the jerk, but this seems kind of an overreaction on your part honestly.
you’re not wrong … move on and give him a deadline to remove anything else of his …
Major RED FLAG, you and your children deserve better. It goes without saying a DECENT MAN would have automatically included you and your children. Be glad he is out and you have a opportunity to find yourself, or a good man.
You’ve been dumped. You are lucky because he is an asshole. He should have never moved in with you. He does not love your kids like his own. Do not let him return. He does not treat you well. I’m sorry.
Were the kids with him? If so then thats wrong but if it was just him and his son then i see nothing wrong with it. Also you leaving and not staying home to talk to him about it didnt help so i kinda dont blame him … i say let it go and learn from this…
Give him a deadline to get his stuff or you’re gonna drag it to the curb. Block him on all social media and move on. He’s not even good to your kids? And he moved out over an argument about McDonald’s? This man is not worth your tears. Heal then find someone who is good to all four of you.
So u went and played darts and went to the casino? Did he look after your kids when u went out?
No you were not wrong in thinking he should have bought food for your children, however instead of running off to a bar to play darts, why didn’t you take your children out to McDonald’s or some other place to get them some food. Don’t say you were broke because if you had money to go to a bar you could have used it on your children.
Move on to a better man find someone who’s going to love you and your kids
Most definitely he should have bought everyone food
I’m sorry but he’s gone
You made your choice by making it a big deal and leaving to the bar and with your friends
Yes it was rude of him
But was it worth that big of a deal that you risked losing him???
He’s gone
You just got to move on
Heck no treating your kids differently they deserve better
I don’t think a fight over McDonald’s is something to break up over honestly. Also you leaving the house to cool down and go to a bar then a casino wasn’t a good idea. I’d hope someone was with the kids. You should have talked it out. And him moving out so fast just shows it was already in his mind to do it he was just looking for an excuse. I’d say good riddance and hope you find someone better
He sounds like an impetuous five year old. You should probably count your blessings and move on.
Run as fast as you can
If it was just him and his son, no big deal, but if they brought the food home and was eating it in front of you and the children then yes, I would be mad
He had his son with him at work maybe his son was just hungry🤷 Then you yelled and stormed out. He packed up now let it go.
I’m more concerned that you moved a man into the house with your and your kids at the very begining of your relationship.
If he left this easily, then
Definitely sounds like you should move one because clearly he doesn’t want to do for your kids and he can’t just be with you and not your children. My husband while we where dating was doing for my daughter before he even met her(buying school clothes , food, toys etc.) Im sorry you had to go thro that, that guy sounds childish. Don’t waste anymore time or emotions on him, he doesn’t miss you as much as you miss him, cry a good cry and let his ass go. Don’t let no man treat your children like second best.
You & your kids deserve better
I’ve bought my kids food that was with me at the time and not the others. You lost me at got mad went to the bar and the next day casino I’d probably packed my stuff too. Sounds like you caused a fight to run around
He was an hr away with his child. Nothing wrong with one on one dinners or outings with his child. And he only sees his sons 8 days out of a whole month, so he can rightfully so do things with just his son.
I will only take my oldest son out to lunch for dates, one on one time. And bring nothing for the others, and vice versa.
I believe you just leaving and going to play darts, then the casino. That was overreacting and petty. Communication is HUGE!
He was ready to move out!
Move on. Also, it wasn’t wrong of him to feed his son when he was an hour away from the house.
Why move on that’s immaturity at its finest!! My husband has never done some BS like that with the kids or grandbabies he gets food he gets for all!! I wouldn’t miss that move on !!
Was it just him and his son on an outing and they stopped to eat? If so, I wouldn’t expect him to bring food back for everyone. Now, if he brought food back for the two of them and ate at the house, that would be different. Who watched your children on the nights you went out?
Move on to someone that will treat yours like his own
No you weren’t wrong and honestly let him go … he isn’t worth it if he is going to run when shit hits the fan
well it would be different if the kids were with him but they were at home.
Move on… he sounds very childish when things don’t go hes way. He should of rang and offered at least, as you have voiced concerns before on same issues. Think of it the trash taking itself out for you. You don’t want a manchild that treats family differently.
Let him stay gone…you’re better off if that’s how he acts
Look at it as a blessing…he was ready to be single anyway!
So you left him with your kids after he didnt buy them food not one night but 2 nights when you were mad for not treating your kids equally talk about mixed signals
Let go. And yes you were right. Move on.
Sounds like the argument about the food was just the straw that broke the camels back. It seems he was more than ready to leave the relationship. That is not a big thing to break 2 people up. He was ready to go.
Ehh. He was out with his kid. If you’re out with yours and his kid is meant to come over later are you going to bring it home for his kid ? It was petty. But you left to go to a bar after you had an argument and the next night you went out again. Without having conversations. That’s on you.
If he doesn’t include your kids and doesn’t have the maturity to communicate with you then this is an incredible waste of your time and emotions. Personally I would let him go and cut your loses.
If youse split bills he lives with you and I would think he’s take your children as his own as it seemed serious , so I’d feel him buying your kids food too is normal … But I do feel like you shouldn’t have went to the bar and then the casino without sorting or fixing things or trying to talk and express how you felt and why he was angry … But he definitely shoulda bought the kids food
I have 3 kids. I have grabbed food multiple times on the way to get one or home to the others when a kid is hungry and freaking out you don’t always think of anything else. I know personally if my son is fussing for foods I just grab him something quick and that’s that. You went way over board.
The only way it would be wrong would be if he bought the child McDonald’s and told him to eat it when he gets home
u sound immature
It’s his way to guilt trip u, don’t fall for it. My ex husband would do this quite often and he’s an ex husband for a reason. I’d suggest u move on because ur children deserve better than him as a dad figure.
You see your kids all the time, he sees his son 8 days a month. I dont blame him for spoiling his son once in awhile. To get in a fight over Mcdonald’s isn’t worth it. Maybe you can carry this lesson with you for the next time you’re in a relationship.
So you’re mad at him for not getting your kids fast food so in response you leave your kids to go to the bar??? Wow!!!
A person should never bring food for one child and not the rest. If he couldn’t t afford it for everybody he should have went into McDonald’s and let his kid eat his food. That’s selfish.
No you’re not wrong if the food was consumed in the home in front of your kids. That’s messed up and really mean to your kids.
The only way I would have gotten upset would be IF they ate in front of my kids… I wouldn’t have left to go out though, I would have instead went to get my kids food so they wouldn’t feel left out… pick your battles and realize he’s only with his kid 8 days out of 30 and you’re with yours 30… best of luck!
All these red flags in the comments.
It kind-of seems he was waiting for an excuse to leave
He’s leaving you, and your question is about the McDonald’s…?
MOVE ON !!! He moved out and moved on… you should too. You don’t love somebody who doesn’t love YOU !!! You missed a bullet.
So you left him with your kids for 2 nights while you went to the bar and the casino, but you’re upset about McDonald’s? Nah sis.
Where were you at all day? You could have went and got your own kids food. Your kids doesn’t have to have everything he gets his son. Grow up
He was spending time alone with his son ?
Did he bring the food home to eat in front of your kids or the two of them enjoyed a meal out ?
Do you buy his son every treat you have with your children when he’s not there ?
I’m more concerned that you both behaved in a childish way tbh.
Adults talk things out not walk away in the huff.
Hes made his decision. Move on
Shoot, what a dramatic sob. If he’s that dramatic over McDonald’s, I would just let him go lmao. Sounds toxic, though. You leaving like that, him leaving, probably for the best.
Never allow a man to disrespect you, by him not including your children shows hope he truly feels towards them. You love a mom you Love the kids No matter. I never have used Step I love our children we came together as myself 2 him 3 = 5 children we love and treat as OURS 34 years.
He is a narcissist watch out
I would of cared less. He has his son 8 days a month so him spending quality time with his son is amazing. If it bothers you so much just get off your ass and go get them food instead of ditching them to go out. But honestly, he must of been looking for a way out if he left that quickly over a petty fight.
He was out with his son. He doesn’t have his son full time. Stopping at McDonald’s and eating was time for them to have a lone. All kids deserve individual time with their parents. You however left for two nights in a row without talking through it. Sounds like there has been issues for a while and this was the last straw.
Lolol you mean you just left your kids there with him and expected him to watch them? Without saying “hey I need to cool off, is it ok if I go out for a bit?” Girl I’d be leaving too
Just an excuse to leave the relationship, forget it
I mean I’d be mad. This isn’t like he’s dropping a kid off to you as a co parent. Y’all live together and have a family unit. If he was hungry and wanted a snack that’s different. But if he’s feeding him legit meals then coming home I find that crappy.
But yeah. Move on. Both of y’all sound super dramatic.
This relationship has more problems than just buying food for your kids. There is a lack of communication, there is a lack of respect and there is a lack of overall balance between the two of you.
. He sounds immature as hell and you and your kids are better off bc obviously he isn’t a father figure.
I don’t feel like you’re wrong, it’s important to let the kids know that none of them are more special than the others & to treat them all equally. His son already got something special by going to work with dad and then to leave the others out of the food too would be hurtful. Granted had he done it close to where they were for the job I’d understand why he didn’t get something for the others there but could’ve at least offered to stop before coming home.
You said they were an hour away. So they got food and ate on the way home?? Then you are in the wrong.
Now if they brought food home and ate I front of everyone the. That’s wrong but you over reacted.
He didn’t bring food home for your kids but you left and went to a bar??
Lots of variables -did they eat in the car ?
Or brought back & ate in front of you & kids ?
So by him doing that you decided to go out w/out communicating you were upset 2nights ?
*were kids w/him or someone else ?
Blended family’s need to do that …BLEND or it won’t work period !!!
Best Wishes To you all !!!
You have a right to be upset about the food but what you done was wrong
Yes! You are so right! Is not about the money! Is about the respect for each other. He is living with you as a family. If he neglected your kids with a simple McDonald meal, there is not much you can expect from him. Let him go!!! How dare him to think that u kid doesn’t worth a meal?
Look, I’m commenting from the other side, Yes all kids should be treated equally HOWEVER as you stated He took His child with him to work then stopped to get his son something. It’s not like you had His child all day and he brought home food for HIS child. I’m not trying to be rude, it’s Damn My EX use to do soooo much for Our son, Now that his GF has moved in with HER kids OUR son doesn’t get jack shit IF MY SONS father doesn’t do for HERS too. Why do so many GFs feel the entitlement of dictating what a Man can do for HIS child ?
No girl. You are not wrong. That’s shitty of him. But clearly, he was just looking for a way out. Let him go. I wish you well.
Honestly, sometimes people don’t think about other people. He probably didn’t even think about feeding anyone else, sometimes my husband doesn’t think about me when he comes home with a bag of food for himself. Like wtf man
Get enough for everyone or don’t get it at all. Most children learn that at school at a young age. I guess he missed that lesson.
He went and bought his kid food he doesn’t see often as a treat and that’s a problem how exactly? I have 3 kids, sometimes I take just one kid at a time to go do something special so I get some one on one time with them individually. Sometimes we get food. We finish before we get home to not tease the other kids. They all know I do it. They all get their turn. Maybe he didn’t have extra money to bring your kids food too. If there is food at home cook them a meal. Kids deserve to feel special once in awhile.
Shit goes both ways. He could have grabbed them a burger, be serious. Let him run away.
Girl! If he moved out, he is done. He is showing you exactly his intentions. Take your rose colored glasses off and see the reality.
What? You’re both in the wrong. This is sad. You sound childish and you both need to learn better communication.
It really depends on the situation.
Did he stop at McDonalds and get him and his kid food and bring it home and proceed to eat it in front of you and your kids? If yes, then he was in the wrong. If no, then he wasn’t in the wrong.
I have 4 kids. If I’m out running errands and have one of them with me, and we stop to get something to eat, I don’t bring something home for everyone else. Now, if I’m out with one of the kids and we stop to eat and take it home, then I’m bringing something for all of them.
A lot of people say you have to treat your kids all the same, but the truth of the matter is that you don’t. They’re not all the same. Each child is an individual person. It’s okay to do something for one or with one and not the others.
My husband and I often take the kids (4 of them total) out to do something, eat somewhere or buy something. Other times we take just one of them or two of them. But if we take one out to eat this Saturday, then next Saturday we take a different kid.
A huge issue with having multiple children is finding time to spend with them individually so that they each get time with mom and dad.
So again, unless he stopped at McDonalds, got food for him and his kid, and brought it home and ate in front of everyone else, I think you may have blown it out of proportion. It probably didn’t help that your reaction to the situation was to leave for the night and then leave again the next night. You probably should have sat down with him and had an adult conversation one on one. Communication is key in any relationship.
Go on without him. Maybe you’ll meet the right person if he is gone.
Hasn’t this been on Facebook and tictok?
Um all this over food? No there’s definitely more to it.
This man has been ready to go lol. He’s not just gonna pack up and leave over a McDonald’s meal. An hour away? You could of gotten their own food in that time frame!
Well , yeah. I would consider that you are a family. Wow. I’m sorry Mom.
Yes that is wrong of him. I buy anyone food for anyone who is with me. No child would be without if they are in my care. Take it as a sign because if your Kids ever need anything he Will not be there for them or provide like he should.
It was wrong if he brought the kid back with the food. But while they’re out (if they ate while out and not in front of the other kids) I don’t think it’s wrong.
Think theres more to it cz who moves out over food
I don’t treat both of my children the same. They each get their own little treat and time with both of us.
Well 1st of all I think u overreacted…then 2 go play darts at a bar 1 night & 2 the casino the next …w/o him ? It’s like u did it outta spite spite…he was an hr away with his son & his son was probably hungry…he Barley sees the boy…STOP being so selfish
So did he bring the McDonald’s home and eat in front of your kids? If so then that’s wrong. But if he stopped and got his kid McDonald’s and spent some one on one time with him then you are being petty. And then u leave and wonder why he’s mad.
Oh nooo,…he didn’t even bring your kids to work with him,…omg
Hes selfish I would walk away
You should move on!!! He clearly didn’t move out due to that argument… he obviously had been planning that for awhile and that was his excuse to get out! So sorry you are going thru this
The fact he almost completely moved out over this is just baffling. Actions always speak louder than words.