This morning, my son had a complete melt down about going to school, I have never seen him act this way. Today was his Christmas program, so I decided to keep him home. I know he hates being in programs, I know he hates being center of attention. That’s just his personality. He likes to be alone, doing is own thing. Was I wrong to keep him home?
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Note today my grandson stayed home too because of the same reason
You’re his mother whatever you decide is right.
Nope, not wrong. My son’s program was after school so I picked him up right at dismissal and let him skip it. No shame here.
We as adults have bad days, and sometimes kids do too. It is OK to give the a break 
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Kids need mental health days too. I think you did the right thing by letting him stay home! 
It’s probably frowned upon, but it might be worth looking into why he feels that way.
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Parenting win Mama Mental Health is so important these days
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Not at all just like adults, tiny humans have bad days and we should encourage healthy coping which includes taking a mental day. Talk with him more about school it seem like something more might be trigger the sudden “going to school” meltdown.
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Possibly. Only time I’ve kept my son home was when he was sick or when my gma passed and I needed the company. If he had that much of a problem you should have brought him to school and stressed the fact he doesn’t want to be in this thing and that you’ll sit in the audience with him so he can behave.
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Wrong…no. But at some point they have to face their fears and work through them.
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No I think one day off is fine
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Nah. I have let my son have a mental health day. We all need one every now and then. It kind of back fired on me though because he tried it again and I had to park and drag him into the school 🤦
Never force your child to be in a situation that makes them uncomfortable in any way.
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I don’t think you were wrong. ALWAYS, do what your “Mama gut” says!!! Every child is different and nobody knows him like you do. You’re a great Mom!!!
I let my kid stay home sometimes. Not always but i give him breaks
My son is homeschooled because of the meltdowns. He was having severe anxiety in the drop off line.
Nope! I would of did the same ! I believe the world would be a better place if everybody was entitled to mental health days ! … sometimes you just need time away !!
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Today my son (5) stayed home because he got himself worked up about having to dress up. So i kept him home 
Don’t put yourself down mama you done what you thought was best. My son is like that two iv had people question me saying they think he might be autistic even his nursery have brought it up. I just let that go over my head as I think he is just a shy child who likes his own company. but I do try to get him do the social things he doesn’t want to do as I feel he will get more confidence that way.
Nah, you do what you feel is best for your baby!
If he was gonna be miserable the rest of the day ,i would have kept him home too .
It’s not wrong at all. Kids need mental health days too
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I personally would have made my child go to school. I have taught mine I don’t care if you melt down or not unless you are running a fever you are going to school. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like and we don’t get to just stay home to avoid doing those things.
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When my daughter was in preschool there were mornings she wasn’t feeling it. It was a private paid preschool (they were getting paid either way) so on those day’s if I didn’t keep her home I picked her up early. Some times they need a day off every now and then too
No, you were looking out for his mental health.
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I stay home from work sometimes for mental reasons so it’s not wrong at all.
I think you did the absolute best thing!
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It’s a mental health day😁
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Yeah … I’d say so. You’re basically showing your son it is ok to throw fits when he doesnt want to do something, and that it will be rewarded. He needs to learn to get over it bc life is basically doing things you dont always want to do or like. Its life.
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MENTAL HEALTH IS FOR KIDS TOO
As a mama I’m big on my kids mental health. They get stressed and overwhelmed too, especially when they have things like tests or in this case programs. I do make sure there’s balance so they aren’t running when they need to push through and get something done but that’s not always the case. Don’t forget to talk about how to express emotions as tantrums aren’t the way no matter how he’s feeling. You did great mama! But regardless, You do what works best for your babies 
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probably did not want to be in Program, nerves about something-pretty soon, he may want to stay home every day
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I would have done the same
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Not wrong at all. I would’ve done the same thing.
Mental and emotional health always comes first.
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Not all. Their mental health is just as important as their physical health 
try talking to him to see if you can work through some feelings…
Nope , mental health is very important!
I’ve kept my child home after he had a meltdown :::
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Not wrong at all. Mental health is important. Just try to notice and divert triggers so he doesn’t think having a meltdown equals a free day from school
Mental health is important
If it mental health issues get him counseling otherwise all you did was enable him. I support a child’s mental health but if his anxiety / stress is that bad about it you need early intervention
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You did awesome Mama! Way to look out for your baby. Don’t Worry about what anyone else thinks. Do you know your child better than anyone on this earth and if your heart said to do it then it was right!
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No…Kids shouldn’t be forced into doing something they are uncomfortable with…
Good job momma!!
Put your child’s mental health first!!
We actually pulled my son out of kindergarten last year and decided to homeschool due to something similar. He had meltdowns every morning and was just not excelling like he should. He is now doing awesome.
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why was he in a program if he didn’t wanna be in one ? id let my child stay home if i knew her mental health depended on it for sure but a play ? hell i was made to do one i ran off stage crying in to my nanas lap bc i was embarrassed as fuck idk what happened i was like 10 at the time but i remember that
No, I don’t think you were wrong, as a mama you want to make your babies feel safe and secure…You helped him calm down by knowing he wouldn’t be center of attention… which is a good thing. But things like that won’t always happen in his favor, so you shouldn’t let him get used to stuff like that as he gets older. He’ll expect it, and then act out when it doesn’t always happen.
Nope! Think about it, as adults we still have mental breakdowns and just need to take a step back and breath, kids are the same way, you did the right thing. Especially being in tune with him knowing something makes him uncomfortable 
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Nope. Not wrong mama. Your baby, you know best. His mental health is more important than any school function, sport, or event. Bravo mommy, bravo!
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I disagree with most of these comments. By letting him stay home because he had a “meltdown”, you are teaching him it’s ok to stay home from school, work, or whatever just because you don’t want to go. It’s hard to keep a job when you don’t show up for work! And most people don’t like to go to work…we do it because we have to. Also, now he knows all he has to do is throw a fit and he will get his way.
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Mental health comes first, if this were my son I would’ve kept him home too, good job for putting your son first
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I would have encouraged your child to go to school because now that your child has stayed home once your child will expect to be able to stay home all the time
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My only thing is I am just a little confused, there is a little information that I need as my child is not in school yet and when I was in school the christmas program was a play. If this is what they still call it, was he in the program? If so was he a lead part that they was counting on him being there for? If all this is a yes, maybe plan ahead next time and dont back out at the last minute of obligations. I feel like that is teaching him to run when he has obligations to fulfill. However, if these answers are a no, then no, kids should have mental health refresh day too. Just do what you feel is best for your child. Things are hard in life and your child needs to learn there has to be a balance for times where you need to take care of yourself whether mentaly, physically or emotionally and times where if an obligation is made it needs to be met, then maybe take the day off after. Your not a bad mother from this, you care for your child.
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If you knew he was anxious why not discuss practicing the performance but not actually doing it the day of… but if you continue to have anxiety issues he may need a therapist or dr note to get out of these things… or help to overcome the fear.
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No. Mental health is a very important thing. And especially when kids are so young and don’t know how to deal with it. But also talk to him. Explain why you let him stay home and that it won’t happen all the time.
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I see both sides. Every one needs a mental health day but now hes gonna think.he can act that way and stay home all.the time.which isn’t right either. You deff should explain things to.him how everyone has bad days and sometimes we just need a break.but not everyday
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No, but you need to get to the bottom of the issue.
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Not exactly . It’s good you listen and pay attention to how he’s feeling , but just because he doesn’t want to do something means he shouldn’t. It’s life whether it’s work or school not everything works in your favor and he shouldn’t get used to missing school because of something he doesn’t do. Maybe try to figure out why the meltdowns are happening or some counseling to help him work through his feelings .
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As long as it doesn’t become a regular thing, I think doing so made you an even better parent! As long as he gets caught back up in his work, it’s fine, he needed a break!
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I disagree. This teaches him the opposite of what you want him learning to function in life.
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Not wrong at all. Sounds like he had some anxiety when it comes to those programs. Just know you’re a good momma and you gave him some much needed mental relief
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You don’t have to question doing what you think is right for your own child. Mom knows best. Everyone has opinions but yours is the only one that matters.
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I’d say no. He’s your kid and you know best
I don’t believe in mental health days. If u aren’t sick ur going to school. Ur just teaching ur child if they have a meltdown they can stay home. That’s now the real world works. I don’t take mental health days from work either. Just how I was brought up and I instill that in my son as well. My son had a Christmas play today. He was nervous. I just encouraged him and he had a great day.
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No…as a mother…his mother…you make the " judgement calls" to his wellbeing. Mental, physical, and even Spiritual. I recently heard on the news that mental issues were to be an acceptable reason to miss school. I’m sure you were more curious then whether you were right or wrong for keeping him home.
So, instead of talking to his teacher…working with him to help him through it…looking into therapy, you made hiding out ok?
I get we hate our kids being uncomfortable. Instead of just teaching them to let fear win, our job is to help them learn that fear and anxiety is ok but it doesn’t have to control us.
I get being protective.
I just disagree with letting their fear stop them.
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Is he going to go through life affording things he don’t like. Going to be lonely life
What is he going to do when he has to do a presentation in college or at work? His parents won’t be able to keep him home. He’ll lose credit in the class or be written up at work. I know kids mental health is important but in the future he needs to learn he needs to do things he doesn’t want to do sometimes.
Also, I’m a special education teaching student and just finished a course about these type of things. Children who don’t want to do something will usually try to escape that undesirable thing for another reward in their eyes. Your son didn’t want to do the program (undesirable thing) and had a meltdown (escape) to avoid this. You gave into this and he saw he can get the desirable thing (staying home) by having a meltdown. I would talk to your child with empathy about how he may not like to do some things but he cannot run from obligations. He needs to be taught what behaviors are expected and what will be acceptable in the future. The future could be the next grade level, middle school, high school, etc.
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I’m in two minds about this…yes it’s not nice to see him this way, but he can’t just avoid everything he doesn’t like in life ie job interviews are terrifying, exams are terrifying etc but he won’t get anywhere in life if he thinks he doesn’t have to do it because he doesn’t like it.
I absolutely hated school performances, standing in front of an audience as I have a squint and am a nervous public speaker…but I just did it, you never had a choice. It hasn’t affected my mental health.
How old is he?
I understand why you kept him home, but at the same time you can’t have him thinking he can just not do things because hes uncomfortable or doesn’t want too.
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No i get it and years from now this won’t matter keeping him home …you did fine
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Some days we need mental health days . But use this time to help him think of better ways to cope. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to
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Nah I wouldn’t force my child to be in a program. I would try to work through that anxiety with them because but at the end of the day I don’t think it’s something worth making them miserable over
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I have mixed emotions on this. While I understand that mental health is incredibly important, I’m not sure keeping him home was the best response.
I have a daughter that has generalized anxiety and has had some major melt downs. I have VERY OPEN communication with her school and teachers. If something comes up that I know she won’t handle well, that isn’t “mandatory” (like a Christmas program) I request that she be able to sit out. Having an open and honest relationship with their teachers is super helpful, and I think that teachers then know how to better support the child.
Also, you could already have this sort of relationship, but we don’t have that information, so please forgive me if this came across as judgmental. Not my intention. Just my thoughts.
Have you considered counseling for the anxiety? My daughters school had counseling there and they helped her with some coping skills that have been life changing.
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Talk to staff about his anxiety of performing and see if there is a alternative he can do. Directing?? School should work with you
Yes
My daughter learnt real fast that all she needed to do was hav a meltdown and her father would molly cottle her thats was the end for me being in a controlling relationship i couldnt do anything looking back i wish i had of done more my daughter dropped out of school year 7 and does not know how to handle any hard stuff about life she crumbles at any drama shes 18 and cant look after herself
Wish i had done more
Made her go to school and given her coping strategies instead of babying her
Its made it so much harder she expects everyone to fix everything for her and thats not how life is
I kick myself for not being stronger and not getting out of a toxic relationship sooner
Its ruin my kids 
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This is what is wrong with our world!! We need validation for everything from others and on here people we don’t even know!!! I hope every single one of you know you are an amazing mother to your children! Because they are yours!!! You know them from the moment they arrive and every step of the way!! You do what you feel is right in the moment and if it turns out not right then you change it next time!! You all are wonderful and don’t forget it!!!
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Not quite. While mental health is extremely important, if the reason he didn’t want to go was because he didn’t want to be in the play then you could have spoke with teacher asking that he be excluded. A teacher can not force the child to do something
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Nope! Kids need mental health days too. I work in behavior modification and I too allow my son to miss a day or two when he vocalized that he needed to rest. My son is my number 1 priority so of he says he needs a day or two, I give it to him (He’s 5 btw). Listening to your child is so important! Many time we as parents think it’s our way or the highway but you have to know your child and know when they need it or when they’re trying to pull a fast one. In our situation, our son was being bullied and needed that time to mentally heal. In your son’s situation, good job at keeping him home! His emotional health is way more important than the show.
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I totally agree with you… You did the right thing. It would have been too much stress on him…I have done the same thing with my son… All kids deserve a mental health day… Go mom!!
No, not at all! Education is vital for all of us, but your child’s health (including mental health) is the single most important thing and should always come first. You absolutely did the right thing in my opinion. We all have our off days where we don’t nessessarily want to do something, and for kids it’s harder to understand why they have no say in what they do on a daily basis, so it makes life seem so much more difficult for them. Obviously there are quite a lot of times when we do have to try to encourage and talk our kids round to the idea of things when they don’t want to do it (we can’t let them have a day off every other day coz they say they don’t wanna go to school lol) but if a child has a full on melt down over something, it’s pretty clear that thing is causing the child to suffer a high level of anxiety. So yeah, I’d absolutely let my child stay home from time to time, and then discuss the issue with school the next day and ask if anything can be done to help him/her, and to catch up on some of the work they missed out. (I have to do a lot of this as I have a 6yr old with special needs)
Not at all! He needs to know you are his advocate 
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No, forcing things that aren’t necessary causes resentment, yes if it was something he had to do for class and he had a speech I wouldn’t let him stay home, because that’s life and trust I understand how that feels but when it comes to things like plays, singing, etc, why force him? It just makes him feel unheard in the moment of weakness he had by breaking down.
I think you did the right thing.
If he’s 3 or 4, not such a big deal. If we are talking 8 or 9, that’s a different story. As he gets older, he will have to face his stage fright at some point and deal with it. 
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No it wasn’t wrong to keep him home
Mental health is important. If he was that stressed and upset about it, then you did exactly the right thing. Good job momma!
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Nope you are right 
Kids need a break too! I think you did an awesome job of teaching him that your his safe place
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I think you should have spoke with the teacher first. You are teaching him a meltdown means he gets to stay home and you will be dealing with it every day
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How old is he. What is a meltdown in your opinion?
Only you know your child and the anxiety or other conditions he may have. My children have mild depression, extreme anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD. My oldest hates programs … so we dont go. My middle son needs encouragement, and redirecting but does love music, singing, & dancing so we go to his. But the bottom line is as a parent it is solely our responsibility to balance mental health & education.
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I think u did the right thing. I would have done the exact same with no regrets
There is no statement of child’s age. If it’s preschool and you say it’s the only time he’s done it, not as a big deal in keeping him home as school aged. I know my opinion is in the minority but I think children need to learn that they don’t always get to do whatever they want. It reminds me of coddling and the everybody gets a trophy mentality. Yes, I’m an older parent from a different generation. At my house you go to school unless you have a fever or vomiting. And when you stay home you are quarantined in your room, especially during school hours. My how it deters them from staying home unnecessarily. I hope he didn’t have a part in the program which people were counting on him for. If he has anxiety that bad to stop him from attending school I hope he’s seeing a therapist. But you said it was the only time he’s ever done it so I feel he should have went to school and worked through his stage fright. Just my opinion. And I hope this doesn’t become a regular thing for him knowing he can manipulate and get his own way. If not the case and it ends up being the only time he does this, than not a big deal. I hope you have a conversation with him to see where the anxiety comes from and ways to alleviate it.
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Nope! I would have kept my son home too!
You were not wrong by keeping him home. Sometimes it’s just too much for kids. My Mother let me stay home every year, because I had so much anxiety over the programs.
As long as you can make him understand that yes he can stay home if he REALLY feels like he has to, to not feel so overwhelmed. But for more important stuff that will affect his grade, he will need to find a coping skill that will help him thru it.
It could have been a great teaching experience. And
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Absolutely not. I tell my kids all the time how important school is but if they ever need to stay home for a mental health break, I will believe them and let them stay home. I think that even them just knowing it’s an option helps ease whatever their going through
As a mom, if my child is uncomfortable being on a stage doing a performance, then I will not force it. I wouldn’t do it as an adult so why should they? The older they get the more comfortable they become doing these thing but if this meltdown was bad then staying home was needed. He needed you to be in his corner and you were. That’s what matters. Not what hell be when he’s an adult but right now while he’s a child.
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If my children aren’t physically sick, they are not allowed to miss school. Teaches them responsibility that they need to learn. But you are his mom so it is/was your decision
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