If there is as patern, and you referred to social events, talk to his teacher to see how he copes at school. Having a melt down could be a red flag.
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Okay I had horrible anxiety about programs growing up to the point I would vomit just before going on stage with everyone else, (always seemed to get a lead roll somehow) but my grandfather always told me to go ahead and have fun on stage with my friends and heâll be in the front row ( he always was) and I got over it, honestly letting him have a meltdown and getting his way is not the right way to go about it heâs just learning âI throw a big enough fit I get my wayâ I would have talked to him and the teacher about maybe if he got stage fright to bad he could hang back stage,
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You have to go with your gut feeling. There is no right or wrong answer. Do what is best for him. My son now 17, never liked being in school productions. Its us the mom, that wants to see them, to be proud of our little boysâŚTheir path is not always what we want for them.
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How old is he? As a prek teacher I see the results of parents forcing terrified children to perform. Itâs heartbreaking.
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Hes your child you make the decisions and dont worry about what others say.All kids are diff.
Nope to me school is very important and my kids donât miss it unless they r truly sick. We as adults canât just miss work cause we donât feel like going today. I believe it helps teach responsibility.
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I wouldâve mad kiddo go to school. This can create a mess if they know a meltdown gets them their way.
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I would have sent him. Social anxiety is a real thing, I would have said I would have come and watched and made it a fun thing to do. It will help him as he grows to understand the need to attend things.
My ex husband refuses to attend any functions and has meltdowns at 40
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Heâs 5, guys! He may grow out of his anxiety, as he gets older and socializes more. I feel mental health days are important. I didnât used to understand that until the past couple months or so. Sometimes we, as adults, get overwhelmed. Yes, kids get overwhelmed, as they get older, you can better explain things about sometimes we have to do things we donât want to do but there are also times, where we really need to destress and take a step back. As far as him working, most jobs offer time off, sometimes paid time off. Itâs not that serious and yes, that is also real life situations.
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You know, adults take mental health days from time to time from work, why canât a child? anxiety is something that can truly be really hard to get over, and though being pushed can help sometimes, but most the time it only makes things worse and a child doesnât need that pressure just yetâŚ
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I would have sent mine to school. I dont want to teach her she can just get out of things whenever she wants.
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Nope, you can ask that he not participate unless he wants too.
Sounds like social anxiety, it can be sad to watch them struggle but you have to nip that in the ass ASAP.
Itâs only going to cripple him as he gets older.
Youâre not âwrongâ just maybe start working with him on itâ¤ď¸ do small things like have him order his own food at a restaurant, or pay for his own toy at the checkout so that he has to interact with the cashier.
I guess the reason for his melt down should help guide you in knowing if this was the right thing. Was his melt down to get his way, stress over the program or something not related. Yes we can all have a bad day but as parents it is our job to help our child learn acceptable behavior as well as how to deal with stressful things or things we donât like.
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I have a very socially awkward child. I stopped making him go to Christmas pageants. Iâm not going to make my child uncomfortable.
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No everyone EVEN CHILDREN need a break
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Yes totally wrong. You reinforced his inappropriate behavior and allowed him to get his way. Now he will be more likely to throw a fit to get his way next time. Iâm sorry it makes him uncomfortable but he needs to communicate that appropriately. If he doesnât like programs then keep him home and let him know itâs ok to communicate that but it is not ok to throw a fit.
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I agree with your decision! As some one who has battled social anxiety all her life things like that were always brutal me. You know whatâs best for him as his momma.
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I work as a vocational al trainer for handicapped and mentally challenged we cannot force them to do what they do not want to doâŚthey will do it when they want and ready. .
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As long as its not a regular thing, I would have kept him home too!
We all need a break once in awhile.
Just donât let it become a way for him to get what he wants.
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Nah, he may grow out of it but itâs fine if he doesnt. My kid walked off the stage once mid performance and it was ok.
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I wouldâve had him stay home as well. Especially at his age. But I definitely would talk to him and look into why he had the meltdown.
Your the mom you do what is best for you and your family. No one was there to see what went on. Donât second guesss yourself
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Usually when I have
made myself do something I dreaded I have ended up enjoying it. If he was
part of the program it wasnât fair to others for him not to be there. Also it re-enforces the anxiety.
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Everyone is allowed to have bad days, even kids.
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I was like that, I couldnât get in front of an audience either! I changed later in years⌠Now you canât shut me up! I would have done the same if I had kids.It didnât hurt anything so donât worry.
I am so tired of hearing about meltdowns. Is that this generations word for tantrums? He needs to be taught to be part of a group.
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You are his mom, only you can make decisions like that for him and our opinions donât matter. That being said, kids need days off too. There is nothing wrong with letting him have a day off occasionally, as long as he doesnât have a test that day or something. Just make sure He knows that having a meltdown is not going to allow him to stay home from school every time. Like you donât want to teach him that if he acts a certain way then he doesnât have to go to school. Itâs perfectly OK that he has a day off, itâs not ok to manipulate the situation to get a day off.
Nah. Iâve done it. We all need a break sometimes.
I let my son use a few unexcused absences a semester for mental health days. Teaching someone the value of taking care of themselves is just as important as teaching them to follow through on responsibility.
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I let my so skip it as well:)
No, I wouldnât say you were wrong. If a child isnât comfortable performing in a program they shouldnât have to.
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You know him best i think you need to make the call. Now if he starts to use this on a regular basis then maybe have him talk with someone or make him. Your a great mom just keep talking with him.
I was the same way when I was a kid and so is my son and I do that for him
Yeah, you were wrong. All you did was teach him that if the throws a big enough fit he wonât have to go to school.
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Great decision if you could change his mindâŚcannot become a habit
Nope. Sounded like he needed a break 𤡠Hope you made it a good mommy/son day 
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My son is the exact same wayâŚbut Iâm the mama that says if the calendar says you have to be a at school he goes unless hes legit sickâŚ
He has to adaptâŚkeeping him home is doing him no justiceâŚ
Also what happens if he gets sick and needs the days he stayed home just becauseâŚ
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Yeah he should have went . You just reinforced that he can get his way by having a temper tantrum
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If it felt right to you then it was the right decision. Never put your child in a situation they donât want to be in, simple as that. You did the right thing.
Nothing wrong as long as he respected you and cut outs the meltdown once he realized he did not have to go and he does not take advantage of doing this to you every time he wants out of somethingâŚIâm sure he loves you even more for respecting his wishes thatâs a great mom decision if he doesnât like the mix then so be it!
No not at all xx mental health is important too.x you know your son.xxx
Sometimes itâs hard being a mother.
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This is what I would have done I would tell him if he truly feels like he needs to stay home then he can but while heâs at home he will still be doing school work during school hours or he would be in his room either writing I will go to school no matter what or he would be reading the books I picked out for him to read the only TV he would get is the news or what I pickedno cartoons or have a snack unless itâs fruit he would also be grounded and the first time he threw a fit I would severally discipline him after that he would decide to never want to stay home again from school
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No .you did what you thought was best for him
He canât stay home all the time
Every time he has a melt down heâs gonna have to get used to be around children and adults
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School is super important. But so is having a break once in a while. I think we as adults forget sometimes that kids need breaks too. Just like we donât like going to work or whatever it is that we have to do. They sometimes donât like going to school and I think itâs perfectly ok to let them have a break once in a while. My oldest is only in headstart but every couple months I let her stay home just because. Itâs good for them I think. And even more so if itâs getting them out of something that makes them uncomfortable. Just because theyâre little doesnât mean they should have to be uncomfortable just cuz itâs something for school.
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No, you were not wrong. I do the same thing. I listen to my kids needs and if they need to stay home from school for whatever reason, thatâs ok. We as adults can stay home or call out if we need too, kids should be able to as well. Good job for listening to your child! 
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My son is the exact way . Heâs 6 he had his Christmas concert today in a high school auditorium. No one thought he would have got on stage with the class but he did it ! I sat with him and hung out until he was comfortable . I wouldnât of forced him on the stage if he didnât want to do it or punish him but I always try to go
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Your not wrong. But I would talk to the teachers about future events that will cause the same anxiety. I didâŚ
My 5 year old daughter can have some separation anxiety. If she had a melt down before going to school then I would have kept her home too
Iâd suggest counseling to help with any anxiety he may be feeling so to better help in the future. You did the right thing.
Id probably let my kid stay home too and maybe discuss with them a better way of expressing our feelings. Mental health is very important and if he is experiencing high levels of anxiety, maybe get him counseling. I hope heâs doing alright
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Unpopular opinionâŚbut Iâd have made him go and I have his personality type still at 40.
He will have to learn some coping skills to help get him through these requirements as a student. The coping skills he learns will help him into adulthood. But I sure do feel for your son.
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He should not have been kept home. That teaches avoidance to handle problems which wont always even be an option. I just went through something similar with my son except it was teacher he couldnât handle. You should have spoken to the school and had them keep him out of the program.
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No, you did the right thing. You really did. Kids deal with things they canât explain well. Mental health is important
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I donât think so. Now, if you did it EVERY time he had a meltdown, Iâd say youâre teaching him how to get his way. But, just this once? Kids have bad days too. They need a break sometimes and itâs hard for them to put into words their anger and frustration. So they have meltdowns. I think you did right
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When a child reacts in an extreme manner, they have already reached their limits and are needing assistance to calm and support. A âmeltdownâ is a response to intense feelings the child can not work out on their own. It is a cry for help and as a parent, it is best we open our ears and our heart to what is hidden underneath their outburst. If he felt scared, terrified, vulnerable, unheard then the right response is to hear him, listen and respond so he knows he has support. Itâs our job to step in and give the child support and guidance. Show love first, show compassion and understanding for if in the early stages they do not receive it then they wonât be able to show it in their adult stages either. One day off school is not the same as a day off work or throwing away a person responsibilities. Itâs seeing to an individualâs need for emotional connections and providing a child in their early childhood that they have support, love and care allowing them to grow in confidence and blossom into healthy adults. Showing empathy at time when they need it most ensures they will in turn come to you for help and support in future issues knowing you have their best in mind and are there for them. How can this kind of parenting be âbadâ for them or you. It will strengthen your relationship with your child through communication and lead the way for a well adjusted person. This being said, the only opinion that matters is yours, your child, your parenting, your love. You are doing a fantastic role within your childâs life. Period.
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For exampleâŚ
As a kid I really dislike getting up on stage
Iâm an introvert
But as an adult I can adapt to be an extrovert and lead a group
I have many leadership positions and currently in leadership position at wk.
I dont know if it helped singing and dancing on stage to be who I am now.
I think it was not fun
I had more fun watching others perform. To this day i love backstage set up but I can give speeches and lead.
You cant force extrovert personality on ur sonâŚI think there is something else happening becuz âmeltdownâ is extremeâŚits beyond being introvert
I believe u would respect his boundaries if he really didnt want to perform.
But u go to the resort of not even letting him observeâŚease him into itâŚu so my dont bring him to school on that dayâŚthis could backfire later
As an adult He can find employment where he works on his own.
He can avoid HS by going to college earlyâŚbut in college there are presentations to present in front of classâŚso moral of story is u should put him in counselingâŚto figure out if this is some sort of autism or a tantrum or a anxiety disorder which all reasons he would need help with.
For now I say dont force him to perform if you know itâs going to be meltdown
Confidence can fix much of the issue
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Keep him home for a bit, support him, let him gather himself and provide him with space and prompt Him to Express his feelings. BUT then send him to school with your support, even if he is late. Be there for him, and then find maybe the guidance counselor to also support him while in the school environment.
No you know your child.
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I canât make a sound judgment call because his age isnât known. But gathering heâs somewhere K-5 I would say, let him stay home until he calms down and then explain why school is important and why he has to go. Then I would of took him in. Staying home for a full day for a meltdown is a little bit of an over kill if you ask me.
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Your the mama what ever you think is best!! What works for you child may not for others so you do what your heart and gut say to help your baby!
I give my oldest child mental health days. We all have some times that we just canât âpeopleâ. Donât let it become a habit though.
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Let me tell you Iâm probably older then you so I made some mistakes with my girls when they used have meltdowns for not wanted to go to school been a single mom I made them stay home thinking that a was the right thing to do well is not .
He needs to been in school and socialize with other children and learn itâs very important I know a breaks your heart but trust me make him go over is fears teach him how to be in a world outside your home
Yes, mental health days are so important to take when theyâre needed !! A lot of these comments are saying how it will get them into the habit of skipping school/work in the future, that is entirely not true, as long as you teach him to only take them when theyâre really needed!
I would not have kept him home. However, if being on stage bothered him that badly, I would have talked to the teacher about him sitting it out.
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Iâve noticed theres a lot more things it seems like nowadays that they make the kids get up and give presentations. My kids are always having to get up in front of the class it seems! Thatâs crazy. Every now and thenâŚyesâŚbut if they really want to do that type of thing, thatâs one thingâŚbut not everyone likes that!
He is YOUR child. It shouldnât matter what other people think or say about the matter. YOU know YOUR child better than anyone else. If something is bothering him enough to have a melt down that he has never done before then I believe you did the right thing. Trust your gut instinct. Donât let what others think shape your decisions. You do whatâs best for your boy!!
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As long as you make it clear to him that he will be going tomorrow and any other day for the rest of the school year, I think itâs fine.
No. He needs to learn to cope⌠in this world there is no escaping human interaction⌠he needs to get used to it if he is to be a functional adult⌠this cant be a reoccurring habit.
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My daughter started this out of no where i pulled her out it got so bad and she has opened up and shines so bright now come to find out she was being mistreated at school if you had no problems with him liking school bf and all a sudden having meltdowns that m might be his was of trying to tell you hes being mistreated
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You did good. We have to remember children arenât little adults they are children. Give him a break. The world kept turning. Your a good Mom.
Is he autistic or on the spectrum somewhereâŚthis could be overload 4himâŚ
Possibly he was feeling anxious? Trust your gut always! I wouldâve done the same thing.
pls check he may be bullied at school
I would say you are wrong the melt down could have been deliberate
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I agree your teaching him to have a melt down and he can get what he wants
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No. I hated having to be in productions too. Whilst i agree it gives skills to be better able to present in adult like forcing him into it is not the way forward. Better a step back and think of other ways to boost his confidence and get him more comfortable with things
If itâs not a real day of school I donât see a problem. And forcing kids to perform like circus animals in front of maybe 5 relatives and a literal FUCK TON of complete strangers should be considered child abuse (exaggeration 
donât want everyone to jump up my ass) but seriously, Nobody wants to do that shit, especially not a god damn child.
Sounds like U keeping him home did not help him. He may need therapy, this is not a normal response.
I believe that there will always be things in life we do not want to do but reality is we will have to itâs the way it is. Teaching our children that a meltdown will keep them from doing what they donât want to do is not realistic.
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No, Iâm sure he appreciates it
Let me tell you mental health is the most important thing. And its something we need to teach our children. I keep my child home when i feel she needs a day.
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Certainly not, I know education is important but if your child is showing anxiety, fear and other signs ,a day at home will help him to calm down, also it is a chance for you to talk to him and ask why he doesnât want to go is he being bullied, is there something he isnât coping with in class and feels uncomfortable about itâŚ
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I would of kept mine home too. We are the only people who really know our children and whatâs best for them. Donât ever question yourself
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Youâre not wrong. You do what you feel is best as a mother!
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mental health is just as important as physical health. The last thing you want to do is send him to school and exasperate the situation.
That being said, this is a very good opportunity to sit down with him and discuss calming techniques and about how he will need to learn to not allow anxiety get in the way of his responsibilities and obligations. Christmas program is no big deal, but when he gets older and has a career, or has children of his own? Sometimes you just canât take the necessary time off to recover from a panic attack. Proactively act in favor of controlling them.
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I am like this myself, my son wasnât. Sometimes it just isnât anything you can do about it. Donât force it sometime kids outgrow the anxiety. In a group is easier though rather than being the center of attention. Keeping him home was the right thing to do.
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Idk about keeping him home but i think a kid should be able to decide that they donât want to participate in something like that
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Nope. Not wrong. I dont force my kids to go if they are really upset. If he doesnt enjoy it, youâd only be making him go for you to see him in it
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Not wrong. At all. I call them âmental health daysâ and my son knows it. If i notice how stressed and upset going to school makes him upset and i decided to keep him home thats why. We use that day to set a new positive tone and then we start fresh the next day. My son also has an iep and small class and such. But i think itâs important for him to understand that his mental health is important and starting to work on everything at a young age.
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Even children need a mental health day every now and then
You were not wrong. You did exactly the right thing.
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If it was a constant thing where he pitches a fit and gets out of things, then Iâd say yes. But if this is the first time then I think itâs OK. But in the future, if he doesnât want to be out front and center then Iâd ask his teacher if he can participate in other ways. Performing isnât for everyone and it really shouldnât be mandatory
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I understand mental health days and I let my children take them every great now and then. However, he had an obligation to show up! His classmates were counting on him. This would have been a great opportunity for you to teach him about being accountable and showing up when thatâs whatâs expected of you. Say he has a big meeting at work? Are you going to call off for him, and tell his boss he needs a mental health day!?
Mental health days are just as important as other sick days. If uts a program, hes probably not missing much.
I would have let him stay home.evidently he was very scared to face all these people.good luck.i would recommend therapy for awhile.my little granddaughter talked to the counselor at her elementary school it helped
No you trust your instincts mom!
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