No. No need to traumatize him if it can be avoided.
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No! My oldest takes mental health days all the time. He also does not like being center of attention. It drives his anxiety through the roof
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No, youâre his mother. Trust your gut and TRUST YOUR SON.
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Nope not at all no stress on him and the rest of the students and teachers and yourself as well.
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Nope. He is allowed to be human too. Good call.
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Yes. I say this only because he will never adjust to situations heâs not happy with if you allow a tantrum to be his get out of it card. You canât keep him home from work when heâs an adult or school when heâs older, so I wouldnât do it now.
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Yes and now since you gave in heâll keep doing it. Good job Mom 
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Nope. Mental health is far more important than a school program.
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Yes bc you are basically saying sure u can have your way so this behavior will keep repeating. You are your childâs mother not friend. They have to face things they dont always want to do in order to grow and adjust.
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Yes.you should have sent him to school cause now he knows how to get his way.as far as the program I always gave my kids the option if they wanna do it
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Theres absolutely nothing wrong with a mental health day as long as it doesnât bring on repeat occurrences. Kids learn how to manipulate pretty quickly so I wouldnât make it a habit.
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Nope. Sometimes you need a mental health day
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I wouldnt feel bad. My best friend son had one to do and really wanted my 11 month to go he is his bestie itâs so cute and he is autistic and my son calms him but I told him no becuase my son cant handle that stuff yet he cried but if my son is freaking he cant help him out lol
Recognizing your child has issues about being in center of attention and that it causes him a bit of anxiety, is a good thing. We have to teach them the skills to manage their stress. They canât figure it out by shoving them into situations that cause overload of emotions.
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Donât take him out of difficult situations. Train him to cope with them.
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Iâm not sure the right answer here, but something to consider in the future is, could you just excuse the performance (or the trigger of the anxiety) and still stress the importance of education while not rewarding the melt down? Also, could you prepare your child for the performance by having importance conversations in the days and weeks before? Did the child not want to do the Christmas program for other reasons than not wanting to be the center of attention? Was it due to not learning the songs, not having the required âred shirtâ or a disagreement with another student? In other words, could you give your child the tools to cope and maybe he would enjoy the performance or at least develop self confidence for pushing through something he didnât want to do? No judgement for doing what you did, just suggestions and food for thought. Also, what does the spouse/co-parent say?
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Kids have different stress than adults. They need mental health recharge days just like adults do.
There are no rules in the life of a parent, I feel. You know whatâs best for your children! Parents need to support one another and not critize. What works for one child, may not work for another. 
This is a mixed bag!
You were good to recognize he needed a mental health day, and that he cannot be the center of attention.
But, he needs to be taught coping skills to deal with said things while heâs young, vs an avoidance thing cropping up!
So I hope you take this into consideration:
Recognize mental health days as a thing. My mom allowed me 2-3 a semester!
But as an adult, I have no coping skills. But Iâm working with people now to help me develop some.
Good luck mama!
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If he doesnât want to do those programs then thatâs fine donât make him. But maybe picked him up before the program instead of missing the whole day ?
No not at all. Children have good and bad days just as adults do. Sometime they just need reassurance, love, extra snuggles ect. Never question your decision
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Nope Iâve done this I call them mental health days
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Coming from a teacher, you should have sent him to school and just let the school know he doesnât want to do the program and seen if maybe he could have stayed in a classroom with a teacher or something during the program. We understand not all kids want to be center of attention but you also need to be careful that heâs not just wanting to stay home and knows if he cries and throws a fit he will get to
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I have anxiety and I think it is best to do things youâre afraid of. That being said⌠if I have a panic attack I wonât do it that time but will make sure I try to be prepared the next time. Sometimes itâs best to figure out the feelings first otherwise it will be worse be next time. But avoiding things doesnât help either. I wouldnât feel bad but I would try to figure out what caused the melt down and see if you can work with him on things like that. Maybe he can start doing small âperformancesâ for family.
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No,you know him better than anyone.i kept my son home sometime just because i missed him
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No! My kid hates programs too! I donât make him go!
I just did this yesterday
Sometimes life is overwhelming even when your 7
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I hated school programs, My kids loved them so I went. If my kid didnât want to be in it. I wouldâve been fine. Wouldâve just called the school and told them he couldnât make it. No one knows better than you but he also needs to be aware, sometimes heâs got to do some things. How important was his role in the program. One or two songs or was he one of the main characters? Did they really need that extra tree. A friendâs kid was a tree. Right in the middle of the program he needed to pee. He just walked off the stage. One of the teachers said he needed to stay. So he peed in a wastebasket. . Only thing was it was like the metal net ones. I thought it was funny but he had to go.
Nope. Ive done this before
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the difference between children melting down and adults having anxiety attack is that children do not have the maturity level to understand why something is overwhelming them. The go into fight or flee syndrome for self preservation. They are terrify and scaredâŚWhy make a child do a Christmas programâŚthese are suppose to be fun for the kids not stroking the parents ego of what their child can do.
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How old is your son? That makes a big difference on how this is dealt with. Liking to be alone or not being the center of attention can be euphemistic ways to describe anxiety, especially in young kids. If you havenât consulted a child therapist, I would do so sooner not later. As previous posters have said, he needs to learn coping skills because he wonât be able to avoid every situation he doesnât âlikeâ. It doesnât mean he had to be in those school programs all the time but the problem he has with them exactly is what needs to be known.
I have two kids with anxiety and I deal with it as well so I come from a place of dealing with it each and every day for many years.
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Yes and No. There is nothing wrong with keeping him home here and there if it is really bothering him, if it is causing him anxiety. However, If you make it a habit, he will never learn to adjust to being part of groups and it could potentially effect him in his future with college and work.
Sorry, but yes. They have to learn to step outside their comfort zones. My son was painfully shy when young, he did everything everyone else did at school. It forced him out of his shell. Heâs 32 today, married, successful,happy man. But he learned to do many things, including being Rudolf in school play.
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Nope if itâs unusual than he had a meltdown for a reason and we all have bad days
I used to get bullied in school so bad that my stomach would start to kill me and Iâd feel sick throughout the day, but my mom let me have mental health days and it did wonders for me. Sometimes you just need a break from the drama and bullshit.
Sorry to hear that he gets upset over programs. You know and love your son. Do what mothers do best. Love, teach, and protect him
Iâm torn between this one. I would say yes because children should learn how to cope with certain situations, but you are also his mother and know him. If you say he has never been that way before than sending him to school couldâve made it so much worse. In the end honestly you know your child the best and even though you may question your own actions sometimes youâre doing what is best for YOUR child!
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Nope 
lol my son never goes to school on fancy dress/pyjama days⌠he hates it and gets into right state of panic, so I keep him home, the school
Once asked me if I thought it was a reasonable enough excuse for him not to go in, I replied probs not but I gave birth to him so I donât have to give a reasonable excuse to anyone 
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I have a question: Does the boy suffer from a mental illness, autism, or anything else?
Not knowing the answer, this is not normal behavior and may be a sign of a mental health issue that may require medication or he will get bigger and more out of control.
I donât think thereâs a right or wrong answer here. Heâs your son. No one knows him better. If he needed the day he needed it. I read my kids. If they are sick they stay home. If they need a break (mental health day I call it) then they get it. Itâs not a regular thing by any means but I know my kids and we make the choices we think are best in these moments. If you second guess then itâs a situation to learn from. Maybe finding ways to help or cope when he feels this way of it happens more often. If not. So what. He needed the day. No harm
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Hecky nawww!!!
And donât listen to others that say otherwise⌠period!
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I think you made the right choice, Momma!
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No, i would have done the same
What was done for me and what I done for my son, is role play situations, and when an anxiety comes, I tell him what worked for me, I also would help him role play his words and songs all through the week to help him memorize his roles for his pagents,
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Nope! Your sons mental health is important and if it was that distressing to him, it would impact his mental health. Good job mumma 
for listening to your son
Not at all. As someone with depression/anxiety, I feel itâs healthy to recognize things that trigger extreme reactions. Iâve been able to go and do more because Iâm aware of my triggers and allow myself to back off.
Kids should be given the same courtesy as an adult when it comes to strong emotions. I think you did the right thing.
I have social anxiety, you never really out grow it, but you do have to learn to manage it. So for that reason he should at least try
. But on the other hand, I donât like being forced to do something I really donât want to do⌠does he have autism or anything of the sort? Thatâs also a game changer⌠and he shouldnât be forced into a situation that going to cause a meltdown⌠either way maybe he could benifit from a some counciling.
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I think the only thing wrong is you doubting yourself. Trust your gut mumma.
You are clearly an excellent mother! You know your child. I wish I cld see this more often. Iâve worked with hundreds of kids whose parents donât bother to see the uniqueness of their children. There is no basic recipe in raising them. Donât force your child to be what he is not. Not everyone has to like being the center of attention. I raised one out of six who was that way as a child and is a wonderful human being. You are doing a great job. Donât ever believe that everything works for every child. Remember too, you are showing him you understand and respect him fir who he is. Thatâs huge!!! He will be able to trust you.
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I am a Teacherâs Aide and I have seen students who have gotten upset or had meltdowns at home adapt pretty well once back in the classroom. He will never learn to adapt to programs until he participates in them. Keeping him home to avoid them will teach him that he is allowed to avoid things he doesnât want to do for the rest of his life; start getting him to go out of his comfort zone, we as adults have to do it every day. If the teacher or other staff member notices that he isnât coping in any situation, they/we will always alter the activity to suit them if required.
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No its your child do whst you fell is right for him .
Nope i would have done the same thing especially if events like that make my son uncomfortable
If it was something like a test that was going to have an impact on his grades or future, then the two of you would need to figure something out. My oldest son is on the spectrum and we negotiate how much âpeoplingâ he needs to do. He homeschooled all but 1 1/2 years and recently got his GED. He starts welding school next month. I also have a daughter who loved dance class, but quit every year right before the recital because she didnât want to perform. Keep the lines of communication open and give him autonomy to make some of his smaller decisions. You know him best and you got this.
You do whatâs best for your child. You KNOW whatâs best for your child! Personally, I believe itâs good to push children in matters like these. Not if theyâre going to have a complete melt down in front of the entire class but they need to learn that not everything in life is comfortable. They will be put on the spot so many times throughout their life. They donât just host things like this for fun. Itâs the first steps to getting comfortable being put on the spot. There will be public speaking, times where theyâll need to stand up for themselves even if itâs uncomfortable, all the way to job interviews or job performance or talking to someone theyâre interested in making friendships with. Itâs world and life readiness. But like I said you know your child and whatâs best for him!! Youâre never âwrongâ for being a good mama - and if you have to ask, know you are. 
Only 20, but Iâm gonna go ahead and say the middle ground is the only real answer to this. Yes, you possibly just gave in to your childâs tantrum and your child will possibly use it to get out of things he doesnât want to do. Or, on the flip side, maybe you just knew what he needed was to stay home. Maybe he needed a mental health day. None of these women can answer this question and I donât care how right they think their opinion is. WE DO NOT KNOW YOUR CHILD. Weâve never met him and youâre his mom. You have to weigh the options and decide whatâs best for your son.
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Kids are like adults. Sometimes they have anxiety. Sometimes they need a break. And thatâs okay 
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If he dont feel comfortable and he threw a big fit i would have kept him home also but i would talk to the teacher and see if there is anything else going on at school to the reason he may have not wanted to participate.
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Seems like a good reason as long as it doesnt become a habit. We all need mental health days!!!
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You good, keep him home if needed. Itâs a mental health day, we all need breaks
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U know your son better then anyone⌠dont question ur choices⌠i would do the exact same as my son hates crowds as wellâŚ
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You totally did the right thing!!!
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You did the right thing. He was overwhelmed with anxiety.
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I would have done the same
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Thatâs what counselors are for
Your his parent. Your decision. I think you were right. My daughter suffers massively with anxiety and have finally got her a home tutor after a long battle. Mental health is just as important.xx
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Little ones have emotions just like us adults do! They have every right to feel those emotions⌠you did the right thing⌠sometimes our kiddos just need a day to themselves 
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No , you are not wrong. Children have bad dayâs just as we do. We need a break and time off on our bad days. They deserve it to .
I would have done the same thing.
My grandson is same way.
I donât think itâs worth putting him through that if he has anxiety about that. You know your child best.
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You did right thing he was overwhelmed.
Nah⌠if you feel that was what was best for your child then itâs all good
It must be the way of the world today to let the kid say he does not want to go back in my day we went without a break down, parents are wimps today
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No your not wrong ,do whatâs best for your son x
Not at all. Children need mental health days too
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I have anxiety just going to work and being in front of the same people, I couldnât imagine being a kid and trying to deal with that type of social anxiety. Itâs was ok to keep him home but next time (if you havenât already) talk with him about his emotions and reassure him that he is amazing and would do a great job!! Fear is just a feeling and youâd be right there cheering him on 
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No. Mental health is as important, if not more so, as physical health. More people need to recognize.
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I keep mine home sometimes, especially during programs, do whatever feels best you and your child and you cant go wrong.
You didnât do the wrong thing, But for the future, Perhaps it would be better to teach him to approach his teachers and offer alternative input out of any spotlight? (Iâd have a chat to his teachers and get on the same page) just so he doesnât become accustomed to running away from things.
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Maybe talk it out with him? Im not sure how old he is, but its always productive to help kiddos learn how to process feelingsâŚespecially when it comes to anxiety.
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Youâre the parent. You know what should be right or wrong for your kid. Sure, schools are stressful. So are school programs, plays, whatever. We are put through things we donât like to do. But itâs an unfortunate part of life. Canât keep ourselves and our kids isolated from everything. Then theyâll never learn to boost their confidence in public situations.
I do the same with my son, itâs okay mama
No, I think you did the right thing. If he was overwhelmed and needed a day, I donât see a problem. Kidsâ mental health is just as important as adultsâ.
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I personally donât keep mine home unless theyâre sick but sometimes a mental day is good.
My daughter gets mental health days. I would definitely talk to a counselor also
Not at all no point putting him in a situation where he isnât happy
I donât think you were wrong about him a staying home you know your son
Sometimes even kids need mental health days. I know how he feels, about participating in things like that so in my opinion, you did the right thing.
I was that kid. Way to go not making him go. Its scary and i would want to avoid that too
Not wrong at all! Sometimes you just need a mental health day! We allow our kids to have several throughout the year!
I would of kept him home too in kids there is so much that can destroy a mind
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Kids are to spoil but he rather been on phone playing games or playing with computers he donât have participate thatâs with my son he will always do that because you let him that was wrong you talked the teacher and because my son keeps do it I spank three time never did again
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Everyone needs a mental health day every once in awhile⌠Even kids.
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My son had high anixety. Mental health is just as important as physical. So yes you did right Momma.
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No I wouldve done the same thing!! You know your kid best if hes not comfortable dont subject him too itâŚ
I disagree. There are going to be a million situations heâs not going to be comfortable doing⌠by him having a melt down, and then getting to stay home doesnât help him get over the fear.
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You did the right thing, he could have anxiety issues
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Nope, have kept mine home many times!
Wow Iâm blown away at the amount of parents that support allowing their kids to dictate everything with these last few posts.
I understand maybe he didnât want to do the program. Did you reach out to his teacher and ask if he could just watch vs participate? What was the conversation you had with him re: not wanting to go? What conversation was had with the school/teacher?
I feel we have a responsibility as parents to gently push kids. Kids are going to not want to do things they are kids. Especially if the other option is more âfunâ
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Yay for mental health days! Good job Mama!
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