Cool as long as your daughter can speak to your Mom or your biological father about your pushy, over bearing behavior , then I see nothing wrong with it 
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If they live with you then yes, your house your rules, but if she doesn’t then I would have said it may have gone better if you had told your daughter first you’re getting in touch the ex to help her out.
I don’t think you over stepped but just saying maybe a different approach may have gone better.
I hope this all calms down and you and your daughter reach an agreement for future incidents like this.
As an outsider looking in I can see how your daughter may have felt like you have undermined her but I also see why you wanted to stop a baby from swearing.
Hope it all works out
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YTA stay in your lane it’s not your child. You’re going to ruin your relationship with your daughter by overstepping boundaries.
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It doesn’t matter if you babysit the child or not, you let your daughter know and it should of stopped there. You don’t fully know the dynamic between your daughter and ex son in law, you could of made an already bad situation worse.
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Just because you babysit for free doesn’t mean you get to involve yourself in how your daughter and her ex parent their child. You over stepped.
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I think you did wrong. Whether you babysit or not, it’s not really your business. You can just redirect his language when he says something you don’t agree with while he is in your care, but it isn’t your job to tell the parents how to parent. You told your daughter about the problem so it’s on her to actually address it with the dad as the mom. You way overstepped in my opinion.
Don’t do this to your daughter. What you are doing is mingling in something thats not your business. All you can do is correct the child if you babysit but youre giving your daughters ex fire power if he ever wanted to fight her in court. Dont do that. Stay out of her business unless she asks for help🤷
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Definitely over stepped.
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Yes. Stay out of their business. If your daughter takes issue with it she needs to address it. She’s the mother. If you’re going to bring it to anyone’s attention bring it to your daughters. You’re meddling and could potentially cause conflict or exacerbate existing issues between the ex and your daughter who ultimately are the ones who have to co-parent,not you and the ex.
“I quit my job to babysit for free”…. Sounds almost like you did that so you had some “leverage” in these situations.
It’s between his parents.
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Yea… you are… you did your do diligence by informing your daughter, as it is her child it is her choice if she feels like it is a big enough issue to discuss it with the father, not yours.
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I’d say since you quit your job to help raise your grandson you did not overstep. But also now you know how your daughter feels about it so maybe next time don’t say anything.
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And honestly you adding that you quit your job to babysit is irrelevant to the whole situation, she’s still the parent it’s her decision whether she wants to say something or not. Kids pick that stuff up all over the place just because he came home from dads saying it doesn’t mean he learned it over there. My kids go to there dads and say crazy stuff all the time and vice versa.
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Yes. If my mom messaged my kids dad he would have been livid! Parenting is between us not 1 other person is deciding factor on how WE parent our children.
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This could cause your daughter problems legally. She’s grown - let her handle her own messes unless she specifically asks you to intervene
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I would !!! As a mom mom absolutely I would !! To whoever says different her daughter may be exhausted emotionally! I’ve been there with my daughter when she didn’t hBe the strength to fight back ! You guys don’t know the situation so ease up you’ll be a grandmother someday an believe me you’ll protect those grandchildren with your life an your child too 
absolutely I’d tell him an fyi it won’t hurt the mother in court what so ever !!
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You need to stay out of it you are grandma not mom! If she didn’t find it a big enough problem to say anything then thats that she gets to decide what happens in her coparenting relationship and what happens in her child’s life and if your not careful your going to push yourself right out your child and grandchilds life!
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What if your and your daughter’s role were reversed? How about if this was done to you?
Make it a game with your grandson and replace the nasty word with appropriate words.
If gramma makes it a game your daughter will notice thus eliminating the friction between you and your daughter.
Mind your own business!!! You are under minding your daughter !
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You’re over stepping your boundaries. The child is not yours, and you are not the parent. He is not your EX husband and no relation to you.
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I understand where you’re coming from, I too am a grandma; however after you talked to your daughter it should have ended there. Another thing , you can’t just blame the father how do you know your daughter doesn’t talk that way when she isn’t around you? I do know you cannot say for sure your daughter doesn’t use foul language when she’s not around you, it just might surprise you. Maybe that’s the reason she keeps forgetting? Two sides to every story, and it’s so much easier to always blame the ex or the ex’s family.
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Have you ever thought that maybe they don’t give a fuck if they’re kids cuss 
Guarentee yall make a big deal about it so the tot says it more at your house.
My son knows cuss words and barely uses them- he uses them a shit ton more at relatives house because it gets a reaction out of them
If you were my mother, I wouldn’t be speaking to you after you did something like that.
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Ugh. My mom used to do shit like this. Please don’t. Let them co parent. You could just be there to give advice to your daughter and love 
the kiddo. Let your daughter handle the dad.
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Def overstepped. And possibly made things harder for your daughter. Your heart may have been in the right place but you def overstepped.
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You done nothing wrong. Your Grandma and you have concerns. Doesn’t matter if they’re married or not.
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Well see I swear all the time and have taught my daughter that they are grown up words and she doesn’t say them sometimes she’ll tell me not to say them its really easy to teach kids things like really easy
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Yes, it was wrong. You’re stepping out of bounds. Stirring the Hornets nest or poking the bear as they say. It’s not your place. Nobody can control what kid does under dad’s care while visitation with dad in taking place. Mom can reinforce what’s acceptable in her home and re-establish boundaries continually.
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You definitely have a say , but you don’t have the right to say it without your daughters permission .
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Not your business mind your own
Mom, stay out of her business. Sometimes we thinking that we are helping, but in reality it can make things worse. Anything you said to him, can be use against her in the future. Just love your grandbaby and let them handle their business.
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What’s a F-Bomb by the way? 
No offense, but stay in your lane and mind your business. That’s not your place
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I just message them both so it doesn’t look like I’m pointing fingers but they get the point both parents probably need to know that its not okay nor cute
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Why can’t grandparents stay in their lane. They are GRANDparents not parents.
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Sounds like u think by baby sitting for free you are in control, hopefully she handles this situation bc u had no business messaging him. I would have definitely told u to mind ur business if I was him.
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Yes. That was not your place. You overstepped big time.
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Also y’all made that decision to quit y’all jobs. So that doesn’t gives you any rights at all. Y’all made that choice, to stay at home parents to raised that child that I hope it become and descent and respectful human being. Sometimes we do wayyy to much for others and when they get older, they don’t appreciate at all.
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Not your place. You raised her and now it is time for you to advise from the side line. It is great that you babysit and even quit your job to do it but that doesn’t give you the right to go around her. Being the grandma means you trust that you raised her right and if she has not said something (regardless of excuses) then there is prob a reason.
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Not at all!!! Go Granny go!!
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Ew yes you’re wrong. This isn’t your kid and you need to mind your goddamn business. You need to butt all the way out. You had zero right to do that. If mom wanted to address it with dad, she would. You’re not the parent and you never will be despite your goal being to “love and raise him”. You’re way out of bounds and you need to back up and let the parents be parents before you don’t get to see your grandson again
That was not your place, you may watch him for free but it doesn’t give you a right to decide to message the other parent. I cuss around my kids and guess what my kids don’t cuss because we taught them not to.
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Not youre business, you can talk to YOUR daughter with concerns but you definitely overstepped
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Yes, you overstep your boundaries.
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Yeah it’s not ya business 
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Not at all. It was about the kiddo. And you messaged a parent about behavioral concerns. If that happened to me I would see it as a worried grand mother who’s trying to help. Just because you didn’t push the baby out doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be able to talk to either of the parents. It’s being an adult.
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Idk I don’t see anything wrong with it but then idk how it affects the coparenting. Maybe she catches hell for it because you butted in. It’s a word so again I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal. Simply teach the child to not say it. If mom isn’t concerned then you should probably let it go however, mom shouldn’t be throwing a fit about it and you shouldn’t be guiltily her or expecting to have no boundaries since you quit your job to babysit. That was wonderful of you. I can’t even pay my mom to babysit, but throwing it in her face is bs.
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You’re toxic and need a conversation about boundaries.
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Grandparents are not the parents. Stay out of it and mind your own business.
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Yep, you overstepped!! Your daughter is the parent not you. It is her job to correct him & reach out to the other parent in regards to THEIR child. If she chooses not to reach out, then that’s HER choice to make. Stay in your own lane!! You already “mothered” your children, so let your daughter raise her own. Next time you want to say/do something ask permission 1st. If the answer is NO, you have to back away… Like it or not.
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Its not really your place honestly…
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Oh my god. No. This was your DAUGHTER’S decision on how she wanted to handle it…and she may have been telling you she “forgot” hoping you would let it go. This can cause a lot of issues for her if the relationship between her and her ex is rocky. You 10000% overstepped and you owe your daughter an apology. I can’t even imagine my mom doing this to me with my ex husband. She informs me of whatever needs to be informed, and she leaves me to handle the rest however I decide is best. She also has always baby sat for free and never once during any fight threatened to take that away. If she did, she would not be watching him at all. That’s your grandson. You don’t charge to watch your grandkids. I’ve even offered to pay her and she won’t accept it because she loves him. This is just all wrong 
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Not your child not your say.
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Yes you where wrong this is not your child and it’s not your place to call him that’s his mothers place…. And sometimes kids say cuss words…. Correct and redirect and move on
And if you’re going to throw in her face you watching the child because she doesn’t agree with you then you shouldn’t be watching him
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Narcish is you ask me , you are not happy with how she is dealing with her sons behaviour so you are going behind her back to speak to her ex partner, sounds like you are overstepping boundaries she’s uncomfortable with and you an the rest seem to think you have a right of say bcus you quit your job to baby sit etc nobody forced your hand to help out that is/was a choice the same as it is hers to parent how she wants and to correct her son how she wants back off and respect her as his mom
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Yeah, you should have minded your business on that one. That is not your place.
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The solution is don’t babysit at all. Have her pay a sitter. You were just trying to help. These adult children think they know it all and don’t want anyone to say anything then let them pay someone and be responsible for their childcare. See how quickly your appreciated again. If not we’ll that’s their loss
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Sounds like you over stepped. I understand that you’re coming from a good place, but this is between mom and her ex.
I think your role in this situation is to remind your grandson that language like that isn’t allowed in your house and move on.
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Stop being a martyr (“I quit my job blah blah”) and keep your nose out of her business. Get a life
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Umerah mam your grand baby could’ve very well learned that word from your daughter.
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You were wrong. It bothers me to my chore when grandparents step in and try to raise or make parenting advice. Learn boundaries. If your daughter wanted to address it she would have. We deal with so much drama with co parenting the last thing we need is an in law putting their nose in where it doesn’t belong. That’s probably why she didn’t speak to you for a week. You staying home to babysit for free was your choice
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I mean it’s the word fuck who cares. I fucking don’t.
Yes. Wtf. Firstly, you have no right. Secondly, it’s odd it botheres you that much. It’s just a word.
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Not your child not your business
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Aint your kid and cant blame her for you quitting your job to volunteer to babysit. Teach him he cant drop the fbomb at your house. The end
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You are not this child’s parent. Even if you help by watching him. Stay in your lane.
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Sorry, but you overstepped the mark. That is between your daughter and her ex. None of your business. If your daughter does not want action, then let it go.
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Omg…with all due respect that is not your child nor your business. U have not just overstepped your boundaries but u have crossed many lines
I’m sorry but u need professional help.
Stop being a busy body and learn to mind your business learn your place
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All of the above ^^^^ 
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Dress it up however you like lovely fact is, was not your business.
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It’s his child they get to choose how to raise their child not you
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Any child that uses bad language is surrounded by people who constantly use it
It might seem funny to whoever but in reality it’s not ok and he can get into serious trouble if he’s going to school - him being expelled
You did the right thing because you want the best for your grandchild
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None of your business. It’s not your child. Smh
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Oh yes you did !!! That is none of your business
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It was not your place to message him. Maybe she chose to say “she forgot” in order to end the argument with you …and she didn’t really forget she just didn’t want to stir up drama with him. Sometimes it is just easier to teach a child correct ways of speaking vs making a big deal of something when it’s really nothing. Kids will repeat anything and everything, but he is still a grown adult and can speak how he wants to within his home, and should not have to be told by others what’s appropriate and what isn’t. You chose to quit your job and raise that baby but that doesn’t make you his mother or his father, and it definitely doesn’t make you the father’s parent.
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Just 
all the way around here.
Yes you were wrong. He isn’t your son. You had no right to call your ex son in law. That is between your daughter and him to handle. While it may be frustrating to not be able to do anything, you need to do just that. Your concerns are valid but your behavior isn’t.
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If the grandma is taking care of the grandchild on a daily basis, then she is technically help raise this child , so yes she had every right to text the ex.
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Hes not your kid. wtf
he could have literally heard it from anywhere…shame in u for getting in her business
I think it’s how it’s delivered. Maybe a group email saying, “Hey, I’ve heard (name) using the F-bomb a fair amount recently. You all may want to check yourself around him. Using this word could get him in trouble in preschool and other public places if it continues to be a habit. Even if you could use a euphemism like ‘fudge” it would help. Thanks so much!”
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Mind your effing business
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I remember the first time my first son said fuck…he was 3 and thought he was soooo cool lol… I raised him to know that the f word is only used by adults if adults choose to do so, neither of them swear they are 10 and 11, I feel like you might be a bit too angry… when they hear children at school or on the school bus swear they tell me how stupid they sound… did your children not drop the f bomb when they were small? Hope you don’t lose it too bad at your grand kids parents…
I’m not sure what kind of relationships people have with their ex/boyfriends baby parents but if I got a message off my kids grandparents telling me about it cause their dad “forgot” to address the matter then I’d not be livid or feel they’d over stepped the boundaries! Infact with my eldest I sometimes do ring his grandparents for advice me and his dad aren’t together anymore and we both have children with other people, but I hold a relationship with them because they are my child’s grandparents period. Not sure what people feel is so wrong about discussing a child’s needs and behaviour tbh. No they aren’t the parents but they have involvement with the kids x
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Understandably, you have a concern about an undesirable behavior. I think there’s a step you could have done before talking to the dad. And it seems like the mom didn’t want you to talk to him, so that is overstepping. One big thing that I’ve learned that children love reactions, negative or positive. So, when the child swears do not be reactive if you want the behavior to stop. This issue could probably be resolved at home easily. Co-parent relationships are important and that was between them. I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your daughter, but it sounds like something you need to work on with her. Asking Facebook if you did something wrong is a little silly, you should be talking to her. You don’t need us to justify your actions, how will this help you?
Yes. You were wrong.
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y’all are wild, i would have messaged him too. a toddler saying the f word?? i’m letting everyone know, regardless of who they are, you gotta stop. i would respect receiving the message to, as long as it was calm and tasteful telling me the child is doing that. but i guess that’s just me. i take constructive criticism well but i guess y’all don’t lol
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Ma’am….YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR PLACE! That’s your daughter and son in law’s kid, not yours!
You sound like my mother in law, when I first got married 23 years ago.
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That wasn’t your place. You’re not that child’s mother.
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I cuss a lot, I try not to but it slips out casually and my son repeats sometimes. Just because a toddler repeats doesn’t mean toxicity right away. Chill
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Naw but if it started a fight between them I would try to smooth it over
So, boundaries! However, you are engaged in actively raising the child! If your daughter did not want you to, then you shouldn’t because she is the parent. I also wonder how the ex responded etc- is this a cordial coparenting relationship where any dialogue about the child goes? Bottom line, the intention was pure it seems, but it was a boundary violation as seen by your daughter (the child’s parent)
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Who cares. It’s just a word.
Leave kids out of adults bs
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You were wrong. You’re not the parent of the child. That is their responsibility to discuss matters that are about their child
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Not your place. Why would you stir up drama that your daughter will have to deal with later. You can mention it to her but she doesn’t have to follow what you say. It’s her child and his and she probably didn’t forget she probably knows that there is no point in starting confrontation and knows some battles aren’t worth it
It is a word and kids will cuss.
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Keep your big beak out
You definitely overstepped some boundaries. It’s not your kid and it’s not your place to have this discussion. This is a discussion that needs to happen between the child’s parents.
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100 percent you were wrong! Stay out of their issues and let them parent! You quitting your job has nothing to do with their parenting!
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