Was my husband in the wrong for dating me so young?

What are your thoughts on 16 year dating? And how old is to old? I met my husband at 16- he was 31. It’s been 11 years and the last few years it’s been bothering me more and more. I guess Im just wanting opinions and advice. And he definitely is a gaslighter im slowing learning.
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Well if we are talking 16yrs in general I think as we get older, age matters less because your more likely to be on the same level, have the same wants in life etc as your partner. I think there are lots of 16yr old age gaps that are fine for a relationship. A 16yr old and a 31yr old I disagree with. You were/are a minor and he is an adult. I would seriously question why any 31yr old would want to date a 16yr old. I would also question why he couldn’t find someone of age to date.

I could be wrong but if you say he is a gaslighter…that’s my guess why he choose to be with someone so young…younger people are more vulnerable, he new he have a better chance gaslighting you then someone his own age.

I was 17 when my husband and I started dating, but he was only 24 at the time. IMO, 16/31 is too large of an age gap, and is inappropriate, as you were still a minor.
As for the gaslighting, if he’s doing that now, it won’t get better. Manipulation and gaslighting is a big red flag that things are not going to go well and he probably won’t change without a huge intervention and self realization. I’d move on.

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Absolutely and shame on your parents for allowing it. Anything beyond 5 years is inappropriate. You won’t realize the advantages took from you and manipulation done until you are older. Seek counseling please. Sometimes you are so stuck in survivor mode that you fail to realize what’s happened to you.

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So your husband is a nasty pedophile.

Girl he was GROOMING YOU. NO 16 year old should be dating anyone over 18, EVER.

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Yikes. Yes he was in the wrong. you were a MINOR he was an ADULT. Hes gross.

Yes, in a nutshell. That is a HUGE age gap, you were still a child, he groomed you to like him because women his age didn’t think he was attractive or whatever else. You still had so much to figure out about life at that age and he was almost at the age where he “should” have some things figured out. You were groomed. He’s a predator. It wasn’t love. It was convenience.

You already know the answer to this. That’s why its bothering you.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Was my husband in the wrong for dating me so young?

Too me that’s very inappropriate

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He took advantage of you.

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Well it’s kinda too late now but when you were 16, and he was 31… That means he’s a pedophile…

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And I’m sure he told you how mature you were for your age. Like all pedophiles do.

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My dad was 20 years older than my mom, they were married 40 something years

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I think that’s a bit much. And it’s super wrong. I’m 29 and my dude is 25. Or I wouldn’t be with him.

He was waaay to old for you.

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He should have left you alone until you were of age at least… he was a grown man at that point and you were still a child.

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Absolutely. Now that you’re 27 are you attracted to 15 year olds?

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Pedophile. If I was your momma he would have went to jail with a broken face.

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Very weird to me. I would feel extremely uncomfortable if you were a member of my family

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You probably bothered that you’ve been with the same person since you were 16. You are still young and probably need to explore.

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Isn’t that considered statutory rape? Depending on where you live? I know in California it’s 18. Even if it was legal, morally it’s wrong IMO. 16 is a child.

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Yah that’s creepy as hell, and a gas lighter yikes. That’s just a young ass kid with a “man” :eyes::woozy_face:

Absolutely… age is just a number… yes ONCE YOU REACH 18… and no longer considered a child!

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It’s because you’re at an age now where you’re realising that was grooming and not okay.

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Sounds like a pedophile to me! I’m a 33 year old women, and would never dream of touching a 16 year old BOY :face_vomiting: that’s literally a child.

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That’s called :sparkles:grooming​:sparkles:

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He should be registered as a child predator!

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Would you be comfortable with your own child dating a grown man? There is your answer

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Yeah it’s called grooming

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I’m 30 and my husband is 46… I wouldn’t have been with him if I was under 18 though.

Against most laws unless you’re in California. Definitely pedo behavior

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I mean would
You let your daughter at 16 date a 31 year old? What would you tell her. How would it make you feel. What kinds of things would come to your mind.

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Mfw reading this post

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Well if it’s lasted 11 years maybe it’s love?!

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See, over here 16 is legal. But, for me - it’s too much. What does a 31 year old honestly have in common with a 16 year old?

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You were groomed bro

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My husband is 19 years older than I. Married 30 years this December. I was 20 when we met but I left home at 17. Never was a typical teenager. Not all are. That said 16 was too young but in some states it’s age of consent

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He’s a pedophile! Run as fast as you can and never look back. No matter how you look at it he’s a pedo. Could you have kids with a pedo? I think you’d always be wondering. Run!

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Uh, YES!
You were not mature for your age. He was grooming you. It’s not okay for a man in his 30s to date a 16 year old.

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It’s wrong, it’s a crime, grooming, he’s an uncharged sex offender. In Canada it’s disgusting and adults can date teenagers willy nilly. I grew up in the U.S where it was a crime, rightfully so. Awful, so sorry you’re going through this :pensive:

How would you feel about a 31 year old dating your 16 year old daughter if you had one? There’s your answer.

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16 is legal age of consent. (WHERE I LIVE) However, 25+ I think is a little too old. But that is the law here. It’s not illegal where I live. :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

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Honestly, it doesn’t sit right with me. That’s WAY too young. It sounds like he groomed you.
Ask yourself how you would feel if it were your daughter and then there’s your answer

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Hope he waited until you were an adult at least to consummate the relationship. What did your parents think when you were 16?

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I’m sorry but I think that is sooooo wrong of your husband. That’s a grown man with a teenager. Eww.

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Yep was wrong
I know a lady who was 11 and her man 25 or something
Got 8 kids together
And I cant look at him ever eww

:scream::scream: at that age you were at and the age he was at. He should have known better.
Now you’re at an age now where you’re old enough to understand.
That’s a big hit of realization all of a sudden.

I was married at 15. We’ve been married for 40 years. Have 3 beautiful kids ( now adults) and 1 grandson. So age does not matter

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16 and 31 would make him a pedophile

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Where were your parents?

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Wait, it’s bothering you now, 11 years later and married? Now he’s looking old and creepy to you​:rofl::rofl:

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Gross. If a male friend of mine at 31 brought around a 16 year old girl I’d report him. Wrong on so many levels.

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If me kid walks in at 16 wit a 31 yr old dude, imma fuck his ass up then call cops to come scrape his ass up off the damn pavement!!!.. PERIOD!!!

Yep, sounds like a pedo

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Sounds like a pedaphile

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Not cool at all. Pedo behavior imo.

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So your husband is a pedo. Good to know.

16-year-old dating a 31-year-old is gross as hell

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That is ABSOLUTELY a pedophile. If any 31 year old tried to get with my kids at 16, I’ll watch as they attempt to walk away after I shatter their damn legs and face

I was 15 he was 23 . Had no parents. 16 years together. Hard sometimes but worth it

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Yea I don’t like that age gap. It’s too much for me. And that’s more of a dad then significant other.

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Yeah it called statutory rape

Omfgggggggg, I’m sorry, but some of these posts make my brain hurt lol

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It def is wrong thats statutory rape!!!

I’m 21 with a 30 but that’s just way over the line

In the uk, 16 is legal. I met my husband when i was 16 and he was 37. We have been together 26 years. We had a lot of comments in the early days but we were and are in love. Age is just a number. If he made you feel safe and happy, whos to say its wrong.

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Same thing happened to my husband, he was groomed by his first wife who was 14 years older than he was… He STILL hates her to this day

I wouldn’t let any man of that age come near my daughters. He is a pedophile!

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Got married at 15, don’t dwell on it,if you are happy move on

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I was 15, married a 21 year old. Looking back, it was 100% completely inappropriate. Thankfully it didn’t last long. But, girl it’s def wrong!!

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Nasty… when I was 16, my mom was 32. So that’s gross.

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That’s called grooming and pedophile. Girl run.

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I’d flip if a 30 year old GROWN ASS MAN came anywhere near my 16 year old CHILD!!! That’s absolutely disgusting.

I was 13 when I met my first boyfriend he was 27 we stayed together till I was 21

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Your parents were fine with that? I personally think that’s gross. I would be livid if my 16 year old was with a 31. I would definitely call the police on him.

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I would suggest you educate yourself in Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you were very young and smitten as the same a person would be his own age. But a child can’t tell the difference.

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I met my wife when she just turned 18, I was 27. We have been married 40 years, now

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Listen, all these pedo stories. They convince their victims to say they “met at 16” cuz a lot states have a law for age consent at 16-18. but 80% likely they met a lot longer than that. So spill the whole truth. The “relationship” your in is not a relationship. He brainwashed you (aka Groomed). More than likely told you what to say and do if someone asked questions so he wouldn’t go to jail. Why ask for advice when your the victim and he’s the predator abusing you for so long?

“You can’t train an old dog. “ said by Steve Wilkos

Steve line is referred to the predator. You can’t fix what’s already messed up for so long. He prays on underage girls and there’s no fixing it.

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I got with my oldest daughter father when I was 15 and he was 36. We were together almost 10 off / on the last two. I thought nothing of it at the time but now I realize it was completely wrong. He’s a pedophile flat out. They love young teenage girls so they can control and groom them into what they want.

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He’s going to leave you when you’re 40 because you won’t be what he wants anymore if not sooner

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I was 14 when I started with my husband and he was like 35 36 he was 28 years older me my mom approved of it and it really bothered me he was good to me but I don’t think the age difference it should matter if you want kids you might not it’s up to you though

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Yeah I’m trying to be nasty but his ass should be in jail

Way too many judges here

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Did I read this right :flushed::flushed::flushed:

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I was 35 he was 27 I’m 8 years older. And we been together 8 years now. His ex wife was 24 he was 18. She is 6 years older but she used to tell him she wanted him when he turned 18 that was creepy.

Think about if it was your 16 yo daughter dating a 31 yo. If that sounds inappropriate and makes you uncomfortable then there’s your answer. (Spoiler alert - it’s inappropriate and uncomfortable) :flushed::flushed:

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Yes, yes that was incredibly wrong of him.

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I’m 34, almost 35…I couldn’t imagine dating anyone even in thier 20s. Your brain doesnt even finish forming until youre 25…yeah, that’s very creepy …and wrong. Hell when I was 18 my bf was 32…looking back in that feels creepy and I was legal!!

I don’t get it what could a 31 yr old see in a 16 yr old grosss an very wrong

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If Of legal age, age is just a number. However if u grown and dating a minor u are a pedo… My husband and I have an 18 yr difference but I was in my mid 20s when we met, both legal adults.

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So wrong on so many levels! Where the Hell were your parents?! Or any sane adult in your life to step in and stop this?

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There is absolutely no way a 31 year old man is going to ever be near my 16 year old alone! How does this even happen :flushed:

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You have two red flags right in front of you *age difference *gaslighter what more do you want? And yes he was wrong for dating you so young.

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If it effects you this much to get on social media, then it’s time to GET OUT!

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Let me ever find out my 16 year old girl with a guy that age ill be in pretty hand cuffs

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Yeah he’s definitely a pedophile. If he was attracted to you at 16, I wouldn’t be surprised if he is also attracted to girls around 14-15. Please run and don’t have any children around him. And for the rest of y’all trying to justify it because y’all were 15-16, your men are pedophiles too. Just because you love your man doesn’t make him any less of a pedophile :woman_facepalming:t2:

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Ask yourself if you’d be 100% comfortable if your 16 year old child was hooking up with someone that old and you’ll have your answer. If you’d be alright with it then that’s your opinion. In my opinion if someone is looking at underage children in their 20s or 30s they’ll most likely be perving on underage children their entire life. Watch out for your children and their friends in the future cause it is pretty creepy imo

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If u have to ask then u need a therapist.

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STARTED DATING MY HUSBAND WHEN I WAS14 YEARS OLD. Married a week after my 18th birthday and he was only 20 so had to get his parents permission Back. 5hen in 1948. A guy had to be 21 years old, Married 70 years when he passed BUT have 5 children, 10 grandchildren and 16 great grandkids. TRULY BLESSED

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This is blunt, that’s a predator!

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