The real question should be: what was I thinking, dating an older man in his 30’s and I’m just 16.
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For a 31 year old man to look at 16 year and think sexually… red flags right there… I would never trust him around children.
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Yea that’s not legal…
I mean to each their own but… I personally wouldn’t and I wouldn’t let my kids or future grandkids do that… maybe if you were 20 when you met him then I understand but I feel like 16 isn’t an appropriate age?…. That’s just my opinion.
Yes he’s a sexual abuser
Yes. You were still a child. You might have felt and even behaved mature, but the fact remains, you were only a child. He was heading toward middle age. Not okay. At all. He is a pedophile and predator. You should be wary of him being around any children. He looked at you like that, you’re older now. I guarantee he looks at little girls the same way he looked at you. Leave. Get away. You have your life ahead of you.
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Well that depends. Would you want your 16-year-old daughter dating a 31-year-old man?
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Uhmm. Was he in the wrong? Absolutely yes. Were you old enough to know he was too old? Also yes. Where were your parents/guardians during this? Why is this even a question. Would you be okay with one of your children at 16 dating a 31 year old? There is your answer.
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Well if you see a problem with it now then yes
First of all my daughters are 16 right now. Will be 17 in November. There is no way in heck that a 31 year old man would be even going anywhere with them. He would be afraid of me for sure. Where was your parents at? I mean you have been with him for 11 years now. But what in the world?!
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If it makes you uncomfortable then listen to your gut. Doesn’t make him a paedophile, but it does make you question why he was interested in someone who wasn’t even an adult at the time.
Regardless, if it bothers you, there’s likely very good reason for it. You don’t need the approval of others for how you feel, although of course you can request it.
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Belinda Menard Savoie it does indeed matter for someone that is 31 to be looking at 16 year olds. That’s disgusting, age of consent shouldn’t even be that low. Most 16 year olds aren’t mature enough to make the obvious decision that something is wrong with that. That’s 15 years. What does a 31 year old man have in common with a 16 year old still in highschool? Nothing at all. It’s all perverted
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When I was 17 my boyfriend was 32 
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As someone who was groomed by a man 12 almost 13 years older than me I’m going to say that he was not right. He groomed you and took advantage of your naivety. He is definitely 100% a pedophile. He knew exactly what he was doing. I’d run if I were you. If you had went into the relationship as a legal adult that would be one thing but you were still a child. And if you have children together I’d take them and run. I wish you all the best and hope these comments provided the clarity you needed 
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He’s more than a gaslighter he’s a whole pedophile
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Yes to young. And he knew it. This post is making me sick to my stomach. Why after 10 years are u questioning it? You should be living life up right now. But now ur with a senior citizen 🤦 couple of yrs you will be changing him instead of a baby
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He could have been your daddy. This is wrong and where were your parents?
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If your happy shouldn’t be a problem.
You’ve been abused by your husband. Please seek therapy and find YOUR voice.
Yes. Sounds like my grandmother and her first husband. He got her pregnant in high school, too. Her second husband (my grandpa) is fantastic. I’m sorry 
I think if you have to ask if this is wrong you already know the answer… but yes personally I think it’s extremely wrong. No way I’d ever be happy if my daughter at 16 told me she was with a 31 yr old.
I’m going to give you a little opening to part of my life.I was 15 and my ex husband was 24(disgusting right?)I spent from 15-32 with the rotten bastard.All I can say is,this tosses so many red flags at me.
Ma’am, your husband’s a pedo.
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16&31 are waaaay too far apart. He was basically your age of 16 when you were born. Now that you are 27 and he is 42 I’m guessing you have been wondering what you may have missed out on and who you may have met closer to your age. When I was 31 there would be no chance in hell I would date a 16 year old. Even in my early 20s I had a bunch of female admirers who were still teenagers and there is zero chance I would have dated any of them let alone marry them. He has a problem and by the sounds of things you do as well
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What about if the roles are reversed and it’s an older female? Not many think about that. I truly hope my granddaughter doesn’t go down that path too. My stepson met his now fiance when he was 3 months into turning 16. She was 24. She got pregnant almost exactly a year later. SS text us (dad and I) and let us know. He/they called and told his mom and everyone else. We (dad and I) didn’t agree with the whole situation but he was living with his mom, met now fiance and emancipated himself then. We have a friend who is a police officer and said since he emancipated himself there was nothing we could do. Stepson left her 2 months into her pregnancy then got back with her when our granddaughter was born, 8 days before I turned 31 I’m 33 now. My husband is 39 as is SS mom. When husband and bm were dating she got pregnant (didn’t know it) then cheated on him with his much older pervy sex offender uncle and husband caught them together, had to wait for a DNA test to see who the father was. She didn’t say anything about the two of them being together. Her husband is 63. She got married I think about 3 years after stepson was born and divorced like 6 months or a year later. They were both around 21-23. I never thought I would be a Mawmaw before I had a child of my own.
Yeaas not sure why this is even a question.
The fact that a 31 year old was interested in a 16 year old should have been a HUGE red flag to begin with. Your husband is a pedophile.
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I met my dude when I was 17 yrs old Nd he was 44 at the time … but he wait til i was 18 yrs old to make it official . There nothing wrong dating someone older or younger then you . I love older man , these younger dude don’t know what they want in life . So I happy… she just number too me ,
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Yes! He groomed you! At 16 we may think we really know how life is and what we want but that isn’t really the case most times. He knew what life was about and knew how he wanted things.
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You know why? Because these grown ass men are preying on young females, the women their own age see that they aren’t sh!t. Young girls are naive, I was at 16, I would have believed anyone that gave me attention.
Over my dead body would my 16 yr old get with a full grown man, with full grown man intentions. My daughter is currently 15 and I would call any grown man showing advances to my daughter a pedophile.
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I wouldn’t want my daughter to be 16 and dating someone that old
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That is gross. Wtf was your Daddy at???
When I was younger I met my exhusband when I was almost 13 and he was 21… now that I have 3 daughters (15, 11, 4) I’m like eh wtf 
No way!
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You must have children or see him looking at some
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Divide your age by 2 then add 7… THATS the acceptable rule I was taught.
Ew ew ew
Can anyone say grooming ?
Would you be ok with your 16 yo being with a 31 yo? There’s your answer
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My uncle and his wife have been together since they were 17 & 31… they hv been happily married all these yrs and are 52 & 66 and only look about five yrs diff in age 
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You’re still a child at 16 so yes, that’s wrong. At least at 18 it would be legal, but he definitely groomed you.
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Yes he was wrong. He was well into adulthood and you were still an adolescent. That doesn’t mean you should necessarily end your marriage now. If you love him and want to make it work, that’s your choice But if he’s abusive you have the right to protect yourself by leaving.
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There’s no reason for a person that old to date a 16 year old. I went to school with a girl who met her husband when she was 13 and he was like 22 or 23…they dated through us going to school and got married. I always though that was creepy, but in his 30’s would be worse. What’s wrong with him that he cant find someone age appropriate? 
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You can’t be serious…of course you were too young. What kind of stupid question is this? Don’t act like a victim…you know damn well what the truth is🤦🏽♀️you are not some victim…
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Yes. Not ok. The power differential between a full assed grown man and a high school student is way too unbalanced to make this ok.
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My daughter is 31 her husband is 60 , I am 51
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My counselor in school once told me that there should be a difference in maturity between these ages. So I would have to think something was wrong because he should have been way more mature, in a different stage of life, and not have a lot in common with a 16 year old.
Also, 16 year olds don’t even have fully developed brains. That’s why this is illegal. You were groomed and taken advantage of. It probably bothers you now more because your brain is more developed.
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Everyone saying he groomed her.
She was 100% into it. So don’t put the blame just in him.
Bloody hell she is just at fault as he is.
People have to stop blaming one person in these situations.
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Yes definitely inappropriate because you were a minor but he didn’t force you. You knew what you were doing and you married him. You have been married for such a long time why does it bother you now?? My parents are 11 years apart and she was also 16 when I was born and they have been together since. I am about to be 30 they really were in love. Would I want that for my kids no but young girls now a days look for older men I’ve seen it myself while I was in Hs. Both are at fault not just the man. That’s my opinion you are all entitled to your own.
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A normal 31-year-old would want nothing to do with a child (and yes 16 is still a child), so yes he was a predator and groomed you. And if you see the gaslighting behavior now that’s further confirmation.
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I am 25 and my husbands 38. Your an adult now.
Yes this is completely wrong. The only reason he dated you so young is because he wanted a young manipulative mind to fuck with.
Where the hell were your parents 
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I wouldn’t allow my 16 year old to do it. He would be considered a pedo . That’d be a hard he’ll no and dad and gpa ( someone his age probably his age greeting the ol pedo)
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Everytime I see the word gaslighting I’m directing women to the Divorce Support Group for Women. Just read stories. I’m not saying divorce. There is just a lot of things you should read.
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Oh honey… he was a pedo …
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Yall saying watch your children… really? She was 16… not 10! Yeah it’s not ideal, and yes, 16 is still young, but its damn near of age. With that being said, if there have been no underlying circumstances, or any other issues, the children will most likely not be an issue. Our grandparents met their spouses at young ages, and how many of your grandpas turned out to be pedos? At 16, you’re past the innocent, pre-pubescent looking stage, and to basically accuse this man, and say his children are in danger because he was attracted to an older adolescent? That’s stretching it pretty far in my opinion
If he wants her he can wait til she’s older and develops her degree and life. He’s lived his life like gotten to be a 30 year OLD man. Let the YOUNG women live there life and date men there age or maybe closer to there age
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Uh theres not even anything to say abt that girl you need therapy and he needs prison.
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Well considering there are laws against that I’m gonna say yes he was wrong lol and so were ur parents for allowing it!!!
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A 31 year old man that is attracted to a 16 year old girl is a fucking pedophile. I do not give a fuck about consent. I was a 16 year old girl. I have a nearly 16 year old daughter. I am 34. I WOULD NOT FUCK MY DAUGHTERS FRIENDS. PERIOD.
Shits fucking weird bro and if you think this shit is normal or find yourself in your 30s and attracted to teenagers - you are a monster who deserves to be removed, permanently, because you are not safe for children to be around.
It is our job as 30 something year olds to protect children. 16 is a child. A CHILD. Thank gosh for all you creeps that I am not the law because shit would be way different if I were. This shit would not fly.
Eeeeww he’s a pedophile
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I was 19 when i meet my husband, he was 38. We dated for 4 years and then got married. We’ve been together for 18 yrs total and have 2 wonderful boys. He is 3 yrs younger than my parents and they love him. He is very young at heart and actually tamed me down alittle (i was a wild child). No i do not condone the fact u were only 16 but when it comes adult ages, age is just a number.
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Where the hell were your parents during that time? No way in HELL I would allow my 16 uear old to date someone that old. WTF?!
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No way I would let my 16 year old date a 31 year old! Pretty sure I would probably go to jail for trying to cut something off of him.
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I’m 35 with an almost 18 year old. Old men hit on my child all the time and it’s disgusting and I will flat out call them out so I’m sorry no one was there to protect you.
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Your husband is a paedophile and you should definitely leave him.
Please get some therapy and heal.
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Why are you thinking this now ? Took 11 years to feel something is off ? Why ?
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Met my husband when I was 26 and he was 39, we have been married 36 years and very happy.
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Yes very odd. He’s a pedophile. And I am
Sorry…
You probably missed a lot of
your childhood by having a father for a boyfriend so many years 
now that you are much older I could imagine you realizing how wrong that was.
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You’re slowly learning after 11 years?? You both were wrong!
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I was 15 with a 24 year old and i get so disgusted when i think of it now. No 16 yr old knows what she wants. I would have never even gave that person the time of day now if i just met him. And hes a gas lighter. Thats a big red flag! Let me guess hes a narcissist too? If so run!
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You was definitely to young but if you both love each other that’s what matters I had my first baby when I was 16 and I’m still married to him we have been married for 35 years
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It took 11 years to have these concerns!!! What in the hell were your parents thinking allowing this to happen…not ok 
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As someone who dated a 31 year old when I was 16 yes he was definitely wrong. Its disgusting.
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I have seen large age gaps work bit only when the younger one was at least 25. Even then, the larger the age gap, the more there is a weird power dynamic.
He was way too old for someone your age when it started though. There is no way he didn’t take advantage
Ugh maybe its bothering you because your husband is a predator. Theres no reason why a 31 year old man should want anything to do with a 16 year old girl. That’s fucking nasty.
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You were groomed sweetie. You should leave this relationship. Hugs
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I have to ask, where the hell were your parents or did you defy them and date him anyway??
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An older guy tried to date me when I was 16 and he was 25. Now that I’m older, it freaks me out that he even entertained trying to date me.
Where were your parents
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Anyone who is that old dating a 16 yr is a pedophile. Disgusting. Sorry but hexwas a grown adult attracted to a child. I’d be disgusted. That’s creepy as hell.
I was 16 and my boyfriend now husband was 22. He knew it was wrong and tried to break it off. We will be celebrating our 36 year anniversary this year we worked out but with that said I would not of let my 16 year old daughter date anyone that much older than her or let my son date someone e that young.
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Wow. when I was 16, just thinking about dating a 31 yr old would have grossed me out.
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Not only is this sick … it is totally illegal !!!
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This is heartbreaking. At 16 we think we know it all… but by 31 we know right from wrong. Run now. While you can. Keep children away from him.
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YES. It is illegal…All these years later…and you still have to ask what the laws are???.. I HOPE you don have teens…and STILL don’t know the LAW. 
I was 17 and he was 26. He groomed you honey 
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You were both in the wrong
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That’s grooming. You were a child and he was an adult.
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Sounds like you were groomed. Yes it was wrong, but you were 16. He was 31. He was the adult. He knew what he was doing
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I was dating a 22 year old when I was 16 and now I look back and am so creeped out.
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You are both in the wrong. You cannot fully blame him.
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Men only date teen girls who are so much younger than them because they’re trash and handle being with a real woman. He’s a loser. He may not be one now if you have grown together and are in a good spot but honey, you got used.
I personally have a 2 year rule. I wouldn’t date anyone more or less than 2 years my own age. It’s a personal preference and obviously larger age gaps work for some people but older guys are so creepy sometimes.
It was and is so wrong
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My husbands parents got married in the mid-70’s. She was 16 and already pregnant with his child and he was 23. He also had a two-year-old son from a previous relationship. But, her parents liked him and supported the relationship. They have now been married over 50 years and have five boys, my husband among them. It’s a struggle for me at times because yes, he totally dated a 16-year-old child. But again, things were way different back in the day than they are now. However, your husband was 31. That’s a huuuge difference! Unfortunately, what happened has already happened so nothing can really be done about it now. Doesn’t make it right. You were literally a child and he was wrong but why worry about it now, when it’s already done? If you feel uncomfortable with the situation, maybe you should look into some type of therapy. Maybe there is something else happening here that needs to be addressed. Just my opinion.
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At 16 all I would have thought about was old ball sacks. 31 is basically 70 when you’re 16.
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It would be different if you were in your 20 and dating someone older than you, that’s fine each to your own. The fact that you were 16, and he was much older than you is what is problematic. No grown man should be even looking at a 16 year old as a potential life partner. No matter of you were mature for your age or not, you were still 16. A baby still. In high school. Yes he was in the wrong for dating you. 
I don’t have much advice but it might be helpful to seek counseling or reach out to someone that could help you if you are looking for a way out. Slow learning isn’t anything especially if and most likely he brainwashed you into thinking this was okay and if your parents never mentioned anything as it being wrong then for you at the moment it was normal. I hope you find something in the comments helpful and I hope you are okay. Much love sent to you.
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Yes. That is pedophilia, no matter how one puts it.
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I couldn’t imagine being with a 16 year old. Im 47 but by the time I was 25 I was able to understand the maturity difference. I also have a daughter and son who are grown. If either of them came to my house with a 16 year old I would be apt to call the police on my own child.
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Just leave him. You’re 11 years in you can’t really cry about your age now. If you feel he was wrong for dating you so young then just go.
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