We got a new dog and she is not the right fit for our family: Advice?

Anyone else in a constant battle with their significant other over an animal? We’ve had peace in our house and with our first dog and cat for over a year. They could sleep in a bed together and loved each other so well. They love relaxation and inside time with the family. They both know bedtime routines and that we sleep in on weekends. There was no barking, and commands were respected. We recently added another dog into the mix, and she is a spitfire. She has completely disrupted our entire family dynamic. She’s insanely different than our other animals and has completely flipped our family upside down. Our constant fight is her endless barking at all hours, her aggressive behavior towards the other animals. I’ve tried everything to try to accept her, but it always ends up in a fight over her. I’m also pregnant and due in July. The stress of it all is heartbreaking sometimes. What would you do in this situation?

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If you feel she isn’t the right fit then I would find her a new home. I wouldn’t want you to eventually treat her some type of way because she is causing fights.

I would honestly look into a trainer and board her somewhere with one. It can be pricey. Also come join the dog training 101 group they can help you

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Kennel training or rehoming it’s not worth the struggle & stress

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I’d rehome her :woman_shrugging:

It’s not a bad thing to rehome a dog who doesn’t fit in with your family. Some breeds are more energetic than others. Some need strict training. Some need to be the only dog. It’s not a bad thing to find a family that suits them instead of spending hundreds on forcing the dog to fit in. Not a bad thing at all.

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If it were me, we would find anther home for her. You have to much going on. If your husband insist , you may try some training , of the dog . haha your husband would not approve. Men are harder to train than dogs.

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Rehome the dog. You are not a good fit. And that is okay.

Unless you are willing to put in the time, effort, money and patience. Rehome her.

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We had a similar issue and my husband wanted that dog so bad. We tried for months and eventually rehomed her. I’d advise doing it sooner than later. You don’t want to much time for the dog to get attached to yall.

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Uhhhhh hire a trainer??

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I would suggest finding a good rescue that’s going to take the time to rehome your pet for a small fee. But if your just going to go out and get another dog after that then maybe just take the time to train this one.

Try a trainer or rehome. Aggressiveness is hard to correct

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Sounds like you weren’t ready for another dog in the first place. If you aren’t ready to give an animal a forever home and put in the time and effort it takes to train then you should not own a dog.

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Took us about a year to get our second dog to fully adjust to the family,… Same issues!! Rehoming was never an option for us (but I wasn’t expecting either). Glad we stuck it out but you have to do what’s best for your family. Maybe agree to a date and certain milestones you expect accomplished by then… It may motivate dedicated training. Good luck!!

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It is Ok for a dog not to fit, Rehome to someone with more time.

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I would rehome her, but not carelessly. Make sure the family that gets her can cater to her needs, and knows she is a spitfire. Ask the family questions about if there will be someone at home often to walk her/yard to run around in/ ask for update pictures every so often to reassure she is in a safe and caring home .

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How old is the dog? Animals take time for adjustment especially if there’s other animals in the home. It’s not the animals fault. We have two cats and a 7 month old cavapoo n let me tell ya this little girl is a spitfire barks at every single little noise even her own reflection in the window forgets she bigger than the cats n they chase each other constantly and they will egg each other on (trust me when I say this). She’s a little aggressive too but only with others NOT me because I trained her the minute we got her that I’m the dominant one n she’s not n she knows this with me but with my mom n my son well she tests her limits completely. You need to train your dog honestly cause if this is an older dog n not a puppy and she’s been rehomed before its aggressive cause of dang anxiety wondering if it going to be rehomed again (yes believe it or not animals actually act out cause they have feelings n have aggressive behavior due to that) and if it’s an older dog or puppy the dog prolly hasn’t been around other dogs or cats enough. Seems like to me if u wasn’t pregnant u would put the effort in but cause you’re pregnant you simply don’t want to do the work it requires to transition this dog into your home.

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As long as you advocate for her ,place her for adoption with a good rescue and pay her fees in advance for the right home . Follow up on her care and well being .

With a new baby coming I would definitely rehome the dog. I personally don’t think aggression can be fixed.

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Simple. Rehome , but Don’t ever get another dog, you have no commitment.
Or, hire a trainer/ behaviourist for this poor fur baby who already sees you as “home” , that deserves better than you. He just needs guidance, training and boundaries. It’s people like you that a part of the reason so many poor dogs are in rescue cages right now. I’ve seen so many broken, really troubled, aggressive / reactive dogs transformed into the most content, settled adoring family members. But if you can’t be arsed - it says way more about you.

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Rehome or return her to previous owner (if she isn’t from a shelter). My husband and I tried to adopt a dog late last year when my baby was barely 1 years old. The dog was absolutely not a right fit for us for many reasons and I ended up having a breakdown.

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Hopefully the baby won’t disrupt ur family hope you don’t have to re home the baby :grimacing::grimacing::grimacing:

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I would most definitely get some training for her and make sure she’s fixed. That usually does the trick. Remember it isn’t an adjustment for just you. It’s a huge adjustment to her as well.

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You must rehome the dog ASAP. Not good for your health or your babies. You tried, don’t beat yourself up.

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It takes time. You can’t just expect her to be exactly how you want from the second she gets there.

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Get a trainer or rehome. :+1:

This needs so much more explanation. It sounds like you are looking for validation on getting rid of the dog.

barking and aggressive towards the other animals turned your family completely upside down and ruined your family dynamic? That in itself does not seem very stable to me :flushed:. Those 2 things in particular are actually very easy to correct with a little time and dedication and can be done yourself. The barking is the easiest to correct the aggression is a little more difficult but depends on the reasons behind it.

Age and how long you’ve had this dog are also very relevant in this situation. Also what breed she is.

You said your other dog and cat know your sleep schedule and that you sleep in on the weekend so is your sleep being interupted by her barking? Does she get enough excersise? Is she crated? So many questions that would need to be amswered in order to help you uf thats what you want.

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Why did you get a new dog??

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Definitely get a trainer before rehoming

It’s ok for a dog not to fit. It’s worse if you keep an animal your unhappy with rather then re-home. If your open to it you could try a vibration collar and maybe get her out for walks. As far as the other animals go it’s so important to do meets before you bring another pet into your home so you know how they will be with each other.

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Just rehome that dog. It’s not a good fit. And ignore all these people trying to make you feel bad. You have no reason to feel guilty. Dogs have personalities and they don’t always match well. It’s ok

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I would train the dog lol that’s literally what you sign up for.

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Please don’t “just rehome” remember the 3 rule with animals. In the first three days, your new pet may be overwhelmed with his new surroundings. He may not eat, or be himself. After three weeks, he’s starting to settle in, feeling more comfortable, and realizing this just might be his home. In the first 3 months, he will realize this is home. We adopted a 3 yr old Dutch Shepard. He had spent 482 days in the shelter. He was a huge pain in EVERYONES ass. This was back in Nov. In Jan he went to training for 3 weeks. He is JUST NOW starting to really respond to random mundane commands. He and our female dog had to adjust, and she still gets on his ass sometimes. The animals can smell your hormones. So many people are so quick to just rehome because they don’t know what to do or they are too damn lazy to try. You hopefully won’t just rehome your baby because he/she will have to adjust?

Go ahead and rehome. You’re going to add a baby to the mix and that will be a BIG change. Your frisky dog perhaps needs to go to a home with no other pets or children to an energetic person or two who have the time & money for training. If you insist on getting another dog, maybe an older, calmer one.

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What happened to be kind? Some people have a right go at her. She is pregnant and asked for advice about the dog not to get judged… good luck in finding a solution for your family. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I think the first and most fair/RIGHT thing to do is get her some training. It’s definitely not fair to her to not even get a good chance but if you have no interest in doing anything like that for her (and your family) then she definitely deserves the chance to be with someone who will do what needs to be done to get her behavior and such under control and be happy with her family and of course a family that’s happy with her too! We got a puppy awhile back and she is totally different than our two other dogs but just as children are different and learn differently, we’ve just had to make changes in how we train her. Hopefully you can figure something out that works for everyone! Good luck! :green_heart:

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Invest in some training or contact a rescue

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Need more info…breed, age, age if other pets??

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Adding new animals, especially if they’re not very little, takes a long time more often than not. It’s a rarity and a huge blessing if everyone gets along right away.

We just brought home a 7 year old pitbull. She’s a wonderful dog but it’s definitely caused stress and made things around the house harder. There is a huge learning curve - she was raised one way, we raise our dogs a completely different way, and so now we basically have to start from scratch with her. It’s been… a month now? The dogs still butt heads sometimes but it’s nowhere near as bad. Some of her behaviors have gotten better. But she’s also getting more comfortable so there are new things showing that need to be fixed. It’s been constant work and we still have a long way to go.

She’s by no means a bad dog but we have stricter requirements of our animals as far as listening and behavior is concerned so it’s a ton of work.

By no means though does that mean she should be rehomed.

You need a trainer. If you don’t know what you’re doing, trying to do it yourself with a dog personality you don’t understand is only going to make things worse. And since you’re pregnant it makes things more difficult- there is less you can actually do as you cannot stress out your body right now.

Get a trainer. Let them work with your household. I guarantee things will get better.

Don’t just get rid of the dog… you brought them home, you have to figure out how to make it work. It sounds like you haven’t really done anything to make that happen and you’re just giving up because it’s not easy.

As someone who has worked in shelters, has training in animal behavior, and who has had to rehabilitate animals who were abandoned by multiple families (including our first dog who STILL has severe separation anxiety despite us having her for almost her whole life now), it’s not fair and not healthy for the dog to be rehomed again. Not without giving him/her a chance.

Get help. Get a trainer. Make. It. Work.

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Dog needs time to adjust… I suggest if you rehome her don’t get another pet you’re not ready to adapt too.

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Sometimes new dogs just do not fit into your family. Yes they need time to settle in but depending on what behavioral issues they are having its best to find a better suited home. Seek advice from a trainer. We recently adopted the sweetest dog and we bonded so well. But she had past traumas that caused aggressive outbursts towards my other dog. We tried with her for 2 mths (we got her when i was 30wks pregnant) and i talked to trainers and my vet, they all agreed that bringing a baby in the middle of it would not be good. We had to make a very difficult decision to give her up. It crushed my heart and made me feel like a failed her but our home is much more relaxed now.

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Just a though - we have an American staffy and it’s like she goes through pregnancy with me. She gets super anxious and super protective of me specifically (we live with extended family and she is fine when we are gone it’s when I’m home that she goes a little psycho). This is my third pregnancy and she’s gotten progressively more protective and anxious with each pregnancy. Her behavioral issues tend to settle after I give birth.

That said we’ve had great luck with cbd oil for dogs. It’s not as effective when I’m pregnant but really helped our pup with her separation anxiety when I first went back to work after my first maternity leave.

On the other hand some dogs are meant to be single dogs. My dog is a people dog she doesn’t like other dogs around her pack and we wouldn’t try to introduce one. She had bad experiences with other dogs when she was a puppy ajd was with just us for the first 5 years of her life. She lives with cats now (who avoid her like the plague) but we would not try to introduce another dog.

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Some behavioral training can do wonders for a new pup. I know it’s different and frustrating, but dogs aren’t born with perfect behavior, they need to be taught.

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She or he just need to adjust to hes or her new home and owners it takes time to settle them in u just need to talk to it like u do with the others.give it love and attention aswell. Eventually. The dog will come right.but if u are not connecting with the dog at all.then it’s better to rehome her or him.

I’ll say this it could be cause your pregnant and your hormones are out of wack and the dog is making you crazy :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: I just know when I was pregnant :pregnant_woman: I had a hard time dealing with my dogs cause they barked all the time and the dog my since you’re pregnant and your frustrations dogs are very intuitive but for me I couldn’t get rid of my dogs because of it idk what kindA dog it is if it’s big small or what but mine are chihuahua and shitzu and I don’t know where you got the dog from and if they had a owner before you but dogs go through a lot and if they had a owner before you and than went to a shelter than you got the dog they go through issues themselves and struggle Ik mine went thru terrible anxiety :disappointed_relieved: so there could very well be reasons why the dog is acting like that but if your not wanting to put in the effort and feel that the dog is to much and not a fit than please if your gonna rehome make sure you find the dog a good home and who will focus on the dog and constantly have check ins with the dog to make sure the dog is being treated right because once you decide to re home the dog you wanna make sure it’s gonna be a loving home and the dog not be miss treated

She sounds as unhappy as you are. She needs training and lots of it. If you don’t have time give her to someone that does.

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Get training for the dog.

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get a dog trainer worth the money and peace of mind.

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Training or re-homing
She is struggling just as much as you are!

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How long have you had her?

Keep the dog longer… if you havent had her for at least 8 weeks you dont really know if shes the right fit every time you move a dog it changes them

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How long have you had the dog? It takes time to adjust for everyone, the dog and your family. Also if the dog is younger, obviously it’s going to have more energy that’s a given. Have you tried training first? I personally would explore all options first before rehoming the dog. They are a commitment.

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There is no shame in finding a new family that is a better fit for the pup. Just make sure you do the work to make sure it’s a good family.

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Dog training. I wouldn’t give up just yet

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If you’ve only had the new one a short time, a longer adjustment period is needed.
Then a lot of regular, consistent Training.

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Training and a trainer is all usually need. The dog needs to be taught the expectations.

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Aww poor puppy, she is new to your family too, lots of training, patience and love.

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Doesn’t sound like the right fit for your family. When it comes to taking a dog into your family, you have to RESPECT the dog. It’s not the dog being forced to be what you want them to be. From the description it sounds like this dog was never properly introduced to other dogs, and has had a lack of training. I personally recommend getting with a rescue and rehoming. If you must find another dog then take the dog you already have and let them help guide you to the right decision. Fyi I actually study dog behavior so I do know what I’m talking about

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Well…the dog probably needs to be trained to start with. No dog is just gonna come into a new house and immediately and automatically do everything as you expect

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Give the dog more time and more training to understand your family dynamic. You can’t just expect an animal or even a human to just “fit” in a new environment especially when there are so many factors at play. I probably also wouldn’t have added another animal into the mix if the dynamic was at peace while being pregnant.

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Talk to a trainer.
If that still doesn’t work rehome the dog. Especially if she’s being aggressive. You don’t need that when the baby is born.

This is why your current animals should’ve been introduced in their territory calmly one at a time prior to any commitment and is why so many are rehomed. There’s no shame however in finding a new suitable home. It’s not fair to your primary animals to be confused and territorial. Nor is it reason to interfere in the peace of your home and marriage. If a trainer doesn’t work please do what you can to bring peace to your other pets and spouse first.

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Yes look at Major the Biden dog. Has bitten twice and they are focusing on the new crazy environment at the White House
dog behavioralists are supporting time and training

How old is the dog and how long have you had her?

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:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::rainbow::rainbow:As sad as it may be it sounds like she may not be a good fit for your family. If you have the time or money try training or having her trained. There is no shame in doing what’s best for your family and other pets. Sometimes society can be quite judgy when it comes to rehoming. Of course there definitely needs to be time given to adjust but ultimately if it isn’t a good match then chances are your dog isn’t happy either. If you feel like you’ve exhausted all avenues please don’t feel bad for finding a new home for your doggo!!

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How new? It could take a while to get use to the new sense of home…for all animals and people…you need patience and consistency…redirect your new dogs attention. Look up video of training dogs…call the vet and ask if they have some suggestions that may help…hire a dog trainer to help you. …

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Because you’re pregnant, and it’s causing emotional distress, I would give the dog to someone who’s more suited for her. Once the baby comes, things will get more stressful, postpartum depression is a possibility, and you do not want that to hit while being stressed about the pets. There’s no shame in giving the dog to someone more suited to handling that type of personality.

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So when the new baby comes in and disrupts your house hold because it’s new, are you going to rehome it too? Don’t get animals if you can’t put in the time and effort. Being pregnant is NO excuse you choose to get the dog now the dog deserves a chance to find its place within the family and that takes time.

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Spend the money on a professional trainer. I really didn’t think I was going to survive my boxer lab and then we had him trained and he is literally THE best dog now. It just took some time. Also if shes a rescue obviously it’s gonna take time for those behavioral issues to correct because she doesn’t trust anyone. Give her love and compassion and all the patience. Your her pack now and you’ll only destroy her of you get rid of her. You wouldn’t get rid of your new baby if it started disrupting your house hold.

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Give her time, she has to learn the ropes. Train her.

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I highly recommend checking out YouTube for some dog training tips, specific to the issues you’re having (barking, dominance establishment, etc) It does take time and consistency…consistency is key. Lots of treats and lots of positive reinforcement! Dogs want to please their humans…he/she just isn’t understanding what you want yet.

Dogs are like children. They have to have patience, time to adjust and training :person_facepalming:. They aren’t going to automatically fit into your spectrum. You have to train guide and love them.

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Hire a trainer!!! And make sure the new dog is getting enough stimulation and exercise. Do research on the breed. I adopted an Australian cattle dog years ago and there was a HUGE learning curve for me. He needs 1-2 hours of exercise EVERYDAY or becomes a giant butthole.

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Re-home with no shame. Get a pet that fits.

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I got a dog that barks at weird things. He is normally calm but we just tell him to be quiet. Maybe the dog is intimidated by something, possibly you. What have you done to make the dog comfortable ?

Animals are smart. They don’t want to be around people who make them feel uneasy.

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If it’s disrupting your family dynamic and you’ve exhausted every resource you can for the dog then you may look in to rehoming. We adopted a dog, I worked with her for months, we got a trainer and she still wasn’t a good fit for us. We had to give her back to the adoption center and I cried for a week. It happens. And don’t feel bad or let people bully you regardless of your decision.

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What kind of dog is it

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Have you put in the time to work with the dog? A trainer? We put in over a year and a half to tame our Shepard. These things should have been considered before you brought the dog into your home.

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A new member of the household will ALWAYS change things and require an adjustment time for ALL parties involved as well as patience

I’d suggest either training or finding a more suitable forever home since it sounds like your home is just not a good fit for both dog and human

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Ur family is more important and ur sanity, we surrendered a husky and she ended up in a great home and they were able to get her special training

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Give her time, you don’t give up on your dog. Teach her.

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Get ride of the dog before you have that baby if you were not expecting I would say training and patients but not dogs gotta go because Of the aggressive behavior

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Um why add a dog if you’re pregnant? Pets are very much like kids

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If you weren’t pregnant I would say find a trainer and give it time but being due in July that would be a very hard thing to do. It sounds like she’s going to need a lot of intensive work and stimulation which will be hard with a newborn. There’s no shame in admitting she’s too much and rejoining her. Just please don’t push her off on a shelter. Find a rescue to take her or a living family that you yourself can check references on. Before getting another dog please consider the breed you are looking into and their temperament/energy. It sounds like a high energy breed or puppy simply isn’t for your family.

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Have you tried hiring a professional trainer? Or are you just upset a new dog hasn’t quickly and magically adapted to your specific schedule/routine/behavior? Dogs take time and effort. Are you going to rehome every new dog if it doesn’t automatically fit perfectly into your home? If so just don’t get anymore. All animals are different and have different personalities, and most will need time and training to make the best transition into a new home. But I personally am a pretty firm believer in if rehoming is even an option to you than do not own pets, especially dogs.

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Try a bark training collar that vibrates. And make sure that the puppy is stimulated and work on just training her. Take her to a puppy training session or something. Or re-home her to a family that is suited better for her and get a dog suited for you

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If you have tried a trainer and its honestly not your pregnancy hormones id rehome. Some animals just arent a good fit

Vet. Trainer. Then if nothing works rehome with a rescue group.

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Soooo many things come in to play. What breed? How long have you had her? How old is she?
Some breeds are crazy no matter the age. If you’ve had her less than 3 months, she’s STILL falling into routine and getting used to her new surroundings, environment and her new humans. Most people think it takes a week or to - it can take up to 3/4 months. If she’s younger than 2 years, she’s still a pup and will be hyper/testing boundaries.

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Rehome. Yes dogs are our family… but if you’re not capable of being there in the capacity the dog needs - there are homes out there that would be a better fit/family.

At the end of the day you should do what you feel is right and do it with compassion and care.

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Where’s the cat training women gone :thinking:

Dog trainer asap. Also depends on dog breeds too. My German Shepherd and Corgi are very vocal, that’s their breed. My other dog only barks at the door being knocked on or the bell. My German chases the cat and have had him since 8 weeks. They are both herding dogs, that’s what they do.

Please research the breed (unless mixed) but get a trainer to help you first. Please give it to a rescue or a person that will work with it and not a county kill shelter.

People act like rehoming an animal you just got makes you the worst human. It’s not. Obviously don’t go out buying tons of animals to get rid of them. But if once or twice in your life you have to rehome an animal for legit reasons, it’s FINE. You have a baby coming and don’t need to be worried about it being aggressive to your child or keeping your child awake when it’s already hard to get them on a sleep schedule. Your dynamic with what you had going on at home was working. If you can’t afford or have the time to train, give the dog to a new home, just make sure it’s a rescue group or someone you know for sure is worthy of taking them. YOU DONT HAVE TO FEEL BAD FOR REHOMING THEM.

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Wow, so many “get rid of the dog”, no wonder shelters are full, so, they’re just disposable?!? Dafuq?!?

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It takes time and no offense it sounds like you need to go

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Drop it off at the pound

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Rehome the dog through a shelter that will ensure background checks are performed and the dog goes to a proper home for it. If u weren’t pregnant I’d say patience and lots of training but obviously the dog sadly doesn’t suit your home and adding a new animal to a household is stressful enough anyway without a new born baby also in the mix soon. It doesn’t make you a bad person or animal owner to admit this and rehome to proper home. So feel no guilt, you have tried , your home doesn’t suit the dog. Now your duty lies to try and find the dog one that does suit.

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I would seek training first, if that doesn’t work out, rehome.

Call in an animal behavior specialist to help you train and CORRECTLY introduce her to the other animals so they learn to get along

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IMO… Alpha has not been established… The new dog is coming in and taking over the house hold and pecking order… Lots of training, respect and love is needed… The new dog needs to learn his or her place… Its not easy for them and if they sense you are uneasy than its 100 times harder… You have to earn the dogs trust just like it has to earn yours…

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Gotta love it when people get a new pet and just expect it to magically behave exactly as they imagined it, Then when it doesn’t and they can’t be bothered with trying just shift it on. I’m betting the fighting is because hubby is trying to give the poor thing a chance to settle in while mrs knocked up can’t be arsed and just wants the easy no effort way out … I’d be worried about her approach to raising kids.

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